Quite by accident I came across an article on the Internet. The article already has a fairly long shelf life. You could even say that she has a beard, but right now she came in handy. I think this is because this is an eternal theme - honesty.
Honesty and... personal branding. In the past, branding was mostly corporate. And now personal branding sometimes turns out to be much more important than the company brand. What is the relationship between personal branding and integrity? Directly. Because when you build your brand, you cannot be honest people and find yourself in your own trap. And in order to get out of there, you need to start telling people the truth again. But the truth is that people don't really like honesty. And this applies to both the business world and the personal environment. What would happen if you suddenly started answering questions honestly and telling them how you really were doing?
Which friend is better: the one who will tell the truth, because he cares about his friend, or the one who will remain silent or say that the choice of a life partner/work/new home/tie is even nothing, as long as he likes it? As practice has shown, the one who assents or shrugs is better. And the one who answers the question honestly turns out to be an enemy.
The same goes for work. If you are building your personal brand, then you must be successful: publish beautiful photos with beautiful and successful (or you can do both separately) people in beautiful places; give comments in fashion magazines; periodically star in front of cameras and delight their fans with photos on Instagram and Facebook. And no one is at all interested in knowing, it’s even harmful to know that you really hate being photographed, that you’re already tired of giving comments, or that you want to stay as far away as possible from those with whom you constantly appear in photographs?
But you can't do that because then you will lose the respect of the public and your customers. You will lose your own brand and, as a result, money. But it is also difficult to endure this for a long time, and sooner or later a person has a nervous breakdown, because he constantly lies to himself and others.
It's like signing a contract with a company - you can't talk bad about it as long as you work with it. But as soon as the contract ends (or you break it yourself with all the ensuing consequences), you become free again and can finally express your real feelings about the brand you worked with. But breaking a contract with yourself is much more difficult.
What will happen if you suddenly start telling everyone the truth? And it will be a lot of fun! Believe me, I know what I'm talking about 
Under and without a mask: is it always necessary to tell the truth?
To be honest, we lie not only to those around us, but also to ourselves. We can't do it any other way. It’s much more pleasant to feel like a superhero than a worthless person, which is why people come up with a mask for themselves. Take off your mask and you are completely vulnerable. Anyone can hit you, knowing that it will cause you pain. What if they think badly of us, reject us, misunderstand us? It's actually scary.
It often happens that we have one mask for people, and another for ourselves. Self-deception, according to psychologists, is needed to protect self-esteem. But it can interfere when you need an active life position and the ability to move forward despite obstacles. We see ourselves in our own way and consider this the only truth.
Meanwhile, other people may see us and our actions in a completely different light, and one day they will want to tell us the truth, which we will not like.
Watch the timbre
The brain is terribly honest, it doesn’t like to lie, it makes it upset. For the body, lying is excessive stress. Therefore, both men and women speak in a higher voice than usual when lying - this is an unconscious reaction to stress. We always squeak when we are nervous. So let the jazz depth and velvet into your voice, otherwise they will burn you.
Honesty - self-acceptance
Sigmund Freud argued that the need to tell the truth is very strong in people. The reason for this is that a person wants to be understood by others. But often he himself does not understand and does not accept himself. He puts on one mask, exchanges it for another, but cannot even imagine that he can live without them.
The better a person understands himself, the more difficult it is for him to lie to himself and others.
People lie to appear in a favorable light to others, but their inner voice tells them that the meaning of our existence lies in something completely different. The better a person understands and accepts himself, the more honest he becomes.
Cognitive load
Cognitive load occurs when processes such as thinking, attention, and memory are involved. That is, a person is overexerted mentally. But how can you understand during a conversation that the other person is lying? Psychologists have proven that lying is much more difficult than telling the truth. The brain becomes tense and the person becomes overly nervous.
White lie
However, there are situations in life when lying is necessary. Sometimes you have to tell a lie so as not to offend a person. If a friend's dress, in our opinion, is tasteless, most often we will praise it. I don’t want to spoil a person’s mood, and besides, it’s his choice that needs to be respected.
But there are situations when the truth can hurt a person or harm him. Before telling a person about a serious illness or betrayal, you need to think ten times whether the truth will be too heavy a blow for him.
But perhaps it will be easier for him to find out the truth than to constantly rush from hope to doubt and back.
Unexpected questions
Of course, a person can be well prepared for a lie and think through his answers in advance. Therefore, deliberate lies are quite difficult to detect. However, if a person has prepared well and thought through the answers, then it is worth asking completely unexpected questions. He who tells the truth will find his bearings and consistently move the story forward. Whoever lies will not be able to tie ends meet.
Between lies and truth
We do not always speak the truth when we think we are saying it. Such an example can be “false memories”, when children, already as adults, talk about situations that did not happen, their parents simply made them up.
Or let's take another example. Spouses quarrel and, in irritation, tell each other the “truth.” In this case, everyone has their own truth, since everyone sees the current situation in their own way, only from their own side. He does not understand that his partner also perceives his actions and actions from a different point of view. But when they feel that they love and begin to reach out to each other again, the path to another person, to the true truth, opens before them.
Never make excuses or confess
If you are suspected of lying, then the worst thing you can do is to start inventing more and more lies to justify yourself. If the building is shaking, then it is necessary to escape from it, and not urgently complete new floors. Therefore, respond to all accusations with proud, offended silence or switching to another topic.
As for “voluntary surrender,” this is tantamount to a direct shot in the temple. There are often situations when the truth is equally harmful for both sides and the party accusing you, just like you, despite all the harassment, would not want to hear it. Never give up, even when your back is against the wall. Stand your ground against logic, evidence and common sense.
Truth and conscience
The truth of any person is what he himself considers to be the truth, but it is always subjective. But he must listen to other people's opinions so as not to feel that he is “always right.” Each of us has a conscience, and if it torments us, it means that the truth is not on our side.
The voice of conscience, no matter how we try to drown it out, will “knock” at us again and again, like a postman bringing an important letter. Then there will be nothing left to do but open the door and let in the truth that we don’t want to know.
Reasons for lying
Why some people choose to lie or why they do it:
- it is more profitable to lie, or the authority of the person who conceals the truth remains intact;
- hearing the truth will make a person nervous or upset;
- lying makes the situation safer or helps avoid a scandal;
- a person is in trouble, that is, he needs strength to cope with it, but the truth will only make everything worse;
- facts will offend someone;
- I want to tell an interesting story or keep up a conversation, but I can’t remember anything relevant.
The latter is perhaps the most harmless reason for lying. Often such stories are very easy to recognize. But if you tell a person that he is lying, he will either be offended or will not agree that he is lying.
How to get a person to tell the truth
To tell the truth, we must learn to separate our “I” from our own thoughts and emotions, then they will no longer be able to control us. When a person deceives himself, he constantly justifies his actions, believes that anyone is to blame for his actions, but not himself.
You need to learn to take responsibility and evaluate your actions differently. When a person begins to understand that he himself is to blame for his failures, he will stop lying to himself and others. You can try to evaluate yourself by looking at your actions from a different angle. This is not only advice from psychologists. Metropolitan Anthony of Boryspil argues that you need to “shift your ego from the center of life and look at yourself from a different perspective.” Only in this case can we see the real state of affairs.
We experience an identity crisis, not wanting to know the truth about ourselves and not admitting it to ourselves or others. We are driven by fear, self-doubt, and the desire to appear better to ourselves and our surroundings than we really are. Due to envy, complexes and ambitions, a person often takes the path of lies, and then it is difficult for him to return to the truth. He begins to blame his family, boss, and parents for his failures. But it’s enough to just tell yourself that we are far from being as “white and fluffy” as we want to seem to ourselves. And it’s not “life is like this,” but we are far from ideal.
Unfortunately, in the modern world, where everything is aimed only at success and achieving goals by any means, it is very difficult to be honest with yourself and other people.
In a society where competition is at the forefront, lying is considered normal and necessary for survival. But what do we have? Disunity, hatred, unwillingness to understand another person and take a step towards him. What do we get in return? Difficult relationships in teams, high rates of divorce, depression. Having false priorities, we arrive at false goals.
From one extreme to another
Another reason why a person lies is that he is a pathological liar. That is, he does not benefit from lying, but is trying to impress or is simply accustomed to lying. Sometimes such people lie so much that they begin to believe their lies: it becomes the truth for them.
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But there are also individuals who always tell the truth. Even if they weren't asked to speak. Even people they don't know.
They are usually called boors. To tell the truth, sometimes you need to have the courage to offend others. But boors do not need any courage, because they do not care about the feelings of others. For example, you just met a person, and he already managed to tell you how ugly your eyebrows are, and it wouldn’t hurt you to lose weight. You might have gained a couple of pounds during the holidays, but have been grooming your eyebrows every day in an attempt to achieve that Hollywood shape. But the boor thinks so and thinks that he is obliged to say about it.
These types of lies and truths are useless and meaningless, they spoil the mood, and phrases often linger in people’s souls.
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How to tell the truth to people
In the modern world, branding, including personal branding, is very important. But the fact is that by creating it, we also lie, therefore, we fall into the pit of lies. To avoid falling, you will have to tell the truth.
People don't really like honesty very much. Who would like it when they tell him that the highly paid job he chose is not his, the woman he loves does not love him, etc.? Really, no one. So yesterday's friends can migrate to the category of enemies.
But in fact, even a personal brand can be built on honesty. There is no need to post beautiful photos, talk about how cool you are and how great everything is with you. Everyone is used to this. Let's try to go the other way and tell people the truth, that is, what you think and what other people are like in your eyes. You will have to go through several stages.
Stage 1. They won’t want to communicate with you.
You will become free
And the last, most pleasant stage - you will become free from your golden cage of your own brand and build yourself a new brand that will have no boundaries. If before, you didn’t say what you really liked or what you really thought about this or that issue because you were afraid of not pleasing someone or losing friends, now you can safely say what you really think. Because there will be people around who like you precisely because of their personal preferences, and not because you agree with them just to please.
And it will definitely become easier for you, because now you won’t have to keep track of what you wrote, or what you wore, or who you now appear with in photographs. You are you. And there are those people next to you who love you, value you and trust you precisely because of this.
Honesty should not be confused with outright rudeness and rudeness. This freedom does not mean that you can say nasty things left and right. This freedom means that you can now build your personal brand on trust, make yourself better, and learn to be responsible for what you say.
Topic “Why you need to tell the truth”: arguments for an essay
Arguments for essay:
- L.N. In his autobiographical trilogy, Tolstoy describes the intense suffering of the boy Nikolenka, who is embarrassed by deceptions and reproaches himself for them. Even at night his sleep is disturbed because he did not confess to the priest, concealing his deceptions.
- Victor Dragunsky in Deniskin's Stories shows the experiences, shame and repentance of a woman and her son, because of whose deception a man suffered.
- “At the Depths” by Maxim Gorky is the most striking example of the fact that a white lie does not always help, make it easier or save. Luka was convinced that his lie was justified, but Satin remained unshaken and fought for the truth to the last.
Structure of the essay
In the essay you can also use one or more statements and aphorisms about truth and lies:
- Only that person enjoys respect and trust who always tells the truth.
- “It’s not easy to decide to tell the truth, but it’s easier to live with it than with lies.”
- “A lie always gives rise to new lies, even more sophisticated and terrible.”
- “Every person deserves to know the truth and not be deceived.”
- “Lying is for cowards.”
- “Speaking the truth is not easy, it takes courage.”
- “Truth is the god of a free man.”
- “You won’t be able to lie all the time; the truth will always do its job.”
- “The naked truth is more beautiful than a disguised lie.”
- “The only good thing is what’s honest.” (Cicero)
- “Live the truth, that’s the best sermon.” (Miguel Cervantes de Saavedra)
How to write an essay on the topic “Why you need to tell the truth”
School program
The topic of honesty and lies is a very important area, so even at school children are asked to write an essay “Which is better - truth or lies . In the students' works, there are often stories about classmates when they lied, but, feeling that they had acted against their conscience, they told about the committed act.
“Two friends from the same class studied differently - one well, the other poorly. During the next test, a girl who was not a good student copied the answer from her friend. She had to commit a deception because her mother was very ill, and the girl did not want to upset a loved one.
The teacher gave an A for the work done, but the mark did not please the girl who had cheated, so she approached the teacher and honestly admitted to deception, asking to correct the mark to a D. The teacher praised the student for her honesty and gave her a well-deserved grade. Returning home, the girl rejoiced at the D mark, as if it were an honestly earned grade.”
Stories like these teach a moral: acting according to your conscience makes you feel better. The truth brings relief and can be praised for it. Essays help to identify the rules of behavior for a decent person:
- Integrity is about honesty.
- You shouldn't lie about yourself.
- If you promise something, be sure to fulfill it.
- If a promise is not kept, you should apologize in time.
- Discussing someone in his absence is incorrect. It is necessary for him to express an opinion about a person personally, and not publicly.
- You should be honest with others.
Why and why do people deceive each other?
There are actually several reasons:
- There is a certain fear of the consequences of what was said, because it is not thoroughly known how a person will react to this or that statement.
- Reluctance to cause pain and make the interlocutor worry about what was said.
But the more people lie to each other, the greater the chance of getting confused in their own “testimonies.”
Sooner or later the truth will be revealed - this is 100%. Life proves this rule every day. In the end, things only get worse - reputations are destroyed, relationships with loved ones deteriorate, etc. Thus, why not always speak only the truth or remain silent at all? If you can’t do the latter, then tell the truth correctly, without causing pain to the person.
So what is better: the bitter truth or the sweet lie?
It is very difficult to answer this question unambiguously.
Of course, the answer suggests itself that the truth is better, whatever it may be. The ability to speak the truth, not to lie, not to change one’s moral principles - this is characteristic only of a strong, morally pure person. After all, not everyone likes the truth. Especially if a person’s opinion goes against generally accepted views and foundations. History knows how many examples when people sacrificed their lives, but did not betray their views. It is worth remembering the famous D. Bruno, who died at the stake for claiming that the earth was round, who dared to express a theory that ran counter to the canons of the church. From time immemorial, people have gone to the chopping block for their ideas, for the truth.
And yet a person must tell the truth. Living according to conscience is difficult, but also easy at the same time. There is no need to dodge, invent something that doesn’t exist, or adapt to the opinion of your interlocutor. A truthful person lives with a clear conscience and does not fall into the web of his own lies. It is truthful people who move history, they are the initiators of the greatest deeds, they are the color of any country, any people. It is no coincidence that truthfulness, as psychologists say, is one of the first places among the positive qualities that people highlight.
The meaning of distortion of truth
The meaning of the proverb “Bitter truth is better than sweet lies” is known to everyone from school age. But, oddly enough, relationships in the world are built on lies. An example of this is political leaders hiding the true information regarding third world countries. This only proves that the world is illusory.
But it is precisely some false statements and attitudes that help maintain order in the world community. Avoid serious conflicts and wars. If we consider a lie as a concept, it is a deliberate concealment of information or a version of the truth distorted in someone’s favor.
In everyday life, lies are everywhere: they are present in fairy tales, rules of etiquette in society, preventing discontent and scandals. It creates relative peace and order in society. Mark Twain had a quote: “Only children and fools will tell the truth.” From this we can conclude that smart and mature people often hide the truth.
British scientists tried to understand the dilemma of which option is the best - truthful or deceitful. They conducted a survey of patients in UK clinics to understand whether they wanted to know the exact diagnosis of their disease. According to the results, almost 90% of respondents expressed a desire to know the truth rather than a beautiful lie. They explained their position as follows: knowing the true state of affairs in the event of a death would provide a short period of time to spend it usefully.
