How to learn to control yourself and start living the life you dream of / Sudo Null IT News

There are countless self-improvement methods, weight loss programs, performance enhancements, and other amazing solutions that can dramatically improve your life. You may have already met some of them, but have not felt those revolutionary changes

that they were counting on.
In fact, everything you do matters. What matters is what you do today. What matters is what you do every day. Successful people simply take actions that may seem completely meaningless at the time of execution
, but they repeat them over and over again until they achieve the desired result due to the cumulative effect of their efforts.
For you - exercises to develop self-control
.

Why does this happen? It's easy to come up with a never-ending list of external reasons why you might fail, but we'll start with a basic principle of self-improvement.

That is, the reason is that you do not have enough self-control and willpower to follow all the recommendations. Let's say we assemble a team of the world's best scientists who develop the perfect training and nutrition program, and then give it to twenty different overweight people, perfectly optimizing for each specific case. We are sure that half of these people will fail the task.

The reason for the failure is very simple, as is the solution to the problem, although it is not so easy to implement. It is about developing a sufficient level of self-control and discipline so that you can move forward, strictly following the established program. Self-control allows you to withstand emotional stress and act in the present moment, rather than waiting for suitable circumstances.

There are many solutions available to improve aspects of your life such as health, relationships and well-being, often at very affordable prices or even free. But, we repeat, success is determined not by the correctness of the program, but by your ability to strictly and consistently follow all the rules.

Jeff Olson, in his amazing book called A Fine Line, said something that definitely deserves your attention:

In fact, everything you do matters. What matters is what you do today. What matters is what you do every day. Successful people simply take actions that may seem completely meaningless at the time of execution, but they repeat them over and over again until they achieve the desired result due to the cumulative effect of their efforts...

The word self-control is not mentioned even once, although it is an integral part of this quote. You won't learn self-discipline unless you start eating healthy today. You'll learn the skills you need by doing the same things over and over again, and you'll end up loving it. You will succeed, you just need to see the long-term benefits that you will feel due to the cumulative effect.

Go to bed on a regular basis

Sleep is of utmost importance to your success.
Simply put, if you don't charge your batteries in time, you won't be able to expect above-average performance. The author of the article must sleep 8–9 hours a day (although this is a personal matter for everyone and depends on how much the body requires). A routine is not meant to force you to live by the clock. Rather, it is needed to create a specific plan that you should try to follow 80% of your time. Sleeping at a strictly defined time is not necessary for self-discipline, but to ensure that you receive enough energy to ensure the productivity and vitality necessary to complete the tasks discussed in this article.

12. The price of words

If you give your word, then you need to keep it and fulfill it, like all agreements. It is important to strictly follow your promises. Don't be late for scheduled meetings, they will simply stop trusting you, and this will lead to a breakdown in relationships. Put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor and imagine how you will feel. If you are going to be late, call and let us know.

Make your bed immediately after getting up

This is a very simple and easy habit to implement, but it still makes a big difference.
It’s very simple: as soon as you get up, immediately tidy up your bed. Don't check your phone for messages, don't open your laptop, or go into the kitchen. Just make the bed. The point is to develop the habit of performing this simple procedure every day. By making your bed, you subconsciously convince yourself that the rest period is over and it’s time to start a new day. Tidying your bed is one of the small habits that, over time, will add up and make you a disciplined person. More about healthy morning habits here.

Rule #2

A woman herself takes responsibility for her life,
the right path and the right decision. She needs to find unity within herself in managing the vector of her own growth. It is possible to comprehend female grace only by overcoming the negative aspects of female existence. Every woman clearly feels her own internal split. A woman does not want to know herself to the very depths, fearing what is hidden in her. A woman is able to perceive only that small facet of herself that poets and philosophers exalt as something amazing, divine. However, this glorified reality is not able to avert the terrible fate of a woman, to be cut off from her inner core, which gives rise to fear. A woman's life is full of cruel contradictions. It’s simply incredible how the Angel in her can calmly get along with the devil. A woman lives in a world where the rules have not yet been established. And she herself must find the right path, the right solution.

Meditate

Self-control comes from the mind, and the best exercise to strengthen your mind is meditation.
But don't worry, you won't have to sit in the lotus position for hours like the Tibetan monks. One of the benefits of meditation is improving self-control and ability to concentrate. Every day we are faced with a huge number of distractions and temptations that subtly throw us off course. Meditation improves self-awareness and awareness of the current situation, increasing resistance to external interference. If you've never meditated before, here are some great meditation courses you might find helpful: Ten-Day Free Trial Course from Headspace or Calm.com.

Self Improvement Plan

Planning is a guide to staying on course, taking control of your own destiny, and making rational decisions. Scheduling includes several points:

Setting goals. They can be associated with career advancement, acquiring knowledge, starting a family, etc.
Prioritization. There are many tasks, so think about which ones are the most important? Focus your attention on this point.
Setting a deadline. Without deadlines, the desire will remain letters on a piece of paper. Set time frames and make sure they are realistic. For example, if you want to learn to speak English fluently at a beginner level in two weeks, then it is unlikely that you will succeed.
Track progress. The best motivation is to see what has already been achieved. Even if the victory is small, a boost of energy and pleasure from the result are guaranteed. Also draw conclusions from the work done and think about what can be improved.

Plan your life

That is, get into the habit of making a to-do list for every day.
This will not make your life boring or devoid of spontaneity. But thanks to this, you can actually move forward and achieve what you want. Less time to think, more action, more discipline - better results. If you just set yourself the goal of writing a book, you can forget about it. It is impossible to write a book in one go; it would hardly even occur to anyone. On the other hand, if you break down a big goal into simple tasks, such as writing every morning immediately after waking up for 30 minutes, you will soon notice that you are getting closer to achieving your plan.

Again, the ability to carry out planned tasks requires a reasonable, conscious approach. If you've never thought seriously about your fitness, but on New Year's Eve you promised to exercise five times a week, it's very unlikely that you'll keep your word. Taking such a step requires enormous self-control and discipline. You need to find the right balance between ambition and a realistic outlook on life

If you're still reading, we're sure you've already set dozens of goals that you're trying to achieve. Let's say you decide to master the Java language in order to learn how to create programs for Android and get a good position or develop a profitable application. But you don't have the slightest idea about Java, but you have a lot of responsibilities, like going to work or feeding the dog.

Currently, the author of the article works from 9 to 5 o’clock, works out in the gym and performs a huge number of responsibilities, since he is alone in a foreign city 1500 km from home. However, he is still able to work on his personal tasks, and this gives him pleasure.

To do this, you need to bring your life in line with your needs. For example, an author usually devotes 30 minutes of his work break to writing articles. You will very soon become a disciplined person if, despite your busy schedule, you try to achieve one more task, instead of dropping everything and heading to the couch (or to social networks).

How to train: expert opinions

There are only a few ways to motivate yourself to exercise. The first of them is violent. This is when a person forces himself to engage in sports activities. The encouraging method of motivation is also widely known. It is less effective, but more enjoyable. An athlete will have to constantly encourage himself. In addition, you will need to find sources of inspiration.

You should choose methods based on your desires. If an individual has significant goals, then he will have to use a violent method of motivation. However, if an athlete has a small desire, for example, to lose 10 kg, then an incentive method can be used. To do this you need to find a source of inspiration. If you don’t like doing a particular sport, then you need to come up with a replacement. For example, running can be replaced with jumping rope or Nordic walking.

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Keep fit

You should exercise regularly, be it weight lifting, running, yoga or tennis.
If the enormous health benefits aren't compelling enough for you to start exercising regularly, we hope you'll reconsider because of the positive effects of exercise on self-control. We've all had those moments when we come up with different excuses and feel the urge to relax and do something unhealthy instead of sticking to our workout schedule. This is a very important moment in which your discipline habits are tested and strengthened. You will definitely succeed if, when you return home after a busy day at work or school, you are still able to get your blood flowing a little and release some happy hormones. It's very simple, if you don't believe me, I hope the words of Will Smith will convince you:

The key elements of life are running and reading. When you run, a little personality appears inside you who talks to you and complains: “Oh, I’m tired. My lungs are about to burst. I'm in so much pain. I can't run any further." You will want to give up everything. If you learn to overcome this personality when you play sports. You will not give up when you face difficulties in life...

In one workout you will not advance even a millimeter, there will be no unicorns and rainbows in the sky. But it is the ability to force yourself to take another step that makes you stop being a weakling
.

Even when you feel like the tiredest person in the world, you need to force yourself to go to the gym. After training, you will have increased self-esteem, you will feel that you are unstoppable, and this is what self-control training is aimed at. To make you immune to your own weaknesses.

To increase efficiency, you should choose the type of exercise that you like best. Work as hard as you can, but work smart.

Where to start self-development: 10 ways

Awareness is the main rule of a thinking person who understands that tomorrow, in which the seeds sown today, depend on his actions, actions, and thoughts.

The best ways to make your reality fuller and richer, and stop being upset that everything is going wrong:

Accept the idea that we can only change ourselves. Other people and processes are not subject to our will.
Learn to look at the world correctly. Everything that surrounds a person mirrors his actions. Friends don't call? The wife became grumpy, the children got out of hand? We need to find the moment when and what went wrong. Most likely, this is partly your fault.
Look for pain points that interfere with healthy communication and relationship building. If you can’t do it on your own, go to a psychologist, he knows how to do it.
Refuse victim status . This position will not help you radically change yourself.
Understand that everything has a price. Do you want a successful business? You’ll have to give up watching TV series, hanging out with girlfriends, and working 15-hour shifts at first.
Get ready for hard work. Educating yourself is the most difficult thing; the forces of influence and reaction will be equal.
Find out your true needs. Doing something that is not accepted, expected by others, fashionable or prestigious. Goals that do not come from the heart can rarely be realized.
Learn to keep your emotions under control . They are a donkey that a person leads on a string to cute trays of vegetables. There is no need to allow an animal to stick its face on every counter.
Realize your imperfection . Everyone has the right to weakness, fatigue, and mistakes. Another thing is to draw the right conclusions from negative experiences.
Analyze. Before going to bed, you should review your day in your head. For moments of unworthy behavior, do not reproach yourself, but understand why you are covered with anger, rage, and resentment.

By understanding the reasons for your actions, it will be easier to avoid repeating such situations. Before you give way to negativity, you should take a break, go into another room, cool down, think and only then make decisions.

Reduce the amount of sugar in your diet

Sugar, salt and fat are used in the food industry to increase appetite.
Trading food products is a business like any other, only in this case, in order to maximize profits, food tycoons often neglect the harmful effects on health. You are responsible for what ends up on your plate. Why should you reduce the amount of sugar? Simply because it makes you overeat, which is a clear sign of poor self-control. At first, until your body gets used to sugar, you will constantly have a very strong desire to eat something sweet. Fortunately, this will pass in a few days and you will learn to enjoy simpler, healthier foods.

Making changes to your diet is another way to improve self-control. But it will be much easier for you if you eliminate all the potential obstacles that are discussed in the next paragraph.

Personal growth and development

Let's start studying the material. Read the ticket. Highlight your main thoughts. Complete the practical task. You may be interested in some book or technique, which means you need to take a closer look at the material. After all, in this way, reading books, watching videos, we rethink our own view of things. This is what personal development and growth is all about.

Environment

Let’s start creating 50% of our success, namely creating our environment:

The environment is not only the people who surround you, but also objects, clothes, food. Therefore, before you buy or eat anything, think about how healthy it will be for you. Also, try to surround yourself with beautiful things and set the table before eating. Try to enjoy everything, even any everyday moments - this will add positive emotions and increase energy vibrations.
We surround ourselves with positive people. By subscribing to free newsletters, you will receive letters from people who have already achieved success and, by reading their letters, you will naturally adopt their way of thinking. You can also join interest groups, for example, in the Facebook group “Personal Growth and Human Development” I always post the materials I like. And, of course, if you have any questions, you can always ask me for help in the comments on the website and on social networks.

Processing information

Books and programs on positive thinking. Talking with many people who are interested in this topic, we came to the same conclusion: while you read the book, you are filled with positivity and the desire to change your life for the better, but as soon as the book is read, the inspiration disappears, and everything becomes the same as and it happened before.

Of course, the book has been read, but new behavioral skills have not been formed, so the information received must be processed and re-read! Audiobooks and programs are good in this regard: you turn on the recording and can go about your business that does not require mental stress (cleaning the apartment, cooking).

Once upon a time, more than ten years ago, I listened to Vadim Zeland’s audiobook “Reality Transurfing”. At that time, my girlfriend and I were renting an apartment. She spent her free time from work with friends, and I spent more time at home and constantly listened to my favorite book. When she came home, she said: “Lena, are you becoming a zombie again?!” :-))) Yes! Exactly! How else can you change your way of thinking?

The technique of working with subconscious attitudes gives good results. It was this technique that helped me work through my deepest fears, accept unaccepted qualities, and love myself just like that. This technique is Master Keith, I talk about it on the page “Quantum Thinking”.

If you feel that it would be easier to discuss the situation and find the necessary solutions, write to me through the feedback form.

Don't be afraid of new information! Of course, you need to listen to common sense and intuition. You can’t take anything for granted without checking it, and only then, if you like the idea, start implementing it into your life.

Remove temptations from your life

Self-discipline is nothing more than a good habit repeated over and over again.
However, in reality, each person has his own Achilles heel - the point at which bad tendencies are activated. Suicidal habits that lead to loss of self-control are driven by triggers that you need to identify and eliminate. It's hard to stop eating donuts for breakfast if you pass your favorite bakery every morning on the way to work. If you know that computer games might distract you from learning Java, delete them and give the discs to someone else. Increasing self-control is not about giving up the chocolate bar sitting on your desk, but rather about getting rid of chocolate altogether.

Final result

You should not only study how to learn how to work on yourself correctly, but also constantly keep the end result inside. Goals must be formulated clearly, specifically, the result - a bright and defiant desire to achieve it.

What results does a person strive for?

Achieve harmony with your own “I”,
Maintain and increase your health. This is a very valuable resource, unfortunately, it is exhaustible.
Conquer your own fears, complexes and weaknesses.

Intermittent fasting

In the modern world, food is no longer just a source of nutrition and energy.
It has become a form of entertainment. The problem is that when you have fun with food, you can easily lose control of your plate and become a slave to it. There are many diets that could help, but I would like to offer you a long-term solution that I have found most helpful. The idea of intermittent fasting goes against what most fitness industry experts say, who recommend eating every 2.5 to 3 hours.

But don’t panic, this way of eating is not associated with fasting! There are different approaches, but the author’s favorite is 16:8. This includes a 16-hour fasting period during which you only drink low-calorie drinks. You guessed it right, 8 means an eight-hour window when you can eat.

Every time during periodic fasting, the author experiences the following sensations:

attention and mental clarity increase dramatically;
there is less desire to eat and the feeling of hunger in general decreases;
the volume of adipose tissue decreases (if you significantly exceed your daily calorie intake, don’t expect miracles);
a feeling of happiness arises.

There are so many explanations why intermittent fasting is so beneficial for various aspects of our lives. Not only will you become more disciplined with your food (something that the vast majority of Western society struggles with), but you will also experience the enormous health benefits that there is ample information about all over the internet.

Rule #7

Don't eroticize relationships.
Understand and accept your feminine nature. Find ways of female creativity, that special way of thinking that is characteristic only of a woman.

There is no need to match the surrounding scenario. In this world where male superiority prevails, women believe that success can be achieved by manipulating a man, men, even by being dependent on them. This is another woman’s mistake that destroys herself. It is necessary to understand what the true, hidden nature of a woman is. Culture, morality, society are one thing, but the natural feminine essence is completely different. A woman longs to rule, but having received the reins of government in her own hands, she copies a man. She strives for primacy, but having acquired power, she does not know how to use it. A woman wants to be courted, even if she does not intend to enter into a serious relationship. The game itself is important to her, not the result. She is waiting for confirmation of absolute superiority over other women. A woman does not forgive insufficient male attention to her sexual exclusivity. In most cases, a woman seeks possession through sexual relations. It's as if she's trying to take over the whole world through the art of sex.

Start taking cold showers

Undoubtedly, this method can be called extreme.
Ice water running down your body for a few minutes is the best metaphor for short-term discomfort to achieve long-term goals. If you can wake up in the morning and take a very cold shower when you would rather stay in a warm and cozy bed, then you will eventually be able to overcome other psychological obstacles. Taking a cold shower not only shows your physical endurance. Of course, the sensations cannot be called the most pleasant in the world, but there is no harm. Your biggest enemy is hidden in your head. When your body starts to panic, your mind helps you overcome the two minutes of discomfort. There is no guarantee that ice water will feel warmer after a month. It will remain icy. But the process itself will happen automatically, and the results will become obvious, simply helping you stay in shape.

11. Play sports

Nothing disciplines like sports. Running, going to the gym, dancing, football, curling, and whatever else you're passionate about is a great way to keep yourself in good shape. In addition, when playing sports, the hormone of happiness is produced. And there's a lot more going on! A kind of electric shock to enhance perseverance, patience, concentration, self-confidence and emancipation. A toned butt and the ability to stand in a plank are a small bonus).

But, seriously, playing sports has a wonderful effect on your health. Then there were only advantages: blood circulation improves, the heart works well, the risk of having a heart attack at 40 is significantly reduced, hair becomes stronger, complexion improves, and wrinkles run away in horror. Our brain begins to work with accelerated force and promotes memory development.

Based on all of the above, it can be noted that sport gives us the necessary energy. Which we invest in our potential, leave our comfort zone and move towards the beautiful. That's why all successful people go in for sports.

Plan your vacation

Accept that we are not robots who can work endlessly with the same results.
Taking regular breaks to recuperate can help you be more productive and enjoy your work. You won't die if you let go of control for a moment to enjoy a slice of cake and two hours of Netflix, and it's a great way to recharge your batteries. If you've been eating healthy all week, breaking your diet on Sunday will only make your diet more enjoyable and won't make your results any worse.

We greatly appreciate the time you took to read this article. Now is the time to take action and become a better version of yourself.

PS We recommend another useful article on the topic of working on yourself - 30 websites that will make you much more educated.

The author of the translation is Vyacheslav Davidenko, founder of the TESTutor company.

Rule #5

Quit the competition!
A woman has a constant desire to defeat another. It doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman. And by doing this, a woman constantly cultivates misfortune, proving her innocence in it. She doesn't live for herself. But rather, for the sake of the game itself. She is attracted to struggle, play, theatricality, through which she can manifest herself. The all-conquering grace of exceptional power, bestowed on a woman by nature, is aimlessly spent on a primitive, mediocre game, on constant confrontation with society. A woman is not at all a toy in the hands of a man, as is commonly believed. She is a puppet of her own psychology. The theatricality of female behavior is rooted in the dominant stereotype of the style of femininity in the biological sense. This style does not lead a woman to success. If a woman does not give up her theater, continuing to diligently play with emotions, feelings, revenge, rivalry, getting bogged down in the ups and downs of family life, she will inevitably suffer defeat in the 3rd millennium. Nobody can help the woman. The only thing she needs to do is understand herself. A woman's strength lies in her sincerity. We need to kill cognitive dissonance. And start feeling, thinking and acting the same way. Cognitive dissonance leads to self-destruction and the destruction of everything around.

14.Love yourself

Remember the main thing is that all actions must be performed only for yourself.

Give yourself a reward for completing these tasks. For example, if you write a few more chapters of a future book this month, then treat yourself to a day at the SPA.

Love yourself for who you are. How can you love yourself if you have the opposite attitude towards yourself?