How to gain a girl's trust so that she is ready to date

Trust on the first date
How to gain confidence in a girl for a serious relationship?
How to inspire confidence in a girl?
How to quickly gain trust?
Bottom line

When a girl attracts you, you want to possess her. However, it is not so easy to get what you want. At every step the guy is forced to beg, persuade, and arouse interest. And all this in order to have sex. Of course, if a guy’s interest is only sexual, then he won’t spend a long time on a girl. However, in any case, you need to inspire trust. Only a girl's trust in a guy will encourage her to have sex and agree to any other proposals.

The men's site masculino.ru talks about the importance of instilling confidence in a girl. Only a guy who is trustworthy gets sex. The girl agrees to give herself up only after she begins to feel attracted to the guy. How to evoke the right sensations in a girl to have sex, not get rejected by her, and even start a serious relationship?

Trust on the first date

Trust can only be earned over time. However, its initial beginnings will already appear on the first date if the guy does everything right. How to earn trust on a first date?

Speak confidently and calmly, without bragging. Only an insecure person needs to brag in order to embellish, “blur” his eyes, and evoke a false positive attitude towards himself. A calm and confident person automatically inspires trust.
Look straight into the eyes. If a person is deceiving, he usually hides his eyes. If a guy looks into a girl’s eyes, then she understands that they are communicating with her sincerely.
Discuss topics that are sincere. These topics are “Memories of childhood”, “Tragic stories that touch the soul”, “Unhappy love for which the guy does not blame anyone”, “Dreams and desires associated with love”. Talk about children (or about yourself as a child), about feelings and a wonderful future - this will melt the ice in the girl’s heart.
Try to be natural. No need to wear a mask. The girl will begin to trust if your words do not differ from your behavior.

Distrust is doubt about the reliability of information about another person. People don’t trust and make a problem out of it: “I don’t trust you. Make me trust you." In fact, if you don't trust, then you need to find out the truth about the other person. Don't suffer because you don't trust, but get busy finding out the truth about your partner.

Mistrust arises every time a certain truth is revealed and a person’s expectations are not met. You could have been deceived - and you stop trusting. You expected one thing and got something else - now you don't trust. In fact, trust is very easily lost and restored more difficult.

If you doubt another person, then you will have to personally work to find out the whole truth. There is no need to cast aside doubts, you need to debunk them. You may be right that some people can't be trusted. Don't trust, but verify.

What is trust? This is when you believe everything another person tells you. You agree that your partner's actions and words are honest. Moreover, you do not check them, but unconditionally believe that this is so. This is why trust is easily lost: the information you were given may turn out to be false. If you find out that you have been lied to, you will be disappointed. At the same time, trust is lost - the desire to believe a person without checks and evidence.

Be honest about your intentions

Seducers have long proven the fact that honestly declaring your intentions is much more effective than lying, playing around, beating around the bush and pretending.

Girls have come up with a cunning tactic: when a guy takes some step in getting closer, they can make such a facial expression (just look at him/make him justify himself) that the insecure guy immediately begins to feel guilty about himself. And he stops getting closer. Or he may begin to make excuses for his action, and in response to the phrase: “You all only think about one thing,” begin to prove the opposite.

But practice has shown that this path leads to nothing, and this way you won’t be able to win the girl’s trust.

But if you are not afraid of her reaction, say: “Yes, I like you,” and continue to act confidently and positively, then your honesty will make her trust you more.

Be clear about what you want from her and when you are going to get it.

How to gain confidence in a girl for a serious relationship?

If a guy intends to date a girl constantly and build a serious relationship with her, then he must remember that he must not only inspire trust in himself, but also constantly maintain it. It is quite easy to lose trust in yourself, but it will be almost impossible to regain it.

How to inspire confidence in a girl with whom you intend to have a serious relationship. The only thing a girl cares about is your ability to keep your word. It is precisely this inability that modern men often sin.

Some people characterize the inability to keep their word as follows: “I am the master of my word. As he said, he took his word back.” And you can’t argue here: no one will punish you for not wanting to keep your word (and it’s worth noting that it’s precisely those people who think this way who practice not keeping their promises). But is it then worth asking yourself why they don’t trust you? After all, if you give and take back your word so easily, then there is no need to listen to you at all.

If you want, you can find an excuse for any of your actions. But will this justification help if, because of your action, you failed or prevented another person from achieving his success, and if you had initially told the truth that you were not going to fulfill your promise, then the person would have looked for other ways to realize his idea ? Often in this case, people lose contact with good, promising, successful people. And who is to blame for this? The very people who think that their excuses will help them, without even realizing that their words will not help those who relied on them to make up for the loss of time and opportunity.

So if you're not going to keep your word, then don't promise anything. Refuse immediately so that the person does not waste time and resolve their issues without your help. In this case, you will at least have a chance to maintain relationships with people, because they will know that you will refuse and will not let them down. But distrust appears only towards those people who give their word and then do not keep it, finding various excuses, because they do not want to look bad and traitors.

How can you lose trust? Promise something to another person and then fail to keep your word. There are many stories about how people made promises to each other, and then easily broke their words. There is a desire not to promise anything to anyone anymore. And it’s better not to do this if you understand that you won’t keep your word. However, sometimes situations arise when you need to reassure someone of something. How can you promise and then keep your word?

Breaking your word is easy; all you have to do is continue doing what you usually do. Why? Because what is promised is exactly what a person does not do in everyday life. Therefore, he offers something new for himself. And here you need to be careful not to deceive other people and not to put yourself in an awkward position.

First, don't promise something you won't deliver. If you understand at this point in time that you will not be able to do what is required of you, then it is better to honestly tell your interlocutor about it. It’s better to refuse than to break your word and be called a weakling and a deceiver.
Secondly, if you decide to promise something to another person, then do it not because you are asked for something, but because you yourself want to behave differently. There is no need to do favors for other people. Instead, do yourself a favor: promise only what you yourself have decided to change about yourself, because your own desire will help you cope with the difficulties that you will face when developing a new habit.

When you promise, keep your word. But at the same time, you can make a reservation so that your opponent does not expect instant results. You will not become a “different person” today or tomorrow, but will gradually move towards your intended goal. Therefore, in addition, ask your interlocutor for help: let him help you develop a new model of behavior that is beneficial to both him and you. At the same time, say that you will try and will not achieve success right away.

However, you can try to change everything in one day: just start behaving the way you intend to do it. Forget about how you behaved before. Start from today to behave in a new way, as if you have always done it this way.

Try to make joint decisions

"Show her that you can be relied upon and that you value her opinion," says Laura Lachis, PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at Redeemer University College in Canada. For example, when you invite her (a girl, not an assistant professor) somewhere in the evening, choose her favorite place, and not the bowling alley where you usually hang out with friends. “Make sure you show up on time,” recommends Joel Block, Ph.D., a certified psychotherapist and specialist in couples therapy. “This will make it clear that you can be considered caring and reliable.”

How to inspire confidence in a girl?

Guys often find that girls don't trust them. This is quite natural if girls have previously encountered situations where they were deceived and used. To instill trust in yourself, you need to show understanding of the girl’s difficulties. If she talks about being used or betrayed, then be ok with her disbelief.

To instill even more trust in yourself:

Do not rush the girl in anything: neither in making serious decisions, nor in entering into an intimate act, nor in other situations. Offer it to the girl, but say that you do not insist; when the girl is ready, then let her tell you about it. And be okay with the fact that she doesn’t immediately agree to your proposals.
Be honest. If you promise something, then only what you are ready to fulfill. If you don't agree with something, then say it directly. Always be honest, even in small things.
Be open. Talk directly about everything that concerns your relationship with the girl, your future together, etc. Don’t hide from the girl where you go and who you communicate with.

Of course, the most important thing is to keep your word. If you promise, then keep and fulfill your word. Over time, the girl will understand that she is dealing with a serious guy.

Less mystery

Psychologist and relationship consultant, PhD Michelle Callahan advises inviting a girl to meetings with friends or colleagues. Even if you have purely platonic friendships with other women, your friend may worry about them. But a joint meeting will help get rid of her unreasonable jealousy: she will see that Zinochka from your work is much less like Marilyn Monroe than on the phone. When meeting with friends, try to just be yourself, or at least the same as you are alone with her. Otherwise she will suspect you of duplicity.

The stage of developing trusting feelings

The process of transformation from an ordinary acquaintance to the status of a friend or life partner is a very long one. A person, at the first acquaintance, cannot allow himself to experience a trusting relationship with someone else’s personality.

Firstly, it is a protective mechanism, and secondly, it is a neat way of interacting with the environment and any novelty. What is the difference between a close person and a simple acquaintance? How does psychology work?

People's relationships are connected not only by emotions, but also by trust! Add love, devotion or affection - you get a full-fledged union. In order for an atmosphere of trust to appear, a person needs to pass small tests and “prove” his right to deep, emotional contact.

A person looks closely, listens, asks questions and gets acquainted with the list of values. After this, the words are tested for strength through action. And only then does real sympathy arise, and it develops into strong relationships that occupy a special place in life. But what to do when the necessary trust was not there or was violated?

Open world

Some people have a hard time showing trust. They put each new acquaintance through a series of tests and checks in order to finally remove their protective armor and show their true colors. If someone gives an objective reason to doubt their reliability, such people will instantly lose what remains of trust, and it will be very difficult to restore it. This can lead to coldness, superficial communication or a complete break in the relationship.

Sometimes such people are lucky and on the other end of this situation there is a person who is sincerely interested in maintaining contact. This enthusiast can make an effort to figure out what exactly happened, how it affected both parties to the situation, and what can be done to mend the broken trust and move on. It takes courage—and trust in return.

But it is important to understand: in addition to people who are always on guard, there are also open-minded people who are not afraid to show their vulnerability and are ready to rely on the good that they see in others. It seems that the behavior of people in a situation of building relationships or repairing them reflects, in some sense, their attitude towards life

And then it’s not just a matter of a specific reaction to a conflict or a new acquaintance. Living from a position of trust does not at all guarantee that nothing bad or painful will ever happen to us. And yet, some people deliberately choose to look at everything that happens from this bell tower. This naturally implies a willingness to take risks and get burned from time to time.

It seems that the behavior of people in a situation of building relationships or repairing them reflects in some sense their attitude towards life. And then it’s not just a matter of a specific reaction to a conflict or a new acquaintance. Living from a position of trust does not at all guarantee that nothing bad or painful will ever happen to us. And yet, some people deliberately choose to look at everything that happens from this bell tower. This naturally means being willing to take risks and get burned from time to time.

But if you listen to yourself right now, what will you choose: to sometimes experience the pain of separation or to live your life in constant fear and suspicion that makes you withdraw from communication or double-check everything and everyone around you in an attempt to protect yourself?

Conscious choice

If you want to change your view of relationships and begin to restore your trust resource, you need to start with yourself. What helps us face life with an open heart, despite the pain and challenges of fate? Understanding and accepting ourselves, knowing our strengths and weaknesses, and being present in our experiences, no matter how difficult or dangerous they may seem.

We are talking, of course, about trust in yourself. Restoring it can be much more difficult than with other people. Where to start?

1. Question your thoughts every time you notice the tendency to evaluate yourself and others in opposing categories: good/bad, right/wrong, kind/evil, and so on. There are many more shades of gray in the world, which is why it is so interesting.

2. Take an inventory of your shortcomings - everything that seems to you unpleasant, dangerous, unworthy of love. Find the courage to write it all down on paper and pay more attention to the manifestation of these traits in real life. But not in order to criticize yourself for it, but in order to learn to perceive it as a natural part of your own life - that is, to treat the dark sides of yourself with acceptance.

Practice regulating your attention and occupying your mind with something useful. This skill will be very useful to you in order to pull yourself out of the swamp of false assumptions about other people's behavior.

The next time you, say, suspect cheating because of a missed call, devote at least a few minutes to meditation, mindful walking, or at least concentrating on solving a logic puzzle. This will certainly help you switch from panic mode to a healthy consideration of the broader context and field of available possibilities.

4. Learn to withstand strong, violent emotions and experiences, such as anger, rejection, intimacy, love. Most of us learn from childhood to be afraid of our emotions, but today there are many techniques for restoring contact with our experiences and expressing them in a socially acceptable form. Remember that you are able to withstand your own feelings and sensations, no matter what happens to you. And if you are able to accept any of your worries and experiences, then no one else can harm you with their behavior and there is no reason to meet people with distrust.

5. Let go of past mistakes and disappointments. Resist the habit of generalizing people's behavior and drawing conclusions based on your past experiences. Each person is unique, and your fear of reliving the pain caused by someone once is blocking your path to a new, much healthier and more trusting relationship right now.