Couples in which the woman is older than the man no longer surprise anyone, but many people have different questions. To answer them, psychologists have done a lot of work, considering all the advantages and disadvantages of both the woman and the guy.
Why does a woman need a young lover?
To answer this question, experts had to talk with a large number of representatives of the fair sex who were not used to talking openly about their age. There are a number of reasons why women love young lovers:
- Good sex
. Scientists have proven that representatives of the fair sex reach the peak of their sexuality by the age of 35, and men at 20-25 years. As a result, an unsatisfied woman looks for a good partner. - Romance
. Many young lovers are not devoid of romanticism, and they create unusual dates for their adult lovers, which older men are no longer capable of. - Appearance
. There is a widespread belief among people that a woman looks as old as her lover, which acts as a “rejuvenating agent.” - Increased self-esteem
. A young lover helps a woman understand that she is still beautiful and can compete with younger girls. - Power
. Many older ladies start relationships with a young guy in order to realize their maternal instinct. Some people have a desire to rule.
In his mistress, a man sees the romance that he had before marriage
This woman is alien, forbidden - she embodies everything that for a man symbolizes freedom, lightness, vulgarity and desire, that is, those aspects of desires that often cannot be realized with a wife. Husbands present themselves as morally pure beings who rarely think about sex and are even afraid to think about its verbal and narrative manifestations. And then he enters the arena in which he subconsciously and physically feels how to behave with his lover, so he was afraid of losing him: psychology often puts the behavioral model of the divorced spouse above the spouse's model in terms of performance, but who will win in what situation - that's another question!
A rare wife can personify all aspects of a woman: a beauty, a mother, a lover, a nun and a dirty girl, a cook, a seamstress, a cleaner, a psychotherapist... Men allow themselves intimate relationships with others not because all men are so cynical about fidelity and the institutions of marriage. They do this because of their inability to choose priorities, asking themselves what to give priority to: carnal desires or morals and norms of behavior approved by society in relationships? How to act and behave with the husband of another man - a lover, so that he, this very worthy, in the opinion of a woman, representative of his gender is afraid of losing? Psychology provides the answer to this burning question.
How to make a young lover?
The competition among the fair sex is enormous, so it is important to know how to stand out from the crowd. A woman at any age should look 100%, take care of her figure, the condition of her skin, and also understand modern trends and be an excellent lover. For guys, it is important that the relationship be easy and interesting. It is also worth understanding where women look for young lovers:
- Internet
. There are many dating sites and social networks where you can communicate with different people. It is important to consider that there are many scammers on the Internet. - Public places
. You can meet people in entertainment venues, at exhibitions, and so on. - A holiday romance
. According to statistics, more often than usual, women have a young lover during their vacation. In a place where no one knows you, it’s easiest to do whatever you want.
The “simplest” advice for women
A woman, as they say, is the weaker sex, but everything rests on her shoulders. Remember: if you don’t love yourself, no one will. There are a million different tips: how to please a man, I’ll give you just a few. You can choose something you need for yourself.
- Watch your posture: keep your back straight, don’t slouch, keep your chin high (you can practice: put a book on your head and walk straight).
- The most important point: skin and hair must be in order.
- You need to wash your hair often, using conditioners to keep your hair soft.
- Don't button up your blouse.
- Use non-greasy lipstick, men don’t like it when marks remain.
- Buy yourself some nice underwear - it will give you confidence.
- If you have a full figure, clothes should not be tight, avoid fitted ones.
- There may not be a lot of clothes, but they will be of high quality.
- As for communication: give your man more compliments, praise his masculine qualities.
- Try to remember the little things that he likes - this is also important and flatters a man.
- Don’t discuss his girlfriend, or especially his wife, this is bad form.
- Don't say anything about your ailments, sores, and so on.
- Do not impose your opinion, or do it in a gentle manner.
- Relationships should be stress-free, free and beautiful, otherwise why are they needed?
Young lover - pros and cons
Every situation has its own advantages and disadvantages, and when analyzed, one can understand their benefits. First, you should find out what is good for a young lover: romantic relationships, personal freedom, the feeling that a second youth has arrived, interesting communication, increased self-esteem and a chance to start life on a new page. In addition, women who are in love with a younger man look younger and more attractive. As for the shortcomings, these include condemnation from the public and relatives, different views on life and the failure of the partner.
Communicate correctly to retain
Snatching the biggest piece of the birthday cake is not a big deal. But then how to keep a young lover?
A guy at any age – don’t care if he’s young – needs freedom. Or at least the appearance of it. But do you and I know how to create it? By the way, this is an advantage over young and green girls who are ready to cause a scandal or throw a tantrum for any reason.
Therefore, when communicating with him, you should not show excessive jealousy, reproach him for something or control him. Try to be that calm haven in which he wants to stay, even for a while. After all, you don’t want this lover to stay with you forever? I remember the example of Samantha from the movie Sex and the City. She even gained weight and almost completely lost herself when she dated her young protégé for too long.
By the way, it wouldn’t hurt to have one and give him reasons for jealousy from time to time. But the main thing here is not to overdo it and be sure to look at the character of your partner. What if your chosen one might leave you because of this?
But you don’t intend to break up yet, so organize a stormy, passionate, regular intimate life for him. Let it be piquant. This is what guys are often looking for when they meet mature ladies.
However, you need to communicate competently. So that she will always remain mysterious to him. Otherwise, the relationship will turn into a quagmire, and it’s not far from the swamp, and he will want to get out in a panic.
How to keep a young lover?
To prevent a guy from being tempted to covet other girls, it is necessary to take into account some rules.
- Freedom is important for men at any age, so you should give up excessive control, jealousy and reproaches. Various quarrels can negatively affect relationships. Learn to calmly solve problems and seek compromise in different situations.
- Sex with a young lover should be passionate, varied and regular. Remember that you need to periodically add variety to your intimate life.
- Men are hunters, and you can make your chosen one jealous. It is important not to overdo it in this situation.
- A woman should always leave intrigue behind her to keep things interesting, otherwise the relationship will become boring.
How to behave with a young lover?
Psychologists give effective advice to help build a relationship with a guy.
- A young lover of a married woman must value his chosen one and be afraid of losing her. To do this, you need to keep him under slight tension, for example, by periodically refusing a date.
- When dealing with a young partner, you should avoid predictability, as this is the most common reason for separation in such couples.
- One of the important rules of strong relationships is respect and admiration, which is very important for representatives of the stronger sex at any age.
- When figuring out how to attract a young lover, it should be noted that for a strong relationship it is important to be a friend and support for a man.
How to communicate with a young lover?
The age difference often becomes the cause of many problems that manifest themselves in communication and this is associated with different interests. It is important to build a relationship with a young lover as an equal, since few are willing to submit to women. It is necessary to understand his interests in order to “be in the know.” Communication should not include any reproaches, much less any hints of age.
If you want a serious relationship
In addition to the fact that a woman must build a relationship with her lover, she must remember about secrecy so that her spouse or simply a man with whom she already has a relationship does not find out about the relationship. In any case, no matter what plans a woman has for her lover, he should fall in love with her, as they say, “head over heels” and tie him to her. Everyone knows that the ideal woman should be a good housewife in the kitchen, a lady in society and a skilled lover in bed - these are the components that must be adhered to. More specifically,
- You should share your lover’s hobbies; it’s even better if you have a common hobby.
- If you plan to create a strong relationship, then in this case you already need to listen to the opinion of your lover, consult about any purchases, changes, appearance.
- There is no need to get carried away with causing jealousy, as this can create the image of a frivolous woman who is not suitable for marriage and starting a family.
- You need to carefully monitor your appearance. A woman should be well-groomed and smell delicious. You don’t need to be banal in bed, give pleasant surprises more often: massage, erotic dance, or you can buy beautiful underwear. It is useful for women to make it a rule to talk with a man about erotic fantasies and bring them to life. Men like to be praised and given compliments.
- A man should be admired, told how strong and brave he is, how dear and important he is. Being a friend is also very important. A lover should trust his secrets and secrets to a woman; talking sincerely and frankly should not be a problem.
- A woman should always have some zest, a mystery. But you shouldn’t overdo it - it’s a twist, not a whole cupcake with raisins! Ultimatums and demands are taboo.
- You cannot discuss wives and husbands, if they exist.
- A woman should pay special attention to what she says. Almost all women talk a lot, and often not to the point. You should choose expressions and topics of conversation with your lover. First of all, under no circumstances should a man be “nagged”; they don’t like that, and such a relationship will only be a burden for the man. Communication should be easy and bring only pleasant emotions.
- As mentioned above, a man needs to be praised, admired, find common interests and talk about these topics, listen to secrets and mysteries, so that the lover always has the opportunity to share his innermost thoughts and express everything that has accumulated in his soul. After all, strong and brave men also have experiences and fears. Sometimes these fears even surprise you.
How to win back a young lover - psychology
In a situation where the relationship has collapsed and the chosen one has left, you should not give up, since there is always a chance to return everything to its place. There are several tips on how to restore relationships in a couple where there is an adult lady and a young lover.
- It is not recommended to be in the heat of the moment and it is better to wait for a pause so that the man begins to get bored and realizes that he has lost something important in life.
- Don't waste your time and take care of yourself to become better and start improving yourself. You need to work not only on your appearance, but also on your internal qualities and mental abilities.
- In order for a young lover to return, you should not pester him with calls and messages, since such behavior only repels him.
- Draw a conclusion from the reasons for the separation and correct the situation in your favor.
Lies have a powerful effect on those who want to be deceived
Men, although they tend to think straightforwardly, do not use metaphors, but they will immediately feel deception. How then should you behave with your lover so that he is afraid of losing you? Practical psychology knows many examples showing that lies have a strong influence on those who want to be deceived. When the truth is revealed, no amount of sexual antics can save a relationship where trust has been lost. Men like to manipulate their wife, children, friends, business partners and even parents, but they themselves will not allow anyone to carry such a fraudulent scheme with them.
How to survive a breakup with a young lover?
In a situation where you have feelings for a man, but the relationship is over, you need to know how to help yourself not to become depressed and return to normal life.
- Find something you enjoy that will occupy all your free time and distract you from bad thoughts.
- You should try to find inner harmony and there are different ways, for example, resting alone helps some, and meditation helps others.
- For an older woman, a young lover can be an excellent proof of attractiveness and sexuality, so it’s worth mentally thanking him and starting a new life.
Why do men go to the left?i
The reasons why men have mistresses are different for each of them. The most common:
- Something is missing in the family. This something could be appearance (for example, a wife has stopped taking care of herself, and a man wants to see a beauty next to him, but is not ready for a divorce). Men are creatures who (for the most part) need a constant boost of self-esteem. How do they evaluate a man in the first place? That's right - according to his companion. A man wants to be proud of his chosen one, and even brag about her to his friends (colleagues, acquaintances). But here we are talking about a normal guy. Not about the one who, due to lack of self-confidence, forces his wife to hide from everyone so as not to be taken away.
Another man in the family may lack understanding. Yes, that's so corny. For example, a man has a midlife crisis or problems at work. He wants to be listened to and pitied. And the wife refuses to understand - they say, “why are you being so naughty? You have a family, you need to take care of it, you’ve decided to get depressed here!” And here a man has a choice - to seek solace in alcohol (yes, do you know how many men choose this method?), not to pay attention and sour further without hope of support and understanding, or to find a person who will expose his chest in order to depress on it .
- Nature is calling. There is an opinion that there is a type of man who cannot be satisfied with one woman, no matter how beautiful she may be. A very controversial issue, of course. Because often such people become quite exemplary family men, but only on condition that the “right” woman turns up. If the “wrong” one is nearby, then the man runs to several more. They say about such people that he is crazy - he has everything at home, and his wife is beautiful, but he still runs to the left.
Of course, there could be many more reasons. But the main ones are described above.
How to break up with a young lover?
Often in such relationships, after a while, women realize that they have had their fill of “young blood” and it’s time to call it a day. Many representatives of the fair sex, comparing who is better than a husband and a young lover, opt for the first, and in this case it is important to separate correctly.
- The best solution is to calmly explain yourself to let the man know that there are no more feelings and it is better to separate.
- In some cases, an escape plan will help, that is, you can simply disappear from your lover’s life. You can use this scenario if you are sure that the guy will not pursue you.
- If there is a very young lover and there are feelings on his part, then it is important to do everything so as not to traumatize his psyche. In such situations, it is necessary to explain to him all the advantages and disadvantages of such unions.
If your meetings with a man are frivolous
- You should not talk about family and relatives.
- It is not recommended to fall in love with this man; the relationship should be easy, no matter how it sounds - “consumer”. This attitude will help avoid pain and unnecessary worries in the event of separation.
- Do not give your lover power over you; he should not decide any issues regarding a woman’s personal choice (clothing style, hairstyle and other, more important things).
- Do not refuse signs of attention (gifts, invitations to a restaurant, etc.). Having refused a couple of times, you may not see such impulses again.
If you have plans for a future together, you need to be careful.
Where not to look for a lover
Perhaps, of all the options listed, intimate relationships at work are the most dangerous. It becomes the property of the team, discussions begin, sidelong glances, gossip, which leads to various problems. A married lady can even become an object of blackmail. This will also have a negative impact on your career.
Not the best option is a partner from the circle of acquaintances, friends of the husband and neighbors. It's like a time bomb that will sooner or later explode and destroy everything.
The main question is: why? It depends on where and who to look for.
The time comes when a woman realizes that she needs a sexual partner.
Life is not ideal and lovers are not made only for the sake of love.
Other reasons
- benefits for women's health;
- satisfaction of sexual desires;
- desire to improve your status and financial situation;
- the possibility of celebration, escape from everyday life.
A dizzying romance with passionate hugs and wild sex surprisingly transforms a woman. She becomes prettier, a mysterious sparkle appears in her eyes, and her mood improves.
This is all great, but you need to be prepared for certain difficulties in a spicy relationship:
- you can become addicted to love and destroy the relationships you have;
- the lover will not rush to you at the first call;
- there is a risk of contracting an STD;
- everything secret becomes clear, and sooner or later your husband may find out about your betrayal, which will lead to the destruction of the family.
Not every woman can afford a double life, and you need to carefully weigh all the pros and cons before rushing into the pool of passions.