Hi all! Lyudmila Redkina is with you. How often do you hate waking up in the morning? Have you ever had a feeling and desire to send everyone to hell? The routine is boring, there is no strength for activity, it constantly makes you sleepy and pulls you towards the refrigerator... And telltale folds appear in interesting places, and the dress or trousers just don’t want to stretch... And everything would be fine, but there is no goal, nothing interests, nothing I’m glad that more and more often the flabby body tends to sit on the sofa watching the TV with chips and Coca-Cola (in the best case). Today we will look for the answer to the problem of many people, how to find a purpose in life, if you don’t want to do anything, what to do to change your life for the better.
Why does a person need a goal?
Good question... Why are you studying? Why do you go to the store? Why this and that... Even children sometimes ask me the question: “Why do we study, and why then work, and why do everything...” And then we go to the psychological profile of the individual. It sounds complicated, but what is important to us is not the terms, but what a person is: what needs he has, what abilities or orientation, what motives of behavior.
His goals depend on this. For example, I want to be recognized and understood, and I’m also good at making videos, and I also want to earn a little or a lot of money. Therefore, my goal is to make a film about what is important to many. What will I get? They will understand and accept me (the film is relevant and interesting), I will become famous, and I will be able to make money from it. How I will go towards the goal is the second question.
So, we need a goal to fill the spiritual emptiness, to satisfy needs and realize ourselves. And this is much easier said than done. But don’t try to be discouraged or complain about life! As long as you have a goal, YOU WILL LIVE!
I recently read a story about a famous psychotherapist, Hedda Bolgar. She, for a minute, lived to be 103 years old! And the most interesting thing is that the last meeting with the client was scheduled for the day of her death. That is, Hedda worked until the very end! Therefore, goals in life are good, they are wonderful, they help us to be in motion and to live, and not to exist.
But we don’t always understand how to correctly set a goal in life and understand what you want to achieve.
Therefore, I suggest you take a test, for example, the “What is your purpose in life” test, which will help you figure out in which area you are most comfortable developing.
Most often, a person has such questions after failures in different areas, in turn or simultaneously. This leads to serious psychological problems. So, the loss of meaning in life can both play a cruel joke on us and give a new impetus to development. If you have such thoughts, I beg you, do not act rashly. Very little time will pass and you will see light in the window. Be patient!
We are drowning in whining, trifles and someone else's principles
Why do you care so much about someone’s behavior, what difference does it make what people think about us, how competently someone you don’t know and don’t want to know writes.
What percentage of your time and energy is filled with unnecessary reactions to all sorts of crap? Following rules invented by someone?? 90? 100? Do the math.
We drown in our own whining and self-pity. For what?? If you're tired of your job, stop going to it every day and whining - quit that job to hell. If your joints hurt, stop eating salt, change your diet, and take care of your health. If you were abandoned and you poor thing is depressed - look in the mirror, maybe there was a reason for that and it’s time to kick your fat ass and go to the gym, don’t crawl out of it until your form is perfect?
Send your depression to hell, get carried away with yourself and your life, cry not from grief, but from the beauty of the world and muscle pain after physical exertion..
Any whining is a reluctance to act.
Tips on how to find purpose in life when you don't want anything
I would like to note that we are now talking within the normal range, that is, we are not considering conditions such as depression, neuroses and other pathologies. We'll leave that to medical specialists. I was in a state where I seemed to be tired of the old and had no energy to start something new. Therefore, I know what I’m talking about when I need to give advice or recommendations if I don’t want to do anything.
This is definitely a period of crisis. Age or personality - only a consultation with a psychologist can find the answer to this question. But as you know, any crisis with the right approach is a huge and rapid step forward. Therefore, take advantage of this moment and take advice on what to do when you have no goal in life, reluctance to do anything and loss of interest in life.
If the situation is such that you can’t handle it yourself, then you can do it for free. If not, then the tips below will help you.
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Sergey Litan
Psychologist, psychoanalyst, researcher
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Hello, my name is Sergey. I am an expert in the field of psychology and psychoanalysis. I work by passion and love my job. I specialize in depression and anxiety. Over 20 years of practice, I have helped hundreds of people get their results: get out of depression, regain joy in life, put their inner state in order, get rid of fears, phobias and panic attacks. Years of research have allowed me to find the most effective “tools” for solving almost any situation and life scenario.
Tell me about your problem and I will help you.
Writes Pavel Butor, the author of this blog.
Recently, Sergey Litan helped me get out of a depressed state, get rid of internal fears and become happier. It will help you too if you want to ask for help.
My report is in this article.
Analysis is everything
Without analysis and summing up there is no progress. This applies to everything from renovations to life changes. If you don't know how to find new goals in life, start with what you have already achieved. Determining goals that have already been achieved has a certain psychotherapeutic effect - you organize your life, praise yourself for your achievements. Analyze what you have and what you want to achieve.
Ask yourself the question: “What do I want right now?” Strawberries? Easily! Ice cream? It's even easier! The analysis reveals the needs that are important right now. Let's start with this. Go ahead.
Opportunity Assessment
Let's say you want to go to the Maldives. But with a salary of $200–300, studies, family and a bunch of other expenses, you are unlikely to be able to get there in the near future. So now it's all gone? No! You just need to decide what you can have and what needs to be replaced. The Maldives, for example, is not the only island on the entire globe and you can find a more budget option.
But no one forbids you to go towards your original goal gradually - not this year, but next year. Finding a replacement helps a lot in achieving what you want in the shortest possible time.
Hobby
As a rule, a person has at least one hobby. For example, I like to knit, and I also develop my culinary skills. Think about what action brings you pleasure? I'm not talking now about roosting on the couch in front of the TV. I focus on ACTION. This is running, cooking, cutting and sewing, car repair or something else...
If nothing comes to mind on the topic of hobbies right now, learn about different types of activities. Perhaps even after 40 you will discover new abilities and talents in yourself!
Travel heals
You can define your goals suddenly, even without being at your usual place of work or home. Traveling brings brightness to our lives. They help us see how other people live, WHAT they live with, what goals they have. Perhaps on your next journey you will find the main goal in your life.
Well, if travel is difficult, try to change the environment periodically. This will help you look at your life from the outside, add a little something new and unexpected.
On this topic I read about an experiment on rats. Several animals were placed in a confined space without changing anything in it for a year. The result shocked the researchers: some attacked others with aggression, and some simply died. The experiment is not very optimistic, but it very clearly shows that monotony, monotony, isolation destroy all living beings.
Outdoor trips
Unity with nature is generally a powerful incentive to overcome laziness. We humans were originally intended to exist in harmony with nature. Let us remember the primitive people who slept on the ground and ate what they caught. Life itself forced them to get up and go hunting and organize their lives. And now we live better, but we have lost our goals, meanings...
When you don’t feel like doing anything, get up and go, go to nature. There it is better to analyze and evaluate your capabilities. You will now say: “Well, yes, what does she say, where can I find nature, being in a metropolis on the 34th floor of an office?!” But this location of yours is precisely the reason for your lack of desire to do anything and look for your goal. You have slipped into an existence of “wherever the wind blows.”
It's time to take a day off to connect with nature!
Communication
We are social creatures and therefore cannot live without communication. Otherwise, we begin to have serious psychological problems.
Look around you, how many unhappy people surround you. They live in their own world, just like you, and do not want to change anything in their lives. Stop withdrawing into yourself, communicate with others, find out their goals, what they strive for, what they want to achieve.
Physical activity
Take care of your physical health. Sports and active recreation make you feel better both physically and psychologically. Consider it your small goal to do 15 minutes of exercise every day. Physical activity helps the brain find a way out of the current situation. YES! Our psyche, like a lizard’s tail, knows how to recover.
If you say “I don’t know what I want from life and how to move forward,” start small - do exercises. This will help you stay afloat for some time while our “main computer” generates new ideas for our lives.
read books
There are excellent motivational books that charge you with motivation for every day. Read interesting stories about the paths of famous people “through hardships to the stars.” Such books and real stories open up new horizons. Often it is after such burning stories that people begin to invent something of their own, strive for something, and develop.
Look at things soberly
Often, sitting at home, people hope for a miracle, an improvement in the situation and a silver lining. But don’t indulge yourself with illusions - to achieve something, you need to put effort into it.
The ability to do something important against all odds is one of the best qualities of a person. You need to try to develop this quality in yourself. Soberly assess your capabilities and gradually begin to make plans for today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow. So you will lead yourself, set yourself up for small goals, then for big ones.
The main thing is not to fall into a state of stupor; any activity will benefit you. Even if it’s just to go outside, it’s already an action. And the action also triggers the endocrine system. The release of the happiness hormone will help you overcome this dark streak in life.
Do not leave your loved ones in this stupor. Act through force, force, beg, pull out. At the initial stage, coping with apathy is much easier than later. It will take maximum effort to return to life.
Reasons for lack of life goals
Before you start working on finding goals, you need to understand the reasons for their absence. Every person has a program to achieve what they want - evolution has taken care of this. The better this program works, the happier, more successful and higher than others in the social hierarchy the person is. Such a quality as determination is present in the basic personality settings.
Therefore, the absence of desires, aspirations, and dreams is not just bad, it is abnormal. This means that some kind of failure occurred and put the person out of action. You need to try to find the cause and eliminate it as quickly as possible. Usually, just recognizing the problem is enough for positive changes to begin. Therefore, try to honestly assess yourself and your condition.
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General apathy
A state in which you don’t want anything, have no mood and no strength, is called apathy. This is the bottom of the energy pit, where a person sinks gradually, without noticing it. For example, today you decided to skip your workout at the gym and stayed at home to watch TV series. Previously, you worked out regularly and did not allow yourself any indulgences, but the devil beguiled you to succumb to laziness.
The series turned out to be interesting, the blanket was warm and cozy, and even a vague feeling of guilt could not disturb the reigning idyll. You conclude that nothing terrible actually happened. Just think, you missed class once. Only after a while you wanted to repeat this experience, then again and again.
Once you are led by laziness, it is very difficult to stop!
And suddenly bam! It’s as if you wake up from a dream and realize that lying on the couch at home is more pleasant than anything else in the world. In such a state, a person has only one desire, to be left alone.
I've been through this and I know what I'm talking about. It is incredibly difficult to pull yourself out of such a hole, so you need to try not to fall into it. And it's not difficult at all. You just need to not allow yourself to be lazy. I just ask you not to confuse rest with laziness. The first is your assistant in achieving your goals, and the second is your sworn enemy.
Fear of failure
Fear was created by evolution to protect man from the dangers of the world around him. But sometimes it can become the main obstacle on the way to the goal or, in especially severe cases, even prevent these goals from being born.
As soon as a person begins to think about his dream, heavy thoughts immediately appear. I won’t succeed, what others will think, they will laugh at me, it’s a lot of stress, etc. I have to return to my cramped shell and continue to sit there.
Sound familiar? Then I have only one recipe for you, but you are unlikely to like it. If fear makes you not do something, it can also make you do it. So I'll have to give you a good scare.
About
How to define a goal and go towards it - course “Goal Setting”
We have identified the first steps to finding goals in life. But to find the true goal, you still need to try. I understand your situation and, as always, for practical skills, so I want to present an interesting, useful and effective course “Goal Setting”.
This is a short training from the Vikium company, you will complete it quickly, but you will also quickly acquire the following skills:
- achieve goals, go towards them by leaps and bounds;
- spend energy for its intended purpose;
- carry out all plans;
- increase the level of achievement;
- “touch” your dreams, achieving them;
- work more efficiently and live brightly.
Vikium offers a 7-day money back guarantee!
If you don’t know what to do, if you have no goal in life, then this course is just for you. After it, you will be inspired and inspired to reach new heights.
This investment in yourself will pay off very quickly, and you will become much more productive.
You have several options on which way to go: you can study on your own, or you can buy an online course for little money and achieve results as quickly as possible. In any case, there is a guarantee that you will improve yourself in this area. Read the review article on this blog:
- Brain simulators and courses Vikium - the most detailed and honest review of the online learning platform + reviews
Well, are we studying?
Also check out our article on goal setting. It discusses techniques, main mistakes and real-life examples.
Introduce good habits
We are not born with good habits, we acquire them. And somehow it turns out that successful people have approximately the same habits, while whiners and losers have approximately the same habits.
It would be foolish not to use this fact!
We take our habits of losers (whining, alcohol, etc.) and replace them with the habits of successful people:
- Take care of your health: running, nutrition, various sports and activities.
- Don’t worry about the opinions of other people, especially strangers and even close people, when you know for sure that you are doing something useful.
- Appreciate time - it’s not days that pass, but your LIFE that passes. Down the drain. There is no need to waste precious time on all sorts of crap, but spend it only on the things we need! Be able to brush aside and say No to unnecessary things.
- Saying “Yes.” Take it and do it! Don't be stupid. - We can think for a long time, weigh, find excuses - this is the habit of a loser. We replace it with the habit of Taking and Doing. And we will think later, in the process.
Constant growth and development
Never stop. Constantly break through your own ceilings with your head, raise the bar, increase the distances. This upward movement should always be there. Be afraid of stops.
No matter what age you started to wake up, growth is possible and should always be. After 50, my mother actively began to grow rapidly in yoga, which she practiced for half her life. Now she is 71 and she is an actively working yoga therapist, giving a good kick to hundreds of people who think they are sick, inflexible and no longer capable of anything, takes them through the Himalayas, puts those who cannot walk on their feet, raises the bar for the healthy... I try to come to I practice it every year for a month and make significant progress in yoga during this time.
Walk into fear
What are you afraid of? My favorite exercise is to do something every day that is scary or scary to do. Ask for food in a line with homeless people, climb another tower illegally, go surfing (I love surfing, but I’m still wildly afraid of the waves), meet someone on the street, take a helicopter pilot course, etc.
Every day, overcoming fear a little bit helps in important moments - when you need to do something really cool and very scary.
Important: what we fear most is most often what we really need!
