An indifferent person or “don’t care” is a character that perfectly complements the picture of today’s world and even claims to be “positive” status. Having set himself a goal, he is able to concentrate on it to such an extent that other areas of his life (including concern for the welfare of loved ones) fade into the background.
This ability in modern society is called determination (some psychologists call it relative indifference) and is considered a positive quality. An absolute “don’t care” differs from a relative one in that he is indifferent not only to the needs of other people, but also to his own.
The ideal form of indifference is considered to be reasonable “not giving a damn.” The attractiveness of this form of indifference is that, regardless of what impression this person leaves about himself, he will remain indifferent in any situation, “not noticing” negative events. But if he does notice something negative, he will not attach any importance to it.
What is indifference
Some researchers believe that indifference is a symptom of psychological problems such as personal and existential crisis, depression, apathy, asthenia and others. According to this theory, an indifferent attitude towards the world is caused by a lack of understanding of one’s place in it, confusion, and fatigue.
In other sources there is a comparison between not giving a fuck and humility and inner harmony. This is a philosophical vision of the world, emphasizing that everything that happens in the world is vanity, and only man himself and his harmony with nature matter.
Well, the third explanation, which is related to the second, says that not caring is a protective mechanism of the psyche, a component of stress resistance. There are no worries, no value judgments, no anxiety and close perception of the situation - no stress with its characteristic consequences: burnout, nervous breakdown, overwork, mental disorders.
Definition
Indifference is a negative spiritual and moral quality of a person, which manifests itself in the form of indifference, coldness, indifference towards people, events or actions.
Once upon a time in the Church Slavonic language the word “indifference” had a different meaning - INDIFFERENCE, that is, unanimity, a single state of soul. Today it is customary to call this a vice, the basis of many crimes, misdeeds and other actions that entail negative consequences both for others and for the person himself.
Our country, once famous for its high moral qualities, has in recent years begun to actively get rid of such principles. It has become fashionable to live for yourself, take everything from life, have fun, and not owe anyone anything.
It’s sad that not only the younger generation now lives by such principles, but also more mature people who were taught to take grandmothers across the road, take patronage over lagging classmates and provide all possible help to strangers, calling themselves Timurites.
A little later we will discuss why this happened. In the meantime, let's see what indifference can be.
Reasons for not giving a fuck
It is advisable to talk about the reasons for not caring only within the framework of the first theory. If we are talking about complete indifference, then indifference can be caused by:
- fatigue;
- burnout, overwork;
- personal, age-related, existential crisis;
- lack of purpose, meaning in life;
- non-acceptance, misunderstanding of oneself;
- life's uncertainty.
In addition, aggressive, unhealthy, cynical indifference can be the result of protective mechanisms of overcompensation and devaluation:
- A variant of overcompensation: a person was worried about all sorts of little things, became disappointed in himself and people, but was unable to consciously cope with anxiety. In response to this, a protective mechanism of the psyche was activated - overcompensation in the form of complete indifference.
- Devaluation option: a person suffered so often, became disappointed in people, that he devalued himself and the whole world. Now the individual believes that everything is temporary and meaningless, and therefore cannot fully enjoy life or experience happiness. He is convinced that the whole world is an illusion invented by people themselves.
In other cases, indifference is not something pathological or dangerous. On the contrary, reasonable indifference is an important part of the thinking of a mature person. This provides the resilience we all crave.
Do opposites attract?
Families built by people with different temperaments and characters are considered stronger. A classic example of such a union is the heroes of Vera Alentova and Alexei Batalov in the film “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears”, Natasha Rostova and Pierre Bezukhov in Tolstoy’s novel “War and Peace”. But not in a movie or book, but in a real couple created by a perfectionist and his antipode, according to psychiatrist Mikhail Gordeev, serious problems will arise.
“It is unlikely that they will get together. And even great love will quickly fade away, because they have different perceptions of the world. After all, in a couple, a person often sets criteria for a partner. And a perfectionist can set criteria in productivity, punctuality, and beauty. He may have an ideal of beauty, and, say, he will like a beautiful woman, but in the morning she will still wake up with a rumpled face, and this is already a violation of the ideal.”
Is it good or bad
Indifference is an impartial, unemotional, indifferent attitude towards everything that happens in the world and life. On the one hand, it really protects against worries and stress. But on the other hand, indifference sometimes turns into complete passivity, which hinders the development of personality. After all, a person develops only through his own activity.
And how can you completely eliminate emotions? They help us understand ourselves, identify what we don’t like and what we want to fight. Complete indifference is not limited to the level of emotions; it usually affects the sphere of motives, will, and activity. A complete indifference goes with the flow.
But the exclusion of negative emotions has a beneficial, healing effect. This is the so-called healthy indifference. For example, recognizing that not everything is under our control. Situations happen that we just have to accept and move on. In this case, the person who doesn’t care follows the motto: “If a problem has a solution, then you shouldn’t worry about it, and if there is no solution, then worrying is even more pointless, because worrying won’t change anything.”
If indifference does not turn into total indifference, devaluation of universal human values, such as health, life, family, then it has a positive effect on the psyche. Some people get hung up on little things, for example, someone may worry for a month because the cafe doesn’t have their favorite coffee. And someone understands that coffee is a trifle. It is better to spend energy on more significant and serious things: career advancement, self-development, improving relationships with a partner.
Indifference kills love
Indifference is a state in which a person does not show the slightest interest in anything.
My house is on the edge
People often call indifference neutrality. Such a streamlined formulation, in their opinion, can justify inaction. The indifferent have many excuses: “my house is on the edge - I don’t know anything”, “my shirt is closer to the body”, “after us there’s even a flood”, “our business is a side”, “I don’t delve into anything, the role is difficult for me like this” and others. Indifferent people will always find an excuse for their inaction; it always seems to them that there is someone else who will do the job instead of them.
This is confirmed by criminologists. When conducting murder investigations, they are often faced with the fact that many people witnessed the attack, but no one even called the police because they thought someone else would call them.
In the Bible, indifference is vividly illustrated in the parable of the Good Samaritan (see Luke 10:30-35). It tells how many people, including church ministers, passed by the beaten man. And only a Samaritan - a man from another, enemy country at that time - helped the poor man, took him to the hospital and paid all the costs associated with treatment.
The Apostle James emphasizes that indifference is a sin: “If anyone knows to do good and does not do it, it is sin for him” (James 4:17). And the Apostle John addresses a serious warning to those who have become indifferent, calling the state of indifference “lukewarm.” In the book of Revelation, he recorded the words of Christ: “I know your works; you are neither cold nor hot; Oh, that you were cold or hot! But because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew you out of my mouth (ed. - that is, I will stop interceding for you before God)” (Rev. 3:15-16).
The growth of indifference among people is a sign of recent times
One of the manifestations of indifference is indifference to what God says. Let's take, for example, the antediluvian time. For one hundred and twenty years, while the ark was being built, Noah testified to those around him about the judgment of God coming to the earth in the form of rain. Many mocked Noah and his words. At the same time, indifference to God’s Word, which Noah preached, reigned in the hearts of the scoffers. This indifference led to the fact that during the Flood, only members of Noah's family survived - eight people who listened to the words of God and did everything as He told them.
Our times are like the time before the flood. The word of the sermon is heard everywhere. Natural disasters and the situation in the world also indicate that we are living in the last days before the coming of Christ. But many remain indifferent to everything that is happening. The Bible also has a warning about this: “As it was in the days of Noah, so will it be at the coming of the Son of Man: for as in the days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, and they did not think until the flood came and destroyed everyone that the coming of the Son of Man would be so” (see Matt. 24:37-39). Among the end-time signs listed there is this: “Because iniquity abounds, the love of many will grow cold.” The cooling of love is indifference.
The Bible is about love
“Love is long-suffering, it is kind, love does not envy, love is not arrogant, is not proud, does not act rudely, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails, although prophecy will cease, and tongues will be silent, and knowledge will be abolished” (1 Cor. 13:4-8).
“But God demonstrates His love toward us in this, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8).
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because in fear there is torment. He who fears is not perfect in love" (1 John 4:18)
Chekhov gave a wonderful definition of indifference: “Indifference is paralysis of the soul, premature death.” And Mother Teresa said: “The greatest sin of man is not hatred, but indifference to his brothers.”
“Don't be afraid of your enemies - in the worst case, they can kill you. Don't be afraid of your friends - in the worst case, they can betray you. Fear the indifferent - they do not kill or betray, but only with their tacit consent does betrayal and murder exist on earth,” says the hero of one of Bruno Yasensky’s works.
And yet there is a cure
Indifference can be overcome. But this requires a force from outside us and beyond our strength. We need a Master of life. True Christianity is the most effective teaching in the world: it produces changes both in the life of an individual and in the life of society.
A born again person ceases to be indifferent. It is impossible to remain an indifferent person if the Lord lives in your heart. God puts on his heart concern for the salvation of perishing people and instills concern for the fate of others, encourages them to action, to good deeds, and also to preach the Gospel to perishing people.
The Lord fills you with love that cannot be indifferent. A person changes from the inside and spreads this love around him. In a word, he ceases to be indifferent.
Vitaly Nakul
Not giving a fuck as a defense against stress
A healthy person who doesn’t give a damn knows how to enjoy life, set priorities, relax, and spend their energy rationally. He is always calm, impenetrable, he cannot be controlled, manipulated, pressed for pity or other emotions. But it is emotions and feelings that are the basis of manipulation.
A person who doesn't care only deals with what is really important and useful for him. He is not controlled by envy or comparison, therefore he does not pursue other people's goods, happiness, or makes significant what he does not have. He doesn't waste his time chasing other people; he regularly surpasses only himself. A person who doesn't care lives impartially.
Traits characteristic of an indifference:
- prudence;
- composure;
- calmness in crisis situations;
- slowness;
- equanimity;
- stable mood background;
- stable vision of the world;
- stable behavior.
Obviously, such a person is resistant to stress. He adequately assesses situations, sees difficulties, opportunities, prospects, and does not allow the problem to take over his thinking. A person who doesn't care deliberately ignores petty troubles and threats. The question is what the person ultimately classified as unnecessary, small.
If a person who doesn’t give a damn sees the point in something, can answer the question “why” (“what the hell”), and the answer satisfies him, then all indifference subsides. A person who doesn't care is a source of energy, a person with great potential. You just need to find a few main guidelines “why” in order to achieve success in life, and not become a passive observer of it.
“There is only one way to happiness - to stop worrying about things that are not subject to our will,” - Epictetus, ancient Greek philosopher.
A person who doesn’t like everything can be safely called, for example, “gloomy,” although this word is not used so often in modern speech, it must be admitted. An excellent and more common word for a person of this kind is “grump” (or “grump”, from the word to grumble, that is, to angrily express one’s extreme dissatisfaction); there are also the words “michura” (derived from the word “michura”, that is, to frown, wince, scowl, look angrily), “sevryuk” (in fact, sevryuks are the descendants of the northerners, the Eastern Slavs; apparently, these comrades were distinguished by their stern character), “tukhtyr” (from the word “tukhtyritsya” - this is what they said in some parts of Russia when a person is sulking, angry, pouting his lips silently), “buka” (by the way, buka is an imaginary scarecrow with which some educators used to frighten children) . A person who doesn’t like everything can be called a “grumbler”, as well as a “knucklehead”, “creaky one”, “bummer”, “mizzer”, “cooer”, “creaky one”, “guzzler”. In some companies, such people are called “fish” for some reason. Also, a person who does not like everything can be called “indignant”, “sad”, “murmuring”, “murmuring”, “angry”, “angry”, “grumpy”, “dissatisfied”, “unhappy”, “gloomy”, “not experiencing a feeling of satisfaction”, “gloomy”, “irritable”, “annoyed”, “annoyed”, “sour”, “angry”, “sour-faced”, “spitted on”. They say about such a person that he is “out of spirit,” “out of mood,” “got off on the left foot,” “got off on the wrong foot,” “like he swallowed a fly.” Sources used:
- https://gudi1991.ru/otnosheniya/chto-takoe-bezrazlichna.html
- https://otvet.ws/questions/5068462-kak-nazvat-cheloveka-kotoromu-vsjo-bezrazlichno.html
- https://psychologist.tips/3841-chto-takoe-pofigizm-horosho-ili-ploho-prichiny-iz-psihologii-pofigizm-kak-zashhita-ot-stressa.html
- https://otvet.hi.ru/12752/kak-nazvatj-cheloveka-kotoromu-vse-ne-nravitsya
