How to make yourself respected: why does no one respect me and how to achieve respect?

Adviсe

Respect as a feeling and need
Self-esteem
How to gain the respect of others
Behavior that deserves respect

Respect is the attitude of one person towards another, which involves recognition of merits, merits, and unique personality traits.

To be respected is one of the human needs, which includes respect for the individual by people around him, respect for people, mutual respect, and self-respect.

How does disrespect manifest itself?

How to understand that you are not respected?

Lack of respect can look different, as can its causes.

A disdainful attitude towards your personality can be caused by both objective factors, that is, your negative actions, and subjective ones, when a person has formed an opinion about you based on other people’s reviews or because he is jealous.

Also, respect can be frankly open, expressed directly: in words, actions, gestures.

Or it can be hidden, when a person is looking for benefits, and therefore does not want to show disdain openly.

The most common signs :

Open hostility. The easiest way to state the fact of disrespect. They interrupt you and go into conflict when trying to find out the reasons for such behavior. During a conversation, they do not listen, switching to other people or going about their own business.
Constant criticism. Remarks that do not relate to specific actions. Most often, a person simply has a negative attitude towards you and does not analyze actions, their causes and consequences. He doesn’t care whether you did the right thing, since the only motive for his attack is to stroke his pride.
Gesticulation . Varies depending on the type of disrespect. Hidden gestures, inattention, an empty, distracted gaze, “sticking” to a smartphone during your speech. Open, demonstrative ridicule, head shaking.
Disputes and denial of objective rightness. When you express a point of view, supported by real facts or experiences, and in response you hear that this is nonsense, nonsense, nonsense. They don’t take your opinion into account, they argue, they try to sabotage decisions already made. In fact, there is open opposition to your authority.
Your time is not valued. This is expressed in a wide range of actions. People are late for pre-arranged meetings or are in no hurry to show up. When they try to overwhelm you with other people’s affairs, believing that you have nothing better to do than rush to solve the problems of others.
Time, the central, main resource of every person, and a free, easy attitude towards your affairs is a clear sign of disrespect.
In other cases, it is a marker of an irresponsible, superficial infantile who does not value either his own time or that of others.
They don't give you favors for favors. Let’s say that in the not-too-distant past you helped a person solve a problem that was important to him. But now, turning to him for help, you are refused. At the same time, the interlocutor does not name any important, serious reasons for refusing you. However, this can also be expressed in small matters. Such situations are a reason to wonder if you are being taken advantage of. This is a manifestation of hidden disrespect.
Lack of live contact. If a loved one regularly refuses, reschedule the meeting, citing factors that are weak for refusal. The main criterion is the frequency of failures in a row. This suggests that your company is not so important for a person and he considers other types of leisure more interesting. This also includes situations when you are part of a group that gathers without you. That is, you are not notified in any way about the meeting, and if you are caught in such a situation, strange phrases are given in the spirit of “We forgot to call you,” or “We thought you were very busy.”
Offensive jokes. Poking fun at you is a hidden, passive act of disrespect. Especially if you have already said that such an attitude hurts you.

Reasons why others don't respect us

You began to notice that your reputation among your friends has noticeably dropped. Why does this happen and what is to blame? It is very rare for everyone around to feel disdain for an individual.

But if this does happen, there is no time to waste and it is worth understanding what was to blame. Perhaps you are surrounded by extremely rude and insensitive people, but it may also be that you yourself did something unacceptable, which led to such a deplorable situation.

But if you try and find the reason for other people’s disrespect, then it is definitely worth mentioning the following main factors that influence the attitude of others:

Low self-esteem. No matter how people consider themselves the crown of evolution, animal instincts still make themselves felt. And among them we can mention such as the desire to show one’s own strength at the expense of weaker individuals. To put it simply, stronger animals always slaughter insignificant and useless representatives of the animal world. Start respecting and appreciating yourself, and only then will you be able to see that the opinions of others about you will noticeably improve. No one will ever respect a person who fawns and humiliates himself in front of others - remember this!
Disrespect on your part. Do you expect people to value and respect you as a person? How do you behave towards them? Do you show appreciation for the services provided, do you show how much you appreciate your friends and acquaintances for their help and support? If you look at your acquaintances and colleagues with poorly concealed disdain, or even outright contempt, then do not think that people will not notice it. No person will strive for someone who himself does not show an ounce of respect.

Important

The reason for disrespect can also be banal human stupidity. Do not limit yourself in development and knowledge, and then people themselves will be drawn to you.

Causes

Why doesn't anyone respect me? If no one respects you, things are bad. Because such cases are very rare .

This means that either everyone around you is not very intelligent, rude, insensitive people, or you are behaving inappropriately.

But more often than not, such a question is the result of an illusion . It probably seems to you that everyone around you is looking askance and is only busy making plans to hurt you.

Pay attention, take a closer look at your surroundings. Perhaps there are people who treat you with warmth.

Rule five. Don't flatter your boss

To win the favor of the boss, some employees begin to flatter or fawn, forgetting about their own dignity and self-respect. But such obsequious behavior causes a completely opposite reaction and leads to disrespect or even contempt from management and hostility from colleagues.

Conversation with the boss. What shouldn't you say to your boss? More details

What to do?

First of all, you need to understand yourself and your environment.

The reasons may be either your personal shortcomings or the wrong choice of the people around you.

Sometimes it is impossible to change the attitude of a loved one, and all that remains is to make one of two decisions, either endure his attacks against you, or remove the person from your life .

The first option is reasonable only in extreme cases, when parents or blood brothers/sisters show neglect. And even then, it’s better to have less contact with them, since constant criticism and scandals can lower the self-esteem of even an exceptionally confident person.

If you are the reason, below you will find tips for changing behavior. By acquiring and cultivating the necessary habits, you can be respected in any society , wherever you find yourself.

If the negativity comes through no fault of yours, distance yourself from toxic people; here, any attempts you make to improve relationships will be useless.

Help those behind you, but not too much

Good leaders help others succeed. But a leader who pays too much attention to laggards at the expense of the group's success risks quickly losing respect. Know when to support weak players and when to part with them if they are clearly hindering the achievement of results.

Too many people in leadership positions today do not consider their impact on others. They can stay in their positions as long as they perform well. Ultimately, your personal contributions as a leader will not be documented, but you can serve as an excellent example for those who want to develop.

First publication: 2012-11-27

How to make yourself respected?

How to behave so that people respect you?

Here are helpful tips for changing your thinking and habits .

They will help make your character stronger and also win people over.

These are universal rules that work regardless of the situation. Wherever you find yourself, at work, at school, at a party or social gathering, these principles will apply:

Always keep your word. A person who values his time will not promise in vain.
If you throw around words, ultimately helping no one, you will not be trusted, and, therefore, respected. This rule concerns social responsibility, when your word is the guarantor of the work done.
Talk less. Advice also related to the weight of the word. But in the context of ordinary conversation. If in a conversation you chatter restlessly, go on long tirades and talk about unimportant things, you will be considered a superficial idle talker. Be clear, concise and to the point. Lacissitude, a trait of direct and purposeful people who are not distracted by lengthy discussions about anything.
Talk only about what you understand. Another item from the verbal communication category. You must be confident in your words, be able to argue, and prove your point of view if something happens. Therefore, you should not discuss, let alone advise, things in which you are not savvy.
Treat others with respect. If you shout, find fault, ridicule others, where does respect come from? When you accept a person’s boundaries, communicate with him in an even, calm tone, value his time, he, if not stupid or childish, will respond in kind.
Cover your weaknesses with your strengths. There is no need to expose weaknesses, much less talk about them. Pump up your positive character traits, and they will cover up your bad traits.
Don't whine or cry. Of course, negative emotions must be given vent.
Crying into a pillow is an acceptable procedure even for a man, but only when alone and while no one is watching. Whining and talking about how bad the world is has a negative impact on your reputation. And it’s not very pleasant to communicate with a person who complains about life around the clock, instead of solving problems.

Rule two. Showcase your business skills

To earn your boss's respect, you need to show that you have business acumen. These include not only professional knowledge and work experience, but also labor discipline. Make it a rule to not be late for work, to be conscientious in your professional responsibilities, to submit all reports on time, to maintain normal business relationships with all colleagues, to respect yourself and others, and to do things that give you self-respect. You must learn to realistically assess your capabilities and only take on work that you can handle. This will avoid the manager's dissatisfaction if the task is not completed on time.

The boss is a tyrant. How to avoid becoming a victim of the arbitrariness of managers Read more

Advice from psychologists: how to achieve respect?

The following list of rules is tied to the specific situation, the circumstances in which you find yourself. Relationships in the work environment and in interpersonal communication are different, so advice is given in the context of the communication format:

A team

How to gain respect from your colleagues:

Showcase your professionalism . Respect is acquired through knowledge of the matter and the highest quality performance of job duties. If you have a detailed understanding of your craft, you will be valued by your peers and superiors.
Set boundaries on time. If you don't like something, say it right away.
It seems difficult to accomplish, but the whole point is the fear of conflict. The fear that you will be considered an aggressive and quarrelsome person is an irrational fear. If you feel like your rights are being undermined or neglected, don't put off having an important conversation. Otherwise, avoiding the conflict, conformism, will be perceived as weakness and colleagues will understand that such actions can be continued.

Chief

How to get your boss's respect:

Develop professionally. When you learn new things, independently show initiative in assignments, go to conferences or publish articles, in a word, show competence in the matter, the respect of your superiors grows.
Participate in company affairs . If you are already an accomplished expert in the craft and have extensive experience behind you, try to propose innovations in the company related to solving important current problems. This should be done carefully, in the form of advice. You shouldn’t rush with ideas and impose them.
Follow your boss's advice. If he is an intelligent, adequate person, ask how to do his job better, what is recommended to develop, what skills to acquire. After listening to your boss, take note of the information received and take the path of self-improvement.

Rule six. When communicating with your manager, strictly control your behavior

Remember that you can only criticize your boss in a one-on-one conversation, and you should praise or thank management only for specific things. In this case, criticism will be perceived as a business discussion, and gratitude will not be taken as flattery. If you want to convey your proposals or your position to your superiors, they need to be clearly justified and supported by facts. You can argue with the boss only at the stage of discussing the project, and when the manager has already made a decision and given an order to his subordinates, it is necessary to carry it out without any objections.

Nina Parmenova 01/20/2021, 10:56

Thanks for the great tips!

Answer

Inri Makovey 01/20/2021, 11:28

Very informative, thank you!

Answer

Andrey Kozlov 01/20/2021, 12:14

Thank you.

Answer

Elena Solomka 01/20/2021, 13:08

Thank you

Answer

Irina Fedurko 01/20/2021, 14:06

For the sake of the berries

Answer

Kostyantin Vereshchagin 01/20/2021, 14:46

And yet Vork is captain-obvious) As always

Answer

Nina Chernyavskaya 01/20/2021, 17:19

Clearly, clearly - thanks for the lesson))

Answer

Nikolay Levin 01/21/2021, 07:51

This is no longer a captain, but a general, it’s obvious

Answer

Natalia Kotsupal 01/21/2021, 10:35

Thank you for respect and importance

Answer

Don't talk bad about others

Regardless of what setting you are in: social or professional, speaking badly about others is a sign of a person who does not deserve respect. If you are unhappy with a person and what he does, then approach him personally and express your opinion. Never talk behind your back. This behavior only leads to gossip and negativity. This is a bad human quality. Plus it hurts the person you're talking about. Be honest and transparent in your communications.

Improve yourself

To make others respect you, educate yourself. Read interesting and useful books, learn foreign languages, do what you love, try to make every day bring you joy and bring something new into your life. You must become an interesting person, be able to speak competently and beautifully, and dress harmoniously and with dignity. Smile and always be in high spirits - people always respect those who feel good.
Never stop there, always strive for something more, but do not sacrifice others to achieve your goals. Find the “golden” mean between professional achievements and personal space. A person should always have a goal, something to go for, something to develop for - this makes you respect both yourself and achieve the respect of others.
Of course, respect others. Rejoice at their successes and, if necessary, give good advice. Know how to listen and hear another person. Never put yourself above others or tell yourself that you are better than everyone else. You are special, you are unique, but people don’t respect or like “stuffy people.” Behave with restraint and manners.
Know how to defend your opinion, supporting it with weighty arguments. This is one of the most important points to get people to respect you. Only a self-sufficient and self-confident person has his own strong opinion, which he can always explain logically.
Learn to fight back against bullies and rude people. Don’t allow them to play with you, don’t allow yourself to be humiliated, don’t allow them to speak to you in raised voices and uncivilized words. And behave yourself calmly and correctly.

Note to the manager

Everything we talked about above, of course, will help a manager who has just taken office and is striving to win the trust and respect of his subordinates. Professionalism, experience, and certain character traits will play a positive role in this.

But there are also some recommendations.

First

Immediately establish a certain distance between you and your colleagues. No particularly friendly relations with individuals. This will save you from familiarity and unnecessary conflicts. And, in addition, it will give you the right to ask your subordinates, reward and punish.

Second

Never raise your voice. Speak quietly. According to psychologists, people tend to listen to quiet speech. Psychologically unstable individuals resort to screaming.