Gesticulation during a conversation
Sign language is the most ancient. People used it to express themselves before they learned to speak and write, as some scientists believe.
However, it is curious that people gesture mainly when they speak, and very rarely when they listen . This suggests that gestures are an integral part of speech. Let’s try to talk about a topic that worries us with our hands tied, and we will immediately begin to “gesticulate” more expressively with facial expressions, help ourselves with our heads and bodies.
Thanks to gestures, we can understand people of different nationalities without knowing their language. True, one should be careful here, because the same gesture in different cultures can have opposite meanings . If we nod our heads affirmatively in response to a Bulgarian’s proposal, he will understand this as a refusal, and if we shake our heads from side to side, he will decide that we agree.
The "Ok" gesture, where the thumb and index finger form a ring, would be rude in Turkey, Greece and Brazil. The French will also be offended, understanding it as “You are a complete zero, nonentity.”
In Greece, it is not recommended to extend your palm forward, indicating “Stop!” Such a gesture, when the palm is directed towards another person, is “sent”.
Giving a thumbs up in Thailand or Iran is an insult to the people of those countries. For them, it will mean the same thing as the middle finger raised up in Europe.
In Australia, Ireland and the UK, you should not show the V-shaped gesture for victory if your palm is pointed at the person - he will understand it as “Get out of here!”
Temperamental Latin Americans, Italians, Spaniards, and French actively gesticulate when talking - this is the norm for them. Among northern peoples, a person who waves his arms too much during a conversation may be called ill-mannered, although he may simply be very excited and excited. True, in this case you want to stay away from him until he cools down.
“He who lies in the language of words betrays himself in the language of gestures, to which he does not pay attention,” said the German philosopher Oswald Spengler.
Many people don't even realize how much their gestures can reveal about themselves and their intentions to an observant person.
For example, a person comes for an interview and wants to work as the head of the sales department. And he brings with him a resume that says how effective and communicative he is. The recruiter looks at him and sees that he is sitting with his legs tucked under him and his arms crossed over his chest. “Yes, he has problems with communication!” the recruiter thinks and politely refuses.
Or a new neighbor comes to meet us. There is a smile on his face, but we notice his hands clenched into fists. “Eh, he’s not as friendly as he wants to seem!” we conclude.
During business negotiations, our potential competitor, when greeting us, firmly shakes our hand. So much so that his palm is on top. “He wants to dominate, he shows who’s boss,” we understand.
With the help of some gestures we can arouse antipathy in people and push them away from us, and with the help of others we can earn a reputation as an interesting and charismatic person with whom we can be friends and do business.
Knowing sign language, we ourselves will be able to better understand people, understand their actions and predict their actions, because not all of them can control their gestures as much as speech. Words can say one thing, but gestures can say something completely different.
The above applies to unconscious, subconscious gestures that most people do not control. And it is these gestures that can tell us a lot about the interlocutor. (After all, there is also a language of conscious gestures , with the help of which deaf and mute people communicate.)
There are also ritual gestures . One of them is a handshake. This simple gesture can express a lot: the one whose hand is on top will certainly occupy a dominant position in the negotiations, he is the unofficial winner; and the one whose hand is at the bottom has almost lost.
Australian writer and business coach Alan Pease, author of the book “Body Language. How to read the thoughts of others by their gestures,” advises: in order to put yourself on an equal footing with your partner from the very beginning and not allow him to dominate, you need to extend your hand for a handshake, holding your palm vertically. In this case, it is easy to control, and if necessary, its position can be adjusted. In addition, when shaking hands, you need to feel the pressure of your partner’s hand and apply the same amount of pressure with your own hand.
Thanks to a handshake, we can form an impression of a person in the first minutes of meeting him.
What do gestures tell you?
Knowing how to interpret this or that gesture is required of top managers of large companies, and in the West, also of middle managers.
- About a person who, during a conversation, does not know where to put his hands, as if they are bothering him, we can say that he is shy, nervous, and feels awkward.
- Examines his pimples and scratches - busy with his thoughts, withdrawn into himself.
- Pulls his ear or the tip of his nose, twists the tip of his mustache or hair - he is skeptical, he doubts.
- Scratching his chest and stomach - very self-confident.
- Shakes or shakes a leg, taps a hand on the table, plays with fingers, twirls objects in his hands, cracks his joints—is impatient, can't concentrate, or is bored.
- Anyone who quite often rubs his temples, forehead, stretches, stretches his legs and arms, lacks vital energy. He is passive and dreamy.
- Chewing on a pen? He is in a state of internal conflict and is afraid of something.
- Are your hands clasped behind your back and your chin pointing up? Before us is a man who is used to commanding, authoritarian.
- Are your hands clenched into fists? He is aggressive, but restrains himself.
- Did you place your elbows on the table and cover your mouth with intertwined fingers or fists? “Hidden off” from others.
Some of the listed gestures are parasitic gestures . As you know, there are parasitic words that do not carry any semantic meaning and only litter the speech. But there are also parasitic gestures that make perception difficult in the same way. It is not easy to understand what is being said by a speaker who is waving his arms, tugging at his tie or mustache, or constantly adjusting his hair or glasses.
The same senseless gestures include constantly shaking off invisible specks of dust, “breaking” one’s fingers, rubbing the bridge of the nose, tapping small objects on the table, etc. In addition, parasitic gestures are considered unethical. It is also unethical to point your finger at someone or something, grab your interlocutor by the sleeve, slap him on the shoulder, fidget with a pen or jewelry, scratch himself, etc.
The importance of intonation in understanding speech
The online publication ScienceDaily reported on a new study led by Marina Nespor, a neuroscientist at the International School for Advanced Studies in Trieste. In this scientific work, scientists considered the existence of a connection between speech and gestures not only in the listener, but also in the person who speaks.
Dr. Nespor, together with Alan Langus, a research fellow at the International School of Advanced Study, working in close collaboration with Bahia Guellai from the University of Paris Ouest Nanterre La Dfense, published report on his research in the Swiss open access journal Frontiers in Psychology. The study demonstrated the role of gestures in speech as part of prosody.
How to become "Mr. Body Language"
Alan Pease, who wrote Body Language, has been called "Mr. Body Language." He knows everything about how to decipher people's thoughts and feelings from their gestures. He also tells “How to learn to speak body language” and even how to fake it and “tell a lie without revealing yourself.”
Experienced speakers use these techniques and, with the help of gestures, win over listeners, evoking certain emotions in them.
So, gestures should be soft, “rounded”. Hand movements are symmetrical, the breadth of gestures of both hands is approximately the same . A mistake is to gesture with one hand while the other is tucked into your pocket or hanging along your body. A grand gesture will show that the speaker is a confident person. Uptight - that he is shy and complex.
However, measures are needed here too. Excessively broad and active gestures in speakers who are excited and have poor self-control. It is appropriate to resort to broad gestures in front of a large audience. In a small company, active gestures will look like awkward waving of your arms. However, in countries where people with hot temperaments live, this will not surprise anyone.
You can practice symmetrical gestures, when both hands are equally active, using the “left-handed” exercise. From the name it is clear that we must imagine ourselves as a left-hander, and all the work that was previously done by the right hand will now be done by the left. This exercise is also useful for the formation of new neural connections. The main thing is not to be lazy, and then soon we will be able to control even a computer mouse with our left hand.
Gestures should be open - palms turned towards the listeners. The mistake is to hold them with the back to them or hide your hands behind your back in your pockets. Since ancient times, closed gestures have been perceived at the subconscious level as danger: who knows what is in your hands - maybe a stone. An open gesture shows that I have nothing to hide, here I am here, in front of you, all in full view.
For reference.
Prosody in phonetics is considered as the study of stress, tone, intonation, that is, of suprasegmental units of sound. Prosody is also considered as a synonym for rhythm. Linguists define prosody as the intonation and rhythm of spoken language.
As you know, these are the features that help emphasize the structure of a sentence and, therefore, make the message easier to understand. For example, without prosody, there would be nothing to distinguish the declarative statement “Is this an apple” from the sudden question “Is this an apple?” As we understand, in oral speech the difference between these simple sentences lies only in intonation.
According to researchers, even gestures are part of prosody. Dr. Langus explains that the prosody that accompanies speech is not a modality (a semantic category that expresses the speaker’s attitude towards the content of his utterance).
For a person receiving a message, prosodic information is a combination of auditory and visual signals. These higher (at the cognitive level of processing) aspects of spoken language are correlated with the programming of those areas of the brain that are responsible for motor functions and for the production of both auditory speech and accompanying gestures.
Exercises for training gestures
The following exercises will help you make your gestures clear, vivid and imaginative.
Guess the word
Here you need a company of at least three or four people. One person comes up with a word (or phrase - for example, a proverb) and “shows” it using gestures. The rest must guess what the word is;
Mirror - imitating an experienced speaker
On the Internet, on the same YouTube, you can find many speeches by speakers with expressive gestures. For example, the same Alan Pease, or Brian Tracy, or Oprah Winfrey. We watch the recording and “make monkeys” - we copy the facial expressions and gestures of our model. It is recommended to devote at least half an hour a day to this exercise;
Soft gestures
First, we stretch the wrists of each hand, shake them, relax them, and then write figure eights with our hands and make waves;
Stroking movements
We touch all objects softly, affectionately, as if we were picking up not a teapot, or a book, or a cup, but a small, fragile kitten;
Large and small gestures
Broad movements are those that are performed calmly, with pathos and a claim to strict execution. Streel called them “big man” gestures, gestures that are consistent not only with meaning (“weight” in society), but also with the leading role of their “authors”: a sign is given that is understood unambiguously by everyone. It is precisely this kind of gesture that achieves its goal; the instructions are carried out by those around them promptly and completely. Streel writes about broad movements: “They express a living, unrestrained feeling (affect). This is how impulsiveness, a joyful mood, inspiration, and frenzy manifest themselves.” Next he says:
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“If they are performed calmly, then it impresses, if animatedly, it captivates or frightens, but hasty, hot-tempered, wide movements only generate anxiety and confusion. Since a broad movement attracts attention, it is also used by those who want to be noticed: people who are arrogant, boastful and vain, as well as those who constantly exaggerate their importance and are power-hungry.”
It is clear that small movements cause the opposite impression. At the same time, Streel believes that “...those who do not want to attract attention to themselves prefer small, unnoticeable movements. This group includes people who are unpretentious, modest, who want to appear smaller than they really are, correct, tactfully restrained and internally sensitive, who do not want to show off their feelings. But such behavior can hide prudence, cunning calculation, dexterity and deceit - in this way they try to make a modest, harmless impression. Besides, of course, they can be used by empty-headed and weak-willed people of all types.”
This formulation by Streel shows that small movements are characteristic not only of those who do not want to be noticed, but also of those who deliberately want to create a false impression of themselves, or of those who gesture this way out of weakness - as if they have no for which there is no strength left. Here again we must emphasize how careful we must be in interpreting individual motion if we are trying to develop a “vocabulary” of analogue signals. On the other hand, such a dictionary could turn out to be significantly useful in interpretation, suggesting what additional circumstances should be paid attention to in order to, taking them into account, more confidently explore the situation and, accordingly, obtain more information!
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However, Streel draws an interesting parallel with other groups of signals:
“The wide amplitude of gestures corresponds to the sound accompaniment: braggarts open their mouths wide; impulsive people tend to accompany their wide gestures with loud and animated speech... The frantic ones make noise without ceasing, and the voice of those who gesticulate intensely is constantly in danger of being disrupted...”
Thus, it is clear that we must be extremely careful when describing and interpreting signals of this type. Yes, indeed, hot-tempered people make a lot of noise, but this does not always happen - certain conditions are necessary, which means that in order to correctly interpret the signals of a suddenly noisy interlocutor, it is necessary to take into account additional information. But we can establish the main thing for sure:
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The stronger the feeling, the more pronounced the gestures.
Whether you perceive a gesture as broad or small depends, as we have seen, on many factors. Let's look at some of them.
Where should the speaker put his hands?
But, really, where to put your hands?
I want to hide my hands behind my back, fold them across my chest or put them in my pockets. And you?
Once I read a good eastern parable. Maybe you know her: The student asked the Teacher:
- Oh, Wise One, tell me how to sit correctly? - The same as standing. - But how to stand correctly? - Just like lying down. - But how? - When you lie - just lie, when you stand - just stop, when you sit, just sit...
A beautiful image, isn't it? This image helps me explain to my students where to put their hands.
Gesticulation helps to absorb information.
How can a speaker give a fiery speech without gestures?
After all, gestures act on the visual channel of perception. At the same time, attention is focused on the necessary information coming through the auditory channel.
Along the way, gestures enhance the emotionality and energy of speech, increasing the effectiveness of the spoken word.
Just as there is no similar voice, similar gait and handwriting, there should be no standard gestures. Gestures must be individual. This is the style of the speaker, the image of the speaker.
But at first, while you are learning, you will have to do movements that are not entirely typical for you. Then your gestures will grow from these movements. But that comes later.
Health and illness.
We know that a sick person “looks bad,” that is, his skin “gesticulates” differently than usual: it may be pale or reddened, have a grayish tint, be excessively dry or oily, etc. In addition, the patient’s posture changes person: it becomes tense, the plasticity of movements decreases. Gestures become different: a sick person begins to gesticulate “tiredly” and “weakly”... But the skin itself is still the most informative. This should not surprise you too much, since it is the largest and most multifaceted organ in our body. Moreover, it represents the boundary between “external” and “internal”, so that it responds to both external and internal influences or processes. As soon as we get burned, irritation from outside penetrates into the body and a blister forms. If we are poisoned by something of poor quality, the irritation, although it remains “inside,” is on the skin, that is, pimples and other types of reactions may appear on the outside. In addition, scientists have found that the electrical resistance of the skin decreases noticeably when the human nervous system is excited, and increases again in a calm, unperturbed state.
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For those who want to learn how to distinguish such signals “by eye,” I will give a few examples. We do not claim that they are “unconditionally true,” but they may well be “true,” as you can certainly see for yourself in practice.
Unusual changes in skin color reflect physiological processes occurring in the body. For example, fear is often accompanied by paleness.
An unusual shade of color between the nose and upper lip should indicate a disease of the digestive tract, especially if a gray tint is observed. Paleness under the eyes indicates problems with blood circulation. If the area under the eyes is purple, we can conclude that there is a risk of tuberculosis. Dark circles under the eyes indicate heart disease, especially when the skin of the nose and lips becomes dry at the same time.
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You may meet a person who, looking at your fingernail, suddenly declares: “Three weeks ago you experienced an acute calcium deficiency.” This is indicated by a white hole on the nail. If you then go to the doctor, he will probably confirm this. Why did she appear? Firstly, because nails are part of the skin, and secondly, from the moment when a nail begins to grow until the day it is cut, about six months pass, so by looking at the nail, like using a calendar, you can determine exactly when the leak occurred. a disease that has already passed for a relatively long time. But from the gray complexion it is impossible to tell when exactly - a few days or weeks ago - the event that caused it took place. Among the fleeting skin signals, we can name, for example, the following: “the hair stands on end” (hair is also an integral part of the skin), the skin “is covered with pimples,” a “chill ran down the back” (or “it threw me into a fever”). The same skin signals that can persist for a long time can be blocked by interference from above, so that only a specialist can detect them.
Despite this, constant, years-long exercises (with cursory verification of truth using laboratory tests) are needed to truly “accustom the eye” to these groups of signals. It is also difficult to develop the “correct” view of other body signals, so that, for example, you can read information on skin tension, muscle tone, etc. Of course, there are mothers, local doctors, priests who are endowed with such a view, in contrast to many psychologists, psychiatrists and school nurses!
Towards another?
Many authors proceed from the assumption that the directions of gestures are also significant. Here, too, I would recommend being more careful, especially considering the categorical nature of some of these assumptions, for example: “In selfish people, gestures are more often directed in their own direction than in the direction of the interlocutor.” At the same time, I believe that the label “selfish” itself is dangerous; You yourself have probably often encountered “altruists” who intervene with their “disinterested” help in matters that do not concern them at all. Often, under the guise of the “I just want to help you” pose, there is actually pure “selfishness” hidden.
But it would be stupid to throw out the “baby” with the dirty water, since indeed the direction of gestures can clarify a lot in a specific situation when, for example, someone constantly points to himself and says “you”, “you” or “they” . Or when someone, offering a bar of chocolate, utters the appropriate words of treat, but at the same time moves it towards him, which makes it clear that he would prefer to eat it himself, etc.
One of the main functions of gestures is to attract and retain attention.
Subconscious attention
public. We will study this too, but later.
Young speaker. Practicing gestures.
There are animals that see and react only to moving objects (reptiles, for example)
Man, of course, is a more perfect creation. But he reacts to any movements and movements with all his perception. And when the speaker is the source of movement, the audience's attention is focused solely on the speaker. Moreover, people sometimes don’t even notice how attentively they listen. They get carried away.
Excursion: innate or instilled by upbringing?
It is spontaneous gestures that raise the question about the nature of analog signals, whether they are of natural origin or introduced by upbringing. The scientific debate on this issue will probably continue for a long time, but a possible answer is already emerging. There are some innate signals that can be equated to instinct. Moreover, by “instinct” we mean specific behavior characteristic of people of all races and groups, regardless of their upbringing. An example is that people turn away when they feel disgusted or bitter. Some signals are surprising in their universality, while others, despite the fact that in their spontaneous manifestation they are similar to innate ones, do not possess universality. For example, all over the world the state of indecision is accompanied by moving the hand towards the nose. Ardray describes it this way: “Men and women, when deeply thinking about a situation from which they cannot find a way out, touch, for example, their index finger to their nose. Women at such a moment often begin to powder their nose.”
It has been observed that people often touch their hair not only when solving problems, but also when they are embarrassed. For example, they begin to scratch their heads, and men (“thoughtfully”) tug at their beards or comb their already smoothly lying hair. Ardray explains: “This specific behavior cannot, in my opinion, be a consequence of education, and it is much older than modern man (homo sapiens sapiens1), since this gesticulation is found in all races.” However, a more careful consideration of this issue still does not allow us to draw such an unambiguous conclusion.
Let’s imagine: at the sight of a “blatant lie” or at the moment of insult, someone experiences an extremely unpleasant feeling, which is unconsciously accompanied by “blinking eyes.”
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This is quite understandable due to the unpleasant situation. So it is quite possible to take this signal as universal, interpreting it as a demonstration by an indignant person of his reluctance to see anyone. Do you agree?
But not me. For this spontaneous signal of indignation, which, apparently, can only be learned by imitating another, is unfair, for example, for Japan: a Japanese person who is embarrassed will begin to hit his lips with his palm (often quite hard) and at the same time stare with wide eyes at his interlocutor. This gesture surprises the Europeans, as they are more inclined to look away, which in turn surprises the Japanese, since this signal, from his point of view, is not consistent with what he expected!
In anticipation of the analysis carried out in Chapter 9, we point out once again that on the question of which signals are truly innate and which are acquired by a person in the process of upbringing, much remains unclear.
Empty gestures.
So far we have tested gestural signals by their content. Now let’s look at a phenomenon that has already been mentioned in passing. Have you ever met a person whose gestures do not contain any message (except the message that they do not contain a message)? Or people waving their arms unmotivated? Or observe sudden movements consistent only with the rhythm of one’s own speech?
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This mechanical pseudo-gesticulation can, for example, be observed in a speaker when reading a speech from a piece of paper. It often even seems that he is currently seeing his text for the first time (this probably happens sometimes). This phenomenon can be encountered not only in social life, but also in a close company of friends. They usually say that such a person is “out of his mind.” Perhaps he reproduces something from what he heard or read, but he has not yet mastered it either on a mental or emotional level. I know, for example, one teacher who reads someone else’s material without processing it, and he quite often uses such gestures (which “does not exist”) and therefore, of course, is not able to really convince anyone.
These "empty" gestures can be seen when someone speaks just for the sake of speaking, although in reality he absolutely does not know what to say.
Sometimes this pseudo-gesticulation can be a signal that a person is internally “somewhere completely different,” but at the moment is forced to be in this company. Then you can see how he mechanically pronounces the words expected of him, without “true”, living, consistent gestures that would correspond to his personality.
