Good manners in tandem with politeness attract much more than good looks or status in society. Therefore, many will want to know what it really means to be a well-mannered person. Neither etiquette lessons nor self-development training will turn an ignoramus into an aristocrat. Noble behavior comes from the heart.
The right attitude and attitude towards people is formed in childhood. Over time, good manners become a habit, affecting every area of an adult's life. Although it is difficult to remain gallant in modern society, it is possible.
Good manners presupposes attentiveness, precision and targeting in expressive movements.
When a well-mannered person listens, his face is not frozen, not dead, but attentive, reflecting the state of his partner and promptly expressing those emotions that serve the partner as support and prompt suggestion.
If there is no need to express support and there is no need for operational suggestions, the face of a well-mannered person is calm and neutrally friendly.
Good manners means a certain restraint in expressive movements.
Laughing too loudly and waving arms is not acceptable among well-mannered people.
Another detail in which good manners are demonstrated in expressive movements is their subtlety.
The gestures are beautiful, not with a paw, not with the whole palm, but with living playing fingers, each of which can speak separately. Surprise not by turning the whole body, but by one glance or a raised eyebrow. Subtlety, beauty, aesthetics of every movement are a trait of well-mannered people.
Education and mental health are interconnected. A mentally healthy person acquires good manners more easily; good manners contributes to good mental health.
Author: N.I. Kozlov
What qualities does a well-mannered person have?
When they say about a person that he is well-mannered, it means not only knowledge of the correct manners, but also the real essence of the person. What qualities should a well-mannered person have?
It is worth admitting that in the modern world, being a well-mannered person is a real art. Having self-esteem, responding to rudeness with a smile and keeping your promises is not an easy task.
A well-mannered person is polite, friendly, affable, well-groomed, attentive, punctual, neat, kind, unobtrusive, pleasant, you can rely on him... You can continue ad infinitum.
But all these qualities can be combined in one word - respect. A well-mannered person has the ability to respect. Respect other people, but first of all yourself. This is not selfishness at all. A necessary prerequisite for earning respect from others. Remember the "Broken Windows" theory?
Briefly, the theory is this: like attracts like. Clear non-compliance with social norms is very effective in provoking similar behavior on the part of other people. If you have been rude, then it is likely that you will also want to respond in a not at all polite manner. And only education will not allow you to sink to the level of a boor.
If a person does not respect himself, then, frankly, in most cases it is difficult for him to count on the respectful attitude of others. Simply because with his appearance, behavior, manner of speaking and the words he chooses to speak, he provokes people to treat him accordingly.
Imagine a cafe where you go for coffee. And suddenly, without asking permission, a stooped man with tangled hair, sloppy stubble and traces of breakfast on his clothes sits down next to you. What will you do? I suppose you will “vote with your feet”, as the English say, and try to find another free table.
One of the most important parameters of respect for yourself and others is respect for personal space. A well-mannered person never invades someone else's personal space unless he is invited there. Personal space is multifaceted. And it is very easy to break it if there is no habit of respect. After all, this is the physical distance between people, these are smells, and unwanted sounds, and questions that should not be asked.
I'll tell you an example from life. Recently we were at a party. A young man, heavily covered in cologne, who worked for the company that organized this party, approached us and, with his mouth full (we were really lucky with the snacks at this party), quite loudly began to ask where we work, what we do, what the annual turnover is, and whether I’m married friend. Without waiting for an answer, the young man began to tell us just as loudly about his personal life. Fortunately, the uninvited intrusion was interrupted by a musical number, during which we hurriedly fled to another room.
Self-respect also involves fulfilling obligations, both towards yourself and towards other people.
One of the most important commitments to yourself is to “stay in shape.” And physical, and moral, and intellectual. No one consciously wants to be a stupid, depraved, fat, rude man. But, alas, there are people who do not think about whether they respect themselves or not enough to take care of themselves.
A well-mannered person also cares about others. Caring and respect can take many forms. Not having the best day? This is not yet a reason to spoil the mood of others. Have you promised to come to someone's birthday? And then you changed your mind because a much more tempting invitation turned up? Don't be surprised if on your anniversary you find yourself at a richly set and pre-paid table alone. After all, it’s not just you who are presented with “more tempting” offers.
It is important to remember that like attracts like. A well-mannered person treats others the same way he treats himself—with respect.
Tatiana Koshechkina
sunny7
Show respect and courtesy
Respect in society must be earned and, most importantly, not lost in the future. What kind of person is called well-mannered? Someone who is always ready to listen carefully to anyone who turns to him for advice, or at least not to show obvious disdain. Sometimes it's difficult.
Everyone encounters situations when there is neither time nor desire to communicate with a specific person. At such moments, it is very important to deviate from the conversation tactfully so that the interlocutor does not leave an unpleasant aftertaste in his soul.
To be able to follow your interests without offending others is a great art, worthy of understanding and mastering, because it greatly simplifies life and opens up many opportunities.
Don't humiliate yourself and don't impose yourself
You can also consider the opposite situation, when you need something, but they no longer want to communicate with you, for lack of the same free time or a banal craving for it. A well-mannered person is one who will not impose himself and put his own interests at the forefront. You can only offer your own company.
There is nothing wrong with asking others for a favor, but true tactlessness would be to extort them, accuse them of indifference, and so on. In essence, blaming other people is a lack of tact. In fact, such people blame others for the same things they themselves do.
If you try to achieve what you want using such methods, you can fall very low in the eyes of others, and then it will be very difficult to return a positive impression of yourself.
When education still takes place
Only in cases where we are dealing with a child under 6 years old. And even then, with special ingenuity, in most cases it will not be useful.
Stupidity has become attached to the boy's heart, but the rod of education will remove it from him.
King Solomon
Although you know, friends, what thought occurred to me? Life often presents unpredictable encounters and any of us may face an adult with the thinking of a child. What then?
Whether you take on the role of a teacher or not is up to you. But remember that we are being watched by those for whom a person’s upbringing has and will be of greater importance.
nomortogelku.xyz
The goals of education - is it necessary for society or the individual?
Now we understand what education is, but why should we educate children? What is the point of this event? At the moment, there are two concepts of the purpose of education.
The pragmatic concept (by the way, followed by the United States) assumes that the purpose of education is survival.
That is, society must educate socially effective, responsible and law-abiding citizens so that they can successfully get along with each other and think together about how to live further. Maybe that's why Americans are so calm, smiling and friendly?
The second concept is humanistic, which “sees” as its goal the organization of such conditions that will help the individual develop talents and express his “I”.
Some pundits quite seriously said that education itself in the form that currently exists is meaningless and needs to be abolished in order to give a person the opportunity to develop naturally, without interfering with his true nature.
The first concept prioritizes the interests of society (in the USA, these are the interests of capitalists who receive an obedient herd), the second - the individual. Which one is more effective and correct is unknown. At least this question is still raised in the scientific community.
Good manners criteria
Individuals become individuals in the course of socialization, which consists in the assimilation of behavioral norms, knowledge, and social experience necessary for life in sociocultural communities. At the same time, socialization combines spontaneous, spontaneous, and socially controlled influences on people’s behavioral patterns and their consciousness.
Education is an activity that includes the transmission of socio-historical skills to a new generation, the purposeful formation of attitudes, moral beliefs, value norms, directions that provide the conditions necessary for the formation and active development of an individual in society.
Education ensures interconnection and continuity between generations. It is he who plays the key role in the individual moral development and mental and physical maturation of a person.
The criteria and indicators of personality upbringing are developed theoretical measures of the degree of formation of various personal qualities.
The criteria under consideration are conventionally divided into soft and hard. The latter include significant statistical data that characterize in a complex the general orientation of the upbringing of teenagers: the number of crimes and focus on their prevention, the number of young people paying for crimes committed, the number of dissolutions of Hymen’s bonds and broken families, the growth rate of drunkenness, smoking, drug addiction, prostitution among teenagers To characterize education in an educational environment, soft criteria are more often used to help teachers gain a general understanding of the passage and results of the educational process.
There are also two subgroups of criteria: substantive, due to the selection of measures corresponding to the analyzed quality, and evaluative, consisting in the ability to partially accurately record the intensity of expression of the diagnosed quality.
In addition, there are general criteria that determine the final results of the achieved degree of education of an individual or group, and specific criteria that serve to analyze preliminary results due to the development of individual qualities.
According to the method of focus and place of use, the criteria are divided into: those caused by external manifestations of the fruits of education - judgments, actions, assessments, personal actions, and those caused by phenomena hidden from the educator - beliefs, motives, goals, orientations.
The key criteria of the concept under consideration include:
– a high degree of moral and spiritual formation of the individual, knowledge of ethical principles;
– attitudes, value guidelines and behavioral patterns corresponding to them, the ability to compare one’s own actions with the standards of ethical standards;
moral responsibility for one’s own behavioral model;
– the humanistic aspiration of the individual, revealed in the invariable prevalence of motives for socially useful types of life activity over egoistic guidelines;
– self-control, managing one’s own behavioral patterns, adequate emotional response;
– self-control and the ability to overcome unwanted behavior;
– self-realization and tendency to self-education.
