Any friendship, romantic relationship, work, simple communication start with getting to know each other. It is very difficult to establish a strong connection with a person you do not know.
It is the first communication with a girl that shapes your impressions of each other. Therefore, this stage should pass without errors.
If you have an innate sense of tact, correct manners, charisma and oratorical abilities, then it will be very easy for you to meet people. But not all men can boast of such skills.
It is for those who do not know or do not understand how to meet a girl that I decided to prepare a simple guide to winning women’s hearts at the first meeting.
As you know, meeting for the first time is a very exciting and stressful event. Even the very thought of a possible refusal causes shock and fear . Because of this, many men refuse to meet girls and have relationships for a long time.
Few manage to overcome themselves and their fears in this matter. I believe that the culprit for this whole development of events is precisely inexperience and ignorance of the basic rules when meeting young ladies.
In fact, meeting beautiful strangers is very easy. To do this, you don’t need to be an experienced pick-up artist, although they once started the same way as you.
This and much more will be covered in my advice, which is based on my personal experience and research by professional psychologists and sexologists.
The right attitude
Before you start meeting people on the street, you need to work on your psychological attitude. The main obstacle for most men is the fear of rejection. By the way, it is completely justified - according to statistics, only 2 out of 10 attempts at street dating are successful.
Be prepared for the fact that you cannot avoid rejections at the initial stage. So that your self-esteem does not suffer, perceive the process as an exciting study. If you drive a car, remember the first time you got behind the wheel. It was scary, my body didn’t obey, my legs were shaking. What conclusion did you draw after this?
Surely you have decided that you don’t have the skills yet, you need to practice more, and then each time riding will become easier and more enjoyable. What would happen if, after the first unsuccessful attempt, you began to consider yourself a good-for-nothing loser, fell into despondency and swore never to drive the wheel again? That's right - you would still be walking.
Dating is also a skill that requires practice, experience, and feedback. After each failure, repeat the mantra to yourself: “It’s okay, I’m just learning.” Over time, negative experiences will be replaced by positive ones, and you will begin to enjoy meeting any girl.
Collection of information
Start by collecting information. Find out everything you can about her. The main thing you need to find out is whether she has someone or not. Chat with mutual friends, if you have any. Just don’t be stupid and ask directly: “Does Lyuska have someone?” very stupid.
Start a neutral conversation and ask for the necessary information in passing. If you know her friends, that's a win! Find out her preferences, interests, what flowers she likes. Maybe she is allergic to lilies, and that’s what you decide to give her.
If there are no mutual acquaintances, it’s a disaster. But not critical. Find her on social networks and see what attracts her. Usually, women like to post what they live. You will understand what she is like and it will be easier for you to approach her.
How to approach a girl and start talking: 3 dating strategies
Let's move on to practice. Read about the lines of behavior and choose one to start with. And when you master all three, the question of “how to meet girls” will be solved for you.
Partisan
The most winning, safe, universal strategy. If you are shy or afraid, she will help you preserve your self-esteem. The point is that you start with neutral small talk, using the context of the situation. Situations can be dictated by circumstances or created by you. For clarity, I will give 4 examples.
- You noticed a girl at a bus stop and decided to meet her. Come and ask about the route and schedule of the bus you need. Or ask for directions to your destination.
- The classic option is to offer to help carry heavy bags. Just don’t snatch them from her hands, otherwise she will decide that you are a robber. You can offer an umbrella if it’s raining, or walk her home if it’s dark and scary outside. Any relevant help will do.
- Ask where your loved one bought her handbag/blouse/chain, etc. Your sister’s birthday is coming up soon, and you would like to give her the same one.
- Sometimes the girl herself can give you an idea for a conversation. For example, she is walking with the dog. Come over, ask permission to pet her pet, ask about the breed - girls are willing to talk about what they love. Instead of a dog, there could be a book, a portrait of your favorite band on a T-shirt, or an interesting and unusual accessory.
The advantage of this strategy is that you can “test the waters” before openly expressing your attraction and intention to meet. By the girl's reaction to your first phrases, you can easily understand whether she is attracted to you or closed.
If she smiles, willingly carries on the conversation and shows interest, move on to the acquaintance, the green light is on for you. If the chosen one answers in monosyllables, looks to the side or through you, and her face is gloomy, turn off the fishing rods.
It is possible that you will also stop liking Madame during the conversation. Then you can politely bow out and go home, while preserving both your and her nerve cells.
Straightforward
This strategy is for those who do not like to pull the cat by the tail, but prefer to get straight to the point. The likelihood of getting rejected using this method is much higher - be prepared for this.
So, you have identified a “victim” and are ready to bring down all your masculine charm on her. If she walks down the street towards you, try to catch her eye and smile. When you reach the beauty, stop, but not blocking her path, but slightly to the side. If you are walking in the same direction, first catch up with her and walk a few steps side by side.
Never talk to a girl from behind her back. And especially don’t grab her hand or shoulder.
Start your acquaintance with a greeting. Speak in a friendly and enthusiastic manner and smile. Leave all your importance and pompousness at home - don’t talk to the girl as if you’re doing her a favor.
At this stage, it is very important what image the girl draws in her head. The worst option is if she decides that you are an indiscriminate womanizer or a would-be pick-up artist who meets everyone in a row in pursuit of quantity. These people can easily be recognized by their casual tone, impressiveness, hackneyed phrases and smug grin. They cause nothing but ridicule.
Ideally, the girl should get the impression that you are a self-sufficient and sought-after man who is simply going about his business and is not planning any acquaintances, but suddenly sees HER. This is how love stories begin in many films, have you noticed? Every representative of the fair sex considers herself unique and dreams of a man who will see the “zest” in her at first sight.
I will give examples of what you can say to a girl to achieve this effect. By the way, slight embarrassment will play into your hands; you shouldn’t be ashamed of it and try to hide it.
- “You smile so charmingly that I forgot where I was going.”
- “I still haven’t figured out what to say to you to get to know each other. Let’s pretend that I’ve already said this.”
- “I’ve never met someone on the street, but today seems to be a special day.”
- “Forgive me for my tactlessness, but I won’t forgive myself if I don’t find out your name.”
- “I liked you so much that I couldn’t help but share this information with you.”
- “What have you done to me? I’m worried like a student before an exam.”
- “I don’t know what to say in such cases... Maybe we’ll just have coffee together?”
I'll tell you one more secret (may the girls forgive me). If you meet two friends, one of whom is noticeably superior to the other in beauty and showiness, approach and express your sympathy for the simpler one. If you liked it, of course, you shouldn’t do this out of idle curiosity. The effect will be simply stunning - you will blow her away.
Watch this video, there are a lot of useful tips.
Daring
Strategy for the bravest. Its danger is that in case of failure, you can not only run into refusal, but also cause aggression towards yourself. But such a risk is more than compensated for by a hefty dose of adrenaline.
You need to act on the verge of self-confidence and arrogance. You can even neglect the rules of politeness and turn to “you”. Your goal is to evoke emotions in the girl, “break” the pattern, and confuse her. And while she has not recovered from the shock, quickly move on to acquaintance.
I will give examples.
- Sit down next to the girl on the bench and say calmly: “I’ve come. Aren’t you tired of waiting here for me?”
- After passing by a stranger, turn around and ask: “Why did you pinch me?”
- Look at the girl for a few minutes without looking away, and then say: “Why are you looking at me so intently?”
The last stage - 5 rules for successfully continuing a conversation
When you have already approached correctly and started a conversation, you only need to follow a few more rules:
- If you met based on a common interest, continue to develop this topic.
- If under other circumstances, find out the girl’s interests by asking her various questions. Don't be afraid to ask - this is the surest way to continue the conversation.
- Be interested, but not too pushy.
- Don't lie or pretend if you don't know what your girlfriend is talking about.
- Use humor. Be cheerful and cheerful, but without vulgar jokes.
Common mistakes: what not to do
Let's figure out what pitfalls await newcomers at the beginning of dating and how to avoid them.
Compliments - friends or enemies
You should be careful with compliments when dating. Until the girl reveals herself to you as a person, the only thing you can compliment is her appearance. And this is a minefield. One wrong word and boom! – she turns away and walks off into the sunset with a dissatisfied face.
To prevent this from happening to you, read the following phrases and forget them like a bad dream!
- "You are cute".
In the hit parade of anti-compliments, the word “pretty” takes an honorable first place. Girls hate him! And all because there is a cherished word “beautiful”. So say it.
- “I like your feet/fingers/hands/ears, etc.”
Compliments to certain parts of the body sound too impersonal, and sometimes even condescending and vulgar.
- “You can drown in your bottomless eyes.”
Avoid cliched phrases and poetic exaggeration. They give the impression of being home-made by an experienced womanizer who meets 10 girls in a day.
I’ll share with you a little trick on how to please a girl without resorting to standard compliments. It's all about the right presentation. The compliment should not be your words themselves, but the conclusion that the girl will draw from them.
For example, you can start your acquaintance like this: “Have you by any chance acted in a jewelry commercial? I think I saw your picture in a store window.” The girl will be pleased that you mistook her for a fashion model, because only the very beautiful ones are featured in advertising.
You can play on female psychology. Most girls 20+ strive to look younger. Play along with them! You can ask what course your chosen one is studying in if you see that she is no longer a student. Remember to be genuinely surprised when you hear her real age.
Phone number at any cost
The main goal of meeting people on the street is to please the girl and make her want to continue communication. If you succeed, she will happily leave you her phone number.
But some men confuse cause and effect and try at all costs to get the coveted number from the girl, as if it were the code to a safe with a million dollars. Persuasion, manipulation, pressure on pity, appeal to conscience and even threats are used. Never do this, men - it humiliates you.
The golden rule of all dating is don’t be a beggar. Respect yourself and your girl!
One guide for novice pick-up artists advises immediately checking the phone number for accuracy when making a call. Girls, they say, are so insidious that they can deceive. Yes, this happens. There are usually two reasons - the chosen one is afraid to hurt you with a direct refusal, or you got her so tired of persuasion that it was easier for her to give up.
In any case, there is no need to try to bring her to light, like a naughty child. This will not add sympathy to you.
If you don’t praise yourself, no one will praise you
This point is about such an irreplaceable quality as modesty. Please do not confuse it with self-doubt; these properties have nothing in common.
During dating, there is a great temptation to tell the girl about all your achievements and strengths. My advice to you is to keep this trump card up your sleeve, it will come in handy.
Imagine that a stranger, out of the blue, tells you that he is a great specialist in his field, who has no equal in your city. What do you think about him? What if you learn the same information after a while not from him, but from mutual friends or from the media? In which case will the effect be stronger?
Not only does praising your loved one devalue your merits in the eyes of another person, but you also acquire a reputation as a braggart and an arrogant person. And much of what you and your mother are proud of is of dubious value to a stranger.
You can share your successes if there is a request from the other side. For example, you and your girlfriend start a conversation, you say that you play sports, and she asks about your successes in competitions. Here you can safely talk about your achievements. But without fanaticism, please.
Such valuable universal human qualities as intelligence, beauty, nobility, kindness should never be declared in words! A new friend should discover them in you herself.
“I didn’t want it to hurt!”
Learn to lose with dignity. If a girl refuses you for some reason, do not try to mentally humiliate and devalue her. And even more so, don’t throw out all your indignation on the poor guy with the phrases “what a fool,” “you’re terrible yourself,” “a queen has been found,” etc. Accept the fact of defeat and draw conclusions for the future. Otherwise you will never learn anything.
Be friendly and confident
The secret to successful dating always comes down to the right body language. Therefore, when you approach a woman, keep your head raised, straighten your shoulders, as if you are reaching the top of your head towards the sky and smile. By exuding confidence and friendliness, you will endear yourself to others.
So, the best way to meet an unfamiliar girl on the street is to immediately approach her. Many guys are afraid of this and miss thousands of opportunities. They are afraid to approach, so they prefer to wait for the “right moment”, which never comes.
Additionally, many guys are afraid of appearing shy, awkward, or clingy. Girls feel this anxiety very well and instantly lose interest.
Instead of hesitantly marking time, act like this: follow the “two seconds” rule. As soon as you notice an attractive girl, approach her within two seconds, this will not leave you time for doubts and stupid thoughts.
Useful materials on the topic
Below I will tell you about the best relationship courses for guys. They will teach you how to properly look for a girl, get rid of fears and insecurities.
How to build a relationship with a girl
Description. I like Vinilov’s novel courses, I like his approach. The teacher will teach you not to play some role and pretend, but to be yourself, real, and tell your beloved sincerely about your feelings. And at the same time, understand the girl, make her truly happy in her relationship with you.
You will learn what distinguishes men who are always liked by girls and whose lives are filled with happy relationships, from those whom girls constantly leave. Moreover, external beauty, strength or money do not play a special role here.
The course is also suitable for those guys who have already been “burned”: they broke up with their beloved girlfriend or, after several failures, fell into a stupor, lost self-confidence, and despair.
Author: Roman Vinilov.
Cost: 3,500 rubles.
School link
Escalation of touches from Egor Sheremetyev
Description. One day I went to my friend’s VKontakte page and saw in his added videos a video with the title “When you can start touching a girl.” I would never have thought that guys would ask this question; it seemed to me that everything happened somehow by itself.
Later, while analyzing dating courses, I came across this material. Egor Sheremetyev tells the guys how to properly touch girls. How to do it without being rude or looking like an animal. How to talk about your feelings while touching your loved one's body. Perhaps these questions are really worth studying.
Author: Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: 5,750 rubles.
Find out more and sign up
How to meet and seduce a girl - 100 questions and answers
Description. According to the author, this course contains the most popular questions from guys who come to his relationship courses. The most popular and problematic. When you get the answer to them, it will be easy for you to meet girls, bring them home, and make love.
The course format is a recording of an online seminar. Total duration – 4 hours. This course can be purchased if you have already started dating an incredibly beautiful girl and are afraid of ruining something in the relationship. And, of course, you don’t have time to study extensive courses.
Author: Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: 997 rubles.
Find out more and sign up
Men's intensive
Description. Egor Sheremetyev's intensive is suitable for men of any age. And it doesn’t matter whether you have a girlfriend, or are single, or have been married for a long time.
Everything is studied here. Starting from the first date with a girl to intimacy with her. Egor will teach you how to dress correctly, find topics for conversation, and easily move on to a stable relationship.
Much attention is paid, of course, to intimate issues. If you can't please your girlfriend, it will be a serious problem in the relationship. In my opinion, after purchasing this intensive course, you don’t have to buy any more courses or books. Read the guys' reviews on the material page - make sure.
Author: Egor Sheremetyev.
Cost: with all bonuses, the program costs only 4,990 rubles.
Find out more and sign up
For the night: where to meet a girl for sex
All ages are submissive to love, and a stable and strong erection is temporary. Before love unexpectedly arrives, have sex. You might even find a lover.
All women do this
Everyone appreciates good sex. Many people prefer to meet in the “no obligation” format, and girls are no exception. Each has its own reasons. Some people want to try themselves in the role of a sophisticated vamp who changes men like gloves. The other is simply yearning without tenderness, and is ready to sacrifice principles. Third... Listen, what difference does it make to you? Just write it down in your subcortex: women want it, and more than you think. And many of them prefer one-time sex. Question - where can I find one?
Where to meet for sex
It’s not difficult for a professional pick-up artist to take a girl to bed even from the library. The rest go to a club or to dating sites for pleasure. The efficiency is high both there and there. And don't be shy. You have the right to any whim. In addition to the usual dating portals, there are thematic ones: don’t waste time on Mamba, when there is a “black” one, if you like it rough, and so on. Let's talk about online dating in more detail, since it is this method of gender communication that is becoming a leader today.
Place of study5
The same applies to the place of study. The girl you like will definitely meet more than once. You can find a sea of mutual friends who will be happy to introduce you.
Ask her to explain difficult material to you, ask her to copy a lecture - you never know what you can find in common with the beauty who studies with you! Even just sitting next to each other on the tape is already a reason to get to know each other. What if you bring a small souvenir? Or unexpectedly please a girl with a ticket to some modern band? Again, the reason could be a walk home together after class. And then you can see the girl off more than once.
Rules of male etiquette
In order to make a lasting impression on a girl, it is very important to be well-mannered and know at least a few rules of etiquette. Good breeding is a rare male quality in the modern world and this makes it very valuable.
The basic rules of male etiquette when communicating with a lady look like this:
- Greeting with a nod of the head. You cannot ignore the nods of other people, even strangers.
- You don't need to use a lot of utensils while dining in a cafe or restaurant. You should limit yourself to traditional forks and spoons.
- For women, it is excusable to be about 15 minutes late for a meeting; this should be taken calmly.
- The lady should be accompanied on her right hand. The height of courtesy would be an offer to take your hand, bent at the elbow.
- You should always let the girl go first, opening the door to the room for her.
- Before sitting down at the table, you need to move the chair for the lady, and then sit opposite her. If a man’s companion wants to leave for a while, you should always get up from the table with her.
- You cannot rest your elbows on the surface of the table unless it is a bar counter.
- You should only smoke with the lady's permission.
- You need to use colognes regularly with a subtle scent of perfume.
- It is an absolute taboo to leave a girl alone at a party and join her friends.
- Traditional roses are usually given only to beloved women.
- You should always shake hands with a girl when exiting public transport.
A gallant and well-mannered man is able to conquer any woman, but it is very important not to overdo it with manners , not to be fixated on them. You can start with a few rules and gradually bring your knowledge of etiquette to automaticity.
Dating on the Internet
We have a large article dedicated to meeting people on social networks and dating sites. There we looked at the differences in communication through dating sites and social networks and gave a lot of practical advice for the first message. The article is called “What to write to a girl when meeting her.”
Lifehack! If you want to meet the girl you like, it is better to go through her pages on social networks, and in the case when there is no specific object of sympathy yet, it is better to choose dating sites. Why - we discussed it in the article mentioned above.
