Indecision is the inability to make decisions, translate them into actions, and bear responsibility for the result. Any person in certain circumstances can experience uncertainty and indecision. But when this condition becomes the norm, there is a psychological problem.
In this article, we have collected possible reasons for indecisiveness. They told us what signs one can use to recognize an indecisive person and what problems this condition leads to in life.
What are the signs by which you can recognize an indecisive person?
What is indecisiveness: Causes, signs, consequences Photo: Depositphotos
An indecisive person is an insecure person with all the inherent qualities. These are the signs by which indecision can be recognized.
- A person is more often silent, even if he does not agree with the interlocutor. He does not know how to defend his point of view.
- Does not express a personal attitude to events. The speech is neutral, it does not contain his own emotions and feelings. After all, indecision is a consequence of a neurotic disorder. And such people have no contact with their feelings.
- Compares himself to others unfavorably.
- It is difficult to make contact with strangers. Insecure people are subconsciously afraid of making a bad impression.
- Avoids making decisions. An indecisive person tends to shift responsibility to others. It is easier for him to follow other people's advice than to make his own choice.
- An indecisive person may change his mind at the last moment.
- Depends on the approval of others. For this reason, he does not do what he wants, but what is expected of him. Often even to the detriment of their interests and plans.
- A person has no clear direction in life. He doesn't know what he wants and how to achieve it.
- Doesn't know what's best for him and relies on other people's opinions. If there are many options, it can be easy to get confused and not make a decision at all.
- Often uses the words “maybe”, “not sure”, “maybe”, “I doubt it”.
Practical exercises for the indecisive person
For indecisive people, it will be useful to carry out the following practical exercise.
Write your immediate wishes or goals in your notebook, and opposite each one, write down the events on which you should make the main choice, and the positive and negative prospects that accompany them. You need to do this calmly and not give in to unnecessary emotions.
Then compare one and the other goals based on their pleasant and unpleasant prospects. We need to evaluate which of them are most achievable. This is how you train to control your own willpower and determination. This greatly helps to concentrate on pleasant prospects and find strength to deal with possible obstacles.
The easier this process becomes, the faster the internal psychological strength that motivates a person to action will accumulate.
Further according to a similar scheme. Opposite each event, it is necessary to indicate what hinders and, conversely, favors the implementation of each of them. If there is an underestimation of the influence of circumstances that have a favorable impact, and an overestimation of emerging obstacles, then a person may consider himself indecisive.
The ability to find more favorable circumstances always characterizes a person as an optimist. When a person sees only obstacles and situations, he can be considered a pessimist.
When there is a character trait that helps to neutralize obstacles or derive benefit and experience from them, then the person is an optimist and a realist at the same time. Such people become the most decisive compared to others.
What's really behind the indecisiveness?
Indecisiveness is a companion to neurotic disorders, a defensive reaction to undesirable consequences. I’ll say it, what if it’s out of place and I’ll look stupid? What if I do something wrong and end up guilty?
A person strives in any way to throw off responsibility, including for his actions - after all, if something happens, retribution will inevitably come. Otherwise, someone else or circumstances will be to blame.
Indecision is a desire for security: initiative is punishable, do not interfere - you will be safer.
Indecisiveness hides unresolved internal conflicts. They are the ones who do not allow you to move forward, slow you down, and deprive you of self-confidence. These problems did not arise out of nowhere. There are many reasons that lead people to this state.
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Reasons for indecisiveness
What is indecision: Causes, signs, consequences Photo: Depositphotos
They are different. Sometimes the reasons for indecisiveness stretch back to childhood. Sometimes this is a consequence of stressful situations. Here are the most common ones.
Childhood
If parents overprotect the child, do not take into account his opinion, do not teach him and do not allow him to make decisions on his own, this skill will not appear by itself in adulthood. The person does not realize that now he must be responsible for his own choices.
Anxious parents who dramatize any events also do their child a disservice.
The other extreme is childhood trauma. When a child is forced to make decisions on his own, but is punished if he makes a mistake, he develops an insecure personality. She is subconsciously afraid and avoids making any decisions.
Perfectionism
Perfectionists have difficulty making choices because they strive to do everything perfectly. And if they are not sure of the result, they doubt it and refuse to act. The fear of making a mistake prevents you from making decisions.
By the way, the reasons for perfectionism itself also come from childhood.
Too many choices
When there are only two options, choosing is easy. But if you have to choose from several perspectives, you need to calculate all the results and consequences. And this is much more difficult to do. Therefore, many people find it difficult to choose when there are many options.
Diffidence
Unconfident people are indecisive. They do not strive to succeed in life. They do not defend their point of view, even if they are right - they are afraid of spoiling their opinion of themselves, offending them or becoming an object of criticism. They find it difficult to establish relationships. After all, they doubt their attractiveness and are afraid of not being liked or causing ridicule.
Procrastination
This is a state where a person systematically puts things off, even despite negative consequences. Procrastination is often triggered by self-doubt, perfectionism, low self-esteem, unresolved internal problems and lack of motivation. This whole set is inherent in indecisive people.
Lack of motivation
As a rule, indecisive people have no motivation or insufficient motivation to move towards their goal. And the goal itself may not exist. That is, a person is not interested in making decisions and taking responsibility for the result.
7. Lack of awareness, lack of information
Often the reason for indecision lies in the lack of necessary information. For example, an employee does not know how much demand there is in the labor market, so he is afraid to ask for a salary increase. But if he knows that his competitors value his work more highly and are ready to cooperate with him, he will most likely overcome his indecision and talk to his boss.
Depression and loss of interest in life
This is a painful condition that occurs as a result of prolonged stress. Depression causes a person to lose interest in life. He doesn't care what happens around him. There is no talk of any decisions or responsibility for their results.
Definition of the concept
Indecisiveness is a lack of confidence in one’s abilities and in the correctness of decision-making. Indecisiveness is a character trait that occurs in every person from time to time. It is normal for any individual to have certain doubts when making a decision. While some overcome their indecision by choosing their own path, others create a huge problem out of this, which grows over time, plunging a person into a stupor, absorbing him entirely.
Considering indecision from a psychological point of view, there are two aspects of it:
- the basis of indecision is lack of self-confidence and self-confidence;
- an individual’s tendency to worry and worry about perceived problems in the near future.
If indecision haunts everyday life and prevents you from making even the most basic decisions, then there is a psychological problem that manifests itself as a result of the presence of an incorrect worldview. A person who cannot make a choice himself finds himself under the power of other people who make decisions for him. These are not always family members; they can be an authoritative friend, a boss, or even a program on a mobile device.
When someone else makes a decision for an indecisive person, he seems to be making his fate easier, but at the same time doing a disservice, because sooner or later there will come a time when there will be no people nearby who can help in making a decision.
What problems do indecisive people face?
What is indecisiveness: Causes, signs, consequences Photo: Depositphotos
People who rely on other people's opinions and shift responsibility for their actions to others face big problems in life. And they cause a lot of problems for others.
A person’s uncertainty and indecision is visible to the naked eye - this attracts swindlers of all stripes, sectarians. A person who relies on other people's opinions and thoughtlessly follows other people's advice is an easy prey for attackers.
Indecisive people miss opportunities. While they are in doubt, others are hired for high-paying jobs, and other people’s families move into their dream home. A person's indecision limits his prospects in any area - from career to romantic relationships.
An indecisive person strives to get away from problems - to simply pretend that they do not exist. But if problems are not solved, they accumulate and the situation gets worse. This leads to constant stress, and depression is just around the corner with all its “charms” - decreased vitality, chronic fatigue and lack of energy, a feeling of hopelessness and impasse, and accompanying illnesses.
Women are forgiven for being insecure, but men are condemned for this quality. Living with the stigma of being a loser is hard for anyone.
Indecision is clearly manifested in everyday life: it is difficult to make a purchase, choose a gift, or decide what to wear. Indecisive people have a hard time parting with old things. They cannot break off relationships, even if they are painful.
“Interest” technique – how to get rid of indecision and fear (video)
When a feeling of anxiety and fear overtakes and haunts for a long time, a person becomes indecisive. And over time, these feelings will take all your strength and energy and completely destroy your entire mood. There is a solution to the problem - we need to find and destroy the root of the problem. This video will help.
Respected people are determined people
When making decisions, you need to convince yourself that the choice you made is correct, this will strengthen your own self-esteem, and bring joy and satisfaction from a sense of independence. Indecision will visit you less and less.
Therefore, it will not take long to receive well-deserved respect from friends, colleagues and management. Which always values in its employees the ability to make quick decisions. Helping the person to develop in his position and the company of which he is an employee, together with him.
Summarize
The cause of pathological indecisiveness is mental disorders. Their roots often go back to childhood. Overprotection and improper upbringing lead to the fact that people in adulthood do not know how to make decisions, are afraid of consequences, and become perfectionists.
Mental disorders can be caused by bad experiences or depression. Indecision is added to neuroses as a “bonus”.
It’s hard for an indecisive person not only at work, where you need to solve problems quickly and efficiently. He also suffers in everyday life - he constantly gets stuck on little things, and life turns into sheer stress. These people not only suffer themselves, but also cause problems for others - after all, they shift responsibility for their lives onto the shoulders of others.
Material prepared by: Alexander Sergeev Cover photo: Depositphotos
How to resist
- First of all, you need to realize that you have indecision. It is also important to determine where it comes from and what provokes it.
- If in childhood your parents constantly made decisions and did not allow you to be independent, then you need to realize that now you are already an adult, and you yourself must be responsible for your life. If in your current family, besides you, there are still children or other people who need your care and protection, then even more so, you should understand that only you can bear this burden now.
- Pay attention to your self-esteem and improve it. Indecision is often caused by uncertainty, which means you need to work on yourself.
- At the moment when you are faced with any choice, you need to look at the whole problem. Consider all aspects, pros and cons of each option, think through everything.
- You can learn to set time limits for making decisions. You can’t put off making a choice until later, otherwise you run the risk of never coping with your problem.
- Accustom yourself to the fact that people tend to make mistakes; the choice made is not always truly correct, but there is nothing to worry about. Here comes the emergence of experience that will allow you to avoid making mistakes in the future and will teach you how to act correctly next time. A person who is inactive is afraid of possible failures, simply stands still, does not move forward, and this is much worse than the first option. It is also worth understanding that no one will punish you for mistakes.
- Learn to trust your intuition. Very often the correct option is the one that first comes to mind. When you are faced with a choice between several options and you cannot decide, close your eyes and try to imagine the correct one. The first thing that comes to mind will probably be correct.
- If you are a perfectionist, learn to confront your nature. Remember that perfectionism also gives rise to increased anxiety, significantly worsening the quality of life of any person. It is necessary to understand that there are no ideal people, everyone can make mistakes and it is better to try to take some action than to sit, afraid of not doing this or that task perfectly.
- Learn to prioritize. When you have too many choices, you have to cut them down. After all, it is much easier to decide on one of two or three options than with ten.
- If you're faced with a big choice and you're terrified that you'll make a mistake, make a backup plan. You can think about how you will behave in a situation if the choice you make is wrong.
- It is extremely important that when evaluating options, you are guided only by your own opinion, and do not listen to anyone. If, due to some circumstances, it is difficult for you to make a decision without anyone’s advice or help, then you can turn to your loved ones for advice.
- If you can’t cope with your indecision on your own, you need to contact a psychotherapist or psychologist who will understand the root cause of this condition, teach you how to resist it, and how to build your life in the future.
Now you know how to overcome indecision in yourself or your loved ones. It is necessary to understand that insecure people who always have difficulty making decisions make their lives more difficult. It is important to know how to resist this quality, how to find the strength to be a decisive person, not to give up what you want, and not to be afraid to take justifiable risks.
