Society12/25/2014
© www.beliefnet.com
You probably know those people who seem to be so charming that everyone without exception likes them. An amazing personality trait, usually called charisma, is difficult to define, however, this does not mean that this mysterious quality cannot be developed in oneself. There would be a desire! To help you, we have compiled a list of actions that will support and strengthen your charisma and self-confidence.
Master the “art of intimacy”
"Intimacy" is the most important aspect of charisma. Essentially, this is the ability to show your interlocutor that all your attention is focused on him.
In fact, the art of intimacy emphasizes one simple thing to always remember when developing charisma: you are in the background.
When you think of charisma, you can think of it as an attempt to, as they say, “present yourself,” to make a competent self-presentation. However, the paradoxical secret of charisma is that the main task here is not to trumpet everyone about your wonderful qualities, but to make people feel great around you.
True charisma is directed not inward to the individual, but outward, into the world. True, we all love ourselves very much, and we like to talk about ourselves. The people in your life who you find likable and charismatic are the ones who allow you to be yourself and talk about yourself. So be more positive, put your ego aside and turn all your attention to your interlocutor.
It's really very simple.
Pay attention to every word coming out of the other person's mouth. Imagine that you are watching an interesting film, or reading a book, and gradually getting to know the main character better. The most important thing here is to listen and not think about what you will say when he finishes.
© vysotsky.ucoz.es
How to get attention from parents?
Our parents raise us from childhood, we get used to them and trust them completely. And when we do not receive due attention from them, we feel insecure and even unprotected, which greatly affects our self-esteem. So use the following tips to win them over.
1. Try to have a frank conversation with your parents and tell them how much you miss them. Explain to them that right now you need their attention and care.
2. Together remember funny incidents from your childhood and talk about them. Think about times when your parents were very worried about you, for example when you got lost. This will bring back warm memories and have the desired effect.
3. Tell your parents your deepest secrets. They will understand that you trust them and may share theirs, thereby strengthening the bond between you.
4. In your free time, invite your parents to take a walk with you, go to the cinema, or a cafe. Surely they will not refuse and you will spend time together, which will bring you even closer.
5. Do not refuse your parents your help, but it is best to take the initiative yourself. Then they will have free time to spend with you.
6. Listen to what your parents tell you. Perhaps you should take their advice and change? As you know, parents want only the best for their child.
Master the art of conversation
First of all, decide what you want and don't want to say. When in the middle of a conversation there is something that makes you embarrassed, the tone of the conversation may change or even the conversation will simply end if your interlocutor is tactful and does not want to make you awkward.
Good communicators also know how to raise those around them to their level. Talk and share your experience. Use humor, refer to quotes, read the book “How to become an interesting conversationalist.”
And last but not least: the ability to ask questions. People like to be heard. The one who asks the questions usually controls the meeting. Plus, asking the right question can reveal more about the depth of your knowledge than annoying boasting.
Many books are devoted to the ability to ask the right questions, but we want to especially about Jim Camp. This author has built one of the most effective negotiation systems, one of the main aspects of which is the ability to ask the interlocutor the right questions.
Imagine yourself as a talk show host. These shows are hosted by nice, charismatic, charming and funny people, but most of the time they do nothing but ask questions. Because charisma is mostly about listening to others, not about talking about yourself.
© www.drafthouse.com
Seventh incentive: “Unpredictability”
If incentives don't help us achieve our goals, we begin to ignore them. A great example is banner advertising. At first it was noticeable and worked great, but over time, most users developed “banner blindness.” To overcome this barrier we need something unpredictable. Here are two tips: Taboo and Novelty.
7.1. Taboo
Taboo words attract more attention than any other emotional words. This category includes "Sex", "swearing", "profanity".
These techniques work better by ear, for example, some speakers maintain attention by cursing someone.
7.2. Novelty
Today, the child sees more and more new and unusual than familiar images. Our ancestors had a better chance of surviving because... they usually dealt with the same things and were wary of anything new. Therefore, novelty is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, novelty attracts attention. But on the other hand, people don’t like new things and avoid them. Exit? Combining familiar stimuli to create something new:
Consider anthropomorphism. This concept gives human qualities to inanimate objects or animals.
The end result is a new stimulus, thus capturing attention. However, the core components are familiar, thus maintaining a favorable rating. Habituation also occurs with requests. Over time, we develop a standard denial. If a passerby asks for money, most people will immediately refuse. This is a reflex. However, the researchers discovered an interesting pattern. They received more money when they asked for a non-standard amount, such as 37 kopecks rather than 25 or 50.
Practice effective eye contact
Sometimes good eye contact helps in communication better than any words. Proper eye contact can show that you are listening, that you are interested, and that you understand the other person as a person.
A gaze directed at the floor or a wandering gaze shows that the interlocutor is not interesting to you and that your attention is focused on something else.
Training eye contact is difficult, but still possible. Try holding eye contact for a second longer than usual. How does this make you feel? How does your interlocutor feel? Remember: there are plenty of opportunities to try this. Train on waiters, bartenders, cashiers.
Over time, you will begin to get a feel for what works and what doesn't.
When making eye contact, it is important how long it lasts. If you are unsure of yourself and don't know how to start, try focusing on the color of your interlocutor's eyes. Try to notice the eye color of every person you interact with and make it a habit. This is the type of eye contact that will help you appear more confident without sounding weird.
Nonverbal means of communication can be divided into four groups:
- Expressive movements - gait, facial expressions, posture, gestures.
- Visual contact – frequency and duration of visual interaction, direction of gaze.
- Tactile movements are the use of the senses of touch. This includes handshakes, kisses, and touching various parts of the interlocutor’s body.
- Movements in space - distance from the interlocutor, orientation, place at the table, etc.
It is through these non-verbal means that we convey the information that we want to broadcast to the audience. And it is this information that either attracts attention or remains of little significance to the audience.
Charismatic, attention-grabbing people are usually friendly and well-meaning. Their friendliness is expressed in gestures, in posture, in the energy they emit, how they present themselves, and what they say in body language. We see them as energetic, confident, friendly people who smile, are eager to communicate, and have an open body language.
Organic Woman online course
Even more about relationships, about how to find yourself without “hurting” those around you, about taking care of yourself and others - in the Organic Woman course.
More about the course
Use your body to express emotions
Use your own body to emphasize and intensify sensations and emotions: gesticulate, smile, be animated, but do not overdo it: do not spin around like a spinning top. Simply emphasize your positive emotions from communication with facial expressions and gestures.
And a few more words about bad types of expressive behavior. For example, nodding is a great way to show someone that you are listening. But too many nods are bad; it’s better to do nothing at all. Because in this case, the interlocutor will quickly understand that you are only trying to show that you are listening, after which he will feel stupid.
© www.beliefnet.com
Fourth stimulus: “Animals”
You've probably heard the joke: if you want to attract more attention, place a cat. And what's most amazing is that it still works. Our ancestors simply needed the skill of quickly recognizing animals, especially predators. And we have inherited these mechanisms. No particular animal captures our attention completely and 100%, just like faces and bodies, we recognize geometry. However, some animals attract more attention than others (more on that later).
If in doubt, “mirror”
“Mirroring” is the easiest way to add charisma to yourself. Match the other person's demeanor and level of expression and you will see how well they begin to respond to it. You don't need to agree with everything your interlocutor says or does, just try to behave and act the way he does.
You can also try to “mirror” useful qualities that you see in others. In general, when it comes to charisma, observing others becomes the main tool and success factor. Take a closer look and adopt. After all, this is how children learn basic life skills from adults—through copying.
Feel free to use this method. Copying can even give you additional confidence: by feeling “in someone else's shoes,” you will automatically look at the world from a slightly different angle.
Humor and freedom
This is one of the oldest and most effective ways to get strangers to communicate. Allow yourself to joke and be more free in your behavior. This way to attract attention is much better than if in a conversation with a person you are “Miss or Mr. Seriousness,” because it costs nothing to just smile when talking with another person, especially if this person is not indifferent to you. Even a simple and casual joke on your part can very easily turn the conversation with this person in your direction.
Movement
Imagine that you need to force someone to stare at a point on the wall.
This is almost impossible: our eyes constantly want to move, slide from one object to another. And trying to hold your gaze will most likely make you want to sleep. To capture attention, you need movement. Both in the literal sense - walking around the audience or stage, and figuratively - moving from one topic to another. Even if you need to dwell on a certain issue for a long time, periodically touch on abstract topics and tell stories from your life. This will make it easier to listen to you.
How to attract friends to VK and first subscribers with competitions
To guarantee attracting new friends, organize a contest! But remember, the conditions should be simple and the prize worthwhile. The principle of the event is simple:
- Come up with conditions. In other words, select the action that you will need to take to take part in the competition: for example, repost, like, comment;
- Set the dates for the competition. Do not get carried away with a large number of days, 1 - 2 weeks will be enough;
- Choose a worthy prize. The more valuable it is, the million times more interested and active subscribers will be;
- Place an advertisement. Use self-promotion, the guest post method or any other, the main thing is that as many people as possible should know about your competition;
- Sum up the results and award the prize to the winner.
Creating and holding any competition takes a lot of effort, but the result is worth it. If you conduct them every month, there will be no problem with how to attract subscribers to VK online.
What do 100, 1000 or more VKontakte subscribers give for a page?
If you have a decent number of live subscribers on VK with a guarantee, you become the happy owner of many useful functions for your profile. Let's see what "buns" are available at specific numbers:
- 100 users. Page statistics become available to you: “Reach”, “Attendance” and “Activity”. Now you can track the reach of your audience, its number, and even the gender, age and location of subscribers;
- 1000 users. Congratulations, you have become a popular user and your profile is listed in the “Interesting Pages” section. This works like a small VK advertisement, so expect a small influx of new friends;
- 10,000 users. Now you can track the statistics of likes, reposts, VK comments and more. This will be a great help in monitoring your strengths and weaknesses. Also, having 10,000 subscribers or more gives a good bonus when applying for verification.
So, there is only one conclusion - the more you invest in the development of your VK profile initially, the greater the reward in the future. And now, having read the entire article on Pricesmmcom, you not only know many working solutions for attracting new subscribers, but also own many other secrets.
About choosing friends
They say you don't choose your friends. But this is only relevant for children who were placed in the same kindergarten group or school class. An adult can already make a choice and independently decide with whom to communicate and whom to keep at a distance.
Sociologists have conducted many studies on how the environment influences a person. I will not delve into this issue now: you can read it in more detail in a separate publication.
Here I will just cite one idea that was voiced in her book by scientific journalist and author of popular American publications Lydia Denworth. She argues that the right friendships affect all areas of a person's life, including health. Everything changes - from the cardiovascular system and immunity to the quality of sleep and brain performance.
Need I mention that social connections largely determine how successful a person is. And this is not a matter of commercialism.
The recommendations that I will give below will help you learn to be more careful when choosing new friends, as well as take an “inventory” of your existing ones:
- The first rule is to choose those who reciprocate your feelings. There are things that do not depend on your desire or the efforts you can make. This applies to any relationship, be it friendship or love. If a person is hostile towards you, if he hates you and does not accept you, if you took a few steps towards the person, but he remained standing in place or openly shows that he does not want to communicate with you, move on. You shouldn't care why they don't want to be friends with you. You're just not on your way. Dot.
- Try to avoid toxic people whose interests are limited to throwing mud at others or complaining about problems of various sizes. Time is a non-renewable resource. Do you want to spend it on those who regularly supply you with negativity and pessimism? It happens that such a person turns out to be a childhood friend. Remember: it’s okay if your paths suddenly diverge. Give thanks to your past and go find a more inspiring social circle.
- Stay away from those who try to belittle your abilities, talents, ambitions, who constantly criticize and try to impose their way of life. Friends should support and help you grow, not roll your self-esteem into the asphalt.
- Choose sincere ones. Someone who just wants to be there and wishes you happiness does not interfere with expressing his individuality, does not try to use and does not look for a million excuses to refuse help.
- Don't write off people who aren't like you or who don't seem right for you at first glance. They can expose you to other points of view and teach you to see things you didn't notice before.
Surprise
Repeated things make us bored. People who tell the same stories, politicians who use the same arguments, make you want to be distracted by something else.
To be perceived with interest, leave room for secrets. Change the chronology of the story, keep listeners guessing what will happen next. Start from afar, draw unusual parallels, pretend that you are leading to one outcome, and suddenly turn to another.
As you reread your speech, figure out what your listeners will expect at any given moment—and subvert those expectations.
How to attract VK people quickly - sites with cheap prices
There are many resources where you can quickly attract an audience to VK from scratch. I won’t list everything on Pricesmm; I’ll leave you with the top ten top Russian sites:
- doctorsmm.com is a very inexpensive site, where the price for a standard subscriber starts at 14 kopecks per person. Also, the service of receiving VK friends with activity is available here. Its cost is only 68 rubles/100 units;
- prtut.ru - on this service, for 300 subscriptions to the VK page, it is proposed to pay only 150 rubles. And also, a free bonus for this service includes as many as 150 “hearts” for any entry in VK;
- avi1.ru - here, 100 VK users can be purchased for only 17 rubles. The service is launched within 0-4 hours, and the arrival rate is 80 units. in a day. You can order without registering and completing tasks;
- martinismm.com is one of the cheapest offers on the site - 0.25 rubles. per subscriber. The execution speed is low to protect your profile from being banned. When placing an order, registration and an account password are not required;
- Prostospets.rf - here it is convenient to place an order for 10,000 subscribers or more. The greater the total quantity in the basket, the lower the cost per person;
- Prmotion.me - here, 1000 offers can be purchased for only 349 rubles. The maximum order quantity is 50,000 units;
- Ztpro - you will get 50 subscribers for only 162.5 rubles. Plus, for an additional fee, you can select the desired traffic criteria;
- Ru.all-smm - this platform offers only 1,699.99 rubles for 1,000 new users. Admins promise fast speed and security;
- Raskrutkagrupp - the resource offers 3 services for VK subscribers. Average cost per 100 units. about 300 rubles;
- Smmtap - price for 100 followers starts from 110 rubles. Before you place an order you need to register.
Now you know that finding a website with services at a low price is possible. Try, compare and choose only the best SMM platforms.
Types of rituals
There are different types of rituals:
- Some conspiracies are designed to bring many new acquaintances into a person’s life, people with whom you can chat, have fun, or go on vacation. This method is often used by single people.
- There are spells that are used to strengthen existing friendships.
- Some rituals are designed to find one friend you can always rely on.
The choice depends on the person's ultimate goal.
For a new friend
It is better to direct conspiracies to people you know with whom you are going to make friends. But there are also spells to attract public attention. This ritual will give you more charm and self-confidence, and awaken genuine interest in those around you. It is better to read the text of the conspiracy after sunset.
After the sun has set, you can read this plot.
There is another simple ritual that is suitable for people who want to win the favor of the team and relieve stress at work. During the week, in the morning before leaving the house, you need to read the words of the conspiracy.
Say the spell before leaving the house.
These words will help you become the soul of the team and improve relations with your superiors.
If you are in doubt about whether to use spells, you can perform a simpler and safer ritual. To do this, you will need a pot for house plants filled with soil, and a piece of paper with the name of an acquaintance written on it, in whom you see a potential friend.
You need to plant the seeds or bulb of any flower (for example, daffodil or tulip) in the soil along with a note. As the plant grows, so will your friendship.
To improve relations
Sometimes disagreements arise between friends, as a result of which they communicate less and spend almost no time together. You can strengthen your friendship with a girl using magic. It is better to learn the text of the conspiracy by heart.
To reconcile with a girl, learn this spell and read it twice a day.
The spell must be repeated for a week, morning and evening.
If you need to make friends with a man, you will need a different ritual. In the evening, take a piece of paper and write your names next to it. The note must be set on fire from a candle flame and the plot must be read while the paper is burning.
For friendship with a man.
Ashes from burnt paper should be scattered to the wind.
For strong friendship
To strengthen your relationship with a friend, you need to find his photo or personal item. Wait until the waxing moon phase begins - then you can begin the ritual. It is carried out at the window: you need to take a photo and position yourself so that the moonlight falls on your hands.
We pronounce the spell on the waxing moon.
There is another powerful ritual for strong friendship. But this ritual belongs to black magic and, if performed incorrectly, will do more harm than good.
The plot is best read after midnight. Buy 2 black candles, light them, and place a treat for your potential friend on the table between them (chocolate is a good option).
The next day, the charmed treat must be offered to the person (only the object of the ritual should eat it, no one else).
For reconciliation
Sometimes, despite strong feelings, misunderstandings still arise between friends, which can lead to the gradual destruction of relationships. In such cases, you can also use magic.
A gift plot will be effective. You need to buy some kind of souvenir or thing that will please your friend. Pack the gift beautifully, and after sunset read the text of the conspiracy over it.
We carry out a conspiracy for a gift for a friend.
The next day, the charmed souvenir should be presented as a gift to a loved one, but this should be done with sincere faith in strengthening relationships and hope for a better future.
To renew friendly relations
If at some point the friendship was interrupted, it can be returned with the help of a conspiracy. In the evening, you need to light a candle brought from church, peer into the flame, concentrate and read the simple text of the spell.
To perform another ritual you will need 3 church candles. They need to be placed on the table in a triangle, and a cosmetic mirror should be placed behind them. Concentrating on the flame, you need to cast a spell.
The candles should burn out almost completely. The cinders and the mirror should be wrapped in a clean cloth or handkerchief, hidden in a secret place and not touched unless necessary.
Enabling new
People have a craving for new information. This is one of the reasons why we love reading the news so much. This trait can be used to your advantage. To make your speech more exciting, add news that relates to your topic but can be interesting on its own.
It could be a new invention that will revolutionize the entire industry, an amazing discovery in a related field, or something related to the city or country in which you are performing. The main thing is to remember that the news must contain enough familiar information, otherwise the audience will not be able to perceive it. Too much new is just as bad as none.
Intrigue and arouse curiosity
It's understandable that most of us are looking for a guaranteed approach to success. As a rule, these are guys or girls who have no experience in street dating. For example, you can start a conversation with the question:
— Let me ask you an unusual question. Do you dance?
Apparently, the phrase “unusual question” certainly arouses curiosity, and the use of “vague” words that few people understand inspires one to find one’s own interpretations.
Photo: Depositphotos
Agree that even if to you and asks you something, especially something unusual, you are unlikely to be able to ignore this question or answer something rather sharp.