There is probably no person who is not familiar with the word “charisma”. They talk about charisma, wanting to highlight someone, to emphasize their natural charm and charm. Often this word appears in various thematic articles dedicated to famous people. It is often abused by spectators and theater critics when praising the work of an artist.
Despite its widespread use in speech, this term remains a mystery to many people. What it is? How did this concept come about? What does the word itself mean? Few are willing to answer these questions. And even fewer people are ready to list the qualities that make a woman charismatic.
What is it? Concept
It is impossible to understand what a charismatic woman means without an idea of the general meaning of the term.
What is “charisma”? According to the definition, this is a characteristic natural trait or a combination of them that gives a person exclusivity, endowing the individual with special qualities in the eyes of other members of society.
As a rule, the special qualities that every charismatic woman possesses are attractiveness, charm, charm, exceptional visibility in any environment. Of course, personal characteristics can also lie in other things, for example, spirituality or passion for something.
External manifestation of the image
Is it possible to externally determine what kind of charismatic woman she is? I think that until you talk to her and look into her eyes, it will not be easy to draw final conclusions. After all, many are just trying to behave in public, like her, while remaining inside a notorious girl who dreams of universal recognition.
It is difficult to describe what a real charismatic woman looks like. Many sites describe her as slim and beautiful, fashionably dressed, with a stylish hairstyle. But you understand perfectly well that this is far from the truth. Mother Teresa spent her entire life in monastic dress, and her memory still lives on. Her name became synonymous with kindness and sacrifice, and the soldiers whose lives she saved remembered her with tears in their eyes until the end of their days.
Mother Teresa
There are external signs by which you can still determine whether a woman is truly charismatic:
- is always in the center of events;
- very charming and knows how to win people over;
- has a curiosity about life and this can be seen from the caring sparkle in her eyes;
- knows how to control himself and never fuss.
These primary signs will force you to take a closer look at the woman in order to find out the motivation for her actions.
Are charisma, character, habits and beauty related concepts?
What is a charismatic woman? Blonde or brunette? Fat or thin? Stylish or not? Sloppy or neat? Independent or dependent? The list of such questions can continue indefinitely, but there will be only one answer to any of them. This answer is any.
Charisma is a quality that has nothing to do with appearance, habits, occupation, or ability to dress.
Both a rare beauty and an ugly woman can be charismatic. A woman who earns millions may not have charisma, just like a housewife. Charismaticness is a special innate talent, a gift to a person from nature, completely independent of how he looks or lives. A charismatic woman is one who knows how to attract attention to herself naturally, without making an effort.
Why aren't all people charismatic?
Becoming charismatic is problematic for people who have the following qualities:
- Pessimism , which prevents you from moving towards your goal.
- Fear of taking responsibility, which is unusual for a leader .
- Fear that prevents internal changes.
- Complexity that makes a person uninteresting to others.
- Lack of communication skills and the ability to listen to others. Without these qualities, it is impossible to attract the attention of even a single interlocutor, not to mention the team.
- Incorrectly set priorities , when a person tries to succeed in many areas at the same time, which only a few succeed.
- Excessive demands both towards oneself and towards others. It's emotionally draining and doesn't produce results.
About the word “charisma” itself
The word itself is of Greek origin. Literally translated, χάρισμα means “gift from the gods.” In Greek, it was used to denote a person’s ability to attract attention to one’s own person.
This word was also used by Christians from the first years of the formation of religion. It is present in the texts of the New Testament and is understood as grace given to man by God. Catholicism has its own definition of this concept. According to him, charisma is a special spiritual quality, a property sent down to people by God.
Positive attitude
Having set yourself the goal of gaining charisma, first of all you need to learn positive thinking in order to appreciate every moment that life gives. People are intuitively drawn to those who talk about everyday things in a positive way. Anyone can complain about an unfair fate, but only a few can look into the future with a winning smile. Regular implementation of the following psychological techniques will help you develop the skills of charismatic behavior, and at the same time increase your self-esteem:
- Laugh at yourself. If a person is able to smile sincerely when it comes to him directly, others begin to think that he is devoid of complexes.
- Adapting your humor to different people. Once you find yourself in a company where jokes below the belt do not cause rejection, you can give free rein to your wit. When in the company of serious men or women who appreciate subtle humor, it would be more appropriate to tell a funny story that does not go beyond the bounds of decency. It’s generally better not to joke with people you don’t know well without a clear reason.
- Teasing your interlocutor. “Teasing” a close friend will help you boost your charisma and improve your communication skills. But you shouldn’t go too far, so as not to accidentally offend a friend by turning a seemingly completely innocent joke into an insult.
When trying to develop charisma using humor, the main emphasis should be on the quality, not the quantity, of jokes. A person who tells jokes left and right can easily receive the title of buffoon. A short, witty saying sometimes produces a much greater effect than a series of drawn-out stories.
Is it possible to learn charisma?
How to become a charismatic woman and is it possible to do it? According to the traditional conservative view, shared by most sociologists, philosophers and psychologists, this quality cannot be learned; it is an innate talent, like the ability to paint or the timbre of the voice.
But not everyone shares this understanding of charisma. There is another understanding of the very nature of this property of the human personality. According to him, charisma is not a unique talent inherited from ancestors or bestowed from above, but simply the result of a certain type of nonverbal behavior.
Accordingly, by learning certain techniques and turning them into a reflex, a habit, it is quite possible to become a charismatic person.
Self-love as a stronghold of charisma
If a woman doesn’t love herself and criticizes herself in every possible way, you shouldn’t expect people to admire her. Even if a girl has some shortcomings, you should not consider yourself a failure because of them; you need to find those qualities that others will appreciate and learn to use them skillfully in communication. For example, if a woman can speak beautifully, this can be developed into the ability to persuade.
You should not dwell on your shortcomings , since absolutely all people have them, both external and internal, however, this does not prevent them from being charismatic. A woman must learn to build her image based only on her merits, and by loving herself, respecting even small achievements, she will undoubtedly be able to achieve success.
How does innate charisma differ from acquired charisma?
An innate quality is considered to be a property that a person demonstrates from early childhood. Those people who, due to their professional activities, are faced with a large number of very tiny children, notice that it is impossible to take your eyes off some babies. Of course, there can be no talk of any set of non-verbal methods of behavior in such a situation.
However, many children who did not stand out in infancy later begin to attract attention and evoke tenderness and admiration. As a rule, those behavioral features that caused delight among others are fixed in the subconscious and become reflexive.
This happens especially often with little girls, who then grow into adult women and continue to enjoy everyone's attention, just as in early childhood. Thus, to put it as simply as possible, a charismatic woman is a girl who successfully smiled or otherwise touched adults.
That is, every child can grow up with charisma, you just need to give him confidence in his own irresistibility. For example, the most charismatic women never admit the possibility that they might leave someone indifferent. These ladies don’t fight such thoughts, don’t drive them away, they simply don’t think like that. The possibility of remaining unnoticed does not initially appear in the mind of a woman with charisma. If you tell a lady who has this quality that some people are not noticed in public places, she will be very surprised.
Acquired charisma, cultivated in oneself already in adulthood, is the result of long and extremely difficult work on oneself. This work is not about controlling weight or teaching yourself to be neat, but about changing your type of thinking, breaking conditioned reflexes and stereotypes.
Acquired charisma differs from innate charisma in that the woman who possesses it, as well as the man, have a pronounced trait, a feature, with the help of which they become the epicenter of attention. This could be a sense of humor or quick reaction, the way of holding a cup or quiet, insinuating speech, the ability to play musical instruments or something else. In any case, if you have acquired charisma, you can always list the qualities that distinguish its owner from other people.
Charismatic woman in society
Charisma primarily implies charm, the owner of which attracts everyone's attention, is easy-going, and can find a common language with anyone. It is a woman who is able to rivet eyes on her every movement, forcing you to follow her every word, and admire her persistent character, that is called charismatic.
Charisma is a character quality that attracts truly smart and strong men, because they are the ones who need a strong and charming woman. Many people believe that having charisma is a natural gift, and not everyone has it. Indeed, not every woman has charisma, but if you want, with a little work on yourself, this quality can be developed. It will help not only arrange your personal life, but also achieve success in your career.
How to acquire and develop this quality?
Charismatic women, examples of whose behavior can be observed not only in life, but also on the TV screen or on social networks, always have a zest. This is where you should start on the path to acquiring and developing this quality in yourself. That is, you should understand which properties of your own personality are most attractive to others, and begin to develop them.
There are also exercises that help women become more attractive, that is, charismatic. There is nothing complicated about them, except that you should practice regularly, even on weekends.
The first exercise is proper awakening. You need to start the day with positivity and energy, and not with a stuttering walk to the bathroom with your eyes closed. To do this, you need to wake up with plenty of time and do exercises. Any type of activity is suitable - yoga, aerobics, fitness, even meditation can set you up for a positive outlook on the day.
The second exercise is designed to develop correct posture. A charismatic woman is a person with her head up and her back straight. Slouching, as well as constantly looking at your feet, can completely ruin the impression you make on others. For good posture, you need to walk for 10-20 minutes a day with a book on your head, of course, without dropping it. And regularity is important in this exercise; you need to do it daily.
The third and extremely important activity is talking out loud with a mirror, that is, with your reflection. The topic of the monologue is not so important; the main thing is to conduct the conversation out loud. This method will help overcome shyness, and also contribute to the formation of control over the timbre of the voice and the style of speech. A good addition is to record your monologues and then listen to them. Of course, by looking in the mirror, you can learn to control your facial expressions and gaze.
Are sexuality and charisma the same thing?2
No. These are similar, but not identical concepts. To understand this, it is worth imagining the personality of Joseph Stalin - a man with pronounced charisma, strong-willed, strong, whom they followed and believed. And just a smart person. And what? Will simply “cramming” evoke the same range of emotions? Well, definitely not.
The concepts of sexual charisma and sexuality are in the same relationship. Looking sexy does not mean having sexual charisma. A completely beautiful girl, dressed with taste and with a hint of sex, armed with a mysterious “squint”, will be perceived by most men as sexy. In ordinary life, she may not even have self-confidence, because the internal component does not play a role here, only the external one.
Sexual charisma does not require any revealing outfits, poses, or looks. She will do everything herself, even if her owner is in the bag, as they say. And then the bag will seem like a kind of hint, and not a sign of lack of clothing, if such a thing is even possible. But at the same time, a person with sexual charisma will not be desired only in terms of sex, she will be respected, taken into account, and not used simply as an object to satisfy a one-time need.
What else is important for developing charisma?
Before you begin to develop this quality, you need to decide what a “charismatic woman” means in your own mind. Everyone has a stereotype of this concept. You don't need to break it, you just need to conform to it.
The way you live your life is also important. It is impossible to become attractive to others if you do not like yourself. That is, you should act and look exactly the way you want. If you want to run in the park in the morning in a pink suit with rhinestones, you need to do this, and not sigh, repeating to yourself that such activities and clothes are “not for your age,” or come up with other excuses.
Complexes on the path to charisma
Based on the points mentioned above, it becomes obvious that only one thing can hinder the development of charisma – complexes. A person who constantly feels guilty and afraid cannot be called charismatic. Such a person has so many problems that it is impossible to rely on him - it seems that just a little more, and he will simply crumble under the weight of responsibility and unmade decisions. That is why the path to success lies through nothing other than, first of all, through liberation from complexes and faith in yourself.
Do we need to take other people into account?
Charisma has nothing to do with selfishness. A woman with charisma is, as a rule, attentive to other people, as well as to everything that happens around her.
However, not a single person with this property will allow himself to be manipulated or taken advantage of. This means not only stopping attempts to sit on your neck, but also prioritizing your daily activities.
Paradoxical as it may seem, mere trifles and everyday fuss most strongly influence the way of thinking and type of behavior of women. For example, after waking up on the weekend, having done some exercise, a housewife must make a choice - cook breakfast for the family or enjoy a cup of coffee. As a rule, no one thinks about this, but simply does it. Usually women either combine both activities, or prepare breakfast and only then drink their coffee. Those who want to develop charismatic qualities in themselves should do differently. First, coffee for yourself, then breakfast for others.
The third "trick". I'm cool!
It is very important that a charismatic woman has her own truth. Such a woman is not a “dummy woman.” Yes, men have such a concept - “dummy”, this is a woman who does not have her own convictions, a rather superficial person, and not a deep worldview. Why is it important not to be a dummy?
You must know who you are: at the level of identity, mission - know why you are here. At the level of beliefs - to know what is good for you, what is true and false for you, where your truth and untruth are. You must have your own interests, which manifest themselves in a certain sense of purpose. And, of course, you must have faith in yourself.
What does it mean to believe in yourself? This is an unconditional belief in your identity and that everything works out for you. Even if you have periods when something doesn’t work out, you should clearly know that you will still succeed in the end. It's just a bad time right now.
Knowing that you will succeed anyway is self-confidence. Whatever you do, wherever you go, whatever your path, there must be sincere faith in yourself; it makes a woman whole and attractive .
Development of oratory
Although charismatic people have completely different personalities with their own unique styles, they have one thing in common: rhetorical skill. What can be done to improve speech culture?
The first step is to reconsider the manner of everyday communication. It is important to be attentive to those with whom you are having a conversation , and it does not matter whether it is a virtual correspondence between a guy and a girl or a discussion in real life with a group of people. Each audience has its own language, so you should not communicate with an intelligent adult in youth slang.
Before starting the story, the listener should be made clear for what purpose he is being addressed. A good speaker always strives for dialogue. His primary task is to encourage the audience to approve , because initially not everyone is inclined to support the speaker. When talking about something, you need to give examples from life, since real stories inspire and inspire people. It is also worth making small pauses in those places where, in the opinion of the speaker, it is necessary to focus attention.
It is imperative to develop diction. Special articulation exercises and tongue twisters will help with this.
General Tips
As has already been said, anyone can acquire charisma if they wish. When setting a course for achieving success, you should use the following recommendations from social psychologists:
- Support others. What is the difference between weak-willed and envious people? Because they mercilessly criticize the more successful, and also instill uncertainty in those who are trying to change their lives for the better. Charismatic and strong natures are different. They do not skimp on compliments, provide support, and encourage you in difficult times.
- Don't try to please everyone. There is no need to look for approval on the side and pay attention to spiteful critics. Anyone who has managed to cultivate charisma in himself does not need to be liked by everyone. As they say, you won't be nice to everyone.
- Don't let yourself be offended. A charismatic leader will not allow himself to be insulted and will never follow the lead of the crowd. It is not in his principles to cowardly agree to other people's demands.
- Set goals for yourself. It is necessary to throw all your strength into realizing what you have planned, and not to float weakly with the flow, thinking that everything will fall from heaven on its own.
- Be extraordinary. A person who is not thirsty for adventure and does not take risks is boring, which means he will not be able to surprise others.
- Replenish your knowledge base. To maintain a conversation on any topic, you need to constantly expand your horizons. Books, newspapers, and visiting exhibitions and museums will help you cope with this task.
- Be a good listener. How to please your interlocutor? You need to listen to him carefully, periodically asking questions and showing interest in his life.
- Be sincere. In the modern world of hypocrisy and falsehood, people are subconsciously drawn to those who are open and do not wear a mask.
Although “charisma” is translated from ancient Greek as “God’s gift,” this set of personal characteristics is not innate. Since it is associated with internal psychological qualities and external, behavioral skills, a person can and should train it.
