How to behave with a man? There are documented and unspoken rules regarding human behavior, defining permissibility and education, courtesy and observance of certain traditions - all these types of behavior are communicated to us from childhood, but it is not always customary to tell a girl how to behave correctly with a man, and in some this topic is generally taboo. However, with a certain line of behavior, you can improve the relationship or ruin it completely; by choosing how to behave, you choose the future fate of the relationship.
Dealing with such a sensitive issue starts with determining how to behave with a man at the beginning of a relationship, since it is better to initially build everything in a direction that is comfortable for you, than to then spend years and thousands on your own and couples’ psychotherapy trying to edit what happened. And difficulties usually arise due to the fact that in the initial stages people are rarely quite frank, but try to play some kind of role, certainly somewhat similar to the true picture, but still less voluminous and real. This behavior is dictated by the desire to please, and then you can observe how a woman laughs at jokes that are not funny, eats fast food food, although she had previously strived for veganism, hides her aggressiveness and criticism of her partner, hides some facts of her biography (for example, radical views or love of extreme sports).
Some try to squeeze into the popular image and are touched by children, pretend to be responsive, and enjoy cooking as their last happiness. Such metamorphoses are caused by the desire to hide one’s own shortcomings and exaggerate the qualities considered positive among men, but there are also moments when a woman does not express her frank opinion, confuses her tracks in answering questions in order to maintain her own safety, to cover sore spots that are not yet close to a loved one I don’t want to open it, but it could significantly affect future relationships. Whatever the reason for such theatricalization, the result is the same - the woman cannot stand playing the chosen role around the clock, and the relationship is becoming closer, and if it was not difficult to be a smiling modesty twice a week, then pretending to be the director of a construction company around the clock will lead to the collapse of either a relationship or a career.
Any lie comes to light, in some families this happens after the birth of children and quite a long life experience together, but then the man leaves, faced with irreconcilable traits, or even reconcilable ones, but the fact of deception gives rise to such a high level of mistrust that no further deep interaction is anymore possible .
How to please a man? Practical recommendations
Firstly, the very formulation “how to please a man” is erroneous. If you formulate the question this way, it means you are putting yourself in the position that you need him more than he needs you. And this is bad, because in this case your importance will be lower.
Now let’s reformulate the goal correctly: you don’t need to try to please a man, but to become for him the kind of woman he dreams of being next to!
Do you feel the difference? You need to get out of the frame of being worthy of sympathy, and make sure that he himself tries to get your attention and your interest.
And now I will tell you how to do it.
1) Competition
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Many girls make the following mistake: when they like a guy, they are very afraid of scaring him off and hide from him the fact that a crowd of suitors is running after them, and this is a mistake.
Important! A man should see that you are popular with the opposite sex. Then your importance will be high. The same principle works in the opposite direction: if a girl sees that a lot of girls are hanging around a man, then his value increases and he seems more attractive to her.
Even if in reality no one is courting you (which is not very cool, change this situation), then at least create an image in the man’s head that you are successful with other men. This can be done in a variety of ways. For example, while communicating with a young man, you may casually express your misunderstanding: “What kind of men are they now, very strange. At work, someone leaves me a chocolate bar on my desk every day, and also writes a note with a compliment. I don’t understand why many men don’t talk about sympathy directly?”
And in the head of the man you need, an image is immediately formed that someone is courting you, which means you are in demand. This greatly increases your importance. But it’s better to pull off a similar trick with a story about a note with a person with whom you are not yet in a serious relationship. If you and a man are already building something serious, then it is better to refrain from telling such stories.
There is one important nuance in the topic of competition - a man must see that you are popular among other men, but at the same time you are inaccessible to them!
Because if you say: “But Vasya gave me flowers, I’ll go on a date with him tomorrow,” then your man will 100% send you and say: “So go on a date with your Vasya, and don’t come near me again.”
Your man must understand that Vasya wants to get you, but at the same time you are inaccessible to Vasily. Thus, your importance grows, but at the same time you have nothing to do with it, it’s Vasya who runs after you, and not you after him.
But competition alone, as you understand, will not be enough, so we are moving on to the second point.
I also recommend reading : How to get a man interested in psychological techniques (Opens in a new tab)
2) Position of abundance and evaluation frame
When communicating with a man, you can adhere to 2 positions:
- Try to please
- Assess a man
The first position puts you in a more dependent position, and the second - in a more advantageous one.
Remember , the one who chooses is always of greater importance. The one who is chosen is always of lower importance.
And this attitude must be built into you at the level of thinking. Never try to please a man! Always be evaluative. Evaluate his intelligence, outlook, behavior, his attitude towards you. And ask yourself more often, “Is he good enough for me?”
And this kind of thinking will have a positive effect on your communication. A man will see that you are not trying to please him or please him, and this will bother him (especially if he is a high-status man who is spoiled by female attention).
But to be appreciative, you must be in an abundance of choice and male attention. If your Vasya is the only guy in the village, then it is obvious that his importance to you will be enormous, and you will not be able to act effectively and reason soberly next to him.
Therefore, communicate with different men so that you can choose the most worthy among them. The more male attention you get, the better.
And believe me - men feel very well at the level of intuition that a girl is popular with the opposite sex. And the higher its popularity, the stronger the desire to get it.
I also recommend reading: How to become attractive to men? (Opens in a new tab)
3) Find common ground
We men like the girls most who share our worldview and values. On the Internet you can often hear the following phrase “Opposites attract,” but I don’t believe in it. Of course, you may be interested in a person who is your opposite, but it is unlikely that you will have a long-term relationship with him (although this is possible).
Girls, believe me, it is such an incredible feeling when you meet a person who thinks the same way as you. You immediately become interested in knowing a girl who shares your views.
How can you apply this information in your life? - Very simple! When communicating with a man, try to find similarities between you. And even if your views differ on something, under no circumstances argue with a man or try to prove him wrong. Instead, listen to the other person's point of view and try to see the situation through their eyes. Firstly, with this approach to communication your horizons will expand, and secondly, you will not cause irritation or rejection in a person.
I also recommend reading: How to check if a guy needs you? (Opens in a new tab)
But if you understand that your and his views differ very much on important and key issues for you, then just say goodbye to him and don’t waste your time on the person. But you shouldn’t argue in any case - this is an ineffective strategy for communicating with the opposite sex.
And yes, this does not mean that you should not have your own point of view, you should have it. You just should always respect a man’s worldview and not argue with him, proving that he is wrong.
4) Acknowledge his leadership
Girls, I want you to know the banal, but very effective truth about the devices of this world. The world in which we live is structured as follows:
A man is aroused by the woman who recognizes him as a leader.
If a man feels like a dominant next to a woman, then his libido skyrockets. This is how nature works. The same thing works in the opposite direction. A girl will be excited by a man who is stronger than her (both physically and mentally).
If male attractiveness is courage, determination and leadership, then female attractiveness is tenderness, softness and “weakness”. Why did I put the word “weakness” in quotes? Because men are not attracted to a “weak” girl in life (many people don’t like those), but to someone who is weak next to him. But in life, a girl should be confident in herself and know her worth. But when she sees her man, she immediately turns into a little girl who recognizes him as a leader.
This feeling of leadership that you experience next to a girl is beyond words. It is this feeling that many men get hooked on. Next to a girl who recognizes you as a dominant, you relax in a special way.
But there are several important points here!
- The first point is that you should not submit to a man under duress. You must do everything with pleasure and of your own free will. There is no need to break yourself, you yourself should enjoy playing the role of a follower, so give the leadership position to a man.
- The second point is that if a man behaves incorrectly towards you (insults, belittles, etc.), then in no case should you dance to his tune. In this case, you should, on the contrary, distance yourself, express your dissatisfaction, and if words don’t work, then turn on the coldness and ignore so that the man understands his mistake. You are a sweet and gentle girl only when he behaves well with you.
But now let’s talk to you about how you should never behave with a man.
Unforgivable mistakes
Not every woman understands the male psyche. It often seems that everything is going right until a relationship crisis occurs. Each couple is individual, but there are typical mistakes women make in their behavior with men:
- Excessive independence. Often girls unconsciously indicate that they don’t need help, and then complain that real men have disappeared. The guy wonders what he did wrong.
- Touchiness. Women's nature is more subtle and sensitive, but often girls go too far, taking offense at everything.
- Possessive position. A man in a relationship needs personal space and trust. Jealousy kills relationships.
- Obsessiveness. Endless calls and SMS scare the guy away and cause an instinctive desire to hide. He is unlikely to fall in love with an annoying girl.
- Sarcastic way of communicating. Endless jokes and snide remarks confuse a man. There is a high risk of inadvertently hurting your partner's feelings.
Eliminating these mistakes will improve the image of your partner in the eyes of a man and save the relationship.
A man and a woman often successfully establish interaction as colleagues and partners in business. With personal relationships everything is much more complicated. Differences in the perception of the world play a big role here. But the right approach and strong feelings can work wonders.
How should you never communicate with a man?
1) Never run after a man
Of course, at the beginning, many girls don’t run after men, everything happens the other way around - they run after you! But as soon as you have feelings and emotions, and a man for some reason begins to move away from you, then many girls begin to run after men. This should under no circumstances be done.
When you run after a man and try to please him, your importance begins to fall. He has no interest in developing communication with you in such a situation. Therefore, always know your worth and maintain your dignity. Of course, if you did something wrong in a relationship and the man began to move away, then you can apologize - there is nothing wrong with that. But if a man doesn’t want a relationship with you or somehow behaves coldly towards you, then you definitely shouldn’t run after him. With this behavior you will alienate him even more.
2) Don't hit his EGO
Girls - never hit a man's ego!
Remember men have huge EGOs
And God forbid you hurt the male EGO and pride. You will immediately turn into his enemy. This is especially true when it comes to his masculinity or the topic of sex. As soon as you hit his masculinity (for example, tell him that sex with him is not very good), then that’s it - consider that you have lost the man. And even if he treated you very well before, after you trample his male pride, there is no turning back.
On the contrary, you should “stroke” the male ego and tell him how great he is (just don’t overdo it, too much praise is also bad). He should feel like a super hero next to you, then your value will be very high. But once again, the situational context is very important. Because if you start praising a man and stroking his ego in a situation where his behavior towards you is simply terrible, then your value, on the contrary, will fall.
To understand when to praise and when to distance yourself from a man, remember the following rule:
- When a man behaves badly towards you, you move away, show him your disinterest in him, show him that he can lose you! Here you don't give him compliments or words of love. You are mirroring his behavior.
- And when a man behaves well with you (gives gifts, says compliments, takes care of you, etc.), then you show him your interest in him. You compliment him in return, thank him, express your sympathy, etc.
3) Ultimatums
Never give a man ultimatums!
“Either you spend the evening with me and not with your friends, or I won’t talk to you” is a classic ultimatum that can kill your relationship. The fact is that issuing ultimatums means taking a masculine position. It’s men who should give each other ultimatums in business, negotiations, etc., but not you. Remember the point about recognizing leadership. A man wants to be close to the girl who recognizes his strength. But when you give him ultimatums, you take the position of a strong man, and he stops seeing you as a woman.
If a man is strong, he will immediately dump you after you give him an ultimatum. And if a man is weak, then of course you will be able to bend him under you. But I strongly doubt that you are attracted to precisely such representatives of the stronger sex.
4) Negative Social proof
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Hello, this is Vadim, the author of the blog. Do you have a relationship problem? Fill out the form and sign up for a consultation - I will help!
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Social proof is translated into Russian as “Social proof”. This is how society, your environment, friends, colleagues, other men react to you.
If a man sees that your friends, parents, and those around you do not respect you, then your value in his eyes will fall. We humans are social creatures. We are biologically wired to depend on social opinion. In many ways, we determine the value of another person by how the people around them treat them. And if we see that others do not listen to his words and avoid communicating with him, then this person will not make a great impression on us.
But if we see a person who is respected by people, his opinion is listened to and he enjoys authority, then we automatically begin to distinguish this person from everyone else, and he seems more valuable to us. This is how our brains work.
Therefore, if a man sees that your girlfriend calls you “Fool” (and you don’t react to this in any way), then your value in the eyes of a normal man will begin to plummet. Therefore, never allow yourself to be disrespected. And this applies to absolutely all people, from friends to your boss. As soon as you hear disrespect addressed to you, stop it immediately.
A man must see that the group (or society) loves you. You are treated with respect, you are welcome everywhere and you have positive social proof.
The same goes for your popularity among other men. If you are surrounded by male attention and are in great demand, then many men automatically have a desire to get you. After all, you seem more valuable to them, since so much attention is focused on you. It means there is something about you that other girls don’t have.
How to behave so that he is afraid of losing you
Now you know how a girl should behave in a relationship. For him to be interested in you even after 20 years, you need to:
- take care of your spouse, children and home;
- pamper your loved one with delicious food, pleasant surprises, and activity in bed;
- do not depend on him financially, earn pocket money for your expenses;
- have a hobby;
- to be a reliable friend for your loved one who will never betray;
- be proud of him, praise him, admire him;
- remain attractive in any situation.
How to impress the guy you like?
In order for the guy you like to not only see you, but notice and remember you, you need to impress him. Don’t be afraid to engage in dialogue and, if necessary, challenge your point of view. It won’t look arrogant and defiant if you make smart arguments and are well versed in the topic of the conversation.
Simply put, you need to behave with the guy you like on an “equal basis”, then the opinion about you will immediately develop in a positive way. Hysterics, tears, stupid conversations or silence - all this alarms and pushes the guy away, even if he doesn’t show it.
