How to learn to be indifferent to a man

A man and a woman are connected by mutual attraction, common interests, and interest in each other. A woman by nature is called to surround the one she loves with care and attention. Where does a woman’s indifference in a relationship come from and why does a loving, caring, attentive girl become indifferent?

Nothing destroys a relationship more than an indifferent, indifferent attitude towards a partner. It is wrong to think that men are “thick-skinned” creatures and therefore do not suffer from female indifference.

How can a girl become a cold and insensitive bitch?

Usually girls want to acquire the status of a bitch because they were previously burned in a relationship.

Pain that could have been avoided if they had not been so kind and tender-hearted may not go away for years.

To do this, you should adhere to the following settings:

Personal interests and plans should be higher than what a man offers, even if you really want to meet him.
Self-care is a daily ritual that cannot be ruined by any external circumstances. It is worth creating your own style, including hair styling, beautiful makeup and perfectly selected clothes. Under no circumstances should you run to the grocery store or go to bed without removing your makeup. These simple actions will help you feel self-love that does not depend on external circumstances.
Take time for self-development. Read fiction or professional literature daily. This will help you learn to speak beautifully and interestingly.
Stop worrying about a man's feelings or his wallet. If you still feel awkward when you refuse to meet someone on the street, break someone's heart, or are treated to a cup of coffee, it's time to realize that this is the correct alignment of things, because you deserve it simply by the fact of your existence.
Set your conditions at the beginning of relationships with men. Meet only at a time convenient for you, maintain a mystery during dating, do not agree to sex simply out of a feeling of “it seems like it’s time.”

In fact, being a cold-blooded bitch is, first of all, living the way you want, even if it makes the lives of those around you less comfortable.

And every woman deserves this, you just have to really want it and work on your attitude towards yourself.

Watch the video in which a girl tells how to become a bitch:

Insensitivity and coldness guarantee stability in achieving your life goals, but require release, which will prevent the negative impact of pent-up emotions on the body.

Extreme sports, martial arts, and other ways to release energy in a neutral way can help with this.

Signs of a woman's indifference. What are the signs to determine the behavior of a woman in love?

The girl constantly secretly watches the guy who arouses her sympathy, and immediately looks away when her eyes meet his. At the same time, she can cover herself with paint like a schoolgirl, and this gives her away completely.
She is constantly friendly with the young man, laughs at his jokes, responds to requests, willingly makes contact and tries to attract attention to herself.
She prefers to communicate with her friends by talking with the object of her sympathy; in a word, she behaves in a way that was previously unusual for her.
When communicating with a young man who is not indifferent to her, the girl unconsciously shows physical signs - straightening her hair in a gesture that men consider very sexy, gesticulating, showing her wrists, trying to violate personal space, trying to touch the guy’s hand or face. A young man with at least a little understanding of psychology will understand that tactile contact means sympathy.
If a woman has a sincere feeling for a man, when talking to him, she constantly turns her head in his direction, unconsciously repeats his poses - “mirrors”.
If you carefully observe a girl in love, you can easily notice that when talking to the guy she likes, her pupils dilate. This occurs due to the fact that a large amount of adrenaline enters the body.
If a girl does not see a young man to whom she is not indifferent for a long time, she begins to show interest in him, asking mutual friends about what he is currently doing. Pages on social networks are now also under the close attention of the person in love.
Gifts for no reason are a reason to think about the nature of the relationship. Most likely, the girl wants to win the sympathy of the young man and show how important he is to her. If, moreover, the present is made with your own hands, this indicates that the person spent a lot of time making it, hoping to please you.

How to let go and forget a guy

If he still hasn’t warmed up to you, don’t torture yourself: let him go. To do this, just switch to your own affairs - meet with your girlfriends more often, go shopping, play sports, study, read books. Here you will find a selection of the most interesting publications. Try not to blame yourself, repeat to yourself that this is not your person and you are not on the right path. You definitely need to get rid of bad thoughts. In this article we will tell you how to do this through meditation, sports and other activities.

Here is a video with some pretty good advice from a psychotherapist:

If necessary, meet another guy, spend time with him, go out and enjoy your freedom! And finally, remember, you will definitely meet the one who will always love you.

Imagine watching a movie

Try not to attach much importance to the events happening around you. Consider that all these processes are part of the script of some feature film. Imagine that your whole life is a movie. If you can look at the world in this way, you will free yourself from emotions and see the bigger picture of what is happening. At the same time, you can observe the emergence of various emotions in you that push you to take part in this film. However, you will only observe and not manifest them.

What does it mean to be indifferent to yourself

Lifestyle is of no small importance in the formation of an indifferent state. The reason for indifferent behavior can be simple boredom

Sometimes the desire to be inactive is short-term in nature, in which case a person simply needs a little rest. However, if indifference develops into a difficult mental state or protracted depression, then it is necessary to analyze your behavior and eliminate the causes of such manifestations.

There are a lot of possible reasons for indifference, let’s consider some of them:

Experienced stress
Chronic diseases.
Physical fatigue.
Disappointment in professional activities.
Lack of purpose in life.
Dissatisfaction with social and public life.
Alcohol abuse and other bad habits.
Advanced age.
Emotional exhaustion.
Energy imbalance.

There can be many reasons for indifference.
An indifferent state manifests itself as a defensive reaction of the body. A person withdraws from the world around him. Not wanting to feel despair or loneliness, he stops showing emotions.

When the body is unwell, indifference is a symptom of an ongoing illness.
Taking certain medications can also cause a similar effect.
The lack of material wealth gives a person uncertainty about the future, thus causing indifference to current events.
When material values are placed above human values, a person ceases to experience moral satisfaction from such a life.
Lack of purposefulness deprives us of interest in current events. We stop striving and wanting, we live a boring, monotonous life. In this case, it is necessary to arm yourself with a goal. It is this that motivates a person and forces him to take action.
Experiencing strong feelings, a person becomes exhausted and becomes unable to express any emotions. In this case, temporary peace and quiet will have a positive effect on the state of the body.
Any life situation can lead to apathy.
Too active emotional outbursts lead the body to a state of fatigue. Emotions go off scale and the limit comes, the person becomes indifferent for some time.
A person who has lost the meaning of life does not worry about anything. Lack of desire for anything leads to a passive state of motor activity. The person is in no hurry, his energy reserves are at a minimum.
To form desires, it is necessary to show emotions to surrounding events. Indifference leads to a passive state, indifference.

Depression is also common

Depression is the mildest form of indifference. Since in a depressed state a person experiences, at a minimum, negative emotions. In this state, the person suffers due to the unattainability of his desires.

To avoid diving even deeper, be less alone with yourself and your own thoughts. Always try to realize your potential to the maximum. This will give you new strength and energy. By being involved in the lives of others, you will feel that they care about you

This will encourage you to be kind and helpful. Don't neglect the attention shown to you. Understanding and support from loved ones will awaken your human qualities.

Chatting like a stranger

If you want to show your indifference to a specific person, communicate with him as with a stranger. Don't elevate him above others, don't give him more attention than others. You can still talk to him, but when the conversation ends, forget about the person as a stranger. This conversation is especially effective if you are seeing a person who you hate and who hates you. A detached and indifferent conversation in this case is a more powerful weapon than the manifestation of any reactions. The person will expect the usual reactions from you, and will not know what to do when you leave.

Source: www.kakprosto.ru

The person has negative feelings towards you

It's almost impossible to please everyone. That's why each of us has friends who don't like us. But we try to control ourselves and not demonstrate our negative attitude (in the event that our hostility is mutual), and other people do not consider this a reasonable solution. Moreover, they do this on purpose to show you their disdain. They try to insult, humiliate, spoil the mood, etc. But we understand that they do all this out of their weakness and bad manners. An intelligent person will never stoop to show his negative attitude. The most he will do is simply ignore you. Therefore, you should not be offended by those who show their anger in this way.

Signs of indifference

The problem of indifference can affect anyone who finds themselves in a difficult life situation. In modern society, indifference is gradually becoming the norm of behavior, for which almost no one is held accountable. When a person passes by someone else's misfortune indifferently, without showing any interest, without trying to provide all possible help, this often causes misunderstanding among caring people. Such signs of indifference sometimes indicate mental disorders or character traits: passivity, apathy. They appear:

in cynicism;
lack of empathy;
prudence.

Even if a criminal offense is committed in front of such a person, he will convince himself that this is not his business and that these problems should be dealt with exclusively by the police. Lack of civic responsibility among people has a negative impact and deteriorates the quality of life of the entire society.

Imagine watching a movie

Why can a guy lose interest in a girl?

The first six months of a relationship almost always fly by unnoticed and beautifully; he wants to carry you in his arms, talk to you from morning to evening, please and surprise. At the end of the candy-bouquet period, everything can change dramatically: a man often becomes cold in communicating with his soul mate. One of the reasons for this behavior is that the guy stopped loving the girl. Our other article will help you understand this or that. In it you can find the main signs of the disappearance of feelings.

The attitude of a young man (hereinafter referred to as MCH) can change even after he understands that you have a lot of shortcomings. Any little things can irritate him: the fact that you speak quickly, smoke, laugh strangely, bother you with your calls, raise your voice, etc. There may also be complaints about your appearance: according to his ideas, it turns out that you are not at all the slender person you used to be were considered, and your breasts are no longer large, and your hips are too wide, and it’s time to get rid of cellulite...

be rude to him;
not listening or hearing your partner;
act like a man in a skirt;
do not consult him;
do not show how significant it is or go too far with it;
restrict his freedom;
be constantly jealous;
stop paying attention to your appearance.

You should also not forget about the importance of intimate relationships, if you have them. Maybe the guy is bored with the monotony, or he’s tired of waiting, or he’s no longer attracted to you sexually... It’s also likely that the guy could have cooled off if the girl just got too attached to him

Men feel this, and such an attitude can only frighten and bore them. In this case, try to relax and pay more attention to yourself

It is also likely that the guy could cool down if the girl simply became too attached to him. Men feel this, and such an attitude can only frighten and bore them. In this case, try to relax and pay more attention to yourself.

How to become indifferent to a person

Lapel (c) by “NLP Proffi”

Technique for destroying love

Second edition, corrected and expanded

(Why is this relationship valuable to you? How is this person valuable to you?)

At this stage, we collect information about whom the client wants to stop loving, and about the relationship with him - the object of love. Is the client ready for this step, what motivates him, what will freedom from falling in love give him, will he lose anything important (write down as secondary benefits)? Moreover, in “advanced” cases of strong love with unsuccessful attempts to fall out of love on their own, most likely, the client will be motivated negatively; you should not bother him too much. Ask the client what these relationships give (what are valuable) to the client, what is important about them, what is valuable about this person (Second. Write out the benefits!).

Ask the client what can make him stop loving a person? Why doesn't he like people (of the opposite sex)? In advanced cases, you can collect more information about what he really dislikes in people in general. (If the operator is ready, you can even

even talking about hatred, this will help swing the pendulum in the other direction, only after step 6 you will need to swing the “love-hate” pendulum to a neutral position, making a reframing like: “Now you can allow yourself to think of this person as neutral, as you once created his ideal, so you recently hated him - now you don’t really know what he is like, he can be both this and that - he is a living person with his own merits and demerits")

We make a list SP1 of anti-values/negative behavior. We install the I-anchor on the experience of these anti-values.

Holding the I- anchor, we send the client from the present to the past on the time line and ask him to remember at least three events that accurately confirm that the object is the same as what is on the SP1 list. We mark them on the LV. Then the client, moving from the past to the present along the LP, experiences these situations in association. The anchor is held constantly.

Here it is important to “shake up” the situation, since falling in love is an attractor with a powerful attraction, associated living and, as a result, a decrease in value is necessary for the next step.

We ask the client to remember the image of the object. Then we ask him to make the following change in submodalities: make the picture black and white, add movement (i.e. turn it into an analog (smooth) film), move it away from himself (“into the past”), make it clear (and color), expand the focus of attention onto the background surrounding the object, equate the object and the background.

We do this several times, faster each time, and at the end of each change we clear the “screen” (“swing pattern”). Set I+ to the change made.

In principle, this sequence is not the only one; often a simpler one works - make the picture moving, move it to the line of the past, lower the brightness, add detailed clarity - i.e. make it like ordinary “memories” from the past and bring the submodalities of the object (brightness, clarity, contrast) into line with the submodalities of the background (if there is no background, add it).

If it doesn’t help - either they were weakly “swinged” at step 3, or the client has a more individual sequence of submodalities of falling out of love - you can look for a critical one, which is guaranteed to irrevocably “displace” the object and start from there.

As an option, find where the “submodal warehouse of lovers/people you broke up with” is located on the line of the past and drag the object there.

Make a reframing like: “At a distance from this person, it will be easier for you to assess the situation and relationship with him. You can understand the meaning of this time by moving away from this person.”

Here you can develop this theme by saying that “big things are seen from a distance,” a person can allow himself to let go of events and people in order to be able to realize their meaning, significance, etc. Obtain the client's congruent consent.

We create an image of the client’s ideal state in the future (free from falling in love), send him to the future, ask him from the future to give recommendations to his present self on how to achieve this state, return him to the present, he “listens” to his recommendations and “lives” them, going from the present to the future. Possible several times.

Ask the client: “How can you, having freedom/ideal state, realize secondary benefits from point 1.”

While holding I+, we ask the client to tell about planned/probable at least three meetings with the object. It is advisable that the background be neutral, or not at all, so that other anchors do not interfere.

Unlucky day

Sometimes the reason some people get angry is simply a bad day. For example, a person overslept, so he is a little late for work, then spilled a cup of coffee on his new suit, got stuck in an elevator, etc. Can this day be called a good day? Perhaps the second half of the day will be the happiest in recent times, but the “victim” does not know this yet. So it turns out that he begins to “take his anger out” on everyone who comes to his hand. Of course, not all people do this, but only those who cannot control themselves. But we must admit that each of us has moments when our nerves simply give out (especially if the troubles drag on for a long time). Therefore, you should treat rude people condescendingly, since at this stage they have problems, not you.

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How indifference manifests itself in various areas of life

Indifference manifests itself in many ordinary life situations when an indifferent individual:

shows reluctance to help a fallen person get up;
does not give up a seat in transport to a pregnant woman or an old man;
does not try to calm a crying child;
refuses to help grandma cross the road;
does not want to feed a stray dog or cat;
does not intervene when the strong offend the weak;
does not call the police to report the offense.

Despite the fact that there are still many people in society who rush to help others, indifference is gaining more and more space in our world, becoming a global problem and approaching the brink where few people want to take on unnecessary responsibility, considering such behavior to be normal.

Indifference in a relationship can manifest itself in different ways. Indifference is expressed not only in the inability to empathize with someone else’s grief, but also in the inability to rejoice in the achievements, success and victories of one’s neighbor. If you look at such a person from the outside, he looks phlegmatic, sad, calm and indifferent.

Some accuse such individuals of selfishness, sincerely not understanding those passing by and not helping a person who, for example, became ill on the street. Someday they themselves may need help, and as a result, the manifestation of inhumanity and deliberate inaction in an emergency situation can lead to a tragic ending. Indifference is expressed in relation to:

to work;
to a partner;
to children;
to public life;
to the people around.

How to get out of a vicious circle

If you have forgotten how to trust the world around you, and it seems to you that there are only scammers around, try to relearn effective communication. Try to make pleasant acquaintances, help people just like that, especially if you see that they need your participation. Over time, it will become less scary to give, you will feel additional energy, strength that you were previously afraid to show. Gradually, you will notice that there are many people around who are sincerely interested in your affairs, mood and health, and you will find faithful like-minded people.

Thus, the problem of human indifference is hidden in the inability to communicate. In our age of information technology, so many people just sit at home in front of the monitor, and they have nowhere to go, no one to exchange a word with!

Types of indifference

In a relationship

Indifference in marriage is a fairly common occurrence. One of the spouses reproaches the other for indifference. The feelings they once had for each other have been swallowed up by the routine of everyday life. Both partners have come to terms with this and continue to live together only out of habit.

A relationship between partners with mutual indifference and without the desire to change anything is considered hopeless

In this case, it is necessary not to concentrate on yourself, but to talk with your partner. Perhaps it's better for you to break up.

Attitude towards other people

As a rule, a person is very painful when he feels that he is causing his partner boredom and indifference, that he has become completely uninteresting to him. However, over time, feelings dull, the pain goes away and only indifference remains. Indifference to a partner often develops into an attitude towards other people that negatively affects a person’s entire life and his relationships with others.

Indifference of men

Many young people are characterized by a certain form of indifference, which is often confused with maturity. Many people believe that a real man should be “tough” and not show his feelings so as not to seem weak. Therefore, sometimes young people put on a kind of mask of indifference.

At work

Indifference and indifference to work is quite common. A person becomes uninterested in his work, as a result of which he copes worse with his responsibilities and, of course, there can no longer be any talk of climbing the career ladder. In this case, the negative consequences of indifference manifest themselves faster and more acutely than in personal life, because today no employer will put up with an uninterested employee who does not maintain good relations with the team, who constantly makes mistakes.

On politics and the environment

The consequences of human passivity in the political and social sphere are very sad, because in this case, any important issue is decided by other people who have a certain interest. In recent years, the consequences of an indifferent attitude towards the destruction of nature have been increasingly felt.

To the children

The consequences of parents' indifferent attitude towards their children are especially severe. If parents are indifferent to their own children who need their love and attention, then over time the children begin to behave aggressively. It’s even worse if the children resign themselves and become indifferent and apathetic to everything.

Indifference in relationships. Never take steps towards intimacy in response to indifference.

I’ll leave the tamers of the obstinate with their house-building for a while and ask the women.
Women, do you want to know the simple secret to building successful relationships? It is in vain that some people think that there is no such secret, that there are no universal and simple recipes. In some places it doesn’t happen, but here it does. And it has been known since ancient times. The secret couldn’t be simpler: never take steps towards intimacy in response to a man’s indifference or aggression. Women, do you want to know the simple secret to building successful relationships?

It is also good to always encourage any right thing a man does. But the main thing is the first. Never, under any circumstances, break this rule from the very beginning. From the very beginning of a relationship, this is very important, because if you never follow this rule and suddenly start abruptly, the effect may be the opposite. I'll tell you which one later. But if from the very beginning you consistently and clearly build a field of relationships in which it will be possible to receive love and intimacy from you only by giving you the same love and intimacy, and nothing else, in which every step back of your partner will lead to a decrease in your interest, It will be almost impossible to get you into a relationship with an imbalance. There will always be a person with you who values you, and everyone who does not value you will not have access to you. It seems that this rule is not only logical, but also simple. Why take a step towards intimacy with someone who is indifferent or aggressive? Isn't this the healthiest reaction - to pull your hand away from the cold or fire? Isn’t it mutual warmth and mutual pleasure that pushes people closer together? Unfortunately, this is only true for holistic and mature people. Immature people are so fragmented and contradictory from within that they require unimaginable strength to comply with this rule. And in order to understand where to apply it, a round table.

Pierre Janet was the first to write about the internal fragmentation of the psyche and personality. This is a brilliant psychologist who worked before Freud and even before Breuer, the author of the concept of “Interiorization”, on which the entire theory of unconscious processes and almost the entire psychology of the 20th century is built. Pierre Janet is less known than those who made full use of his discoveries, since he stepped far forward and wrote a lot of paradoxical things. In his books, he described various mental phenomena and his “Energy System”, in fact, quite accurately explains many phenomena that are still considered mysteries. Janet studied women somnambulists and hysterics to understand the mechanism of mental automatism. Janet’s main conclusion: a healthy psyche is distinguished by great plasticity and at the same time integrity, the processes in it are coordinated and at the same time have great flexibility, so a person with such a psyche is practically not suggestible.

An unhealthy psyche, “Weak” as Janet called it, is inconsistent, fragmented, each part acts on its own, but in order to maintain at least some constancy, plasticity is impaired, ideas are fixed, many become obsessive. In addition to cases of obvious pathology, when the fragmentation and fixity of the psyche is great, there are also possible cases of normal underdevelopment, which occurs at a young age, and therefore young people are contradictory, suggestible, prone to go to extremes and become infected with affect.

All I am trying to talk about is that with a lack of personality development, a person behaves childishly, but, being deprived of youthful advantages, he suffers more. It also causes suffering to loved ones.

For a person to feel normal, she needs at least a minimum of personal support, which she can feel as her own and independently support. An unformed personality needs a minimum of external resources and supports that to feel its existence and security, a formed personality for a long time can make do only with internal ones. An unformed personality quickly collapses under extreme conditions, is easily influenced, quickly becomes infected with ideas, and immediately surrenders “Itself.”

A formed personality can resist and survive for quite a long time without any external support. Its reserves are limited, but they can last for a very long time, depending on the strength of personality integration and the power of the inner core. But this is a lyrical digression. The point is that if a personality is not fully formed, and even deprived of external supports, it turns into what Janet wrote about: a fragmented, contradictory, disorganized being, incapable of self-control. Only if no one takes control of such a person does she remain in the chaos of feelings, ideas, and emotions. She is sometimes bored, sometimes anxious, sometimes carried away somewhere, she submits to almost any external movement, and it is difficult for her to resist, since her personality is fragmented and no part of it outweighs.

Either the department responsible for the sense of duty is turned on, then the department responsible for pleasure, then the department involved in planning, then the department that protects from stress. Therefore, such a person sometimes doesn’t care about everything, sometimes something worries him very much, sometimes he wants to break away and fly, sometimes, on the contrary, he behaves strictly according to the rules, sometimes he likes to be promiscuous, sometimes such hints are disgusting. It would not be an exaggeration to say that such a person is looking for a “Master”. Of course, she is not constantly searching, this would mean the unity of her goals, but her goals change, but in fact there are no goals at all. But in moments of fatigue from one’s toil, anxiety, the chaotic nature of the world or boredom and monotony, in a word, in moments of realizing one’s inability to cope with managing one’s life, such a person really wants to find someone to whom one could entrust oneself.

After such an extensive digression, it should be clear why a woman, especially a young woman or who has just emerged from a symbiosis (parental or marital) or who simply failed to grow up or is experiencing a personal crisis and internal breakdown, cannot build relationships consistently. A simple recipe is too complicated for her, she wants one thing, then another, and most importantly, she cannot restrain any emotions, and a variety of emotions arise in her. In response to rudeness, a passionate desire for intimacy may arise in order to relieve stress right away, and in response to affection, boredom and an unbearable need to be sarcastic may suddenly begin. Guilt replaces aggression and vice versa.

She literally “cannot control herself”, behaves stupidly and destructively, instead of being reasonable, confident, correct, and thereby attractive to equally reasonable, confident and correct people. No. She is scattered, disheveled, torn in the energetic and emotional sense. It ignites, then cools, fills with energy and is de-energized at the same time. The number of holes in her psychic field is incalculable, and as soon as one closes, a new one appears.

Sometimes this is noticeable externally, but almost always in behavior and speech. That is why reasonable, confident and correct people avoid her. Those who feel her weakness and chaos inside stick to her. She is like a flower that exudes nectar that is too sweet or even too poisonous for people who are looking for healthy relationships and mutual love. But people who have the same chaos inside are drawn to it because they see their own in it or they have a certain core, but a very specific one, more like the trunk of a bumblebee, and they fly to this flower to collect honey. However, this is not honey, and the flying ones are not bumblebees, and the poor thing is not a flower. Therefore, the little vampire’s paws stick, he becomes furious, and tears it off along with the petals.

And sometimes he finds a way to drink nectar without getting stuck, but since it is more likely poison or alcohol, he quickly goes into a drunken frenzy. Or another scenario: a predatory flower slams its petals and begins to eat the brain of such an insect. In general, there are many stories, they are fascinating and all about passionate and painful relationships that beautifully or uglyly destroy both. It’s true that most bitches (albeit not all) are secretly or openly looking for a “Tamer”, so they unleash all their chaos on any man they like, hoping that he will somehow organize it or go to hell. Unfortunately, they are often dragged to hell too. There are two most popular interpretations of the phenomenon of “Bitchiness”, conventionally male and conventionally female. Male: a selfish woman spoiled by her parents, who is easier to abandon than to correct, but if everything is not very bad, such a woman will be cured by love and respect for a man, she will give up her selfishness and become a good wife. Female: bitch - a woman disappointed in men, forced to behave this way for self-defense or out of revenge, is treated with love, tenderness and tact of a loving man. As we can see, the two interpretations offer opposite models of behavior for the bitch's partner. The masculine urges to set conditions harshly and if the conditions are not met, to leave, because “That means he doesn’t love you.” The female one calls, on the contrary, to long and persistently gain the trust of the bitch, enduring all her quirks and shocks in order to gradually “Melt the Icy Heart.” In fact, both models work poorly. And both are good under certain conditions. The first model works when a man’s conditions are not strict, but clear, but very fair, he is consistent, he is decent himself, he is interesting to a woman, he does not obey her, but does not offend her either. In order to organize a more chaotic and contradictory partner and build the right field of relationships, it is very, that is, extremely important not to offend him or deceive him. You need to take care of yourself and be very tactful, not to be fooled by provocations. In response to his rudeness, it is better to politely say goodbye, thereby allowing him to realize his behavior and feel guilty. Only if a person himself constantly violates boundaries, attacks and behaves tactlessly, is it impossible to figure out where he is to blame and where the other is, which means it is impossible to build a field. In this case, the more chaotic partner will easily drag the second into chaos, and the second will be amazed at his own madness. To have a normal relationship, it is better to communicate with a more organized (as a person) person, more stable and mature than yourself. And if your partner is less organized, you need to watch yourself very carefully and be doubly stable. Such a fair, but firm and consistent position really has a chance to charm the bitch and force her to recognize in the man the one to whom she wants to entrust leadership: a reliable, fair, strong man. But is it really good to give leadership over yourself to someone, even the kindest one? Of course not. However, this may be better than driving yourself and those around you crazy by ruining your life. The latter, in general, is the same subordination, only not to one, but to everyone in a row, chaotically and unsystematically, whoever turns up. It is best to take your personality into your own hands, at least gradually. And sometimes a partner can help with this if he does not use the leadership given to him over himself, but gradually returns it to where it should be. But more on this important point later. For now, let’s focus on the fact that such a model can work and create something like a harmonious couple. But for this, the man must show himself to be a very worthy person (who can be completely trusted), and the woman must turn out to be not so much a bitch, but rather an unbalanced, contradictory, emotionally unstable person who is trying to get rid of it. A real bitch learned to live in her chaos and somehow coexist with her own demons by giving them shares. That’s why she won’t come under human power so easily. But more on that later. The female model of taming a bitch (this is “Love, Endure, Win Trust”) is very criticized by men and considered a trap. No one wants to love, endure, conquer, and end up being used, and even humiliated. From such a picture, any man would be better off becoming a monk if all women turn into bitches, but for now just look for flexible women. Men don't see the logic in showing women their weakness when they expect them to be strong. However, under certain conditions, the female model also works. And it increases masculine strength in a woman’s eyes. If a man manages to maintain a sense of self-worth, not to humiliate himself and show only one weakness - love, and in everything else - strength, he can well afford to “Conquer a Woman”. At a certain moment, having shown his love enough, he can make it clear that his hopes have been exhausted, relationships without reciprocity no longer interest him, and most “Bitches” will not be able to let such a man go and will run after him, willing to get rid of his bitchy behavior. In principle, these are all descriptions of the same thing as in the male model, just from the other side. If you use the models straightforwardly, they do not work at all. “Hardly bending” a bitch means being sent away immediately or accepted and vindictively humiliated a little later. “Winning Trust” by humiliating yourself means losing not only her respect, but also your own. In a word, any models are nonsense, only internal harmony and your own core matter. The main thing to pay attention to is that effective behavior in both models is, in fact, the behavior of a very mature and internally stable person. Immature and unstable, both models will be overused and cause problems. His emotions will always drown out and blind him, because the bitch has an amazing ability to explode his brain. In any model, the partner will behave exactly as an extremely hysterical and unstable girl behaves: tell her to go to hell, then ask for forgiveness, then disappear, then demand something, then change her plans again. This is the best way to resist a partner who has a desire for a normal relationship. But a partner with the same chaos inside may like it. Another question is where these souls will end up together.

Incredibly, a mature person is able to pull an insufficiently mature partner into a relationship that will help him mature. Women, do you want to know the simple secret to building successful relationships? These are relationships with a high degree of trust, but also with the preservation of boundaries, with great warmth, but a balance of contributions, with shared responsibility for the common space, but with personal obligations, with saturation with the energy of the outside world, without symbiotic stuffiness, but also without the coldness of distanced relationships. A person who does not want to develop will not be able to endure such relationships and will fly out of them at an early stage, but a person who strives for development and is ready for it will find such relationships beneficial. For those rejected into chaos, there are a huge number of people like them, ready to dance with them around witches’ fires, drink each other’s tears and blood and practice love magic. Marina Komissarova.

Women's indifference to a man as a test

It's no secret that women's logic, if it exists, of course, is something supernatural. Sometimes, a woman herself cannot explain to herself the purpose of a particular action or intention. The fact is that their subconscious can play a cruel joke on both men and women.

This can be explained as follows - if we can very confidently control our consciousness and sort all our beliefs according to certain principles, then this will not work with the subconscious. It periodically reminds itself of itself through the manifestation of certain unconscious actions.

This fact is directly related to relationships with men. It happens that a woman feels mutual attraction to a male representative, notices mutual interest, but here a number of obstacles arise on guard, expressed in doubts:

is it reliable enough;
how purposeful he is;
whether he is brave or cowardly;
Is he able to take responsibility?

It would seem, why is this psychological analysis needed and what does it give if the relationship does not promise to be long-lasting?! The fact is that every person is naturally programmed to create a couple.

To continue procreation, as paradoxical as it may sound, a woman needs a self-confident male who is capable of making responsible decisions and caring for his loved ones. Based on this, a woman resorts to this kind of trick in order to make sure that her choice is correct.

Who and how practices indifference to attract

It was also noted that women are much more likely than men to use tools such as sarcasm in conversation, more often refer to being busy, and also tend to tease men, disrupt dates and turn on the answering machine when their chosen one is supposed to call, even if they are at home .

Of course, there are also men who practice such methods of flirting. They can demonstrate rudeness or a dismissive attitude to the point of insult when communicating with ladies. Many representatives of the stronger sex also admitted that they sometimes avoid calling their girlfriends or answering their calls, although they would never admit this to the ladies of their hearts in personal communication.

Experts believe that some of the gender bias in the use of “disregard” tactics is due to the difference in the biological roles of men and women. Since a casual relationship can lead to pregnancy, a woman, before entering into a close relationship, seeks to test the strength of her partner’s feelings, otherwise she will have to raise future offspring alone.

But if a man does such checks for lice, he risks being left without a partner - seeing a cold or negative attitude towards himself, the lady will sooner or later simply wave her hand at him... The classic type of intersexual behavior is a touchy girl and a gentleman who seeks to conquer her.

True, if a lady behaves too unapproachable, she risks attracting the attention of a man for whom “taking strongholds” is just a game, psychologists say. As soon as he achieves his goal, he will immediately lose interest in this person. So be careful not to overdo it!

The fact that men and women are creatures from different galaxies has been known for many centuries. This is evidenced by thousands of books written, in the storylines of which passions do not subside for a minute - the struggle between calm and impulsiveness, logic and intuition, restraint and emotionality.

Not a single psychologist can say for sure how such opposite sides can coexist side by side - male and female, yin and yang! But one thing is clear - a man and a woman are made for each other. True, in order to understand this, some representatives of one sex or another need time, and a kind of testing of the partner with time, behavior, and a certain strategy.

Lack of communication skills

When people are unable to communicate well or understand body language, they become rude, even if they didn't intend to be so. The way we perceive things is not always as intended. A person simply does not know how to voice his desires, so he acts as he is accustomed to. He begins to get angry, rude and insult other people instead of calmly explaining what he needs. In fact, try not to take everything to heart, because not everything is as deep as it may seem.

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Stay rational

Try to hide your pride, beliefs and vulnerabilities. Your reaction to events happening around you should be limited to interest. Anger, defensiveness, resentment and other manifestations should remain aside. For most people, such actions may seem extremely difficult. For example, if someone attacks a person’s belief system, there is a natural desire to defend them and defend their point of view. To remain indifferent, you need to be as open as possible and allow for the possibility of any development in any situation. If someone doesn't agree with you, tell them it's their choice and you respect them, but you stand your ground.

Frying pan against flowers

One of the manifestations of indifference is lack of attention to each other

We can live in the same family, but not notice each other’s needs, but what we don’t notice can be very important for our loved one. For example, my wife wants me to give her flowers, and I say: well, why do you need them, let me give you a frying pan instead! She's more useful

I buy a frying pan, she smiles, accepts my gift, but she wants flowers. This is also indifference, because you do not pay attention to the person’s needs and desires. You measure it by yourself. I don't need flowers, I'm for a frying pan. It seems like a small thing, but it doesn't lead to anything good. And then children are born in such a family.

I recently attended a meeting of the commission on preventing violence in the family and society. We discussed the problem: one boy in kindergarten behaves very aggressively, and it also turned out that he constantly wants to sleep. They began to question the parents. They say: “What do you want, we come home from work tired, go to bed at eight o’clock, and he watches movies on the Internet until three in the morning.” The boy is five or six years old. The parents believe that there is nothing bad in this situation: after all, they work to provide for him, so that he has everything. The fact that he watches uncontrolled information until three in the morning is normal for them. Who knows what this child saw? Can you be surprised if over time he grows into an antisocial person? What do you want from young people if they grow up in indifferent families?

I don’t know how to bring people out of the lethargic sleep of indifference. It is everywhere, even in small things. Unclean shoes, unkempt clothes, negligence - all this is formed by indifference.

Wedding or runaway groom

And so, at one fine moment, the woman lifts the veil of her mystery and feigned indifference, and allows the traveler she meets, who has been hanging around her royal palace for many days now, to look into her heart. And what is happening?!

In the first case, the so-called prince will come to visit, see what’s going on, take advantage of the hospitality, and come to the conclusion - oh, why do I need it?! And carefully, in reverse and unnoticed, he will leave the royal chambers, leaving the chosen bride in bewilderment and sadness.

She will never understand at first what it was - a blow of wind or someone really entering her mansion. And only the persistent courtship and fiery speeches of a gentleman from the past will bring a sad smile on her face, and the thought will creep far into her subconscious: “I knew it”...

The second option is more optimistic. True, here it is worth taking into account the restrained behavior of a woman who is going to allow a “knight on a white horse” to approach her. Restraint, accuracy and self-control can play into the hands of both men and women in such cases.

Often, people rush into the whirlpool of passions, without controlling the further flow of events and letting everything take its course. This is where many problems occur that do not lead the couple to anything good. And you just need to learn to control yourself and your emotions. And then, even after many years of living together, the woman will remain a mystery for the man, which he will not tire of solving.

Reasons for indifference

This behavior is often provoked by fear of responsibility and subsequent obligations that may arise as a reaction to the help provided to another person. There are other concerns, expressed in the ingratitude of people who received help. Reasons may include severe upheavals that occurred in the recent past, shock or stress, or the death of a loved one. Often this condition is caused by the use of alcoholic beverages or drugs.

Indifference to life, lack of empathy for the pain of other people often lies in family relationships and begins in childhood, when there is violence, despotism, cruel upbringing on the part of parents, and inability to find a common language with the child. Lack of attention, care, affection in childhood and adolescence can serve as a significant reason that a child will grow up not only passive, but also cruel, showing aggression towards the people who surround him.

Children look at their parents' behavior from the very beginning. A person is not born indifferent. Some are taught from an early age to be independent and trust only themselves, thus cultivating selfishness in the child. Others are overprotected, which creates a situation where their own needs come before everything else. Such upbringing and incorrect attitude towards your child are often the reason for his subsequent indifference to the needs of other people.

Stay rational

Indifference: definition, features

Indifference is a state of indifference, infantility, a passive attitude towards everything that does not directly concern a person. Indifference is the modern face of evil. Frankly speaking, the appearance is inconspicuous and drab, merging with the general mass, which is its main danger. A distinctive feature of indifference is the mechanism of its spread.

An individual who refuses help sows “seeds”, and the sprouts of indifference appear in the soul of the person who was refused. Chuck Palahniuk wrote about this in his famous work (“no one cared whether he lived or died, and he reciprocated everything”). Indifference, like a pandemic, arises in society and gradually spreads throughout the entire social group. Many witnesses adopt the model of indifferent behavior as the most correct one, because it will not bring problems, and the feeling of guilt will subside on its own over time.

Does not prohibit a man from meeting his friends

Men often find themselves in situations where meetings with friends develop into an outright scandal. Women try to prohibit various parties or simply show aggression. But if a woman doesn’t love, it doesn’t matter to her how her chosen one spends his time. She understands perfectly well that this will be easier for everyone, and scandals will not bring anything good.

Why do people become indifferent to each other?

As sad as it may be, betrayals do happen in the lives of two people - and, alas, not so rarely. Of course, such an event usually brings little joy to anyone (except, perhaps, the one who cheats - and even then not always). The deceived half often does not understand why this happened and feels like a victim, while the “active” participant is tormented by pangs of conscience and at the same time, deep down in his soul, tries to justify himself to himself. Why do such situations arise? Why, after some time, do two loving people (or one of them) become indifferent to each other and cause pain to their loved one?.. Many of us are looking for answers to these questions. Someone finds it, someone gets tired of looking... Why do people become indifferent to each other? The search for another object “on the side” for love or sex is usually due to a certain number of reasons. Psychologists say that there is no one person to blame for betrayal - there are always two people to blame. If one person is looking for some kind of sensation or relationship outside the home, it means that he is not receiving enough of this something from his husband or wife. It can be anything: lack of attention, affection, sex, kindness, understanding, common interests... As a rule, when you have such a close friend or girlfriend, your partner thinks that it was he, the scoundrel, who broke up your happy family . This is not true - something else broke the happy family. A new hobby is a consequence, not a cause. The reason usually lies much deeper. For example, one couple I know had the following situation: despite the fact that they had been married not very long (5 years), the girl developed a hobby - a doctor, whom she went to for some reason. that of female malaise. This passion turned out to be mutual, and the result was her complete love for a respectable doctor and discord with her husband. Why did it happen so? And the reason, as it turned out, does not lie so deep: her husband has a somewhat exaggerated attitude towards the concept of “family life”. He doesn't want to share his wife with anyone. She doesn’t go to meetings with her friends, he doesn’t meet with friends - after all, he “didn’t get married to run around with friends.” In addition, this girl is from a fairly wealthy family, while the young man, on the contrary, is from a poor family. Throughout his childhood, he was taught that being wealthy is bad, that those who have money did not earn it, but stole it. Thus, the guy is tormented by an inferiority complex - he feels out of place, although he loves his wife very much. Cheating is not a cause, but a consequence. As a result of these simple reasons, a situation arose when the two-room apartment began to feel in some kind of vacuum, feeling at the same time, some of the husband’s anger towards her wealthy relatives. In this case, the doctor who met on her way was not at all an accident. This is a legitimate outcome - she found the opportunity to breathe fresh air with a person who does not put pressure and does not reproach her. Unfortunately, not everyone can understand such combinations, however, having understood, something can be changed and corrected. After all, you once loved each other and were happy. Everything can be returned - you just have to make an effort on yourself and try to understand each other’s needs.

people indifference reasons relationships everything

Chatting like a stranger

Source: www.kakprosto.ru

Causes of mental callousness and indifference

Indifference is not a disease, so it is impossible to list clear reasons and make a correct diagnosis. Moreover, indifference is usually incurable. Each indifferent person has his own story, because of which he stopped responding to the hardships of others; each case is unique in its own way. However, there are some main reasons why people are indifferent:

Indifference as a method of self-defense due to multiple emotional and mental traumas previously suffered;
Lack of understanding of someone else’s situation, inability to empathize with it due to the lack of similar life experience;
Physical and psychological reasons - alcoholism and drug addiction, mental retardation, mental disorders;
Short-term severe stress due to physical injury or death of a loved one;
Lack of support, love and even violence from relatives - in childhood or in a married couple.

These are just some of the reasons that answer the question of why people have become indifferent.