Temperament and character - what can we change?

Table of contents

Temperament is what we are born with
Character is what makes us unique
When developing character, we take into account temperament
Is it possible to influence the character of an adult?

In order to work on ourselves, we need to clearly understand what we can change in ourselves and what we cannot.

Each of us has a temperament and character. Scientists define these levels of the psyche in different ways. Some say that they are one and the same thing or consider temperament to be part of character. Others contrast them. But the most widespread idea in our time is the idea of temperament as the biological basis of character.

Temperament is what we are born with

This is our biological characteristic. We cannot consciously influence it much more than we can influence the size of our heart.

Temperament determines a person’s emotionality, the speed of his mental processes, the dynamic properties of a person - for example, strength, pace, speed of reaction to various phenomena and events. It is important to understand that temperament rather characterizes the general way and direction of a person’s interaction with the world. It influences how we react to various events and what emotional habits we have.

Words with which we describe temperament: phlegmatic, melancholic, choleric, sanguine (according to the names of the 4 main types of temperament), as well as mobile, impetuous, calm, balanced, excitable, energetic, sensitive, hot-tempered.

Temperament serves as the basis for character development, but does not at all predetermine it.

Failure to manage your temperament can lead to health problems - overly impressionable people who are unable to soften their natural excitability with the habit of prudence are more susceptible to stress than people with a calm temperament. A striking literary example of an extremely phlegmatic person, capable of overcoming any adversity in life without much emotional loss, is Major McNabbs from Jules Verne’s book “The Children of Captain Grant.”

Advice from psychologists on changing character

Psychologists agree that an important stage in changing one’s qualities is external change. You have to change your job, get surrounded by people who don’t know you. There you will be able to show your other qualities without causing condemnation. It is also important to understand why you are changing yourself. The changes should be beneficial to you. Then you will be able to motivate yourself correctly. To change yourself, you need to find good reasons and true desire.

Change your environment, change your job, or make new friends.
Motivate yourself.
Start doing something that will help you develop the necessary qualities: sports, a new hobby, or something else.

Also, watch films where the characters exhibit the trait you want. Learn from them. Try to imitate.

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Character is what makes us unique

Character covers all qualities formed under the influence of the environment. People with similar temperaments can have completely different personalities. Moreover, character is plastic and can change simply over time or a change in life situation. Character traits can also be changed through conscious efforts.

Character is understood as the characteristics of a person’s personality, on which a person’s behavior in various situations depends and by which one can judge his possible actions in certain conditions.

The diversity of all character traits makes us inimitable and unique. However, there are some features that can be called typical.

Words with which we describe character: courageous, honest, proactive, hardworking, conscientious, cowardly, lazy, secretive, strong-willed, firm, responsible, flexible, absurd, sociable, nasty, obstinate, scandalous, harmful, grumpy, active, principled , unyielding, vengeful, changeable, peace-loving, decisive, benevolent, independent, etc.

These properties unite different people and make them somewhat similar. To some extent, it is legitimate to talk about national, professional, age-related character traits. But this division is very conditional, full of exceptions. There is no clear classification of characters - the combinations of different qualities are too diverse and the character is too plastic and changeable.

However, for the convenience of analyzing and correcting characters, they use the method proposed by the famous psychologist, scientific director of the Psychophysiology of Individual Differences laboratory, Professor Boris Mikhailovich Teplov.

He proposed dividing character traits into four groups:

The most general character traits that form the mental make-up of a person. These are integrity, consistency, courage, honesty, reliability, discipline, and activity. Or negative traits - deceit, cowardice.
Traits that reflect attitudes towards other people. These are sociability/secrecy, frankness/secrecy, politeness/rudeness, responsiveness/callousness, sensitivity, tact, etc.
Traits that express a person's attitude towards himself. These are modesty/arrogance, touchiness, shyness, self-esteem, egocentrism (the tendency to focus on oneself and one’s own interests and experiences), selfishness (the tendency to care primarily about personal good), vanity.
Traits expressing attitude towards work. This includes perseverance, initiative/passivity, hard work/laziness, conscientiousness, accuracy, etc.

Character is manifested in the goals a person sets for himself and in the means he uses to achieve these goals. It is closely related to a person’s worldview and beliefs. Thus, by changing our own attitudes (beliefs, attitude towards the world, people, ourselves), we can change our character.

Positive character traits in all groups are the ideal to which a Christian should strive for the glory of God.

Often, a person’s behavior depends too much on external circumstances, on the influence of the people around him. In this case, they say that the person is “characterless.” But in fact, he certainly has character. It’s just that volitional qualities are not expressed in this character.

These strong-willed qualities, like many other character traits, can be developed and shaped.

Making adjustments to our life

A person can change for the better by ridding himself of negative qualities

A person may have certain character traits that he would like to get rid of, which prevent him from living fully. In such a situation, maximum efforts must be made to bring about change. Let's look at what shortcomings should definitely be eliminated and how to do it.

Complete dependence on the opinion of another person. It is necessary to understand that this phenomenon also affects the development of low self-esteem. Your task is to change your opinion about yourself, identify your positive qualities, concentrate on them, come to terms with shortcomings if they cannot be corrected, learn to live, relying, first of all, on your instincts and your ideas.
Fear of failure. This quality hinders the full development of personality and interferes with self-realization. In such a situation, it is unlikely that you will be able to cope with the phobia on your own. It is better to seek help from a professional psychologist, who will not only relieve you of this fear, but also add self-confidence.
A tendency to depression often affects personality changes in a negative direction. It is important that in the life of every person there is motivation that would allow him to move forward. You need to understand that on the path of life there can be not only black stripes, but also white ones; the sun always comes out after the rain. You need to look for positive moments in every situation, learn to enjoy every day, set goals for yourself, and strive to achieve them.

We have considered only three qualities that can hinder success, career growth, and personal happiness. In fact, there are many more of them. Your task is to understand that a person needs to change if his shortcomings interfere with a full life.

Now you know the answer to the question “do people change over time?” In fact, changes occur in the life of every person. But for some they are expressed more clearly, for others they are almost invisible. In addition, it is worth considering the fact that people who are constantly nearby practically do not notice changes in your personality, unless they are drastic. Whereas a person with whom there has been no contact for a long period of time will immediately notice the changes that have occurred.

When developing character, we take into account temperament

By “education” we usually mean the formation and development of various character traits.

When raising a child, it is necessary to take into account temperament - this is the basis of character. Some properties of temperament can contribute to the development of some character traits, while they can interfere with the formation of others. The principle of rationality must be observed in everything.

It’s sad to see when parents try through force to force a child with a predominant choleric type of temperament to be diligent, self-possessed, and neat. The word “hyperactivity” is now widely known. But for some reason, they have almost stopped forcefully retraining left-handed people, and raping the psyche of an active child is still considered the norm. Although, if you give an excitable child the opportunity to express his temperament where it is not important, for example, eating - standing, dancing after chewing everything in his mouth; learn lessons by walking around the room, or even running; write not the entire text at once, but upon suggestion, giving the opportunity to indulge in the breaks - then you can achieve great results, and even gradually teach the child to keep his temperament in check, forming the necessary character traits. Indeed, as character develops, temperament has an increasingly less pronounced influence on human behavior.

It’s just that usually such harmonious upbringing requires enormous patience, time, and effort from parents. Not everyone is ready to make these sacrifices. It’s easier to force, and if something happens, to punish for restlessness and other biological qualities. For me, this is the same as punishing someone for the shape of their nose or the shape of their eyes.

I repeat once again: temperament is an innate characteristic, we cannot change it. We can only learn to live by controlling it to some extent.

And character is formed and changes.

Moreover, it is formed in behavior. To become polite, you need to act politely. To become honest, don't lie. To become peaceful and kind - do good deeds and not swear. To avoid being grumpy, don’t grumble. And so on.

The best way to educate, as you know, is by example. True, in order to educate yourself and become a worthy example, you need even more effort, time, patience...

Of course, it’s good when these habits are formed from childhood, because building from scratch is usually easier than remodeling.

Possible reasons for change

Having suffered a serious illness, as well as a serious illness of a loved one, can greatly affect changes in personality

Psychology considers a number of factors that can influence a person, changing his usual way of life, his character, type of worldview, and personal attitudes. The most common reasons include:

Severe mental shock. It can be both negative and positive. For example, the death of a loved one or the birth of a child.
Having spiritual growth. A person gradually improves, daily learns about the world around him, and develops his consciousness. People who are nearby may not notice the changes that occur. As for acquaintances with whom there has been no contact for a long period, when they meet a changed person, they will immediately notice the changes that have occurred. This includes the accumulated experience that changes a person, distinguishes what he was like 10 years ago and now. After all, mistakes made and acquired wisdom allow you to look at the world around you in a new way. However, not everyone changes with age. This is due to the presence or absence of the ability to evaluate the path traveled.
The impact of life circumstances. For example, an individual who has served time in prison can change, both for the worse and for the better. Changing jobs, moving to a new city, all this can affect a person. Finding himself in the company of self-sufficient individuals, the individual begins to change unnoticed by himself, improving his qualities. However, some people, even in the presence of such factors, adapt to environmental changes, remaining unchanged.
Finance is a driver of change, both negative and positive. So, for example, a person with a closed soul, having received a large amount of money, can spend it left and right, allocate considerable sums to charity, and not regret anything. And the previously good-natured, open personality withdraws from the world around him.
The age crisis can leave its mark. Between thirty and forty years, there is often a lack of perfect plans that were previously outlined. A person reconsiders his views, sometimes he can change his way of existence, some qualities can strengthen and become stronger, while others can weaken. Liberation from illusions occurs. Crisis of old age (age over 70 years) - a person analyzes his past, reevaluates himself, notes positive and negative moments in his life. If everything suits him, he understands that he has the right character traits. If he becomes aware of the lack of some qualities, he tries to change himself. At this age, changes are often caused by the loss of loved ones or loneliness.
The presence of a protracted illness forces you to change your usual lifestyle for a long period of time. And a disease that threatens death forces you to reconsider your entire life path. Often a person changes under the influence of his approaching death, even if he managed to avoid it.

Changing character: ov to success

Follow the instructions step by step, each step should be completed with the utmost honesty and thoughtfulness.

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Analysis

You can keep a diary for several weeks, but write down not events, but the qualities that you showed in situations. For example: “Today I was too lazy to go to the gym” or “Because of my principles, I disagreed with a colleague, and we ruined the project due to my fault.” There should be a place for positive traits here, this is very important, for example: “I prepared cupcakes for work, a programmer from the neighboring department said that I was very economical and feminine, and invited me on a date.” After a month, you can write down all the qualities in two columns - pros and cons.

View from the outside

Look at a person who behaves in a similar way. It is usually easier to evaluate others than ourselves. Remember that the same can be said about you.

Role Model

Create a collective image - self-confidence, like your sister, cheerfulness, like your college friend. These can be acquaintances or famous personalities, idols.

Control

Set yourself goals and achieve them. The habit is reinforced within three weeks - this is your minimum when self-control is tested. To make the task easier, you can encourage yourself or make a schedule, use a calendar.

Good deeds

There is no need to look for grandmothers with packages to carry them across the road. Every person needs a good attitude. Give compliments, offer all possible help. Set a goal for yourself to collect at least 10 thanks per day.

How is it formed?

Character begins to form from the first months of life.

At the same time, the main role at this stage belongs to communication with others, since the child imitates loved ones and thus learns forms of behavior.

In addition, there is a special period of character development, which ranges from two to ten years. At this time, children perceive information best, actively communicate with others, and are exposed to outside influence.

The main condition for the formation of character is the social environment, that is, all the people who surround a person in the process of growing up and beyond.

In addition, physiological prerequisites . This refers to the peculiarities of the functioning of the brain, the degree of its development is determined by differences in the character of different people.

Stages of character development

Character formation begins from the very birth of a child. In the first years of life, we copy the behavior, habits, and values of people close to us: mothers, fathers, grandparents. From the age of 12-14, our individuality begins to manifest itself; under the influence of external and internal factors, our character changes. During this period, the formation of moral and moral values and volitional qualities occurs. High school students have already developed their basic character traits. In the future, they are consolidated and developed, but transformation is also possible under the influence of external factors: culture, environment, media and others. In an adult, the formation of characteristic traits does not stop, but those properties that contribute to achieving success in life are consolidated: in the family plan, in a career, in the formation of the necessary social circle.

Can I change it myself?

All this is of course very individual and depends on many features. There are people for whom changing their own character is easier. And there are those who have to make enormous efforts on themselves .

Your own desire is also important. If you sincerely want to change, then nothing will stop you.

Thus, if you are 30 years old or more, then you can change your character, but this requires a great desire and active work on yourself .

This video is about how to work on negative character traits:

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In 10 years you will be a different person, and here's why

What do we ourselves think about character changes?

Think back to yourself 5 or 10 years ago.
How did you spend your free time? What did you dream about? What books and films were your favorites? How did you react to failures and achievements? Analyze how much your character, habits and preferences have changed since then, and most likely you will realize that you were a completely different person in the past. Now imagine yourself in another 5 or 10 years. How much do you think you will change? It probably seems to you that the main changes are already behind you - details, of course, will change, but overall you will remain “you”, the same as you are now.

If you believe this, you are falling into a mental trap that social psychologists Geordie Quoidbach, Daniel Gilbert and Timothy Wilson call the “end of history illusion.”

Scientists have found that although we are well aware of how we have changed in the past, it seems to us that in the future our character and habits will not transform very much. Quoidbach and colleagues asked people of different ages to remember how they had changed over the past 10 years and to predict what would happen to them over the next decade. The 30-year-old participants admitted that they had changed a lot from when they were 20. But their predictions about potential changes in the next decade were much less radical than the average actual experience of the 40-year-old participants in the experiment. As the study showed, people fall into this trap regardless of age.

Daniel Gilberg and his colleagues explain this phenomenon this way: we tend to think that we have reached the peak of our personal evolution at the current stage and will now remain approximately that way for the rest of our lives. Knowing that we have learned a lot over the years gives us a feeling of confidence and comfort.

We are not ready to admit that there is still much we do not understand. It seems to us that we were “young and stupid” before, but now everything is different.

People avoid realizing that all our preferences and character traits are changeable, because it will cause constant anxiety and make us doubt every decision we make.

How character evolves with age

In modern psychology, to “measure” character traits, the so-called Big Five is most often used - a personality model that assumes that a person’s character is made up of five basic traits that are relatively independent from each other. These are extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism (as opposed to emotional stability) and openness to new things. Based on questionnaires and observations of people's behavior, researchers construct a personality model from these five traits. This model is unstable - the intensity of expression of each of the five traits can change over the years under the influence of various factors.

Scientists have found that as people age, on average, they become more introverted and less open to new experiences. For example, they are less willing to make new acquaintances and want to spend more time with family and old friends.

Despite the widespread stereotype about the harmfulness of the older generation, the older a person is, the more friendly he is. At the same time, rapid changes in the expression of goodwill occur with people between the ages of 30 and 40. This may be due to the fact that during this period people begin to devote more time to their family, their children enter puberty, and they have to learn to be more tolerant, to adapt to the antics of teenage children.

Middle-aged people also turned out to be the most conscientious.

Conscientiousness, according to research, increases until about 30-40 years of age, and then gradually begins to decrease. The biggest changes in conscientiousness occur in people in their 20s and 30s.

This is quite logical and easily explainable - at this age people begin to earn money on their own, get an education, and start families. They become more conscious under the influence of such external factors, and not due to biological age-related changes.

Emotional stability, according to scientists, does not directly correlate with age.

What changes character

All described age-related changes in character occur regardless of gender and level of education of people. But despite the fact that these changes correlate with age, they directly depend rather on many external factors that influence people at different stages of life. Character can change under the influence of a variety of circumstances, including social status, marital status, hobbies and even place of residence.

What and how influences character

Money

A significant increase in salary or an unexpected inheritance can change your personal qualities and not necessarily for the better. On the one hand, rich people are, on average, more self-sufficient and have higher self-esteem. On the other hand, they violate social norms more easily than others.

Unemployment

Job loss affects men and women differently.

After dismissal, men become friendlier for a short time, but then the friendliness gradually begins to decline. Women generally do not have a sharp surge in goodwill; it simply decreases consistently.

The more time a person fails to find a new job, the less friendly he becomes. Also, after losing a job, both men and women become less conscientious, and in men the decline in consciousness occurs more rapidly than in women.

Location

Surely you have a friend who moved to another area, city or country. If you think he became different after that, you're probably right. Scientists have found that the “Big Five” character traits are expressed differently in people from different regions, and when a person moves, a person’s character changes over time and adapts to the personal characteristics of the residents of the region to which he moved. A US study of regional personality traits showed, for example, that residents of the West Coast are more emotionally stable and open to new things than residents of the East Coast. Similar studies have not been conducted in Russia, but opinion polls say that Russians also believe in the presence of regional personality traits. Thus, it is believed that the inhabitants of the North of Russia are distinguished by their calmness, those from the Caucasus by their temper, the population of Central Russia by their hard work, and the population of the Far East by their friendliness. But in this case we are talking more about regional stereotypes, which may have nothing to do with reality.

Climate and environmental conditions

Weather conditions can also affect character. For example, people from regions where infectious diseases have traditionally spread rapidly due to climatic conditions are more introverted than the population of other territories. And residents of countries with hot climates are, on average, more aggressive than others.

Language

If you can speak more than one language fluently, pay attention to how your communication style changes depending on which language you are currently using.

Research shows that one person can switch quite quickly between “linguistic personalities” depending on his perception of the features of a particular language.

For example, in a non-native language, people sometimes use harsher language or interrupt others more often.

Romantic relationship

When a person enters a new romantic relationship, they become more conscientious—at least for a short period of time—and begin to think more about how to please their new partner.

By the way, not only relationships can influence character, but also vice versa - marriages in which at least one partner is relatively responsible and emotionally stable are, on average, less likely to end in divorce.

These are just a few factors that can change our character; in fact, there are many more, but the influence of many is still poorly studied.

What's the result?

Although we may think that we remain ourselves all our lives, science says otherwise.

The longest study of human character lasted 63 years and showed that the character traits of the same people at 14 and at 77 have almost nothing in common with each other.

Something remains constant throughout life - our desire to change for the better. People of different ages want to change their character for the better approximately equally. This desire is slightly less pronounced only among those over 60.

Fortunately, it has been scientifically proven that we can indeed change for the better if we want and consciously put in the effort. But it is worth considering that character transformations occur gradually. That is, in a day or two you, of course, will not change for the better, but in 16 weeks, with due diligence, it is quite possible, although during this period only minimal changes occur.