Hello, dear readers! Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Much more often, couples break up on the initiative of one of the partners, and the feelings of the abandoned party are not always stronger. Therefore, the answer to the question of how long a girl begins to get bored after a breakup should be decided on an individual basis. The determination of the period will be affected by the reason for the breakup, actions during and after the discord, the duration of the union, the presence of common property, children, etc. There is no single formula, but love coaches have developed a behavioral strategy. Guided by it, you can avoid sudden mistakes, return the attention of your beloved, and fall in love again.
Multiple studies in the field of personal relationships have made it possible to identify common behavioral signs that determine the presence of feelings in the other half and the desire to return. In this blog article we will raise the complex topic of female psychology in order to determine the type of beloved, to find out what is hidden behind the external indifference. But first, it’s worth understanding the reason for the desire to renew the relationship:
- wounded pride - in the role of an “abandoned woman” it is unpleasant, especially for an alpha male, but making this a motivating factor for the return of a partner is obviously a failed strategy;
- remaining feelings - true love does not care about the timing, a man in love will fight for love, so if the question of time for the revival of her affection is at the forefront, you should not start a fight;
- habit - being together for a long time, it is difficult to adapt to an independent life, when the family collapses, many return only so as not to waste energy on a new person.
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How to understand if a girl is going through a breakup if she left
The girl left you.
And you are very worried. You feel bad, you get drunk, and you tell your friends what a bitch she is. And you hope that at this very moment, on the other side of the city, your girlfriend (ex-girlfriend) is going through a breakup in the same way. But the question is: is he worried? A woman is a complete bundle of emotions. Did you know that even when she's in a perfect relationship, she still has "cry moments"? That’s the way they are designed, that they make “food” for emotions out of everything.
As for the breakup and how she handles it, first you need to understand the three types of girls.
Depressed
From one extreme to another. If the previous type of women does not worry about breakups at all, then depressed ladies are an explosion of emotions and despair. Even if the breakup occurred on the initiative of such a girl, there will be more drama than in Turkish TV series.
At first she will proudly leave, then complain to her friends, then drunken karaoke songs, and then rivers of tears and resentment. Years will pass, but the girl will remember your story to the sound of whiny music. This story will last until a new gentleman and new emotions appear.
Statistical data
It’s good that researchers took up the question of whether a girl experiences a breakup if she left. Now we have not just words, but statistics.
After surveying six thousand people, scientists came to the conclusion that women experience a breakup very hard and it does not depend on who initiated it. But at the same time, after a certain time, they recover better and become emotionally stronger than men.
If a guy can cool off towards his ex-lover in a short period of time, then a girl can engage in emotional self-criticism for years.
There are a lot of reasons for breaking up, but usually after this women feel not resentment and anger, but a feeling of guilt. Yes, yes, it was guilt, especially if she left. There is a real study of yourself and your behavior. And if it’s raining outside, then be sure that she is sad, imagining your reunion. During this period, many girls return to their boyfriends because “how is he doing without me?”
Women feel responsible for the emotional component in a couple, so they consider a breakup to be their omission and shortcoming. But suffering for an ex-girlfriend is not courageous, so guys immediately look for ways to distract themselves so as not to show their weakness.
Answering your question “Is the girl going through a breakup?”, I will say: “Yes!” If it is adequate, of course. A woman can hide her feelings in public, on the contrary, she will show that she is much better, that she made the right choice by breaking up with you. But she will not be able to avoid long night thoughts. This condition can last for years.
What to do?
So how do you find out what awaits you in communicating with your ex-girlfriend and whether your love has a chance for a reunion? Catch a universal strategy that will be useful under any circumstances:
- Talk to her as much as she talks to you. Don't write significantly more or less. Initiate your conversations 50/50.
- If she flirts, flirt back, but don't go overboard. In general, mirror her behavior.
- Then there are two ways - winning extra time and time-out. In the first case, you communicate with her in the same way as she communicates with you, without inviting her to get together and without bringing her into conversation. Over time, if her behavior is caused by real feelings, she will definitely let you know about it. The second option is to set a date (say, a month) and, after the deadline has passed, raise the issue head-on, talking to her frankly about her motives.
Should you get back to your ex-girlfriend? The issue is controversial and causes heated discussions no less than the topics of religion or money. Some say that you shouldn’t lose your true love, even if you happen to break up. Others say that you cannot step into the same river twice. We know one thing: each case is individual, and only you can know whether your ex still loves you or is just using you. So open your eyes and analyze everything carefully. Let our article help you with this!
How to ruin your life after a breakup
Continue to be together
This is an obvious mistake, but your brain may mask it behind an excuse like hanging out with friends. And now you are already having lunch with mutual friends or just the two of you, going to the movies, meeting at a bar, having get-togethers at home.
This only intensifies your emotional attachment to your ex-partner.
Plus, you're putting yourself through absolute hell while simultaneously trying to accept that the relationship no longer exists and getting drunk with happiness when you hug him or her goodbye.
Thinking that you are true soul mates
Continuing to believe that you are the only person who can understand your ex-partner only fuels the illusion. And all the nightly heart-to-heart conversations drag you deeper into the quagmire of the past. Don't forget that despite all the intimacy, both or one of you chose to end the relationship.
Write to him or her about everything. And as often as possible
Text your ex to see how they are doing. Write to tell them you got the job. Be sure to tell him that you still consider him a friend. And be sure to write again if previous messages remained unanswered - what if he simply didn’t notice them? This is a great way to be in a state of perpetual anticipation and not move on.
Stalking ex-partner
We are talking, firstly, about literal stalking, when you find out the location of your ex-partner by hook or by crook and, as if by chance, run into him in a bar. This is a warning sign: it smacks of addiction.
The same applies to the endless checking of his social networks. Who did he add as friends, what does he do, what does he write about? You hope that this person is still suffering, but he, quite possibly, has already recovered from the breakup or even entered into a new relationship.
Unless you're a masochist, stop following your ex's life. At least for a while, until the first pain subsides.
Talking bad about your ex-partner
Every time you remember your ex, even if not in the kindest terms, it seems to materialize in the present. And the more you talk about him (good and bad), the more diligently you invite him back into your life.
Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Your goal should be neutrality.
Return items in person
There is no need to look for unnecessary excuses for meetings when the decision to break up has already been made. Even if you need to return his or her things and pick up yours, you can always ask friends for help or order a courier. And some things can be thrown away altogether: an old toothbrush is unlikely to be of particular value to anyone.
Switch to a relationship with a friend
Compensatory relationships do not lead to good things. But it’s even worse if, immediately after a breakup, you try to console your broken heart with an old boyfriend or girlfriend. As a result, he or she will be hurt and you will be ashamed.
If you “suddenly” notice how sweet and charming your friend is, slow down. So as not to lose him.
Dreaming about your ex-partner
Often imagine how he suffers or how he hatches a plan to get you back. And, of course, do not think that now he may be relaxing with his friends and enjoying life. Such fixation will help you endure the breakup for a long time and painfully.
Constantly thinking "what if"
A story similar to the previous one. You again become fixated on your ex-partner and torment yourself with ethereal illusions. But what if you are destined to be together? What if not?
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To start a new relationship, you need to deal with the old ones. If you rush headlong into looking for a new partner, then most likely:
- you will begin to compare everyone with the previous one and suffer even more about him;
- enter into the wrong relationship with the wrong person and ruin the blood of him and yourself;
- If you fail to learn from past experiences, you will make the same mistakes.
Sleep with someone
Another great way to remember how good you had with your loved one. Or feel like a traitor when feelings for your ex are still strong.
Most likely bad, but not necessarily
In the first situation, the girl goes nowhere. When breaking up, she, just like you, experiences a lot of emotions, doubts, and stress. It is quite possible that she will try to start a new relationship, but it is unlikely to be long-lasting or successful. It is extremely likely that you will simply have sex with other guys - this is quite normal behavior in a situation after a breakup. In any case, you shouldn't think about it, just accept it as a fact and don't expect her to remain chaste.
In the second case, she immediately leaves for someone else. This means that while still in the relationship, she communicated with him and may have cheated on you. But you need to understand that this situation is most unfavorable not for you, but for her and her new boyfriend. It is unlikely that they will build something serious on the ruins of your relationship. In addition, they both acted badly from a moral point of view, which means that both he and she can betray each other.
I understand that imagining both of these situations can be painful, but it is better to initially imagine that everything is exactly like this and stop following her future life than to hope that the breakup is just a misunderstanding and your ex will return without having any connections after you.
How to improve your life after a breakup
Avoid talking or meeting with your ex-partner for at least two months
This means that you need to protect yourself as much as possible from accidental collisions.
If you are likely to cross paths on your way to work, change your route. If you can meet at a store or gym, find a new place to shop and exercise.
The same goes for messages and calls. It’s better to temporarily block your ex-partner on social networks or delete his number from your phone than to constantly see him online or in your contacts.
It sounds a little unfair, because you have to give up something. But it's for your own good.
Play some sports
Firstly, physical activity releases happiness hormones, which are so necessary for your condition. Secondly, sports will relieve your head and help relieve tension.
Reorganize your life
The end of one stage is the beginning of a new one. So with the end of a relationship, you have a chance to change something in your life. You can start with the closet. Just take it apart and throw away all unnecessary items. Or use your imagination and come up with a new use for them. Finding a new hobby or hobby won’t hurt either.
Meet your friends
You finally have plenty of time to meet up with your favorite friends. Use it!
Don't look for salvation at the bottom of the bottle
Or at the bottom of a bucket of ice cream. Attempts to drown out the pain with alcohol and food lead to the opposite effect, you feel even worse.
Better do something really pleasant and useful for yourself. Go to a massage, spa, beauty salon or bathhouse. Just relax, because you deserve it.
What do you think can and cannot be done after a breakup? Share your opinion in the comments.
How to behave in order to part with a loved one in a civilized manner?
- It is advisable to take sedatives on days of depression;
- do not humiliate yourself - do not call or write to your ex. If he refuses to meet, the state of despair will only intensify;
- set the main goal for yourself - to forget the one who left you! Remove all his photos, Internet pages, phone number from sight;
- feel sorry for yourself and loved ones who worry about you;
- do what you love, fill your head with all sorts of nonsense, just don’t think about the past;
- pamper yourself in everything and refuse nothing;
- try to fall in love again.
I am sure that you should part easily, not worry and leave without looking back. Analyze mistakes and start a new life. You can trust me, I got divorced three times.
I believe you . I only got divorced once. But I didn't regret it. After several years. I met someone else and fell in love. Now we are separated. And I feel bad. But I understand that life goes on. And we must live for our son. And relatives. There is work . House, etc. That time will pass and everything will be forgotten. But how difficult it is.
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How to get a girl back after a breakup if she doesn’t want a relationship or communication
No matter how strong and brutal a man is, even he has a weakness - his beloved girl. Only memories of the one for whom you had real feelings do not leave your head after a breakup and cause pain. As a result, the question arises of how to get a girl back after a breakup if she doesn’t want a relationship.
Not everyone is ready to come to terms with the passing of a loved one.
Life stages during separation
The psychology of men identifies a number of life stages that everyone goes through after a breakup. The end of a long-term relationship is a terrible life experience to go through. It contains 5 stages. During these five stages, a man experiences a breakup much harder and more painfully, unlike a girl. They simply hide their experiences and emotions under the guise of indifference.
How to throw a person out of your heart and head: 9 tips from a psychologist
Stage one: denial
Not a single girl understands how a guy feels at the moment of separation. At the very beginning, he cannot and does not want to believe what is happening. Separation seems like an illusion, a bad dream. This dream will end sooner or later. Constant thoughts about the girl torment his soul every day. Expects changes in his relationship with her for the better. But nothing changes.
Stage two: anger
The moment you realize that separation is inevitable, despair ends and anger begins. He cannot come to terms with the fact that someone else was found instead of him. There was no fight for himself. Anger, anger, despair, negative feelings due to the fact that the relationship cannot be returned. He tries to avoid memories of the girl. Flies into a rage the moment her name is mentioned anywhere.
Stage three: bargaining
The stage of accepting the breakup and analyzing the situation has arrived. There is a war going on in his head between his heart and common sense. Should you try to win back your ex-love or start looking for a new lady of your heart? The mood is constantly changing and at the moment of change, sometimes the second or third stage begins.
Stage four: depression
The man understands that he cannot return his past relationship and new relationships do not work out. He experiences melancholy, accompanied by apathy. A terrible depression that destroys all activity of a guy, completely plunging him into self-examination. Under the influence of such a period, he may become an alcoholic and start using drugs. Remembering the pleasant moments of past relationships, he has a desire to exclude communication with anyone. He wants to close himself off, immersing himself in sad memories.
Stage five: new life
Upon completion of all stages, the guy gradually comes to his senses. Realizing that life did not end there. The melancholy ends and relief appears. He stops overreacting to things that remind him of his former relationship. Fully ready to find true, new love.
Breaking up is not a pleasant and difficult period of time for every person. It can be experienced just like anything else. When you can't get your past relationship back, cast aside your doubts and enter your new life with confidence. Share your opinion. How do you think the periods between a man and a woman differ when their relationship ends? Write your opinion in the comments.
Is it possible to get a girl back after a breakup?
It is impossible to say in advance what the chances of success are here. Much depends on the reasons for the breakup. Even if the woman you love is now dating someone else, this does not mean that there is not a single chance to make her want to come back. However, you need to be prepared for the fact that no actions will help revive old feelings. However, if a man does not make the slightest attempt to restore the relationship, because he is simply afraid to waste his time and energy, then he is unlikely to be worthy of the love of his chosen one.
Additional Information. According to statistics, about half of all couples get back together after a breakup.
Types of breaks
How do men behave after a breakup? How will the separation go, easily or with a heavy burden on your heart? Depends on the environment and situation in which the couple lives. Some relationships end logically. Others inflict mental wounds that may not heal for the rest of their lives.
