Hello! My name is Igor Lapin, I am a professional pickup trainer. Guys often face difficulties when communicating with girls. Therefore, today we will discuss the exciting question: “Should I write to a girl every day?” It is sometimes impossible to understand a lady's intentions.
Then she writes first and the man gets the idea that she likes him. However, sometimes this can be a simple desire to communicate in a friendly way. In another case, a girl may never write first at all, but in fact secretly desires attention. How to figure out what these strange creatures want and is it worth writing to a girl every day?
Purpose of correspondence
Before I tell you what to write to a girl you like, I'll ask a question to make sure we're thinking in the same direction.
How do you want her to kiss you the next time you interact? Smiley face or real lips?
Obviously you want the latter. (I hope). Real communication is much more interesting and better than virtual communication.
The real purpose of texting is to meet, not to drag out conversations that go nowhere. Don't lose sight of the end goal.
When to text a girl
Once you have a girl's phone number, you must write to her within 24 hours. Not later than.
Why?
Because if you wait more than a day, she will decide that she is not interested in you and will switch her attention to other events in her life. And when you show up in a couple of days, she won’t need it anymore.
It wasn’t such a super-exciting acquaintance that you had that she would sit and sigh for several days, thinking about you and abandoning everything. True, if you are Bradley Cooper, you can show up in at least a month, she will be happy. But only in this case.
Modern life is very mobile and hectic, many new events happen during the day, and you will get out of your head. And then she will not want to communicate again with a person who disappears from the radar for a long time.
And it’s very easy to write an SMS. Why not do it while she remembers you and while you both are interested?
“Closer-Far” technique
The well-known pick-up artist method works like clockwork in seducing all girls.
Moreover, even the beautiful ladies themselves often practice this game on guys. Should you text a girl often? In no case! The meaning is very simple. You need to alternate the fiery spirit of a dragon with the icy heart of an unshakable iceberg.
In fact, this technique was borrowed from cunning women. Agree, you’ve probably already encountered something similar in your life. It seems like we were communicating almost intimately just yesterday, but today you feel a certain wall that she has erected. You write to her joyfully, and she replies: “I’ll answer later” or “I don’t have time now.” And immediately all the joy disappears into oblivion, and the anticipation of the conversation becomes unbearable.
This method needs to be repeated sometimes in a circle, but not too often, so as not to drive the lady into hysterics. But the plus is very significant - when you write after the break, she will be in seventh heaven!
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First message
Your first message should be informative and positive. Identify yourself and remind us who you are:
"Hello Yana. This is Alexander, we met at the exhibition today”;
“Hello Olga, this is Yaroslav. Oksana introduced us yesterday.”
Looking ahead, I’ll say - don’t always respond to a girl’s messages right away. Mix your answers - fast, slow, long-short. This will force her to constantly check her phone and wait for an answer.
And further. Don't suddenly fall silent and wait for a reaction. Maybe earlier, when SMS was paid, and the Internet was only via a wire from a modem, this was an effective way. Nowadays, everyone has a gadget with the Internet at their fingertips around the clock. And the fact that you don’t answer means only one thing for the girl - you don’t want to.
Well, you know, who would want to be the one they remember every few days out of boredom.
What to text with a girl about
Your SMS communication will consist of 2 main things:
- stories, often about yourself;
- questions.
Let's look at each of them in detail. What questions can you ask a girl in correspondence?
Ask questions that will evoke emotions in the girl and, as a result, ATTRACT her. The more emotions she gives you, the more important you become in her life.
This will be indicated by longer answers, a large number of emoticons, and frequent “ahaha” (an indicator of high spirits).
Now let's get back to the questions. Try to integrate them organically into the conversation, rather than dumping an endless stream of them into it. Comment yourself, ask clarifying questions, write your opinion in response.
Avoid creating an interview situation. These are direct questions like:
"what's new?";
“What did you do today?”;
“What is your specialty?”, and so on.
All answers assume that she must report to you for the work done. It's annoying.
“Forbidden” questions also include stupid questions like
“Do you like watching movies?”;
“Do you like it when they give gifts?”
to which the answer is obvious.
As for the “right” questions, the site has a detailed article that is devoted to this: What to talk about with a girl: 54 smart questions (will open in a new tab).
Don’t forget that the girl may also not know what to write to you. In this case, you can just write her easy questions, but a lot. This is when you see that she answers quickly and with pleasure, but she doesn’t know what to ask.
2) Interested in opinions
When a guy periodically asks questions in messages and asks for the opinion of his significant other, he shows that it is important for him to know his beloved’s thoughts on a particular topic. The best thing a girl can do in this situation is to answer questions sincerely, do not hesitate to express her own point of view, enter into a dialogue, possibly an argument, it is important to maintain the interest of her loved one. And, of course, don’t forget to also ask questions in response to show your interest in the man’s opinion.
What questions can you ask a girl in correspondence?
1. Ask questions about her views, for example:
“What repels/attracts you most in people? What is the quality?"
“What do you think is the biggest disappointment in growing up?”, and so on.
2. If the girl had some event to take place, then ask how it went. Anyone who cares about oneself will really like it.
But, really, instead of another “report”: “What time did you get home from the conference yesterday,” it’s better to ask: “How was the conference?”
3. Find a common interest: TV series, sports, music, games, travel. Ask open-ended questions, those that cannot be answered in monosyllables, then it will be easier for you to find common ground. For example:
“Which countries have you visited? Where did you like the most?”;
“How do you feel about skiing? Riding a bike?
Don't forget to talk about what interests you.
4. Show that you are interested in her opinion. Ask her what she thinks about a new film or some event in your city.
5. Be witty - play, tease. You can use famous quotes as playful questions.
For example, you found out that she is a Game of Thrones fan. Then you can add funny phrases from there:
- if she doesn’t know something: “You don’t know anything, Jon Snow”;
- call her “my lady”;
- if you haven’t been to this establishment before: “Have you never been to North of the Wall?”
3) Apologizes
In general, it is quite difficult for men to admit that they are wrong. If a guy turns out to be wrong in some situation, then sometimes it’s easier for him to write about it via messages than to say such words out loud. This should not be taken as a personal insult; there is no need to demand that he certainly repeat these words when we meet. If a man apologized, even in writing, then this speaks of his integrity. This shows that a man is not indifferent to the condition of his beloved, her feelings and he knows how to admit that he is wrong, and also values his partner and does not want to lose her.
What to write to a girl in messages and about yourself
1. DO NOT write that the day was boring, nothing interesting happened. Even if this is indeed the case, it is not interesting to anyone and is uninformative.
Instead of saying something like, “I'm just bored, so I decided to text you,” say:
“I just returned home from a crazy and stressful day at the office. So happy that I finally have time to relax. How was your day?"
This will make it clear that you are a busy man who works hard and has serious goals in life. This is exactly what women want.
2. Make more jokes; if you don’t know how, watch comedy shows and stand-ups and learn how to do it. Don't forget to use humor even when talking about yourself.
If a girl does not respond to messages, then you will be interested in the analysis in this article Why a girl does not respond to messages: the dark truth (opens in a new window).
3. It is also good if you use the following phrases:
“I was thinking about you”, “You are special to me”, “I am interested in talking to you about everything.”
4. Don't be afraid to appear stupid and make fun of yourself.
“You’ll laugh when you find out how much I messed up now,”
“I have never had such a stupid situation!”
This is both intriguing and positive. The ability to laugh at yourself is a quality of a confident person. And confident men are the sexiest for women.
5. As for your person, girls are interested in looking at photographs of you (not old ones), of what happened to you, or what you photographed right now.
This dilutes communication, making you an interesting and open interlocutor. By sending your photos, you make her a participant in your life. In response, the girl will also begin to behave more freely, feeling a close person in you.
6. If some interesting situation happened to you during the day, you can present it as an intrigue:
“You can’t even imagine what I had to go through today...”
Let her try to figure it out for herself first.
7. Try to remember the details that she tells about her family and colleagues. Then you can draw parallels between your life and hers, remembering this.
8. One of the mistakes guys make is to stop communicating after a meeting date has been set. When you are silent, girls begin to scroll through different scenarios in their heads, doubt their decisions and, in the end, either cancel the meeting or come to it with a negative attitude.
It doesn’t cost anything to write: “Have a nice day! I hope your plans for tonight are still in place?”
Even a short message will make it clear that you are thinking about her and you are not indifferent to her.
Trust3
No matter how wonderful the castle towers and pegasi with unicorns are, a woman should have free time in addition to relationships. You don't need to take up all the space with yourself. Perhaps your chosen one needs to meet with her mother or sister and share her impressions with her best friend.
And you begin to express jealous discontent. You start exaggerating out of nowhere, hanging up, dropping calls. In the end, you do everything possible to ruin the mood. All these actions do not honor you, and in the eyes of your beloved you will clearly fly down a couple of positions.
Let her go to the bachelorette party. There is no need to conduct surveillance or attach a wiretapping sensor to her dress. Are you really interested in women's gossip? Let him talk to his friends and find out stories from their lives.
Most girlfriends like to complain about circumstances and bad guys. Definitely, this will only strengthen your connection. Remember, the forbidden fruit is sweet! The more you can't, the more you want. Constant prohibitions can result in a search for a vest in which you can cry, who will understand and caress. And you'll just be left behind. Then it will be too late to repent and there will be no one to blame but yourself.
Compliments
I highlighted it as a separate point specifically to attract attention. In general, compliments are a rather subtle and deep thing. It may look like a simple phrase, but the girl will rejoice over it.
Try to include them in your speech more often. But not directly, but indirectly, for example:
“You surprised me just now,” “Did you REALLY do that?” “Will you ever show this to me?”, “Damn, you are so (beautiful, kind, attentive...).”
“I like the way you reason. So wise and thoughtful,” “I’ve never seen anyone make friends so easily. You're so sweet and friendly."
They seemed to praise, were surprised, admired, but without all those cloying “You’re smart!”
Maybe,
