How to keep a man: a guide for a woman madly in love

Sooner or later, any woman wonders how to keep a man. Most often, this question arises when a turning point is approaching in a relationship, and the feelings of a loved one gradually begin to fade away. You can regain your former passion, but you will have to work on yourself and the relationship in general. There is no universal way to breathe new life into communication with a man. But there is no need to fall into despair and put into practice all the advice of friends and dubious specialists. You should always look for the main reason in yourself.

But does it make sense

No matter how strong and stable a couple’s relationship may seem, there is always a risk that another trouble or quarrel will cause a breakup. Lovers often quarrel due to misunderstandings and take offense at each other even without a serious reason. But not everyone can take a step towards reconciliation.

Often women wait for a man to take the initiative for reconciliation; they are guided by the principle: if he loves, then he must apologize. But it is very easy to hurt a man’s pride; even a minor reason can cause feelings to cool. There may also be a situation where a guy has been waiting for a long time for a reason to break off the relationship, but was afraid to do it himself.

Each situation needs to be analyzed individually, but all women should adhere to the following recommendations before doing so:

• do not hurry;
• be honest with yourself;
• think about the reciprocity of feelings.

To make a man think about the feasibility of a relationship, a woman can put into practice a number of special tricks, as well as adhere to the recommendations of psychologists in order to bind her lover more closely to herself.

In some cases, the opposite method works: a man falls in love more if a woman keeps him at some distance. Many ladies very successfully use this technique if they want to receive something material from their chosen one: a new thing, jewelry, even a car or an apartment. But to pull this off, you need a strong desire, as well as the ability to manipulate your partner’s feelings.

If a man is interested, keeping him at a distance is convenient. Representatives of the stronger sex are hunters by nature; if they have to woo a woman, they only fall in love more. But there is always a risk of “overstaying it,” which will cause men’s interest to completely fade away and the relationship to come to an end.

It’s worth figuring out whether you should try to keep a man close. To answer this question, you will have to think carefully, list all the reasons why you can do this, and also carefully analyze the situation that has arisen, weighing all the positive and negative aspects of the existing relationship. Perhaps all the manipulations are not worth it for the guy to stay around. It is very important here not to be led by emotions or desires alone, but to include logic.

Ways to make a man fall in love with you

Achieving your goal is much easier if you use some tips . With their help, it becomes much easier to make a person fall in love with you:

1. You should never reveal everything about yourself in the first few meetings. Men love mystery. They are pleased to discover more and more surprises from their partner.
2. It's important to be seductive. You should demonstrate your strengths more often, and then there will be more chances for a relationship.

3. 
   Men like sad women less. They love to admire those who do not lose heart even in difficult situations. Seeing your cheerful smile, it will be easier for him to understand that you feel good in his company.

4. Anger, cynicism, hypocrisy and many other negative aspects of character do not beautify the female sex and prevent you from becoming attached to yourself.
5. Common interests are always useful. Such couples always have something to talk about; they have much less reasons for separation.
6. A glance is a terrible weapon of influence. By showing passion and significance in him, you can achieve excellent results. At the right moments, you can whet their interest.
7. You should not immediately become easily accessible. For some time you need to keep your companion at a distance. This should arouse additional interest in him and increase your value in his eyes.
8. Frequent physical contact promotes the establishment of close relationships.
9. There is no need to try to make him jealous by flirting in front of him. The relationship will be noticeably damaged.

Reasons for fear of relationships in men

Why are men so afraid of serious relationships? In fact, there are several reasons, but each of them leaves a serious imprint on the male psyche:

1. Bad experience, unhappy love. You can’t rush into a relationship if the guy just recently went through a breakup with his ex. It is better to unobtrusively ask him how he got out of this situation in order to assess how deep the mental wound is.
2. A distorted view of family life. It is formed if there was a previous marriage that ended in a painful divorce. Perhaps his parents went through this. In such cases, the man is convinced that marriage spoils the relationship. A woman faces a serious problem: how to destroy this illusion, to prove to her beloved that life together can be happy if both begin to work on it.
3. The image of a bachelor in the media, culture, and advertising is always presented favorably. A free man lives cheerfully, carefree, no one spoils his mood with or without reason. A playboy always has a lot of fans, but there are no obligations or responsibilities. Of course, such a world looks attractive. The main task of a woman who falls in love with a convinced bachelor is to convince him, to show him that there is an even more beautiful world of love and harmony that will help him find true happiness.

READ How to make a man miss you: women's tricks and psychological techniques

His friends are sacred to him2

You don't have to like them. You don't need to be part of their social circle or share their interests. But any attempts to come between a man and his friends will not help strengthen your relationship, rest assured.

If a man himself dreams of introducing you to his company, get acquainted. Perhaps you will find their company interesting and informative, you will find friends among their wives; expanding your social circle has never hurt anyone in life. But you shouldn’t try to deliberately please everyone, especially if you don’t like these people, remember what we wrote about falsehood? If your relationship with your man’s company doesn’t work out, don’t try to turn him against his friends. Maintain neutrality.

If you began to appear surrounded by his friends more and more often, and these people seem pleasant and interesting to you, you are already in some sense lucky. But remember one important thing - never, under any circumstances, argue or conflict with a man in front of his friends. Firstly, they will almost always take his side, and nothing good will come of it for you. Secondly, with a public showdown you will deal a blow to your man’s self-esteem in the company of his friends, and this is a serious blow for a man.

If your chosen one has decided that love is separate and friends are separate, do not intrude and do not try, contrary to his wishes, to find out everything about his friends. Believe me, if he made such a decision, it was probably dictated by concern for you, and not by some unpleasant secrets. The reluctance to introduce you to friends most likely has a simple explanation: for example, he simply does not want his angelic girlfriend to listen to noisy conversations of not quite sober men interspersed with obscene language.

Behavior algorithms

A woman’s behavior when she wants to keep a man close to her is determined by the situation. Much depends on the guy’s social status, whether he is single or married, how old he is, whether he lives nearby or not. Also, a situation often arises when a couple has a child, then they will have to behave completely differently.

General advice from psychology that will be useful to a woman in any situation is as follows:

1. Reproaches, jealousy, criticism and attacks will only darken a relationship that is already bursting at the seams. Any problem that arises should be solved calmly, without unnecessary emotions and hysterics. The best solution is a compromise so that everyone's interests are taken into account. You won’t go far without trust, so suspicion and jealousy should not appear without a serious reason, otherwise the man will quickly become indifferent.
2. Your mood and appearance should always be at their best. No one likes to see next to them an always gloomy and unkempt young lady in a stretched tracksuit. A man needs to be convinced that a woman lives a rich and interesting life, while always maintaining a certain mystery.
3. Down with restrictions on his personal freedom. This does not mean that you can openly allow him to meet others. But the presence of boundaries is necessary; the main thing is to ensure that love and care do not transform into obsession and total control.
4. From time to time you need to maintain distance in a relationship. Nothing bad will happen if you leave a call unanswered a couple of times or refuse a meeting under a convenient pretext. This way the man will see that the woman’s personal life is not focused on him alone, and as a result, he will show more interest in her person.
5. Demonstrating female attractiveness will help keep a man's attention. You need to be confident in your own beauty and hone your femininity. Let the guys on the street turn around after such a girl. Light flirting is welcome. But it is important not to overdo it, otherwise everything can turn into an outbreak of jealousy and scandal.

Let the man be given the role of leader in communication. It is necessary to reserve for him the right to make serious decisions and show concern. Even if he is wrong, you should not state it head-on, you need to unobtrusively make it clear what he is wrong about. At the same time, the guy must be sure that he came to such conclusions on his own.

When a man is married

Relationships with a married man rarely lead to good results. But if, nevertheless, a woman does not see her life without him, she will have to show willpower, act decisively, and be completely confident in her actions.

There is no need to try to replace his wife. Washing, cooking, cleaning await him at home, and he comes to his mistress to rest, relax, and escape from everyday problems. A woman should look good, be gentle and friendly.

It’s worth being emotional and romantic, demonstrating to a man that you don’t need anything from him except the opportunity to give him your love. At the same time, you need to show moderate care and remain a reliable friend.

Hysterics will only push the guy away. He is married, you need to understand that circumstances can change at any moment. If he suddenly cancels the meeting, it is best to react calmly and be understanding.

Constant whining and complaints about lack of attention will not help keep a married man next to you. When a woman starts a relationship with such a person, she should immediately be prepared for the fact that she will have to spend weekends, holidays and even ordinary evenings alone. What is the point of reproaching an unfree loved one for being with his family at this time? The wife will always be a priority.

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You shouldn’t get used to such relationships, because they can end at any moment. Otherwise, separations will bring a lot of suffering, resentment will grow, which is why scandals will inevitably begin to occur. The man is fed up with this at home; he doesn’t need to organize Egyptian executions when he just wants to relax.

If he is younger

If the guy is younger, common hobbies, sharing interests, as well as constant work on oneself will help to keep him. A woman must keep herself in good physical shape so that her lover does not stare at younger girls. The beauty of a woman, both physical and spiritual, means a lot. You need to constantly work on this in order to attract a young man and remain interesting to him.

Love at a distance

It is difficult to keep the man you love if he permanently lives in another city or country. But nothing is impossible, because we live in an age of high technology, which greatly simplifies communication. To maintain the interest of a man with whom you cannot yet be close, you will have to regularly reinforce his feelings.

There is no need to be too dramatic about separation; let it be regarded as a way to ensure the sincerity and depth of feelings.

It is imperative to maintain constant contact, try to talk more often, share experiences, events of the day, news. Also, don’t forget to ask how he’s doing. But here it is important to adhere to certain limits and not to impose. Constant calls and messages are distracting and annoying. It is best to make video calls a couple of times a day. Maintaining eye contact is mandatory.

Jealousy is inevitable. But in order to keep it under control, you should discuss in advance with your beloved man that the relationship is based on trust. It will help you not to commit rash acts. You always need to tell each other the truth, the deception will still be revealed sooner or later, and then the relationship will inevitably fall apart.

It is very important that the connection is not only virtual. Personal meetings are necessary, even if they are short. A bright date filled with positive emotions will only strengthen the connection. And it’s easier to cope with separation, knowing that there will be a new meeting soon.

Have a common child

Having a child together does not guarantee that a man will remain close forever, no matter how much his girlfriends convince him otherwise. Often a woman decides to give birth when she feels that divorce is inevitable or, conversely, in order to marry a man. You can't blackmail a guy as a child.

Children can be a manipulative tool in a woman’s hands, but a number of nuances must be taken into account so that the loved one does not try to hide behind the horizon at any opportunity.

You cannot use a child as a reason to return a departed man. This will only demonstrate female selfishness. You need to let your loved one know that you can cope without him. If you are pregnant, you should simply report it without expecting anything. If a guy values ​​relationships, he himself will begin to take action, because his pride will be hurt, and if not, then it is better to break up with him as quickly as possible.

Forcing a child will further push the man away from the woman. In extreme cases, his attitude towards the child will worsen, and it is vile to deprive the child of his father. It is immoral to try to manipulate the feelings and personality of a lover - this will only destroy his life. You should not act against the will of a man; it is better to let go if the feelings are sincere.

Trying to manipulate a partner with the help of a child, a woman often forgets about the baby itself. You need to understand that if pregnancy occurred as a result of a casual relationship, it is unlikely that the guy will experience love towards the offspring. He may remain in the family, but he will be guided only by a sense of duty, and not by love. Is it worth raising a child in such conditions, without fatherly love and care?

READ How to take a man away from your family: astrology, magic and advice from a psychologist

Before you try to keep a guy in a relationship as a child, you should think carefully about whether it is worth solving problems in this way. When a guy leaves a girl, something doesn’t suit him, the baby won’t correct the situation. You need to work on yourself.

Final Thoughts: How to Keep a Man

Much of the challenge for women is that we need to learn to graciously accept help when it is offered to us. We are afraid that we might be rejected for doing too much. Quite often this is due to our upbringing, where we do not feel that we are worthy of anyone's love and support. Therefore, we play the role of self-sufficient women and push away what we need.

When we don't show a man that we trust him to give us what we need, we reinforce the subconscious fear that he might not be good enough. We are mistaken in believing that he is not interested in our needs. But that's not true. This prevents him from being the hero he wants to be for us. Demonstrating need means that we allow him to play his role, and demonstrate his skill and competence to change our lives.

So start sending your man the message that you need him. Get rid of excessive pride. Let him know that he can fill the voids in your life. At the same time, do not forget to give him time for his own hobbies, and offer your help and support in difficult moments.

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about the author

Julia

Want to know how to achieve your life goal? This blog will help you learn how to apply psychology to your relationships, health and well-being. My goal is to teach my readers how to maximize their effectiveness in life.

Some women's advice

Women who have experience of successful relationships behind them are advised to adhere to the following model of behavior when communicating with a man:

1. Criticism is excluded.
2. Avoid tears in front of a man.
3. Anyone can get tired of whining with or without reason.
4. Do not start serious conversations about relationships unless necessary.
5. Do not forbid a man to spend time with friends and have fun.
6. Total control will scare anyone away.
7. Refusal of intimacy is unacceptable without serious reasons.
8. Ridicule and offensive nicknames are repulsive.
9. Trying to put a man on a diet will make him unhappy.

Be interesting and mysterious

You always need to maintain male interest while remaining mysterious to your partner. The presence of a secret in a woman excites the male imagination. This could be constant reincarnation, a change of images, hobbies, a varied menu, or offers of unusual leisure activities. In front of such a lady, no man will remain indifferent.

Figure

Watching your figure is vital. No man will like it if his woman is out of shape and the excess weight is very noticeable. This does not mean that you need to lose weight to the point of anorexia. Many people like the pleasant fullness. But it should be just pleasant fullness, and not fat hanging down in rolls that even clothing does not hide.

It’s worth going to the gym, swimming pool, and mastering active recreation. It’s good if a man himself shares this: going to the gym together, skiing, biking or jogging will only strengthen the connection.

Don't press him

It is useless to put pressure on a man. Excessive intrusiveness and increased attention by representatives of the stronger sex are perceived as attempts at control. He will run away from such a woman without looking back. Constant presence nearby, attempts to violate his personal space without invitation will only scare him away. Men don’t like it when the “prey” falls into their hands. More precisely, they love, but they quickly lose interest in such ladies.

Love at a distance

There is a widespread belief that it is almost impossible to remain faithful to your partner from a distance. However, if you understand the essence of the problem well, then the chances of betrayal become minimal.

Psychologists have some useful tips to answer the question of how to keep a man’s interest at a distance:

1. Communicate with your spouse more often. Tell him about events in your life, be interested in the state of his affairs, remind him of how you are waiting for him.
2. At the same time, there is no need to impose. Calling a hundred times a day to remind yourself is a bad idea. This behavior causes irritation and hostility.
3. You need to trust your partner. By constantly checking and hinting at possible betrayal, you insult him or even provoke him.
4. Learn to wait. Spend your free time on yourself. Read books, sign up for some courses. Take care of your own health, maintain your tone. All this will lead to the fact that when your loved one returns, he will be pleasantly pleased with the changes that have happened to you.

Separation with true love only makes the relationship stronger. The lovers yearn for each other and constantly remember events from the past. Their absorption in their inner world does not allow them to pay attention to outside temptations and lose interest.

Turning to the powers of magic

In extreme cases, a woman can resort to white magic rituals. But this is worth doing only if all “legal” methods have been tried and have not brought results. There are a great many conspiracies and rituals for love, return or attachment of a man. They are all effective in their own way, but you need to be prepared for the consequences. Fate doesn't like it when people interfere with its course.

It is best not to practice divination on your own, but to turn to specialists. First, you can go to a fortune teller, who will predict whether this relationship is possible in principle or whether there is no chance. If a woman wants to keep a man with her, she can turn to sorcerers who will perform the appropriate rituals. But you need to understand that there are no guarantees. Still, it’s worth working on yourself better - this is a more effective way, although it requires time and effort.

Whether or not to keep a man next to you depends on many factors. If the feelings are strong and sincere, then the answer is “yes.” The woman will have to work on the situation, understand why her lover’s interest began to disappear. If you identify the reasons and do everything to eliminate irritating factors, the man himself will not want to leave.

Nature of the relationship

Over time, love and passion fade . The couple enters a period of testing the relationship, where much depends on the atmosphere that the woman will create. She often sets the tone, so it is important for her to understand what her companion wants from their union.

You need to understand when a person needs to be alone and when he wants to go to a crowded place. There is no need to try to drag him out to a club or restaurant if he wants to sit at home.

Understanding what your other half wants, it is much easier to lead a life together. This is not so difficult, because you can remember what kind of life the man led before you, pay attention to his preferences after entering into a relationship.

It is important not to limit the freedom of the person near you . He has a job, hobbies and friends. Interfering in all these processes, especially those where you have no place, is one of the best ways to break up.

- Change your lifestyle

You have started a new serious relationship, invaded someone’s familiar world, which means you should change your life a little, adapt to the life of your chosen one. At a minimum, you need to understand and accept your boyfriend’s lifestyle, you need to sacrifice something, changing your life and adapting to him. At the same time, try to change your boyfriend’s habits very carefully; guys perceive very negatively all attempts to fit into their familiar world. This is the essence of a relationship, two characters get used to each other, changing their lives and their habits.

Is it worth keeping a man?

Psychologists say that if a man himself wants to leave and shows persistence in doing so, then there is no point in keeping him. It will be a waste of time, effort, nerves and energy. If there is no love or common ground in a relationship for a long time, then the true reason for trying to keep your partner is self-pity, fear of the unknown and resentment that the best years of your life were wasted.

There is also one more point to consider. Practice shows that a man who is in a long-term relationship with a woman rarely decides to leave. If this happens, the reasons are:

• The woman simply brought him to this point with her nagging or attitude.
• A new love appeared in his life.

In the second case, there is nothing special to advise, since with your struggle you can only show a man his significance and importance. There is no point in being afraid of parting with someone who does not appreciate, love, or respect. If a man has made his final decision, it is difficult to stop him, since such a step is also not easy, requiring long hours of thought.

In the first case, all is not lost. If you catch yourself in time and grab your head, the relationship can be saved. We must learn to talk about our feelings, seek compromises and try to behave wisely.

Just like his mother3

If everything is quite simple with friends, then you will almost certainly have to build a relationship with his mother. And every mother wishes for her beloved boy the most intelligent, beautiful, modest, well-mannered, gentle, honest, blameless... And you are unlikely to be the living embodiment of her fantasies. Alas, there is no universal recipe in this situation.

But even if your relationship with his mother does not work out, do not forget that you have one advantage. For a mother, her adult son always remains a child, and she is sure that she understands life better than him and knows what he needs better than himself. But having made a choice in your favor, the man has already made an adult and independent decision.

And if you consider him not a helpless child, but an independent and adult man, you will always be looked at in a favorable light. “Yes, mom is right, this girl is not the most ideal, not a supermodel, not a princess, and did not defend two doctoral dissertations, but she makes me a man,” your chosen one thinks and hurries from mom into your arms.

What about his exes?4

First of all, don’t become one of them. In this case, one simple way works: just forget about them. Don't be jealous, don't try to get to the bottom of the past, don't burn their letters, which he can keep as a keepsake. The past remains the past, and there is no way you can change it. But while you are the present, the future is in your hands.

Any ex of his is a story of separation, and each separation had its own reason. He may want to tell you about this himself: just listen, draw conclusions and don’t repeat the mistakes of your predecessor. In rare cases, your man's ex-girlfriend may remain in his circle of close friends, and even become his good friend, but even in this case, you have no reason to be jealous and anxious: out of the two of you, he has already chosen you.