Related article: Content of the concept of interpersonal relationships

Problems of interpersonal communication among young people are a serious layer in the development of relationship psychology. This topic is of public interest because it concerns patterns of human interaction. Every parent wants to see their child happy, but sometimes they don’t know what to do to foster self-sufficiency and don’t know how to fully understand them.

Modern communication among young people is most often based on the mutual exchange of emotions and impressions received over the coming days. Guys and girls give each other greetings and handshakes, not forgetting to share their feelings. It is worth paying attention to the mood of the participants. As a rule, the interaction of several teenagers with each other is of a purely emotional nature. Adolescence presupposes deeply intimate conversations about what is currently significant and of personal interest to all interlocutors. Teenagers are rarely particularly tactful, so in the process of their interaction with each other, disputes break out every now and then, and even quarrels occur.

Interpersonal communication among youth

Adolescence and young adulthood are a critical period in the process of interpersonal evolution. From the age of 14, the formation of interpersonal relationships begins, in which attitudes towards subjects of reality play a different role: to older people, to parents, to classmates, to teachers, to friends, to one’s own personality, to representatives of other religions and nationalities, to patients and drug addicts.

The psychological world of a teenager is often turned to inner life; the young man is often thoughtful and fantasizing. The same period is marked by intolerance, irritability, and a tendency to aggression. By the age of 16, the stage of self-knowledge and self-affirmation begins, which is noted in increased observation. Gradually, among young people, the degree of what is unacceptable, as well as what is not accepted, tends to increase. This comes from the fact that young people become very critical of reality.

Problems of interpersonal communication among young people manifest themselves in the form of conflicts among students, which destabilize the emotional background in the team, in the group. Often, conflicts and quarrels among young people occur due to inability or lack of compassion and unwillingness to respect others. Often protests occur due to a lack of education, as well as a violation of the culture of behavior. Often the protest is targeted, i.e. directed against the culprit of the conflict situation. As soon as the conflict is resolved, the young man calms down.

In order to avoid such situations, adults are advised to maintain a calm, polite tone in communication. You should refrain from making categorical judgments about a teenager, especially when it comes to issues of fashion and music.

Adults need to try to compromise, give in in an argument, avoiding the red rag syndrome. It is especially painful if the scandal is observed by the young man’s friends or peers, so adults should give in and not be sarcastic, because only good relationships contribute to the improvement of relationships.

Self confidence

Few teenagers are truly satisfied with their own achievements. There is still little knowledge about the wisdom of life, but I already want to express my position on any issue. This is why young men and women so value people who can listen and understand without interrupting or judging. As a rule, many people are not satisfied with external data, which is why numerous complexes appear.

The problem is often far-fetched, but the real suffering begins due to this. Self-confidence is something that is acquired through hard work on oneself. Of course, it cannot arise in one day. This is why there are so many conflicts among young people. Every young man with at least some ambition strives to demonstrate to others his strength and power.

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS

The division of interpersonal relationships into types is more specific. There are five main types of human connections, interpersonal relationships are:

Acquaintance. The first and most extensive type of interpersonal relationships. A very large number of people fall into this category. Even people who are familiar to you solely visually, with whom you have never entered into dialogue, belong to this type of relationship.
Friendly relations. This type is based on mutual affection and the mutual desire of people to maintain relationships, a desire to spend time together.
Companionship. All participants in this category are united by the presence of a common type of activity. People who maintain friendly contacts are united by a common goal, their communication is aimed at achieving it.
Friendly relations. In order to achieve them, you need to make a lot of effort and have certain personal qualities. Not all people are able to maintain friendly relations; many do not know friendship in any of its manifestations. This type of interpersonal relationship brings incredible benefits to a person, both emotionally and in the form of moral support and all kinds of assistance.
Love relationships (romance, passion). Just like friendship, love requires long and hard work to create a favorable background against which such relationships would harmoniously develop. Love is one of the most powerful motivations; it is a great driving force. However, not everyone can comprehend this feeling. And the point is not only in individual qualities, but also in the fact that you may not find a worthy partner.

It should be remembered that each person bears a certain degree of responsibility for any type of relationship: be it interpersonal relationships in the family, in love or friendship, or relationships with colleagues. The success of building relationships depends fifty percent on you; you are half responsible for the final result of communication with a person. This is especially true for such categories of relationships as love and friendship.

Youth slang

The use of slang in communication between teenagers is considered the norm today. The one who uses more harsh words tends to be very popular in the group. Youth slang has a strong expressive-negative connotation. People resort to using slang in order to quickly join a new team, gain the trust of classmates, and show their best side.

Also, the use of jargon in speech helps teenagers significantly save time in conversation and at the same time remain confident that all their surrounding peers will understand them correctly. Modern youth language is replete with critical words. As a rule, the use of slang among young men allows them to feel relaxed in a new company.

Two sides of interpersonal relationships

If social relationships are stable within one community or set of roles, then interpersonal relationships are fluid and amorphous. They take a long time to form, can be stable, or can change quickly. Do you know what happens in a women's team? Today you and I are best friends, and tomorrow you come in the same dress as me - and we will be enemies forever.

And most importantly, interpersonal relationships are very individual. No two pairs of people have the same relationship. Therefore, as psychologists say, there are no universal recipes for properly building these relationships. But they depend primarily on two factors: the nature of the interaction and emotional reactions.

Interpersonal relationships as interaction between people

Any social connections are, first of all, contacts, otherwise they cannot arise. Moreover, contacts are not one-time, but relatively permanent. This is especially true for interpersonal relationships, which are the result of human interaction. They are born and develop in the process of communication, it is then that partners recognize each other’s personal qualities, character traits, interests, preferences, etc. And they begin to feel sympathy or antipathy for each other. Any sufficiently long contacts necessarily lead to the emergence of one or another attitude towards the partner.

Interaction maintains interpersonal relationships. And if the need for joint activity disappears, as well as common interests and the need for each other, then interpersonal relationships gradually “die.” It is impossible to love a person if nothing connects you with him. Therefore, if you want to maintain a positive relationship with your partner, maintain mutual interest and create a basis for interaction - a common goal of activity.

The same can be said about hatred. No matter how much hostility one person may feel for another, if they do not intersect anywhere, then their feelings will quickly cool down, not to mention the relationship. It is impossible to hate a person with whom you have no contact for a long time.

The emotional side of interpersonal relationships

According to most leading social psychologists, the emotional side is the main one in interpersonal relationships. Moreover, most often this type of relationship arises precisely on the basis of feelings. Even if the interaction process is of a formal, business nature, then after a relatively short time an emotional attitude towards the partner will arise.

Empathy plays a big role in emotional relationships - the emotional reaction of one person to the experiences of another. At the highest level, empathy involves not only understanding the partner’s feelings and empathizing with him, but also the desire to help, support, and take part of the burden on one’s shoulders.

A lot depends on the emotional component of interpersonal relationships, including the productivity of joint activities and the desire of group members to be together. The totality of emotional relationships forms a psychological climate - a special atmosphere, which is the most important condition for a person’s existence in society.

As scientists have proven, a favorable psychological climate in a professional group has a positive effect not only on the quality of joint activities, but also on the physical health of people. Representatives of such a team rarely get sick, they feel good and comfortable with each other, and the subconscious does not stimulate illness as a reason not to go to work.

In a family, the psychological climate is formed on the basis of mutual understanding, trust, emotional attachment and mutual care. A favorable emotional atmosphere in the family can be felt even by a stranger. In such a house you can rest your soul and feel protected, even if you just came to visit.

The quality of the psychological climate in a team can be determined using tests, but the feeling of warmth and friendliness that you can feel when you find yourself in such a group is enough. I immediately want to become part of this friendly community.

On the contrary, mutual hostility and alienation create an unfavorable psychological atmosphere that oppresses, suffocates, causes a feeling of anxiety and a desire to stay away from this group.

Psychology of interpersonal communication: what does it mean in psychology, examples of the process

All people are born and live in society. Accordingly, some kind of interaction should arise between members of this society. This interaction is carried out with the help of some tools, such as communication, tactile contact, sexual relations, etc.

It is difficult to imagine what people would do without the ability to communicate, how contact would occur, how they would understand each other. For such a tool as a conversation between individuals, even a special term has been introduced: interpersonal communication.

So what are interpersonal relationships and the communication process?

Behavior in society is based on communication

What is interpersonal communication

Interpersonal communication is the contact of one person with others, regardless of gender, quality of upbringing, social status, etc. This definition has many derivatives. In order for communication between people to exclude disputes, conflicts, scandals, and misunderstandings, special rules were introduced.

Recently, many have been interested in the intricacies of interpersonal relationships in order to use this knowledge when interacting with people during business negotiations, political discussions, economic solutions to issues, etc. This concept has been studied for quite a long time. It may be impossible in life to communicate with every person according to certain rules, since everyone’s character is different, but it is recommended to adhere to a culture of communication.

Psychology of Interpersonal Communication

In psychology, 3 types of interpersonal communication are considered:

Imperative;
Manipulative;
Dialogic.

Nonverbal communication - what is it in psychology

The imperative type of communication is also called dictatorial. In this option, one of the individuals exerts psychological pressure on another person in order to achieve a certain goal.

In the process of imperative communication, it is possible to completely subjugate the will of the opponent, control over his actions, words, and sometimes even thoughts. The dictator forces the interlocutor to perform specific actions.

In the imperative version of communication, interlocutors are called “active” and “passive,” where the first is an authoritarian person, the second is the passive side.

Manipulative communication is the most common interaction between individuals. It involves influencing a person in order to achieve their hidden intentions. Imperative and manipulative communication are very similar in meaning.

In both the first and second cases, psychological pressure is exerted on one side to achieve certain goals. What distinguishes them is that with the imperative version, the goals are clearly stated, and the suffering side understands that it is being used, moreover, it itself is ready for this.

In the manipulative version, goals are not voiced, all intentions are hidden, the passive side believes that it made the decision itself, and not under the influence of communication with another person.

Note! Most often, manipulative communication destroys trusting relationships built over the years. Therefore, it is recommended to think carefully before using certain qualities of a loved one for your manipulations.

Manipulative communication

The basis of dialogical contact is the equality of the parties.

Interpersonal communication process with examples

Examples of interpersonal communication can be taken in any area of life. For example, the imperative option is often found in work teams, in relationships between a director and an employee.

At the moment when the director gives a hired employee a certain task to complete, a clear example of imperative relations occurs.

In this case, the goals are clearly voiced by the leader and accepted without objection by the passive party.

Verbal communication - what is it in psychology

Another example of imperative relations stands out in enterprises associated with military activities, in the army, and at training grounds. As in the previous case, the active side clearly and clearly gives orders, the passive side is obliged to carry them out. The passive party has no right to make claims.

Manipulative examples of relationships include the interaction of partners in business or any business area. Manipulation in propaganda is especially clearly visible, for example, presidential elections in the country. Any party conducts campaigning, i.e. that is, she is trying to influence society through manipulative communication, so that society casts its votes for the leader of this particular party.

Important! Manipulative communication can be used in any area of life. It does not always bring comfort to each of the parties.

Manipulation in romantic or family relationships is especially unpleasant, since the main task of one of the personalities in such communication is to use the other as a performer of certain actions.

Many psychologists argue that manipulators are unfamiliar with such a feeling as empathy, that they are cynical, deceitful and rather primitive.

Dialogue communication is also very popular nowadays. It can often be found in various self-development schools, psychological trainings, etc. This form of communication should be learned. The initial stage of communication does not always remain in the same form at the final stage. Dialogical communication presupposes a respectful attitude towards the partner, his knowledge, development and thoughts.

Dialogical communication

Interpersonal communication among youth

Often communication among teenagers ends in conflict situations. This happens because socialization among young people is not as well developed as it is among adults, independent people. Adolescents experience both formal and informal conflicts.

Formal conflict communication is communication at school, with teachers. Informal conflicts arise in the family or between individuals connected by friendly relations.

At the initial stages, teenagers themselves can resolve such conflicts, but in more complex situations, even parents cannot help. This may mean that you need help from a psychologist.

Such conflicts occur in the process of growing up, since it is during puberty that a hormonal imbalance occurs, which provokes unstable behavioral reactions. After the process of personality formation is completed, problems disappear.

Forms of interpersonal communication

Why does a person need communication - what does it give and why is it important to people?

In addition to the types of interpersonal relationships, there are also forms. There are positive forms, which include:

Love;
Friendship;
Proximity;
Friendly communication;
Attraction;
Altruism.

Altruism as a form of interpersonal communication

Neutral forms:

Indifference;
Autism;
Selfishness;
Conformism.

Negative forms:

Negativism;
Dislike;
Aggression;
Hatred.

Culture of interpersonal communication

Cultural interpersonal contact assumes that both opponents will feel emotionally, intellectually, mentally and physically comfortable from interacting with each other.

In society, there are norms of interpersonal communication, mastery of which will allow interaction to be brought to the cultural level. Since communication affects any area of life, it is important to understand where a serious conversation would be appropriate and where casual chat would be appropriate.

Each of these conversations has its own characteristics and requirements. In order to master the culture of interpersonal relationships, they must be properly developed.

Development of interpersonal communication

The development of communication implies a correct assessment of the interlocutor, which entails the correctly chosen tone in the conversation, an adequate flow of the conversation. The culture of communication is based on a person’s psychological state, his self-esteem, social studies, and the ability to regulate his mood in the process of communication.

Note! In the development of a culture of interpersonal communication, it is very important to be able to feel the interlocutor, his inner mood and state. A very important point in the development of communication is the ability to listen and conduct a dialogue.

Development of interpersonal communication

Problems and difficulties that may arise

Problems and difficulties often arise in interpersonal relationships. This is due to the fact that in Russia even a short course in communication culture is not taught. There are situations in which one interlocutor has a culture of communication, and the second does not even know what it is. Communication problems are divided into 2 groups:

Subjectively experienced;
Objectively experienced.

Each of these groups, in turn, is divided into a primary and secondary subgroup. The primary ones include the discrepancy between the temperaments and characters of the subjects of communication, the secondary ones include the memory of unsuccessful interpersonal relationships.

During communication, people learn a lot of new information, change their mood, share sorrows and joys, and realize themselves. The only way to feel comfortable in any society is to study norms of behavior and improve the culture of interpersonal communication.

interpersonal relationships are

Interpersonal relationships refer to any type of relationship with other people. As a rule, they reflect the inner world of a person, convey his emotions and moods. Interpersonal relationships imply a complex of different types of communication: verbal and non-verbal, facial expressions, gestures, behavioral characteristics, emotional manifestations and much more.

The main purpose of social connections between people is to establish contact in order to share emotions, receive certain benefits, apply their cognitive abilities, gain new knowledge and experience, and also expect support from the opponent. All types of interpersonal relationships should be based on mutual trust and understanding.

The formation of interpersonal relationships begins from the very birth of a person and lasts throughout his life. Initially, an individual learns to build correct interactions with society with the help of parents, educators and teachers. But over time, when the individual’s personality is finally formed, the construction of interpersonal contacts depends purely on the individual’s individual qualities and his ability to communicate.

Types of interpersonal relationships

Interpersonal relationships are classified differently and there are many types and types. They are determined by the psychological closeness between individuals, the evaluation of communication, the position of exaltation, humiliation or equality, and the degree of familiarity. There are two main types of connections between individuals:

Primary.
Secondary.

Primary contacts include acquaintances and connections that arise on their own. Often this is a long-term communication based on emotions and a sense of obligation to another person. Cover a variety of roles, behaviors, situations; they are not limited by the norms of interaction; the personalities of the primary connections know each other quite well. One participant cannot simply replace another with a new individual.

Secondary contacts include connections for completing a task, for joint and rapid learning. A relatively short-term connection between interlocutors, it is characterized by limited interaction and clear rules. They are rarely characterized by great emotional involvement, and interlocutors are easily replaced. The most common type of relationship is dating.

The main criterion in qualifying contacts is how long a person is ready to communicate.

The second criterion is how an individual chooses his interlocutor. Selectivity is determined by the things for which connections are established and made. Greater selectivity - relationships of friendship, love. The least is dating.

The third criterion is questions, tasks; they are resolved during interpersonal connections. For example, in one group dedicated to drawing. there are intergroup connections. But individuals have different goals: to become a designer or to improve their skills.

Three more criteria by which interpersonal communication is divided:

distance between individuals;
how often do they communicate;
requirements for the interlocutor.

If individuals communicate for a long time and often, distance cannot affect their connections.

Friendly appeals are divided into instrumental and emotional-confessional. Instrumental friendship is similar to companionate contacts; in this friendship the individual helps the other in case of trouble. But this friendship does not go beyond the benefits for the friend. Emotional and confessional friendships are built on mutual sympathy and trust.

The characteristics of interpersonal relationships are divided into two types: official (formal) and informal (personal).

Formal contacts between individuals are based on interactions regarding work; these relationships have norms and rules.

Personal sympathies are created on the basis of emotions, feelings of individuals, their affection. Formal and personal arrangements in real life complement each other.

When contact begins, the first level of communication occurs - acquaintance. After this level, the relationship can develop or remain at the same level. The next level is friendship. These relationships do not imply trust and support, but individuals find common topics and interests. When interests become closer, individuals know each other well - the third level, camaraderie. A high level of interpersonal connections is friendship. This is help, support in any situation, high trust. A strong and reliable level of connections is marriage. Partners strengthen connections with their feelings and become close to each other.

Interpersonal relationships come in three forms:

Positive:

Love;
intimacy;
friendship;
friendly;
altruism is selfless concern for others.

Neutral:

autism – withdrawal from other individuals and immersion in one’s inner world;
indifference;
conformism - agreement, reconciliation;
selfishness is the satisfaction of one's demands at the expense of others.

Negative:

hatred;
aggression;
dislike

Levels of interpersonal relationships

Initially, before people began to communicate with each other, acquaintance occurs between them. After this, the relationship can develop and move to another level or stop at this stage. Most of the people we interact with we can call acquaintances.

The next level of interpersonal relationships is friendship. Here people already have common interests, can talk to each other on various topics, offer or ask for help and give good advice. However, such interpersonal relationships in a group do not imply absolute trust and selfless support in any difficult situations.

At the level of companionship, interpersonal connections become stronger. A person knows his friend well, and their interests are very close.

Friendship is considered one of the highest levels of interpersonal relationships. It presupposes sincerity and openness, a willingness to help in any situation, and is characterized by empathy and concern for one’s friend. As a rule, there are not many true friends, and people try to value those who they can consider as such.

The strongest and most reliable connection can be called marriage. At the same time, partners strengthen their relationship with feelings and become truly close to each other.

SYSTEMS OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS

In addition to the above types of relationships, there is also a systematic division into rational and emotional relationships, as well as parity and subordination. Let's look at them in more detail:

Rational relationships. It logically follows that the basis and goal of this type of relationship is the intention to receive benefits. A rational system of relations implies a certain mutual benefit for all participants in the communication.
Emotional social connections are based on personal preferences, based on sensory contacts, which may not always be positive. Along with friendship and love, emotional relationships also include enmity, antipathy, and hatred.
Parity contacts - communication between a couple or a group of people in this category is based on equality. The basis of these interpersonal relationships is complete freedom of choice.
Subordinate relationships are those that have a clear hierarchy. For example, this could be communication between a boss and subordinates.

Forms of interpersonal relationships

All relationships begin with communication. The ability to negotiate with other people in the modern world is the key to success in any area of life. The art of communication is based on four laws. The book “Master of Communication: The Four Essential Laws of Communication” will help you learn how to effectively interact with people in a variety of situations.

Whether a person feels sympathy or antipathy towards another person or group of people depends solely on his ability to accept them for who they are and understand their motive and logic.

There are several stages (forms) of the formation of interpersonal contacts:

Getting to know each other. This stage consists of three levels: 1 – a person recognizes another by sight; 2 – both parties recognize each other and are greeted when they meet; 3 – welcome and have common topics and interests.
Friendship (showing sympathy on both sides and mutual interest);
Partnership (business relationships built on the presence of common goals and interests (work, study));
Friendship;
Love (is the highest form of interpersonal relationships).

A person is a personality that is born, grows and develops in society. Each society has its own moral principles, certain rules, prejudices and stereotypes. The formation of personality is primarily influenced by the society in which a person lives. How relationships develop in society also depends on this.

Important factors in determining the type of relationship in a company of two or more individuals are not only their belonging to a particular society, but also gender, age, profession, nationality, social status and others. At the same time, according to Eric Berne's system, a person in adulthood is able to control the nature of his communication. And this is an interesting psychological development that helps us understand ourselves and others.

Read an essay on psychology:

As a rule, the interaction of several teenagers with each other is of a purely emotional nature. Adolescence presupposes deeply intimate conversations about what is currently significant and of personal interest to all interlocutors.

Teenagers are rarely particularly tactful, so in the process of their interaction with each other, disputes break out every now and then, and even quarrels occur.

Interpersonal Strategies

Various researchers identify the following most important types of motives that encourage people to interact with other people:

The motive for cooperation is to maximize gains in general.
The motive of individualism is maximizing one’s own gain.
The motive of competition is to maximize gains in relative terms.
The motive of altruism is maximizing the gain of another person.
The motive of aggression is to minimize the gain of others.
the motive of equality is to minimize the difference in winnings.

Based on the initial and social motivation of participants in interpersonal interaction, it is customary to identify the following main strategies of their behavior:

Counteraction, which implies the use of the motive of maximizing one's own gain. An employee of an organization is completely focused only on his own goals, without taking into account the goals of partners and colleagues.
Avoidance, corresponding to the motive of minimizing gains from others. This strategy is to move away from true interaction, contact, one's own goals are lost in order to exclude the possibility of someone else winning.
Compliance, which is focused on the use of altruistic motives. In this case, an employee of the organization is ready to sacrifice his own goals to achieve the goal of his partners in the organization.
A compromise that allows you to realize the motives of minimizing differences in winnings. The essence of the compromise strategy is that organizational partners agree to incompletely achieve their goals for the sake of conditional equality.
Cooperation aimed at the most complete satisfaction of the needs of the participants in interpersonal interaction. With the help of this strategy, it is possible to implement such motives of social behavior of people in an organization as the motive of cooperation and the motive of competition.

Additional material 2

The last of the listed strategies can be called the most productive from the standpoint of the effectiveness of interaction and the most successful from the point of view of the well-being of all participants in communication and their relationships.

At the same time, it is very difficult to implement, since significant psychological efforts are required from communication partners to create a favorable climate, smooth out emerging contradictions while maintaining mutual respect and understanding.

Imperative communication

Definition 1 Imperative communication is an authoritarian, directive form of interaction with a partner to achieve control of his behavior and internal attitudes, forcing him to make any decisions or actions.

The communication partner in this case is the object of influence, the passive party. A feature of the imperative can be called the lack of veiling of the final goal. The means of exerting such influence can be orders, instructions, instructions and demands.

BASICS OF CORRECT COMMUNICATION

The main problem of interpersonal relationships is a violation of communicative function. If a person does not know how to communicate correctly and is afraid to establish contacts with people, then any type of interpersonal relationships are unlikely to develop successfully.

There are several effective tips on how to learn to communicate with people:

Be interested in what the other person is saying. Learn to listen.
Watch your facial expressions. Smile more often.
Call your interlocutor by name more often. According to numerous psychological studies, the sound of one's own name is one of the most pleasant to the human ear.
Get rid of words - parasites. They make your speech vulgar and uncomfortable to hear.
Develop a culture of speech. When a person speaks correctly and beautifully, it is not only pleasant to listen to him, but also much more understandable. After all, the ability to clearly and clearly formulate your thoughts guarantees that the interlocutor will also understand them.

There are situations when, during communication, people cannot find the right words, do not know what to talk about and how to build a constructive dialogue. As a result, misunderstandings arise in relationships.

Types of interpersonal relationships

Depending on certain criteria, there are several classifications of interpersonal relationships. Based on the goals pursued by individuals during interaction, primary and secondary relationships are distinguished. The first of them arise, as a rule, independently and involuntarily. Secondary interpersonal relationships are determined by the specific functions and tasks of people in the process of communication.

By their nature, interpersonal relationships can be business (formal) or personal (informal). Business communications are based on interactions between people about work and job responsibilities. They are official in nature and are regulated by certain rules and regulations. What are the main features of personal interpersonal relationships? Unlike business ones, they are dictated by the feelings and emotions of people, their affections and interests. Such relationships are built on trust and mutual understanding.

From the point of view of status and equality of people entering into relationships, subordination and parity are distinguished. In the first case, one of the participants in the interaction takes a leadership position in relation to the other. In the second option, people communicate as equals.

Awareness of personal value

In the process of communicating with each other, adolescents learn to recognize and accept their own interests. The most significant prospects and opportunities open up for them, as a rule, closer to 16-17 years of age. This is the time of development of self-actualization. The individuality of boys and girls becomes more complete, clear and focused.

Awareness of your personal value is the moment preceding complete self-acceptance. This stage is impossible if, for some reason, the work on effective maturation has not been done before. Teenagers who have difficulty communicating cannot easily express their point of view and avoid situations where they need to prove and explain something to others.

Conflicts in interpersonal relationships

Can a person do without interpersonal relationships? No he can not. A person is formed as an individual, this happens in society; The assessments and opinions of others influence a person's opinion of himself. When communicating with other people, he gains new knowledge, emotions and feelings. In the absence of these components, a person cannot develop.

But during communication, conflicts also arise. Things that interfere with communication include:

lack of respect. Each person is interested in respect and honor for her. If these requirements are not met, communication does not develop, the person does not want to communicate with others;
diffidence. With low self-esteem, a person will not be respected, and therefore communication will stop;
lack of patience and high expectations. When a person has too high demands for another person, and he asks to fulfill them for the sake of communication, this indicates disrespect for the other person;
attachment - no one can live with a person all their life. If the interlocutor cannot understand this and demands to devote more time to himself, this indicates low self-esteem and high needs.
To prevent conflict, a person must work on himself, his self-esteem, and requirements. But for the sake of quality interpersonal connections, the desire to change must come from two interlocutors, otherwise a conflict will occur, sooner or later.

Informal associations

Such groups help teenagers fully express their inner world. The availability of information in our time greatly facilitates the self-identification of young people. Belonging to any informal association helps to establish understanding between its participants.

It becomes much easier to express your inner world, moods and feelings. Each informal organization has its own ideals and values. For example, for emo, these are emotions and feelings put on display. Goths cultivate a depressive view of the world, romanticize death, and dress gloomily. Young people choose exactly what is closest to them at the moment. Interpersonal communication and interaction is built on the principle of expressing one’s individuality and accepting the opponent’s point of view.

Types of relationships in society: social and interpersonal

In numerous articles on Internet sites, interpersonal relationships usually mean any relationship between people, including professional ones. However, recognized experts in the field of social psychology, both domestic (G. M. Andreeva, V. N. Druzhinin, N. N. Obozov, E. V. Andrienko, etc.) and foreign (T. Shibutani, J. Moreno , E. Bern, etc.) take a different position. It seems more correct to me. The essence of this point of view is as follows.

The entire variety of human relationships can be divided into two large groups: social and interpersonal, and they are fundamentally different from each other.

Social relations

They are of a role nature and develop between social roles, and not between specific individuals endowed with individual characteristics and characteristics of the emotional sphere. A role is a functional unit of society, and it is impersonal. That is, the totality of behavioral patterns of the role is in no way connected with a specific person. A person tries on a role like a suit. For example, in a work team there may be the following roles: director, deputy director, sales manager, secretary, system administrator, etc. And the relationships between them are determined by job responsibilities and stereotypes of role behavior.

The family also has its own roles: mother, father, husband, wife, daughter, son, brother, etc. Each role has its own socially defined pattern of behavior, its own functions, rights and responsibilities. They are related to the goals and objectives of a social group, and not to the personal qualities of its individual members.

Therefore, social relations are also not associated with individuals as unique and unrepeatable individuals, because the content of a social role does not change depending on who plays this role. Unless a bright personality colors the role, but does not change it.

Interpersonal relationships

A different matter is the interpersonal relationships that develop between individuals, which therefore differ in a number of features:

They are based on feelings and emotional assessments by partners of each other.
Personalities in them appear as unique individuals with their own unique characteristics of character and emotional sphere.
Interpersonal relationships are formed gradually in the process of interaction between people.
They are dynamic and can change over time, even to completely opposite ones.

A person can simultaneously act as a subject of both role and interpersonal relationships, and with the same partners. This makes the system of social interactions unusually complex and interesting.

Interpersonal problems among adolescents and their socio-pedagogical significance

Raising children is not an easy task and most parents today face enormous challenges. They manifest themselves most acutely in adolescence, the acute period of a child’s transition from childhood to adulthood. Suicide among teenagers has increased so much that it is now the second leading cause of death for people aged 14 to 20. In addition, rates of teenage crime, child pregnancy, drug addiction, and sexually transmitted diseases have increased incredibly in the past few years. In general, the progressive alienation, increased anxiety, spiritual disorientation of children, the increase in their cruelty, aggressiveness, and potential conflict are of particular concern.

Most of the existing studies in this subject area one way or another agree in recognizing the enormous importance that communication with peers has for adolescents, because it is at the center of a teenager’s life and largely determines all other aspects of his behavior and activities. If at primary school age the basis for uniting children is most often joint activities, then for adolescents, on the contrary, the attractiveness of activities and interests are mainly determined by the possibility of wide communication with peers. Accordingly, in the process of communication, adolescents encounter various interpersonal problems, which are one of the complex problems in psychology and social pedagogy.

Teenager _ _ _

- this is a person who is not yet mature enough and not socially mature enough. This is a personality who is at a special stage of formation of its most important traits and qualities: it is not yet developed enough to be considered an adult, and at the same time so developed that it is able to consciously enter into relationships with others and follow the requirements of social norms and actions in its actions. rules The main feature of a teenager is personal instability. It is at this time that the teenager declares himself as a person with a capital P. Opposite traits, aspirations, tendencies coexist and fight with each other, determining the inconsistency of character and behavior. This is what most often becomes the most conflicting aspect when teenagers communicate with the older generation and among themselves. Adolescents adapt to socially stable ideas about men and women, strategies of behavior in society, with peers, and with parents. In this short period of time, the teenager must orient himself in the concepts of “man” and “woman”, as well as apply these concepts to himself, feeling the differences between his current state and who he was/was before.

At this age, the teenager experiences a temporary psychological distance from family and school; their importance in the development of the teenager’s personality decreases, while the influence of peers increases [1]. Often he is faced with a choice between an official team and an informal communication group. The teenager gives preference to the environment and group in which he feels comfortable and where he is treated with respect. This could be a sports section, or a technical club, but it could also be the basement of a house where teenagers gather, socialize, smoke, drink, etc.

The nature of relationships with elders changes: from a position of subordination, the teenager tries to move to a position of equality. At the same time, the nature of relationships with peers also changes, the need for communication for the purpose of self-affirmation appears, which in unfavorable conditions can lead to various forms of deviant behavior; increased interest in issues of a person’s intimate life, which can lead to asocial violations of the sexual life of a teenager [1].

The teenager develops a sense of adulthood, which manifests itself through the desire for independence and independence, protest against the desire of adults to “teach” him. The feeling of adulthood is the main new development of adolescence.

All this happens against the background of changes in the emotional-volitional sphere. The teenager displays an emotionally expressed desire to understand the surrounding reality, a desire to communicate with peers, and a need for friendship based on common interests and hobbies[2]. A teenager develops the skills of self-control, self-government of his thoughts and actions, and develops perseverance, perseverance, endurance, patience, endurance and other volitional qualities.

A teenager’s appearance is another source of conflict[1]. The gait, manners, and appearance change. A kind of social mimicry among teenagers. Thus, adolescents express a need for security. Don't stand out from others, otherwise they will laugh. And children can be very cruel to those who are not like others.

The following happens internally. The teenager has his own position. He considers himself old enough and treats himself as an adult. This manifests itself in the following.

1. The desire for everyone (teachers, parents) to treat him as an equal, an adult. But at the same time, he will not be embarrassed by the fact that he demands more rights than he assumes responsibilities. And the teenager does not want to be responsible for anything (except in words).

2. The desire for independence. And therefore control and help are rejected. More and more often you hear from a teenager: “I know everything myself!” (This is so reminiscent of a child’s “I myself!”).

3. The emergence of one’s own tastes and views, assessments, and lines of behavior. At the same time, it is sometimes difficult for teachers and parents to agree that times are changing quickly. And the children change with them. What was fashionable at one time is considered “retro” at another. This applies to views, behavior, and everything else. Each generation expresses its belonging to its time in its own way.

Adolescent society plays a significant role in shaping the personality of a teenager.

(reference group) - a group that is significant for a teenager, whose views he accepts.

In general, just like the social structures of adults, adolescent societies can be divided into two groups: formal and informal.

Towards formal teenage societies

These include mainly groups of students. They identify with their specific school, class and teachers. This allows them to study subjects together, participate in a variety of activities organized by the school (depending on what grade the teenager is in), or attend peer-to-peer socials. Therefore, any formal, clearly defined social system to which adolescents belong, as a rule, unites adolescent students interacting in the educational subsystem and the subsystem of extracurricular activities.

Informal societies

are usually loosely structured groups of young people who get together but have little opportunity to take part in a formally organized network of social relationships. The only exception is teenage street gangs, which can exist as separate independent subgroups.

In the eyes of some students, of all the subsystems considered, the informal system of friends may turn out to be the most important. This is the only subsystem not burdened with the patronage of adults. This is the world of teenagers, and the status of the individual is the most important thing here. Every teenager dreams of a bosom friend. What about someone who could be trusted “100%”, like oneself, who would be betrayed. In a friend they look for similarities, understanding, acceptance. A friend satisfies the need for self-understanding. In practice, a Friend is an analogue of a psychotherapist. Most often, they are friends with a teenager of the same gender, social status, and the same abilities (although sometimes friends are selected by contrast, as if to complement their missing traits). Friendship is selective; betrayal is not forgiven. And coupled with teenage maximalism, friendships have a peculiar character: on the one hand, there is the need for a single devoted friend, on the other, a frequent change of friends.

In general, the general social status of a teenager among his fellow students depends on the combination of his ratings within each of these subsystems[3]. In addition, it should be noted that a teenager who has a high or low rating in one of the systems most often occupies the same position in other systems; however, for the teenager himself, the informal subsystem is the most important, and it determines his behavior more strongly than the other two subsystems.

Based on the above, we can identify the characteristic features of adolescence

factors influencing the emergence of interpersonal problems among adolescents: emotional immaturity, insufficiently developed ability to control one’s own behavior, balance desires and opportunities to meet one’s needs, increased suggestibility, the desire to assert oneself and become an adult.

It can be argued that there are many reasons for the emergence of interpersonal problems among teenagers [4]. However, as a rule, the bulk of conflicts arise as a result of a violation by one of the teenagers of the moral code of partnership, which is the same everywhere and does not depend on culture and country. The code is expressed in a clear style of behavior in relation to peers. In particular, among teenagers, it is considered important to observe the following rules in relations between members of the same group: mutual support, help in everything, emotional comfort in communication, maintaining secrets, one cannot criticize, one cannot lecture, one cannot be jealous, respect for the inner world of another.

Anyone who does not comply with these rules of partnership can be treated very harshly. They may find themselves “rejected” by everyone and subject to persecution.

In addition, interpersonal problems among adolescents may arise due to other reasons.

Differences in ideas and values.

Differences in values are a very common cause of interpersonal problems among teenagers. Instead of objectively assessing the situation, young people focus on those views, alternatives and aspects of the situation that, in their opinion, are favorable to their personal needs[5].

Poor communication.

Poor communication is both a cause and a consequence of interpersonal problems. It can act as a catalyst for problems, preventing an individual or group from understanding the situation or the points of view of others. Common information transfer problems that cause problems are ambiguous quality criteria, the inability to accurately determine the mutual subordination of adolescents among themselves, and the presentation of mutually exclusive demands on each other. These problems may arise or deepen due to the inability of adolescents to formulate and communicate to peers an accurate description of their worldview.

Imbalance of the teenager’s social position in the group.

A common source of problems between teenagers. Occurs when the social function is not fully supported by means and, accordingly, by position in the group.

Differences in behavior and life experiences.

The teenager does not feel identity and is immediately prepared for the fact that he will not be understood by another person. A communication barrier arises[6].

In addition, all adolescents can be divided into three groups according to their tendency to have interpersonal problems:

1. Resistant to conflicts (assertive behavior);

2. Those who avoid conflicts (unconfident behavior);

3. Conflict (aggressive style of interpersonal communication).

A constructive personality, when interpersonal problems arise, behaves firmly but correctly, knows how to express dissatisfaction and joy, and strives for people using a cooperative strategy.

An insecure person uses a self-suppression strategy. For example, he says “yes” when he should say “no”; avoids situations where it is necessary to take the initiative. But he can react constructively if there is no specific partner in the situation.

The dominant personality uses aggressive strategies in situations where the constructive personality behaves as described earlier.

As research results show, the size of the latter group is somewhere around 6-7% of the total number of adolescents[7]. According to the English researcher Robert Bramson, in order to ensure a favorable psychological climate among adolescents, the main efforts need to be made only on a tenth of them - the “aggressive” difficult subjects. The remaining 9/10 themselves strive for orderliness.

Thus, the main causes of interpersonal problems among adolescents can be individual psychological characteristics of communication, including intellectual, volitional, and personal manifestations of a person[8].

Analyzing the above, we can say that the complex world of a teenager, which is not always understandable to an adult, needs daily support and adjustment. Therefore, a social teacher should more often offer help to a teenager in mastering new norms and rules, so that later he does not have to spend a long and tedious time correcting mistakes.

Speaking about the main directions of solving interpersonal problems among teenagers by means of social pedagogy, first of all, we mean methods of pedagogical and psychological-pedagogical activities aimed at developing various aspects of a teenager’s personality (consciousness, behavior, feelings), as well as influencing the environment. his social environment.

As L. S. Vygotsky said: “The problem of the method is the beginning and basis, the alpha and omega of the entire history of the child’s cultural development... truly rely on the method, understand its relationship to other methods, establish its strengths and weaknesses, understand its fundamental justification and to develop the right attitude towards it means, to a certain extent, to develop a correct and scientific approach to all further presentation of the most important problems...” [9].

The method is most widely used in social and pedagogical activities when resolving interpersonal conflicts among adolescents .

The organic part of persuasion
is
a
requirement the
child’s incorrect ideas about the rules and norms of behavior accepted in society.
The requirement plays a supporting role in social and pedagogical activities
.
Its main function is to set a task for children, to bring to their consciousness the meaning of norms and rules of behavior, and also to determine the content of the upcoming activity[10]. Conviction can be realized through such methods known in pedagogy as a story, lecture, conversation, debate, and a positive example. It is important
in the activities of a social teacher
to take into account the moral ideal
that the teenager follows[11]. By imitating a model of behavior, a child borrows a ready-made program of behavior, thereby saving energy in independently mastering the world; another person for a teenager is a projection of himself in the future[12]. Ultimately, persuasion is an explanation and proof of the correctness and necessity of certain behavior. Their effectiveness is determined by how well children have developed the skills and habits of moral behavior and what moral experience they have[13].

The main thing to remember when working with teenagers is to foster a child’s positive relationship with himself and the world around him[14].

In conclusion on this issue, it should be noted that among the socio-pedagogical methods of solving interpersonal problems, a special group consists of correction methods

which include
reward and punishment
. These methods of education in different periods of the development of domestic pedagogical thought were perceived differently: from the need to apply punishment to adolescents (including physical punishment at school) to their complete denial. In general, the entire history of socio-pedagogical thought indicates that correction methods (reward and punishment) are the most complex ways of influencing the personality of a teenager and they must be used very carefully[15].

Thus, social and pedagogical activities are aimed at destroying certain negative attitudes, ideas, values, motives, behavioral stereotypes in adolescents and forming new ones in order to achieve self-realization of the individual in society. Through the methods of social pedagogy, in particular, it is necessary to successfully solve for both parties the interpersonal problems that have arisen among adolescents [16].

Literature:

1. Andreeva, G.M. Social psychology: textbook / G.M. Andreeva. – M.: Aspect Press, 2000. – 288 p.

2. Abramova, G.S. Developmental psychology: study. manual for universities / G. S. Abramova. – M.; Ekaterinburg: Aspect Press; Business book, 2000. – 823 p.

3. Anastasi, A. Psychological testing / A. Anastasi, S. Urbina. – 7th int. ed. – St. Petersburg: Peter, 2002. – 688 p. – ISBN 5-272-00106-0.

4. Berezin, S.V., Lisetsky, M.S. Conceptual foundations of pedagogical conflictology / S.V. Berezin, M.S. Lisetsky // Current problems of university technical education. – Samara, 1996. – 117 p.

5. Berezin, S.V. Psychological correction in conditions of interpersonal conflict among adolescents / S.V. Berezin. – Samara: SamSU, 1996. – 123 p.

6. Bodalev, A. A. Perception and understanding of man by man: monograph / A. A. Bodalev. - M.: Publishing house Moscow. University, 1982. - 200 p.

7. Developmental and educational psychology: Texts. – M.: Moscow State University Publishing House, 1992. – 268 p.

8. Gilyasheva, I.N., Ignatieva, N.D. Children's projective methodology in the study of interpersonal relationships of a child // Mental research of personality in the clinic. – L., 1978. – 324 p.

9. Dontsov, A.I. Problems of group cohesion / A.I. Dontsov. – M.: Moscow State University Publishing House, 1979. – 128 p.

10. Kashchenko, V.P. Pedagogical correction: Correction of character defects in children and adolescents: Book. for the teacher / Preface. L. Golovanova. – M.: Education, 1994. – 222 p.

11. Kleiberg, Yu.A. Social work and correction of deviant behavior in adolescents / Yu.A. Clayburgh. – Kemerovo: Kuzbassvuzizdat, 1996. – 164 p.

12. Kulagina, I.Yu., Kolyutsky, V.N. Developmental psychology: Human development from birth to late adulthood: Textbook. manual for universities /I.A. Kulagina, V.N. Kolyutsky. – M.: Sfera, 2001. – 464 p.

13. Lisetsky, M.S. Psychology of interpersonal conflict in high school age /M. S. Lisetsky. – Samara, 1996. – 79 p.

14. Kuchmenko, A. V. Methodology for studying the team, communication, personality. Part 1: textbook. method, manual / A. V. Kuchmenko, L. F. Chuprov. – Abakan: AGPI, 1988. – 74 p.

15. General psychology: textbook / ed. A.V. Petrovsky .- 3rd ed., revised. and additional - M: Education, 1986. - 464 p.

16. Petrovsky A.V. The phenomenon of subjectivity in personality psychology: abstract. dis... doc. psychol. Sciences: 19.00.11 / V. A. Petrovsky; Institute of ped. RAO innovations. M., 1993.- 70 p.

CLASSIFICATION OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS

The classification of interpersonal connections is quite extensive. They are divided by purpose and character, and are also differentiated into types and styles.

According to the purpose, there are primary and secondary interpersonal connections. Primary is the type when people interact with each other on an equal footing, without any specific need. Secondary relationships are carried out when there is a need for certain assistance, the provision of a service by one person to another.
By nature, interpersonal relationships can be formal or informal (unofficial). Official interactions between people are based on adherence to strict rules and boundaries of communication. There is no right to independently choose a partner. Most often these are relationships between colleagues or business partners. In informal communication, there are no clear behavioral frameworks; the basis of informal interpersonal relationships is a broad emotional base and the right to choose an opponent. In informal relationships, personal preferences dominate, both in terms of who to communicate with and in the choice of topics and method of communication.
In style, social contacts can also be official (for example, interaction with a work team) or personal (this category includes friendly, friendly interpersonal connections). Personal relationships are more pleasant and varied, richer emotionally than official ones.

To have a human relationship with someone means to be with him on equal terms, to speak with him confidentially in addition to love; and this is also called friendship. Francoise Sagan

Interpersonal relations in the group

This is a system of contacts between an individual and group members that are subjectively experienced. A group consists of people who are connected by a common cause. Business connections occur between individuals in the group, since group members are united by one activity and goal.

There are also vertical connections that are formed between people occupying different positions in the formal or informal structure of the group. Horizontal contacts are connections between people who occupy the same position in a group. The interaction between the teacher and the student is vertical, and between the student and his classmates is horizontal.

There are also rational connections, in which people’s knowledge about each other comes to the fore. Psychologists are interested in emotional patterns: friendship, affection, love, sympathy between group members.

Interpersonal and intergroup connections differ in the number of people participating in communication and common interests and activities.

THE ROLE OF FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS IN SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS

All types of contacts between people are very closely interconnected, for this reason it is extremely difficult to distinguish between them. Also, interpersonal relationships are based on human feelings and emotions. The sensual development of relationships is characterized by both positive and negative emotional manifestations.

When we meet any new person in our lives, we immediately evaluate him - whether he is sympathetic to us or, on the contrary, extremely antipathetic. Based on this, the foundation for future contacts begins to be laid. All types of interpersonal relationships are built on this principle.

People who have a sense of empathy, know how to empathize and rejoice in the successes of others, are more predisposed to building harmonious relationships with others. Such individuals are conducive to communication, it is pleasant to contact them, you want to continue the connection, and also give in return those positive vibes that come from harmonious, positively minded people.

Culture of interpersonal communication

The development of a culture of communication includes the development of skills and abilities to correctly perceive others, in general, to be able to determine the character of a person, his internal state and mood in a specific situation during interaction. And from this, choose an adequate style, as well as the tone of communication. Because the same words and gestures may be appropriate in a conversation with a calm and friendly person and can provoke an undesirable reaction from an excited interlocutor.

The culture of interpersonal communication presupposes the development of a culture of communication, which is based on the development of speech, mental properties, specific social attitudes, and peculiarities of thinking. There is a high need for deep emotional as well as meaningful communication. This need is satisfied when a person has empathy, which is understood as the ability to respond emotionally to the experiences of other people, as well as to understand their experiences, feelings, thoughts, to penetrate into their inner world, to empathize, and also to sympathize with them.

The culture of interpersonal communication is based on openness, non-standard action plans, flexibility

It is very important to have a large vocabulary, imagery and correctness of speech, accurately perceive spoken words, as well as accurate transmission of partners’ ideas, and be able to correctly pose questions; accurately formulate answers to questions

Persistent shade aversion

Youth is characterized by extreme maximalism. It is worth paying attention to how passionately teenagers discuss topics that worry them. How furiously the eyes of the interlocutors burn at this. Guys and girls are ready to take any statement at face value. The main condition for this is that it correlates with their inner world and receives a certain energetic resonance in the process of comprehension. Sometimes you can notice how much teenagers do not accept the average point of view. For them, everything exists in black and white: one is good and the other is bad. It is for this reason that it can be difficult for them to understand adults who are ready to seek compromises. The psychology of interpersonal communication in youth involves immersion in one’s own emotions and an unconscious search for a reflection of one’s own feelings in the opponent.