Perhaps you, too, have once felt the emptiness that sometimes arises inside: in moments when we suddenly realize that we don’t want anything at all. Life turns into a “home - work - home” scheme, where neither one nor the other brings absolutely any joy. On the one hand, such a state, if it lasts for a long time, may indicate [depression], on the other hand, short episodes can only indicate that life has not been going well lately, but this can be corrected. We figured out how interest appears in general, which motivates you to develop, and what to do if it leaves you.
What is interest
In psychology, there is such a term as personality orientation - this is a set of stable motivations that motivate a person to understand what he wants and determine how he perceives the world and how he can achieve the goals that are set for him. Desires and motives themselves are dynamic and depend on a person’s situational needs, which correspond to his values and worldview, as well as certain obligations to other people. Nevertheless, psychologists identify several fixed categories, which can include everything that we are trying (or at least want) to achieve:
- Installation. An individual’s unconscious willingness to act to satisfy needs.
- Attraction. A stage in a person’s life when he does not yet understand what exactly he wants, but feels the desire.
- Interest. An emotional manifestation of curiosity and cognitive need, which is felt as a feeling of sympathy for an object/activity.
- Wish. A conscious need to get something.
- Intention. The same conscious understanding of what a person plans to do.
- Beliefs. A set of perceived needs according to which a person builds his life.
- Worldview. Reflects a person’s views on the world, social relationships, social norms and rules.
We are most interested, of course, in interest, which is always based on different needs. For example, you may be interested in finding a cafe where you can have lunch today because you are hungry, or meeting with friends because you feel a lack of social contacts. Any conscious desire for a certain activity or object is an interest that we realize with the help of other components of the personality’s orientation. However, we often find ourselves in a situation where there seem to be inclinations, but it is not easy to deal with them, and clearly defined interests do not seem to exist at all. Or they were there, but for some reason they disappeared.
They don't want to work
Reluctance to work is not a sign of a poor person. Perhaps, each of us in life has encountered the fact that he does not want to get up early in the morning and go to the office or factory. Sometimes we just burn out. But, as a rule, we all understand the value of work and the importance of building a career, so we try not to shirk our responsibilities.
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People with the “poverty virus” behave somewhat differently. They don't realize the importance of work. Such a person will avoid work in every possible way, sometimes through not entirely honest work. They are more interested in the thirst for easy money.
Honest work is the easiest way to overcome the “virus of poverty.” Do your job diligently, even if your salary is low. Don't be afraid to express yourself and strive to increase your salary. But not through cunning or deception, but through improving your skills.
Why am I not interested in anything?
Daniel Brownie, author of The Source of Energy. How to turn on the body’s hidden reserves and stay energetic all day,” devoted a lot of time to studying the mechanisms of productivity and came to the logical conclusion that energy is not an endless source. Every day we spend it and replenish it, and when we feel a lack of strength and lack of any interest in life, this indicates that we have spent more than we could restore, and we continue to do so. When exactly and for what reason the problem manifested itself, it is impossible to say exactly without the help of a specialist and deep reflection, since some may be in a state of demotivation for several months and ignore this state, others - only for a couple of days or a week. However, there are several reasons why we may lose interest in life.
Excessive severity with yourself. John Maxwell, an American writer and speaker, in his book “The 15 Laws of Growth,” expresses the opinion that the value judgments we apply to ourselves are the most powerful psychological factor influencing our performance. Thus, it turns out that if you often scold yourself but never praise yourself, or constantly feel dissatisfied with your work, while striving to do better and better, then most likely you will lose motivation very quickly.
Lack of a compelling goal. Ask yourself, “Why am I doing what I’m doing?”
, and if you don't have a clear answer, then that's a bad sign. Often it is the lack of understanding of what you are striving for that gives you a feeling of hopelessness and despair.
High expectations. Despite the fact that a person is capable of achieving anything if he has the desire and understanding of how to do it, there are often cases when the goal turns out to be beyond our reach. It seems to put pressure on us with the fact that it remains unattainable no matter how much effort we put in. This happens because we incorrectly estimate the volume of tasks, set priorities and deadlines incorrectly. As a result, there is no result, and this is really frustrating.
Lack of environmental support. You can strive for complete autonomy as much as you like, but people are still social creatures who largely depend on what those around them, especially their close circle, think and want. And if instead of support you are judged, confused and reminded of failure at every corner, this is understandably demotivating.
Unhealthy Lifestyle. The lack of sleep alone is worth it, not to mention irregular nutrition and the lack of at least minimal physical activity with a predominantly sedentary lifestyle. Despite the fact that physical condition is not directly related to intellectual activity, it is difficult for the body to function properly when basic needs are not met for a long time. As a result, both interest in life and motivation to do anything gradually fade away, and in the long term you risk finding yourself in a state of deep depression.
To all this, as a separate point, it is worth adding stress, which for various reasons we experience more often than expected, which depletes our nervous system and ceases to have interest in anything at all.
I'm not interesting - why do I feel this way?
“I'm not an interesting conversationalist. Uninteresting guy to girls. Not interesting to other people. No one is interested in me as a person.”
This self-awareness of oneself as an uninteresting, boring, flawed person - where does it come from?
Let's trace the components of this phenomenon
Own self-esteem
If we try to dig deeper into your soul, we will see a little person there, a child. Who really lacks a sense of self-worth.
But adequate, healthy self-esteem will always be the basis for any communication with other people.
Non-recognition, disapproval by society
Every person has a very important need - recognition and approval. This need is not only socially conditioned. It is even biologically important. Because, you see, for a person to simply survive in society, he needs the society in which he is located to approve of him.
And this desire for approval by society dates back to ancient times, when people still lived in autonomous tribes. If you are not approved by your tribe, if you behave in some way incorrectly, then the pack will expel you. And then you are doomed to death.
Lack of family recognition and approval
Plus, the need for approval and recognition from the person (mother, most often) on whom your survival depends in early childhood.
All three of the above ingredients for feeling bored and uninteresting are interconnected. How?
Here's how: there is one very interesting phenomenon. It's called the "mirror effect". The people around us unconsciously read our own self-esteem and return to us exactly the attitude that will be equal to our deep inner sense of self.
And, it turns out. Deep down, we consider ourselves a boring, uninteresting person with whom there is nothing to talk about. We ourselves recognize ourselves as flawed, bad, unimportant. And, at the same time, we urgently need people, especially close ones, to approve of us.
An internal conflict arises. The knot is tightened.
How to fix it
Take small steps
Don't start big; you'll set the bar too high, given that at this stage you're in a state of disinterest, much less willing to do anything. Think about what you previously wanted or what dreams remained unfulfilled, and then start making a plan. Research has shown that planning—even if it's short-term—helps keep you in shape and leads to greater resilience.
Introduce rituals into your life
Despite the fact that freedom, of course, is what any person needs to realize his needs, nevertheless, certain restrictions will help you not to waste time and do only what will be truly useful. Therefore, formulate a few rules, for example, how you will start your morning: with a glass of water, reading 10 pages of a book, taking a shower - it doesn’t matter, the main thing is that it becomes a habit. By doing this every day, your brain will feel good and your motivation will increase.
Make checklists
If you understand in your head that you need, say, to improve a foreign language, but you don’t have the desire or energy to do it, try motivating yourself by creating checklists. Determine for yourself the optimal amount of what you are willing to do now, set a schedule, and then start marking the days on your calendar when you completed the task. For example, learn 10 words daily. And each time you do this, paint the day with a bright color, and let the calendar itself be in a prominent place as a reminder of the goal you have set for yourself.
Try to be kinder to yourself
There may be a lack of interest for various psychological reasons: from deep self-doubt to extreme perfectionism, when there is a feeling that everything should be perfect, which is almost never justified. Either reason exhausts us, and it is normal that sometimes we feel exhausted. Try to figure out how you prevent yourself from being interested in life around you. If you can’t do it on your own, you can always contact a specialist who will help determine the cause of all the problems. But the most important thing is not to judge yourself for “wrong” behavior and understand that at the heart of everything is caring about your well-being.
They are not interested in anything
A person with the “poverty virus” is not too eager to go somewhere. He usually spends his free time at home. When his friends invite him to meet, he refuses. Such people usually miss any holidays and corporate events. And it’s not just a lack of money for leisure.
They simply are not interested in anything, they feel uncomfortable in the company of other people. Maybe they have a complex about their income, appearance or behavior.
You can get rid of this habit if you overpower yourself. Learn something new, look for something that interests you, and get out into people more often. Hermitage is not the answer.
Attend recreational events
Are you sad and lonely? Then go to some social event. You can choose the entertainment that you like best. For example, if you like art, then go to the opening of a new exhibition. If you are interested in new technologies, visit a robot exhibition. Do you love animals? Go to the zoo. Well, what to do if nothing is interesting? Then visit an amusement park. In a crowded place where there is always a festive atmosphere, it will be easy for you to get a charge of positive energy. Have fun with those around you. Ride on those attractions that you never dared to even look at before. This kind of exit from your comfort zone will help you rethink your values and understand that making your leisure time interesting and varied is very simple.
Accustomed to depending on others
Such people have no control over their lives. They are used to relying on other people. This type of thinking usually comes from childhood because parents do not encourage their children to be independent. They instill in them the awareness that life directly depends on money. When such a person grows up, he develops extremely low self-esteem. Therefore, he does not know how to take responsibility for himself and is looking for a person on whom he will continue to depend.
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This could be parents, friends, or a significant other. Any difficulties cause stupor and a desire to give up. All that remains is to get over yourself. It is important to learn independence, because without it it is impossible to succeed as an individual, either at work or in your personal life.
Change your job
When a person begins to notice that there is nothing interesting in his life, then the person needs to think about his work. A person spends most of his life earning money for his comfortable existence. Are you satisfied with the field of activity in which you are engaged? No? Then why don't you change your job. Over time, people change, and it is quite obvious that their interests also undergo changes. It is not surprising that a person who applied for a job 20 years ago has lost interest in it today. Don't be afraid to change your professional field. Be afraid to spend the rest of your life in a job that doesn't bring you any satisfaction.
When you're looking for your dream job, consider making your hobby your job. Agree, it's nice to spend most of your day developing your knowledge and skills in an area that interests you.
