- April 9, 2019
- Psychology of relationships
- Ulyana Orekhova
Finding a life partner who would meet all the standards of the male ideal is impossible, if only because the criteria for this standard vary greatly among representatives of the stronger sex. Some people like independent ladies, others like defenseless individuals, but there is a general range of feminine qualities, the totality of which makes any woman desirable to the chosen one. So what are the qualities of a woman that men value?
Men's expectations and reality
When taking an inexperienced girl who has not yet encountered the problems of independent life as his wife, a man has no right to expect that the young lady will immediately give him a feeling of comfort and take on half the responsibility for family life. All these features, as well as the ability to cope with everyday difficulties, come to a woman over the years. However, an attentive man will always be able to discern in his companion the beginnings of the necessary character traits, which over time will develop into qualities valued by most modern cultures.
What qualities do men value in a woman?
- external beauty;
- kindness and honesty;
- self-esteem and a sense of optimism;
- the ability to yield when necessary;
- femininity and sexuality;
- thrift.
Nurturing these character traits will make a woman more confident and significantly increase her value in the eyes of members of the opposite sex. If the girl already has a chosen one, pleasant changes in her behavior will make the union even stronger and the relationship brighter.
Dima, 27
My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. I think so, and she thinks so. Beauty comes from within, and I don't care what size she wears. The main thing is how she presents herself - and she carries herself like a queen.
Advice: when you feel sexy, believe me, there is nothing sexier. So make a little effort - for yourself, and not for someone else - and start taking care of yourself, dressing beautifully and behaving like a real woman, you won’t even notice how your back will straighten and your second wind will open.
External and internal beauty
When asked which women men like and which they don’t, girls themselves often answer erroneously, listing first of all the external signs of their gender.
Of course, external gloss and well-groomed appearance are the first things that guys pay attention to when they first meet, but a girl can only make him hold his interest in her person through the use of her mental and spiritual qualities. Not the least important among them is the development of spiritual values that make a woman truly interesting in communication, because the kindness and beauty of a woman are still considered derivatives of her inner purity.
Here is the order in which, in descending order of importance, men ranked the criteria of female attractiveness that concern them:
- pleasant, feminine figure;
- clean skin;
- clear, open look;
- good teeth;
- beautiful well-groomed hair.
Contrary to the opinion of modern girls, men consider naturalness to be the best indicator of external beauty - at least at the level of the woman’s absence of implants and a large amount of cosmetics on her face. A beauty's excessive concern for her appearance will also become a serious obstacle to the development of reciprocal sympathy. According to the men surveyed, nothing tires them out more on a date than their partner’s constant fears about her makeup and visual flawlessness.
Male psychology in relation to women
Relationships between opposite sexes often do not occur without difficulties arising from misunderstandings of differences in psychology. So before you ask “why don’t men like me?” It is necessary to study in detail male psychological characteristics .
First of all, you should realize that men do not favor annoying young ladies who control every step of their gentleman, persistently call and look for meetings. Excessive persistence of ladies, as a rule, scares guys and rarely helps create harmonious relationships.
A man’s wealth attracts the attention of women to him, which makes them wonder what exactly attracted his passion: personal qualities or money.
Visiting expensive restaurants and luxurious gifts does not mean at all that a man has a true feeling and is ready for a serious relationship . So that a man has no doubts, it is better to stop increased spending on the part of the chosen one from the very first day of acquaintance.
Optimistic attitude
One of the main qualities of a woman that men value is her positive attitude in any life situation and her ability to treat temporary difficulties with humor. Even a very beautiful female face loses a lot from the expression of eternal discontent or despondency. Such girls seem mysterious at the beginning of a relationship, but soon the partner gets tired of constantly being in the “realm of depression” and he is in a hurry to leave the oppressive environment.
The above does not mean that a woman cannot, when she is having a hard time, share her problems with a loved one or grieve about some painful incident in her life. A loving man, as a rule, never refuses to support his companion and is ready to share her grief, but not in the case when the state of stress completely floods their joint existence and becomes prevalent.
A girl who respects herself and her position in a couple will never allow her loved one to feel rejected just because her thoughts have taken a negative direction. The problem will be solved faster if the girl is able to motivate the guy to solve it, and only someone with positive thinking can do this.
They radiate happiness
Men do not like hysterical, unhappy and problematic women. But most of the ladies are sure that a potential partner is not a person, but a function through which women’s problems are solved. Men, of course, quickly read all this and try to stay away.
Girls, more enthusiasm, spontaneity, love for yourself and the world around you! Don’t burden a young man with your problems already on the first date - he wants to get a buzz from life and being around a woman.
If you are filled with harmony, radiate positivity and happiness, guys will circle around you, fly to you like butterflies to the light. And if you are an overweight, dull, heavy person, you need to do something about it.
Femininity and tenderness
Note. Often, a partner’s ability to be feminine in any situation is honored by men as one of her main qualities. A woman may not be very beautiful in appearance, but if there is no fuss in her behavior, she is capable of empathy and is distinguished by spiritual gentleness, there will always be someone next to her who will appreciate her.
Femininity is sometimes confused with weak-willedness, inability to stand up for oneself and physical impotence. However, these factors are the direct opposite of the truth of femininity. True femininity is emphasized by contrasts - severity and inaccessibility in society, affection and lightness alone with a loved one. An independent, independent woman is an ideal follower of the laws of femininity.
A real woman will always find a way, with her tenderness and sensitivity, to emphasize the importance of a man in her life, to make him feel head and shoulders above the rest.
caring
All, absolutely all men on this planet want to feel that they are taken care of. And no, this doesn’t mean that you have to warm up their bed, blow away dust particles and pour beer into their glass. Everything is much simpler: come and hug him if he is tired or upset, talk and listen (if, of course, he talks about his problems). Agree, it's not difficult? Men need affection too, and sometimes even more than women.
Thrift
A housewife is, first of all, someone who knows how to cook and keep the house clean, but without slavish fanaticism and not to the detriment of her personal needs. The old ideas about the ideal housewife, greeting her husband from work in a clean apron and with a neat hairstyle, have not gone away. As before, a man wants to come to a cleanly tidied house, filled with the aromas of delicious food and see a seductive, smiling woman in front of him.
Progress makes adjustments to the current reality, and now women work on an equal basis with their chosen ones, but thriftiness is still highly valued by men among the qualities of an ideal partner. In order to keep up with the accelerated dynamics of today's life, girls are advised not to deny themselves the purchase of good household appliances and not to skimp on ergonomic devices that can relieve the burden of the daily worries of the housewife.
Good manners
Absolutely all men are always attracted to women with good manners
For most of them, it is extremely important that a woman knows how to behave and is not ashamed to introduce her to her friends. If, while in a company, a woman constantly interrupts her interlocutors, is rude or rude to them, speaks out of place or discusses topics that she does not understand, laughs loudly or tells vulgar jokes, does not know her “limit” of alcohol and generally does not behave comme il faut, all her charm will quickly fade in the eyes of a man
In addition, he will feel embarrassed and ashamed for his girlfriend in front of his friends, so he is unlikely to continue communicating with such a woman. It is no coincidence that Goethe said:
Looseness and sexuality
What kind of women do men like? A controversial issue for a long time has been whether a woman is relaxed in expressing her love for her partner. For decades, girls were expected to hide their interest in physical attraction, and this has left its mark on the sexual activity of women of the current generation. Some people even today are embarrassed to offer intimacy to a loved one or respond to his caresses with all the frankness of their feelings. But does this really matter to the men themselves? The answer is yes.
A man with healthy erotic needs needs to be aware of his own desirability; this is the best proof of his masculinity. If a girl does not strive to awaken her partner’s sensuality and always waits for the first step from him, the fading of love will happen very quickly.
Sexuality and sexual looseness are not synonymous concepts. A woman can remain sexy even in the company of strangers, without creating any specific prerequisites for this in the form of revealing outfits or cheeky behavior. Looseness is permissible only in the marital bedroom, where people can not hide their sensual desires and not care about how it looks from the outside.
Confident
Guys want to date girls who are confident. It doesn’t matter what you look like - tall or short, thin or plump, the main thing is that you consider yourself attractive and feel comfortable in your own body. Believe me: even if the model is embarrassed of herself and thinks that she is ugly, men will think the same.
Ability to inspire
Behind every man who moves mountains, there is his woman, who is disturbed by these mountains while walking. In fact, the ability to inspire and focus on results could be put at the head of the qualities of a woman that men value, but the thirst for praise and encouragement is not a discussed element in the ratings of the stronger sex. The very idea of needing constant support from a lover most often sounds like “devotion,” but without real motivation, the results of a man’s efforts would look less impressive.
An intelligent woman should praise her partner more often, even if the act he committed does not go beyond the ordinary. A husband inspired by praise will do everything not to reduce the level of his importance in the family, and every time he will raise his own bar of possibilities.
An important taboo for a girl who wants to try on the image of the Muse is to never beg for anything from her beloved. Men are afraid like hell to appear financially insolvent to their partners and may lose the “fuse” to move on if they feel that their efforts are not enough at the beginning of the journey.
With your incredible life
Men cannot take their eyes off girls who adore their lives. Yes, you may have a difficult job, money problems and occasional quarrels with friends, but you love it all as much as possible. Your eyes light up, and you greet each new day not with the thought “I’m so tired of everything,” but “I wonder what will happen today.” And most importantly, your life is good without a man, but with him it’s even better.
Attitude to nutrition
An amazing fact: girls who strive so hard to look perfect and are constantly on exhausting diets risk being left without a serious relationship forever. It turns out that when asked what kind of women men like, many answered that their chosen one should have a good appetite and have an understanding of the proper use of cutlery. Girls who are mannered, ashamed, or who consider it indecent to eat with pleasure and to their heart’s content, in their opinion, are incapable of sincerity in their actions, and want to make a tragedy out of everything in life.
By the way, the ability to enjoy food while observing ethical standards is one of the most important tests that wealthy grooms give their chosen ones. Knowing this, girls should reconsider their attitude towards nutrition and learn not to make a whole theatrical performance out of a simple physiological need.
How to increase your importance in the eyes of a man?
How can you increase your importance in the eyes of a man? First of all, to maintain the right balance in a relationship, you need to learn to respect yourself and increase your own self-esteem. It is the lack of self-esteem that prevents you from developing and increasing your personal potential. Almost all people, to one degree or another, have attitudes that belittle their internal significance, that is, a respectful and attentive attitude towards themselves. Therefore, you should not look for ways to increase your importance in the eyes of a man. You need to look for ways to increase your importance in your own eyes. You must influence yourself, first of all, and not another person.
It is important to understand that if you are not significant to yourself, then you will not be so to others.
Increasing significance
Let's list the main ways to increase your importance in the eyes of a man:
First of all, do not consider him the center of your universe and the only source of your happiness. Do not rush to fulfill his demands, adapt to his desires and indulge his whims. Don’t make your favorite idol the meaning of your life. A man always feels this, and your importance in his eyes decreases. Don't let your life depend on anyone else.
Don't agree to concessions that make your life more difficult out of fear that your man will reject you. Do not neglect your needs and wants to please your chosen one. Remember that by trying to gain the favor or respect of a person, you thereby elevate him above you. At the same time, your level of importance inevitably decreases.
Allow your man to “invest” money, time, effort, energy in you. Every normal male has a need to help his mate and be her support. It is vital for a man to solve your problems and feel like a hero. So don't deny him this
And if your partner himself doesn’t think of offering you help, don’t be shy and feel free to ask.
Be sure to pay attention and time to yourself, your beloved. Take care of your appearance, stay physically fit, don’t forget about meeting friends and your own hobbies
Make your world interesting, and a man will definitely want to get into it. Inspire the man you love. Support his endeavors and hobbies, praise him and listen when he talks about something enthusiastically.
Brings happiness
As you can see, the advice is not very complicated and is quite within the reach of any woman. Work on yourself and your relationships. After all, your beloved man’s own value and importance will grow thanks to your value and importance as a woman.
Psychologist's comment
Psychologists believe that the very idea of idealizing a certain set of female qualities is based on a man’s desire to extend his comfort zone to his life partner. From the moment she begins to grow up, society sets before a girl a certain metric of conformity, which from now on she must adhere to in order to be appreciated “at its true worth.” However, all the parameters of this concentrate of beneficial properties turn out to be relative when faced with real life.
The preferences of men vary greatly on all points of the “list of ideality”, and what will be enthusiastically accepted by one representative of the stronger sex will seem unacceptable to another. Some guys like assertive, decisive girls, while others imagine only a weak and defenseless person as their wife. A girl should not, having encountered demands on the path to her feminine happiness that are diametrically opposed to her personal preferences, immediately try to break and remake herself.
Before you start changing yourself for your lover, it is very important to understand his motives. There is a type of manipulator who deliberately creates a strict conformity framework for his partner in order to shift all his problems and responsibilities onto her in the future. Or maybe there really is a prospect of a serious relationship ahead, which may be hindered by the girl’s inability to take the side of her chosen one in some issues.
True love, according to psychologists, gives a person flexibility of consciousness and itself awakens to change in the direction desirable for creating a harmonious union. Therefore, various lists of “ideality” are nothing more than material for familiarization and are not a guide to action.
Igor, 24
I adore girls with a good sense of humor, who can joke themselves and laugh at my jokes. I honestly don’t want to spend my life with a boring and cheerless young lady who has everything on her mind except fun.
Advice: if you don’t know how to make a sparkling joke, watch Russian and foreign stand ups - a sense of humor, as many comedians say, can be trained.
