Sincere feelings - what is sincerity in a relationship?

Are there sincere feelings in the modern world and how to recognize them? A person acquires various experiences throughout his life. Not always positive and often painful experiences in relationships form “armor” and sincerity to show “like death.” But there are people who, having experienced a lot, have not lost the ability to sincerely express their feelings.

What does sincerity mean?

Sincere feelings are a genuine, natural manifestation of emotions born in a person. The concept of sincerity is based on the word “spark”. A feeling originates as a spark, and immediately manifests itself in the outside world, consistent with the behavior, facial expressions and internal state of a person at the moment of demonstrating a sincere feeling. Sincerity implies:

• manifestation of feelings in a “pure”, unveiled form: joy, sadness, anger, anger, envy;
• human openness;
• honesty;
• clarity of thoughts;
• sincere attitude not only towards other people, but also towards yourself.

What are people afraid of in relationships?

To the basic question of what people are afraid of in relationships, besides those listed about cheating, disappearance, betrayal, the end of an affair and warmth of feelings, the majority said that all this is nothing compared to being single.

Often relationships end quite quickly, because they did not carry any meaning or depth, sometimes implying only short-term sexual overtones. Sometimes this suits both parties. Sometimes it remains just a pleasant flash throughout life and is literally erased into dust when a new object appears.

But sometimes such situations leave deep scars in the souls and hearts of people, forcing them to doubt the sincerity of the words spoken about love and tenderness. Women, as more delicately constructed creatures, suffer more often and more acutely in such situations. It is this fear of loneliness and the unquenchable thirst for love that makes you trust what is said and walk hand in hand with that person who in the future often causes acute unbearable pain.

Psychology of sincerity

The phenomenon of sincerity in psychology is studied by social psychologists. Sincerity is formed in childhood. A small child does not yet fully understand what his parents require or want from him, but he unmistakably distinguishes the emotional state of his mother and father. Expression clearly manifests itself through facial expressions, gestures, and voice intonation. The mother scolds the child, speaks in an angry voice, but he sees that the face is not angry, which means she is swearing “insincerely”, in make-believe. A person’s sincerity can be read through non-verbal manifestations:

• symmetrical display of emotions on the right and left sides of the face;
• during a conversation, an interested glance towards the interlocutor;
• free coordinated gestures.

Sincerity and honesty - the difference

The concepts of “sincerity” and “honesty” are often considered synonymous; they are similar, but not the same. What is the difference between sincerity and honesty?

1. Sincerity
   is an emotional phenomenon expressed in a direct manifestation of feelings that is not analyzed by a person: the emotion originated inside and immediately manifested itself in the outside world.
2. Honesty
   is a moral and social phenomenon, comes from “honor”, ​​“respect”, “honor”. Honest people are generally respected in society. Honesty is related to a person's actions.
3. Sincerity
   is the consistency of speech with external manifestations (congruence).
4. Honesty
   – includes sincerity and truthfulness based on moral values.

Sincerity - is it needed now?

Sincerity is a character trait, and for people who grew up in a family where any manifestation of feelings was encouraged, it is difficult to restrain themselves emotionally. Such people have a difficult time in society, because sincerity implies the broadcast of both positive and negative emotions. Sincerity is considered a quality of a mature personality, ready to resist ridicule, slander and remain oneself. Sincere feelings will always be in demand because:

1. A sincere attitude is important for any person, even those who are insincere themselves.
2. In the family, sincerity is an indicator of trust and mature relationships between spouses;
3. In the development of a child, sincere emotions and feelings are a necessary element in raising a harmonious personality.

Frankness Frank

Excessive frankness only brings trouble.

Louis-Ferdinand Celine. Death on credit

Frankness as a personality quality is the tendency in interpersonal communication not to hide one’s thoughts, to communicate about private, intimate, usually hidden aspects of one’s life, to reveal to others
one’s innermost inner world, hidden from outsiders.
Two men are talking. “You know,” says one, “I now have five women at the same time.” I'm so tired of this, but it's hard for me to choose one, no matter how hard I try, I can't. How should I resolve this issue? “Sort it out with revelation,” advises a friend. - How is this a revelation? - And so: feel absolutely free, and tell everyone everything about everyone else. - But how will this help? - Try it. They meet in six months. - Hello. Did you take my advice? - Good advice. Thank you. When I became frank, two of my women immediately refused to meet with me. Well, okay, I decided. It was, one might say, a rough screening. Three women remained. And this is where the fun began. I very soon discovered that I couldn’t be equally frank with everyone. I could tell one everything, the other half, and the third nothing at all. At the same time, I could tell everything about one, but I couldn’t dare talk about the other. It ended with me discovering that I could tell everything alone, but I didn’t want to be frank about her with anyone. “That’s what you still have,” a friend suggested. - Exactly. It's interesting that this simple method works so well. “It works because revelation is an indicator of feeling. It very quickly weeds out people we don’t need. And in all cases of life. I always break up with someone I can't be honest with and end up attached to someone I can't chat about.

Frankness is a confessional desire to remove a burden from the heart. When it is manifested in accordance with reason, it is regarded as honesty and a sign of trust. Frankness does not always involve close relations between the confessor and his confidant. Fellow travelers on trains can reveal such secret things about themselves that those closest to them could never even dream of. Casual acquaintances are often entrusted with such painful questions of life that in ordinary circumstances one would like to hide and make secret. In short, anonymity generates frankness.

It would not occur to most people to reveal their weaknesses to a person they know well, because experience tells us that if you open your heart to someone under the influence of a moment, you will regret it later. Knowing that another knows about your weakness is extremely unpleasant. The Bible says, “Do not open your heart to every man, lest he reward you ill.”

Frankness is a leap beyond the boundaries of ordinary everyday relationships. When it is mutual, it’s wonderful, when it’s one-sided, it’s not entirely good. Excessive frankness is a violation of etiquette. In contrast to sincerity - the tendency to express genuine feelings and purity of intentions, frankness can concern not only one’s counterpart; it is not so easy and pleasant in terms of emotional state. If sincerity is aimed, as a rule, at the future, frankness is usually shared with other people, either about past actions and one’s choice, or about the current state of mind. Sincerity is the frankness of the soul. And frankness, as V. Klyuchevsky said, can often be “a bad habit of thinking out loud.” Sincerity thinks not only about itself, while frankness often crushes everything indiscriminately.

A patient came to a novice doctor and said: “I’m burping and my stomach is grumbling.” The doctor replied: “The stomach is rumbling from gases - food is poorly digested; As for belching, I haven’t had time to read about it yet and I don’t know why it happens.

Frankness can become an object for manipulation and at the same time itself be a tool for manipulating other people. Psychologist Victoria Schmidt writes: “Frankness pleases vanity: once you trust a person with a secret, the initiate feels much more significant and important than before. And let’s note: you don’t need to waste any mental strength, money, or time to give someone else a chance to feel better. This technique of frankness as trust is well mastered by many bosses. They save a lot of money by devoting their subordinates to certain plans, and sometimes, under the guise of such trust, they receive full-fledged consultations and advice for free. The subordinate is blessed with trust; with such a good attitude from his superiors, is it really possible to ask for a salary increase or leave? Revelations hook the naive, provoking responses. “How they trust me, that they tell me such things - now I have to...”. Often a naive person begins to do exactly what his partner instructs him to do, for example, to be sorry and not burden him with his problems, to always get into a position, and so on.”

Lovelaces often use this technique: they “frankly” tell what a supposedly bitchy wife they got, how hard their life is. The franker wants to make the woman feel pity and gently direct the acquaintance to the consolation of the unfortunate sufferer.

Frankness is a feminine personality trait. A woman is emotional by nature, her mind is restless and anxious. She needs emotional protection from a man. Without frankness with your husband, you will not get protection. A woman calms down when she openly tells her husband about all the events of the past day, about her worries and experiences. If frankness is a rule in a family, this is a sign of a prosperous family. As soon as a lover appears, the wife immediately ceases to be frank with her husband, even in everyday matters. Secretiveness and tension appear in the relationship, even if the husband does not suspect anything yet.

Frankness sometimes gives rise to moral and psychological tension, because the whole comprehensive truth about him is mercilessly thrown into the eyes of another person, and he, poor fellow, is not ready to accept it. Excessive frankness turns into rashness. Stupid and unworthy is the frankness that only reflects, like a mirror, the chaotic flow of our thoughts.

True candor is sharing something that has been carefully thought out and suffered through. Exposing to others the chatter of your restless mind is not frankness, but stupidity. Francis Bacon also said: “He who loves to speak frankly with his friends eats his own soul.” The chatterbox does not speak out, he is simply the postman of his chaotic thoughts. Unlike frankness, which speaks of what has been thought out, a chatterbox rattles off about everything that has just visited his unbridled mind.

Frankness wants to tell in a confessional form about his complexes, weaknesses, hidden vices. Sometimes it is a consequence of the desire to get good advice regarding a particular intimate situation. Often, frankness manifests itself in combination with stupidity, bad manners and tactlessness. For example, in a large gathering of strangers, when the confessor feels his impunity, he begins to make frank assessments of the other person’s personality traits. No one will like such a psychological striptease in relation to themselves. The antagonist of frankness is secrecy.

Petr Kovalev Other articles by the author: https://www.podskazki.info/karta-stat ej/

How to test a man for the sincerity of his feelings?

What girl or woman does not dream of mutual feelings with her partner? The degree of sincerity on the part of a man is not always clear, since the stronger sex shows any feelings in measured doses, because by nature a man is “supposed” to be restrained. The sincerity of a partner’s feelings can be recognized by the following criteria:

• a man’s words do not disagree with his actions and actions;
• he likes to take care of the woman he loves;
• in difficult times, he sincerely empathizes and tries to reduce the discomfort of his partner;
• spending time together is important to him;
• gives gifts;
• ready to do anything for the sake of his beloved;
• jealousy within reasonable limits can also be an indicator of sincere feelings.

How to test a woman for the sincerity of her feelings?

Honesty and sincerity are the key to a trusting and successful relationship between a man and a woman. What is sincerity in a relationship, it can be more difficult for the stronger sex to understand whether the beloved is sincere with him or is pretending because of his own selfish goals. Some men, trying to figure this out, go to extremes and begin to watch their girlfriend’s every move. Sincere feelings on the part of the weaker sex are manifested as follows:

• the warmth with which a woman communicates with her lover;
• she gives her feelings without demanding anything in return;
• is sensitive to a man’s flirting with other women;
• sees more positive qualities in a man, and accepts shortcomings as they are;
• devotes a lot of time to appearance in order to be attractive to him;
• is interested with genuine interest in the life of a loved one;
• shares both joy and sadness with his partner.

Express your personal opinion when asked

Sometimes it's easier to agree with everyone, but by doing so we do a disservice to both those around us and ourselves. Agreeing to avoid confrontation deprives both parties of honest and effective communication. When you are asked to give your opinion regarding a movie, song, or work issue, try to answer honestly. If you disagree with another person's position, be polite and respectful, but don't be afraid to voice your point of view.

You offer your opinion as an alternative option, rather than trying to argue or attack someone. In most cases, a person will react adequately; he will be interested in listening to you and learning another point of view. This will make your communication more interesting and will give each of you the opportunity to learn and grow.

It is important to note that sincerity must be shown when you are asked to express your opinion. This is not the same as expressing your attitude to any things whenever you want. There is a time and place that is ideal for speaking your mind. Not every person and situation predisposes to this.

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How to recognize the sincerity of a friend?

Friendship is, first of all, sincerity, as women believe. The very concept of female friendship is very energy-intensive. Women are vulnerable and emotional creatures and in many aspects they are rather rivals to each other: who is more beautiful, more successful, or who is more popular with men. True, sincere friendship between women is of great value and is a gift that should be cherished. Manifestations of a friend's sincerity:

• keeps all secrets and secrets discussed;
• she can “cry into her vest”;
• respects the interests and moral values ​​of a friend;
• sincerely rejoices at successes and is sad when failures follow;
• doesn't flirt with her friends' boyfriends;
• always appropriately expresses a critical opinion if a positive outcome of the situation depends on it;
• understands without words;
• knows how to forgive.

How to develop sincerity?

How to learn sincerity and is it really possible to develop this quality in yourself? Psychologists say that, like any skill, sincerity can be developed through practical actions:

1. Communication with sincere people
   . If you pay attention, such people seem to be surrounded by special energy and charisma; others are drawn to them. An insincere person does not attract such attention.
2. Reading relevant psychological literature
   . It is useful because tasks are given step by step to improve the skill of sincerity.
3. Getting rid of complexes
   . Often indecisiveness, timidity and shyness prevent one from being sincere with others; any step towards sincerity causes painful thoughts about one’s imperfection and the fear of “what will they think of me?”
4. Openness
   . If the environment inspires trust, why not try to open up, show your kindness, warmth and concern even to strangers. This is the only way a person can gain the experience of sincere self-expression.
5. Working with speech
   . Cold intonations in the voice can be signs of insincerity or indifference.

Be willing to take responsibility when necessary

We feel bad when we make mistakes or make poor judgments, but as adults we should be able to handle it. You should not blame someone or circumstances, as this will not help solve the problem or improve the situation. Taking responsibility for our actions strengthens relationships because when we live with integrity, we can see other people's true emotions, testing how they truly feel about us. Admitting that we have made a mistake is an important step towards improving our personality traits.

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Who can trust you if you constantly place blame on others? Accepting responsibility enables other people to behave in their most authentic way. When they see that you are not afraid to accept the consequences of your actions, they will feel more comfortable and more likely to take responsibility if they make a mistake themselves. This helps to form stronger relationships between people who care about each other, because they know that they may make a mistake, but will receive support and a chance to correct the situation without the threat of breaking up the relationship.