Infantilism: 3 parental mistakes leading to childishness

Concept of infantilism

In modern society, the phenomenon of infantilism is quite common and almost everyone has encountered infantile people at least once in their life. But since this phenomenon is not inherently socially dangerous, it, as a rule, is not given the necessary amount of attention. And this is quite a big mistake, because despite the fact that infantile behavior is not socially dangerous and does not pose a threat, it significantly worsens the quality of life of both the person with infantilism and the life of his loved ones. And besides, the phenomenon of infantilism often comes from the family, and understanding the mistakes of upbringing will help raise a child in accordance with the norms of development.

That is why it is very important to know what it is, why it arises and how you can fight it if you are nevertheless faced with the phenomenon of infantilism.

The term “infantilism” itself (infantilismus) comes from the Latin word “infantilis”, which means “infant, childish” or from “infans” - non-speaking.

Infantilism can also be defined as immaturity in development, that is, an infantile person is inherently an immature personality.

Unlike mental retardation, such people suffer from emotional-volitional sphere. That is, children begin to speak on time, draw, sculpt, ask questions and perform other intellectual actions appropriate to their age. The development of motor skills does not suffer either: they are as active as their peers. But at the same time, they experience frequent mood swings, their behavior is more situational than that of their peers. Their emotions are superficial, there are no deep feelings. Such children are spontaneous and dependent.

Mental immaturity is manifested by a lack of stability of attention, hasty unfounded judgments, an inability to analyze, build a plan, and control one’s activities. Infantile children do not know how to regulate their behavior, objectively and adequately assess the situation and change behavior according to external conditions. All this ultimately leads to disturbances in the social adaptation of infantile people.

A lag in emotional development entails a secondary delay in intellectual development, which is the result of social maladjustment. As a rule, this begins to manifest itself during schooling:

Firstly, it is more difficult for such children to find a common language with peers and make friends, and this can lead to a decrease in interest in school life and educational activities.
Secondly, infantile children have difficulty solving tasks that require attentiveness and the ability to analyze, this also reduces the success of their educational activities. As a result, interest and motivation to study disappear, such children often remain in the same class for the second year, their intellectual development also begins to lag behind their peers.

Organic

The syndrome of uncomplicated organic mental infantilism is observed with brain lesions. In many patients, damage occurs in utero, the signs of pathology are combined with the stigmas of embryogenesis: abnormal hair growth, malocclusion, high palate, short stature, etc. Manifestations are extremely diverse, depending on the volume and location of damage to cerebral structures.

As with the children from the previous group, naivety, suggestibility, and a penchant for games are noted. Thinking is characterized by inertia and difficulties when switching. Emotions are often smoothed out, not sufficiently lively and bright, imagination is poor, attachments are superficial. Children do not feel the need for approval and evaluation of the results of games and learning, which indicates a low level of aspirations. Disinhibition and elements of pathological behavior are possible.

Within the framework of the complicated organic variant, disproportionate, neuropathic and cerebrasthenic types are considered. In the first case, there is a significant discrepancy between the levels of various aspects of personality. The second type is characterized by timidity, timidity, uncertainty, and problems adapting to a team. In the third case, irritable weakness and slight intellectual decline are observed.

Distinctive features of infantilism

There are many different types of developmental delays, and people often confuse them. In order to better understand what infantilism is and understand the reasons for its occurrence, it is worth first finding out how it differs from other types of developmental delay.

To begin with, it is worth clarifying that infantilism is associated primarily with a delay in the development of the emotional-volitional sphere. And unlike mental retardation, in this case intelligence remains intact. If there is a delay in intellectual development, then this is a secondary phenomenon arising as a result of social maladjustment. Such people can successfully engage in creativity, sing, draw, write stories, poems. They are capable of abstract logical thinking, so many mental operations are available to them. The difficulties they have in solving certain problems are mostly associated with impaired concentration, inability to plan and analyze their activities and their consequences, as well as avoidance of taking responsibility for their actions.

Another mental development disorder with which infantilism is confused is autism. In both cases, a person experiences a decrease in social activity and a violation of social adaptation. However, people with autism, as a rule, do not need social contacts at all and even avoid them. All their attention is directed inward; they are simply not interested in other children. An autistic child is always aloof from other children and prefers to play independently.

For those who suffer from infantilism, social contacts are not initially impaired. On the contrary, such children strive to communicate with others and love to be the center of attention. Social adaptation decreases as a result of the fact that such people cannot control their behavior and the expression of their emotions; it becomes difficult for them to exist with those who are ahead of them in development. This leads to disruption of social contacts.

In addition, autistic children, unlike infantile children, have delayed speech development or its absence altogether.

Also, delays in physiological development will not always indicate that such a person is infantile. Often, the reason for the delay in physiological development is hormonal imbalance. For example, dwarfism caused by a lack of somatotropic hormone (growth hormone), thyroid hormones. Such people look much smaller than their peers, but their mental development in most cases fully corresponds to the age norm.

Medicine possibilities

Treatment and correction includes:

improvement of living conditions;
balanced diet;
taking vitamins;
physiotherapy;
psychotherapy (individual or group);
pharmacotherapy.

Activities should be aimed at the cause of the disease and include a set of necessary measures.

Causes of infantilism

The causes of infantilism depend on its type. There are two main ones:

Physiological infantilism.
Psychological (mental) infantilism.

The cause of physiological infantilism, as a rule, is damage to the central nervous system, resulting from asphyxia, various types of head injuries and infectious diseases affecting the nervous system, in particular the brain. Another reason for the development of physiological infantilism can be diseases of the endocrine system, which lead to hormonal disorders throughout the body.

Physiological infantilism

Physiological infantilism can be either congenital or acquired. Congenital, as a rule, is associated with disturbances in the functioning of the nervous system in the prenatal period. These may include various diseases and injuries during pregnancy. Acquired infantilism is associated with the direct impact on the human nervous system of various risk factors, which are traumatic brain injuries, infections that affect the nervous system, and various types of influences that limit the supply of oxygen to the brain.

Physiological infantilism can also be viewed from a medical point of view. In medicine, the term “infantilism” characterizes a state of the body in which the organs of the reproductive system in a person are underdeveloped, and there is practically no sexual attraction to a partner. Due to reproductive dysfunction, such people are most often unable to bear children.

As for psychological infantilism, the main reason for its occurrence lies, first of all, in the delayed development of the frontal lobes of the brain as a result of improper upbringing. Mental infantilism is often the result of overprotection or, conversely, insufficient attention and connivance towards the child on the part of the parents.

Mental infantilism

Mental infantilism is only acquired and, in turn, is divided into total and partial.

Total infantilism implies a lag in both the physical development (weight, height) of a person and his psychological development. Both the child’s appearance and his behavior will then correspond to an earlier stage of development.

Partial infantilism includes a lag only in mental development; the physical development of the child is fully consistent with his age.

It is worth dwelling on the causes of psychological infantilism in more detail, since this is a more common type of infantilism and absolutely everyone can encounter it. As mentioned earlier, the main reason for its occurrence lies in upbringing mistakes, which many parents often do not even realize. So what are these errors?

Causes of psychological infantilism

First of all, this is hyperprotection. A child for whom parents make decisions, protect him from various difficulties, and indulge all his whims does not learn to take responsibility and solve his problems on his own. From the people around him, he also demands the same attention and care, fulfillment of all his requests. His behavior becomes self-centered.

The flip side of overprotection is a permissive attitude towards children . Parents who do not pay enough attention to their child can also provoke the appearance of infantilism in him. A child, left to his own devices, tries to make up for the lack of communication with his parents by watching films, TV series, computer games, and communicating on social networks. The real world is replaced by a fictional one. The child does not know how to behave in reality, does not know how to build adequate communication with living people, he is not adapted to the conditions of the real world around him, and all these are signs of infantility.

Another common mistake that parents make is prohibiting independent activities. During early childhood, the child’s leading activity becomes object-based activity. Through the objects around him, the child gets acquainted with the world and gets to know it. By the age of two or three, he begins to try to repeat the actions of an adult and learn to do everything on his own. But many parents do not allow their child to perform even simple actions on his own. Most often, this is done for reasons of the child’s safety and saving time, but subsequently this position will lead to the child growing up infantile. He will not learn to act independently, and already in adulthood he will expect that decisions will be made for him and everything will be done.

Authoritarian parenting. Parents do not give the child the opportunity to exercise independence and make decisions. Adults do this for him. A child in such a family becomes dependent on his parents for everything. He does not learn to solve his problems himself, make decisions and be independent.

Raising a child is a very responsible process. And parents should always understand what consequences their actions may lead to in the future, what their upbringing mistakes will cost their child. And if all parents approach parenting issues consciously and responsibly, many problems can be avoided.

Psychogenic

This option arises against the background of improper upbringing and has been studied less than others. It is formed as a result of deprivation of important emotional and intellectual needs due to inattention, abandonment, too strict requirements or, on the contrary, connivance and a complete lack of discipline.

Depending on the parenting style, egocentrism, passivity, decreased initiative, indecision, inability to withstand stress, and lack of ideals and ethical guidelines necessary for the normal functioning of a mature personality are possible. Treatment involves long-term psychotherapy.

For diagnosis and quality therapy, call 8(969)060-93-93 and make an appointment.

Manifestations of infantilism in life

Much has already been said about the behavior of infantile children and adults; now these topics need to be summarized.

The infantilism of children begins to manifest itself more clearly and noticeably at school age. Children learn worse and have problems concentrating. They may get up and leave in the middle of class or interrupt the teacher. Their play activities prevail over their learning activities. In communication with peers, infantilism manifests itself in the inability to control one’s behavior, in a direct reaction to what is happening around. Such children are gullible and naive. Often their social circle consists of younger children, since they are closer to them in terms of development.

Naivety and spontaneity also persist in adults. Their emotional reactions are not always adequate to the situation. In addition, in adults, infantilism manifests itself in an unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s actions. Such people rarely get married or start a family on their own initiative. In relationships, such people, on an unconscious level, will look for someone who can play the role of a parent, that is, care and patronize. In professional activities, immature individuals will avoid responsibility in every possible way. This category of people does not like to solve problems. When faced with difficulties, they either run away from them, or try to forget, or shift them onto the shoulders of other people. They are dependent on the opinions of others, so they are afraid of criticism and react very sharply to it.

Many psychologically immature people subsequently become dependents. Women find wealthy men who fully provide for them. Male infantilism often manifests itself in reluctance and inability to run a household. Such men will look for women on whom they can shift all the worries about the household.

Of course, for the most part, manifestations of infantilism do not pose a threat to the life and health of the person himself or his relatives and friends. But still, this phenomenon cannot be ignored.

The danger of infantilism

The main danger for a person suffering from infantility is, of course, social maladjustment. As a result of the fact that it is difficult for such people to adapt to the world and people around them, they often find themselves alone, and they may have a feeling of inferiority and uselessness. This can ultimately lead to various kinds of neuroses and depression, which in some cases end in suicide.

For a child who was indulged in everything in childhood and protected in every possible way from difficulties and troubles, the frustrating circumstance will be that in adulthood he will have to decide everything himself, and no one will fulfill his wishes on demand. And this again will lead to the fact that such a person will be rejected by society. As a result, the risk of developing neuroses and depressive states with all the ensuing consequences increases.

In professional activities, such people also, as a rule, do not achieve significant success. They do not know how to navigate emergency, extreme situations, and often shift the solution to problems that arise onto the shoulders of their colleagues. In this regard, infantile people rarely occupy good positions and are fired quite often. Losing a job for people with this type of disorder is also akin to a disaster. It is very difficult for them to navigate what happened, adequately assess the reason for the dismissal and start looking for a new job. They, as a rule, blame the employer for their dismissal and go into their feelings about the injustice of what happened. Many never start looking for work, plunge into depression, start playing computer games, trying in this way to escape the reality that oppresses them. The financial situation is deteriorating, which leads to the fact that such people try to find a person who can be their dependent.

For those around them, infantile people do not pose a danger as such. As a rule, the main difficulties arise as a result of their immaturity and impaired social adaptation. At their core, they are big children, and in their professional activities such workers are ineffective in many areas. Any difficult situation can unsettle them and deteriorate the quality of work, which is undesirable for the employer. On the other hand, violations of social adaptation will lead to the fact that it will be difficult for such a person to join the work team and build adequate relationships with colleagues. And this will lead to industrial conflicts, which in turn will be very undesirable for the employer.

As for family life, as a rule, infantile people are afraid to take responsibility and get married and have children. But if this does happen, then you cannot rely on such people in family life. They are unlikely to be able to be the head of the family, they are unlikely to be able to fully provide for themselves and their loved ones, or cope with the difficulties that arise. And besides, a child raised in a family where there is an infantile parent is also highly likely to become infantile. Or he will form a misconception about the role of the mother or father in family life. Girls who grew up in a family with an infantile mother are highly likely to copy her infantile behavior when building their family life. If the father was infantile, then there is a high probability that such girls will choose infantile men in the future, since such a pattern of behavior will be the only possible one for them. The same thing happens with boys.

In addition, if it so happens that both parents are immature individuals, then the personal development of their child will also suffer. In almost one hundred percent of cases, the child will be infantile at best. In the worst case, mental retardation may also be added to this, or deviant behavior will begin to appear.

How to deal with infantilism?

It is possible and even necessary to fight infantilism. This is not always an easy or quick process, however, its results can help significantly improve the quality of life of both the person himself and his loved ones.

There are different approaches to solving the problems of infantilism and they are primarily related to its etiology.

If manifestations of infantilism are associated with physiological reasons, then, first of all, it is necessary to consult a doctor who will prescribe competent drug treatment. After which you can contact a psychologist.

If the reasons for the manifestation of personal immaturity are related to psychological factors, then in this case a consultation with a psychologist is necessary. Let's look at this from both sides.

In the case when infantilism manifests itself in a child, consultation with a psychologist is necessary for both the child and his parents. A psychologist will conduct a diagnosis and find out what the main problem is. And a conversation with parents will help you understand where mistakes were made and jointly develop an education system that will help the child develop further without delays. It is quite possible that timely joint psychological consultation will help solve the problem of infantility, and the child’s development will gradually catch up with its peers. The psychologist will help the child learn new adaptive ways of social functioning.

With an adult, the situation is a little more complicated, but everything can be solved. If a person realizes that he has a problem that needs to be solved somehow, then working together with a psychologist can give significant results. The most important thing is not to be shy about seeking help from a qualified specialist and not to be afraid to work on yourself, because this can help significantly improve your quality of life.

But it is worth remembering that you cannot try to save a person from infantilism on your own, if you do not have a psychological education. You can tell him which specialist to contact and support him when he works with a psychologist. But you shouldn’t solve this problem yourself. A competent psychologist will carry out the necessary diagnostics, find out the cause of the disorder and think about how the person can be helped. Only in this case will the help be effective.