The man doesn’t call, doesn’t write: what does this mean, what to do, psychology

27.05.2019
Every girl in her life has had such situations when she was anxiously awaiting the next call from her loved one, even a short message, but he still didn’t come. Women are confused and do not understand what is happening. What to do if a man doesn’t call or write, and what this could mean.

Before you make a drastic decision to break up or get offended by a man because of his silence, think about why the young man disappeared from the network. Let's look at the 8 most common reasons for the lack of messages and calls from guys.

Busy

Active men cannot stand still; they strive to develop financially, intellectually, and be the center of attention of friends and family. This type of guy attracts women more often, but getting their full attention is very difficult. A girl should strive for her lover, run his marathon with him in the same rhythm.

Many ladies perceive being busy at work or at university as a childish excuse, but this is wrong. Men by nature are focused on social activity; they need time free from relationships to solve their problems.

In this case, the duration of the disappearance matters. If a man doesn’t call for 1-2 days, relax and wait for him to appear. If a guy doesn't think about you for a week, think about whether you really have love.

What to do

Resentment over temporary disappearance from the network, hysterics are inappropriate. You need to learn to wait, but also not to forget to unobtrusively remind yourself.

Use the following tips:

Don’t torment yourself with thoughts: “Why doesn’t he call me or write to me?” Ask about the reasons for the silence later, when the man is free to communicate with you.
Mind your own business: go to a meeting with friends, re-read books that have been waiting on the shelf for a long time, do some general cleaning of the house.
After a couple of days, unobtrusively remind yourself. Write a greeting in SMS or messenger, ask how things are going, offer help in solving problems.
If a man responded with a short message, promising to find time to communicate as soon as possible, write that you miss him and say goodbye affectionately. Complete the correspondence here.

On a note! Maintaining a relationship with a workaholic is difficult. Perhaps you will be provided with everything financially, but you will receive negligible affection, love, and attention. If this type of man does not suit you, it is better to immediately abandon the relationship and reclassify the guy as an ex.

Something happened

The guy stopped writing and calling for objective reasons: he got sick, suddenly went on a business trip where there was no connection with the outside world, he lost his phone number. Unfortunately, not every man is attentive enough to think about a girl’s feelings. Especially if you have only recently met.

What to do

Don't act like a little girl: don't fantasize about horrors and tragedies. Your man will soon show up on his own; you shouldn’t write first in such a situation.
Wait for the message. When a guy calls or writes, try not to argue or quarrel.
Ask about the reason for the absence. If a man refuses to answer, do not insist. He has the right to keep a secret.

Calling a girl before a sudden trip or business trip is a good sign to check the relationship between lovers. If a guy finds a couple of minutes to talk, it means he really cares about you.

Why doesn't a man call: summary

he didn’t like you and doesn’t understand why he should waste your time;
He liked you too much, and he doesn’t know how to approach such an ideal woman;
he is not ready to change his life for the sake of the girl of his dreams - it’s better to have a cozy old job, a bachelor’s tiny apartment and take the subway every day;
he didn't have time to get bored! Give a man a chance to “mature” and he will call;
force majeure circumstances: my phone was stolen, I urgently left as part of an expedition to Antarctica;
he does not want to continue communication and decided to leave in English;
if this is your man or spouse, he just might be busy. Don't be intrusive.

Not interested

The man is not too fascinated by his new acquaintance. He does not want to fool her and continue communication out of politeness. An experienced woman will notice a lack of interest a couple of days after online communication or on the first date by the following signs:

The guy answers questions in monosyllables, reluctantly.
Doesn't invite you on a date, doesn't ask for your phone number.
If the date has taken place, then the man does not agree on the next meeting, he is clearly bored.
Does not ask questions, does not take the initiative to continue communication.
Constantly talks about his ex. Probably, feelings for her have not cooled down yet.

A man's disinterest in a woman does not call into question her beauty and intelligence. You might not agree on interests, tastes, or temperaments. There is nothing to be upset or cry about here.

What to do

You just need to come to terms with the fact that a man is not fascinated by you. You shouldn't be actively interested in yourself; you shouldn't impose yourself. Start looking for another guy.

To cope with this unpleasant situation, use the advice of psychologists:

Let go of false hopes. Don't think about how to please this person. Never expect a call or SMS from him, try to forget your new acquaintance.
Start your day on a positive note. Tune in for the best, don’t let sad thoughts enter your soul.
Remove his number from your phone, his account from your list of friends in instant messengers, VK.
Make a tight schedule of classes for a couple of weeks: go to visit, go to the gym for training.
Actively meet new guys, but don't make long-term plans for a relationship.

Tired of waiting, girls often use fortune telling to find the reason for male silence. Coffee, cards, witches, horoscopes. Whether you will receive a truthful answer to all questions is unknown. But magical rituals will definitely distract you from sad thoughts, at least for a short time.

Successful resumption of communication

There is no need to hope too much for success if the guy disappears after the first intimacy or date. It is better to renew a relationship when the couple has been dating for some time. If there is hope, then it is necessary to act clearly, but carefully.

Calm down

First you need to put your emotional state in order. Looking at photos of your lover on social networks for days on end will not solve the problem, but will drive you even deeper into depression. First, you need to allow yourself to throw out the negativity: cry on a friend’s shoulder to a sad song, go to the shooting range, ruffle a pillow. When negative emotions go away, you need to fill their place with pleasant ones. This is a great time for shopping, sports, visiting a beauty salon, or hiking in the mountains. The main thing is not to allow yourself to mope.

You need to leave the guy alone, especially if he reacts aggressively to attempts to find out the reasons or ignores the question. There is no need to try to starve him out. It is better to come to terms with the man’s decision and leave this act on his conscience.

View from the outside

The next step is to try to understand why the man did what he did. You should focus not only on his motives, but also on your own guilt in this situation. If the girl turned out to be wrong, you can try to correct everything by apologizing on your own initiative.

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On the other hand, thinking about the situation will help you sort everything out and learn a life lesson. From now on, the girl will choose her partners more carefully so as not to create similar problems for herself. You should not devalue life experience and focus on the negative aspects. Life has many colors, it is not only black and white. Any situation carries something positive, at least in the form of a lesson.

Gently hint about yourself

If the reason is not force majeure, then you need to try to get your partner to talk. Let it be a bitter but honest confession. Perhaps the girl can still change the guy’s decision and correct her mistakes. For example, quit bad habits, show more attention and care.

A heart-to-heart conversation is the minimum a woman can do in this situation. The maximum is to try to change your behavior for the better if this is the reason for your lover’s departure.

Withstands pauses

The guy doesn’t call or write to create intrigue, “marinate” the girl or think about whether he needs a relationship with this lady. A man does not behave this way to make a girl angry. He is guided by other considerations: he wants to get bored himself and intensify passions.

What to do

Psychologists advise doing this with a manipulative guy:

Answer calls and letters after a long break in communication with restraint.
There is no need to ask where he went, no matter how much you might want to. Pretend as if you didn’t notice his absence from the network at all.
In a couple of days, disappear the same way, teach your loved one a lesson. You should not ignore a guy’s messages for more than 1-2 days, otherwise he may seriously think that you have broken up.

No money

A young man may not write or call after a couple of real meetings if he is having financial difficulties. Not every guy can walk with a girl through the streets of the city without a penny in his pocket and keep her interested, so many prefer to disappear for a while without explaining the reason.

What to do

If you understand exactly what the reason is for being ignored, we advise you to do this:

Call the guy first.
Strike up a casual conversation. Tell him you want to refund him half of the dinner he paid for at the last meeting. The guy will most likely refuse, then take the initiative into your own hands.
Ask a man out on a date, but agree that today you pay.
In the evening, gently bring up the topic of money. Say that restaurants and gifts are not important to you. Hint that there is nothing more valuable than his loving glance, hugs, and pleasant words.

Two outcomes

As a result, the situation can develop in two ways. This leads to two natural outcomes:

The girl does not want to let her partner go, putting pressure on him. He feels the loss of himself as an individual next to his partner and dissolves in the relationship. The guy feels discomfort, so he subconsciously leaves the woman in order to regain his own “I”. He needs to be alone for some time, even if there are no thoughts of separation or divorce. Without understanding this, the girl herself ruins the relationship. Constant calls and thirst for explanations only push your partner away. The likelihood of him returning becomes less likely. There is no need to talk about a situation where the guy initially did not plan for further development of the relationship, but the girl thinks differently, since self-humiliation cannot solve the problem.
If the man disappeared, but appeared after the woman’s call, then all is not lost. He is open to conversation, that is, he has not yet decided on his feelings. The further situation develops according to the partner’s scenario and depends on how competent her behavior is. There is no need to give in to the impulse to take revenge on him, to fall in love with him again and trample him. It’s better to analyze your attitude towards a man, think about what attracts you in him: appearance, status, personal qualities, or all at once. If it turns out that there are no feelings, and the girl is driven only by excitement, then you should refuse to continue the romance. But when you have feelings, you don’t need to immediately rush into his arms. It is important here to make it clear to the man that such behavior is not the norm. But there is no need to reproach him for anything, since this is another crisis that both of them successfully survived.

If a man has disappeared without explanation (stopped communicating or showing up on the doorstep), you should think about it and analyze the situation. There can be many reasons. First, you should try to find out the reason directly from him. But if he ignores the question, there is no need to be persistent and aggressive. Waiting will be the best tactic.

Offended

This option is possible even after a first date or online communication. It’s easy to offend a man’s ego if we touch on the following topics:

A man will not forgive anyone for ridiculing tears, vulnerability, or fears.
Comparisons with other guys, exes (not in favor of the interlocutor).
Discussion of his shortcomings in a bantering, harsh manner.
Showing dissatisfaction after intimacy, ambiguous jokes.
Stories about what your girlfriends think about him. Of course, all women discuss boyfriends and husbands with their friends, but it is not necessary to tell a man about this.
Demonstration of intellectual, physical superiority on the part of a woman. This is a powerful blow to a man’s pride; he wants to be the first in everything.

Another one appeared

This is the most tragic answer to the question: “Why doesn’t the guy write or call?” While the young lady doesn’t let go of her phone and constantly checks social networks for new messages, the man is texting or meeting a new acquaintance.

What to do

If the chosen one has another woman, nothing needs to be done. Why do you need a man who quickly switches his attention from one female person to another. The appearance of another girl suggests that the guy did not love you with all his soul. Why hold him back and worry? Move on, look for real love, not fiction.

He is married

An unexpected meeting or online acquaintance with a married man is not uncommon. And girls are not always aware of the marital status of a new acquaintance.

Dizzying sex, kisses, passionate SMS drove the guy crazy, and he forgot, on purpose or by accident, to tell him that he was married. After a few dates or chatting online, he disappeared, and thank God.

Married men stop calling or writing for several reasons:

Communication was interrupted by the legal spouse. Now the phone and accounts on WhatsApp and VK are under strict control. The man will definitely not get in touch for a long time.
The guy realized that he was making a mistake. He is ashamed in front of his wife and children. He is not obliged to explain anything to his new acquaintance.
A married man was drunk, he felt lonely, or he had a huge quarrel with his wife. The guy made a new acquaintance by chance; in the morning, when he was sober, he decided “not to misbehave” anymore.

What to do

Close communication with a married man is unacceptable for a decent girl. You need to tune in to the breakup and ignore messages that may arrive after a long time.

So, now you know what to do if a guy doesn’t write and why this happens. Remember that men are built differently. They can disappear for several days without good reason and not feel guilty for remaining silent. And women at this moment find no place to worry and worry. Therefore, the first thing you need to do is calm down and wait 2-3 days, and not call 10 times a day to get an explanation.

Main reasons

The reasons for this behavior of the beloved are different. Maybe he would be glad to call, but circumstances do not allow this. Or he simply doesn’t want to communicate with you anymore, that’s why he stopped calling and texting. To understand how to proceed, you need to figure out two things:

The real reason for your boyfriend's silence.
Do you need him and are you going to fight for your feelings?

If you answer yes to the last point, then you urgently need to understand the reason for his sudden disappearance from your life. We'll tell you why they don't call or write to their girlfriends.

Having problems

This is a rather comforting version that will preserve the girl’s self-esteem. Anything could happen: he could get sick, go on an urgent business trip, go to his great-aunt’s funeral, finally. Not all men are concerned about warning girls about their sudden disappearance, especially if they are not too much in love. Maybe it doesn’t even occur to them that you are worried and waiting for a call. But if a man loves, then he will find a couple of minutes to call his girlfriend and warn her that he will not get in touch for several days.

Lost your phone number

This happens, especially at the very beginning of a relationship. If you do not have a common circle of acquaintances in which you can restore each other’s contacts, then this reason is real. He could accidentally erase the address book on his mobile phone, lose or break the phone. But if he is seriously interested in you, he will find a way to contact you.

Amorist

It is possible that he met with you in order to add to the list of his sexual victories. You had fun and interesting with each other, he could “show” his feelings and show sincere interest. But all this was done in order to persuade you to have intimacy.

It doesn’t matter that you’ve met many times: the rule of “eight dates” after which a girl can agree to have sex has not yet been canceled. What if those eight dates ended and you never crossed the line? Then he could decide that he has nothing to “catch” with you, and went in search of another “victim”. All you have to do is sincerely thank him for stopping calling and writing.

It was not passion that controlled him, but politeness

Sometimes it happens that, afraid of offending a girl, a young man continues to date her, although they do not feel much interest. You could spend free time together, relax with friends and go to the cinema, but this might not mean anything to him. So, they treat girls purely in a friendly manner and do not feel responsible for their feelings.

Offended

Although, to be honest, the word “offended” should not define a man’s internal state. Here it would be more correct to say “angry,” because this is how they react to events that are important to their lives. The fault could be your behavior, his jealousy, or someone's negative words about you. So he “punishes” you with his silence. What can I say? If his feelings are strong, then he will call to dot all the i’s.

I just lost interest in you

This is the most common reason for the sudden silence of young people. At first he was interested in you and was going to build a serious relationship, but then something went wrong. You failed to “hook” him, he might get bored with the relationship. Men are a decisive people; they can easily change their mind about dating without serious reasons. The lack of desire to see you every day is the main reason for such a separation.

Another one appeared

It is likely that you have a rival to whom he is ready to devote all his free time. And while you look at your mobile phone with sad anticipation, he rejoices in the company of a completely different girl, completely forgetting about you and your feelings. It’s not the most pleasant reason, but it shouldn’t be ruled out either: if married men are in the habit of walking “to the left,” then young people sometimes don’t consider themselves obligated to remain faithful. Especially if they don’t love the girl with all their soul and body.

There could be many more reasons. But they all fall into two categories: when there is hope for restoring the relationship and when there is none. You can spend hours wondering what happened, or you can ask him about it directly. True, you will have to call him first, and this does not always work in the girl’s favor. What to do if he suddenly disappeared from your life: sit back and continue to wait for a call or start taking action to clarify the situation?