"Audacity second happiness" - a common phrase. And some are even sure that being arrogant is very cool. But at the same time, no one likes people who are too arrogant - that’s a fact.
You can treat insolent people in different ways - you can be indignant at their impudence, secretly envy and wonder how they can easily get their way, despise, criticize...
There is one thing in common: impudence, especially of extreme degrees, leaves few people indifferent. Although there are still individuals who have overcome the anger caused by insolent people. Now let's ask ourselves a question. Do we like to get angry, pay attention, or otherwise react to the actions of people who behave in this way?
Hardly. After all, by and large, this anger will not give us anything good - only stress, frayed nerves and the consequences that flow smoothly from this. But what should we, mere mortals, do to avoid wasting our precious health? After all, every day and everywhere we come across this kind of personalities: in the subway, in queues, at school and work.
First you need to understand the insolence . The question is - why? It's very simple - we will not be able to influence the behavior of the offender. The only way not to be irritated is to understand the mechanism that makes the insolent person be so, and us react negatively to him.
Definition of insolent behavior
Insolence is an action or behavior that shows disrespect for a boss or co-worker and has the potential to be offensive. In work settings, insolence is most often viewed in the context of relationships between employee and supervisor rather than between coworkers.
For example:
- Significantly raising your voice to managers or colleagues.
- Refusal to comply with a reasonable request from a supervisor.
- Negative influence on the work of others.
- Sabotage of business relationships.
In addition, arrogance can be offensive behavior, boasting, challenging the status quo in a way that harms the organization.
It is worth understanding that impudence is not a professional disagreement or a personal conversation. This is a pattern of employee behavior that is most likely toxic and has a negative impact on the team.
Rudeness in the store
Very often rudeness comes from incompetent strangers. In this way they try to emphasize their importance and increase their status. They should not be taken seriously at all. And even more worrying about this.
Of course, it is very difficult to restrain yourself if you hear public insults in a store. The rudeness of sellers puts them in an unpleasant position.
Personnel Responsibility
Everyone in the company must behave in accordance with the corporate culture and respect their colleagues. Three levels of responsibility can be distinguished, depending on the position:
- As an employee
Employees have a responsibility to maintain a professional work environment even in the face of disagreements with co-workers or managers. Aggression, use of obscene or offensive language, humiliation of others - all this can be considered insolent behavior. Employees who engage in these activities are subject to reprimand, termination and, in exceptional cases, legal action. Employees who feel unable or unwilling to change their behavior should consult with their Human Resources representative to discuss options.
- As colleagues
It's easy to turn a blind eye to abusive behavior around you in order to save yourself unnecessary stress. However, if left unaddressed, having a pushy employee can demoralize the team and impact productivity. This can also lead to a stressful or hostile work environment, and therefore employees have a responsibility to record incidents of insolence they witness and, if the situation does not improve, share this information with a manager, supervisor, or HR representative.
- As a leader
Managers have many responsibilities when it comes to insolent employees. The first step is to understand the behavior, counsel the employee about the unacceptable behavior, document the conversation, and outline options if the behavior continues. If the behavior persists, managers should work with Human Resources to take corrective action as outlined in company policy or, in extreme cases, terminate the offending employee.
Recommendations from psychologists
So, if you encounter rudeness in a store, how to respond to rudeness? Advice from psychologists allows us to get out of the situation with dignity:
- Universal phrases. Having heard rudeness from the seller, it is necessary to respond to him, citing facts that cannot be disputed. When doing this, use general phrases: “People are different. They live differently. They are interested in a variety of things. Different events cause different reactions.” An excellent example illustrating how to use such phrases is the following. The seller’s rudeness: “Why are you poking tomatoes with dirty fingers?” Answer: “Different people check the ripeness of tomatoes in different ways.”
- Contact higher authorities. If the seller begins to be blatantly rude to you, this is regarded as an infringement on your rights. It is completely useless to answer him in kind. This is a waste of energy and effort. But how to protect yourself from rudeness? It is better to check with the manager who is the manager and contact him with a complaint. You can't leave rudeness unpunished. You can request a complaint book and describe the situation in it.
How to deal with arrogant people
In work situations, it is not always possible not to communicate with a person who behaves arrogantly and disrespectfully. However, there are a few simple steps that will help you not react to provocations, not lose your composure, and not take other people's behavior to heart. These tips apply to most work situations, no matter whether the insolence comes from a boss, colleague or subordinate.
Take a moment to calm down if you're upset.
An impulsive response can escalate the situation and lead to unnecessary conflict. If you're feeling upset, take a moment to breathe and take control of your emotions. If you need to, excuse yourself and leave the room for a few minutes. You can try counting to 10 or do any other exercise that helps you calm down.
Determine whether to respond
If the disrespectful behavior was relatively mild or a one-time event, it is usually best to ignore it and move on. Confronting the person can escalate the situation. However, if the behavior is part of a consistent pattern or if it interferes with your daily life or ability to work, confrontation may be warranted.
Try to stay friendly
If someone is being disrespectful or rude, a kind response can catch them off guard and prompt them to rethink their behavior. Instead of getting upset or retaliating, try to diffuse the situation with a smile and a few kind words. However, it is worth understanding that friendliness is relevant only for a random or one-time situation of impudent behavior.
Think about what to say before you speak
You may be tempted to lash out at the rude person and respond in kind. However, this is unlikely to be useful. Instead, make sure that whatever you plan to say is truthful, helpful, and necessary to clarify unacceptable behavior. Insulting another person or making unfair accusations will not encourage them to rethink their behavior and are usually unnecessarily harmful. Calm and meaningful conversation usually brings more benefits.
Be direct but polite
When you confront another person, be clear and frank about it. Calmly explain what the problem is and how their behavior affects you. Don't be afraid to politely ask for an explanation for this behavior. Use self-directed language so the other person doesn't feel blamed. For example, “I feel really bad when you talk to me like that.”
Set clear boundaries
Personal boundaries are an important part of any healthy relationship. It is especially important to set and enforce clear boundaries with colleagues or employees who are being insolent. Let the person know that this is unacceptable and set clear consequences for this behavior.
Don't scream
Don't know how to communicate with boors? The stupidest position is to talk to uncultured individuals in their language. You must rise above this and control yourself. Never show the person your irritation. You need to keep a sober mind and a firm voice. If you start screaming, consider yourself a loser. A scream is a person’s defensive reaction when she realizes that there are no other means of self-defense left. Try to talk to the boor in a normal tone. Even if the person raised his voice at you, do not do the same. For some reason, some people believe that screaming reaches the other person’s consciousness better. This is wrong. Screaming irritates a person and unsettles him. You will achieve nothing if you prove your position in a raised voice. A confident voice that does not break or fall will reach the interlocutor much better. Remember this when you have to talk to someone who annoys you.
What to do if an employee gets insolent?
The level of comfort at work greatly affects employee productivity. If the emotional situation in the team is unstable, someone behaves inappropriately and interferes with others, then, accordingly, the level of efficiency drops. To prevent this from happening, managers, together with the HR department, should try to work through all situations of insolent behavior. Let's figure out how to do this.
Finding out the reasons
Ask the employee about his emotional state and stress level. Something may have happened at work or in your personal life that triggered this behavior. By expressing your concerns and words of encouragement, you can already create positive dynamics in behavior. Remember that employees want to be heard.
Timely response
It is worth responding to impudence in a timely and direct manner, so that your words are understood correctly. Remind them that insolence is not welcome in the workplace. Provide feedback to your employee that includes specific incidents or instances of insolence. Don't let an employee's bad behavior get you down. Speak calmly, do not shout or reproach him. Take a moment and walk away before dealing with the situation if it will help you maintain your composure.
Warning
If the first conversation did not help and the employee continues to behave disrespectfully, it is worth warning him (preferably in writing) that such behavior may have consequences. Allowing someone to continue to destroy the workplace is unfair to you, your business and your colleagues. Make sure the employee understands the consequences if they do not correct their behavior.
Dismissal
Sometimes an employee is unwilling to correct her behavior and leaves you no choice but to relieve her of her duties. No matter how unpleasant this step may be, if an employee does not know how to respect colleagues and superiors and interferes with the work of others, then dismissal is the right step.
Analysis of the situation
Examine your office's stress levels and employee workloads, offer employees variety and job rotation, and suggest different ways to relieve stress. Your task is to be proactive and prevent situations where employees become too nervous and short-tempered due to overwork.
Where do impudent people come from?
We must understand that an arrogant person, most often, despite all his bravado, is first and foremost an insecure person.
What does he achieve by acting arrogantly?
He raises his self-esteem as best he can. In other words, he does not gain confidence through painstaking work on himself, but gives himself the impudent, pompous appearance of a person who doesn’t care about anything. He creates the illusion of a confident person by acting defiantly.
He feels bad, he is small in his own eyes, he does not have the ability and understanding to actually prove his true strength. In fact, both arrogance and uncertainty exist in different doses in each of us. They live in us, forcing us to think and act incorrectly, often in small ways or on a large scale, ruining our lives.
There is another type of insolent people who directly force themselves to be such, believing that for favorable conditions, the best places they need to fight, be in time, grab it first... And indeed, they get: a career, and money, and connections. People who are spontaneous, assertive, and disruptive begin to be, if not loved, then respected... Another thing is that at the top of their local Olympus, they end up “proudly” sitting alone.
When everyone tries to crush your dream into pieces
People point fingers at you when you fail... "We warned you!"
- they say. You are being judged. Everyone is trying to control and manipulate you. You can’t believe that people are capable of such baseness and stealing something from you - something completely insignificant to them, but so important to you. They push you until you feel worthless and exhausted. You feel like crying. Pressure is a terrible hassle. Sometimes you even give in and start believing them. Realizing that the people called upon to “support” you do not say a word in your defense, you lose your last hope. And then you realize: you are alone. And even worse: you have no idea how to defend yourself against these vicious and targeted attacks.
