How to interest a man by correspondence: 9 ways

Many girls, looking back at the sad experience of one of the heroines of the well-known work of A. S. Pushkin, continue to believe that initiative is punishable. And in vain! Observations show that it is precisely those ladies who are not afraid to take the first step, even through virtual communication, who have a great chance of a pleasant continuation of their acquaintance.

How and where to meet?

Social media. This is a convenient way to find a suitable person based on age, location and appearance. However, there are no guarantees whether a person is free or in search if he has not set the appropriate status.
Dating sites and apps. Such applications independently select people located nearby and who meet the specified criteria.
Thematic groups and forums. The most natural way to meet each other, guarantees similar interests and many topics to discuss.
Online trainings and online master classes. Teamwork on your personality or project brings you closer than ever. It's quite easy to find your people here.

Article on the topic: 10 best places to meet a man

Important! Don’t delay virtual communication, try to translate it into reality as quickly as possible. Then you will be able to fully assess the character and behavior of a person.

You will learn much more in this article: How to meet a guy.

Attracting attention (comments, likes)

If you don’t dare add him as a friend or write the first message to the guy you like, then you can simply like him, write a comment under his photo or post on the wall.
In this simple way, you can show interest and make it clear that you expect the young man to take the first serious step in his direction. Don’t overdo it with such intrigues so as not to seem like an intrusive girl, because they don’t like that. Drop a hint and let the guy decide on his own.

If you interest him, he will certainly reciprocate your feelings and take the initiative into his own hands.

How to recognize a man's interest?

How to intrigue him, lure him in

Reply to messages within 2-3 minutes. A little anticipation builds interest. Just a little wait, if you disappear for a few weeks, the guy will most likely forget about such an interlocutor.
Try to be more interested in his life than talking about yourself. All people are selfish and love to chat about their plans.
From the first messages, create an image of a positive and wealthy person; no one is attracted to whiners who see problems in everything.

#1. Avoid platitudes

Banal cliches in messages, for example, “Hello, how are you?”, cause irritation and boredom. Guys really value originality and resourcefulness.

You need to write the way you communicate in life. Then unique phrases and words will be associated with you. Don't be afraid to seem strange, the main thing is to remain within the bounds of decency.

#2. Don't even think about comparing him to other men

Comparison always has a negative effect. If you want a guy to become better, never say that there is someone better than him, especially when referring to these individuals.

Most likely, he will deliberately hate them, ignore them, be jealous of them, and definitely will not learn anything good. Suffice it to remember how your parents used your friend or sister as an example, because this provoked quarrels and lowered self-esteem. Important! Even if a man does not show how painful it is for him to hear such statements, it will leave an imprint on the relationship.

#3. Don't talk about your shortcomings

If a man chose you as his girlfriend, this indicates his sympathy. By highlighting your disadvantages, you literally force people to pay special attention to them. At every meeting, he will look appraisingly at the shortcomings and think about them. Why give yourself such a “gift”?

On the contrary, you can point out your advantages. Not plumpness, but juicy beards, not a sad look, but sparkling eyes. Then the guy will look at you with adoration.

Important! No one will love a person who does not love himself.

#4. Look for new topics

To interest each other, you will have to talk about something. Any topic is coming to an end.

To avoid awkward pauses, you can discuss:

pets;
the specifics of his work;
what kind of relationship he wants, what he expects from a girl, how he sees his family;
mysticism;
awkward but funny stories;
features of the horoscope and character of the interlocutor, of course in a comic and light form.

The more you communicate with a man, the clearer his priorities and interests will become. Then it will be possible to talk about your compatibility and more serious plans. Important! The main goal is to impress the guy, but to determine whether he is right for you. Ask what is really interesting.

It might be interesting: how to understand that a man likes you by correspondence.

#5. Don't answer dryly

Dry answers indicate disinterest and formal communication. Emotional responses, on the contrary, provoke the guy to continue the conversation, catch him, and intrigue him. Sympathy is felt even through correspondence, as well as stiffness and detachment.

#6. Call him by name

The sound of one's own name is music to a person. When you pronounce his name, you emphasize his uniqueness and significance in this world. This is why people find it so unpleasant when their name is distorted or their letter is forgotten.

During the conversation, you can ask the man whether the meaning of the name matches his character.

Important! If you didn’t catch the guy’s name, it’s better to ask again than to make a mistake or try to avoid names.

#7. Let him miss you

Any girl is pleased to know that she is missed. The feeling of melancholy when apart makes you appreciate spending time together more.

To make a guy miss you:

Don't tell all the secrets about yourself, extend the pleasure by becoming a mystery girl.
Don't forget about your friends, relatives, business. The guy must understand that you have your own busy life, then it will be even more interesting for him.
Look after yourself even when you are not with him and do not forget about your social networks. If he sees your gorgeous photos, hears friends discussing your image, this will encourage him to be even closer to such a girl.
Stop texting for at least 1 day. Then he will have time to miss you and appreciate spending time alone. The contrast is especially noticeable when you bring positive emotions into a guy's life.
If you are planning a meeting with your interlocutor, you can send a message in the spirit of “I can’t wait to meet you.” Then the guy himself will begin to anxiously wait for this moment.

#8. Add intrigue

The intrigue caused in the correspondence may be connected with you or with his personality. All people are selfish, men are no exception. To intrigue a guy, make him think about himself at your suggestion. For example:

“I realized something about you...”
“Do you know that you have a special character?”
“Did you come to my page?” If he says that it’s not him, you can answer: “But I would like it to be you.”
“Can I ask you a personal question?”

You don’t need to reveal all your cards right away, he should be intrigued. Instead of a quick answer, flirt with your interlocutor. For example, “I don’t even know, I’ll think about whether it’s worth telling you this :)” Then you need to flirtatiously describe the man’s virtues, he will be very pleased.

The intrigue associated with you may look like this:

“I’ve been smiling all day since your message/last night.”
“Today I woke up so early, I decided to watch the sunrise on the roof/in the park/on the balcony.” Extraordinary girls attract much more attention. You also emphasize your energy and interest in your own life.
“Uh, I have a problem...”, then wait for a response from him, and: “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

#9. Don't reply to a message right away

The one who responds longer than the interlocutor seems more unavailable and busy. However, we are talking about 5-10 minutes; it is tactless to respond after a few days.

Pay attention to how quickly the young man responds; if the message arrives immediately, it is enough to pause for 2-5 minutes. If he answers after a few hours, comes in once a day because of work or business, there is no need to hang on the phone. Copy your interlocutor.

Important! A person who always responds to messages immediately appears to be a phone addict. One gets the impression that you have nothing else to do, and besides, the guy will immediately guess that you are “stuck.”

#10. Don't talk only about yourself all the time

A person who talks only about himself unwittingly demonstrates:

egocentrism;
lack of attention;
desire to gain recognition;
fear of being alone, unheard.

This causes boredom and rejection for the interlocutor. A guy who communicates with a girl for the first time does not feel the need to know her mental traumas, all her interests, hobbies. We can talk about this, but in moderation. Give your interlocutor a break, let him also talk about himself. Dialogue is like a game of tennis; the ball cannot be on one side of the field.

#eleven. Communicate regularly

Regular communications show interest on both sides. This way you won’t let them forget about you, you show that you can find time to communicate with a person. At the same time, observe the guy’s behavior; if during the whole day he has not found 1-2 minutes for a short answer, he is not interested in communication.

Hello!

Is it worth starting your acquaintance with this word? Probably, in any situation, it would be logical to greet the person with whom you plan to start a dialogue. The question is, should I add anything to the greeting? Some girls can’t come up with anything original other than: “Hello! How are you?".

Theoretically, you can make acquaintances on the Internet in 2021 in this way: there is nothing complicated.

Especially if the man is open to a relationship, and the stranger who wrote to him has an attractive appearance. Most likely, the guy will answer the greeting and ask some counter question. This will be the beginning of acquaintance.

However, such a simple way to attract attention and start communication has its pitfalls:

Various bots and fakes began to write to many VKontakte users: from representatives of various companies wanting to attract people to their group for free, to drug dealers looking for new clients or couriers for work. Therefore, many men have become immune to the word “hello.” If previously you could meet an attractive guy on VK only by greeting the person, now this no longer works. Previously, it was clear that some absolutely real girl was writing who needed something. Now there is much less confidence in people and faith in them in VK.
Is it possible to be interested in how everything is going in a guy’s life? The hero of one cult film asks: “Are they all interested in how I’m doing?” Another character replies, “No, not interested.” Many guys have roughly the same dialogue in their heads. If an unknown girl wrote a message to a man in which she asked the above question, in some cases she risks running into a wave of negativity or, at a minimum, being ignored. Firstly, the guy may consider that the phrase is of a formal nature: no, a stranger may be interested in what is happening in the life of the man she likes, but he will not devote the first person he meets to the details. Secondly, since the phrase is banal, you might think that the letter was sent by a fake or a bot.
"Hello!" - too informal address. It is well suited for the Internet. On the Vkontakte website, many people switch to “you” without unnecessary ceremony. However, a man who has reached a certain age and position may not like the fact that they don’t write to him: “Hello!”

There is also a completely different experience: many guys, provided that they like the interlocutor, are ready to respond to “Hello! How are you?". Trite, but effective. You can try. And you can show your originality in subsequent phrases if you manage to continue the correspondence.

How can you tell if a guy is interested in you?

Frequent messages. A guy who enjoys communicating with a girl will constantly look through messages, looking for reasons to accidentally write at least something.
Quick response. If a man tries not to delay the message, then his interest in you outweighs the importance of current affairs.
High quality correspondence. It's easy to send a monosyllabic response and conduct a dry dialogue. If a man is interested, he will talk in detail about his affairs, will not forget to ask about your plans, will take an interest in your mood, events and plans, and will even try to cheer you up.
Flirting. Emoticons, kind jokes, compliments indicate his interest in you as a girl. Likes and comments. This is also a signal of interest in you.

Important! To accurately determine sympathy, you need to meet in real life. Guys can be polite on social networks, but completely stingy with emotions in reality.

How to understand that a man is interested in you: the surest signs

Read

10 best places to meet a man.

Read

How to start a conversation with the guy you like in an original way.

Read

Let's look at the reasons why guys don't get to know you.

Read

Preparatory work: before you write

Before surfing the vastness of a dating site, check if everything is in order with your virtual face - a profile that, like the right dress, should emphasize your strengths and hide your flaws. We have already discussed in detail how to fill out a profile for a girl on a dating site in order to leave a clear, succinct and vivid impression of yourself. Read it.

She put herself in order - with the attention of a tracker, she studied the profile of the guy to whom she was about to write, with desperately sparkling eyes. You need to know the enemy by sight. Any profile on a dating site, except an empty one, provides a lot of useful information. In particular, it answers the question of what words to write to a guy first. Cling to the information kindly provided.

What questions can and should be asked, and what not?

To understand as much as possible about a person, you can talk:

about studies, future goals for study;
about hobbies and interests;
About work;
views on future life, family, whether the guy even wants to start a serious relationship;
about family, parents, brothers and sisters, relationships within this family;
what kind of girls a man likes, what he looks for in his chosen one;
what type of vacation does a man prefer? If you like to travel and don’t sit in one place, then being a homebody won’t suit you.

However, it is better to avoid some topics, especially at the initial stage of acquaintance:

ex-partners, relationships;
sexual themes;
political and religious views;
man's income.

Why it’s important to write first: the benefits of initiative

Writing first on dating sites, contrary to the stereotype “the man should make the first step,” is a commercially profitable event. Firstly, there are few girls who “write first”, and the attitude towards them is appropriate - the same reverent attitude as towards rare precious metals. Secondly, you gain the opportunity to choose among EVERYONE, and not among those who wrote to you (admit it, more than 90% of those who wrote are guys of low social demand). Thirdly, this is a useful skill in every sense - to take, and not wait. Once you become skilled at dating sites, you can use them everywhere.

Men's opinions

It is important for me that the girl writes correctly and is interested in communication. I do not accept any kind of manipulation. I never drag out correspondence and I don’t recommend it to girls. It’s better to meet in reality right away, it will be clear whether the person is suitable or not. Spending months on messages and then being disappointed after the first meeting is a waste of time and effort.

Maxim, 25 years old

I love light and cheerful girls. Usually they will make a joke and lighten the mood. The purpose of correspondence is to find out a person’s initial mood, to evaluate his views on life, we still don’t owe each other anything. I don’t continue communicating with those who, from the very first lines, begin to load me with their problems, blame me for not being online, complain about their complexes, or start asking about my income.

Alexander, 32 years old

If I'm interested in communication, I'll always look for a reason to drop a line or two. I am pleased to receive answers, develop dialogue, and flirt. I don’t see anything wrong with a girl writing first, especially if I like her. Interest can be easily assessed by frequent replies, long messages, guys are the same people.

Matvey, 29 years old

Question answer

How to get a guy to text more often?

Often girls take the position of an offended interlocutor. They begin to ask questions like: “Why didn’t you write?”, “Where did you go?” This behavior is very off-putting. Instead of a complaint, use positive emotions: “So glad to see you!”, “How are you doing, I miss you,” etc. Then the man will be happy to log into the messenger.

How to increase interest if correspondence has become boring?

Modern communications allow you to connect photos and videos to correspondence. It’s one thing to write “Good morning!”, another to attach a photo where you smile broadly, wishing a man a good day. Short positive videos and congratulations also evoke much more emotions than text.

The man doesn’t answer, doesn’t write first, what should I do?

There could be several reasons for this. The guy perceives you as a friend, is afraid of seeming intrusive, or is simply not interested in communication. The latter, unfortunately, is the most likely. A frank conversation will help bring clarity.

Psychological techniques in correspondence

Make him feel emotions, show your interest . Guys are also attracted to girls who are not afraid to be funny and cheerful and show their true feelings.
Don’t be afraid to lift your man’s spirits by sending a simple message : “I’m very interested in you” or “Today I remembered you :).” He will be hooked and will end up thinking about you all day.
Don't let yourself be humiliated . If a man suddenly starts writing vulgarities and hints that he wants to meet for one night, playfully but confidently put him in his place. If a guy is interested, he will continue communication in a different format.
Leave room for your interlocutor to act. Write a little less, answer a little less often. Go offline sometimes. The agonizing wait will only brighten up the next communication.
Create a psychological swing. After you have disappeared from the network, be sure to surprise the man and give him positive emotions. Send him a compliment, a good morning wish, share a funny story. This way he will notice the contrast - it’s fun and good with you, but boring and lonely without you.

Media content

Media content is an important section when meeting a guy on VKontakte.
Don’t upload too much content, focus on what interests you the most, because even a harmless video on a page can help you get closer to your interlocutor or, on the contrary, push you away from you. You can add your favorite movie to the media content, thereby showing your taste in cinema, which will also not leave the guy indifferent. When meeting people, many guys pay attention even to such seemingly unimportant sections as groups or communities. They are the ones who characterize a person and show his interests.

For example, if you subscribe to groups such as “1000 quotes from great people”, “Best literature” or “Around the world”, then the guy will conclude that you are an intelligent and educated person.

And if you subscribe to such communities as “Chic and Beautiful Hair”, “Fashion”, “Manicure”, then the applicant will regard you as a fashionable girl who loves to take care of herself and follows trends.

How to interest a male colleague?

Finding a common language with a male colleague is not so difficult; you already have something in common - work. You can send him a message asking for help, invite him for a cup of coffee, “accidentally” drop papers in front of him in the office.

Important! It is better to seduce a colleague after work. During a busy day at work there is no time for chatter, and the man will not take such a worker seriously.

To get a colleague's attention:

demonstrate your sense of humor or wit in a general conversation; positive and active girls always attract attention;
take an interest in the area in which your colleague is knowledgeable, ask him a question on social networks;
don’t forget to look stylish at work, but you still shouldn’t dress up in vulgar clothes with a huge neckline;
do not talk about your sympathy in the team, especially in correspondence with other colleagues, this can compromise both you and him;
find out about his hobbies, invite him to an exhibition, a match;
prepare delicious snacks or sweets and treat your colleagues, including him, quite possibly in the evening he will thank you in a message;
don’t miss corporate events and business trips, especially if your chosen one will be there.

What attracts men to women?

Conclusions on the article

Despite the stereotypes, you have every right to show interest and write first. However, if a man does not initiate a response, you will have to draw conclusions.
You need to communicate politely, competently, and not resort to offensive jokes or swear words. First, become a friend to your interlocutor.
Don't impose. Write in a similar manner as he does, respond with similar frequency, don’t bombard him with a ton of messages and don’t burden him with problems.
Don't be afraid to lift your man's spirits. Even with an acquaintance, it is quite appropriate to joke, give a compliment, and say that you remembered him. In any case, it will be pleasant and make me think about you.

personal information

The main rule is naturalness. Write the truth about yourself and don’t copy others. Enter your data in the section on personal information to avoid incidents in the future. For example, don’t write that you like to draw if that’s not the case. Lying even at the beginning of acquaintance can play a cruel joke in the future. The information written about yourself should be as truthful as possible.

Many people share similar interests, and when meeting people, it is very important to harmonize in this area. Indicate your favorite music, books, hobbies and films in your personal information to find an interesting like-minded person.