We are accustomed to considering laziness as a shortcoming. “He’s so lazy!”, “What should I do with my laziness, she was born before me…”, “He doesn’t want to do his homework - he’s lazy!”
Many of us would like to get rid of this “shortcoming” and teach our children the same thing - not to be lazy, but to work. But is it worth doing?
After all, laziness plays a very important role in our lives. She, like a litmus test, shows what we want to do, and what we do through force, forcing ourselves. How effective is it? How can knowing the whole truth about laziness help us? Let's figure it out.
As you know, the concept of “laziness” is not welcomed in our society. We use this word if we want to evaluate a person’s low performance, criticize him, or even offend him. And the famous Dahl dictionary defines this quality as follows: “Laziness is a reluctance to work, aversion from work, from work, from activities; a tendency towards idleness and parasitism.” It would seem that since Dahl himself speaks this way about laziness, what else can be added about the “mother of all vices”? Is it really something good and bright?
We suggest starting with classification. After all, laziness, like any other quality, has a lot of varieties.
Classification of laziness
Laziness as an engine of progress
Do you know, dear readers, that it was a lazy person who came up with everything that allows you to rationally spend your energy and time? From the notorious wheel to the Internet. Can we call an inventor - a person who can spend years working on making his dream come true - a lazy person? Hardly. Rather, it is not laziness, but a desire to find a shorter path to solving a problem, to solve it in the most effective way.
Remember how often in life we come across people who, having received a task, are in no hurry to complete it. Is it because of laziness? It’s just that first they want to choose the most effective method of execution, and then start taking action. This is what the proverb says about them: “It takes a long time to harness and rides quickly.”
Laziness as a protective reaction of the body
Sometimes reluctance to do something is the result of physical or mental overload.
Anyone who works hard for a long time, one day does not find the basic strength within himself - the body simply refuses to obey him. This happens today, unfortunately, all the time. Suddenly, at an unplanned time for relaxation, in the midst of a working day, you begin to wildly want to lie on the couch with a book, chat with friends on the phone, or, in extreme cases, just sleep. Most often, those who are commonly called “workaholics” suffer from such “laziness” - for one reason or another they work, as they say, 25 hours a day. And when the body begins to defend itself from such activity, to rebel, to malfunction, demanding the necessary respite, the workaholic says to himself: “Somehow I’m lazy these days, this is not good.”
Then the feeling of guilt comes to the rescue. A hard worker simply cannot afford to be lazy! But the body is not rubber. He finds the optimal solution to stop working - illness.
Do you think that your schoolchildren get sick so often because they are overcome by viruses and infections? It's possible. But take a closer look: what are the stresses of “school production”, how often does a child have red eyes, fatigue and a great desire to put aside even his favorite objects? Perhaps he is not able to do the number of tasks that are asked at school. And “laziness” may simply be a break that the child’s body is trying to declare.
To some extent, it is overwork that underlies the “laziness” of many of our high school students. They seem to be trying with all their might to evade classes and household chores, but in fact they are incredibly overtired and, with all their might, are “pulling” loads that are too much for most adults to handle. After all, their working day, real and not formally announced, lasts at least fifteen hours (eight to ten lessons, plus homework, plus tutors or preparatory courses).
Laziness as a lack of motivation
As a rule, this is a consequence of the unconscious resistance of the person himself, who in the depths of his soul suddenly begins to feel that he seems to be not quite going there and not quite doing it. In such cases, those around him begin to accuse him of laziness - in particular, those who need him to do work that he does not want to do. For example, you and I, dear parents.
We begin to complain about a lazy child who does not help us, does not want to study, or go to developmental and sports activities, to which we take him so hard. But let's figure it out: does the person himself need the work that he is forced to do? Will the child be told at least a simple thank you for his help? Does the teenager understand why he personally needs to study, or does he do it under pressure only for his parents? Do you often ask your children: for whom does he study and go to classes, for whom does he clean his room? Ask. You will be surprised and perhaps upset to hear: “How is this for whom? Of course, for you, parents!”
And now it’s time to think: if a child studies and does everything exclusively for you, under pressure, will he learn to do anything in life for himself? Will he be able, as an adult, to separate his desires from those of others? Or will he remain the fulfiller of other people's dreams? Should you think about this today? What do you think, dear parents?
Laziness as a benefit
We often don't want to change what is beneficial to us. And we hide behind laziness, like a shield, which, although society will condemn it, will accept it unconditionally and understand it. What could it be? We don't want to take care of our health and lose weight. But in fact, then we will not be able to complain about bad doctors, this cruel world, mutant products and the environment in general. It is more profitable for a child to say: “I’m too lazy to go to training” than to admit that yesterday he had a fight with the boys and now he is afraid to go there.
Laziness of a parasite
And, finally, that same notorious laziness of a parasite, expressed in the saying “Whoever is good at doing something will do it to us.” Why do something if there is always someone who will do it for you without asking you anything for it? Of course, in this case the person is unlikely to develop and become an interesting person. But in any situation he will learn to find active people who are ready to live their lives for him. Well, it’s who likes what more. As a vivid cartoon example illustrating this type of laziness, let us recall Antoshka, whom the guys called to dig potatoes. And there were replacement hands! True, Antoshka, “thanks to” his laziness, could have been left not only without work, but also without lunch.
But if we talk about laziness as a vice, then perhaps its most terrible type is laziness of the mind.
When you are simply too lazy to think about what, how and why you will do it. In this case, a person rolls through life by inertia, even if his lifestyle has already become unpleasant to him. But in order to change him, he needs to worry about it, and he is too lazy to think.
For example, a woman may automatically do housework, which she hates, and desperately criticize everyone in the house for not helping her. But I’m too lazy to think about how to motivate my family to help her. After all, then you will have to look for a separate approach to each family member, learn to be understanding, observe who is interested in what. And I’m too lazy to do this...
Very often mental laziness manifests itself in the relationship between husband and wife. Each of them is too lazy to think about what their partner would like. It’s easier to demand, criticize, humiliate, even blackmail. This takes a huge amount of effort. But, apparently, putting yourself in your partner’s shoes, feeling him, seeing the reasons for his actions requires even more mental strength. And this is already laziness of the soul...
As a rule, those suffering from this type of laziness do not consider themselves lazy at all. Rather, they are closer to the role of a victim, whom everyone mocks and does not understand - from a small child to the state as a whole.
Negative emotions
What is lack of will in its pure form? This is an unconscious desire for peace, endless rest, oblivion. It has been noticed that a person with a reduced energy resource gets tired more, sleeps, eats, and moves less. He can go to the store, buy groceries for the week, and do whatever is required of him. But he is always busy with everyday affairs, immersed in the demands that society makes. This is what the problem of laziness and lack of will is. Strong people are always simple in reality. Anyone who wants to improve themselves always finds time for their hobbies, new interesting ideas, and promising activities. He also works, but in a different way: for him, activity is not just a source of income, but a way to change himself, show his best character traits, and cultivate talents and abilities.
Motivation as a way to understand and overcome laziness
We hope that it is now clear that laziness is not a typical problem that can be solved in one fell swoop. Even in order to give advice on “how to get rid of laziness yourself or to rid someone else of it,” you will have to look for the true causes of laziness. And, as we have already found out, there can be many of them - from unwillingness to follow orders to banal overload.
No person will do what is unpleasant, unnecessary or unprofitable to him. Even if a person is somehow dependent on you - a child, a subordinate - it is wiser not to force him, but to motivate him, to arouse interest in this or that work (and not always and not only material). In this case, as a rule, the work will be done not only on time, but also with better quality. And if it seems to you that you have already motivated him enough, but he is still lazy, it means that the motivation is either insufficient or irrelevant for this individual.
A trivial example is motivation by money. Even the “golden mountains” are not able to force a closed introvert to actively communicate with people. This will be a burden for him and very soon he will either have a nervous breakdown, or an illness, or you will find a resignation letter thrown on the table.
If you use so-called fear motivation, keep in mind that it is not always effective and can sometimes cause a backlash. When you tell your teenager, “Do what I tell you right now! Otherwise, I won’t buy (I won’t talk, I won’t let you home, etc.),” then it may well turn out that you will be forced to do this, but you will greatly regret the threats made. Grown-up children find it difficult to withstand the pressure of their parents. Sometimes they need the most insignificant reason to say: “Well, so be it! Well, it is not necessary!" slam the door.
Who needs laziness?
In general, when starting to “fight laziness” (no matter your own or someone else’s), you need to determine what its nature is. But not only. Does it make sense to decide whose problem in a particular case is laziness - yours or your loved ones? Who does it bother, and who should take care to eliminate it?
- Complaining about one’s own laziness is the first sign of a “workaholic” who needs rest. It is very difficult to convince a person who is immersed in work, for whom there are practically no days off, that he needs rest. Why? Because such a person, as a rule, sublimates - redirects - his energy specifically to solving work problems, so as not to deal with, for example, solving problems in his personal life. And yet, he also needs rest. The following argument is suitable for him: work after the weekend will go better and twice as efficiently! Therefore, you need to allow yourself to be “lazy” - sleep, read, etc. Unlike adults, children are not characterized by workaholism. By complaining that they are too lazy to do something, they show that pressure from parents or teachers has already crossed acceptable limits. And the next stage, if the pressure continues, may be illness. As the only “legal” way not to carry out other people’s orders.
- Complaints about children's laziness are one of the most common complaints with which concerned parents seek advice from child psychiatrists and psychologists. Young family members, in turn, claim that their elders are unnecessarily nagging at them. So which one is right? Very often, parents who make complaints about laziness to their son or daughter do not pay attention to the fact that the child, who is not interested in, say, studying, and avoids lessons in every way, simply does not have his own motivation for this rather labor-intensive task. He sincerely does not understand why he himself needs this. Agree, a simple desire to please parents is clearly not enough. Especially if the demands of his elders are too high and do not correspond to his capabilities and abilities, and in addition, instead of praise and understanding, he is constantly scolded by his parents and teachers.
In this situation, the label “lazy” becomes very attractive for the child. Maybe at least with this “title” they will leave him alone, because those around him are still unhappy with him. What can be done in this situation? Is it worth indulging children's laziness? Or is it necessary to persistently prove, to demand that the teenager finally “come to his senses”?
The solution to the problem is that the child himself understands what exactly he is doing and why he needs it. Look for the meaning for which he will strive to go to school. It is quite possible that this will only be communication with peers. But for this reason he may want to go to school. As soon as the child begins to do what interests him, what is important and valuable to him, laziness will disappear, strength will appear, and grades will improve.
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Fight, lose or negotiate
How to overcome laziness, this eternal enemy of achievements? No way. Moreover, this is not required at all (and let’s be realistic, it is impossible to do this). As mentioned above, laziness, like everything in this world, has two sides to the coin. This means that people should learn to use it for their own purposes and receive certain benefits from this cooperation. It's kind of a symbiosis.
What to do if you are too lazy to even move? You simply lie on the sofa or bed, slowly merging with this comfortable furniture. In the event of such an attack of laziness (not to be confused with real fatigue or poor health!) Try to look at yourself from the outside. So…
Here you are lying, absolutely relaxed, your hair is disheveled... Obviously, it could use styling or at least washing. Are you a man, and beautifully styled hair is not so important? Fine! There is two-, no, five-day stubble on his face. Not very neat either, is it? The skin on your face does not look very fresh... You should do peelings and masks... A peeling manicure does not make you more attractive... And your muscles literally spread across the horizontal surface... Maybe you shouldn’t take the tenth route to the gym?
Your laziness, so sweet and defenseless, lies next to you, on the already, excuse me, slightly smelling bed linen (when was the last time you washed it?).
As a rule, after such visualization a person gets up and starts doing at least something. This does not mean that you will run to the gym or go beat out carpets, but, as they say, the ice will break at least a little, and laziness will go away. Psychology offers many ways to counteract your idleness, but this one is one of the most effective.
Try it for yourself when the moment is right and see the results for yourself.
And remember: laziness, the causes of which are very diverse, is not your enemy. Moreover, with the right interaction, she is your faithful ally and inspirer. If you do not agree with this, proceed to the next section of our article.
Lazy childhood
Sometimes we ourselves teach children to be lazy by unnecessarily limiting their activity at an early age (most often mothers and grandmothers are guilty of this). “Let me help,” the elders constantly repeat and put away the baby’s toys, feed him, dress him, doing everything necessary much faster and more accurately. But, unfortunately, in this way they often extinguish the child’s initiative, developing in him the habit of expecting that someone else will do everything for him.
Many energetic, active people fail to understand that not everyone can keep up with them. Especially children. We often demand: “When will you get dressed?!” When will you finally do your homework!”, running around the child, hurrying and tugging at him.
If your child is a sensitive, anxious person, this will be especially difficult for them. He will consider himself guilty and try in every way to “meet” impossible demands. Of course, the results will get worse each time.
Let's try to imagine what is happening at this moment in the baby's head. "I am bad. I'm slow. Mom is not happy with me. She doesn't like me. She doesn’t love me”... Are you sure you want such thoughts to wander through your child’s head? After all, it is they who ultimately lead to an inferiority complex, depression and illness. If you don’t want to, then learn to respect his pace of development, his temperament, and even his slowness.
Cure for laziness
The most effective remedy for laziness is not a potion. And not even an attempt to force, put pressure, demand. The most effective way to “fight” laziness was and remains the desire to understand “why I’m lazy” and “why he (she) is lazy” to do something. And only when you understand the reason for laziness in your child or yourself, you can correct the situation.
To make it easier for you to find the reason, we offer you a number of questions that you can address both to yourself and to your baby:
- What does he (I) not want to do?
- What prevents me (him) from being lazy?
- What is my (his) body protesting against?
- What exactly will I or my child lose if he doesn’t do what he doesn’t want to do now?
If you are not afraid to answer questions honestly, you can find out the true reason for laziness.
Useful materials
Here I will leave for you a small selection of books and other materials so that the topic of laziness will forever be closed to you.
Books:
- Richard Branson “To hell with everything! Take it and do it!”
- Neil Fiore “The Easy Way to Stop Procrastinating”
- Brian Tracy “No Excuses! The power of self-discipline. 21 paths to sustainable success and happiness"
- Anthony Robbins “Unleash the Giant Within”
Based on Brian Tracy's book, the guys created a motivational video. I recommend you watch it.
The Goal Setting course on the Vikium platform will help you not waste energy, set goals and achieve them, and become more effective in your professional and everyday life.
