The psychology of optimism is quite simple. After all, people who enjoy life do not embellish reality. They simply choose the best that life has to offer them .
Optimists are equated with titans who, at the cost of incredible efforts, ignore difficulties and put on a routine smile on their face. But is this really so?
How to learn to love, appreciate and respect yourself? Read about it here.
Definition and psychology
What is optimism?
Optimism is a view of reality, life and events, suggesting confidence in a better future and a positive outcome of difficult situations.
Optimists see the world as a certain form of perfection and goodness, on the basis of which they can realize all their dreams and desires.
Optimism can be blind and realistic. In the first case, faith in the positive nature of people and the world stems from an unwillingness to see the opposite.
In the second case, a person is simply ready to deal with difficulties and take advantage of the opportunities that the current moment gives him.
Meaning
Optimistic or optimistic outlook on life, what does it mean? Conventionally, the world can be divided into “black” and “white” .
People who have an optimistic outlook on life tend to focus on the “white,” or positive. And even in “black” or negative, they try to discern light shades.
An optimistic outlook on life does not mean that a person is divorced from reality and lives in a fantasy world . The whole point of a positive attitude is that a person finds a reason to smile in the external environment.
It finds, not invents . This is why the optimistic view tends to strengthen.
And if a person engages in positive self-deception, if “castles in the air” quickly break down against the cruel reality, which will lead to acute pessimism.
An optimistic outlook can be developed through long-term training. To do this, it is enough to understand the essence of the concept of “optimism” and, guided by the main points, develop sensitivity to everything that, upon closer examination, can become the basis for strengthening a positive position.
Top techniques
Morning practices
When you open your eyes in the morning, what happens first? Are you upset that it’s already morning and you haven’t been able to get enough sleep? Or is it time to go to work? Maybe you immediately grab your phone to find out news about events that happened while you were sleeping?
If any of the above takes place, then think about where a good mood comes from? How to draw energy from painful and sad thoughts? Where does the excitement and interest in how today will turn out and what new things it will bring come from?
So, make it a rule, when you wake up, to tell yourself something good that will make you smile and want to get out of bed. Such a mandatory morning appointment for necessary procedures, such as breakfast, brushing your teeth or taking a shower.
If you don’t know where to start, try these phrases: “Today is an amazing day, and I believe that something good will happen to me. Thank you to the Universe (Jesus, Allah, in general, who or what I want to thank) for the opportunity to see the sun’s rays, hug loved ones, feel the smell of my favorite bun and in general, for the fact that I am alive and can enjoy this day.”
Then, in front of the mirror, repeat the affirmations to give you confidence in your abilities, set yourself up for success, and so on. This will only enhance the effect. If you don’t know what kind of method this is, then it’s okay, look at this article.
Endorphins
Hormones of joy will significantly improve your mood. And you can get them by eating a piece of chocolate or playing sports. It is not recommended to abuse chocolate, otherwise the effect may be exactly the opposite, especially for women, when extra pounds accumulate, unless, of course, they are undesirable.
The best way to increase the level of these hormones is running, with its help you will also relieve tension, cope with anxiety and anger, so then, during relaxation, you will experience pleasant sensations, as well as pride in having completed the workout. And an additional bonus will be a fit figure and good health.
By the way, the main thing is not to overdo it, so as not to weaken yourself and completely deprive yourself of energy. If for some reason you can’t run, go to the pool, the effect is the same, plus take the extra load off your spine by floating on your back.
"Talismans"
Surround yourself with things that bring laughter, joy and other good feelings. Let's say, buy a funny cup, a calendar with your favorite cats or ferrets, put a frame with a photo in a prominent place where you are depicted happy... It is important that when you look around, you feel the urge to smile.
The more often you remember pleasant situations, the more often you will experience tenderness, touching, etc. As soon as you notice that you have stopped reacting, replace the photos with more recent ones, or, conversely, from the archive, then, by telling your guests the story of their creation, you will relive that moment that is so significant for you.
Positive attitude
Set yourself the task of finding positive, resourceful moments even in unpleasant events. Yes, life is complicated and constantly throws up surprises; no one in this world can afford to relax, being sure that nothing bad will happen to him. Stress and problems are constant daily companions of a living person. Yes, exactly alive, so when coping with one difficulty, rest assured that a new one will arise a little later.
And the difference between optimists and pessimists is how they approach their lives. You can even find the reason for a good mood in a drop of morning dew, just as you can be upset when you receive a gift that is not what you wanted. It is our attitude towards any events that determines the level of satisfaction with life.
Therefore, if you are used to devaluing, exaggerating and exaggerating, ask yourself why you need this? Why exactly did you decide to complicate your life? After which, in some cases even forcibly, sit down and write down at least 10 points, where you indicate the resources and opportunities that the past day has presented.
Even if you found out that your loved one betrayed you, would it be better to continue living with him, not suspecting that he does not value you or what he is capable of? Learn to transform events into positive ones, then over time, you will do this unconsciously, changing your attitude towards life itself.
Will Bowen Method
It consists in the fact that on the 21st day a person refuses criticism, negativity, complaints, quarrels, etc. He will have to control himself every time when, out of habit, he wants to be rude or shout. So, first come up with an incentive that motivates you to fulfill the conditions of this technique, and then put a bracelet on your hand. The description of the exercise says that the bracelet should be purple, but I want to note that this is not so important.
Instead, focus on changing your outlook and thinking by starting to appreciate every moment. If you still break the rules by lashing out at a child, a colleague, an unfamiliar salesperson in a store, or simply thinking about something bad, move this bracelet to your other hand and reset the result, even if you managed to withstand 20 days, then start the countdown again.
Make yourself happy every day
Otherwise, you will lose the taste of life, experiencing only stress. Even if you have to save on everything, allow yourself to buy at least some little thing, without putting it off until later, in case I suddenly pay off my debts, or earn a lot, a lot, and then... If you don’t have free time, find at least half an hour to do something desirable, not just useful and necessary. Live here and now, and not in the past or dreams of the future, this is very important.
So, after finishing reading the article, think about what you want at the moment, and go get it. Then a good mood will be guaranteed. It’s just important to take into account the reality of realizing a desire, it won’t work out like that and end up on the other side of the world, but it’s easy to rejoice like a child, kicking fallen leaves with your feet, or drinking a cup of delicious coffee. An article about how to live here and now will help you.
Surround yourself with fun people
Then you will unconsciously learn from them their experience of responding to different situations. Yes, sometimes we simply don’t know how to react to some event, and then we choose the usual way. But this is what other people in our lives are for, to help us find a more attractive and optimal way, to teach something and “open” our eyes to the obvious.
Humor
Train not only your brain, but also your sense of humor, especially if you lack it. You can do this by reading jokes, funny stories, stories. Switching attention to positive events relaxes, and laughter relieves tension, in some cases helping with painful sensations. Jokes with friends and loved ones, just be careful in using sarcasm so as not to ruin your relationship.
Smile
Psychology is an interesting science that has discovered that a person is able to influence his well-being with the help of quite simple techniques, for example, a smile. Yes, by smiling, you will “reconfigure” your consciousness to the positive, involuntarily starting to really experience pleasant emotions. You can learn more about such processes from the article here.
Memories
Close your eyes and imagine some episode from your life when you were happy. Try to reproduce all the nuances, remember the sensations and thoughts that arose at that moment. Even in therapy with couples who are in crisis on the verge of divorce, they offer a similar exercise.
But because it is effective and allows you to “get out of the mezzanine” long-forgotten knowledge about yourself, moments that previously gave you courage and allowed you to believe in good things. Therefore, couples, talking about how they met, got to know each other, what captivated them about each other, and so on, relive the emotions that arose 5-10 or even 30 years ago.
Who is an optimist in life?
From the outside it seems that an optimist is a person who never loses heart .
And even if he has completely inopportune problems with transport, he is late for an important meeting and also forgot his mobile phone at home, this will not at all darken the optimist’s routine joy. But actually it is not.
An optimist can become depressed, upset, and even cry. But at the same time he will believe in a better outcome and future prospects.
Yes, maybe things really aren't that good right now. But very soon the difficulties will be resolved, giving way to new joys.
An optimist views difficulties rather as tasks.
In his eyes, this is not a blow to pride, not an evil fate, and not some kind of universal injustice.
Every problem is an obstacle that requires the right approach and strategy to overcome it. So why be upset? He can step over depression and go straight to action.
The main question of an optimist is: “What can I buy?” Unlike pessimists, who consider losses, optimists focus on gains. They understand that any change in positions, circumstances and parties opens previously closed corridors that can be used.
Is it good to be them?
Optimism has both pros and cons . People who idealize the idea of an optimistic outlook on life are deeply mistaken.
pros:
- Optimists do not give up . The outcome of a situation always depends on how active a person is. And the optimist wins in this regard, since he will not wait for a successful combination of circumstances and will begin to act himself. At the same time, he will not be stopped by the fact that circumstances are not in his favor.
- Optimists tend to look at a problem through an analytical lens. They are not simply driven by the emotions that can surge at the sight of an impending crisis. They analyze the situation very carefully and in detail in order to grasp the pattern of its development and find the best way out.
- Optimists have weight in society. They attract people and can be great friends and leaders.
That is why they prefer to give leading positions to optimists; they are willing to help and try to establish contact. - Optimists are able to take risks. They, unlike pessimists and even realists, have faith in their own success. And even in case of failure, an optimist will be able to get out of the situation with dignity, turning it to his advantage.
- An optimist is a priori hardworking. After all, he has to resist every day the desire to give up all attempts and fall into the arms of depression. He also constantly takes more and more new steps to achieve his goal, without stopping in the face of difficulties. And there will be exactly as many attempts as it takes to overcome the obstacle.
- An optimist knows how to break ties with the past. He lets go of his failures and tries to use each new day as a chance to start over from scratch, while giving 100%. An optimistic person will not project past disappointments and failures onto current situations with similar variables.
Minuses:
- Conceit .
In some cases, belief in one's own success borders on arrogance. A person takes unjustified risks, fired up by the idea of success. He naively believes in a happy outcome, and when he realizes that he has not coped with the task, he cannot find a way out of the problem due to his lack of preparation for such a result. - An optimist is not prepared for failure . Maybe he's not afraid. But at the same time, he also does not consider the possibility that his idea or activity may fail. Therefore, any failure can take an optimist by surprise.
- One-sided view of the world. Very often, optimists ignore the obvious disadvantages of reality, the true (negative) nature of things and the negative sides of human characters. All this happens because the radical optimist ignores the facts and replaces them with a positive illusion.
- Excessive gullibility. Optimists are easy to exploit, fool, and deceive. After all, a person who holds an optimistic view does not suspect another person of selfish intentions. An optimist may well believe the ardent assurances and promises of a deceiver, becoming a victim of his own worldview.
- Suppression . Some optimists suppress negative emotions. Instead of looking for a reason to be happy, they simply lock away their sadness, anger, resentment and other feelings. All these unpleasant emotions disturb the radical optimist on a conscious and unconscious level, poisoning his life. But at the same time, he cannot give himself permission to broadcast “bad” feelings to the outside world.
- Pessimistic intolerance. Often optimists sin in that they cannot find a common language with pessimists and realists.
They get into arguments, actively promote their views, insist, or simply break ties with pessimists. This makes life very difficult for some representatives of an optimistic outlook, who, due to work obligations, cooperation or other factors, are forced to deal with people who are in a negative mood.
Optimistic mood
The world of a person’s emotions inherently includes his mood. We all want to know how to increase it in situations of fear, sadness and crisis. There are many simple methods and techniques to improve the mood of yourself and others. A person’s mood is how the person himself relates to his external and internal life situation as a whole, his emotional process in this situation. Oh, how often do we all need optimism? Optimism
is a philosophical doctrine according to which the existing world, despite all its shortcomings, is the best; that is, the most perfect of all possible, and everything that happens in it is directed towards the realization of good. Small Encyclopedic Dictionary of Brockhaus and Efron
We almost all know that in order to improve your mood, you need to start moving. Our physical and mental state improves if we walk, dance, do what we love, take spa treatments, massage, etc. Our mood is influenced by smell, color, sound, shopping, clothes, shoes, funny jokes and jokes, etc. If we put on something beautiful, add our favorite smells, turn on our favorite movie, a joyful song, then this will also lift our mood. Each of us can choose a method and technique that will help create the right mood and great mood. And also try to surround yourself with pleasant, positive people who know how to “infect” those around you with the desire to live cheerfully, cheerfully and start the business that you have been putting off for so long. I. Atwater and K. Duffy in their book “Psychology for Life. The ordering of the way of thinking, the development and behavior of a person of our day” write: “Martin Seligman (Seligman, 1988), like other psychologists, believes that it is not the events of our lives themselves that have a destructive influence on us. It is our opinion and interpretation of these events, as well as the reactions resulting from them, that most influence our lives. If people emphasize continuity (“it will last forever”), universality (“everything gets worse”), and internal character (“it’s me”) in their explanations for adverse events, then such people tend to prematurely lose control of their lives and It is ineffective to respond to favorable events when they occur. This is a phenomenon of learned helplessness
representing unjustified passivity, which often occurs when a person is faced with uncontrollable events.
Learned helplessness is associated with a host of disorders, including depression, academic failure, bureaucratic apathy, and early death. At the other extreme, people believe they have more control over their lives than they actually do. This happens when they are doing well and they exaggerate the amount of control they have. They trust the positive results of events more than they deserve; perhaps this is a way to increase self-esteem. In other cases, there is an illusion of control
, that is, confidence.
that under control are those events that in reality are determined by chance, for example, winning the lottery. The method of learned optimism is needed as an acceptable way to achieve optimal but realistic experienced control. A sense of optimism not only allows you to cope with despondency - it is necessary to achieve serious goals. Optimism
is one of the personality characteristics associated with good adjustment. Optimism correlates with the ability to solve problems well under stress, with the strength of the “I”, good physical health, an active desire to overcome difficulties and seek support when necessary, with general mental performance.
Acquired optimism can be learned. The main thing is to learn optimistic thinking in explaining existing facts and the current situation. Everything depends on our perception and adaptation. All .
explanations of the current situation are built by a person on three main categories:
constancy, generalization and personalization .
However, within each category there are two poles that are selected depending on whether you are dealing with a favorable or unfavorable event. Positive events should be interpreted in terms of their continuity, their universality and the fact that they are connected by our own efforts and not by external circumstances. While there are obvious benefits to using learned optimism, there are also challenges associated with it. For example, shifting from attributing reasons for failure to internal factors to external ones (“it wasn’t my fault, just bad luck”) can lead to a decreased sense of responsibility. Therefore, Seligman is not a supporter of a complete transition from internal explanations to external ones, although there is one condition when it is better to do this - depression. When people are depressed, they have a tendency to take more responsibility, or to be more precise, blame themselves more for adverse events than they should. In addition, if a person needs to change his explanatory style, then he should pay more attention to the category of “consistency” rather than to the category of “personalization”. If you believe that the cause of your troubles is stable, such as a lack of intelligence or talent, you will do nothing to change it. However, if you think the reason is changeable, such as not putting in too much effort or being in a bad mood, you can make changes. The main rule for determining a situation when one should not use an optimistic approach is to ask the question of what the price of failure will be in this situation” [pp. 351-356].
Mood
Material https://www.psychologos.ru/articles/view/nastroenie Do not allow yourself to be in a bad mood, it is indecent and harmful to health If the movements of emotions become smoother and therefore long-lasting, lasting and almost static, they speak of states and moods.
The state is about the objective, about the body. The mood is about the inner, about the soul. The eyes flashed with joy - emotion. This morning is permeated with light for you, joy has come to you and does not go away, it lives in calm, alternating waves - this is a calm state and a joyful mood. Mood is an imaged state of the soul, a person’s feelings or something spiritual (for example, the mood of a painting, melody, performance). The image of the mood can be general (“elevated”, “depressed” mood), or understood as a clearly identifiable state (boredom, sadness, melancholy, fear or, on the contrary, enthusiasm, joy, jubilation, delight, etc.). Mood can be fleeting; more often mood is spoken of as something lasting. “Emotions and feelings are associated with some object and directed towards it: we are happy about something, upset about something, worried about something. But when a person is in a joyful mood, he is not just happy about something, but he is happy - everything in the world seems joyful and beautiful. The mood is not objective, but personal; it is not about something specific, but a diffuse and general state. It is not a special experience confined to some particular event, but an diffuse general state.” — S.L. Rubinstein. Our mood is influenced by many factors: weather, well-being, hormonal levels, but if we want to manage our (or someone else’s) mood, it is more important to pay attention to the habits and internal benefits behind the mood. A common situation: the husband cheated, the wife suffers, walks around with a dead face and unhappy eyes. There is no mood, no strength, everything is terrible and everything is annoying. A simple analysis shows that this is not really a program, not exactly something that a woman cannot influence - more often it is a subconscious revenge on her husband and a half-conscious intention to extract more bonuses from the current situation. Make your husband guilty - and then use it. When and if a woman realizes this, she is quite capable of pulling herself together and not playing the more unfortunate victim. A tendency to change moods, especially to frequent and deep changes, is a sign of a Person of Mood (according to N.I. Kozlov) or a Labile type (according to A.E. Lichko). What to do about mood swings? See PMS and Labile type: how to work on yourself Manage your mood
Adults, developed, responsible people know how to manage their mood. It's not very difficult. A.S. Makarenko wrote in “Education in the Family and School”: “Some parents and teachers allow themselves the “luxury” of having their voice reflect their mood. This is completely unacceptable. You can be in any mood, but your voice should be real, good, firm. Your mood has nothing to do with your voice. Why do you know what my mood is now? Maybe I'm in grief. Or maybe I have some great joy. But I have to speak so that everyone will listen to me. Every parent, every teacher, before talking to a child, must twist himself a little so that all moods disappear. And it's not that difficult. After we lived in the forest for three years and there were bandits around us, what kind of mood could there be? What freedom can I give to my moods? I got used to managing my mood and found it very easy. You need to make sure that your face, your eyes, your voice are, in some cases, autonomous. In your soul, perhaps, cats are scratching and all sorts of other nasty things, but on the outside everything should be in perfect order, in full dress. The teacher is obliged to have a “parade on his face.” It is advisable that parents also have a “parade” on their faces. If a certain mood does not suit you, it can usually be changed immediately or gradually. There are many ways. The simplest thing is to replace a bad mood with a good one. Indeed, being in a traffic jam, you don’t have to get angry. You can turn on music, resolve issues over the phone, do facial exercises and stretch your voice... There are always many options, if you wish!
Man of moods
- one of the psychotypes in N.I. Kozlov’s classification.
An analogue of the Labile type in the Lichko classification. Portrait of a psychotype Ah, Ivanushka, you made me laugh!
Princess Nesmeyana, through tears We all come from childhood.
A man of mood, however, differs from the rest in that he remained like that in childhood. His soul is the soul of a child, it is bright, sincere, spontaneous and naive. In childhood, these children often suffered from infectious diseases: constant sore throats, colds, chronic pneumonia, there could be rheumatism, cholecystitis and other not terrible, but unpleasant things. They were not seriously ill, but the protracted and repeated form meant that someone close to them was always with them. To be a little naughty, to play a little - it was nice to babysit such a child. The child was loved and responded in kind. He has been sweet since childhood: he ran to his mother, so soulfully buried himself in her, hiding his eyes, and pressed him, hugging her... He complained, even tears came to his eyes! But the best part is that I quickly felt comforted under my mother’s warm words. And he blossomed with a smile... They nursed him, caught the slightest change in his mood and well-being, and he began to do the same. And, having matured, he became an eternal nanny to himself, dearly loved. It seems that he liked to bask in the bright childhood, but did not go into an adult, independent and responsible life. And now, every time, every minute, this nice big child allows himself to feel what he wants: when to be happy, when to be capricious or sad. This is his lifestyle, and it’s so easy to find reasons for any mood if desired! Inopportunely, it began to rain, a trolleybus drove off in front of my nose, and then a button came off - the mood was ruined. A pretty girl stood next to her, the sun came out, I saw a stunning orange peel on the gray asphalt - my soul was singing, I wanted to love everyone. Everything is easy: because the next time he wants to be sad and feel sorry for himself, he will find reasons for this “just once.” Like a sincere child, he experiences everything for real, from the heart and to the whole body: he easily loses sleep and appetite, his ability to work and simply his state of health changes dramatically. The mood changes - the world changes. He is on the rise - life is wonderful, he loves everyone and admires everyone. He’s not in a good mood, which means everything is bad, people are bastards, and he himself is a fool. He lives not with his head, but with his heart, and his heart rarely lets him down. He is intuitive, and when meeting people, he instantly feels a real attitude towards himself. What’s worse is that he also instantly and sincerely reacts to him...
And yet, the people around him, and especially his loved ones, treat him with sincere sympathy: after all, at heart he is a kind and warm person, he is not envious, not arrogant, grateful , appreciates a kind attitude towards himself, is open and cordial in communication.
At work he is just as pleasant and sweet, but if you need to work there, then he is essentially useless. Smiling confusedly or changing sadly, he will guiltily talk about the latest circumstances, sincerely sigh and promise that this is the last time - but you know that the case he failed is not the first and will not be the last. Such people do not set themselves big goals in life and, as long as life protects them, they live easily, catching the sun and sometimes fluttering like a leaf in the wind. However, they endure real losses hard, and in difficulties they cannot rely on them: they are not used to fighting. They can only worry and cry. It seems that at any age they believe that if they cry for a long time and bitterly, someone Very Big and Kind will definitely come and will certainly console them... (man-child) What to do?
If you observe the traits of a person of mood and want to correct your characteristics, then see Labile type: how to work on yourself.
Labile type and mood
Material https://www.psychologos.ru/articles/view/labilnyy_tip_i_nastroenie The main feature of the labile type is extreme variability of mood... We can talk about the emerging formation of a labile type in cases where the mood changes too often and too abruptly, and the reasons for these fundamental changes are insignificant. An unflattering word spoken by someone, an unfriendly look from a random interlocutor, an inopportune rainfall, or a button torn from a suit can plunge you into a dull and gloomy mood in the absence of any serious troubles or failures. At the same time, some pleasant conversation, interesting news, a passing compliment, a well-dressed suit for the occasion, heard from someone, although unrealistic, but tempting prospects can lift the mood, even distract from real troubles, until they remind you again anything about yourself. During a psychiatric examination, during frank and exciting conversations, when you have to touch on various aspects of life, over the course of half an hour you can see more than once tears ready to well up and soon a joyful smile. Mood is characterized not only by frequent and sudden changes, but also by their significant depth. Well-being, appetite, sleep, ability to work, and the desire to be alone or only with a loved one, or to rush into a noisy society, in company, with people, depend on the mood of a given moment. According to the mood, the future is either painted with rainbow colors, or appears gray and dull, and the past appears either as a chain of pleasant memories, or seems entirely consisting of failures, mistakes and injustices. The same people, the same environment seem either sweet, interesting and attractive, or boring, boring and ugly, endowed with all sorts of shortcomings.
How to cheer yourself up when everything around you is “bad”
Author: Irina Belomaz. Source - School of Life The mood is at zero, I don’t want anything - loved ones are annoying, loneliness is oppressive... Everything is seen in shades of gray - the weather, passers-by, and yesterday’s plans. We got up on the wrong foot in the morning, our rose-colored glasses fell somewhere, we haven’t seen them for a long time... Fatigue, minor troubles (like mosquitoes - small, annoying and they come in numbers). A bad mood has different roots, but what’s offensive is that it often happens to us for no apparent reason, out of nowhere. And it’s good if it’s just for a minute - I made myself a cup of coffee or talked on the phone with a friend for ten minutes, and let it go. What if it’s protracted? Life goes on, but for you it stands still, “because everything around is bad and tomorrow it will be exactly the same.” Or maybe it’s time for you to wait for a visit from a very unpleasant lady whose name is depression? However, there are a lot of ways that are accessible and easy to implement so that your mood level skyrockets. It’s like in treatment – the main thing is to choose the right one. Some of the methods are available at any time, while others can become part of your daily routine and significantly enrich your supply of positive energy. Well, first of all, let's start with a question. Did you get enough sleep? Lack of sleep does terrible things to people. What kind of mood is there when, like Napoleon, you sleep three or four hours a day? I remember a young mother I knew, who, loaded with everyday responsibilities of raising, cleaning and cooking, went on a trip to Karlovy Vary as a gift from her relatives, but not in order to enjoy the contemplation of architectural monuments or drink plenty from the local healing springs. Sleeping in a hotel for two weeks is where happiness lies! Are you awake? For the hundredth time, but most importantly, don’t forget about physical activity, simply exercise. At first it’s lazy, but upon completion you feel such a surge of vivacity and energy that you wonder - maybe I’ll repeat it tomorrow? Cheers to your health! But if lost mood and apathy have resulted in invincible laziness, and you have no time for exercise at all, acupressure will help. Using your index finger, lightly press on the third eye area, massage the groove under the nose, earlobes and center of the chin, the first phalanx of the thumb and middle finger of each hand - clockwise and counterclockwise, nine times. Many people, especially women, like to take antidepressants. However, tablets are still tablets. It is better to resort to such measures when other methods have been tried and the situation is approaching a critical point. A momentary bad mood is not at all a reason to resort to medication. And if you have to choose, then take a closer look at homeopathic, herbal preparations - and do this only after consulting a doctor, and not succumb to advertising from the mouth of a friend - what she drinks, and what life is like for her now in “pink-green-blue”... And Music may be a much more successful “pill.” Just choose the “medicine” wisely. That’s how a person is made, if he is melancholic and closed in on his misfortunes, he is tempted to listen to something mournful and aching for his already exhausted heart. Problems get worse, the music makes you feel even more sorry for yourself, you feel so unhappy and lonely, you have no strength - what a good mood that can be. So, in defiance of your current state, charge yourself with a whole cocktail of major chords, more cheerful, more energetic... It’s somehow... completely uncomfortable to sit and be sad while listening to such music. Why should a bad mood create comfortable conditions? The next “tablet” is a diary of joyful events. Don’t be lazy, get yourself one - write down fragments of life that pleasantly surprised you, made you laugh, and brought you a lot of pleasure. Describe your feelings, experiences, convey colors! Let it be an extreme bungee flight in the fight against the fear of heights, or a fun vacation on the occasion of defending your diploma, or an amazing gift given to you on your birthday that you will never forget. Or maybe... some mind-bogglingly ridiculous and funny act of your best friend, at which you have been laughing for weeks. Remember, in difficult days for you, this book will become a real lifeline. Just open it and smile. By the way, have you tried to smile in the most difficult moments - just like that, even if there is absolutely no reason for it? In vain. After all, these muscles instinctively stretch in us thanks to certain positive information. This means that if you (try to imagine in reverse order) force yourself to smile, you will involuntarily begin to attract this positive information, memory will do its job. Tested - it works! Also, try to pour out your negative mood on paper - write a poem or draw a self-portrait, or... your future, as you would like to see it - whatever! A bad mood simply cannot stand creative concentration on anything. At first, you will have to force yourself, and then you will get involved and within half an hour you will look at the world differently - it turns out that it is not at all monochromatic! By the way, I found some rose-colored glasses, they’re cute! And how they got there - perhaps next time we should be more careful...
Bad mood
Material https://www.psychologos.ru/articles/view/plohoe_nastroenie The mood can be bad.
But then it gets better! You can’t show a bad mood, says Evelina Khromchenko, host of the “Fashionable Sentence” program and editor of L’Officiel magazine. “It’s my deep conviction that you should never let yourself go,” says Evelina in an interview with the website zn.by. - You must always be in shape. You can't appear in bad condition. Especially to family and friends. They get scared. And enemies, on the contrary, experience happiness. Therefore, no matter what happens, you definitely need to think about how you look. For the life of me, I don’t remember who gave me such advice, but I will be grateful to this smart man all my life. The advice is this: if you want to cry, fold your lips into a smile, the muscles will send a signal to the brain, it will release a dose of the joy hormone - and immediately let go. This is true. Try it! A bad mood is a negative reaction to what is happening. In a mild form - extinguishing one’s interest and vitality, in a sharp form - a demonstration of one’s dissatisfaction and attempts to ruin the mood of others. Essentially, a protest against what is happening. Reason for a bad mood
We ruin our mood (and present it in the passive voice as “our mood has spoiled”) when: · there is a lot in what is happening that does not suit us, · we have a tendency to be in a bad mood, · there is an interest (hidden benefit) in ruining your mood.
Psychoanalysis
1. The habit of spoiling one’s mood is a reflection of the negative nature of our Russian culture. The general spirit of our culture is such that, other things being equal, we tend to get upset rather than get together.
Even joy is often expressed in the form of “It’s terrible how I missed you!” 2. Display of bad manners. The habit of spoiling one's mood is formed in childhood as a desire to get more attention or to insist on one's interests. Children's logic: “If I feel bad, you, mom, should help me and stop demanding from me. Do you see how upset I was when you started scolding me? So, don’t scold.” With good upbringing, the habit of spoiling one's mood changes to the habit of being cheerful and caring. 3. Manifestation of poor health or laziness. We spoil our mood more often when we don’t feel like doing something. Consequences of a bad mood
The mood of those around you spoils (those around you in return spoil their own mood).
When to ruin your mood?
Only when it is justified pedagogically.
For example, using the “Psychotherapeutic Mirror” technique. Related concepts
Objection Material https://www.psychologos.ru/articles/view/vozrazhenie Objection is a negative reaction to what the interlocutor said. In a mild form - an expression of disagreement with the interlocutor, in a sharp form - crossing out the said meaning, protesting against what was said and expressing an opposing opinion. The usual direct objection (“You’re wrong, you’re wrong, that’s not true”) usually turns out to be a conflict generator. If the objection is also categorical and unreasonable (“You’re wrong, and why is none of your business.” “I said no!”), such an objection already sounds like rudeness. Empty objections are meaningless - objections that are not relevant and do not contain specifics. On the other hand, well-mannered people know how to object gently, politely (“Unfortunately, I cannot agree with you yet.” “Your point of view is interesting to me, but not very clear.” “Perhaps I misunderstood something”), and the like objections speak more about respect for another point of view and a desire to understand the person. Objection as disagreement with something that does not suit you is a natural reaction of a self-respecting person, but the tendency to object is rather a bad habit, a manifestation of bad manners and lack of psychological culture↑. Well-mannered people are not afraid to object; if necessary, they do it confidently and forcefully, but if possible, they try to understand their interlocutor and avoid objections. "Interesting. I have a different point of view, but I’ll be happy to listen to you.” How to object correctly? - If you don’t want disputes and quarrels, then do it as little as possible. It is better to first find points on which you can agree, and then correctly state your point of view. If you master the Total YES technique, you will not only maintain your relationships with people, but also become more effective. Before objecting, make sure that you understand the interlocutor correctly. Retell what he said in your own words and ask - did you understand him correctly? The next point, even before your objection, agree that his position is reasonable: “Yes, you are right - in this and that.” If you are talking with a reasonable person, there should be something reasonable in his position. This is reasonable - and mark it. Only after this can you object, or rather, express your point of view without categoricalness and emphasizing that this is only your point of view. Your emphasized respect for the position of your interlocutor, as a rule, causes him to have a similar attitude towards you. Justify your objection if you are interested in continuing the conversation. If you are not interested, thank your interlocutor and change the topic. In any case, keep the inner Good. What the other person thinks is his business, and you have every opportunity to live your own wonderful life. Yes? If you want to convince a person of something, it is more effective to start from his point of view and formulate your position - without disputes or objections. Pay attention to the technique Repeat, agree, add - an effective format for discussing controversial, difficult issues, both in the family and between employees at work. Criticism Plus-help-plus - this is not exactly about an objection, but sometimes it works even better. If the point of view of your interlocutor is not close to you, even if the person said something completely stupid (in your understanding), it is not at all necessary to voice it - why? Neutral “interesting!” or switching the conversation to another topic may be more appropriate solutions. Another thing is a situation of public confrontation, a situation of polemics. Strong objections in polemics are valued, but manipulation and distortion will reduce your status.
Work with objections
Experienced people do not work with objections, but try to get around them. And bypass not objections, but doubts. And to be completely precise, dispel doubts. Everyone has doubts. Doubt is an opportunity to build a dialogue, not a way of defense.
