For what reasons does a husband not pay attention to his wife, and what to do in such a situation?

Svetlana 09/01/2015 Marriage and family relations, psychology of family relations, children, living arrangements Comments on the entry Disrespect from the husband: what to do? disabled 3,941 Views

Sooner or later, the candy-bouquet period in a couple’s life ends. And it happens that a loving and attentive husband begins to make unpleasant jokes, takes less account of his wife’s opinion, or even allows himself to be rude... It is important to understand: the collapse of a relationship begins with such “little things,” so you should never put up with such disrespect. However, there is no need to panic over the slightest offense or misunderstanding. It is important to distinguish between real disrespect and small misunderstandings that happen in the life of every couple.

• Causes
• A psychologist's view: why does the situation arise?
• How to make your husband remember respect?
• Is it possible to force it?

  Video. How to get your husband's respectful attitude back

Features of family relationships

A stable family is a complex process that requires attention, understanding, concessions, and compromises. Sometimes temporary difficulties arise in a couple when the spouses do not understand each other, do not see the obvious, and spoil the relationship on their own. There are situations when girls complain to a psychologist and say, my husband doesn’t pay enough attention to me. What to do in such a situation? First of all, you need to figure out why such misunderstandings arise and what provoked the deterioration of the condition.

READ How to improve relationships with your husband: analysis of situations and advice from a psychologist

Family relationships take a long time to build, but quickly collapse. To return the polite, understanding attitude of one of the spouses, you will also have to try. You should not assume that it is enough to buy lace lingerie, spend a rich, varied night with your husband, and the relationship will be improved. If the husband has stopped paying the necessary attention, is late at work, has changed his behavior, then he has reasons for this.

You need to deal with the reasons, but you shouldn’t do this every day, forcing your husband to have serious conversations. Believe me, in this situation you can only provoke worsening circumstances. From time to time, bring him into this conversation, come from afar. You shouldn’t put pressure, because male psychology is very different from female psychology, and it can be very difficult to understand.

Signs that a husband has stopped loving his wife:

▪️Irritability has appeared that was not there before. If the dissatisfaction is not related to fatigue from work and poor health, then the reason may be that your husband has begun to be nervous about your presence. Any little thing can be a reason for dissatisfaction: over-salted soup, dust on the windowsill, lack of clean socks and other household little things.

▪️If a man used to involve his spouse in decision-making, but now he has stopped doing so, then this should be alarming. In this case, there may be two reasons for such behavior - troubles that he is hiding about or a desire to show independence. In the second case, this means that his wife’s opinion no longer has value for him, just like the woman herself. Or he uses his business trips for dates on the side.

▪️One of the signs of lost love may be the lack of tactile contact from a man. He doesn’t hug or touch, although before it was natural. Of course, some husbands are stingy in showing feelings, but this character trait manifests itself immediately, but if the behavior changes, then you need to pay attention to other manifestations that were not there before. At the same time, a man may well allow himself to be kissed and hugged, but he does it detachedly, out of inertia, or not wanting to displease a woman.

▪️Detached behavior, indifference and isolation in a man who has cooled off is accompanied by an unwillingness to fulfill his wife’s requests, even small ones. If earlier he could present a flower, give some pleasant little thing as a surprise, or try to help in solving problems, but now this does not happen, then this behavior, more than other actions, indicates that the old feelings have faded away.

▪️Lack of care on the part of the husband during his wife’s illness, ignoring requests for help (for example, with a child), speaks of selfishness. However, if you knew that you were marrying a selfish person, then this behavior is quite common. But in serious cases, even an egoist is able to help his wife with housework, unlike someone who is indifferent to her.

▪️Loss of respect towards your spouse. Ridicule, bullying, offensive jokes, rudeness, violence, ridicule in front of friends and relatives - such behavior undoubtedly causes pain and suffering. It is quite understandable if a man simply takes his anger out on his wife and, subconsciously experiencing a feeling of guilt, tries to get rid of it in this way.

▪️If previously it was customary in the family to communicate, joke, tell jokes and funny stories, share the events of the past day, but now the husband avoids such conversations or perceives them without emotions - this is a bad sign.

▪️Not all husbands show jealousy, but if it was noticeable before, but now it’s not, such a change in behavior can mean a husband’s indifference to his wife.

▪️The most obvious sign is that the husband does not want intimacy with his wife. If it is not due to physiology, stress and fatigue, then the loss of desire may mean that he has found a way to satisfy his needs elsewhere.

▪️My husband no longer likes to spend time at home, stays late at work, and meets with friends. The main thing is that he avoids meetings and tries to spend as little time as possible with his family.

▪️When a husband speaks badly about his wife, it should be alarming. The natural desire of any male is to protect his partner. If he puts his wife under attack, literally and figuratively, then this means that she is not important to him as a woman, as a person and as a spouse.

The listed signs of a husband’s dislike for his wife most often appear in groups, several at once. The fact is that each of the actions individually may have a different reason, but the combination of several at once makes an unpleasant impression and looks like neglect.

The husband's behavior may change for the worse for other reasons:

• Difficulties with work;
• Deterioration of health;
• Nervous strain, shock, stress;
• Monotonous everyday life;
• Spouse's behavior.

Many men hide their problems until the last moment, trying to protect their spouse and family from the troubles that have befallen them.

If you suspect something, and a change in behavior alerts you, you need to find out the reason. We need to get my husband to talk. You can do this yourself or with the help of a family psychologist.

Possible reasons

Sometimes women complain that they do not have enough attention from their beloved husband; they want more from family life. There are many reasons why such misunderstandings arise. Changes in the husband’s behavior are observed immediately: he becomes inattentive, rude, and indifferent.

There are standard reasons that apply to any type of relationship:

• The man has another object for attention. It doesn’t have to be another woman, here we are talking about work, sports training, friends.
• Loss of sexual interest. Years of marriage lead to a loss of sexual desire, and the point is not at all that a woman loses her attractiveness. Men are polygamous creatures; they want new sensations, emotions, and variety in their sex life. By having a mistress, the husband devotes less time to his own wife, not only in communication, but also in sexual life.

READ How to understand that your husband has fallen out of love: characteristics of your spouse’s behavior

• Having a mistress. Mistresses are women who, under any circumstances, satisfy the sexual needs of their men. They are always beautiful, well-groomed, passionate. If the wife does not satisfy, avoids sex or variety in it, the man finds this consolation elsewhere. Only some husbands do this less often, others agree to stable meetings with another woman without destroying the family.

In addition to the above reasons for the husband’s inattention, one can note the coldness and indifference of the wife. Men also need constant attention and care. If they do not receive the right attitude, scandals, quarrels, and misunderstandings begin in the relationship.

Routine gets stuck

Monotony, lack of positive impressions, emotions - all this sooner or later forces a man to introduce new colors on his own. If a husband does not pay attention to his wife, this does not mean that he has a mistress. Perhaps the man is simply no longer interested in this, he does not receive proper inspiration from his wife, new emotions, he is tired of the routine, which is simply overwhelming.

In the presence of such a routine, the husband can walk around sad all the time, get hung up on work, find hobbies in sports or computer games that will cover everything that is boring. You can get rid of a boring life, you just need to understand what colors need to be added to make life really bright for both partners.

You need to organize holidays at home, cook delicious lunches or dinners, invite friends. You can also try to add variety to the entertainment program on the weekends. To do this, go to a movie, to a spa, or play in nature. Adding variety to your routine is not as difficult as it initially seems. It is precisely such actions that will improve the relationship between spouses and relieve monotony.

If there is another woman

Having a mistress or a temporary relationship with another girl is a common reason why a husband does not pay the necessary attention to his wife, stays late after work, and ignores gifts. Only those husbands who have little psychological or physiological satisfaction from their spouse have a mistress.

READ How to make your wife fall in love with you: advice from psychologists

Everyone can face the presence of a second woman in the family. The main thing is to ignore such an appearance, not to provoke the emergence of conflict situations, after which the husband can easily go to another woman for consolation. Psychologists say that wives themselves sometimes provoke their husbands to have a mistress who will always understand, listen, and satisfy sexual needs.

If a man starts a relationship on the side, family life can suddenly fall apart. In order to prevent what is undesirable in this situation, it is worth talking frankly with your husband, making sure that the family is not an empty place for him. Perhaps, after this situation is clarified, the woman will look at the relationship differently, reconsider her behavior, and be able to find common ground with her husband.

Absolute control is a grave mistake

If your husband has stopped paying attention to you, think about how much freedom you give him, whether he feels like a free person who has the right to rest without his wife. Receiving such freedom, a man will independently distribute his time and not depend on his wife’s wishes.

Of course, if he needs such “freedom” every day, there is no future for the relationship. It is considered normal to meet with friends once a week, discuss all important issues, and spend time without family. Control or scandals will always aggravate the situation, destroy relationships, and make the wife feel inferior.

When the cause is the woman herself

Some wives don’t even think that the real reason for the lack of attention and the appearance of mistresses is only in themselves. An unkempt appearance, insufficient attention to the spouse, constant work in the evenings - all this makes the husband feel unnecessary. As a result of this, the relationship deteriorates, and wives have questions: why does their loved one stay late at work, and what to do if the husband does not pay attention to his wife, devoting time to other women.

In this situation, we can also say about the lack of psychological support for the spouse. If a man is satisfied with everything in a relationship, he receives due attention, affection, care, then the thought of leaving for another woman or taking a temporary mistress is unlikely to arise in his head.

How to understand that your husband does not love you?

Women often have very developed intuition and they can feel that a man has not just grown cold, but has completely lost interest in married life. How do you understand that your husband doesn’t love you and doesn’t need you? Advice from psychologists will help you understand the behavior of men.

One of the important questions that women ask at an appointment with a specialist is: if a man stops loving, how does he behave? The answer may surprise you.

Of course, often a man shows a cold attitude and avoids close communication with the once beloved woman, but sometimes the opposite happens. The husband suddenly begins to shower flowers and perform whims, after a long break, as if he is trying to make amends.

Such unexpected and unusual generosity should be no less alarming than coldness on the part of a man.

Having fallen in love or having an affair on the side, some adult men behave like naughty boys and subconsciously strive to appease a woman. That is why they can behave unexpectedly in the current situation and the woman has the illusion that everything is fine with the relationship, although in reality this is not the case at all. But let's talk about everything in order.

If a husband does not love his wife, signs of his behavior can reveal the real emotions that he is currently experiencing towards his wife. And this is not necessarily a demonstrative indifference of a husband to his wife.

Men are capable of creating the appearance of normal relationships, but if you observe and analyze some actions, you can get to the truth. Women have a sharp mind and are able to guess things that would never even occur to men because of their natural straightforwardness.

What is love?

How to correctly determine the cause

Many women say: “My husband has stopped paying the attention I need to me, and I can’t even understand what the reason is.” It is rarely possible to establish the cause on your own; to do this, you should talk with your spouse frankly, try to find out what is happening between them, why the contact, the close connection was broken. A strong man always admits that he has a mistress, that the relationship has reached a dead end, and that he wants new sensations.

If the mistress is absent, the husband can reprimand his wife about her appearance, excess weight, or lack of self-care.

If you receive such complaints against you, it means that everything really is so, you need to work on yourself, return respect, love, and attention to your husband.

What is better not to do if your husband has lost his temper?

Is the saying “all's fair in war” true when it comes to family battles? What about cooling off the spouses? There are several actions that can make a difficult situation worse or more confusing.

1. Blackmail. Women are cunning creatures; they can persuade or threaten anything. Love, respect, trust are unlikely to return only from under the stick.
2. Non-existent pregnancy. How else can you stun a man if you don’t achieve what you want? Pregnancy! Even imaginary. Girls do this, unfortunately, without thinking about what will happen if the truth is revealed?
3. Involve third parties. Is it worth putting family and friends in an awkward position? Advice to spouses is often one-sided, as well-wishers have a distorted view of your problem.
4. Denying sex out of revenge. It is unlikely that the husband will start looking for another woman the next day, but if he constantly refuses, he can find one who will not reject him.
5. Saying “I don’t like.” In general, you can only say such words if you really disagree. What is said in anger leaves its mark.

Read 15 best books about relationship psychology

Before deciding what to do if your husband has lost his temper, you should think about the consequences of your actions. Don’t forget about the goal: you want love, restore your old relationship, then the solution methods must match.

What can be done

Any situation can easily be changed and improved if the partners want it. You can improve relationships and regain your former passion in any situation, the main thing is to know how to do it correctly.

READ My husband and I argue every day: what to do to improve family relationships

Change priorities

If a woman spends a lot of time at work, avoids meeting a man, and does not pay enough attention to her family, the relationship can quickly collapse, even if there is mutual love.

In order not to provoke a relationship breakdown through your own actions, you should try to change the priorities in your life. Always put your husband first, and only then children, work, personal hobbies. Men always need to receive maximum attention and care, only in this case will they feel happy and needed.

Chat with friends

Focusing on your problems, closing yourself off, and dramatizing the situation is not the answer. Friends are sometimes the best psychologists with whom you can talk, solve all family problems, and hear answers to questions.

Spend more time in the company, show the man that you are developing, you have a social circle. When your spouse sees that you are having a good time without him and have proper support, he will definitely change his attention, return, and contribute to improving the state of the relationship.

Get distracted

Going in for sports, enrolling in dancing or courses to improve development is the best option for women who want to change their attitude towards themselves and save their family. Such manipulations always help to adjust to a new, favorable wave, to receive only positive emotions from life, and not to get hung up on problems.

Men love active women who develop, take care of themselves, and strive for something more. If you constantly sit at home, watch TV series, degrade, cook dinner for your husband, respect for you and good attitude will sooner or later develop into indifference and indifference, you need to remember this.

In what situations should you not continue a relationship?

There are situations in which you need to save not relationships, but yourself.

1. Physical violence. If your husband hits you, this will not be the last time. Domestic murders are often unintentional, but unfortunately they do happen.
2. Psychological abuse. Your husband humiliates you, offends you, insults you because he feels superior or wants revenge. In such relationships, you receive love in doses or fluctuations, the question is, is it love or neurosis?
3. Your husband lives with an addiction, poisons your life and is not going to do anything about it. He is a slave of habit and cannot love himself, you children.
4. If your husband has grown cold, says he doesn’t love you, doesn’t want you, doesn’t see you together in the future. Do I need to comment?..

When there are children in a family, it is difficult to separate. But if they see assault, unworthy behavior of parents, indifference or constant scandals, this will be imprinted on their subconscious as the norm.

It is important for a child that mom and dad are happy and love each other. If a husband has lost interest in his wife and nothing can be fixed, it is better to separate. In this situation, I recommend reading the article - How to decide to divorce your husband.

How to make yourself noticed again: useful tips

Every woman deserves attention, but few of them really do everything for it. To get your husband to pay attention to you again, you need to work on yourself.

Psychologists give several recommendations that will really help:

• pay more attention to yourself;
• workout;
• find a hobby you like;
• take care of facial beauty and hair;
• communicate with friends;
• always be active.

Only confident and self-sufficient women will never be limited by male attention. Work on your relationships and they will always evoke only positive emotions.

A psychologist's view: why does the situation arise?

If disrespect on the part of the husband did not appear at the beginning of their life together, but over time, psychologists advise the woman to look for the reasons for such behavior in her own actions . Rudeness, insults and other manifestations of aggression can simply be a way of protection for a man. Perhaps this is how he is trying to protect himself from reproaches, lectures, or his wife’s too persistent desire to become a “second mother.” Often, disrespect and physical violence on the part of the husband are preceded by psychological violence on the part of the wife.

On the other hand, a husband can show disrespect because he senses his wife’s vulnerability and dependence. For example, when a woman is on maternity leave to care for a child, her husband reproaches her for the fact that he is the only breadwinner in the family. In this case, there are several possible ways to influence your husband.

Why does a man treat a woman badly? Or How to get respect?

So, why do men treat some women very well and blow away dust from them, help around the house, endure hysterics, say kind words, take care of them, about their children together, etc.? Do they treat other women like servants? They do absolutely nothing around the house and get irritated when something is not done because the woman is sick or busy. They do not support or listen to a woman, but only talk about their needs for hours. They do not organize a joint holiday, but only take advantage of what the woman is doing, or go out with friends to drink beer, leaving the woman alone, if everything is not organized by her. They don’t help raise children or do it at the bare minimum. Often they abandon such a woman and do not help either in raising the child, or financially (they pay the bare minimum of alimony from the white part of the salary, for example), or take part in the upbringing. (Not all the signs have to be present to say that a man is treating a woman badly.)

Why do men treat some women well and others badly? And how can a woman achieve respect from a man? Women often come to me with such questions during Consultations .

So let's first look at why this happens.?

Maybe it's a matter of appearance? But among those whom men treat poorly, there are many beautiful and pretty women.

Maybe it's a matter of mental abilities and upbringing? I also didn’t notice any particular connection. Rather, among smart and intelligent women, the percentage of whom men treat poorly is even slightly higher.

Then what's the matter?

The first is meeting a completely unsuitable man.

As a rule, most women themselves “educate” men to such a state that they begin to behave completely bestially. I would say more , the vast majority of women raise men to a completely indecent state. Including pity for men. Read about this in the article “Pity for a man is the biggest mistake women make.” And two chapters on the topic of pity for a man, how men know how to “put pressure” on pity and manipulate women, read in the book “12 Secrets of Managing Men. Or How to Tame the Shrew."

But still, some seem to be looking for men who are obviously “goats.” From them it rushes in all directions. It is impossible not to see this. After all, such a “man” already at the stage of meetings behaves like a complete pig. Read about how to recognize an abuser HERE.

For example, he is regularly late for first dates. He comes to a date without at least one flower. What does it mean to come on a date? He even tries not to go on a date, but to call a woman on the phone so that she comes to his cafe or even to his house, and then goes home herself in a taxi, for example, for her own money.

He, of course, does not give anything to his woman and is not even particularly grateful for the gifts that the woman gives him and for the help that she provides him.

That is, the man was late for the first date, without calling that he was delayed, came without flowers, did not accompany him home (or did not arrange a taxi), tried to hold the date closer to his house (and the woman had to go across the whole city), almost through For 10 minutes he began to let his hands go and, having got drunk, told some stupid stories to the whole cafe. Then it turns out that he “forgot” the money at home and the girl paid for two. (Not all signs are necessary, of course, to conclude that a man is unsuitable).

And so the woman begins to date further with such a man! There are different men around. But no, they start dating a known “goat” in the hope of either a miracle, or the ability to transform such individuals into wonderful husbands, or simply out of ignorance of the basic signs of bad men. “23 Mistakes with Men” about how to distinguish manipulators, home-grown Don Juans, psychopaths and the like .

All this is sometimes justified by the fact that “I fell in love.” But falling in love can be controlled to a certain extent and there is no need to fall in love with a natural beast. And then the first date, the second, then another and another and it drags on. Such a goat man acts as a goat more and more, and the woman becomes more and more involved in him and his problems. He begins to “save, help, support, sacrifice himself and his interests,” etc.

Yes, you will not be able to re-educate him and even live normally with him if you put up with his assholery. If he is like this right away, then your life with him in the future is patience, humiliation, scandals, and the result is still a divorce. And surprisingly, more often on the initiative of such a man. For information on how to survive a divorce, read the article . ”

So, take a close look at who you are going to date. A lot can be seen from his profile (if you meet via the Internet), from his manner of communication, conversations, etc. More often, the essence of a man comes out of him so much that I am simply surprised how much a woman needs to close herself off from incoming information in order to communicate with such a man. The man himself shows his assholery every day. Your friends and acquaintances may tell you about this. And don't tell me that you fell in love again :).

In the article I did not describe all types of unsuitable men. It is also advisable to avoid extremely infantile, psychopaths, home-grown Don Juans, etc., who together make up 15-20 percent of all men.

Confident women will never date an unsuitable man for long. Therefore, she obviously protects herself from a bunch of insoluble problems. Take them as an example.

The second option, in my opinion, is more common - raising a man who begins to treat a woman badly.

I’ll say right away that not every man can be forced to treat a woman badly. And then, when you try to “educate” him, he simply leaves.

Here you can derive a small rule. If a man, after each date and over the long term of several years, behaves on average better and better, shows more respect for the woman, etc., then his upbringing is going in the right direction.

If, on the contrary, a man behaves worse and worse with each date and with each year of marriage, then he is raised by a woman, accordingly, he becomes worse and worse and begins to treat the woman badly . To learn how to take men to the next level and have them at your feet, read my free e-book, Men at Your Feet.

So, why does a man start treating a woman badly??

Before I start, I still want to write a short digression, in which I will repeat a little of what I wrote above. In my life I have probably encountered hundreds of families and several hundred pairs of men and women. (Where directly, where are relatives, where is training and consultations, where they talked about friends, etc.) And I realized that there is one rule. There is a type of woman with whom no man behaves badly. (or, more precisely, she rarely does this, then she regrets it and tries to improve the situation) Some women get divorced (if their husband begins to treat them badly) and remarry. And yet men respect them.

There is another type of woman. Every man treats a woman disgustingly. Then another man, a third, marriage, second marriage and everything is repeated the same way with different variations.

What is the main difference in the behavior of these two types of women?

A man treats women who don’t bully him badly. A man treats women who harass him well .

This is a simple and very working rule. Be sure to watch the video on this topic

It’s difficult for me to find another word that would fully reflect the meaning of what needs to be done with men, so I will try to decipher its meaning.

By the word “make a fuss” I don’t mean make a scandal, although sometimes it is necessary. Just a scandal is not the best way to educate men. In addition, do not forget that the human psyche is trained and if you often make scandals, then after some time you will no longer be able to live without them. They will appear on their own.

By the word bully, I do not necessarily mean criticism of a man or dissatisfaction with his actions. (although this may be, but not the main thing and not the goal) Criticism can also quite quickly turn into a very bad habit. Dissatisfaction with everything a man does, no matter how hard he tries, is the shortest path to breaking up with him.

By the word rubbish, I do not mean ridiculing some of a man’s character traits, appearance or weaknesses. This can also take place during the process of rustling, but it is not at all necessary.

By the word rant, I don’t necessarily mean any kind of conflict at all or even an outright demand.

Then what? So, a couple of examples of how to jerk.

The first example of whining is simply asking for something simple..

Instead of completely cooking dinner yourself, ask your man to go grocery shopping, clean something, take out the trash, and do something simple. As a rule, a man, if you haven’t spoiled him at all, with or without pleasure (it doesn’t matter), will help you.

Everything seems very simple. (Even if he does something wrong, there is no need to criticize him too much) You worked less and you do not accumulate dissatisfaction with the fact that the man does nothing, and you do everything. A man gets used to helping you and this, at least a little, strengthens the relationship. After all, joint activities bring men and women closer together. (I even wrote an article about this somewhere)

I am writing about the fact that such behavior should occur every day and most importantly not only in cooking, but in all areas of life. (It is clear that gradualism is needed).

The second example of crap is to demand gratitude.

Again, the example of cooking, not because this topic is the best, but because such examples are understandable to everyone. Think about how to apply them in other areas of life. It's not that difficult.

Let's say you have prepared something. The man eats silently and doesn’t say anything, although it may be a dish that you put a lot of effort into (it doesn’t matter, it could be an ordinary dish). You look at him carefully and affectionately :) and ask: “Why are you silent?” and some time after he looked up from the plate or even mumbled something in response, you ask: “Didn’t you like it? If you don’t like it, then let’s start cooking it yourself, and I’ll help you. If you like it, then didn’t your parents teach you to say thank you?” .

It goes without saying that the intonation of these words should be appropriate. You shouldn’t beg him for praise about how delicious the dish is, and if he doesn’t praise you, then cry and fall into depression :). Of course not. There is no need to make a scandal in this situation. The goal is for a man to learn to appreciate your work and efforts, and not take them for granted.

Naturally, he should value not only and not so much cooking, despite the fact that I gave this example. He should appreciate your support, the fact that you listened to him, that you communicate with people who are not very pleasant for you, that you help him do something at work (for example, plan or organize something), etc.

That is, you need to tell the man that you are doing something only to please the man, this is difficult and requires at least gratitude. (Let’s say that you are communicating with his mother. You are not doing this out of pleasure, but a man just needs it).

The third example of crap is to adjust a man’s self-esteem.

This can be a painful process. And a man often perceives correction of self-esteem as cruel criticism (although this is not so). But you need to understand that if a woman’s goal is criticism, from which she gets some pleasure, or it is a habit, then this is the destruction of the relationship. In this case we are talking about something else.

A man often thinks about himself that is completely different from what he really is. And strangers can see this very clearly.

For example, a man believes that he is just a wonderful lover, that he does more housework than a woman, that he works very well, but is simply not appreciated, etc. But in fact, he is a disgusting lover, does little around the house and only when reminded, works very poorly, etc.

Living with inadequate self-esteem is often difficult for a person. He is haunted by failures in principle in life or in some part of it. It can also be difficult for a woman to be with such a man.

Therefore, sometimes it is useful to adjust a man’s self-esteem. Usually such a correction is needed in the direction of reduction (although in some things it may be the other way around). Here you are simply telling a man about who he really is, and not what he thinks about himself.

Often a woman is dissatisfied with a man, but keeps it to herself and remains silent for fear of a scandal or something else.

Do not do this. Tell the man what he really is. Maybe you don’t need to say everything all at once, but gradually. Maybe somewhere you just need to ask a man to do something and he will do it, maybe you need to criticize a little, maybe something else.

For example, a man thinks that he is a wonderful worker, but all his bosses do not appreciate him and do not pay him. In general, a man’s harmless opinion about himself, if he is not going to seek a salary increase, career growth, open his own business, and if he does not actively disseminate this opinion among his colleagues.

But if he wants to earn more, then by definition, he does not know how to work effectively, learn what is needed, convince people and show the results of his work, and perhaps something else. And with such an inflated self-esteem as he has, he naturally will not move forward. What for? After all, he already works well and is simply not appreciated.

And then the woman simply says to him: “Don’t tell me that your boss is criticizing you. After all, you simply don’t know how to work and you should be grateful to him that he hasn’t kicked you out yet.” And so on with examples and then, preferably, with what needs to be done.

It's the same in sex. If a man does not satisfy you as a lover, but considers himself a super-lover, then tell him: “Who told you that? You don't know how to satisfy a woman. I want you to learn how to excite me and for sex to be so-and-so” - for more information about what is important for men in sex and how to make a man become a better lover, read the book “Men’s Deepest Secrets and secrets .

So, to correct a man’s self-esteem is to tell him what he really is. A man often perceives this as criticism or undeserved praise (if he needs to improve his self-esteem). But your task is to gradually tell and tell what he really is.

Naturally, you need to start with what you need from a man first of all, and not with what a man needs.

The fourth example of crap is denying a man something important to him..

Here you are doing something for a man that takes a lot of your time, attention and energy. But the man doesn’t appreciate this. (Maybe this is not really important to him)

And then, at some point, you deprive him of some part of the bonuses or all the bonuses.

The most powerful example, which I generally don’t particularly recommend using often, or at all, is to kick a man out so that he can come to his senses at least a little. Almost any woman should be willing to do this. (Ready does not mean what to actually do)

But even without this, there are a lot of ways to make a man feel that a woman’s support, her care, etc. – this is not something that goes without saying. You need to fight for this, you need to pay for it with mutual support, help , etc.

That is, if something does not suit you in a man’s behavior, then remove something from your support, housework, etc.

The first rule for applying this rule. Of course, say what you are doing and why, otherwise the man will understand absolutely nothing.

Second rule . Do not remove something from your support for a long time, otherwise the man will somehow begin to adapt to living without you.

Above I cited the two biggest mistakes in using this technique. Reread them as they are important.

And here you will see what a man really values, and what you spend a lot of time on, but it is not so important to him or is not needed at all.

For example, you stop cooking. You think that a man without your cooking will now climb the wall and come running to beg your forgiveness. May be so. Or maybe vice versa. He will gladly buy himself bread and sausage or eat somewhere in the canteen. This means the man doesn’t really appreciate your cooking. The conclusion is obvious. Spend less time on it. Feed him simple meals that do not require much effort.

Or vice versa. You think that when you listen carefully to a man, laughing and hugging him a little - this is not very important for a man, then you may be very mistaken. All you have to do is not do this and the man will be deprived of something really important to him.

Men here are different. Therefore, you need to try different methods of influence. That is, deprive him of something important (in your opinion) for a while and explain why you did it. (for example, if you are offended and remain silent)

Very quickly you will figure out what is really important for a man and what you only think is important for a man.

Many women are masters of this technique, and this alone makes their life with men much easier. (If you add selection and the rest, then in general everything will be fine).

Let's summarize. Why do men treat women badly? Because a woman doesn’t know how, doesn’t want to, is afraid, considers it unnecessary to bully a man. Dragging is a complex skill that I described above. Drill a man and he will definitely respect you more.

And, of course, vice versa. If you don’t bully a man, but pamper him, feel sorry for him, show excessive initiative, remain silent about your needs, then I assure you that after a while he will treat you very badly.

Try it and I'm sure you will succeed.

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The main reasons why a husband lost interest in his wife

As many married couples exist, there may be so many reasons why the relationship between husband and wife loses its spice and attractiveness and becomes gray and mundane. Each situation is individual and cannot become the object of statistics. True, the experience of previous generations suggests that there are still basic “risk factors” due to which a man loses his former feelings for his wife.

• Everyday problems.

The phrase “The family boat crashed into everyday life” is familiar to many. This is the most common reason for regular arguments between husband and wife. Arrangement of a common life erases from memory romantic meetings, secret dates at the dawn of a relationship. It turns out that to have a beautiful hairstyle, you need to wear curlers all day, and your complexion is ensured by a clay mask that looks completely unpresentable. Over time, these nuances begin to irritate a married man, and he increasingly pays attention to attractive young ladies, in comparison with whom his wife clearly loses.

• Ordinary.

Romantic dates, joint trips to the theater, movies each time opened up a new facet of your personality for your future spouse, sometimes completely unpredictable, which was what attracted you. Now he knows that nothing unusual can be expected, his wife is close at hand, the novelty of sensations disappears, and along with it the romance goes away. It turns out that it was you who created this situation by ceasing to add variety to your relationship.

• Lack of interest.

For many women, the transition to wife status means a complete abandonment of their past life. Giving all of yourself to building a family nest, you give up your hobbies, don’t communicate with friends, don’t go out. A woman fixated on one topic ceases to interest a man, he becomes bored, and the relationship gradually collapses.

• Homely appearance.

The first thing a man pays attention to is his attractive appearance. He fell in love with his future wife because before his eyes there was a charming beauty in a tight skirt or fashionable jeans, always with bright makeup and high heels. Thinking that there is no need to attract anyone else, the wife moves away from this image, preferring comfort and convenience, and believes that her husband will not notice this. However, the answer to the question of why a husband grows cold towards his wife lies precisely in the woman’s behavior.