How to behave with your mother-in-law

According to statistics, rarely anyone is lucky with their mother-in-law. I want this woman to help, but not to impose, to respect your decisions and not to think that you are offending her son.

Tensions with the husband’s mother can be fueled both by the young wife, who feels a sense of ownership towards her man, and by the mother-in-law herself, who is used to being the only woman in her son’s life.

So how to behave if your mother-in-law is a real witch? How to tactfully leave her social circle without harming your family?

In this article:

5 reasons for dissatisfaction with your mother-in-law Mistakes in relationships with mother-in-law How not to communicate with your mother-in-law and not offend your husband

Son's family in the eyes of mother-in-law

Good relationships between two women rarely develop, and almost never sincerely. Much of the outward goodwill masks underlying discontent on both sides.

Negativity can come from a young wife. This can be explained by the fact that she experiences a sense of ownership towards her spouse and, accordingly, jealousy. But most often the cause of conflict situations is the inappropriate behavior of the mother-in-law.

An older woman who is used to being the only and most important woman in her son’s life, but then another one appears and all attention is now directed to her. My son began to devote less time, calls and visits less often. Therefore, it is quite natural that the mother will be jealous of her son for his wife.

There are other, simpler reasons why the husband’s mother displays aggressive behavior. Therefore, before you think about how to protect yourself from your mother-in-law, you need to understand why she is unhappy.

I hate my mother-in-law: causes of conflicts

Many women are outraged that mothers-in-law have a completely different attitude towards housekeeping and everyday life than modern youth. This is true, because times were different before, when there were not a large number of fast food restaurants, home delivery, and household appliances that help with cleaning and cooking.

Causes:

Accordingly, at that time women were accustomed to working more and devoting a lot of time to housework. That is why the different rhythm of life of the modern generation can really irritate and upset the mother-in-law. This is connected not only with the daughter-in-law specifically, but with the entire generation as a whole. Because girls aged 20-30 are accustomed to having washing machines, food processors, as well as ovens, bread makers, and microwaves.
Accordingly, it is much easier to prepare a very tasty dinner now than it was then. Therefore, mothers-in-law are perplexed why a woman prefers not to cook, but to feed her son with semi-finished products, or food ordered from a restaurant.
However, in the past, working conditions were slightly different than they are now. In most cases, everyone worked at state enterprises, where they understood the young parents, making various concessions. Previously, a woman could actually go on sick leave more often, because she had lawyers and a trade union behind her.
Now there are very few state-owned companies left. Therefore, many women work in private enterprises that value efficiency, consistency, and discipline. Accordingly, no one accepts early leaving work, being late, or frequent sick leave.
It is necessary to explain to your mother-in-law that in order to support your family you need to work, from morning to evening. This is why you cannot, because you are very tired, constantly pamper your spouse with home-cooked dinners.

A good relationship

Mother-in-law destroys the family

Often, at an appointment with a psychologist, women ask: “What should we do if she lives with us? My mother-in-law is interfering in our family!” Experts advise to understand that if a couple has mutual understanding, love, trust and support, then no one can destroy their union.

The question of how to get rid of the mother-in-law will not arise if the head of the family understands that no matter how much he loves and is grateful to his mother, first of all he must protect his own family. The spouse can be wise and smooth out rough edges. The husband's mother should be perceived as one of the obstacles to family happiness.

Mother-in-law is a manipulator: how to deal with it

As a rule, manipulators instill a feeling of guilt in their victims and easily pull strings. In this case, you cannot follow the lead! Even if she makes scandals, you cannot give up your plans to please her desires.

If she tries to influence through her son, he should be shown the true motives of his beloved mother and taught him to resist manipulation. The best tactic in dealing with a manipulator is mirroring. She is only interested in her own desires, and the desires of others do not matter. You need to do the same with such a person.

How to communicate with your mother-in-law: advice from a psychologist

When communicating with the mother of your beloved man, family analysts advise following simple rules:

don't lose your composure . Be calm, self-possessed and friendly;
if you hate each other, stop all contact . Such relationships cannot be corrected;
do not react to offensive statements . It is better to pay attention to your husband and child;
if she sticks her nose in everywhere and makes comments in front of strangers, answer her in kind. Or don't pay attention to her at all;
in case you live under the same roof, do not hope that she will not interfere. The best solution would be to move to separate housing, thus limiting your family from communicating with her.

How to get your mother-in-law out of the house

If she feels negative emotions towards you and no ways to improve the relationship work, try the following:

The uninvited and unexpected arrival of your mother-in-law should not affect your plans. Let your husband meet her himself, and you, as planned, go to the beauty salon.
If she thinks she is full of strength, destroy her illusions. From time to time, ask how she is feeling and tell her that she doesn't look well. Yes, a cruel, but effective way.
If she claims that it is necessary to feed her son deliciously and a lot, prepare something dietary and say that you care about the health of your spouse, who suffers from gastrointestinal problems.
If she starts running your kitchen without asking, remove the food and tell her to give up the idea of bothering herself with cooking.
If you know what day she will arrive, start a renovation that won't be completed until she arrives. Tell your husband that you want to prepare an apartment for his mother.
While she is visiting you, suffer from insomnia, the salvation from which will be a song, preferably performed under the door to the mother-in-law's bedroom. This will keep her away from home for a while.
Don't see me off. Make excuses for feeling unwell. Let only your husband take your mother to the station.

And remember, when starting a war with your mother-in-law, you must be the most affectionate and gentle with your beloved. Tell him how much you love him, take the initiative in bed. Then your loved one will take your side.

A cage built with your own hands

There is always another solution. It is enough to simply look at the situation without emotions, guided solely by the facts. And they are as follows: you regularly communicate with an unpleasant elderly woman. She gets on your nerves, lowers your self-esteem and makes you feel like a hanger-on.

Attention, important question. Why do you tolerate this?

Who imposed this duty, this duty on you? Who forces you at gunpoint to spend family holidays with people you don't like?

This strange, unkind woman is not your mother or at least a blood relative. She's basically no one to you. If she is an unpleasant person to talk to, don’t communicate. You have such a right and such an opportunity.

It turns out that patience is your choice. Your decision, which can be changed at any time. And only you yourself keep yourself from those boring feasts. Holding back with fears:

- How will it look like? What will my in-laws think of me?

- What if my husband gets offended? Will he decide that I don't love him enough?

- And what about the children? They should see grandma!

We will return to fears later. Now just realize that you have another solution!

Once upon a time, I read a wonderful metaphor that illustrates the standard reaction of women to advice not to associate with unpleasant toxic people:

- Doctor, I drink denatured alcohol in the morning, and something feels bad. Help!

- So don’t drink denatured alcohol.

- Well, of course, my relatives won’t understand... Still, they expect me to...

- I don’t know how to make you feel good if you choose to drink denatured alcohol.

- No, just tell me! You're a doctor!

- Don't drink denatured alcohol!

If you are a modern urban person who does not financially depend on the help of relatives, you are not obliged to waste time of your life communicating with unpleasant people. Moreover, your mother-in-law is not eager to sign you up as her girlfriend.

What should you not do in your relationship with your mother-in-law?

Compete - 1

There is no need to share your husband with his mother. He's not a toy. He is an adult who chose you as his wife. And he has known his mother from the very first days of his life, and for her there is a special place in his heart. Don't waste time and energy trying to prove which of you is more important. There is no need to compete with her, since you will not be able to replace his mother, and she will never take your place.

Letting you go beyond your personal boundaries - 2

Your and your husband’s personal space should not be accessible to anyone. For a mother who was never able to let her son go, it is difficult to understand that they might not be happy with her coming if she showed up for a visit without warning. Therefore, at first you may encounter a woman’s sincere misunderstanding of why her opinion was not taken into account. In this case, it is necessary to build personal boundaries for your family.

Develop family rules under her pressure - 3

After the Mendelssohn march plays, the family begins to develop its own rules, a special microclimate is created, and the daughter-in-law must not allow her husband’s mother to interfere in this process. Only spouses need to make serious decisions, plan the family budget and plan their daily life. Of course, at first the mother-in-law will give out her advice left and right, but it is better to listen silently and act in your own way.

Wait for your mother-in-law to take your side - 4

The lover’s assurances that he has a worldly mother who is easy to get along with should not be misleading. The fewer expectations placed on the mother-in-law, the fewer disappointments there will be in the future. It is also worth understanding that she also has certain expectations about you. Perhaps she would like her daughter-in-law to cook pancakes for breakfast, go shopping with her, or do wet cleaning every day.

Blaming your mother-in-law for not liking you - 5

She is an ordinary person with her flaws. And her image of an ideal wife may be completely different. At the same time, you might want your mother-in-law to be wiser, more intelligent, so that she can give good advice and sit with her grandchildren. Accept your mother-in-law for who she is, saying goodbye to your imaginary ideas.

Resolve conflicts independently - 6

Remember that your spouse’s mother, who loves quarrels and scandals, is primarily his problem. And he should not put it on his wife’s shoulders. Do not let your husband step aside in situations that are important to the family. He should not remain a favorite son, while you, defending the rights of your family, look like a vixen. He is a grown man who must be responsible for his family.

Turn your mother-in-law into a monster - 7

Despite all expectations, it is necessary to learn to build communication. Don't be so quick to say that you can't get along with this woman. Try to find a place in your heart for gratitude, find positive qualities in it. You should not focus on its bad sides, because this will not make it any easier.

Hiding behind your spouse - 8

If some kind of conflict has occurred with your mother-in-law, there is no need to turn your husband into a peacemaker , but resolve it yourself. There is no need to drag your husband into this and let his mother do it. There is no need to play a game of who will complain the most. In such a situation, a man can distance himself from both women.

How to find a common language?

Your mother-in-law has a lot of knowledge, and you can easily learn from her this experience. Ask her to teach you how to cook some delicious dish. She will be pleased that you ask her advice.

If you have just moved into an apartment, do not immediately start actively defending your rights; let your mother-in-law get used to the fact that you are now living in their house.

However, it is important to make it clear that you are now a full-fledged member of the family , you and your husband have a personal space, which is not always correct to interfere with.

A joint business unites . Offer your help in cleaning, rolling up vegetables, and at the dacha.

If you live together, then you will have to help your mother-in-law with the housework, since now you are a full-fledged member of the family and live together.

The mother-in-law is a mother who loves her son, and like any mother, she experiences jealousy, because now another woman has captured his attention.

She will have to come to terms with having a daughter-in-law, but this does not always happen. Some mothers do not want to compromise and accept their son’s wife, and no actions or attempts to establish contact help.

Conflict with mother-in-law: advice from a psychologist

Conflicts with the spouse’s parent can arise for a number of reasons:

Typically, problems are associated with loss of control. If the mother of her lover is selfish and considers her son to be her continuation, then conflict with her daughter-in-law cannot be avoided;
if the newlyweds and the mother-in-law live in the same living space, then the young wife becomes a competitor with her own ideas about running a household, raising children and pleasing her loved one;
the wife is critical of any advice from her husband’s mother;
the daughter-in-law manipulates her husband and turns him against his mother;
the son's chosen one spreads gossip behind her back;
tells children that their grandmother is a bad person;
fundamentally refuses help from the parents of the faithful.

There are other subjective reasons. Almost all of the above reasons that provoke the mother-in-law’s anger and irritation towards her son’s significant other relate to the objective aspects of hatred. In simple terms, his beloved deliberately intensifies the situation in the relationship with her mother-in-law in order to deprive her of points of influence on her beloved. But psychologists say relationship problems can be caused by more than just behavioral factors, such as manipulation and gossip.

6 mistakes in relationships with mother-in-law

To avoid conflict situations with your partner’s parent, try not to make the following mistakes:

Turning your spouse against your mother. This is a deliberately losing line of behavior. Even if the husband has a bad relationship with his mother, the son’s affection remains. It is unlikely that he will completely go over to the chosen one’s side. Most likely, she will adhere to neutrality and will not help her beloved to conduct a confrontation with her own mother.
Complain about your spouse. If you complain about your life partner to his mother, this will show that she raised a dishonest person. And this will ruin the relationship even more.
Turning children against grandmother. Even if this woman seems unbearable to you in every way, you cannot speak badly about her. Children should not be affected by the attitudes of adults.
Respond to aggression with aggression. This behavior can only make the situation worse. It is better to restrain anger and the desire to achieve justice at any cost.
Wait for a miracle. It is foolish to believe that you can appease your spouse’s mother with persuasion and gifts. It is unlikely that she will realize everything and change her behavior.
Demonize the mother-in-law. Yes, the husband’s mother may seem like a real fiend, however, each person has certain advantages. Try to see the advantages and turn them to your advantage.

How to behave with your mother-in-law: advice from a psychologist

To build bridges with the mother of your loved one, you need to follow simple tips:

Try to understand - 1

Psychologists advise making an effort and trying to understand your mother-in-law, even if it is very difficult. Then you can find out the cause of the conflict and develop an effective strategy to resolve it. Try to figure out what is the root of the hostility, look at the situation through the eyes of your husband’s mother. Maybe she is afraid of loneliness in old age, which will be unnecessary. In addition, there may be a fear in her soul that her daughter-in-law will not make her son happy.

Really assess the situation - 2

If the mother-in-law believes that their parents should be involved in raising children, then there is no need to be offended by her. You cannot change the opinion of a mature adult. So work with what you have.

Learn to take criticism calmly - 3

In fact, it is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. Just try to imagine that all the criticism directed at you is a simple stream of water that will not cause any harm. To get along with your mother-in-law or at least avoid confrontation, show patience and wisdom, and look for compromises.

I hate my mother-in-law: how to get rid of hatred?

Until about 30 years ago, mothers-in-law and mothers ironed and washed bed linen. Now everything is somewhat different. Even things for newborn babies are now no longer boiled or ironed at high temperatures.

Adviсe:

This is due to the fact that modern washing machines have appeared that contain silver ions and disinfect clothes. There are also special modes for washing newborn clothes. That is why there is no need for boiling, soaking, and bleaching things. Even modern shirts, as well as trousers, do not need to be ironed.
If such a need really arises, then purchase things that are made of wrinkle-resistant fabric. Nowadays there is really a huge number of such things, and all of them are suitable for wearing in the office. This will greatly facilitate your household chores, and there will be no need to constantly smooth out the arrows. It would also be a good idea to purchase a drying machine, since things dry in it quite quickly and, most importantly, do not wrinkle.
Therefore, ironing clothes will be much easier. In order not to upset your mother-in-law, try to introduce her to the benefits of civilization, and show her that it is not necessary to do housekeeping in the old-fashioned ways. Modern appliances and devices make household chores easier. If your mother-in-law really doesn’t like the fact that you don’t cook enough for your son and he doesn’t eat well, then give yourself a few days a month in which you will prepare for a few days in advance.
What is meant? Buy meat, prepare minced meat from it, and then cutlets, and freeze them. This way, you will have ready-made semi-finished products that you can prepare very quickly. To carry out such preparation you will have to spend some time, but in this way all the food will be homemade and very tasty.

Scandal with her husband
If the daughter-in-law tries in every possible way to improve the relationship, and the mother-in-law considers her her enemy, it is unlikely that it will be possible to improve the relationship. Therefore, the main task is to explain to your mother-in-law that you are not going to compete with her and do not want to share anything. Because the son belongs to both of you and will devote time to both the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Relationship with daughter-in-law: what not to talk about

If you want to become a second mother for your son’s chosen one, then you need to properly build interpersonal communication relationships. Only a constructive conversation will help form adequate relationships. Therefore, psychologists have established a number of forbidden topics that are best not discussed with your daughter-in-law:

Don't talk about appearance - 1

No representative of the fair sex will like it if her appearance is discussed. Recommendations for self-care can be understood as attempts to humiliate her in front of her lover. Therefore, there is no need to tell your son’s wife about her makeup or hair color.

Don't discuss your daughter-in-law's cooking skills - 2

Of course, every mother wants her son to eat tasty food. But there is no need to make a tragedy out of the fact that his wife has not yet learned how to cook some dishes or does not know the gastronomic preferences of her husband. Your task is to unobtrusively help your daughter-in-law, share recipes, but so that she does not feel inferior.

Don't get involved in raising children - 3

Raising the younger generation is a difficult task. Remember how you reacted when someone came to you with unnecessary advice regarding raising your son. Anger and irritation are quite common reactions of a young mother when she is told how to care for and raise a child. If you see that your daughter-in-law is negative when you give her recommendations, leave it.

Don’t remember your son’s former passions - 4

One of the most effective ways to ruin your relationship with your daughter-in-law is to remember your son’s ex-girlfriends as often as possible and compare them with her. It is likely that you liked your past girlfriends more, but why talk about it and spoil the relationship. A loving mother will prioritize her child's happiness rather than her own hopes and dreams.

How can you tolerate your husband's mother?

My mother-in-law is annoying, we live together: what should we do? Your task is first of all to learn to cope with your own emotions . Another person is not responsible for your state and mood, just as you are not responsible for his feelings.

Try to abstract yourself if your mother-in-law constantly pesters you. In the end, you are not obligated to respond to her accusations, screams, and complaints. You can pretend to listen, but it is not at all necessary to perceive and remember the information .

This position will help maintain mental comfort and not react sharply to negative attacks.

It is likely that without encountering any response or resistance, the woman herself will soften after a while and want to make contact .

An excellent technique is to try to find good traits in your mother-in-law. Every person has something positive. Perhaps your mother-in-law is an excellent teacher, or she is a good cook, or maybe she is a creative person.

Find positive qualities in her, and then communication will be easier. Ask her about her youth, how she met her husband, let her tell you about her son’s childhood.

Good memories soften people. If you are on the same wavelength as your mother-in-law, it will be easier for you to find a common language.

Another way is to build relationships as if you were employees working in the same territory. In this case, you do not need to show strong emotions - joy or anger, you simply organize communication according to a business principle.

You meet in the morning, have breakfast, resolve joint issues, maintaining a business style of communication. Over time, the relationship may become more friendly when the mother-in-law understands what her daughter-in-law is like and how successful she is in family life.

Learn to stand up for yourself. Once feeling weak, the mother-in-law will take advantage of this, and each time her pressure will increase. At the same time, she will begin to criticize you openly, discredit you in front of her son, pointing out any of your shortcomings.

That is why it is important to build relationships with relatives from the first day of living together .

However, the ability to stand up for yourself does not mean scandals or raised voices.

On the contrary, your speech should be as calm and convincing as possible. Tell your mother-in-law exactly what you don't like and why. Be sure to indicate the reason , and not just: I don’t want to.

How to diversify family life? You will find practical recommendations on our website.

6 tips on how to be a good mother-in-law

First of all, it is necessary to understand that the son has grown up a long time ago and is an adult who has his own right to choose. So you need to come to terms with the fact that there will be another woman in the family. The following tips will help you fall in love with her and establish a trusting relationship:

Respect your daughter-in-law's personality

You may not like the behavior of your son's chosen one or her appearance, but this is not a reason to spoil your relationship with her. Keep your opinion to yourself and especially don’t voice it in front of strangers.

Be nice

Whatever happens, remain tactful and polite, even if she doesn't reciprocate. As a result, you will only receive gratitude for your patience and willingness to share everyday advice.

Don't overstep the boundaries

If you come to visit the home of a young family, give your daughter-in-law the opportunity to feel like the hostess. Don’t go through your closets, don’t organize cooking master classes, don’t rush to clean things up. Your child’s significant other will not like this and will be treated with hostility.

Let the young people be independent

Psychologists say that if the mother-in-law helps her son’s family financially, she will believe that the children owe their well-being only to her. In addition, they may get used to shifting problems onto other people's shoulders.

Keep neutral

At first, conflicts will arise between the newlyweds, and in them the son will try to win you over to his side. But you, as a wise woman, should remain neutral in family squabbles. If you defend your son, you will find an enemy in your daughter-in-law.

Don't make competitions

You can cook divine pilaf, wash off grass stains, or grow a rich harvest of cucumbers right on the balcony, but you don’t need to brag about your achievements, belittling your daughter-in-law’s efforts. Better to praise her cooking skills or the cleanliness of the house.

How to improve relationships

Mom and lover are the most important women in a man’s life. If you conflict with your husband's mother, you will put him in a difficult position - he cannot betray either of you and will not be able to unconditionally take someone's side.

If you don’t know what steps to take, a psychologist’s advice will help you on how to improve relations with your mother-in-law in the family of which you became a part when you got married:

If possible, live separately. The constant presence of a third person in a young family will quickly spoil the relationship between spouses. Research confirms that in cases of separation, the relationship between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law develops much more harmoniously.
From the very beginning, define the boundaries of acceptable interference from your mother-in-law. If you don’t like that your husband’s mother comes to visit you with groceries and stands at the stove (your son is losing weight, you don’t feed him), tell her about it directly. If a mother wants to feed her son, let him invite him to visit her.
Don’t tell yourself and ask your husband not to tell your mother about your plans (pregnancy, vacation, expensive purchases). This way you will be able to avoid a large portion of unsolicited advice.
If a conflict occurs between a husband and his mother, take the husband's side. Your mother-in-law should be sure that her son has chosen a worthy life partner who will always support him.
Don't complain to your husband about his mother, even if she is wrong. Of course, you can talk about an unexpected and inappropriate visit from your mother-in-law, but in a narrative tone, and not with reproach, and your husband will draw his own conclusions.
Do not limit your husband’s communication with his mother. Show your lover that you respect his feelings for his mother. Here you can play on contrast - if your mother-in-law is actively fighting with you for a man’s attention, demonstrate a more loyal position.
Accept your husband's mother with all her shortcomings. Yes, you chose your husband, but you didn’t choose your mother-in-law, but no one chooses their parents. This woman may be grumpy, gloating or envious, but that’s her character - don’t try to change your mother-in-law and don’t create illusions about her.
Don't try to seem better to your husband's mother than you really are. Your husband has made his choice, which means that for him you are the best and the only one. Your mother-in-law will have to accept you for who you are.
Often a good relationship with the mother-in-law does not develop due to the fact that the daughter-in-law categorically ignores her advice. But who knows better than a mother about a person’s character traits and preferences? In some moments it is worth listening, and in other situations - thanking for the advice, but doing it your own way.
The best way to avoid conflict is to change the subject. Tired of listening to moral lectures? Pretend that you find her arguments convincing and ask, starting with the word “by the way,” how her blood pressure is, whether she planted carrots, etc.
Do not complain to your mother-in-law about your husband; the less she knows about your differences, the better. Create the appearance of an ideal family, even if everything is not so smooth.

The psychology of relations between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law is a separate science that you will have to comprehend if the relationship did not work out initially.

But the result is worth it - you will not only save your marriage, but also have every chance of finding a friend, an older sister, or even a second mother in your husband's mother.

0 Comments

Reminders for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

It is very rare when the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law develops in an ideal way. But it is within your power to make them at least acceptable.

Daughter-in-law, remember:

build relationships with your mother-in-law, because it is very important for your loved one that his women find a common language;
Don’t try to make your husband just yours. She is his mother, whom he loves;
accept your mother-in-law and try to love her. Congratulate you on the holidays, give gifts, but hide your ambition and don’t let yourself be offended;
when conflicts arise, do not involve your husband, turning him against the one who gave him life;
do not speak ill of her son, otherwise enmity is inevitable;
be a good wife, ask for advice and live separately.

Mother-in-law, remember:

if you want your son to be happy, do not try to replace his wife;
don’t try to crush the woman whom your son loved with all his soul. She is a free person;
Don't drag your son into conflicts. It will be difficult for him to make a choice. Don’t throw mud at your daughter-in-law and don’t get involved in the relationship;
don't force help. You need to help only when asked for it;
live in peace and harmony, show patience and friendliness;
put yourself in the place of your son’s chosen one, because she is also having a hard time now.

Psychology of conflict

Before we talk about reconciliation, we need to figure out why the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law did not work out.

The situation is aggravated if the husband is the only child in the family. It is difficult for a mother to entrust her beloved child to another woman; she thinks that the young wife will not be able to properly take care of him due to her young age or the fact that the mother has known her son all his life, and the wife only for a few years.

A mother wants her son to always remain with her, to be her support, support, and joy. The daughter-in-law feels like the main woman in her husband’s life and jealously perceives his relationship with her mother.

It happens that a daughter-in-law expects to see a second mother or friend in her mother-in-law, but the mother-in-law does not strive for such a relationship. This happens if the husband has a sister, that is, the mother-in-law already has a daughter and she does not need a second one.

Often, the daughter-in-law expects that the mother-in-law will give the newlyweds her living space, will sit with the children every weekend, help financially, etc. Such expectations arise if there were similar examples in the girl’s life.

If the newlyweds live with their husband’s mother under the same roof, it becomes even more difficult to establish relationships, because both women not only regularly compete for the affection of their husband/son, but also try to dictate their own rules regarding housekeeping.

The mother is used to living with her son according to her own rules, but then another woman appears. The daughter-in-law wants to reorganize the space, make repairs to her taste, or throw out the trash, which the mother-in-law does not allow.

The older the mother-in-law, the less flexible she will be in these matters and the more resentment there will be if the young people begin to do everything their own way.

When a man starts his own family and leaves his parents’ home, the mother becomes lonely and feels unwanted. Therefore, mothers-in-law often visit young people and bombard them with advice - in order to feel their importance.

Whatever the reason, relations can be normalized, and this should be done as soon as possible so as not to worsen the situation.