What is respectful attitude towards a person and how is it expressed?

We live in a society. We interact with society. By coming into contact with various people, we hope for respect from society. Do we behave ourselves in an appropriate manner? Surely you know about the “Boomerang” rule. As you act, so will other people act towards you. What is respect for a person and how exactly is it expressed?

In the previous article, we looked at the differences between arguments. Today we will talk about proper behavior towards society. We will also find out what respect for a person is and how it should be shown?

Definition of the concept - respect

Respect often seems like a meaningful and powerful word. We state that we want others to treat us with respect, and we do not like it when others disrespect us. But what is the real meaning of this word?

The word respect has several definitions - feel free to look it up if you want. But in the context of treating other people's beliefs, the most basic and appropriate definition is "due respect" for another person.

What does respect mean?

Respect means paying attention to the beliefs of another person, that is, treating him appropriately.

To consider something means to look at it. The Latin origin of the word "respect" also means "to look back." Respect is simply an observation. Respecting faith means observing it, recognizing its existence.

So the word "respect" doesn't really mean much. It really just means looking at the other person's beliefs. You don't have to like these beliefs. You may even think they are stupid. But you can still respect someone's beliefs simply by acknowledging that those beliefs exist. That's a pretty low bar, isn't it?

How to start respecting yourself - advice from a psychologist

Respecting yourself means having self-esteem.

How to learn to respect and value yourself:

1. Get to know yourself and accept yourself. You must study and accept all your external characteristics, advantages and disadvantages, strengths and weaknesses. It is also important to accept the past if it is because of it that you do not respect yourself.
2. Love yourself. First, define the difference between selfishness and healthy self-love. With selfishness, a person wants others to obey him and live according to his desires and needs. With healthy love, a person respects the interests of others and does not infringe on them, but puts his own needs first and lives the way he wants to live.
3. Develop yourself. Remember that there is no such thing as perfection, but that doesn't mean you can't strive for perfection. Do something every day that transforms you into the best version of yourself. Do not compare your and other people's achievements, analyze only your progress.
4. Relax and pamper yourself. What gives you pleasure? Self-respect is taking care of yourself and periodically satisfying your whims. Don't you deserve to get a good night's sleep or spend half an hour taking a bath? When was the last time you actually did what you wanted instead of what someone else needed (usually)?
5. Find your calling. The most powerful source of self-esteem is doing what you love. What do you consider valuable and meaningful? Can you do this? Only when you do things that bring you pleasure and satisfaction will you begin to respect yourself. Of course, for maximum effect it must resonate with society. Use the golden formula for choosing a profession: I can (abilities) + I want (interests) + I need (demand in society).

Note! Self-esteem gives a feeling of confidence and a sense of stability and security.

Contempt

What about the flip side?

The word disrespect is the opposite of respect.

Disrespecting someone's beliefs may mean not accepting them and ignoring them. But more often than not, this means demonstrating a lack of politeness. That is ignorance. To be impolite is to fail to show good manners. And manners are social expectations.

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In general, if you violate other people's expectations of how they think you should behave around them, it is considered disrespectful.

This concept - disrespect for a person, can also be defined in a general sense.

The general meaning of respect is to behave the way other people think you should behave.

If you violate other people's expectations in a certain way, then you are being disrespectful. If you behave the way others think you should behave, then you are being respectful.

So respect is actually a form of obedience. Doesn't this make sense? Aren't the most obedient people usually considered the most respectful? And isn't disobedience often called disrespectful?

My experience

In my case, the lack of self-respect had a complex basis. It all started with taking family problems personally. It is difficult for a child to understand where his area of ​​​​responsibility is and where someone else’s. He identifies himself with both parents, so he takes everything that happens in the family very closely. Especially if your peers add fuel to the fire, reminding you that you are the daughter of an addict or pointing out your excess weight, which you, without realizing it, tried to protect yourself from the outside world. And every situation where you were unable to fight back against the offenders further undermined your self-esteem. Then a stormy transition began. And then you got lost in life.

Disrespect occurs at all levels. This is a careless appearance, and the inability to express one’s opinion, and the habit of being with someone who will show at least some positive sign of attention, and alcohol abuse, and low-quality food, films, and entertainment. In general, if you don’t respect yourself, then you always and everywhere choose things and people of low quality. You take what someone condescendingly offers. Or something that doesn’t require much effort from you.

And self-disrespect is surprise in those moments when someone shows that you deserve better. But the more “warts” of the past and its consequences you cut off, the less surprising it is. Little by little the realization comes that you are truly worthy of love and attention. And soon you begin to perceive this as the norm.

Eye of the beholder

Respect is an “eye of the beholder” concept. What one person considers respectful may be interpreted as disrespectful by another, and vice versa. So if someone behaves the way you think people should behave, it's a sign of respect. If someone violates your expectations in ways that you don't like, you may interpret this as a sign of disrespect. And from your point of view, you would always be right.

By these definitions, I could present myself as either very respectful or very disrespectful. On the one hand, I definitely pay attention to other people's beliefs. I certainly don't ignore how others think, feel and behave. I often like to delve into someone's beliefs once I get to know them. So in that sense I'm very respectful. I consciously observe others and try to find common ground.

On the other hand, I often violate other people's expectations of how I should behave. I don't feel obligated to follow social norms. This is often intentional. I recognize expected behavior and consciously choose not to adhere to it. For many people this is very disrespectful.

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One person can love me if he likes to be honest and direct. And he may appreciate me highly for this. Another person may perceive me as impolite for the same behavior. Within their own framework, they would both be right.

What it is

Depending on the area where this concept is used, it has some adjustments. Thus, in medicine and psychology, respect presupposes a certain attitude towards the client, implying complete and non-judgmental acceptance of the characteristics of life, worldview, social status and personal desires. Non-interference in the psychological way of overcoming troubles or problems, despite the fact that medical recommendations may be given, but the doctor must understand that the choice of ultimately following them remains with the patient.

In social work, respect implies equal treatment, regardless of status. Respect for elders, children, homeless people or billionaires should be on the same level. It is the social understanding of this term that is closest to the everyday perception and internal interpretation of respect.

Since respect is recognized as a general social norm and its presence is a necessary element of society at the humanistic level, the concept and regulation of this type of interaction is enshrined in law. At the broadest level, it implies the recognition of freedom, territorial integrity and the equal position of the state among all other countries in the world. Personal human rights to decent, respectful treatment are enshrined in the laws of each state and guarantee support and protection of a comfortable, psychologically safe existence, providing penalties for violators. You can find all the legal provisions in the category on protecting the honor and dignity of a person.

At the level of interaction, respect appears in the process of education, since it is an external social, somewhat artificial norm, which, however, helps regulate many disagreements.

This is not an innate quality, therefore children, people who grew up outside a social society or in a society with low cultural norms, cannot have expressed respect for others due to the lack of examples of internalization of this behavioral strategy.

You can reinforce a respectful line of behavior through strict prohibitions, using willpower and following the prescribed rules. However, it is impossible to prepare a list of correct respectful reactions for all occasions, which, in essence, makes respect an act of creative adaptation. This is the need to listen to the interlocutor, to subtly notice his reactions of need. The ability to close an unpleasant topic in a timely manner, change the format of interaction - all these are moments of showing respect for the opponent, requiring attentiveness and an empathic attitude.

As part of ethical education, respect has its own rules of manifestation: justice, equality, sincere and practical interest in the manifestations of others. In this case, there must be a complete absence of forced moments of manipulation or harsh education. The way people can negotiate while remaining on equal terms involves the active use of dialogue and finding compromise solutions in disputes.

Lack of respect may indicate a neglected educational process and inadequate self-esteem. In more serious cases, if a person has changed for the worse, the presence of mental pathologies accompanied by impaired social interaction can be called into question.

Respectful relativity

Since the definitions of respect and disrespect are personal, I will share a personal example for you.

I think it is wrong to forcibly impregnate, cage and kill animals. So if someone supports this system, for example by buying animal products in restaurants or grocery stores, they automatically ignore my beliefs. Please note that I don't feel the same way about people who hunt animals for food to survive in the wild.

Although I wouldn't do it myself, I don't automatically think that such people are disrespectful to their beliefs or disrespectful to animals. But supporting modern factory farming is impossible - that's about as disrespectful as a human being can get. This is disrespectful to animals. It's disrespectful to the environment. And it's personally disrespectful to my beliefs. This behavior goes far beyond impoliteness.

When a meat eater says they respect my beliefs, from their point of view they may also be right. They might need nothing more to satisfy this definition than to notice that I am vegan. Which is pretty easy to do. But at the same time, they also meet my definition of disrespect.

Society norms

Basic social norms related to showing respect come down to compliance with laws and following certain, undeclared rules. The primary one is attention to others, comparable to research interest. This is due to the fact that only by thoroughly studying the life and characterological characteristics of a person, can one ultimately understand what line of behavior will not affect his dignity, will promote development and eliminate arrogance and condescension.

Until an understanding of the interlocutor is achieved, it is necessary to take into account the classical rules of etiquette and express your attitude in a positive way. Respect is manifested in gratitude, and gratitude should concern not only those areas where you directly ask for help, but in any contacts. If they held the door for you or the seller helped you choose a product, it doesn’t matter that this activity is due to their professional tasks, the expressed gratitude shows respect.

The norms imply the provision of attention, manifested in appropriate compliments, without pathos and ingratiation, and congratulations on official dates. There are certain rules of etiquette when introducing people to each other, and by following them, you can avoid situations of lack of respect. There is also a certain normative structure in relation to people of higher positions. It includes the absence of bickering, the exclusion of foul language, raising the voice, it is recommended to respond to criticism with submission, and to thank for the support provided.

Respect in the relationship between husband and wife is perceived as a priority. In many traditions, marriages are possible in the absence of love, but excluded in the absence of respect. At the same time, the opposite situation cannot be ruled out, which also depends on cultural factors. Thus, eastern countries are famous for their attitude towards women, where she can have all the material benefits, receive huge doses of attention, but at the same time she will never be comparable in status to a man. A woman's place is not equal, but rather relates to things and acquisitions, which entails corresponding treatment and lack of respect. Europe is distinguished by its desire for equality of positions, upholding rights and freedoms; accordingly, in the field of marriage we can talk about the presence of respect. The downside is that Europeans usually suffer from the sensual part, which is blocked by many social norms.

It is also worth noting the age-related rules of respect, because in most cultures an appropriate attitude towards elders is instilled and even required. In many places, age is revered in all its manifestations, from address to behavior (carrying bags, giving up your seat). However, the problem lies on the other side of the age criteria - respectful attitude towards children, which is practically absent and is not regulated in any way. That is why the majority treat them condescendingly, allow them to humiliate their dignity, and violate personal boundaries. It is worth understanding that children are not only full-fledged individuals, but also those who, having absorbed a disrespectful attitude towards themselves, will spread it further.

Literature

• Large legal dictionary / Ed. A. Ya. Sukhareva, V. D. Zorkina, V. E. Krutskikh. - M.: INFRA-M, 1998. - P. 712-713. — (Library of dictionaries “INFRA-M”). — 60,000 copies. — ISBN 5-86225-578-8.
• Vlasova O. V.
  [law.edu.ru/book/book.asp?bookID=1442225 Human dignity as a moral and legal value: a general theoretical study] / abstract of the dissertation for the degree of Doctor of Law. Specialty 12.00.01 - theory and history of law and state; history of doctrines about law and state; Scientific cons. O. I. Tsybulevskaya. — Saratov: Sarat. state acad. Law, 2011. - 54 p.
• Gulina M. A.
  [www.voluntary.ru/dictionary/903/word/%D3%E2%E0%E6%E5%ED%E8%E5+%EA+%EB%FE%E4%FF%EC Respect for people] // Dictionary reference book for social work. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2008. - 400 p. — ISBN 978-5-469-00450-9.
• Julia D.
  [terme.ru/dictionary/878/word/uvazhenie Respect] // Philosophical Dictionary = Dider Julia Dictionnaire de la philosophie / Transl. from French N.V. Andreeva. - M.: International Relations, 2000. - 544 p. — ISBN 5-7133-1033-7.
• Zorin V.I.
  [www.terme.ru/dictionary/470/word/%D3%C2%C0%C6%C5%CD%C8%C5 Respect] // Eurasian wisdom from A to Z: philosophical explanatory dictionary. - Almaty: Sozdik-Dictionary, 2002. - 408 p.
• Kashepov V.P.
  [www.az-design.ru/index.shtml?Projects&AZLibrCD&Law/Constn/KRF93/krf021 Commentary on Art. 21 of the Constitution of Russia] // Commentary on the Constitution of the Russian Federation / ed. L. A. Okunkova. — 2nd, extra. and processed - M.: BEK Publishing House, 1996. - ISBN 5-85639-159-4.
• [www.terme.ru/dictionary/522/word/%D3%C2%C0%C6%C5%CD%C8%C5 Respect] // Dictionary of Ethics / Ed. I. S. Kona. - M.: Politizdat, 1981. - 430 p.
• Heigl-Ewers A., Heigl F., Ott U., Rüger U.
  [vocabulary.ru/dictionary/800/word/%D3%E2%E0%E6%E5%ED%E8%E5 Respect] // Basic Guide in psychotherapy. - St. Petersburg: Speech, East European Institute of Psychoanalysis, 2001. - 784 p. — ISBN 5-88787-018-4.
• Dillon, Robin S.
  [plato.stanford.edu/entries/respect/ Respect] // Stanford encyclopedia of philosophy / Edward N. Zalta (ed.). — 2003.

India

In India, it is believed that when a person's foot accidentally touches a book or any written material (considered a manifestation of Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge) or another person's foot, it is something of an unwitting act of disrespect. After this offense, an apology must follow in the form of a single gesture of the right hand (Pranama), during which the guilty person first touches the object with his fingertips, and then applies the same fingers to his forehead.

China

In this country it is rude to call someone by name unless you have known them for a long period of time. The ability to respect is generally a very necessary skill (and trait) in Eastern cultures. In work-related situations, people address each other by their last names. At home, people often refer to each other by nicknames, surnames, or specific terms denoting ancestry. In Chinese culture, people often refer to their friends as children and elders, even if they are only a few months younger or older. When a Chinese person asks someone their age, they often do so to know how to address them, since respect is an important part of the Chinese language and culture.

Respect for the Fatherland: its role in the formation of patriotism

Homeland is not just six letters in one word. This is what unites everyone and makes us one big family. Love for the Motherland is called patriotism. But here’s the question: “Can he exist on love alone?” No, in order for patriotism not to dry out over the years, it must be constantly fueled by other feelings: pride, respect, gratitude.

Only by realizing all the beauty of your country, its features and shortcomings, can you become a patriot. And as mentioned earlier, respect is recognition of the merits of someone or something; accordingly, without it it is impossible to cultivate true patriotism.

Notes

1. ↑ 12
   Zorin, 2002.
2. ↑ 123
   Kohn, 1981.
3. Heigl-Evers, Heigl, Ott, Rueger, 2001.
4. Gulina, 2008.
5. Sukharev, Zorkin, Krutskikh, 1998.
6. Vlasova, 2011.
7. Kashepov, 1996.
8. [vivovoco.astronet.ru/VV/LAW/BRD.HTM Basic Law of the Federal Republic of Germany of May 23, 1949 Part 1 Art. 1]
9. [www.norge.ru/constitusia/ Constitution of Norway. Amended July 23, 1995. Article 110-c]
10. [chinalawinfo.ru/constitutional_law/constitution_ch2 Constitution of the People's Republic of China of 1982 (as amended in 1988, 1993, 1999, 2004). Art. 33] (unavailable link since 05/26/2013 (3119 days))
11. [archive.is/20120719062340/worldconstitutions.ru/archives/78 Constitution of South Africa. Adopted on May 8, 1996, as amended by the Constitutional Assemblies on October 11, 1996. Art. 10]
12. [www.zakonrf.info/zakon-o-policii/5/ Federal Law “On the Police”. Part 1 art. 5]
13. [www.garant.ru/products/ipo/prime/doc/1257567/ Code of Ethics and Official Conduct of a Federal Civil Servant of the Federal Bailiff Service (approved by order of the Federal Bailiff Service dated April 12, 2011 No. 124). Clause 4.2]