New job - new life. And this means that you will have to gain authority in the team again. Respect for employees does not come naturally. We must try to ensure that the team accepts the newcomer - or, what is even more difficult, to recognize him as an unspoken leader.
COLADY will tell you how to make people respect you.
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Rule No. 1. Respect other people's values
Remember the phrase “Do you respect me?” from a famous movie? It’s great when you are valued and respected, but for this to happen in real life, you need to learn to respect others, although this is sometimes not easy.
In each cell of society, values can be different. And if you come to an established team and immediately decide to change the foundations and rules that have been established over the years, then in their eyes you will become a villain who has encroached on the sacred. You wouldn't like it either if your favorite things were rearranged in a different order because someone thought they were not in feng shui order. Do not reject the values and practices of the collective, otherwise the collective will reject you.
Therefore, it is useful to take a closer look at what habits, rules, and values are in the team in which you need to gain support and respect. And then people will not perceive you with hostility, since you do not violate their usual way of life.
Commentary by social psychologist Alena Dubinets
To earn respect in a team, you need to behave with dignity. This is a banal phrase, but very meaningful. My recommendations:
- Always say hello to your work colleagues.
- Don't ignore them.
- Listen to your colleagues when they talk about their work failures, but don't let them violate your boundaries.
- Always take care of your appearance.
- Don't let your work colleagues bully you in any way. React to rudeness and rudeness with dignity.
- Never complain to your superiors about your colleagues, or don’t mention specific names.
- Support your colleagues when they need it.
The main recommendation is to be humane and competent.
How did you achieve respect in the team? Tell us in the comments!
Rule #3 Offer goodies for the community
We are not talking about buns with jam. It's about what value you can offer to this community. Perhaps you know how to do something great and this can interest people. They will be drawn to you if you use your talent to help them in some way.
Think about what you can offer people so that your value as an individual increases significantly. Assess what the team needs and offer it. Naturally, the proposal should not be in an intrusive form and the team should really need it. You can even artificially create a small “scarcity” of your “yummy” to increase its desirability for people. And make sure that your help is not abused and that they do not sit on your neck.
Slander and rumors
I joined a new team and tried to do my job well. The boss began to praise often. With verbal encouragement, he gave rise to gossip. At one point, rumors spread that I was sleeping with him. — Alice, marketer
In such a situation, you should not run to your boss for help. The situation could get heated.
Try to find the main instigator. Find out what prompted him to such conclusions. Invite them for a cup of coffee and tell them that sometimes it’s difficult for you too. Ask for help with a task. In general, do everything to melt the intriguer’s heart.
Never speak badly about your boss - this will not improve the situation.
Rule No. 4. Have your own position
This does not mean that you need to sabotage someone else's established system. This means that you have your own position. Don't do something you don't like for the sake of liking it.
You can say that you respect someone else's point of view, but still remain with your own opinion. You have every right to do this. People who have their own “core” command respect. They see that you don't bend over backwards to make yourself comfortable for everyone, and they begin to appreciate you for it.
But you shouldn’t do this in an aggressive manner, otherwise you will make the mistakes we talked about above. Your task is to politely make it clear that although you respect other people’s opinions, you still have your own point of view. This is a tribute to myself. If you respect your values, others will respect them too.
Elena Mine 08/20/2019, 20:13
Piscis primum a capite foetat
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XX 08/20/2019, 21:57
Congratulations! You're cool. Let's remember ancient traditions - A man caught a goldfish. The goldfish says: “Ask for what you want, but know that your neighbor will receive 2 times more.” The man thought and thought: “If you ask for a house, the neighbor will have 2 of them, if you ask for a lot of money, the neighbor will be twice as rich, it’s not the same...” Suddenly it dawned on the man and he decided: “Goldfish, gouge out one of my eyes.” Thieves don't come to an empty house. Why were you showing off - look, the boss is a toad or a crocodile - are they beautiful and happy? Everyone has grief and misfortune - the world is bad, children are parasites, and your photos on the seas and their faces glow. Why didn’t you come to the corporate party to drink and didn’t applaud the bad striptease of drunken women? We went to the theater. Now look carefully, listen and decide for yourself whether you want to become like this - a whining and envious mold, willing to work for the mold. Or, well, those... Keep in mind. There will be revenge.
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Elena Chaika 03/04/2020, 10:16
Super) to the point)
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Mikhail Rikhtar 08.20.2019, 22:21
Everything is correct, the outcasts are the leaders. The heart of gold “quiet water - rowing in the ditch.”
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Oleg Ivanchenko 08/20/2019, 22:37
One of the listed “symptoms” is enough to leave without looking back. And this, by the way, is the only correct decision, as for me.
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Yana Petrenko 08/21/2019, 09:33
I support
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Elena Chaika 03/04/2020, 10:18
And, moreover, go to a higher salary, to a top position! Let them envy)))
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Lyudmila Nakonechnaya 08.20.2019, 23:40
if you're tired of sending me job vacancies, that's your right.
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Alexey Bosyuk 08/21/2019, 08:32
Pha, who cares what idiots think? Did they hire you? No. And they are not the ones paying you. The only option to pay attention to this is if you are directly harmed. Then either the director will give them [obscene language seen by the Work.ua moderator], or they will quit. And so let them cackle.
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Victor Plynov 08/21/2019, 09:55
“You absolutely love your job...” Have you tried unloading the cars manually? Should I raise the barrier manually at the entrance?
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Victor Plynov 08/21/2019, 10:00
I suggest that office workers remember what they looked like before the New Year’s corporate party and what they looked like after. “They like it, they don’t like it...” They also talk about “competition” afterwards. If only everyone loved everyone, heaven would come.
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Igor Gavrylyshyn 08/21/2019, 10:39
Actually, because of such bestiality and bullying, especially in the USA, where such bestiality is highly developed at work and in schools, shooters arise who kill everyone indiscriminately with small arms. So let your colleagues mock and put pressure on you, but always remember that The steepness of the target does not affect the trajectory of the bullet.
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Ekaterina Yurkova 08.21.2019, 13:39
Do I need 100 dollars for everyone to love me? I don't go to work for love. The main thing is that loved ones and family love, and everyone else... This...
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Svetlana Tishchenko 08/21/2019, 19:03
If it is not possible to find another job, you need to look for a way out of the current situation. Look at yourself from the outside, maybe you are doing something wrong. After all, everyone can’t dislike you for no reason. Let it be not love, but respect that can always be won. The main thing is to understand the reason why you became an outcast. Basically, everything depends on you and your desire to work in this organization. It’s not a fact that the other one will be better.
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Anna Tsira 08/21/2019, 20:29
The theory of what you can think of... The article is provocative for humanity. The benefits of rebirth or is there really a stink? No one is forced to give a fuck, everything is quite casual. And why are the rights and freedom prescribed to us, which allow us to have a different field of activity? The situation described is similar to corruption. Are there any chances of rehabilitation? Nobody protects informal meetings, but you can regulate them so that it doesn’t matter to you.
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Victor Plynov 08/22/2019, 08:39
Why does a person get hired? For the sake of earnings and career? Is the employer interested in employees competing with each other? Or are people hired to “establish personal relationships”? Different people will answer these questions differently. How will you, as an employee, feel about yesterday’s comrade who received a promotion and became your boss? It is impossible to fit the motives of a person’s actions into a certain pattern. Also, do not forget about certain historical, cultural and other aspects when discussing this topic. In another country, legal proceedings may be initiated against you for looking at a female colleague with excessive interest, for example.
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Victor Plynov 08/22/2019, 08:45
Some people love Stalin. They say he was a soul man. And a fair leader.
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Rule No. 5. Maintain subordination, exclude familiarity
What does it mean? This means that familiarity is not always appropriate with everyone. If, for example, you got a job and on your first day of work you show up to the director with an offer to drink beer in the evening, then don’t be surprised if they ask you out the door.
Perhaps over time, such behavior will be absolutely normal, but while you are new, while you are just joining the team, pay tribute to those in a significant position. There must be an adequate line: there is no need to curry favor with the powers that be, but also do not allow yourself to communicate familiarly with people you barely know.
How to make your co-workers respect you
Be a professional
The first way to earn the respect of your colleagues is to prove your professionalism. This is the main and indisputable condition. You can be a charming person, an excellent listener, a witty conversationalist, sensitive, loyal and helpful, but if at the same time you do not know the basics of your business, are confused in terms, do not understand basic things and demonstrate incompetence, you are unlikely to deserve due respect. Of course, they will be willing to go out with you for a smoke break or coffee, to discuss some news, but when it comes to business, they will not consult you and will not listen to your opinion. And you shouldn’t be offended here, because, as you know, being a good person is not a profession.
Knowledge
It would be worth remembering this for young people who are still studying and whose professional successes are yet to come. During your student years, you want to do everything, go everywhere, try everything. And how often this happens to the detriment of learning. I just want to tell them all: study while your memory is good and your head is clear, before you are overwhelmed by household chores and crushed by routine. Knowledge in one’s specialty and general development are the baggage that will allow one to take a worthy place in society in the future.
Experience
However, knowledge is not everything. As you know, they need to be multiplied by work experience. You become a professional through hard daily work. Be willing to be a hardworking bee or a stubborn ant and you will earn respect.
Ability to take criticism
But professionalism implies not only a set of knowledge and skills, but also certain qualities. For example, the ability to correctly accept criticism and listen to other people’s words. And at the same time, don’t get into the bottle, don’t feel wounded. It is known: only those who do nothing make no mistakes.
Therefore, you need to learn to accept critical comments with gratitude. They are not aimed at humiliating you, but at helping you come to a constructive decision. Meanwhile, people with whom you can openly share your opinion without fear of running into offense or arrogance are truly respected.
Respect others
In order to achieve self-respect, you need to treat other people with respect. In fact, it’s common to learn this from an early age, in the family. What does it mean to show respect? This means being educated. Listen carefully to the interlocutor, do not interrupt him, show tact and correctness, do not get into his soul, be grateful for the help.
If you constantly encounter disrespect, analyze your actions. Perhaps you also allow yourself to do something similar in relation to others. And others simply “mirror” your behavior.
Responsibility
For example, they do not keep their word, do not fulfill their promise. This means that you also allow yourself to promise and not fulfill, which means that you are irresponsible, you also cannot be relied on. In a relationship, everything is interconnected. How you treat others is what you get in return.
Discipline
And further. There are things that cannot be allowed to go unpunished. For example, being late for work. Many employees perceive this as a sign of disrespect. It’s difficult for everyone to get up in the morning, everyone gets stuck in traffic jams or waits for a long time for public transport, but some are late and some are not. Because he understands that work requires discipline, and will get up half an hour earlier in order to have time to get ready and arrive on time.
Respect yourself
If you lack self-respect, then it is strange to expect others to treat you with respect. Everything is interconnected here. When does a person respect himself? Again, when he acts in a certain way, he exhibits certain qualities.
Self-education
Can someone who envies someone else's success respect themselves? A fan of collecting and spreading gossip? And the one who is picking on his colleague? What about the sneaker and informer? And the one who subserviently to his superiors? I think the answer is clear: no, of course not. Because such people are quite clearly aware of their own vices and no matter how they justify their behavior in their own eyes, they understand perfectly well that they are doing wrong.
Conclusion: Self-esteem depends on your actions and feelings. So don’t let yourself down, don’t let bad inclinations take over. Engage in self-education, eradicate bad character traits in yourself. And then you, and therefore others, will have a reason to treat you with respect.
Own opinion
Another characteristic feature of a self-respecting person is that he is not afraid to defend his beliefs. He does not agree with his superiors, does not agree with everyone, just so as not to spoil the relationship. But he does it intelligently, politely, in a non-offensive manner. Moreover, such an employee cannot be called conflict-ridden. This is not conflict, but the desire to always get to the point.
Self-sufficiency
In general, a self-respecting person can afford a lot. Sometimes it’s to go against the grain, to be different from everyone else. He is not afraid to stand out because he feels self-sufficient. He came into his own as a person. And such people are respected and given the right to be themselves.
Here's an example. Probably at all workplaces there is a tradition of celebrating employees’ birthdays. Not everyone likes it: firstly, it’s expensive, and secondly, it’s somehow strange to celebrate such, one might say, an intimate holiday with people whom, by and large, you brought together by chance. But rarely does anyone dare to express their own attitude to the generally accepted.
So, I know a young man who was not afraid to stick to his line and refuse to participate in joint feasts. For several years, particularly zealous employees tried to congratulate him. He listened gratefully to congratulations, but resolutely refused envelopes with money and did not cover the “clearing.” For several years he had to prove his right to do as he saw fit, until they finally left him behind.
Do you think he has become an outcast in the team, a black sheep? Nothing like this. Because he is a self-sufficient person, and also a professional.
Appearance
Respect for oneself - and for others - is also manifested in the way a person looks. Neatness, neatness, compliance with the dress code are things that are not discussed... After all, carelessness in clothing can be perceived as a disdainful attitude towards colleagues. I think things like cleanliness are not worth mentioning at all.
Causing harm to health - bullying
Bullying is a more severe form of mobbing. The victim experiences real psychological terror and emotional pressure. In some cases may cause physical harm
Sometimes people who are bullied reach a mentally unstable state and an inadequate perception of reality. This is how suicides or mass shootings happen (for example, in educational institutions).
If you feel that mobbing at work has become downright aggressive, contact your superiors. Or urgently change your job. Remember - health is most important.
Don't rush to get closer
This rule is very “vital”, applicable to any area of relationships - from personal to work. When joining a new company, many people become too close to people who show interest in them. I would say that this is a rather hasty step. It always takes time to figure out “who is who.” Your new comrade may well turn out to be an outsider or an outcast, an employee with a very controversial reputation who is looking for allies. Your unformed reputation may be ruined from the very beginning. Therefore, you should first take a closer look at the employees and understand who plays what role in the team, and then decide with whom to establish more friendly relations.
Set the “rules of the game”
A change in leadership always raises a lot of questions and concerns among employees. It is important in the very first days to “indicate your position”, to tell what goals and objectives you set for yourself and the team, and what actions should not be expected from you. This will help people better understand what awaits them. Consider the values and corporate culture of the company without focusing on your own preferences - such an approach will only cause a feeling of dissonance among subordinates. Try to meet with each employee personally - this is a great opportunity to ask questions that interest you, get more detailed answers to them, and build relationships.
How to always be a leader in a team with the help of training
If you want to improve your charisma, leadership skills, learn to improvise 100%, then learning from a person who has walked this path will help you. Under no circumstances should you listen to amateurs who shout at every corner: “Pay me and you’ll get rich!”
For me, such a person is Pavel Volya. According to Forbes, he earned more than $2 million in 2019 from his humor and charisma.
Improvisation in life is a joint training between Pavel Volya and Stanislav Sheminov, creative producer of the show “Improvisation on TNT”.
What you will learn:
- Get to know new interesting sides of yourself.
- Unwind.
- Become more emotionally expressive.
- Learn to react quickly in any new unusual circumstances.
- Become more open.
- Develop invention and imagination.
The training consists of 42 video lessons, each of which is divided into 2 parts: practical and theoretical. After each lesson you will need to complete an assignment to reinforce the material.
Along with the main program, 15 minutes of improvised physical education will take place every day.
After completing the task, you send a video report, and the curators give you feedback. All the curators with whom you will communicate are working together with Pavel on the creation of the Improvisation show.
Training costs 12,000 rubles.
If within 2 weeks you decide that the course is not suitable, the organizers will return the money.
After registering for training, a girl from Pavel’s team will contact you and answer all your questions regarding the training. Discuss payment terms with her.
Also in this article you will find reviews of all courses of the “Willpower” project from Pavel and Laysan Utyasheva.
Don't criticize everything that came before you
Criticizing the performance of a previous manager and his projects will never benefit your image, no matter how much your experience and qualifications exceed the same characteristics of the previous manager, no matter how good his results actually were. This is a sure way to cause negative emotions among some employees who are loyal to the previous management: if someone is still watching your actions, there will be someone who will wait for your mistake, or even contribute to it. Be more careful in your judgments.
Relationships with colleagues
It is equally important to form equal relationships with equals in status. During the first week, try to meet and talk with each of the heads of departments with whom you will work. Treat them as equals. If this is acceptable for them, you can switch to “you”.
In relationships with colleagues of equal status, you need to show that they are not authorized to give you instructions. If they try to do this, you can politely but firmly say, “I understand you. I need to consult with my supervisor, Pyotr Petrovich.”
Be more attentive to details
The “right off the bat” approach to resolving work issues in a new place or position is not suitable. Each company develops in its own way, so you always need to analyze why this or that problem arose, how they tried to solve it before you, why it didn’t work, why they decided it this way and not otherwise, and so on. Try organizing a meeting by inviting those who took part in solving the problem - “dry” reports will become much clearer, and joint discussion with colleagues may lead to the emergence of new ideas for eliminating it. For additional information, you can contact the necessary employees personally - and the puzzle will finally come together, and personal contact will be established. Otherwise, you may make a mistake that you simply won’t have time to correct in this company—the very first failure may become your last project.
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