In the dictionary D.N. Ushakova
RESTRAINTED, restrained, restrained. 1. (·briefly restrained, restrained, restrained). prib. suffering past vr. from contain" title='what is contain, the meaning of the word contain in Ushakov's dictionary'>contain. 2. (·briefly restrained, restrained, restrained). Self-controlled, not expressing openly, impulsively his feelings. “Red cheeks tremble with suppressed laughter.” A. Turgenev. “He was struck by her face, restrainedly cheerful and smiling.” Sholokhov. A reserved person. He is very reserved. She is very reserved. | trans. Not harsh, not offensive, tactful. A reserved answer. The restrained tone of the article.
Restraint Discreet
Restraint as a personality quality is the ability to control one’s thoughts, words, emotions and actions.
One day a student asked the Teacher: - Teacher, recently I discussed the topic of sincerity and naturalness with friends, but as a result, everything was mixed up in my head... The Teacher smiled: - And what is your question? What's mixed up with what in your head? “The most important thing that I cannot understand is the difference between sincerity and naturalness. I think it's the same thing. “This is not the same thing,” said the Teacher. - A sincere person may not be natural, but a natural person is always sincere. - Sorry, Teacher, I still don’t understand. - When you are sincere, you do not hide your feelings. When you are natural, you don’t hold them back. The student thanked the Teacher.
A restrained person is natural due to the fact that he does not need to strain his will every time he needs to hide his feelings and unruly emotions. At any given moment he manifests what his level of consciousness is capable of, he has nothing to restrain. Therefore, it is a mistake to imagine restraint as some kind of inhibition, self-torture of the individual, the accumulation of negative emotions or a series of refusals to achieve due to fear of failure and the subjectively perceived powerlessness that arises in response to this.
However, restraint is not achieved by itself; with a dirty, stupid mind, stricken by pride, there is no point in even thinking about this personal dignity. A mind defiled by pride is not able to listen and hear another person, perceive new knowledge, progress and develop. He wants to speak himself without holding back, and during pauses in the dialogue not to listen to the interlocutor, but to think about what he will say next. A dirty mind is fenced off from the outside world by pride, it feels superior, this means a mind in ignorance. The ability to listen is endowed by a person whose mind is free from ignorance and selfishness, possessing the main quality - simplicity.
Restraint implies purity of consciousness. A person takes an internal exam to control the chatter of his mind. About sixty thousand thoughts run through my head every day. Until a person learns to control his mind, monitor his thoughts, not think about all stupidity, negative things, he will not see restraint. Intemperance in thoughts results in incontinence in words, emotions and actions. It all starts with thoughts, with the tongue they unleash and ends with specific actions and deeds. When a person is accustomed to controlling the chatter of his mind, he automatically, naturally and without any effort always speaks to the point, limits himself to a minimum of words and enters into a conversation only when his response is needed. Empty conversations exhaust any person, taking away a colossal amount of energy from him. Restraint helps save emotional energy and redirect it to the right things.
So, restraint presupposes asceticism of the mind for simplicity, control of thoughts, and the development of purity of consciousness. The structure of restraint is completed by asceticism of the mind towards purposefulness and concern for the good of other people. If a person has a goal, he knows what should and should not be done. A restrained person, having gone through all the above-mentioned ascetics, learns the art of respecting other people, recognizing those around him as worthy individuals. This is a fundamental point. Restraint does not mean entering the role of a person with iron nerves, suppressed feelings and stifled emotions, an understanding interlocutor. Restraint is seeing another person's dignity, respect and tolerance for him.
A restrained person is a reasonable person. Like other people, he has to face difficulties, extreme situations, difficult life circumstances. There is a certain period of time between the stimulus and the reaction to it - this is the time to choose how to react to situations. Reason means choice. A restrained reasonable person is free to choose, and he always chooses whether to do it or not to do it, he never acts automatically, mechanically, he always chooses. Possessing purity of consciousness, it is quite easy for him to do this. The Egyptian proverb says quite rightly: “The wisest is the one who knows how to subordinate his feelings to the dictates of reason. Both a fool and a wise man can become angry, but a fool blinded by anger becomes a slave to his anger. In the heat of rage, he himself does not know what he is doing, and all his actions turn out to be evil for him.”
During the reign of Paul the First, the duty of one of the court lackeys was to unlock the door when the sovereign passed to the half of the empress. This happened regularly at six o'clock in the morning. One day Pavel arrived a few minutes earlier. He sees: there is no footman. The Emperor flared up with anger. And the footman went into another room, but, hearing footsteps, he hurried to his place. Pavel raised his stick at the footman. The footman hastily took his watch out of his pocket, brought it to the emperor and said: “Sire!” Now it’s still five minutes to six... “I’m sorry,” the emperor answered, lowered his stick and, without a shadow of the anger that had raged in his eyes just a second ago, calmly entered the door opened by the footman.
Many vices are “mowed” under restraint. A simple example. A man and a woman meet. He initially intends to introduce her to the “herbarium” of his numerous victories, but behaves “with restraint,” knowing that such a line of behavior often brings much greater and quicker results than haste. He is sure that the woman will not withstand the temptation and will fall into his arms. Where there are selfish and selfish interests, restraint does not dwell. You need to call a spade a spade. Depending on the context of the relationship, this could be hypocrisy, deceit, treachery, greed, in a word, any of the vices or a group of them.
Restraint is based on equality and respect. Wrong relationships develop at first rapidly - “and I throw myself into love like into the sea,” and then unhappily. Real, correct relationships develop initially restrainedly, and then happily. Restraint involves not jumping over stages of relationship development. A woman, for example, has not yet gotten used to a new acquaintance, does not know anything about him, she wants to gradually and restrainedly move towards rapprochement. And he already treats her as if they were newlyweds on their honeymoon.
Restraint has nothing to do with being withdrawn, sullen and withdrawn. A reserved person respects people and therefore behaves naturally and at ease, showing good manners, courtesy and friendliness. His speech is rich and his movements are expressive. He knows how to listen to people and does not care too much about his importance and significance. On the contrary, without attracting undue attention to himself, he allows people to confirm his importance. Such an interlocutor arouses interest. He could only say a few sentences throughout the evening, but in the memory of those around him he will remain a charming and excellent conversationalist. Vividly demonstrated restraint, if it manifests itself in a wide range of situations, is called “equanimity.”
A restrained person is not inclined to make hasty decisions; when asked by his opponent, he often answers: “I’ll think about it.” He will always think before speaking. In a company of egoists, everyone thinks about how to take the floor so that they can hear him and see what a significant person he is. A reserved person does not need this; he likes to be alone and think, but he also feels comfortable in the company of one or several friends. He does not like empty conversations and is distrustful of people who lavish compliments left and right. In a word, restraint likes not to talk, but to listen, to have several friends, to communicate in a company of one or two people, to work silently, and to be wary of rewards and praise.
Petr Kovalev 2013 Other articles by the author: https://www.podskazki.info/karta-statej/
In the Dictionary of Synonyms
cautious, cold-blooded; moderate, calm; fulfilled, non-categorical, phlegmatic, philosophical, self-possessed, not quick-tempered, suspended, self-controlled, knows when to stop, imperturbable, icy, inhibited, calm, precisely calculated, economical, stopped, restrained, cold, curbed, weakened, unenthusiastic, dryish, phlegmatic, dry , balanced, dispassionate, hidden, modest, stingy, sedate, reserved. Ant. intemperate
In what cases is the word “restrained” written?
You should write “restrained” with one “n” if the word is a short passive past participle. The lexeme in question was formed from the verb “to hold back.” The participle is expressed in the neuter and singular form. The sentence answers the question “what has been done?”, denotes a sign of action and performs the syntactic function of a predicate.
Example sentences
Consider sentences with the short participle “restrained”:
- I guessed that his promise was unlikely to be kept.
- Research should not be limited to limits that leave no room for imagination.
- The word was kept: Sasha bought bread, washed the dishes and did his homework.
- The outbreak of political conflicts was temporarily contained.
In the dictionary Complete accentuated paradigm according to A. A. Zaliznya
restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, restrained, more restrained, more restrained, more restrained, more restrained
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In what cases is the word “restrained” written?
It is necessary to write “restrained” with two “n” if the word acts as an adverb (“how?”). According to the spelling rule, as many “n” are written in an adverb as in the adjective from which it was formed.
Thus, the analyzed lexeme comes from the full adjective “restrained”. This means that the doubled consonants “nn” are preserved. In a sentence, this attributive adverb performs the syntactic function of an adverb.
Similar article “Patience” or “patience”: how to spell it?
Note! In rare cases, the word may be a short neuter adjective "restrained." The spelling of the adjective from which this word was derived is also preserved: “restrained.” Answers the question “what?” In this case, “o” will not be a suffix, but an ending.
Example sentences
Let’s read the sentences in which the adverb (short adjective) “restrained” occurs:
- Andrei bowed reservedly and left the room.
- Mikhailov said with restraint that he would try to find someone.
- His movement was restrained, but no less graceful.
- The public reacted very restrainedly to the actions of the authorities.
- Pavel approached his brother, they hugged restrainedly and went into the house.
- She nodded reservedly and didn't even look at her friend.
results
After this, the subjects were asked to rate the people they watched in the video on characteristics such as intelligence and emotional competence. Women who paused more than a second before reacting scored lower on both of these measures compared to women who responded immediately. When assessing men, everything was exactly the opposite. The researchers suggest that these results are due to the fact that there is a stereotype of women as naturally more emotional beings, so a delay in expressing emotions can be seen by others as a tendency to manipulate and calculate.
To summarize: women who openly express their emotions are not taken seriously, but restraint is no better. So you may or may not be emotional! Either option is bad, so it's best to do what you think is best.
Based on materials from: nymag.com
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