Who is a misogynist: why does he not like women and how to protect himself, misogyny test

Many complexes of a man appear in childhood from an accidental or deliberate negative act, but misogyny is not only a consequence of cruelty on the part of the mother, or a strict teacher, the root of this psychological disorder goes back to past centuries. Psychologists have discovered that misogyny is hatred of a woman, expressed in disgust, deliberate neglect and derogatory attitude towards her.

It is possible to live with such a deviation, but it is unlikely that it will be possible to fully adapt to society, as well as create healthy family relationships. After all, a woman is not only a roommate with a number of household responsibilities, but an equal partner. If a man does not think so, moreover, demonstrates his disdain, he will not be able to become a full-fledged member of society without the help of a psychologist.

Misogyny – what is it?

Misogyny comes from fear.
Marcus Tullius Cicero

• 1.Why do men become misogynists?
• 2.Types of misogyny
• 3. Signs of misogyny 3.1. Misogyny in women

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Misogyny – what is it?

This word is of ancient Greek origin. Misogyny literally translates as “disgust towards women.” A person suffering from this condition hates the entire female gender. Initial searches for the causes of the problem led to the conclusion that it was a consequence of the Oedipus complex. It is formed in early childhood in boys as a response to the threat of castration from the mother.

These findings began to be used in psychoanalysis. Later they came to the conclusion that a hostile attitude towards the weaker sex is revenge for the insults caused. If women show signs of negativity towards men, then this is misandry. They can hate both sexes equally. Misogyny and misandry are conditions of the same plane, which are corrected by similar methods. If women hate members of their own sex, this is internalized misogyny.

How to deal with such people

If a woman in her close circle recognizes a misogynist, then she should behave:

1. Show empathy. Most likely, this person had serious psychological trauma. He will never be able to fully enjoy love and communication with women.
2. Communicate kindly and politely, do not get into arguments. You shouldn’t stubbornly prove your point of view to such a man. It is much better to remain neutral and try to avoid sharp corners.
3. Keep some distance. If a work colleague or close relative shows misogyny, then it is better to limit communication with him and maintain psychological distance.
4. Don't commit yourself to a relationship with a woman hater. It is very difficult to build a relationship with a man who dislikes the female sex. It is almost impossible to please him, and trying to re-educate someone is a thankless task and almost always a failure.

Misogyny - reasons

Scientists believe that the prerequisites for the occurrence of a hated condition may appear during intrauterine development. Under the influence of hormones, tendencies towards hostile behavior are likely to develop. The following factors aggravate and intensify the pathology:

• poor connection with the mother on a sensory-emotional level;
• cruel treatment of a child by female relatives;
• upbringing in conditions of permissiveness and spoiling;
• copying the father's behavior (internal misogyny in girls);
• imitation of one's idol;
• bullying and ridicule from peers;
• unrequited love or breakup with a girl;
• fiasco in sexual relationships;
• the cult of patriarchy that has developed in society;
• stereotypes about gender inequality.

Types of misogyny

Various types of misogyny can be observed from almost all people in the Russian Federation, even from women themselves. This phenomenon is too ingrained in society.

Misogyny can be expressed in different ways.

Have you ever encountered examples of misogyny in your life? Do you use misogynistic phrases, expressions, jokes? Share your experience in the comments.

Additionally, we invite you to watch a video about misogyny between a mother and her daughter.

Misogyny in women

Some women are ashamed of their gender status. By treating their friends derogatorily, they consider themselves endowed with masculine qualities. Female misogyny has additional causes:

1. Feelings of envy towards a friend because of a more successful choice of partner.
2. The same emotion in terms of someone else's higher level of well-being.
3. Ugliness. The existing “ugly girl” complex can cause hostility towards “beauties”.
4. Distortions of cognitive perception of reality. For example, statements like “only a woman can park a car like that.”
5. False competition because of the “prince on a white horse.” There is a prejudice in the mind that there are not enough worthy suitors for everyone, so you need to suppress your girlfriends.

Misogyny in women - signs

In most cases, the hated state is in a latent form. It is a rare woman who will dare to openly show her hostility towards representatives of her sex. In women, signs of internal misogyny can manifest themselves in different ways:

1. Typical verbal cliches are inherent. For example, “we women don’t understand anything about technology.”
2. They evaluate the actions of other women with a “male gaze.”
3. With or without reason, the surrounding representatives of the fairer sex are criticized and humiliated.
4. Has no girlfriends.
5. When choosing between a woman and a man, preference is always given to the latter (for example, when appointed to a position).

Causes

The causes of misogyny have several directions, and the first, most decisive one is the traditions of upbringing, which convey patriarchy to a greater or lesser extent. The stereotypical behavior of elders does not give either girls or boys the choice to develop their own attitude to reality, but approximately the same thing is transmitted in every family of the same society - which is why such behavior is internalized and perceived as the only correct one.

The echoes of the war, when there were few men left, and it was difficult to survive without them, give the position that a woman should take care of work, life and family, while not contradicting and pleasing the man in every possible way, because otherwise he will go where it is better, and she won’t find another. A few centuries ago, people survived only in communities, because it was easier and, again, all household responsibilities were transferred to women. Men could afford relaxation, hobbies or scientific activities, while women did not have enough strength for this. The Church and various religious movements actively supported this state of affairs, leaving only the reproductive function to the woman, from which she could not get out (oral contraceptives, and therefore the ability for a woman to regulate pregnancy, have been around for less than a century).

Another aspect of upbringing is abuse by a woman. If a child is raised to be schizoid, emotionally unavailable, or she used frequent punishment, then in the end everything feminine is perceived as negative. The psyche does not have the opportunity to separate the maternal image and the image of everything feminine, especially in the early stages or without the help of a psychotherapist, and as a result, the psychological defense of objectification is activated and then there is a complete exclusion of the possible source of suffering. This can only be done by reducing its significance (when intellectual abilities decrease), demand (it speaks of the uselessness of women) and involvement (separation of oneself at the level of appearance and activity).

The role of a man and father is the main one and it is he who is afraid to be disturbed. So from childhood it is learned that a man’s sleep is sacred, but a woman must get up before everyone else in order to have time to make breakfast and get herself in order; she can be woken up in the middle of the night by loud steps or even come after midnight, leaving out the feminine need for rest and tomorrow’s responsibilities since morning. There was always money for bearings for the car, but buying new boots was considered a waste. These are all examples of how small family situations in a child’s psyche develop into a belief in female unimportance. As a result, no matter what arguments and data a woman uses, her invention can be ridiculed only because of her gender. This is what mothers themselves teach and this is the attitude given by the men around them when they laugh and don’t even want to start taking a motorcycle driving test based on gender.

Women themselves, observing that the attitude towards men is better and the world is patriarchal, on a psychological level begin to move away from the feminine and try to classify themselves as masculine. This includes a refusal to wear jewelry, constantly wearing jeans, the ability to disassemble an engine, and a complete lack of understanding of cosmetic trends. Yes, this brings men closer to understanding, but does not allow them to develop side by side and understand the differences, care for and recognize the female world. The woman herself becomes a stranger among everyone. Another reason is the presence of one’s own trauma when communicating with some woman, and then they are all classified as bad, insidious or bitches. Frequent statements that women are bitchy, and that the female team is the worst, come precisely from misogynists who received a professional injury while interacting with one employee and were unable to process her.

Misogyny in men

It is believed that, to one degree or another, hatred of women is inherent in all representatives of the stronger half of humanity. A simple example shows what misogyny is in men in everyday life. Almost any individual can allow his circle of friends to express contempt for the fair sex (however, like women, they are sometimes inclined to discuss their gentlemen). The stable condition in men manifests itself in two forms:

1. Active . A person openly shows a negative attitude towards the opposite sex through statements and behavior. He propagates his views among representatives of the stronger half of humanity.
2. Hidden . The man wears a ladies' man mask. The reasons for this behavior may be fear, a sense of revenge or deceit. He tries in every possible way to please women at the first meetings. With closer and longer acquaintance, misogyny manifests itself in full, which leads to a break in the relationship.

Misogyny in men - signs

The mental state of hatred is closely related to egoism. What is misogyny in men can be recognized by the following signs:

1. The behavior reveals hidden and overt manners that insult and humiliate women.
2. There is a habit of expressing ourselves in sayings and phrases relating to female dignity.
3. There is an attitude in his mind: in all cases, the woman is solely to blame.
4. The misogynist is deeply convinced that the weaker sex is created to satisfy the whims of the stronger half.
5. In his opinion, he must humiliate himself in order to help a woman.
6. In intimate relationships, he cares only about his own satisfaction.
7. Patients with misogyny tend to deify a man, considering him the “crown of creation.”
8. The negative attitude extends to representatives of the entire weaker sex.
9. There is all sorts of belittling and ignoring of the successes and achievements of women.

Causes and signs of misogyny

Despite the attitude that every person is an individual, and his gender does not affect either personal or professional qualities, there are prejudices and stereotypes in society that directly or indirectly make a woman a second-class citizen.

The causes of misogyny are, in some cases, social stereotypes; they contribute to the hierarchical division of people by gender, where women are inferior to men.

The development of misogyny is partly facilitated by the delimitation of age groups. A woman is considered active and young until the end of her reproductive age, while a man is considered a “groom” until old age.

There is an opinion that determination and the ability to think logically are the prerogative of men by birthright. Many people tend to think that a male leader is less emotional and prone to making more informed decisions than his female counterpart.

According to surveys, the majority of citizens of developed countries do not want to see a woman as the head of their state. We associate most professions that require composure, courage and strength with men. Everyone knows the jokes about women driving or “dumb blondes.” These are all signs that contribute to the manifestation of misogyny.

Misogyny in men

Let's figure out what misogyny in men is? Natural attraction to representatives of the opposite sex is inherent in us by nature, and no one questions it. If a man feels hostility, contempt or hatred towards the female sex, then psychologists regard this as a manifestation of misogyny.

Misogynist men for the most part do not see a problem with their views and behavior. And for the people around you, it’s also not easy to determine that the man next to you is a misogynist.

Describing the psychological portrait of a misogynist, it should be noted that they are most often distinguished by an impulsive, hot-tempered character; in relation to women they show insolence and self-centeredness. Dislike, discrimination and hostility towards the fairer sex in men can be a formed complex based on a feeling of revenge for the suffering caused.

In recent years, the hypothesis has been developed that the foundations of misogyny are formed in early childhood or even in extrauterine development. According to the hypothesis, due to the influence of congenital pathologies, homosexual, sadistic or masochistic tendencies are formed, and men develop disgust and hatred towards women.

Factors that enhance the development of pathology include:

• weak emotional connection with mother;
• cruelty towards a child from female relatives (mothers, grandmothers, sisters);
• pampering and permissiveness or, conversely, excessive severity towards the child;
• ridicule, bullying (bullying) from girls of the same age;
• unhappy love;
• failures in sex;
• stereotypes about gender inequality;
• a social model of patriarchy elevated to a cult.

Let's look at how misogyny manifests itself in men; its signs can be obvious and hidden. An overt or active misogynist openly demonstrates negative attitudes, hostility and disgust towards the female sex. An active misogynist tries to propagandize and impose his point of view on others.

A hidden misogynist, on the contrary, when meeting someone, gives the impression of a kind of ladies' man, hiding his fears and complexes under a mask. The insidiousness of the hidden misogynist is that he will fully open up and show his essence as a misogynist just when they begin to trust him.

There are some behavioral features that may signal that this is a misogonist man:

• frequent use of unflattering cliched phrases and sayings about female dignity;
• the habit of blaming a woman for all troubles;
• behavior that degrades and insults women;
• the conviction that a woman’s destiny is only to satisfy his needs;
• focus on one's own satisfaction in sexual relationships;
• ignoring and verbally devaluing any woman’s successes.

The hostility of a mesogonistic man is directed at all representatives of the fairer sex, and not at any specific woman.

Misogyny and sexism are often evident in the patterns of modern society. Misogyny can be considered the result of sexism, as a consequence of discrimination against people based on gender.

Internal misogyny in women

Misogyny is a condition that can affect both men and women. According to psychological assessment, misogyny in women is explained as a feeling of non-acceptance by a woman, first of all, of herself. A misogynistic woman does not enjoy her uniqueness, but wants to stand out, “break away” and be the best of her kind. Sometimes, while advocating for equality, some females experience anger, hostility and a sense of shame for other women.

Among the simple everyday reasons for the development of internal misogyny in women are:

• envy of a friend about her personal life or success at work;
• dissatisfaction with one’s appearance and a pathological dislike for “beauties.”

The reason for the development of misogyny in a woman may be the fact that in childhood her mother constantly criticized all women, while praising men.

Female misogyny is called internal. Internalized misogyny is essentially self-discrimination against women. By speaking impartially to other women, representatives of the fair sex thereby count on some proximity to a more privileged (as it seems to them) male society and social approval.

Misogynists hide behind male models of behavior and statements like “I have nothing to talk about with women.” The situation becomes more complicated when a girl prefers to traditionally feminine attributes in appearance (dresses, shoes and cosmetics) external attributes that are not associated with femininity - rough shoes, genderless suits and neglect of hairstyle.

It has been proven that half of misogynistic statements and posts on the Internet are made by women themselves. Here we can quote the German philosopher of the 19th century, Arthur Schopenhauer, who until the end of his days remained a convinced bachelor.

According to Schopenhauer, “there is by nature indifference between men, while between women there is natural hostility.”

Surely you have heard when a woman, talking about another woman, says that “women are stupid” or that all women are “fools”, “hens”, “clowns” or “bitches”. How can you not remember the cliche - “there is no such thing as female friendship”, and then about your traitorous girlfriends who only dream of getting your man. By the way, many women really don’t have girlfriends.

Female misogyny towards men has another name - misandry. Misogyny and misandry are considered one-dimensional human conditions. Misandry is a negative or hateful attitude towards men on the part of a woman. Women who hate men rarely agree that their condition needs to be corrected, although misandry interferes with normal life and often brings mental suffering.

Misogyny - examples

A clear expression of a negative attitude towards women is the typical images and stereotypes of behavior that abound in modern society.

1. Misogyny and sexism are manifested in the male image of a rich but aging “daddy” who marries a girl much younger than him. Here the wife's role is that of a prestigious, beautiful appendage to a wealthy man.
2. On the contrary, the young gigolo and polygamist despises the one who supports him. At the right moment, he abandons the next victim of deception.
3. The Taskmaster Syndrome. The desire to rise above other women in the eyes of men, to take them under one’s “guardianship” is the driving motive for the behavior of such ladies.
4. Stereotype of a strong independent woman. In this case, misogyny is the opposition of the feminine essence intended by nature itself. A woman's true strength lies in her apparent weakness.

Why do men become misogynists?

Almost all complexes are born in early childhood, due to strong emotions.
The child will not remember ordinary cases of insults or falls, but the constant bullying or neglect of the mother, the derogatory phrase of a classmate during adolescence, with further ridicule of peers, will be remembered forever. Perhaps the mother will consider herself simply strict, and the young girl will forget about her behavior, but the future man will note that women are the root of evil, which causes discomfort in him.

Also, misogyny can be caused by upbringing, especially with an Islamic bias. After all, women in Muslim culture are creatures with a minimum set of rights, as well as the assigned role of mother and keeper of the hearth and nothing more. If a woman, especially someone she doesn’t know, goes beyond the norms instilled in a man, moreover, in some way surpasses the stronger sex, her behavior causes active protest and hatred.

Can cause misogyny and psychological factors already in adulthood.

So, in particular, misogyny can develop due to:

• betrayal of a beloved girl followed by a difficult breakup, especially if the reasons were self-interest or betrayal;
• unsuccessful first sexual contact;
• strict boss with high demands;
• a God complex conditioned by education and impunity;
• lack of self-realization, especially when surrounded by successful women.

To a certain extent, misogyny acts as a protective reaction of a man against unfavorable environmental factors. But this psychological deviation can lead to neurosis or depression, and also create certain difficulties in everyday life.

What are the dangers of misogyny?

The main danger is that the person with the problem is confident in the correctness of his behavior. Where misogyny leads can be traced through the example of family relationships. In the conditions of tyranny that develops in the family of a misogonist, a woman is forced to get used to the image of a victim. The more the sufferer lives in it, the stronger the psychological attachment she becomes to her tormentor. Sometimes you have to gather all your spiritual strength, enlist the support of relatives and call for help from law enforcement agencies in order to get out from under the power of a misogonist.

How to get rid of misogyny?

To cope with this problem, it is recommended to seek help from a specialist who will help you understand the true causes and will monitor the progress and effectiveness of therapy. Treatment is complicated by the fact that a person often considers all his actions to be normal. The process of how to treat misogyny includes certain steps:

1. Awareness of the current situation. The person himself must understand that he has a problem.
2. Seeing a psychologist for a course of psychotherapy. The causes of a hateful attitude may lie in early childhood, so the help of a hypnologist may be needed.
3. Periodic and constant reflection. This is a conscious review of behavior and its correction.
4. Control over speech. This will help you get rid of the patterned thinking that fuels hatred of women.

The threat of misogyny to relationships

Misogyny prevents people from building strong, harmonious, trusting relationships. Often, because of this phenomenon, relationships turn into abuse:

1. A misogynistic man does not consider it necessary to ask for forgiveness and never repents of his actions.
2. The girl stops believing in herself and increasingly tries on the image of a victim.
3. A man strives to control his wife in everything.
4. Doesn't consider her a full-fledged partner in a relationship, puts her in dependent roles.

You need to fight misogyny, change your own behavior and way of thinking.