Why does a man call a woman by her middle name?

“The young man calls me by my first name and patronymic”

We have been dating for more than a year, all this time the young man addresses me only by my first name and patronymic.
He calls his friends, ex-wife and ex-girlfriends by name, but never me! I tried to talk to him about this topic, but he avoids answering, laughs it off, and everything remains the same. I want to understand why he behaves this way and how to react to it. Elena, how would you like to react? Answer that way. Protest, if you want to protest, don’t respond. Do what comes naturally to you.

The form of address that he chose either creates a distance, or, conversely, emphasizes the “jocularity” of the situation, the frivolity of what is happening between you. Perhaps in such treatment there is a hint of your communication style: for example, he plays a leading, patronizing role in the relationship. If he calls his ex-wife and ex-girlfriends differently, perhaps this is how he wants to emphasize your special status.

You say he “evades answering and laughs it off” when discussing this topic. What does this mean and how does he do it? How do you feel at this moment? Perhaps you are offended, or perhaps, on the contrary, you perceive this as flirting. The young man has been calling you that for over a year. Is this communication style affecting your relationship? Does it help you get closer or, conversely, push you further apart?

If such treatment is really unpleasant for you, try to tell him about it honestly. Tell us that you feel tense, dissatisfied, outraged. Try not to reduce the conversation to a joke, emphasize that this is really important to you. Perhaps your partner is sure that you like this game yourself, and has no idea how you really feel.

Boris Nikiforov

Alexey, look, a psychologist can say something about you, but only that other person can tell you about another person. I can say that you wrote a very short message, from which the following can be deduced - you are interested in a girl you know and you are not indifferent to her attitude towards you. The rest can already be assumed. For example, that you are careful about taking initiative, because you try to understand it indirectly, without asking directly - you catch signs and try to decipher them. You caught a sign that has something to do with what you want from her. The sign is “naming by name,” which usually means bringing people closer together, the emergence of some kind of closer relationship between them. That is, perhaps you are concerned about your relationship with her. If, Alexey, this is the case and you are concerned about the relationship with this girl, for example, if you want to get closer, and you are looking for signs from her so that this will be successful, then there is usually only one option - to say about your desire. And this is the only way to get an accurate understanding of whether you will get closer or not. Whether this is a mutual desire or not. You can start concretely and with small things, such that you are pleased, for example, that she now calls you by name. Because she, for example, is very interesting to you as a person. If you are interested in some other aspect of your relationship with her, then I recommend writing a more detailed post and I am sure that the experts will give worthy recommendations!

Good luck to you! Seek advice if you need support in building relationships.

21.01.13

If a man calls you by his first name and patronymic, we’ll find out all the nuances

An important component of the relationship between a couple in love is addressing each other. Usually it sounds in the form of diminutive nicknames. Often the fair half of humanity focuses on whether the chosen one calls her by name or not, which is the basis for the problem.

Careful communication is important in relationships

Cats, bunnies and other animals

“Cat”, “bunny”, “fish”, “swallow” - all these nicknames come from childhood, from cartoons and children’s fairy tales about animals. A man affectionately called a “bear cub” can personify that same teddy bear from childhood, once given by his parents and becoming a “transitional object.” This term refers to an object that creates a feeling of psychological comfort in a child in a stressful or unusual situation and relieves the stress of parting with his mother.

In adult life, we also need someone next to whom we feel calm, protected and confident. And such cute nicknames help to unconsciously return to the atmosphere of early childhood. They symbolize the unconditional love that a mother feels for her child, and we, in our adult present, for our partner.

What does a guy call and what does it mean?

Does your man often call you bunny or kitty? Or maybe just sweet or dear? Have you ever wondered what this means?

Psychologists advise you to listen to the nickname that your loved one gives you, in this way he unconsciously expresses his attitude towards you. After all, every nickname contains very interesting and useful information.

Affectionate nicknames

Sunshine, berry, doll, sweet, candy, honey. Such nicknames are mainly found in the initial stages of a relationship. They show that a man is attracted to you and has boundless tenderness. Falling in love and passion dominates your relationship now. Enjoy the candy-bouquet period.

Animal nicknames

Kitten, tiger cub, elephant calf, squirrel. These messages show that your chosen one has a playful and tender attitude towards you. He is ready to take care of you and give you his warmth and affection.

Standard nicknames

Beloved, sweet, dear, dear. This is how men usually call those in whom they are confident and whom they want to call their wife. They take responsibility for you and are ready to be with you under any circumstances.

What does your nickname mean?

In order to finally understand your partner’s feelings, let’s take a closer look at the following examples of nicknames:

Pay attention to what your lover calls you. Interpret his words and message correctly. Thus, you will begin to better understand how your partner is feeling at the moment, you will be able to significantly improve your relationship and direct it in the direction you need.

Romantic and pretentious nicknames

“My life”, “my love”, “the pearl of my heart” and similar nicknames are an indicator of your partner’s insincerity. Most likely, he just loves to say beautiful words and shower his partner with compliments. But words can remain just words, and when the time comes to act, such a romantic will simply leave the stage.

Of course, you should remember that everything depends on the situation, and if we are not talking about the candy-bouquet period, but about an already established relationship, then the phrase “the light of my eyes” said with irony is rather a request for attention from the partner.

Why do men call by name?

Predictions say that the partner has serious intentions, the result of which will be entering into a legal relationship with the chosen one. However, it may also be a matter of ordinary habit, as well as the upbringing of an individual. If a man was raised by parents with a special family structure, the person may not have a living example of affectionate addresses or diminutive nicknames. Moreover, there are families in which discipline is stronger than subordination in the office, when people address each other formally, even as “you.”

Beloved/beloved, dear/darling

You can also add the following to the list: “dear / dear”, “my good / my good”. All these addresses can be called quite formal and banal, and they indicate the same formal attitude towards you (in the event that your partner calls you that all the time). It’s just that your companion or companion calls you words that, as it seems to them, are customary to express tender feelings.

Nina Prokhorova

Good day to you, Alexey!

The way a girl acts can mean a lot or nothing. Perhaps she herself could not explain this to you, and not because she does not know or does not want to know, but because she simply did not think about it. However, every action has its reasons. Just like there are reasons for your bringing this question here. After all, if she is familiar to you and you communicate, then wouldn’t it be easier to ask her this question? But it doesn't seem to be any easier for you. Perhaps even very difficult. Then the question arises - why? And here there can be many possible answers. I wonder if you can answer this question: “Why don’t you ask her?”

An interesting activity is exploring yourself, your thoughts and actions. And most importantly, very grateful. If you understand a lot about yourself, it will be easier for you to understand other people.

Good luck and all the best to you!

Evaluate the experts' answers. This is important for us.

In what cases can you be called by your middle name?

A masculine act, when even in correspondence a guy addresses his partner not “Marina”, but “Sunny” or replaces nicknames with pronouns, we will correct it. If a young man does not call a girl by name, psychology suggests the following:

You can laugh at nicknames

Calling each other by last name, first name and patronymic is rather a comic phenomenon that does not have a mocking connotation. Although even this can “stick” stronger than “kitty” and “dove”.

Address by last name or patronymic

Calling by last name or patronymic/first name speaks of a need (not always realized) to distance oneself from a partner. In a couple, the relationship is more formal and official than close. In this case, it is difficult to talk about the spiritual closeness of partners: such treatment is primarily an indicator of respect, not love and tenderness.

However, if, for example, a wife sometimes calls her husband by his first name and patronymic in the presence of third parties, this may indicate her desire to emphasize his social status. It also says that she is proud of her husband and his position in society.

Netizens' responses

Ri Point™

What's wrong with that? I know many families where they jokingly call each other by last name, and some just mommy, daddy, if there are children.. I don’t see a problem with this….

OH

Yes, there’s nothing wrong with that... it’s just that our maiden name is different... and when you get married, you have the choice of leaving it or changing it to your husband’s last name... and men are sometimes very principled in this matter... and if the maiden name is also more euphonious, then they also get angry... but they say that this is a good omen - the husband will live long... and there is one more reason... by calling her husband by his last name, the wife emphasizes that she is, of course, married, but her father’s blood... that is, her father’s character :)

Titanium

Addressing the children's father, the head of the family, by last name always sounded like a slur in our family. And she showed and paid attention to those actions of her father that her mother did not approve of.

Ksenka

I often call my husband by his last name. We have different surnames, my surname is my own skin, I didn’t want to rip it off :) his surname is pleasant to the ear for me personally, and since I’m curious, I also found out what it means. this is the first thing. and secondly, I don’t really like the masculine name that my parents called my husband, although my dad and my father-in-law are called the same as my husband, but I like it as a middle name, but not as a first name.

Berkana

Well, my husband and I sometimes call each other that; it’s more of a joke than a sign of disrespect for our spouse.

Stella_Chirkova

In my opinion, exactly how the wife calls her husband with his consent and approval does not indicate anything other than the personal preferences of this couple.

yummy

I don’t see anything embarrassing in this, it’s rather strange to call your husband a fool or an idiot, this is alarming, and I hear this much more often among

those around. Somehow, before I went to work after maternity leave, I got into the habit of going to my husband’s work, “like to remember a little how to work. He is my director there, but no one knew me or had ever seen me before, so at first I called him there by his patronymic name just like that, so the staff thought that I was a new employee. Now I was already laughing to myself, but when they found out that I was a wife, I began to behave differently... Here is your middle name.

kareliya

It’s just that when a wife calls her husband by his last name, it looks as if she wants to emphasize that he is from a different family, like a stranger, but the husband and wife should already be a single family and both now have the same last name (most often). Sometimes I don’t even understand who the girl is talking about, “Ivanchenko will return from a business trip today,” but it turns out that it’s about her husband or her boyfriend. And by the way, in educational institutions teachers are advised to address students by their first name, and not by their surname. Remember how unpleasant it was at school if your classmates addressed you by your last name, they always said “I have a name!”