252
- Tweet
January 11, 2018 -
Why doesn’t he understand me at all, he only thinks about himself! Is he stupid or does he just not care about me? Why don't men understand women? What kind of psychology do they have? It feels like we are speaking different languages to them!
I ask a friend for advice, she recommends praising my husband for every action, for example, for not forgetting to buy bread on the way home, but I don’t appreciate any praise.
Trying to figure it out, I go to the Internet. It turns out that I’m not the only woman whom men don’t understand at all, and women explain all this in different ways.
Someone says that men will never understand women because they have different brains. Someone says that it is impossible to understand each other in a couple, since loving people have different zodiac signs. Someone says that the psychology of men and women is different. But what should I do with all this?
My man never understands me: why does this happen?
System-vector psychology knows the answer to the question of how to learn to understand each other, and explains all situations of misunderstanding in a couple through the difference in the vectorial characteristics of people.
Since we always see what is happening only through ourselves, that is, from our own bell tower, we compare everything with ourselves. This is why there is a perception of other people as being “wrong” with themselves.
But in fact, people with different mental properties - vectors - cannot behave in the way we consider correct, because the difference in mental properties also implies different value systems, different ways of reacting to situations in life.
Let's look at specific examples:
Situation 1: System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains:
You ask your man to come early from work in order to visit your mother on the other side of the city, and for some reason he begins to look for excuses that he needs to work and earn money.
And from his point of view, it seems to him that he is absolutely right, since for people with the skin vector, time is money, and your mother can wait, because there will be no material losses for her due to your lateness, but he can lose money if you leave work early.
He doesn’t realize that for a woman like you, communication and a good relationship with your mother are a hundred times more important and more valuable than any money. Indeed, in his system of values - a person with a skin vector - there is no value “your mother”, but there is a list of other priorities and desires.
Why can't a man understand obvious things?
Situation 2: System-vector psychology explains:
You can’t choose shoes in a store for a long time, because there are hundreds of them, and your man is constantly rushing you. As a result, you feel uncomfortable in front of the female salesperson, ashamed of yourself and your husband, and you leave with nothing.
The husband really does not understand why it is often difficult for a woman to choose something more than two things. After all, for people with the skin vector, making a choice is a couple of trifles, and, as a rule, there is only one criterion. He will choose what is more prestigious or more profitable in terms of money, where the discount is greater.
His psyche has all the qualities to make quick decisions. But for people with an anal vector, the choice is much more difficult, and when buying shoes, the evaluation criterion often becomes not beauty and price, but convenience.
Situation 3: System-vector psychology explains:
You are going shopping together, but there is a little laundry left to do, so you ask your beloved man to wait a little so that you can calmly hang everything up and leave the house with a clear conscience. In response, he begins to get nervous, irritated, constantly looking at his watch and shouting: “Why are you still bothering?” or “How long will we have to wait for you?”
A person with a skin vector really does not understand why you strive to complete everything. He has no idea that you will feel uncomfortable until you finish what you started, since in fact, finishing the job is the need of a person with an anal vector. Without the ability to finish what you started, you can easily get stressed.
He doesn't understand that friends need to be helped
Situation 4: System-vector psychology explains:
You are dating your school friend. But the woman’s life has not gone well, and she asks you to help her and lend her money. In response, you receive a decisive refusal from your man.
He doesn’t understand why you generally need useless friends and girlfriends, from whom there is absolutely no benefit in life: no connections, no money, no opportunities. Either it’s his business: not dating, but a club of “the right people.”
And your requests to lend money “out of old friendship” to this woman, because she once helped you and you feel obligated to her, are generally a mystery to him. And all because a leather worker’s perception of the world comes from the position of whether it is useful for him or not. And if friends are not beneficial, then why are they considered friends at all.
The male brain uses fewer neurons than the female brain
Girls are often sure that guys and men do not understand hints on purpose, thereby ignoring the desires of their companions. American scientists have made an interesting discovery: the male brain uses many fewer neurons than the female brain. The greatest activity of the male brain is noted in the temporal lobe of the left hemisphere, which allows listening, speaking, and understanding information. Whereas in the female it is in the temporal lobes of both hemispheres at once. This makes it possible to use both intuition and the analytical mind at the same time.
When it comes to hints of a sexual nature, there is no need to repeat it twice. Having a significantly larger hypothalamus and high testosterone levels, guys easily respond to such words.
He doesn't understand what gratitude is.
Situation 5: System-vector psychology explains:
You prepared a delicious dinner after spending half a day in the kitchen. The husband came home from work, quickly had a snack, everything quickly, quickly, run, run, you can’t get too much out of him. He left the kitchen without even saying thank you. It's a shame.
He really doesn't understand that "thank you" is important to a woman like you. From his point of view, it’s enough that he bought you new boots last week, or did you forget? And “thank you” is just a word that has absolutely no meaning for people with the skin vector. You can’t cash it in and you can’t put it in your pocket.
It's a different matter for people with an anal vector. For them, receiving gratitude for their work is very important, otherwise they will be offended by the one who did not thank or appreciate it. But your husband is not you, so he doesn’t feel it.
Situation 6: System-vector psychology explains:
You ran out of yeast at home, and you turned to your neighbor, who did not regret it and gave the last pack to you. In the end, you managed to bake a delicious pie, and now you are going to take a piece to your neighbor to thank her. The husband expresses his dissatisfaction in every possible way and does not see the need for this action.
He really doesn’t understand why you need to thank your neighbor so much. It’s great that you saved on yeast, and besides, that woman didn’t ask to return it to her, so why go to her?
The fact is that skin people do not have the feeling of gratitude that people with the anal vector feel. The heaviness in your soul that will not go away until you thank the one who did good to you is probably familiar to you.
Only in such a psyche is there a need for equality between “took and gave”, and only this equality gives a feeling of inner justice, inner comfort. Until you give it away - the feeling that you have to, and this is stressful and creates discomfort inside.
He doesn't understand how to be a good father
Situation 7: System-vector psychology explains:
A woman I know said that she saw your 15-year-old daughter with some rich boy at a club, and you share your fears and worries about your daughter’s honor with your husband. He responds by saying that there is no reason to worry!
He doesn’t understand why you are so worried about what people will think about your family if your daughter began to wear bright makeup and come home late, although she is only 15. A clean reputation is also the mental value of people with an anal vector.
A man with a skin vector cannot understand why you divide everything into “clean and dirty”. And if the daughter’s boyfriend is from a rich family and this is the 21st century, then this can generally result in a profitable marriage, so from his position there is no reason to worry.
What to do if a man has cooled off in correspondence
But no matter which of your signs is more pronounced or if there is something else that worries you, what you don’t need to do in such a situation is throw hysterics and interrogations.
You need to carefully find out that there really is something that can really distract him from you. There is a small chance that these are problems at work or in the family, but there is still a big chance that the reason is precisely his cooling.
Try to solve the situation with the help of my techniques, and if it doesn’t help, then the problem is more serious and needs to be solved individually. Seek advice for a personal consultation.
3 signs in correspondence that your man’s feelings are declining
Tagged on: there was a pause in the correspondence the man stopped offering to meet online correspondence why the man cooled down why he quit why he doesn’t write feelings the men cooled down over correspondence
How psychology can help a man understand a woman and vice versa
The knowledge in the field of the human psyche, which you can obtain at the training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan, makes any human behavior understandable, even if at first it seems wrong, offensive, unfair, etc.
If you learn to understand the mental properties of your partner, then:
All his desires, unwillingnesses, concerns, fears will be visible in full view.
You will stop expecting from him what actually is not and cannot be in him, which means you will not be disappointed.
You will understand the most effective way to negotiate with a man.
You will see the real reasons for a man’s behavior, understand why he behaves this way and not otherwise, and what needs to be done to make both of you feel good. Look what women say who have learned to distinguish the vectors of their man and understood, with the help of Systemic Vector Psychology, the reasons for mutual misunderstanding with him.
“...When I came to the training, I was sure that we could not save the relationship. Now I am developing a new relationship with my husband. And this is after twenty years of marriage, which led to complete misunderstanding and resentment. How is this possible??? Not only is there no trace left of insults and misunderstandings... Such unreal closeness appears in our relationship (sometimes, even after a long silence, we start saying the same thing!))) After 20 years, we are getting to know each other again! Isn’t this a MIRACLE?!”
Veronica D., Wil, Germany
“...I also realized that I love my husband, and he loves me, we just didn’t know how to love... and we almost got divorced, we will survive everything, this is a firm decision that I could not make a week ago. As for intimate life, it’s just a miracle. Let's start with the fact that I just want him. I want inner fullness and satisfaction. Previously, during intimacy, I remembered the order in which the planets are located in the Solar System...”
Arina S., pharmacist, Shadrinsk
To ensure that the problem of misunderstanding in your couple disappears from your life forever, register for the free online training by Yuri Burlan “System-vector psychology.”
Author Anna Mednikova
The article was written using materials from Yuri Burlan’s online training “System-vector psychology”
Difference in thinking: female - intuitive, male - rational
Conflicts mostly occur due to differences in thinking and logic. The girl easily follows her intuition, which in some cases actually leads to the right conclusions. But the guy doesn’t understand hints; he’s used to relying solely on reason, facts and the general situation. For example, if she wants flowers and hints from afar, he is unlikely to understand. After all, many are accustomed to giving them only in honor of significant events.
He is able to concentrate as much as possible on a single problem, while ladies are usually “multi-tasking.” In addition, they find it easier to get out of non-standard situations. And they make the right, albeit subjective, decision, while the stronger sex wastes time searching for a rational solution.
