Do you know women whose relationships as a couple do not work out over and over again? Or maybe this story is about you? Men may be different, but the result is the same.
And it doesn’t matter who you marry: an oligarch or a tractor driver - after a while both will begin to behave the same, as if infected with some kind of common virus. For example, they will start drinking, or let their hands go, or sit on their necks... The same problems appear over and over again. And the woman begins to think that she is unhappy, unlucky, or even damned.
In fact, it’s all due to personal internal attitudes. Let's look at how and why women themselves destroy their relationships. Today you will understand what needs to be done to restore harmony and love to them.
If your relationship is collapsing like a house of cards, this will help you >>>
Three of my novels ended the same...
Five years ago, I was in despair: I couldn’t understand why my relationships with men were constantly not working out. Three of my big novels ended the same way - I was abandoned. Without scandals, without betrayals and practically without explanations, men packed up their things and simply disappeared from my life.
Having experienced the last pain of separation, I decided to analyze all the situations. And I was amazed when I discovered that all three times I myself had built relationships according to the
same scenario.
I myself behaved in such a way that it inevitably led to a breakup!
Later, after reading a dozen books on psychology, I realized what my mistakes were. I was able to change, and now I know exactly how to maintain a relationship. I have been happily married for five years now and remember past love failures with a smile.
In this article I want to share my own experience, stories from the lives of my friends and my knowledge. I sincerely hope that this will help you stop repeating negative scenarios and find harmony and happiness with your chosen ones!
Mistakes that only make things worse
Never make these mistakes, even in difficult times for you:
- do not hush up the problem, talk - it is important that both sides express everything they think, this will make it easier to come to a compromise;
- do not blame or insult your loved one, even in the heat of a quarrel - when you make peace, the words spoken will hang in the air between you and be remembered at every “convenient” opportunity;
- do not let the situation take its course - no one will solve your problems except you, do not put off solving them for later;
- do not use other couples (friends, relatives, even public people) as an example - this is their story, not yours, build your own.
When a new relationship repeats the previous one
Perhaps, during your next breakup with your loved one, you also noticed that both this and your previous relationships developed and ended in almost the same way - according to the same unsuccessful pattern. And you are again faced with problems that are painfully similar to the past.
It turns out that you repeat the same negative scenario over and over again, performing similar actions. The result is always the same - separation and a broken heart. Sound familiar?
Often women deliberately choose different men - based on age, character, habits and interests. But after some time they see how they all become like the first one with whom the relationship did not work out and brought bitter disappointment.
On the subject: “If only a sweetheart were nearby”: how to build a happy relationship as a couple
Let me give you a couple of examples from the lives of my friends.
“
Some kind of curse lies on me ”
My friend Sveta was married twice. Her chosen ones were not alike: one was a popular rock musician, the other was a “quiet” IT specialist. But both eventually started relationships on the side, and then left her for mistresses.
After the second divorce, Sveta told me: “ Something is wrong with me, probably some kind of curse... ”
“In my family all the women are draft horses»
Another friend of mine, Olga, constantly attracted lazy people into her life who did not want to work and lived at her expense. Moreover, at the beginning of their relationship, the men were quite successful: one of them was a well-known wedding photographer in the city, and the other was the owner of a chain of car washes. But after a short time, both began to manipulate Olga and literally sat on her neck.
When I told my friend that she spoils her men too much, she only said
The repetition of life scenarios, unfortunately, happens very often. I think that you, too, can easily remember, if not your own situations, then at least several similar cases in your environment.
Walking in a vicious circle of repeating scenarios, women blame unsuitable men, unfortunate circumstances or evil fate. Otherwise they just write everything off as simple bad luck. However, the reason lies much deeper - in the internal attitudes of the woman herself. And until she changes them, everything will repeat itself over and over again.
On the subject: Harmonious love relationships: chance or your merit?
“Our lives have been consumed by everyday life!”
Previously, you talked about art, talked about love and travel, but now only about work, washing windows and upcoming renovations?
No marriage can do without solving everyday problems, but sometimes they turn into a real curse. Fortunately, you can protect yourself from such negativity.
You yourself build relationships according to the same scenario
In fact, each woman herself determines the scenario of the relationship in a couple, but sometimes she does it unconsciously. And if you notice that patterns are repeated, then it’s not about men at all, but about your thoughts and inner world. The whole secret is that you yourself program the development of relationships according to an unsuccessful pattern, provoking problems in the couple.
In this situation, it is useless to manipulate a man: nag or beg, present a fact or threaten. Nothing will make him behave differently. And even if you break up with this person and enter into a new relationship with another, everything will happen again. Why? Let's find out!
But before we move on to the reasons for failed relationships, I want to draw your attention to a course that helps you get rid of negative scenarios once and for all.
The methodology underlying the course is suitable both for women who have already separated from their partners, and for those who are still couples, but whose relationships are falling apart before their eyes.
Stop waiting for everything to work itself out. You risk wasting precious time and losing your man forever.
Get a step-by-step method for saving your relationship
and take the first confident step towards a happy tomorrow.
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“He stopped wanting me!”
One of the most notorious problems of long-term relationships. Desire can disappear in both men and women.
There are times when both spouses stop wanting sex. But is this normal? Let's figure it out.
Most couples come to terms with the fact that sex has disappeared from their lives. Some people think that this is normal and everyone comes to this over time.
Some refer to age and burden of problems. You should not adhere to any of the mentioned strategies, because the presence of sex in your life depends only on you and your partner.
Why relationships don't work out: main reasons
Reason #1. Low self-esteem
One of the basic laws of our Universe is the Law of the Mirror. According to this law, the outer world is a projection of the inner world. All your thoughts, states and beliefs are always reflected in reality. This is why your self-perception and attitude towards yourself directly affect what happens in your life.
If you have low self-esteem and you don’t love, value or respect yourself, then the people around you will behave in the same way, mirroring your condition to you. They will begin to treat you with disdain and devalue you.
This is how it works in relationships
The men around you, subconsciously reading your negative attitude towards themselves, will not seek your affection and love. Most likely, they will avoid you or prefer not to notice you at all.
Even if you start dating someone, after a while you will notice how your partner will become colder and more indifferent every day. Of course, you will be disappointed by such a change, and in the end the relationship will not work out.
Let me give you an example.
«No one will love me, because I am the most ordinary...»
My friend Ira has been convinced since childhood that she is “the most ordinary.” Ira always kept a low profile, dressed modestly and spoke little. Men usually didn't notice her. But one day, a new correspondent, Andrei, appeared in the editorial office where Ira worked. The young man immediately laid his eyes on her and began courtship.
However, the girl was constantly looking for some kind of catch in Andrei’s actions. She suspected that he started this affair for the sake of career advancement, her apartment, position, etc.
The relationship of this couple did not last long. Over time, Andrei changed: he began to compare Irina with other girls, notice her shortcomings, get annoyed... And eventually he left. Ira never understood that he simply mirrored her own attitude towards herself.
But the same Mirror Law
also applies vice versa!
If you sincerely, totally love yourself, realize your value and uniqueness, those around you will immediately feel it. They will respond to you with respect and admiration, and men will start chasing you in droves!
When I accepted and loved myself - my appearance, my inner world, all my strengths and weaknesses - I immediately saw changes around me. Men complimented me, turned around, sought my attention and affection.
I think that you have also noticed how strongly your inner mood influences the circumstances and attitudes of others. Remember how in the old Soviet film:
Here I am walking beautifully down the street, and all the guys I meet are standing still, and the weaker ones are falling, falling, falling and stacking themselves in piles! Here!
Film "Girls", 1962
As for your chosen one, seeing your wonderful attitude towards yourself, he will also begin to love you even more and will literally carry you in his arms.
Reason #2. Negative thoughts and fears
When a relationship does not work out in a couple or difficulties and misunderstandings arise, the woman often begins to “wind up” herself with negative thoughts and fears. Perhaps the following thoughts often swirl in your head:
- Our relationship is crumbling...
- He stopped loving me, I’m losing him...
- He doesn’t care about me, he left again with friends...
- He didn’t even call back , he disappeared...
- Our relationship is over...
You yourself will not notice how you will gradually begin to look for the reasons for such behavior of your loved one. And your rational mind will quickly find an “explanation” for what is happening: “ He
probably has another one . Perhaps he doesn't need me anymore? Or maybe he wants to break up with me? “
But understand: all this exists only in your head. In reality, you never know for sure why a particular situation happened. However, you persistently continue to play out the most unfavorable scenarios and outcomes in your imagination. You tirelessly come up with negative thoughts for a man, endowing him with non-existent qualities and attributing to him all the “deadly sins”. This is absolutely forbidden to do!
Related: How to get the perfect love relationship? Hicks will help
This is how it works in relationships
Any of your negative thoughts, states and fears will definitely be reflected in the material world! Remember what we talked about above: if you think that a man doesn’t love you and he doesn’t need you, then very soon you will see confirmation of this in reality. Therefore, immediately stop thinking about what you don’t know!
I'll tell you a real story.
How to push your husband to cheat
My neighbor Katya was happily married for several years. But then it seemed to her that her husband Kostya began to move away, to be less interested in her, to grow cold... And Katya decided that he had someone else.
The girl was sure that Kostya was meeting with his mistress at their home in her absence. Katya examined the sheets every day, sniffed clothes, looked for hair on the carpet and even installed a hidden camera in the bedroom!
After three months of surveillance, she finally caught her husband with his mistress... This is how Katya herself materialized the negative scenario that she had been replaying in her head for a long time.
Low self-esteem and negative thoughts can easily ruin your union, even if it was strong. But realizing your wrong attitudes is already a huge step towards a new reality.
I, like many of you, also made these mistakes in the past: I considered myself unworthy of the men I chose, tried to live up to them, completely forgetting about my needs. I turned into their shadow, lived only in their interests and at the same time was constantly in a negative state, feeling that I was about to be abandoned. That's what happened. Three times.
What helped me break the vicious circle that was keeping me from having relationships with men? I'll tell you right now.
“The children took up all our time!”
It is difficult to prefer something else when you can give yourself to children. Women often sin with this, putting their child first, forgetting about the needs of their spouse. At first it seems noble, but then it turns out to be real stupidity.
It is very difficult for mothers to get used to the idea that their child, who until recently was a defenseless baby, has grown up and is able to be in the hands of a grandmother, grandfather or a hired nanny. Children are our treasure, but there is no need to sacrifice yourself when there is no need for it.
Now your relationship will definitely work out!
So, if you follow my advice and complete all 5 steps, you will be able to improve your relationship with your loved one, returning harmony and love to your life!
For those who are ready to work on relationships 100%, the course “An Effective Program for Restoring Love Relationships” has been created, which allows you to:
1. Get the man back into a relationship with you, even if he has a mistress, lives in another city or country, has blocked you and does not contact you. Whatever the circumstances of your breakup, you can fix everything!
2. Bring love and passion back into faded relationships, restore harmony. If your relationship is like a battlefield or, on the contrary, like water in a stagnant swamp, take action. And you will write a new script for your life together.
You can find out details of participation here >>>
I hope now you understand that if your relationship doesn’t work out over and over again, then it’s not a matter of curse or evil fate, but solely of your internal attitudes.
Only by qualitatively working through your condition and changing your subconscious programs will you stop repeating negative scenarios in your personal life. This means that you will soon be able to find a happy and lasting relationship with your chosen one.
Have you stepped on the same rake in relationships with men? Have you managed to change the situation on your own and improve your personal life? Be sure to share in the comments!
What should I do?
We all want to believe in the magic of love, but relationship psychology experts have long figured out the laws behind the appearance of butterflies in the stomach.
Of course, in relationships, most couples make do with intuition and “gut feeling,” but if that’s not enough, a few good tips will help get your relationship back on track.
Let's look at the main love problems that can threaten your marriage both 10 years and 1 year after marriage.
