How to meet a girl if you're shy? In our article you will find the answer to this question.
It would seem that nothing could be easier: getting to know each other. But many guys begin to be timid in front of girls, embarrassed, unable to find the right words. But male and female halves cannot exist separately from each other. Therefore, you need to know how to meet a girl if you are shy. Shy guys need to know what words to say first to get a girl interested. But there is nothing easier than to say hello first. And you don’t need to be afraid that the girl will refuse to listen or that she won’t find something to talk about.
Fighting fears
So how to meet a girl if you're shy? You need to know a few rules. First, you should find the reasons for your fears and learn spontaneity in communication from children. If a number of questions arise, simply find answers to them. The girl refuses - there are others. At the beginning of the conversation, you need to compliment the girl. What to talk about with the subject of your attention? First, find out about the interests of the interlocutor, maybe there are common ones. Having learned what unites you, you should try to make communication easy. Frank relationships can grow from friendship into something more. The main thing in any acquaintance and the beginning of a relationship is to be natural. Saying nice words, shouting about the bright sun and your love at any moment - this can make a guy the most desirable.
Psychological reasons
If you are shy, then you should start with yourself. After all, the reasons for embarrassment cannot be somehow abstract; there are probably some clear questions that haunt you. Therefore, it’s worth starting everything by answering for yourself personally - where do psychological fears come from? What gives you this feeling of uncertainty? After all, most of these fears are probably nothing more than far-fetched. Here are some examples:
- What if the girl refuses/is not interested?
This is fine. Think about it: you meet a random person on the street. There is no one hundred percent guarantee that the first, second, or even fifth girl will have the desire to continue communication. Someone is not interested in starting a relationship, someone has a partner, someone is busy and doesn’t want to communicate right now - the reason here is not that you are not doing something right.
- What if you don't like me?
This is also normal. Remember: not all people are compatible with each other. Even when dating for light flirting, you can easily not get along, let alone dating for a serious relationship. Look around you - people are much worse, much less interesting than you have good relationships.
Remember, it's not about you. It's a matter of compatibility. Only paid pickup courses for advertising purposes can promise a guaranteed relationship with the first person they meet. In life, unfortunately, everything is not so simple. But, frankly, it’s not that difficult.
- What should I say?
Yes, the chance to get confused can be very overwhelming. But for this it is worth preparing and practicing in advance. And then everything is real.
Online dating is a great alternative
If, however, the embarrassment is great, and it is not possible to overcome it very quickly, you can start a conversation using the Internet. If everything worked out, the first acquaintance took place, but there is nothing in common, communication is not at all interesting, which means you need to remain just friends and continue to look for your soul mate. In this case, you need to be prepared for the fact that the usual question “Can I meet you?” Girls' answers can be very diverse. A shy person needs to be prepared for any surprises. It is necessary to consider several options for a girl’s reaction to an obvious hint of a continuation of the relationship. Modest and smart girls usually answer that they themselves are curious about what will come of it. Girls who want to get married, and not find a man who is pleasant in all respects, answer a little impudently that they would like to look at their passport.
Ladies with humor are allowed to meet only if the person proposing is charming. Girls who are honest and open can immediately say in an original way: “I really don’t want to say no, but I don’t know how to lie.” You need to prepare for any answer in advance and not be afraid of it.
Behavior
Naturalness should prevail in behavior. This seems like a very difficult task for a shy person, but remember that being shy is already quite natural. Here it is only important to maintain the right balance, because you can be shy and seem polite, or you can be shy and seem weak-willed, a “rag.” Naturally, you need to strive for the first option; if the second appears, then the girl will not be interested.
Try to smile in a friendly (not rude) way, and don't keep your hands in your pockets or cross them across your chest to give yourself confidence. It's better to come up with some good conversation topics in advance. There are two approaches:
- You can take rather general topics that will give you the opportunity to expand, but will not be too personal
- The second approach is, on the contrary, after a short conversation, start sharing your thoughts on some more global issues (just, of course, avoid slippery topics like politics or religion) or tell some unusual stories from your life that will be interesting to listen to
The second option is more complex and risky, but if you are looking for a serious relationship, it gives you a better chance of finding a soul mate.
And remember - don't put pressure on the girl. You just met her on the street, you don’t have any mutual obligations or serious relationships. Unlucky - that means that’s how it’s supposed to be.
Dating place
Well, now you know what to say during your first meeting, and where and how you can meet a girl? You can meet her in a nightclub, on a dating site or on social networks. Girls who want to make new acquaintances come to nightclubs. The atmosphere of such establishments is relaxing and makes many shy people bolder. But finding a girlfriend here is not so easy. A timid person will be disturbed by a large number of club visitors. You shouldn’t pay the slightest attention to this fact at all. A different audience gathers at the club, and everyone is busy with their own problems. It's time to think about yourself. You need to look good, be able to dance, follow all the rules of etiquette, and be able to stand out among other guys. But the main difficulty is yet to come. There are mostly men in the club, so more than one gentleman can compete for the girl he likes - the competition here is tough.
Don't control yourself all the time
Many people need alcohol or nicotine to become confident around women. Why? They simply remove the block inside their head that forces them to control themselves all the time. However, this can be achieved without the help of various stimulants.
Turn off self-censorship because it's useless. Just enjoy being with girls without questioning everything you say a million times. Don't be afraid of silence. Do not forget about the rules of good manners and decency, but at the same time be yourself - it is not as difficult as it seems.
You'll see - as soon as you relax, communicating with interesting girls will begin to bring you pleasure instead of stress!
- Author: Maria Minaeva
VKontakte network
If this dating option seems difficult, then what should you do? Where and how can you meet a girl? This issue can only be resolved with the help of the Internet. This is what dating sites were created for, because there are a great many girls there and a wide choice. Not all applicants are particularly beautiful; for some, this resource will be the only hope of getting married.
Dating will be much faster and easier if the guy has his own page on the VKontakte network. You can correspond, look at photos of girls, learn about their hobbies and interests.
Meeting girls can happen on the street, in a shopping center, on the beach, in a park. These places for dating cannot be called the easiest. There are a lot of girls there. Therefore, a timid person may be embarrassed by the refusal, and all this acquaintance will take place in front of other applicants, to whom the shy guy will definitely not approach to try his luck a second time.
How can you get to know each other in an original way?
Creativity appeals to many women, but it is very easy to overdo it. Hackneyed phrases from the Internet can cause not a smile, but irritation.
It’s better not to look for an original way to ask a girl to meet you online, but to come up with it yourself - otherwise the stranger will feel pretentious.
How to introduce yourself
The question of how to introduce yourself to a girl when meeting her does not involve many answer options. It is best to introduce yourself with your full or abbreviated name, nickname, if it is available and harmonious.
You can pleasantly surprise a girl with a joke or a compliment:
- Hello, my lady. Sir (name) at your service!
- Hello girl! My name is (name) and I am an expert on female beauty. May I know your name so that I can describe in my book the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.
- Hello, my name is... I need to know your name so that I can ask you out on a date.
The main thing is to maintain a benevolent tone and be natural. You shouldn’t put on a whole performance in front of a girl, it will be inappropriate.
Dialogue
Finding a topic for communication is often more difficult than overcoming fear and approaching a girl. Don’t immediately start talking about yourself, much less bragging - not everyone likes such aggressive marketing. You shouldn’t ask personal questions right away either.
Try to start a conversation in the context of the place and circumstances of the meeting. For example, if it’s a line to the cinema, ask the girl if this is the first time she’s watched this film and why she chose it to watch.
If an acquaintance takes place on the street, you can turn to the girl with a request to help you find your way: “When I saw you, I lost my way. Can you tell me which side is...?”
In the case when a guy decided to introduce himself in an original way, this does not mean that the entire dialogue will take place in the same vein.
There is no need to drag out the conversation for a long time. Offer to exchange phone numbers or social media accounts to continue communication and ask the girl out on a date. The main thing is that the first impression of you will already be positive.
Friends will help
Meeting girls can also happen through acquaintance. This is not a tautology at all, we are talking about parties and birthdays with your good friends. As a rule, lonely girls are sure to meet at such fun gatherings. Such ladies and guys already have something in common, because they were invited by friends. A friend can make the first acquaintance with the person he likes at the request of the young man. The first step will be taken. Now it’s only the turn of two guys and girls who met at a party. Everyone at the party is one of their own, there are no strangers. Therefore, trust has already been gained. In this case, it is necessary to expand the circle of your acquaintances by attending a wide variety of events. You need to be active, go to the skating rink, attend concerts and performances, and walk in the fresh air. After all, water will not flow under a lying stone.
How to find a girlfriend
Good day, dear reader! Here you will learn about how to find a girl for a relationship and how to overcome your shyness. After implementing the advice, you will be able to find a girl despite your shyness and learn to communicate with the opposite sex confidently and at ease.
Very often, young people ask the question: “how to find a girl if I’m shy?” They complain that during a conversation they feel constrained, nervous, and as if all eloquence and topics for communication instantly disappear. Moreover, it is very difficult for such guys to overcome themselves, to approach a girl on the street and start a conversation. If you want to make a positive impression on a girl, you need to develop self-confidence. It is very important not to be shy and behave naturally during a conversation.
How to achieve this, you ask? Remember, friend: you need to constantly leave your comfort zone. For each of us, this comfort zone has its own boundaries: for one person the comfort zone allows one to feel calm and relaxed when speaking in public, but for some it does not even allow them to approach a passing beauty and say “hello”, for others it does not It is difficult to communicate with strangers, and some are afraid to come up and ask for directions or find out the time.
So, in order to expand your comfort zone, you need to make a list of things that are difficult for you to do. The more discomfort they bring you, the more suitable they are. For example, the list might look like this:
- Say hello to a girl on the street.
- Talk to a stranger for at least 10 minutes.
- Get the girl's phone number.
- Approach two girls at once.
- Sing a song in a crowded place.
- Speak publicly.
By following these points, you will gradually expand your boundaries and fight your shyness, you will gain experience communicating with strangers and you will already know what phrases you should use when meeting people on the street. It is important to carry them out in sequence from the simplest to the most complex. As practice shows, 7 days after completing all these tasks, shyness goes away. This method is an excellent “cure” for shyness, because nothing else will help you overcome yourself except practice and effort on yourself. Now you know what you need to do in order to feel more comfortable when starting an acquaintance. Next we’ll talk about how to successfully meet a girl to create a relationship.
What you should know when starting to meet a charming stranger. Treat dating like a game: more tries, more chances to win. You can meet a girl for a serious relationship anywhere: the main thing is a positive attitude, calmness and confidence. It is also important to let the girl understand that you are not interested in anything other than her at the moment.
If you approach a group of girls and ask one of them for a number, don’t make a mistake. In no case should you immediately ask someone else for a phone number if they refuse. The girls' reaction will make you regret what you did.
The stereotype that only dissolute and partying young ladies go to nightclubs is no longer relevant. Nowadays, people go to such establishments not only to sleep with someone, but also to simply relax, chat and dance. So a nightclub should also not be ruled out as an option where to find a girl for a relationship. Take a closer look at your surroundings: perhaps there are also beautiful and pleasant girls in your educational institution or at work. The advantage is that even if you are too shy, you don’t need to look for reasons to get acquainted, because there are so many of them.
You can meet your companion among your friends. The larger your social circle, the more likely it is that one of them has a cute sister. Just meet people on the street. You can go up to an unknown beauty and give her a flower picked from a nearby flower bed and tell her a compliment. This gesture will most likely make the stranger smile and cheer you both up.
Places where you can easily find a girl for a serious relationship
1. The metro is a place where hundreds of beauties are found every day. I advise you to meet at the station that is closest to your home, because if the dating process is successful, there is a high probability that the young lady also lives nearby and you will not have to go to the other end of the city on a date with her.
2. Cafe. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to see a girl sitting alone and drinking tea or coffee in a cafe. She is not necessarily waiting for someone - perhaps she is just resting after a hard day at work. This is a very good opportunity to make acquaintances: the beauty sits alone, nothing distracts her and she is in no hurry. You just need to not miss the opportunity, come up and start getting acquainted. If she reacts positively and smiles, then everything is going according to plan, perhaps she was just waiting for you to approach her, and for you to find what you were looking for.
3. The shopping complex is a wonderful place where you can find a girl: on average, about 30 thousand women visit the shopping center per day - from such a large number of representatives of the fair sex, you will definitely find yours.
4. Hypermarket – this place is also visited by a lot of girls. Here you don’t even need to figure out where to start getting acquainted. For example, you take any perfume, go up to the young lady you like and say: “Hi, I want to buy a gift for my sister, do you think she will like it?” Such an acquaintance can be played out with anything, the main thing here is to act confidently. The advantage of this method is that you first of all talk about distant topics: talk to the girl about perfume or something else, after a while you can ask her name or ask for her phone number.
5. Minibuses or other public transport. For example, you get into a minibus and see a stranger sitting alone - sit down next to her and start a conversation. The important thing is to do this right away. After this it will be much more difficult to do this, the longer you tune in, the more fear and doubt you will have. If you first sit down with a young lady, and only after some time you start a dialogue with her, the girl may guess that you are experiencing fear and uncertainty. So, feel free to meet people on public transport, but don’t hesitate!
6. Pedestrian crossing. As long as the traffic light is red, the girl will communicate with you, the main thing is to choose the right phrases to meet a girl on the street. If the acquaintance goes well, go with her as if you were on the same road and take her phone number.
Here we describe the most optimal places for dating, available to every guy. Even if your entire daily route consists only of work and home, you will probably meet a lot of cute girls along the way. Don’t miss the opportunity, fight your inner complexes and fears, be brave and confident - then luck will definitely smile on you and the best girl in the world will definitely become yours. Good luck!
Interests
If a guy likes to dance even a little, he can go to a dance club. To master many steps, the leader will divide the participants into pairs. This is where you need to not get confused, find the right words. In this case, a banal phrase may be suitable: “Can I meet you?” With such words you can start acquaintance in the gym, where girls also come. If you don’t find the option you need in the gym, then you should try visiting the yoga section at the club.
If a guy says: “I want to meet a girl,” and does nothing, they are unlikely to come to him on their own. He must urgently find something to do that interests him. Now this is not a problem, and besides, the hobby can help in future work. For example, would knowledge of foreign languages or the ability to drive a car be a hindrance? And certainly many beautiful and smart girls enroll in such courses. It will be a great opportunity to make new acquaintances.
Friendly get-togethers
Starting to communicate with a stranger among friends is very simple and easy. You are in a comfortable environment, surrounded by familiar people who will always understand and come to the rescue if something goes wrong. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
At friendly parties and holidays there are usually many girls invited. Your friend can help you meet the guest you like and introduce you to her. Since she was invited, it means she is already known to your friend. That’s why at parties it’s “all our own”, and making acquaintances here is commonplace.
Get carried away!
The more diverse interests a person has, the more interesting he is to others. A passionate person always has something to tell, something to share. He is always busy and can tell others how and where they can have a great time.
For example, many beautiful girls dance. And it often happens that for many couple dances they lack a partner. So become one! So easily and simply you can “kill” several birds with one stone: meet the most charming beauty in the hall, learn to dance well and, in addition, tighten your figure.
You can do other types of training just as well. The more girls there are, the more choice there is and the easier it is to make acquaintances. Yoga classes, sports, foreign language courses, driving - how many places are there full of all kinds of girls?!
Show a little ingenuity and observation, and you will understand how many opportunities a truly passionate person actually has. A concert of your favorite band, a skating rink in the park, the premiere of a play - all this and much more will help you make new acquaintances and become more self-confident.
Be neat!
Sometimes it’s hard to guess where your soulmate will be found, where this fateful meeting will take place: in the park, on the beach, in a cafe. In any case, you need to take care of your appearance. After all, a girl also has to make a choice, and if an unshaven, unkempt, bad-smelling young man in wrinkled jeans appears before her eyes, failure is guaranteed.
Success can be achieved if the guy stands out from the crowd. Clothes should be exclusive, even if not very expensive. It should emphasize individuality.
Phrases for dating
To interest a girl, it doesn’t matter WHAT you say. The important thing is HOW to speak.
It’s quite understandable that a guy should have “homework” with which to start getting acquainted:
- Girl, you look so beautiful that it’s impossible to pass by.
After these words, the young lady will thank and begin to listen carefully to the gallant interlocutor. Another version of the first phrase, which will definitely begin your acquaintance:
—You have very interesting facial features. I would like to chat and perhaps learn more about you.
You can even talk directly about how difficult it is to meet girls, that the guy is not an expert in this. The girl will not leave this confession unanswered. So the first topic of conversation appeared.
You can be completely straightforward and tell the girl that you like her. That’s why there was a desire to come up and chat. A continuation of such a conversation could be a story about yourself, hobbies, work and interests. In response, the girl will have to start a story about herself.
In addition, the guy should know what he should never say to the girl he likes.
A guy shouldn't be corny, saying the hackneyed words: “Hi! Doesn’t your mother need a son-in-law?” etc. You can't use stupid templates like: “Where is the Eiffel Tower? What city is this?
If you're afraid to meet people, make sure you get noticed
In order for a girl to notice a guy herself, he needs to use several effective techniques from pickup truck experts. In their opinion, representatives of the fair sex will not be able to pass by a man who has several qualities:
- appearance – a stylist will help in choosing outfits;
- emphasis on details - this could be a stylish tie, headdress, branded perfume or original glasses;
- non-verbal gestures - the energy of self-confidence and leadership should emanate from a man;
- meta message - we are talking about facial expression, an emotional message, expressed in a confident direct gaze, smile, posture, external calm.
You shouldn’t try to seem different from who a man really is. But all your anxieties, fears, and embarrassment need to be hidden away from women’s eyes, since girls want to see a strong man next to them, self-confident, able to control himself in any situation.
Keep it simple!
Of course, it won’t be long before a guy masters science, just as he shouldn’t be shy about girls. After all, everything comes with experience. You just need to tune in to the fact that the girl you like is not the wife of the president or the queen of England. She is an ordinary person, just like everyone else around her. But a guy doesn’t lose the ability to speak when communicating with his sister or mother. You need to take a simpler approach to the process of conversation and communication. The girl experiences the same feeling of anxiety and fear as the guy. She is afraid to say something absurd, to look funny. She also needs support when meeting a new person.
How do women want to be met?
Girls love to be treated with respect. You should not encroach on a stranger’s personal space, try to touch her, or block her path. Yes, there is an opinion that girls love persistent guys, but such behavior at the first meeting can cause irritation and complete reluctance to continue communication.
Address the girl as she introduced herself, no need to shorten her name in the second phrase of the dialogue. And, of course, in no case should you be rude in response to a refusal.
Rules of etiquette
In any situation, it is important to observe the rules of decency. When greeting someone, you need to stand up, a man should always say the first words to a woman, “let me introduce myself.” If you see an outstretched hand, you should definitely shake it, while you need to look the person in the eyes and smile.
The rules of a handshake, the correct greeting, a set of words that need to be added to a simple “hello” or “hello” - all this is set out in the rules of etiquette that every self-respecting guy should learn. This will distinguish him favorably from everyone else. Gallantry never hurt anyone. Any girl will be pleased when the door is opened for her and let her go forward. To be fully prepared and know how to meet a girl if you are shy, you need to work hard on yourself. Then you won’t have to suffer for a long time and choose, blushing, the right words.
Increase your level in communication with girls
What to do if the guy is shy? Close your eyes and get acquainted. Girls can be roughly divided into ranks. So, start with middle rank if you have never asked women out on a date.
It is with experience that you will gain confidence in your actions and an understanding of how to properly pick up girls. Only in vanilla films do girls fall straight into the hands of men, and there is a spark, an explosion, love. No, if you want to find the one with whom you will have a normal relationship, it is you who must begin your communication. You don’t dream of playing the role of a henpecked man, do you?
