How to learn to control yourself

Every reasonable person understands how important it is to be able to control oneself. This skill always comes in handy, be it a critical situation in the family or an unbalanced manager at work.

A state of increased nervousness appears before an important meeting, during a responsible task, when life problems arise, in a quarrel with loved ones, or in any other unusual situations.

This condition is characterized by rapid heartbeat, hand tremors, slurred speech, and reddening of the skin. In conflict situations, a person may raise his voice and even cry.

Possible causes of loss of control

Long-term accumulation of grievances will one day burst out into a serious scandal.

The inability to control oneself may concern a situation when a person is overcome by a fit of anger, overwhelmed by a lot of negative emotions, which he splashes out on close friends and even a loved one. Also, the inability to control oneself and behave with restraint can also apply to cases when, when the slightest problem appears, a person begins to panic, anxiety, he cannot concentrate on anything, and the appearance of hysterics, including tears, is possible.

I bring to your attention common reasons why it is difficult for a person to control himself.

The presence of dissatisfaction with one’s life, which is manifested by the appearance of aggression directed at others. In such a situation, those closest to you, as well as work colleagues, often suffer. Even the smallest irritant can set a person off.
A biased attitude towards the interlocutor is often the source of conflict development.
The presence of a somatic illness can also lead to incontinence and excessive temper.
Nervous stress and experienced psychological trauma can also be a source of problems with controlling one’s emotions.
Having low self-esteem can lead to the need to throw out your negativity, increase your importance, belittling the dignity of other people.
Increased suspiciousness and excessive anxiety are often the cause of an acute reaction to what is happening.
The presence of any kind of addiction is a likely cause of incontinence and excessive aggression.

Distribute responsibilities

Overwork is a common problem, which in itself causes discomfort, and with the accompanying pressure it is quite capable of triggering rage. A sensible approach to distributing your workload or family responsibilities will help you avoid this.

Remember: trying to solve common problems on your own is rarely beneficial. More often than not, instead of rewards, you receive new responsibilities. As they say, “if you did it once, well done, but more than twice, you’re obligated.”

It would be wiser to distribute new responsibilities among team members so that the workload is equal. This will relieve both overwork and justified indignation caused by the lack of bonuses.

Procedure

Sometimes seeing yourself in the mirror is enough to calm down

If you are faced with a stressful situation, you feel that irritation is filling you inside, you feel angry emotions, then you need to do the following:

First you need to take a deep breath and do breathing exercises. These actions help reduce the heart rate and get rid of nervous tension.
If that doesn't help, count to ten to yourself. Time spent counting helps you rethink the current situation.
When anger rushes over you, look at yourself in the mirror, how do you look at the moment, how distorted is your face, how has your facial expression changed? Often what you see allows you to come to your senses.
If this does not help, you can resort to physical exercise. Loads of this type will allow you to get rid of accumulated negative energy and you will be able to relax. So, at the moment of accumulated anger, you can do squats or push-ups.
After calming down a little, try to take control of your thoughts. Try to see at least something good in the current situation, something that will not cause you to have an attack of aggression.

If the steps described do not help you, it may be time to seek professional help from a psychologist. It is possible that the reason for the inability to control oneself is the presence of some kind of psychotrauma, an event that may have happened in deep childhood, it needs to be lived through, and sometimes it is not possible to do it on your own.

It is important to understand that at the moment of accumulated tense emotions, you should not speak out or sort things out. Otherwise, you risk saying a lot of unnecessary things, which you will regret in the future.

Enter a punishment system

Each child was punished for misconduct, disobedience and pranks. Of course, no one will dare to put an adult in a corner, and therefore it is worth introducing a system of penalties for yourself. If, succumbing to emotions, you got into an argument with someone, shouted at your interlocutor, burst into tears after a remark from your boss, be sure to punish yourself by giving up some kind of pleasure. This could be giving up your favorite treat, watching a TV series, going shopping, and the like. This will give you an incentive to exercise self-control.

Adviсe

Develop stress resistance and learn to control yourself

Never try to solve many accumulated problems at once. Such impudence will not lead to anything good; you will only be scattered among many tasks and will not be able to achieve your intended goal.
Try not to think about what has already been accomplished. You cannot change the mistakes of the past. Learn to live for today, not think about possible problems in the future, and not reproach yourself with guilt for what you did in the past.
If you are unable to avoid something, change it, or fix it, take it for granted. Let it become the starting point from which a new path will begin.
If you are faced with a difficult situation that you cannot resolve at the moment, try to switch to something else. It’s great if you find a favorite activity, devoting time to which, you will be able to collect your thoughts and, with a “fresh mind,” find a way out of the current situation.
When faced with a problem, do not rush to act on emotions, try to understand what is happening, look at everything from the outside. You should not rush to react emotionally; it is important to understand that words born in the heat of passion, in a fit of anger, can harm your future relationship with the person to whom they were expressed.
If you often overwhelm yourself with or without reason, thinking that something bad will happen, then in such situations it is better to imagine the worst possible outcome of events in order to make it easier to accept what will actually happen in your life.
Never think about what others will say about you; dependence on other people’s opinions only brings harm. You need to think about yourself, because in reality other people are only focused on their own problems.
Sometimes the inability to control oneself is the result of constantly inflating problems. If you are a person who regularly sees some hidden meaning in everything that happens, then it’s time to change your attitude and stop being overly suspicious.
Think about the possible consequences of your actions. Sometimes a person wants to throw a scandal, express everything that is painful to him, for example, to his boss, but it is important to understand that after this, most likely, his career can be forgotten.
Learn to treat the people around you with respect. This will save you from unnecessary attempts to throw out your negativity on others.
Try to put yourself in the shoes of a person who causes negative emotions in you and provokes conflict. Sometimes this allows you to find the right approach and establish relationships without emotional breakdowns.
Learn not to take everything to heart, react calmer to what is happening. People who overreact to a situation do not always assess it correctly, since the resulting panic and anxiety are confusing.
Do not make excessive demands on the people around you. Sometimes the reason for a surge of emotions is precisely because a person is upset by unjustified hopes. It is also important to realize that you are not an ideal; you should not belittle the dignity of other people by exposing yourself.
Sometimes it is worth introducing a system of punishments for temperament and intemperance.
Don't try to suppress yourself. It is important to understand that negative emotions must come out. In the case when a person keeps everything to himself, he suffers greatly from this. Over time, accumulated negative emotions still break out, however, they cause greater damage, including to the psychological health of the individual.
Develop stress resistance. Sometimes it is very difficult to achieve positive results in this practice yourself. You can seek help from a psychologist.
Start doing some self-reflection. Think about why and in what situations you lose your temper, what throws you off balance, what actions, actions, what people.

Sometimes the reason for the occurrence of uncontrolled behavior lies in the presence of some kind of addiction, it can be alcohol, drug, computer or gaming addiction. And until a person manages to overcome his harmful attachment, he will not learn to control himself.

Knowing how to learn to control yourself, you need to put these tips into practice. Remember that a reserved person achieves greater success, both in interpersonal relationships, in relationships with his significant other, communicating with friends, and in career growth, making new acquaintances, and expanding his field of activity.

Respect your interlocutor

Unfortunately, many people lose control of themselves only because they consider their opinion to be the only correct one. However, your opponent has the same right to his point of view. Someone else's opinion should not be a reason for irritation, but for re-thinking the current situation. Remember that if you tend to lose your temper at the slightest deviation from your planned plan, this does not mean at all that the people around you are not like that. Learn to respect your interlocutor and seek compromises, because an ordinary dispute can develop into a serious conflict.

What to do next

If the question concerns what to do after fulfilling what was promised to another person, just enjoy the degree of responsibility for the obligations taken. This means you are capable of a lot. The main thing is that you have something that helps you maintain respectful relationships with your environment.

And if you managed to keep your word to yourself, then be sure to add this moment to the treasury of your achievements. Yes, each of us deserves encouragement and praise for our work, and fulfilling what is promised is difficult and strong-willed work. Keep a diary, write down your commitment on a piece of paper, and put a tick next to it. And so, step by step, you will achieve more and more. Your success sheet will turn into a platform for the flight of many birds - heralds of your achievements.

How to remove slouching: daily life hacks

Sit on chairs without backrest.
You've probably noticed that it is very difficult to sit on stools for a long time. And all because there is no way to lean back. But it's a great way to strengthen your back. You can also practice on a regular chair with a back, but it will be difficult to resist the temptation and not lean back. Sitting on a chair, imagine that your head is moving upward, like a helium balloon, and your back is a rope. Start with five minutes in this position, and then gradually increase the time.
Be sure to pay attention to your position at the dinner table. When eating, bring the spoon to your mouth, not the other way around. Most likely, when you eat, you try to lean as close to the spoon as possible. But this puts too much stress on the spine.
While working at the computer, watching TV, or using your phone, try to look straight ahead without tilting your head down.
Place a pillow under your laptop. Our head weighs on average about five kilograms. And this is in a neutral position. And if we tilt it forward when we look at the screen, then this weight increases several times. When you tilt your head, the load on your spine and neck increases greatly. And we spend more than one hour in this position. Therefore, if you often sit with a laptop on your lap, then try to place a pillow or just a stack of paper under it.
Lie on the floor before going to bed. Lay down a mat or towel and lie down. Bend your knees, feet pressed to the floor. Place your hands on your stomach and a couple of books under your head. The sofa and pillow will not fit, otherwise the head will fall down and the spine will not be in line with it.
It is also recommended to sleep on a flat and hard surface.
Even if you hear the phrase “straighten your back” in your direction, we do not recommend doing this immediately. Forcibly straightening your back can worsen its condition. It’s better to move towards your goal slowly but surely with the help of a roller and proper gymnastics.

Help yourself physically

In fact, the expression “control yourself” is very apt. Following this advice, at the moment of loss of emotional control, you can try to mentally embrace yourself, as if to keep you from rash and sudden actions. In society, such hugs, especially in a situation where you are under moral pressure, would be inappropriate. But you can still help yourself through simple physical manipulations. For this:

tightly clasp your palms with a “lock”, enclosing the surging aggression in it;
clench your jaw;
move your arms back, holding your elbows behind your back.

A simple comfortable position in which the neck and shoulders are relaxed will also be useful. In this case, it is advisable to look the person causing irritation in the eyes. This way you demonstrate the absence of fear and ingratiation to him, and also emphasize the seriousness of your intentions.

Photo by Christian Newman on Unsplash

Scoliosis support

If there are curvatures of the spine, regardless of the stage (1,2,3) of the disease, it is more difficult to maintain correct posture throughout the day. But this is just as necessary as for any healthy person. The reason for this pathology is often hidden in the constant incorrect position of the body and the deficiency of nutrients and minerals in the body. Contributing factors are also a sedentary lifestyle and prolonged exposure to an incorrect posture at a computer desk. You can get a straight back when diagnosing scoliosis by doing simple exercises:

You need to squat down and walk around the house, imitating duck walking. 5-10 minutes is enough to improve stretching and strengthen the muscle frame.
You need to clasp your hands and throw them back as far as possible. Then squat down and place your hands between your knees. Do 10-15 approaches.
Get on all fours and arch your back as much as possible. The hands should be located strictly under the shoulders. This exercise will make your back much more elastic and stronger.
Lie on the floor and raise your legs up. Place your hands behind the back of your head and begin to imitate riding a bicycle.

In addition to posture, you also need to control your breathing. The axis of the hip joint and the diaphragm should be parallel. This enriches the body and muscle tissue with oxygen.

Constant training and self-control will allow you to develop a habit

Ways to keep your back straight in a chair

You need to start correcting your posture by monitoring your position while writing, working on the computer, walking and sleeping. By noticing the problem, you can begin to correct yourself, constantly returning the spine to its natural position. The correct placement at the table is:

The position on the chair is not complete, but only 2/3.
The back is straight all the time, resting on the back only during breaks.
The legs under the table are bent at a right angle, do not cross, are not on their toes or on their heels, but are placed exactly on the full foot.
The hands are placed on the table along with the elbows.

It is necessary to monitor your spine not only while sitting at the table, but also while walking. The shoulders are pulled back slightly, the abdominal muscles are pulled in, and the foot is fully planted on the ground. This position is considered the most optimal.