Husband insults and humiliates: what to do and where to turn

For many Russian families, domestic violence has become commonplace, and, as a rule, the most severe cases are recorded. Types such as beatings, humiliation, psychological pressure, and insult are not made public. Sociological studies show that cruelty occurs in families with different social status and income levels. Many people believe that if a husband insults and humiliates his wife, then this is their own business, and no one should interfere in the conflict. However, great violence begins with small things.

If cruelty is not stopped at the very beginning, the outcome can be sad. According to the Ministry of Internal Affairs over the past 10 years, 70% of all murders are committed within the family. Moreover, approximately half of the crimes are committed by women who are no longer able to tolerate insults and beatings from their husbands.

With the strengthening of the social role and status of women, her marital behavior also changed. Female violence in the family is quite common, usually manifesting itself in the form of insults, both towards the husband and towards the children. To prevent serious consequences, it is important to know how to stop the aggressor, and what to do if the insult has already occurred.

Reasons for aggression

The Code of Administrative Offenses defines insult as humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person. These actions manifest themselves in an indecent form and are committed with the aim of hurting pride and causing physical and moral suffering. This can be physical impact in the form of slaps, slaps, pushes, hair pulling, or verbal insults and swearing.

First of all, it is necessary to understand the reason for this behavior of the spouse. Most often, insults occur during family scandals and quarrels. Since both parties are most often to blame in a conflict, you should respond correctly to aggressive behavior depending on the situation. In practice, there are several reasons for insults:

Response to provocation. When a husband makes derogatory remarks towards his wife, she reacts with insult. Or the husband, in response to his wife’s temper and inappropriate behavior, allows himself physical force.
Revenge. When one spouse constantly reminds the other of his mistakes and failures, the other begins to insult in response.
Lack of culture of behavior in the family.
The desire to show your power. This motive is more typical for men who believe that they have the right to express their emotions towards their wife in any way.
Psychology of the victim. This behavior is most typical of women who are afraid to fight back the aggressor and believe that this will only worsen the situation.

Systematic insults and humiliation in the family usually lead to divorce. But before moving to extreme measures, you can try to influence the aggressor by legal means.

How family quarrels affect pregnancy

Serious quarrels between spouses can negatively affect pregnancy. The fact is that the child is tightly connected to the mother while in her womb. Feels anxiety, stress and excitement. His pulse may increase, and his movements may become more active.

In addition, scandals provoke increased blood flow in a woman’s body. The uterus may begin to contract, which will cause premature labor in the later stages, and a miscarriage in the first trimester.

The appearance of bleeding after a quarrel should alert every pregnant woman. If this occurs, you should immediately consult a doctor.

Legal concept of insult

In order for behavior to be classified as an insult, two conditions must be met:

It must be directed at a specific person and expressed in the form of physical force or in the form of humiliating statements. Ignoring your spouse or remaining silent will not be considered an insult. Obscene language expressed without address is also not an insult.
Behavior that contradicts generally accepted norms of morality and morality and is characterized by cynicism will be considered degrading human dignity. It is important that the behavior be indecent from an objective point of view. If the victim considers words or actions that are not such for most people to be offensive and humiliating, then they cannot be called offensive.

Prosecution for insult is possible only in cases where there is no retaliatory aggression on the part of the victim. Otherwise, he himself may become accused of this offense.

How to hold your spouse accountable

You should stop insults from your spouse for the following reasons:

Firstly, over time, aggression may intensify, insults may turn into assault or beatings. This may lead in the future to a retaliatory outburst of violence on the part of the second spouse and result in injury or even death of one of them.
Secondly, the atmosphere of violence in the family negatively affects the psyche and behavior of children. They can become withdrawn and fearful, or, conversely, aggressive and uncontrollable.
Thirdly, regular insults and bullying spoil the relationship between spouses and can lead to divorce.

There are several options for holding your spouse accountable, it all depends on the current situation:

Administrative liability for insult is provided for in Art. 5.61 Code of Administrative Offences. The punishment for such an offense will be a fine of 1,000 to 3,000 rubles. To bring the offender to justice, you should file a complaint with the prosecutor's office. In accordance with the application, the prosecutor issues an order to initiate a case, which he transfers to the magistrate's court.
A statement of claim to the court for compensation for moral damages for insults. You can specify any amount of the penalty at your discretion; the final amount will be determined by the judge depending on the degree of moral damage caused.
Contact the local inspector. In this situation, there is no point in writing a statement to the police, since insults are not a criminal offense. It is better to ask the local police officer to hold an explanatory conversation with the aggressor or threaten to prosecute him, for example, for hooliganism.

To consider a case in court, it is necessary to prepare convincing evidence of the abusive behavior of the spouse. It can be:

testimony from friends and relatives;
video recording on a phone camera;
printing of SMS messages or online correspondence;
recording verbal abuse on a voice recorder.

If your spouse has insulted you by posting defamatory information on social networks, you should take a screenshot of the page on which the insults were published. To record the date and time of publication, you need to invite witnesses or a lawyer, draw up an inspection report and attach it to the case file. In this case, it will be possible to qualify the information as a public insult, the fine for such an offense will be from 3,000 to 5,000 rubles.

If the insults led to a deterioration in health, for example, a hypertensive crisis or a heart attack, an extract from the medical history can be presented as evidence. If bruises or abrasions appear as a result of an insult, they must be recorded in a medical institution, then the actions of the aggressor can be classified as hooliganism, for which criminal punishment is provided.

Insults in the family must be fought before they become systematic, and it is better to prevent them. To save the family, you can try to persuade the aggressor to visit a family psychologist to correct his behavior, or ask one of the relatives to influence the rude person. It is worth bringing the offender to administrative or criminal liability only when other methods no longer work and the marriage is on the verge of collapse.

Infringement of the rights of pregnant women: how to put the boss in his place

The news that an employee will soon become a mother is not received favorably by all employers. In some cases, the manager declares war on the pregnant woman and does everything possible to survive the unfortunate woman from the company. We found out why this happens, how to respond to unfounded claims and which articles in labor legislation to rely on.

Play-Doh

Authorities mayhem

Increasingly, grief-stricken pregnant women are turning to lawyers who complain about the inappropriate behavior of their employer. He loads me with overtime work, publicly insults me at meetings, and doesn’t sign my vacation application.

Many note that the management’s attitude towards them changed dramatically precisely after they had to report an interesting situation. Unfortunately, this situation occurs all the time, since a pregnant employee is an additional headache and cause of stress for the employer.

After all, the expectant mother needs to create certain working conditions for increased comfort, provide time off to visit the doctor, and later pay maternity benefits and keep her job.

Dismissal of a pregnant woman at the initiative of the employer is punishable by law (Article 261 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation). Therefore, unscrupulous bosses invent a lot of tricks to get employees they don’t like to write a statement of their own free will.

“I’m twenty weeks pregnant and have an overwhelming amount of work. It seems that the larger my belly gets, the more tasks my boss assigns me. We have to stay late after work and answer letters on legal days off,” says Natalya Kim, layout designer . — Colleagues say that the boss has a thing about pregnant women - she doesn’t like them. The year before last, the accountant quit her job and had nothing left to do before her maternity leave. She said that her nerves and the health of the child are more important to her. But I won’t give up that easily.”

Alena Nikitina , who is now on leave to care for her one-year-old child, shares her story: “Problems arose almost immediately as soon as I told about the upcoming replenishment. In the department, several bosses controlled my work at once. And they all found fault, you can’t find another word. I remember bursting into tears when, for the fourth time that day, I was asked to redo some absolutely minor report. My husband advised me to intimidate me with the labor inspectorate, which I did. Of course, this did not fundamentally change the situation; they continued to greet me through clenched teeth. But there were fewer niggles, and I was able to make it through maternity leave.”

Rights of expectant mothers

In most cases, pregnant employees do not know their rights and therefore accept harassment at work. Such legislative illiteracy of a subordinate only benefits the boss.

“Despite the fact that labor legislation protects employees in this situation very well, and fines for violating the labor rights of pregnant women amount to 30-50 thousand rubles for each case, some employers “forget” about the additional rights that a pregnant employee has,” comments Evgeniy Poluboyarov, HR audit expert, co-founder . “For example, sending a pregnant woman on business trips, engaging her in shift work and overtime, working on weekends and at night is strictly prohibited.”

The expert also recommends not to forget that:

A pregnant woman should be relieved of her duties while maintaining her average earnings until she is provided with a job that excludes exposure to unfavorable production factors.
She is paid for the time she undergoes the required dispensary examination.
Maternity leave is paid in full by the employer, regardless of how much time was worked. And for the period the employee goes on maternity leave, her place of work is retained, and her seniority is accrued in full and continuously.

“According to the definition of the Constitutional Court of the Russian Federation dated February 27, 2018 No. 353-O, a pregnant woman cannot be fired for absenteeism. Moreover, pregnant women are provided with benefits: part-time or part-time work week, a special workplace, limited time working with a computer, as well as a reduction in production and service standards,” notes Alina Dmitrieva, lawyer .

What to do if the law is not written to the boss?

Theoretically, everything is more than clear - the employer and the subordinate have rights and obligations that they must comply with. But what if the boss is stubborn and pretends that the law is not written to him?

According to HR audit expert Evgeniy Poluboyarov, the expectant mother should take the situation into her own hands: “You yourself need to contact the employer with a written application for the provision of certain benefits and have the necessary certificates with you. If the employer ignores your appeal, it is recommended to file a complaint with the labor inspectorate. Supervisory authorities respond to complaints from pregnant women very quickly.”

Lawyer Alina Dmitrieva, in addition to the labor inspectorate and the court, also advises looking into law enforcement agencies or the prosecutor's office.

“If a pregnant woman’s labor rights are violated and she, for example, is asked to resign of her own free will, I recommend recording all violations using photographs and videos, and also be sure to keep copies of documents, orders and other important papers. You can turn to witnesses who will confirm your words,” says Alina Dmitrieva.

We have already mentioned that an employer does not have the right to fire a pregnant woman. This rule applies even when the expectant mother is on probation.

“You can lose your job if the organization is liquidated and dismissed at your own request or by agreement of the parties. If you have a fixed-term employment contract, then its validity is extended until the end of maternity leave,” explains Evgeniy Poluboyarov. - If the dismissal does occur, then feel free to go to court. “You will not only be reinstated in your position, but also receive compensation for forced absence, unused vacation and moral damage.”

According to lawyer Alina Dmitrieva, pregnant women may face dismissal in two more cases:

Termination of activities by an individual entrepreneur.
The expiration of the employment contract, if it was concluded during the performance of the duties of the absent employee, and without the written consent of the woman, she cannot be transferred to another vacant position with the employer.

Discrimination against pregnant women in employment deserves special attention. By refusing to hire an applicant solely because of her interesting position, the employer violates Art. 3 Labor Code of the Russian Federation.

However, according to HR audit expert Evgeniy Poluboyarov, it is almost impossible to prove this fact. During the investigation, the boss will always find a legitimate reason not to hire the applicant - she did not pass the test, did not demonstrate the necessary knowledge at the interview, etc.

“In this case, I can recommend not to disclose your pregnancy when applying for a job. The labor legislation of the Russian Federation states that you are not obliged to disclose such information to the employer,” says Evgeniy Poluboyarov.

We hope you are convinced that pregnancy is not a reason for dismissal, and harmful bosses can and should be put in their place. The main thing is to look at the labor code more often. And, of course, carry out your work duties conscientiously so that the boss does not have the desire to urgently look for a replacement for you.

- share with your friends!

Experts: Alina Dmitrieva Evgeniy Poluboyarov

“Switching places”: stories of fathers who went on maternity leave instead of their wives
From strong muscles to good handwriting: a pediatrician on the benefits of placing a newborn on his stomach
“While I was in the maternity hospital, the nurses gave a real course to a young fighter”: the truth about childbirth in Kenya for $7,000