What to do if your husband doesn't love you

My husband said that he doesn’t love me - how can I understand, and most importantly, accept these words?

People tend to talk about their feelings for each other. This is especially necessary for women - verbal expression of emotions is in their blood.

Why men don’t like to talk about secrets and remain silent until the last moment, that there is no more love - find out from this article.

Is this so?

Unexpected coldness on the part of the spouse, the cessation of confidential conversations - this can make you think that the spouse no longer has feelings. This situation becomes a nightmare for women who are completely dedicated to their family. It is difficult for them to imagine how they will continue to live without their loved one. How to determine whether your beloved has really stopped experiencing tender feelings?

Signs of cooling on the part of the spouse

Women whose husbands have stopped loving them claim that this is easy to determine by certain signs:

the husband began to pay little attention;
he stopped giving gifts;
sex life has become much worse;
the husband began to work late.

Psychologists say that decreased sexual activity, absent-mindedness, and isolation may be associated with overwork or stress. It is likely that the beloved has problems at work, which he does not want to burden his chosen one with, but he cannot distract himself from them even at home. If your lover has been depressed for a long time, sex has become rare, he has become irritable - all this can be a sign of depression or some kind of illness. Therefore, there is no need to rush to conclusions and assume that your husband no longer loves you.

Husband doesn't love his wife: signs

A crisis in a relationship hits 99% of couples in love.
Only with the advent of vast life experience, spouses are able to firmly maintain a balance of feelings and respect for each other. Not only women experience stages of doubt, but even men are susceptible to jealousy for no reason and depression caused by fatigue, problems at work and personal life. The main signs that a man no longer has loving feelings towards his significant other:

absolute indifference to her affairs;
does not sleep in the same bed with her, or regularly turns away from her;
ignores joint breakfasts, dinners and lunches on weekends;
does not give gifts and demands them himself;
does not want to hear about her difficulties and does not let her know about her affairs;
nitpicks over trifles and criticizes for minor mistakes;
does not fulfill her requests and obligations around the house;
communicates regularly with other women;
ignores calls from his wife and does not return calls;
behaves selfishly, not combining achievements, goals and objectives into the word “we”.

There is no need to take radical measures until the true reasons and motives of the spouse’s behavior are clarified; they can be caused by external circumstances that the spouse may not even be aware of.

Women are by nature mysterious and unpredictable creatures, but men should not be underestimated in this regard. Even at the first stage of a relationship, a man is able to misunderstand his nature and confuse being in love with sincere and full-fledged feelings. This then develops into misunderstanding and a complete lack of sympathy for his chosen one. In this case, only separation will help the couple continue to live happily and calmly.

In situations where the woman is directly to blame, she will personally need to correct her attitude towards herself. Often, after betrayal, women demand, after the man’s forgiveness, the same attitude as before. But returning feelings in full is almost impossible and the man’s behavior becomes unpredictable. A detailed reboot of relationships and a change in views on their status are required.

A man does not tolerate humiliation of his personal dignity; if his wife, by mistake or inexperience, in a circle of friends, at a public event, or even in a personal conversation, has questioned her husband’s high self-esteem, then expect an immediate cooling of feelings. The spouse is able to return them to their previous level by promptly apologizing, or by intelligently reducing the situation to the level of comic. In the hope of a sense of humor and understanding on the part of the husband, it is possible to correct this miscalculation, but in the future it is necessary to strengthen concentration and prevent this from happening.

If a man falls in love with another woman, then his feelings for his wife change. When it is clear that he has lost interest in the relationship, but his eyes are burning, this is a clear sign of an outside relationship. In this situation, the wife decides what she should do, return the unfaithful man or file for divorce. Often the presence of joint children forces the spouse to forgive and compromise towards the betrothed, but mistakes should not be forgiven more than once.

My husband is always dissatisfied with something

As a result, the signs are critical and signal. In the first case, it is better to get a divorce, and in the second, turn on the cleansing mode or a new start to the relationship and try to save the marriage.

How to distinguish characteristics by type is indicated in the table:

Signals that encourage action	Critical signs
interest in other women	regular betrayals
detention at work	numerous requests for a divorce
manifestation of selfishness, withdrawal into oneself	complete lack of emotion
lack of passion in sex, ignorance and passivity	disgust towards spouse, cruelty

Husband communicates with ex-wives - what to do?

Signs of lost love

Are there clear signs that will indicate that the husband has grown cold? Yes, these include the following:

offensive language towards the spouse;
showing dissatisfaction with the appearance and behavior of the wife in order to offend her;
ridicule in the company of acquaintances and friends;
blackmail, screams, threats;
physical violence, beating.

A man who uses physical and psychological violence and raises his hand is unlikely to love his chosen one. He can find a thousand excuses for his actions and swear his love until the grave, but such a union does not have a happy future. It is worth carefully weighing all the pros and cons of such a marriage before continuing to live with your husband.

What to do

Many women are familiar with situations when they are absolutely sure that their spouse no longer feels anything for them. Perhaps he himself said so and suggested a divorce. Psychologists say that the pain of betraying a loved one can be compared to the bitterness of losing a loved one. What to do if the husband does not love his wife?

Experts give recommendations on how to behave in such a situation:

Let go of your lover and move on with your life. Letting go of a partner for whom you have strong feelings is not easy. But there is no need to keep a lover close to you who plainly says that he no longer has feelings. Sooner or later, the spouse will leave the family nest.
Cut off all contacts with your chosen one. Even chance encounters will open up emotional wounds. Change the situation, go on vacation with your friends - this will make it easier for you to get over the breakup.
Communicate with other representatives of the stronger sex. At first, making new acquaintances will be difficult, but over time, communication can develop into something more than friendship.

How to live on

Of course, at first it will be difficult for you. No matter how your husband has behaved lately, this is the person with whom you have lived your little life. Do not under any circumstances give up on yourself and think that your chances of happiness are lost. During the acute period, you need to spend time with loved ones. Try not to be alone with yourself. Also, I remind you that it will be useful to go away for some time, where nothing reminds you of him. A change of environment helps you take your mind off thoughts related to your past. You can change your image, go shopping, anything that could help you bring at least some joy in your current situation. Don’t withdraw into yourself, if you feel that you can’t cope on your own, contact a psychologist, this is absolutely normal in such a situation, a specialist will help you get out of a depressive state with the least loss for yourself. And most importantly, remember that a black stripe is always followed by a white stripe. Strength and patience to you, dear ladies!

Hold on at all costs

Some representatives of the fair sex refuse to believe that there is no more love and begin to fight for their spouse. When choosing such a line of behavior, you need to decide why you need to maintain such a marriage. If it seems to a wife that she will not be able to continue living without a life partner, that another man will not want to connect his life with her, and her appearance, age or the presence of children will not allow her to arrange her personal life, it is better to seek help from a specialist. Such behavior is not love, but more like emotional dependence on a partner.

Requests for help Write your story

There was a collapse in life. Trouble came from an unexpected direction. My husband files for divorce. Told me a couple of days ago. He says that there is no more love, he doesn’t feel anything towards me. “I will file for divorce.” As soon as I heard these words, the ground disappeared from under my feet. After all, before this I didn’t notice any special signs. He had a lot of work and I attributed his behavior to fatigue. He says he has no one. Goes nowhere. Didn't cheat and leaves because it could happen. And supposedly he doesn’t want me to be in more pain. We have been together for 10 years, we have a son, he is 8. Three years ago there was a similar story. He left us with the same words. But he held out for about a week, then prayed that it was a mistake, that he couldn’t live without us. I forgave. And now it happens again. It is almost impossible to convey my internal state in words. It’s as if all the bones in the chest have been broken and the entrails are being wrapped around a skinning drum. How to tell my son? I decided not to say anything for now, my dad went on a business trip. Let him get used to living without him at least a little. I don't know how it would be more painless. There is still a glimmer of hope in my soul that he will return. On the other hand, I understand that I don’t want to live with a traitor. I browse this site day and night. How to cope?

Marina, age: 29 / 05.11.2020

Responses:

Hello, Marina! I want to support you and say that you are not alone with such trouble, unfortunately. We need to let him go, once and for all, especially since this is not the first time. I’ll tell you honestly, this is my first time in this hell and only recently. My husband left 2.5 months ago, as if it were yesterday, the pain is a little duller, but it would have been even easier if he hadn’t been dragged to his daughter. I’ll tell you about my misfortune: everything was fine, then I got a promotion at work, became a boss, then I began to feel coldness toward myself and indifference to my long-awaited daughter. We made plans until the last day, and on the evening of August 21, he told me that he had fallen in love. Then my life, our future, everything collapsed. I said, “Go away,” but it looked like he was just waiting to run away. I grabbed my passport, said “Thank you for everything,” and jumped into the car to meet a new life, leaving behind 15 years with me. I’m writing to you now, and tears are flowing, my daughter is sleeping next to me, it’s most offensive for her. You can’t tell everything, of course, but he was caring, especially with the advent of his daughter, very gentle. And then I began to feel cynicism, arrogance, disgust for people, but I did not understand that this could affect me too. Marina, I beg you, just don’t humiliate yourself in front of him, don’t ask him to stay, he’s already stayed once. HE WHO BETRAYS ONCE WILL BETRAYAL A SECOND, AND HAPPEN A THIRD. So let him go his way. I was dying for the first couple of weeks, lost 15 kg, did nothing, just looked for answers to my questions on the Internet and, thank God, I came across this site, it really helps me survive, as soon as the tears start flowing, I immediately come here, I start to be treated. There are so many examples of so many women's destinies. Find a hobby, take care of yourself and your child. I’m not a gift either, I’m a depressed person with a bad character, I’m used to my husband doing everything for me. And now I enjoy the beauty of autumn and the rain, I began to change. Maybe this is what I needed. God knows best, He sends us the trials that we need, perhaps which will change us. It will be easier for Marina, I know that for sure, give yourself time, pay attention to yourself, I assure you everything will pass. In the meantime, if you want to cry, cry, if you lie down, lie down, but not for long, life goes on, your husband could not go anywhere, most likely the fairy already exists, everything he says is nonsense. You don’t need to believe him, just let him go, close the door in your heart and survive, and then, most likely, both I and you will understand that this is for the better. It’s hard for me too and I don’t know who to talk to anymore, my whole family is tired, I understand it myself, so I cry alone, if I press him and read a prayer, then relief comes. I think they will tell you how to explain it to your son, my daughter is one year old, so there is nothing to explain. I can't tell you anything about this. Marinochka, everything will be fine, the main thing is to believe, God will put everything in its place, I ask and he helps me, however, you also ask, and he will give you strength. He is a traitor, he has no place next to you, remember this. Don't step on the same rake a second time. Start loving and respecting yourself.

Natali, age: 30 / 06.11.2020

Hello Marina, my situation is similar to yours. He also started saying that he doesn’t feel anything towards me, he’s gone nowhere, there’s no one there, my story is here 03/10/2020 Forget-me-not, read it if you’re interested. All this is nonsense and lies, there is a strong smell of other people’s perfume here, let him go, you don’t need him, he has already left, abandoned and betrayed you and again this has already happened again, on a larger scale. I, too, like you, went crazy, but now a year later I’m better, really better, I’ve learned to rejoice and smile without him! And I am happy! And then I thought I would die, I just wouldn’t survive, but no, I still survived!! And everything will be fine with you! It will certainly happen, and this pain and sadness will pass, sunny days will come full of joy and love! Believe me, it will happen, I didn’t believe it either when they told me. People who have gone through this know and give good advice! All the best to you!!!

Forget-me-not, age: 34 / 06.11.2020

Hello, Marina! Accept your husband’s decision, let him go nowhere, or rather where, but it doesn’t matter. You correctly said that he is a traitor, abandoning his family, and if you do not want to constantly suffer, then let him go in peace. You need to go through all this, suffer, cry and understand why you chose this man as your husband, so as not to make such mistakes again. There is a forum on the site, there are many similar topics, read them and articles on the sites of the Perezhit.ru group. All the best!

Vitaly, age: 39 / 06.11.2020

Marina, I really want to support you, I read your letter, I feel so sorry for you. Everything is fresh with you, I remembered my pain. But I can confidently say that everything will pass, no one can say how quickly, it’s different for everyone... But don’t believe that it’s going nowhere! If he didn't have a fairy, he wouldn't even think about leaving. You will see, you will immediately know that there is someone. Let go! Don't be humiliated. My BM also left like that for the first time, also for three days, and then I found out that it was the same one, only the children there didn’t accept him, so he returned quickly. And the second time, 10 years later, I found him without children and left forever. Don’t be afraid to be alone, everything will be fine with you, my life has only gotten better, I blossomed, lost weight, became younger, but for a year and a half I was very ill, I howled with mental pain, plunged into darkness, went to church and sometimes felt absolute “happiness.” “When I was skiing in the park, and then again I was overcome with longing for that life when I had a complete family, and you will survive this pain, Marina! God help you!

Gulnaz, age: 42 / 11/06/2020

Dear Marina. I want to support you. I really don’t want to voice my assumptions. My story also began with “gone to nowhere...”, but it turned out to be very “to where...”. My story is six months old. I don’t remember how I lived for the first three months. She believed that she would return, come to her senses, that no one was there. She begged, cried, called home. And I spent days on this site. I read the stories and wrote my own. I didn’t want to delve into the responses and advice that was given to me here. I believed that everything was different for me than for others. Naive. I think you won’t hear me now, but I will try: 1. “Kill” the hope of returning, no matter what happens. As soon as “what if, what if...” starts in your head, switch immediately. It is difficult, the effort is incredible, but it is possible. May the Lord forgive me, but imagine that he died. Now he’s gone, and that’s it. 2. Do not call or write first (only in case of emergency). No word on a possible return. 3. It is advisable to remove yourself from all social networks so that there is no desire to go to his page 4. There is a 99% chance that during your meetings he will begin to “rock” you (I feel bad “there”, I am so and so, I loved you , “there” pulls or something similar). DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. AT ALL. He is “testing the waters,” looking at the possibility of an “alternate airfield.” All your communication, both in person and by telephone, should be exclusively for business matters. 5. Get angry with him. And on yourself. For yourself first. Think that he is building his life now, and you are “sitting by the window.” And you wait. Move forward. As much as you can. I'm still coping with varying degrees of success, but it's really gotten a lot easier for me. One day I am cheerful, the next day work “attacks” me. And for the third day I’ve been lying on a stake. But every day it gets easier and easier. The acute pain has passed, and the pain comes less and less often. Fight. Fight for yourself, save yourself. Say mentally: “I will not allow myself to be destroyed. I'm alive, healthy, happy. Everything is ALREADY fine.” I hug you, Marinochka. You can handle it

Lydia, age: 30 / 06.11.2020

Marina, dear, it’s almost impossible to survive this without God. It is possible, but it will be extremely difficult and long. It is clear that you are in shock. You cannot accept reality, it seems that all this is a bad dream... In any case, pray and ask God to rule according to His Will. Everything will work out in the most useful and beneficial way for you. Believe me. Hold on to God and the Mother of God. I'm going through a collapse myself. And I understand you very much.

Resurrection, age: 38 / 11/06/2020

Dear Marina! I understand you very much. It is very painful and seems impossible to accept with the heart. Most likely, he has another woman, he is simply afraid to confess to you. When you read all the stories here, you want everyone to do well. Say that a similar story has already happened. This means he already has a predisposition to leave. Think about it, if suddenly he returns now and you accept him, then in a few years he may leave, then you will be much worse off. I think you need to let him go. You are still a very young woman and can find yourself a husband who will love and respect you. Hold on, it will hurt right away, but over time the wounds will heal and it will become easier. I wish you to be happy!

Gala, age: 50 / 06.11.2020

Dear Marina, I couldn’t ignore your letter. I will write as a daughter. I’ve been in this state for a year and three months, everything is familiar. The pain doesn't seem to go away. No, he's leaving. Comparing myself a year ago, I clearly understand that no matter what they say about time that doesn’t work... It works. Slowly, slowly, but surely it works. Just believe it. Marina, you are 29 years old, this is just the beginning of life. Now many will write to you that you cannot forgive a traitor and they will be right a thousand times. I went through betrayal, repentance, forgiveness and everything was in vain. I will not tire of repeating that betrayal is a basic quality of a person and it is unchangeable. Someone wrote here that fornication is like the bite of a rabid dog, there is no cure! It is possible to survive a divorce, it will take a lot of strength, patience, endurance, but, Marinochka, 29 years old!!! Your husband won't stop. I know, I know, dear girl, how painful it is to read this and I want to hear something completely different, something comforting, but accept this bitter pill as an immutable fact. The most important and difficult thing is to accept the situation, face the truth and see the truth there. You will think for a long time that you can return everything, forgive, fix it. You can’t, my dear, you can’t. And I say this not as an aunt who is angry with the whole world, but as a thinking person who has thoroughly studied and worked on this situation from all sides. I still love my “untimely departed”)))) husband. Or rather, I love the memory of us and the time when we were happy. But I don’t want to know a person who was mercilessly cruel. So you leave the good and bright in your memory and learn to live without it. He will get you into even greater trouble. You can forgive again and again, but he will destroy you more and more. Stop the process of destruction for your sake, for your son's sake. Where to get strength? Parents, friends, art, nature, medical care. To everyone caught in this terrible bone crusher, it seems that the pain will never end... It will end! You, dear Marina, can’t even imagine how easily and freely you will breathe when you understand that your husband will no longer be able to cause you a bit of pain, because you are no longer in his coordinate system, out of reach. Fight for yourself, everything will pay off. Do not be deceived about your husband and do not waste precious years on someone who sold you twice. Marinochka, may God give you strength and health. Don't give up, take everything into your own hands. Your whole life is ahead and it will be wonderful. Not all men betray. Meet your destiny. Maybe she’s nearby?) Hugs to you, Marina.

Lyudmila, age: 60 / 06.11.2020

Thanks for support. It’s very nice that there are caring and sympathetic people. I didn’t think it would be so hard, I couldn’t sleep or eat. My child has to go to school every other day after the holidays, but I can’t put myself back together. He still calls every day, saying that he lives at our dacha. And there is no water or light there. How long is he there for? The hope of his return does not allow me to breathe calmly. There is such a confrontation between heart and mind inside me. I don’t write to him or call him. If you love, let go. I'm trying to set myself up according to this principle. Only on this site can I dissolve a little, realizing that I am not alone. More time would have passed. I came up with a bunch of things to do to keep myself from getting sour. So far, the only conclusion I have made is not to completely dissolve in a person, to be an independent unit, to have your own hobbies. And it turned out that I became a free housekeeper. I’m writing now and it’s getting a little easier. Anger at him begins to grow. It’s good that financially I can support both myself and the child. Thank you for your responsiveness.

Marina, age: 29 / 08.11.2020

Hello, Marina. He is deceiving you. From my own bitter experience, from the experience of women who have gone through all this, I can say that 99%, someone is there. And how long. And everything is planned. It’s just that he is not only a traitor, but also a coward and a weakling. Your son is 8 years old, and you are only 29, which means you have been together since a young age. Now, he’s played enough with the family, now he wants butterflies in his stomach, chemistry, emotions. This is the type of people. They fall in love one after the other, but they cannot feel real love. You now need to understand that he does not love you. Do you want to live with such a person until old age, spend your whole life on him? YOU ARE ONLY 29 YEARS OLD!!! And my son is already 8. So many wonderful things await you ahead. What do you want? Achieve a stunning career and financial independence? So you will achieve it. Marry a wonderful person? So you'll go out. Do not doubt. Now get together and divide the property in the most beneficial way for you and the child. You distance yourself from the traitor, set a goal for yourself, and move forward. Through pain that will pass over time anyway. It passed for everyone. I have 2 children, I’m 34, everything is the same, he doesn’t have anyone, the feelings just went away. Then I only found out from neighbors that as soon as I left our common home with the children, I immediately started taking my girlfriend there. 2 years have already passed, he lives with her, there is no desire to see the children, and to my requests to sit with them the answer is: “I have another family.” And you won’t be left alone, that’s for sure. They’ve already offered to marry me, he’s a good guy, I’m just not ready yet. And everything will be fine with you.

Teana, age: 34 / 11/08/2020

Well, how are we all coping here, my dear?))) With prayers and God’s help)) Walk more, breathe air, find a hobby, something you like, sports are very distracting, fitness, the pool is super helpful. We have all experienced or are experiencing betrayal, betrayal, cruelty on the part of loved ones. That's life. Everything will pass, this too will pass! It cannot be any other way))).

Evgeniya, age: 38 / 11/26/2020

Marina, hello! I understand your situation very well, as does everyone here. I’m 25, I also went nowhere, home to my mother, we were together for 9 years, the relationship was always pure and honest, both techies, they were used to speaking honestly in person and to the point, there was always something to talk about, common interests, I had no doubts until the last day in it, and in the end she came from work to an empty apartment, from where he took things out one day without warning. A month of silence, I didn’t even know the reason, then a cold conversation via correspondence (!), as if the person had been replaced, and total silence for several months now. In short, what I figured out and what I want to share in order to somehow lighten your burden: 1. It will be painful and difficult for you exactly as long as you feel sorry for HIM: replace his actions and words in your head with how good he was literally a week before, let these actions go on the brakes, “after all, we love each other,” think that it’s also difficult for him, that he’s about to understand his mistake or has already understood, but is afraid to return, and now you’ll settle everything by doing the first step, because he was simply mistaken, and by waiting it out or doing something on your part, you will save all of you together. Forget about it. There is no need to think about it, although you really want to, because you are the closest person and have always felt it, but now this is not the case. The person doesn’t think about you, doesn’t worry. Only you are worried here, because now you have a hole in your chest and pain in your back and neck, it is YOU who has the desire to discuss/settle/write, etc. When there is a desire, it cannot be restrained - people take it and do it. He doesn't have one. No matter what he really feels. There is no desire to do anything. And you won't do it for him. 2. Accept that the person who dares to tell you that he doesn’t love you is a stranger. Your beloved husband, a close and dear person, would never say such a thing, but here it’s as if it’s a different person. This is not theater or a dream, they really speak to you as if you were a stranger, understand that from now on you have no right to get into a person’s soul, try to unravel his thoughts, as before, it is useless, accept his decision as the decision of any stranger - take my word for it. 3. To create a family, bright love is not enough, as it turned out). After all, feelings can cool down and be reborn, probably every person here with experience living together can confirm this, but it is necessary that your half is SMART enough to understand the value of your family and be able to work through difficulties for the sake of some higher goal, as is done in in absolutely all areas of life: at work, at school, with other relatives, with friends, etc. For example, I’ve been thinking about this new situation for myself for several months now, and I came to the conclusion that it’s just nonsense and weakness to leave your family like this MANY YEARS later, and it’s nonsense that people change, become different, etc. This may come up in a year or two, but in ten years). Because what unites people into long-term couples in most cases is something fundamental, their qualities and views that practically do not change in life, their mindset and character, if you like. Therefore, we can combine this thought into one: an intelligent and strong person understands the value of you, your family, and even if he cools off on his part (and this happens from time to time, probably for everyone, regardless of gender and length of family life) he will try to do everything to work it out, together or independently, or whatever. And here there is no need to divide into “men and women”; a decent and intelligent person remains such in any situation and regardless of his gender)) 4. Being distracted by something is absolutely useless advice. It just annoyed me, it’s like when your apartment is collapsing under your feet, and they tell you: “Look how wonderful the sun is shining. And you also have a job, throw yourself into it.” Nonsense. Sit and think about the problem, think about it like homework, don’t think about “what did he want to say, but he probably thinks like this, and he probably…” Think about what he DID do in the last month or year or two, as he led yourself, what you did, read this site, other people’s stories, interview your friends, if you like, ramble to the bitter end, most importantly, don’t make yourself so depressed, if you feel like it’s getting worse, then tell yourself: “He’s not thinking I won’t talk about that either” and try to switch. In any case, you need to try everything you can to calm down. 5. Listen to your loved ones, how they see you in this situation. Now imagine that this happened to your closest and beloved friend/sister/friend/child (adult). And what do you think of this situation from the outside? Have you really behaved so badly and unbearably that you offended a poor unfortunate adult man, and he, having packed his things, decided to get a divorce? All people make mistakes, but not all couples break up. There are people who are ready to work on conflicts or routines or whatever might be at play in your case. Think about it. Why are you worse than those whose husbands are willing to work on their relationship? Or maybe it's just your husband? PS Well, not only in yours, we are all like that here

Halo, age: 25 / 30.11.2020

Marina, how are you doing? I'm going through a very similar situation. Only my husband hasn’t left yet. This caught us during the renovation and he said, “Let’s finish the renovation, and then we’ll decide.” And in the end, it seems like you want to rip off the band-aid, but it’s so scary (Share, how is it, what should you prepare for? PS I’ve been married for 10 years and until this moment I was happy every day.

Anastasia, age: 32 / 12/14/2020

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How to behave as a wife

If your husband says that he no longer loves you, you need to bring him to a confidential conversation. The first reaction to this may be anger, hysteria, shock, however, you need to keep your emotions under control and sit down at the negotiating table. Perhaps the spouse will be able to name a specific reason why his feelings faded away - thanks to this, you can determine what to do next.

If a lover has lost interest in his wife because of a new passion, there is no need to try to organize competitions with the homewrecker, because if a person betrayed once, he can do it again.

Some women begin to surround their partner with excessive care, change their appearance, and try to retain their partner with culinary delights. Such behavior causes a backlash and even greater rejection in men. Remember that you are an individual. Engage in self-education, development, go to meetings with friends more often. Make it clear that even after the divorce you will continue to live an interesting and rich life. It is possible that the faithful will look at you with different eyes.

What to change in family life

Having found out why your husband has lost interest in you, you need to carefully consider your line of behavior:

Forget about everyday life. A man wants to see a loving woman next to him. Stop running around the house with a rag and finally have a romantic date.
Be interested in your spouse's life. Do you know what your husband is interested in, does he have a hobby? Spend more time with your significant other, be interested in his life and problems, support him.
Engage in self-development. Remember what you were like when you first met and compare with yourself today. It often happens that one partner continues his development, while the other, on the contrary, remains at the same level or even deteriorates.

Household reasons

In our culture, it is very easy and convenient for husbands to “hang” the entire life of the family on their wives. Especially if there is a family with children. To do this, the husband doesn’t even have to be a stern patriarchal tyrant (although such characters can be found in the twenty-first century): it’s enough for him to show his arms out of his shoulders and naively bat his eyes: they say, he’s not trained to clean or cook, and I’m not good with children either. it doesn’t work out - come on, wife, try, you’re strong, you can handle it!

And a huge number of women, even working and earning women, take on all household chores - simply because these things will not be done otherwise! Well, and men... And men are so comfortable - and why would they leave a free cook and housekeeper?

Will the children be saved?

Some women, seeing that their husband has grown cold, decide that the birth of a child will change the situation. Why this is not recommended:

if the husband said that he no longer loves and decided to leave, he will do it, the children have not yet kept a single man;
the baby must be desired and planned;
according to statistics, many families break up precisely after the birth of a child, so such tactics can only speed up the process;
a woman can project resentment towards her husband onto her child.

Even if the faithful decides to stay out of a sense of duty, the family will not be happy. The fire of love will not flare up with renewed vigor, and the growing child will feel that there is tension in the relationship between the parents.

If there are already children, women often begin to make their partner feel guilty or threaten that they will not allow them to see the child. Such behavior will not make a man respect and love his wife, and the child becomes a bargaining chip in the parents’ relationship.

It is better, for the sake of the children, to maintain friendly relations with your ex-husband, who will remain a loving father, than to try to preserve the family and make the children unwitting witnesses to regular scandals.

He LOVED YOUR EX and not me - Fact

While communicating with girls who met on a dating site and quickly entered into a relationship with an unfamiliar man, I noticed a recurring nuance.

After some time, it often turns out that the guy’s relationship just recently ended. And he still has feelings for his previous girlfriend. And I came to the site precisely in order to “heal the wound from parting.” At the same time, the new woman can be sure that the man is with her with all his heart.

But, no, he’s just licking his wounds, distracted, so to speak.

The situation is extremely unpleasant and is fraught with the possibility that if the ex suddenly decides to rehabilitate the relationship. Then he, without hesitation, leaves the new girl for the old one.

Ah, you have already fallen in love. We have already set up plans. And, in their thoughts, they created a family and had children with this man.

He returns to his ex, and you are left with a broken heart and bitter thoughts: “He never loved me. He loved his ex, not me." It’s true, he never loved you.

That is why I always urge women and girls - look at him for at least six months! Take your time to make plans and dream about your wedding! It is likely that the man’s head and heart are still with his ex. Therefore, you can meet, communicate, and slowly find out from him what’s on his mind.

Take your time with plans and conclusions

Our wonderful psychologist M. Litvak has the concept of “production stage of relationships.” According to this concept, the strongest relationships are possible when you have gone through the production stage together.

In other words, we worked together and studied together. It is in this case that you observe a person for a long time, what kind of character he has. Was he in a relationship? And, if so, what happened to his relationship with his ex?

In modern conditions, when the vast majority of people meet not necessarily through the production stage, but through dating sites, it is very important NOT TO HURRY TO CONCLUSIONS! So that there would be no bitter disappointments later “He just didn’t love me. He loves someone else, not me.”

If he never loved you and still loves someone else, and not you, we can only accept this reality and experience it as a loss.

Yes, it's a loss. This is the destruction of illusion, and it hurts. But the faster you realize the truth for yourself - that he loves his ex, and not you, the faster your healing will occur.

Why? Because while we are in illusion and hope, we remain the head in these relationships. Even if you physically left them.

But, as soon as we have accepted the bitter, painful truth for ourselves, from that moment we are able to psychologically get out of these relationships that we don’t need. And we can let the person go. We can forget this man forever.

Do not do this under any circumstances! Mistakes of wives

It is difficult to contain your emotions and think through further actions when your husband says that he has fallen out of love. Most women make typical mistakes that negatively affect the situation. What you should not do under any circumstances:

Start a relationship with another man. Wanting to make her husband jealous, a wife may end up in the bed of another man. But this will only speed up the separation, because he has a good reason for leaving.
To evoke pity. There is no need to invent non-existent illnesses, quit your job, or talk about your failure. This will only cause aggression and irritation in your loved one.
Manipulate children. Many men love their children, but by trying to play on paternal feelings, a representative of the fairer sex will not achieve what she wants. On the contrary, the husband may want to take the child for himself.

Getting over a breakup is difficult, but maintaining a friendly relationship with your spouse is even more difficult. Whatever you decide - to let go of your loved one or fight for your family, it won’t hurt to seek help from a psychologist. Invite your spouse to make an appointment together with a family analyst. It is likely that working together in a specialist’s office will revive former love.