When we act aimlessly and only react to what happens every day, we drive ourselves into limits. Our character softens, we gradually lose the ability to set tasks for ourselves in accordance with our plans, and only the strength remains to react.
We move in the flow, we are influenced by the desires and goals of other people. Only years later does understanding come to us - we finally wake up and realize that we wasted our time pointlessly. Deep feelings and suffering arise, but it may already be too late to change anything. All this can be avoided if you stop living under pressure and take control of your life.
Control your thoughts
Life unfolds here and now. But often we let the present slip away from us, and we waste precious moments worrying about the future and remembering the past. At work we dream about a vacation, and on vacation we worry about the number of papers waiting for us at work. To live the way you want, you need to learn to live every moment.
Be attentive to the present and to your thoughts. Try to observe them, but not give in to their flow. Control your thoughts. You will notice how you begin to use your time more consciously and stop procrastinating. You will have more time and energy for important things.
Learn to enjoy the beautiful view, and don’t think about how long it will take you to drive home, eat cookies without thinking that they will add extra pounds to you. Allow yourself to simply enjoy the moment and don't feel unjustifiably afraid.
Live for today
The ability to live with the joy of today is happiness. Happiness is not a distant goal, but a natural way to travel if we have this golden habit: enjoying the simple things that always surround us.
You walk out of the house onto the street and the vastness of the bright sky and the dense freshness of the air spill over you. You walk down the street - birds sing to you, trees wave their branches, and you can run whenever you want. In the evening you will come home, it will be warm and cozy, you can turn on the yellow light and drink tea with lemon from a steaming cup...
Anyone who knows how to see this and live by it will answer the question about happiness: “Always!”
But “living in the present” can be different. At the Sinton forum, when this chapter was discussed: “Living in the future,” Alexandra responded with an objection: “Living in the present.” I liked it - she wrote it strongly. But it seems to me that she wrote about something else: about what? How will you read this? Word to Alexandra:
In distant sunny childhood, everything was “Later!”
Then I’ll do my homework, but for now I’ll go for a walk... Then I’ll do exercises every day, and now I’ll spend half a day drawing up a beautiful “Daily Routine” in a frame... Then I’ll find my Calling, and now I’ll graduate from this institute so that I have a crust... Then - I’ll have there will be a crazy romance with such a guy that all the girls will turn green with envy... but for now I’ll go ride a motorcycle with the cheerful goof Vaska...
Then I will be beautiful, rich and happy, I will go on business trips to London and Paris, write a book and learn to water ski... someday...
AND THEN - their children were born, and “then” was gone. I cannot put off writing a test until tomorrow if I have a free half hour today. Because tomorrow it is unknown whether I will have this half an hour. I cannot put off educational games with children, because they need to be taught now, while they are little. And I cannot become rich, beautiful and successful later - because they need to set an example today. I will do everything I can right now. Everything I want, I want today!
Then there will be diapers and chicken pox, sleepless nights and fatigue, endless tasks, more and more responsibilities and expenses, the first wrinkles, then it will become increasingly difficult to lose weight or learn French. Tiny houses in the south of France will become more and more expensive, a cozy chair and a blanket will become more and more attractive, it will become more and more difficult to compete with the young and hot... Therefore, you need to do it now! While I can. For now, the most important thing is that I want it. Until someone else wrote about what I wanted to write about... Until someone else bought that wrecked wreck by the sea that needed repair, which I saw yesterday in a dream...
If you don't think about the future...
In my opinion, this is not about “living in the present”, but about the inability to organize your future. This is about those who were engaged in empty dreaming, without turning their dreams into concrete plans. Those who lazily planned, seemed to plan, but did not do it. About those who did bullshit, who lived uncollectedly, distractedly and in a swing.
You can lose the present!
Indeed, if you do this for a long time, life is wasted, time is wasted and starting opportunities are lost. And when time has passed and life has pressed you, when it’s really hot, it really becomes difficult to think about the future... Now, when there is no more time and operational space is lost, you just need to spin in the “now”, plugging the holes and forbidding yourself to dream and plan, because sad I already have experience and conclusions have been drawn: planning is useless for me, dreaming is stupid for me.
Those who do not know how to plan for the future are forced to quickly hustle. And live only in the present.
I think you will prefer a big and free future to a forced and petty present. But you will have to work for him. Work and think. To even think about whether it’s right to be friends with the cheerful goofball Vaska...
To do something well, stop thinking about it
Giphy.com
We often feel like others are evaluating us every minute. For example, in a dance lesson you cannot relax because you know that you don’t know how to dance and you look funny in the eyes of others. Fear of judgment prevents people from trying new things. But every person is too busy with themselves to constantly celebrate your failures.
If something really scares you—speaking in public, having to talk on the phone to a stranger, or going to the gym for the first time—don't focus on it. This will only increase your fear.
Try to focus less on yourself. Pay more attention to what is happening around you. Recognize yourself as part of what is happening, and not the only actor. This will help you cope with emotions and react correctly to the environment. This way you can work on your weaknesses.
"Delayed life syndrome"
Postponing life for later is a psychological problem of not-so-lucky people in modern society, and the scenario of such procrastination develops in two directions:
a person’s life for the sake of one or two goals in the future (an expensive car or apartment, career growth) does not give the slightest chance for a little happiness in the present day - because true happiness, in the opinion of such a person, is possible only by achieving the goal he has set; living someone else's life - active participation in other people's events, all kinds of help to other people without paying attention to your own needs and desires.
This focus on future achievements and the miraculous emergence of a happy life allows you to avoid problems and conflicts with others, and responsibility for your own not very successful life. At the same time, people do not think that small joys are possible every day, but problems get worse over time, and their resolution will take much more internal resources.
To get the most out of time, lose track of it.
When you are absorbed in an interesting activity, you stop keeping track of time. This happens when we enjoy what we do. We also don’t count time when we sleep. But you can’t just throw yourself into an activity without wanting to, so it’s important to create optimal conditions for such activities.
Choose an interesting goal that will teach you something new. It shouldn't be so hard that you feel stressed while moving towards it, and it shouldn't be so easy that you feel bored in the process.
Thinking about the future
You can recall another parable from the Bible, where the Lord gave three people one ruble for a year. One didn’t bring anything after a year because he “spent it wrong,” and the Almighty gave him another chance to earn money. The second one was able to make a profit of five from one ruble, so he received a double profit as a reward for his ability to manage money correctly and work efficiently. The third brought the same ruble, which he tried to keep safe and sound.
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This ruble was taken away from him for his inability to use the resources of today (in other words, the inability to plan future income). The parable demonstrates the Lord's attitude towards people who do not want to do anything at all, but are happy to “celebrate” today, putting everything they have on the line.
Set your priorities
One of the problems that prevents us from achieving our goals is the difficulties we think about. We often think we have to do something when we don't. Think about whether you do something without desire, without seeing the point in it, just out of habit.
Is this really necessary or useful? To figure out what is important in your life, use Pareto's law - 20% of your actions bring 80% of the results. Find out what exactly that 20% includes and pay more attention to it, and take a fresh look at the remaining 80%. Try to invest less time and effort into them, making room for something useful.
Make a plan so that nothing distracts you. Write down all your affairs in detail. This way you will no longer have to be distracted while working and remember what else needs to be done. You can use the simplest planning. The main thing is that it is sufficiently detailed.
Don't think about the consequences
The slogan “Live for today!” can be viewed in two ways, and one of the positions from the point of view of benefit for a person will be negative-negative. Some human subjects put into it the meaning of receiving pleasure here and now without thinking about the consequences that today's actions may cause.
You don't have to look far for examples:
empty pastime: watching television every night, noisy parties, computer games are not beneficial for the body, but allow you to “kill time”; Why play sports if everything is fine for now? The key word here is “yet.” The day will come when restoring flabby muscles and the appearance of a belly will require more than one gym membership, but half-hour daily classes will help keep the body in good shape for years; unhealthy diets and fast food create health problems for many years, but all you need to do is take care of your own body every day by choosing the right food and drinks for it; senseless spending, unwillingness to save and plan money? Indeed, why deny yourself the two-hundredth blouse and the fifth professional eyeshadow palette and think about a rainy day, when exactly this amount would be useful for something useful? And if you think about it, planning expenses and reasonable savings will allow you to avoid living from paycheck to paycheck, go on a long-awaited vacation, and purchase a valuable, useful and long-desired item.
Modern society is full of temptations on which you can really waste your salary, energy, time and health. But the desire to live for today does not mean an unreasonable waste of life: it is assumed that a person fills his everyday existence with things useful for himself and society, pays attention to family and friends, engages in self-education, etc. A reasonable person tries to assess the impact that spending time without talent will have on his life, health, and the attitude of other people.
If something is bothering you, don't run from it.
We all experience negative emotions—the pain of separation, the disappointment of a failed school project, the fear of public speaking. It's quite normal.
However, the problem may lie in the fact that we begin to experience secondary emotions. For example, when we are angry about our fear of performing, afraid of the pain of separation, nervous at the thought of having to do a new project. So we only experience unpleasant feelings longer. The way out of this is accepting your feelings.
There is no need to try to change what happened. Just move on with your life without pushing away your emotions or judging yourself for them. Negative experiences allow us to grow if we are not afraid to analyze them.
