How to become mentally strong: 8 powerful tips for men and 7 recommendations for women

Hello all readers! Lyudmila Redkina is in touch. Have you often heard or told yourself the following phrases: “Be stronger!”, “Where is your fortitude?”, “Get ready, you’re strong!”? For example, in difficult situations I often remind myself of this abstract force. And many would like to know how to become strong in spirit and where to get this strength. We'll talk about this today.

COMPLETE LIST OF HUMAN SKILLS

General advice from a psychologist on how to become strong

Strength of spirit is one of the main characteristics of charismatic, successful people. Possessing this quality, a person overcomes obstacles, struggles with difficulties in his life, falls and gets up again. Many psychologists interpret this personality characteristic differently, but I liked this explanation of it: this is the ability to manage your thoughts, emotions and have a positive attitude towards everything.

And everything would be perfect, but how to achieve this power? I have great news for you: it can be developed! You can safely live by your principles, be a confident person and achieve success. And below we will talk about ways to develop fortitude, which helps you get stronger physically and mentally. You will find a lot of advice from psychologists on this topic, but I will write here really effective ones that will help you.

The basis of fortitude is your beliefs.

I'll start right away with the most difficult one. It is our beliefs, our belief in something that makes us who we really are. If you believe that “all men are assholes,” you will certainly treat your few male acquaintances this way. Hence the failures in relationships, hence the betrayals and your suffering, hence the difficulties that do not strengthen you, but, on the contrary, destroy you.

You can help yourself improve your fortitude when you evaluate your beliefs. Identify beliefs that divide your world into black and white, tune in to exceptions from black. To make it clear, I will give an example.

A man raised by a single mother. And everything is in order for him, but he is not used to taking responsibility for his actions. He believes in this truth: no matter what he does, he will be held accountable - this is his belief. The guy often flares up like a match and in a fit of emotion can say a lot of unnecessary things, and also believes that he is not responsible for his words either.

Situation: he is dating a girl, she became pregnant, the guy, tired, hears this news. In a fit of negative emotions (he did not count on family relationships - this is not part of his plans) he says that he does not need a child, it is unknown whose it is, and she is also no longer impressive in her position. Result: the loss of a girlfriend, a child, and it is still unknown how many such girls he had and will have. Is he strong in spirit?..

So, different beliefs either spoil our lives or allow us to develop. A person’s basic beliefs are a layer that is extremely difficult to change. But as eminent psychologists say, awareness of the problem is a huge step towards solving it. If you understand what limits you, then there is a chance to develop fortitude and change. True, identifying beliefs sometimes requires intensive work by a psychologist.

Save your energy

In other words, don't be afraid of what you can't change. If you worry about the hurricane that is predicted to happen tomorrow, about the virus that is spreading around the world at a rapid pace, you will simply waste your energy reserves and end up with zero. These thoughts will exhaust you, and when the moment of manifestation of moral strength comes, it simply will not be there!

The advice is that you focus on situations that you can control. If there is a hurricane, then don’t worry in vain, but do everything to prevent destruction as much as possible (seal up the windows, nail additional slate on the roof, stock up on water, salt, matches). If it is a virus, then strengthen its disease prevention (drink immunomodulators, do not go to crowded places, eat vitamins).

This will help you conserve energy for more important things in your life. When you notice that your thoughts are going “in the wrong direction,” it’s time to return them “to their place.” Think about useful topics.

Letting go of negative thinking

People become stronger mentally if they work on positive thinking. With such work, the attitude towards oneself changes (a person begins to love and respect himself), and the world becomes brighter and more joyful. Such statements “I won’t succeed”, “I’m doing everything wrong”, “everything is bad” bind you in chains and completely inhibit the development of your potential. But by tuning into positive thinking, you become stronger and better.

Get out of your comfort zone

In moderation. You have the right to live the way you want and be in your comfort zone. But practice shows that constant comfort relaxes a person and does not contribute to his change or personal growth. Therefore, my advice to you is to sometimes get out of your comfort zone! What am I talking about?

Some discomfort will help you become stronger in spirit and character. Let's say you want to become more sociable, but it makes you uncomfortable. To learn this, get out of your comfort zone, that is, stretch yourself. And for the next week, open up to people without fear of consequences, get involved in conversations, express your opinion, enjoy communication!

This way you will change your character, gain new skills and become strong in spirit. Your dreams will turn into reality. The same mental mechanisms work here as with affirmation, only you get straight to the point.

Celebrate your results

Gaining fortitude is sometimes a painful and slow process. Often, with a long-term development perspective, motivation fades away. With constant problems, emotional burnout may even develop and there is no time for personal development, but at least to preserve the barely warm energy.

In this case, encouragement will help - celebrate your achievements and the results of working on yourself. At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect: what you have achieved, what successes and failures you had today, what new things happened, what thoughts came to you today.

Above, I described the fundamental points that help “rise from the bottom to the top.” That is, work not only on skills, but also on your personality. Now take a few simple tips that will help you take small steps towards developing fortitude:

• learn to be flexible and firm in accordance with the situation, do not always be too soft or domineering;
• go towards the goal, even when you have no strength left;
• make wise decisions - if necessary, stop in time, the decision to “give up everything” is based on emotions, and “stop in time” is balanced and logically justified;
• even if it doesn’t work out the hundredth time, it will definitely work out the 101st time - let this be your motto during difficulties;
• learn to say “no” even to skilled manipulators;
• Gradually limit toxic people from communicating with you so that they do not poison you with their negativity.

Exercises for the will

Another technique for strengthening willpower is to complete simple tasks:

1. If you have speech habits (filler words, swearing, etc.), you can try to control yourself and refrain from ordinary expressions in time. An option might be to abandon the custom of crossing your legs, or to focus on a simple action. To understand how to develop willpower, you can start opening the door with your left hand (for right-handers).
2. For the same purpose, you should introduce into everyday life and do something every day that is not usual in everyday life. This will be a way to both develop willpower and learn useful habits: gymnastics in the morning or taking out the trash in the evening. The main thing is to strictly implement your decision.
3. The development of a person’s will through self-control can be achieved by simply getting into the habit of recording your expenses, making a menu, and recording the time spent in front of the TV.

As a result of following the decision, the habit of paying attention to one’s actions is formed, and the person’s willpower is strengthened. The simplicity and accessibility of tasks for yourself in this case will only be useful: you won’t have to reproach yourself too much for not restraining yourself, forgot to write down the expenditure on ice cream in your notebook, or for not taking out the trash

When performing exercises to develop willpower, you need to pay attention only to following your own rules of the game, without particularly focusing on the result and ways to pump up willpower. Most likely, it will manifest itself at the moment when you have to face a real problem: the ability to break it down into separate elements, solving small problems, and the habit of following changed rules of behavior will also come in handy.

How to increase the strength of spirit in a man

When they talk about a “real man,” one of his first characteristics is strength of spirit. Indeed, strong-willed, reliable, responsible men are distinguished by a moral core. Such people are not afraid to get into a fight for their loved ones. And for such people the female half of society is ready to tear each other’s hair out, because the one who “ringed” such a person won the lottery ticket!

What is the secret of such “machos” in the good sense of the word, what kind of tricks do they have? We'll look at these skills and how to develop them.

1. They do not feel sorry for themselves in any situation. Men, don’t blame the circumstances, the black cat, the brick in the wrong place - take responsibility for the sad situation and come out of it with honor.
2. Do not abuse power. Truly strong people will not boast of power or their advantage over someone. Men, your strength lies in your ability to control your emotions, not in emphasizing your power over someone.
3. They are not afraid of change. Those who are strong in spirit are not afraid to take risks and make changes in themselves and their lives. Changes in life only inspire them and give them more strength and energy. Men, take a little risk at first, then take more risks and change for the better. Even if you fail, this is not a reason to give up.
4. They are philosophical about things that some people don’t like. They are not trying to please or please anyone. They can be described as kind but fair. Men, in order to be mentally healthy, strong in spirit and morally, stick to one line of behavior, without trying to please everyone. Sometimes this is necessary for family or work, but not always...
5. They don't regret the past. Such people make a leap from the past to accept it and step into the future, no matter how difficult this past may be. Men, appreciate your past experience, and do not regret the unrealistic. You have a present where you can grow and invest energy in something worthwhile today. Regrets about the past do not give a positive result in development.
6. Draw conclusions from mistakes. They try not to repeat them again. For example, a business partner “dumped” him, and then becomes friends again. Strong-willed people forgive, forget, even continue friendly relations, but they no longer let you get close.
7. They do not envy other people's successes. I am convinced that envy is a very destructive feeling that eats a person from the inside. Strong-willed people will not engage in self-criticism. Men, tune in to contentment with what you have and development, and not to whining and envy.
8. Accept failures. Many men break down when they have a shipwreck in their lives. But the strong in spirit do not give up. Men, failures are experience, a chance to improve yourself. Every failure is a reason to start over.

Many of the tips outlined echo the principles and advice of great people who have achieved much in their lives. For example, Bruce Lee was never afraid of change. The Dalai Lama emphasized that fortitude requires recognizing one's weaknesses and failures. Thich Nhat Hanh spoke about a person's own path, and not about constantly pleasing others.

Strong-willed man

V. P. Astafiev: an example of spiritual power

Also, an example of the strength of a person’s spirit can be found in the text of journalist G.K. Sapronov, who is also a member of the Association of Book Publishers of Russia. The author reveals this topic using the example of the biography of Viktor Petrovich Astafiev. He was able to go through many hardships in life - orphanhood, homelessness, the war years, as well as post-war poverty and devastation. However, he managed to cope with all the troubles and remain himself. At the same time, Astafiev worked tirelessly. Every day he sat down at his desk and completed the stories he created in order to feed his family. Despite all the hardships, he did not give up and continued to work for himself and his family. The author is confident that only a strong-willed person is able to endure all the trials of life, overcome obstacles along the way and at the same time preserve his best personal qualities. One cannot but agree with this position.

How to become a stronger woman in spirit and character

Girls are more fragile creatures than men. Of course, there are exceptions when the “woman” is not afraid to get into a fight and pulls the “TV” guy and a bunch of children. But every exception was preceded by its own sad story, when there was no one who would stand like a mountain in front of her and look into the eyes of all her difficulties. It's not about that kind of “power”. Now society places high demands on women.

Many people respect strong-willed women who will not give up in any difficulty and will not give up in problems. Who will support their man and show a radiant face and kindness, and their best friend will be a pillow (that’s what our grandmothers used to say - that’s where strong women were!). How to strengthen the spirit of gentle female personalities when there are so many demands placed on them from the outside:

1. We don't expect much from others. Women are susceptible to beautiful words, they are gullible, and they sometimes take advantage of this. Therefore, you need to free yourself from illusions about other people. We tend to expect from others what we would do ourselves, but no! Don’t expect the same reaction as you, the same spiritual closeness that you experience, the same return. If you are disappointed, then this is not the person for you.
2. Use your femininity correctly. Don’t take everything upon yourself, but don’t sit on someone’s neck with your legs dangling either. A strong-willed woman knows when to “turn on” a weak woman and when to show her back.
3. Free yourself from psychological trauma. Many women had to experience moral or other pressure. Some endured and “moved on,” while others broke. To develop fortitude, you need to free yourself from past baggage. And if you need specialist help, don’t delay. You know, it’s better to sit at an appointment with a psychologist than to lie comfortably in a psychiatry.
4. Take care of yourself. Any woman dreams of looking better, looking younger, this inspires her, energizes her and gives her confidence. To develop moral strength, tidy up your face, figure, and apartment. Cleaning, you know, also has psychotherapeutic value!
5. Say no to procrastination. This is a habit of postponing everything until later. It takes a lot of energy, time and effort. Learn to finish what you start. It will be difficult at first, but then you will say “thank you” to yourself or me after reading this article!
6. Set personal boundaries. Don't allow anyone to treat you with disrespect. Be it parents, husband, children, etc. If you decide to inflict offense in response, I do not advise it. This will also destroy you as a person. Just learn to say “no”, leave on time, burn bridges when it comes to health and life.
7. Well, develop yourself. Many strong women are characterized by a constant craving for new things: new knowledge, new skills, new income!

Strong-willed woman

Goals

[adsense1] To develop fortitude, you must have a motive . Without a strong reason, you will use only willpower, at some point you will break down and reproach yourself more than before. Therefore, the first priority will be to set goals.

We hear about this from every word, but we write them reluctantly. A piece of paper with goals lies in some nightstand for months and forgets what its owner looks like. But this is bad: we are like an airplane that flies as long as there is kerosene, and does not know its direction. Someday the kerosene (motivation) will run out and it will fall down.

At least now write again why you need all the changes . This small investment of time will help you “lock in” the desired result so that there is no opportunity to slip away. When you write down what you want, you will receive documented evidence of your real priorities. It will “tell” how to direct events so as not to succumb to them as before.

How to become a strong personality with the help of training

You can read many books and articles about motivation, but it’s better to take an online course or training once. Learning from a person who has walked this path will help you believe in yourself and achieve what exactly you want in this life. Under no circumstances should you listen to amateurs who shout at every corner: “Pay me and you’ll get rich!”

For me, such a person is Pavel Volya.

His online course “Improver Express” will teach 3 main things: initiative, action and efficiency.

The training consists of 23 chips. It was they who helped Volya turn from a simple beggar Penza guy into the highest paid presenter of the TNT channel and my favorite stand-up comedian. According to Forbes magazine, Pavel earns $2.5 million annually.

The course is suitable for both men and women from 16 years of age.

How the training will take place:

1. You receive theory and practical assignment.
2. Do it.
3. If you did it right, move on to the next one.

If you don’t mess around and do all your homework responsibly, then pleasant changes await you: at work, in your personal life, with relatives and friends. This will lead to more money, connections and success.

Cost – 15,000 rubles. with access forever, but there is also the opportunity to take the course for 3,000 rubles.

If within 2 weeks you decide that the course is not suitable for you, your money will be returned.

After registering for training, a girl from Pavel’s team will contact you and answer all your questions regarding the training. You will discuss payment terms with her.

Also in this article you will find reviews of all courses of the “Willpower” project from Pavel and Laysan Utyasheva.

Course by Pavel Volya

Example 1

Ship, storm, rocks. Of the team of ten people, only one survived. He was thrown ashore on a small shore in the middle of a huge salty sea, so he was doomed to a long, painful death (unlike his comrades, who died quickly and almost painlessly).

What would a person do in such a situation? Someone, for example, would wait for help, hope for the quick arrival of someone from the “mainland” and would not make attempts to find the tools necessary for survival. But not our man. He began to think about what to do and how to escape. Thanks to his developed fortitude, the situation did not break him, so instead of hysteria and sitting on a deserted shore, the man moved deeper into the island, into the forest, to find food and drink. He soon discovered a stream and a small waterfall with fresh water, as well as some fruit. He lasted the first day.

A month has passed. During this time, most people would have come to terms with the situation. Our man quickly learned to make a fire, and therefore every day in the evening he lit a fire

When it got dark, he increased the size of the fire to attract the attention of potential saviors. He learned to hunt, created homemade weapons and built a home

He did not give up, but continued to act and believe in the best, and one fine day his hopes came true. The man survived thanks to himself and his inner core, his strength of spirit.

What do I really want

If it is impossible to determine the true cause, this may indicate an existential crisis, a search for the meaning of life and what is happening in it, one’s place and the correctness of the chosen path.

The following exercise will help you figure this out.

1. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four parts: 1) I want and I do; 2) I don’t want to, but I do; 3) I want, but I don’t; 4) I don’t want to, and I don’t do it.
2. Now analyze your activities in all its manifestations and write down the results under each item, from brushing your teeth in the morning to working on passing a bill.
3. Rate the list. How much activity is there in points 2 and 3?
4. Now drag things from points 2 and 3 to points 1 and 4.

As soon as you manage to do this in practice, your life will noticeably improve and be filled with new colors.