- September 8, 2018
- Psychology of communication
- Irina Bukach
People can miss someone for a variety of reasons. For example, they feel in love, regret breaking up with someone, haven’t seen an old friend for a long time, etc. Sometimes a person can be overcome by a strong and all-encompassing feeling of melancholy that he cannot cope with. And sometimes he doesn’t miss someone at all, but simply because he’s bored. An unexpected statement, right?! Psychologists have also noticed that when you miss a person, a double feeling appears. Sometimes it is truly melancholy, and at times completely different emotions appear.
"Hell's Addiction"
To understand what we're talking about, it's worth imagining a guy and a girl in love, trying to say goodbye and telling each other that they already miss you. Quite a sweet display of love, right? But no! These harmless words actually indicate more emotional dependence than love. And if it becomes an obsession, then this is already a signal that it’s time to do something.
Psychologists believe that when you miss a person, it’s as if you are talking about your powerlessness and the impossibility of somehow passing away your leisure time. It’s as if a person is tying someone to himself and placing responsibility for his leisure time on his shoulders. Simply put, he emotionally clings and binds to himself the one to whom he constantly tells that he misses him. That is, this is ordinary manipulation, or “hellish addiction.”
WHAT NOT TO WRITE OR TYPICAL MISTAKES OF GIRLS
You should not write SMS messages containing grammatical errors. When sending love confessions, it is important to follow the spelling rules. Also, a girl should not demand increased attention from a young man or find fault with him. By becoming intrusive, a girl will only push her lover away.
If disagreements arise, you should not insult or humiliate your interlocutor. It is allowed to use light irony in letters, but jokes invented out of place can disappoint a person and push him away from the girl. In this case, it will be difficult to regain the goodwill and trust of your chosen one, and to keep the relationship the same.
Sources:
https://art-kiss.ru/priyatnye-slova-lyubimomu-muzhchine-svoimi-slovami-sms-v-proze-skuchayu.html https://favoritca.com/otnosheniya-s-parnem/obschenie-s-parnem /cto-napisat-parnu-ctoby-on-ulybnulsa.html https://zen.yandex.ru/media/id/5ba3bb65c071d300ab51b3ae/5be932385642f800aa7f9766
Comfort me!
Usually, when you miss a person, you try to tell him about it as often as possible. Yes, it’s really nice to hear this to another, and he is ready to fly to you on his wings, bringing with him many surprises and consolations.
But if a person begins to use this, his melancholy takes on hypertrophied forms and literally tries to strangle the object of desire, creeping into every corner of his life. Then we are talking about pathology. Sometimes a person simply may not have the time or mood to entertain someone, and this needs to be understood. Otherwise, he will begin to isolate himself, and then stop communication altogether, so as not to take on such responsibility - to relieve someone’s boredom.
Olfactory perception
The ideal way to remind yourself from a distance is to use the same perfume. Choose “yours”, be sure to have a pleasant scent for him. Use this perfume for romantic meetings and walks together. Don’t quarrel with your loved one or make a scandal, when you are “dressed” in this scent, it should be associated with warmth and tenderness.
If you are facing a temporary separation, cuddle up to the man, leaving your scent on him. When preparing your husband for a business trip, spray some perfume on his underwear or other frequently used items. Thus, the beloved will yearn for his wife, haunted by a familiar scent.
Emotional addiction
Why are people bored? Because they are emotionally dependent, that is, they feel that they have lost personal autonomy (or have actually lost it). As a result, the person:
- Experiences suffering when the object of his feelings is unavailable/not paying attention, etc.
- He feels that he cannot free himself from this addiction.
- Is under a negative chronic influence that binds his feelings.
Indeed, when a person enters into a close relationship with someone, he involuntarily falls into emotional dependence. For example, if his companion feels good, then the person rejoices, and if he feels bad, then he begins to feel sad. And this can continue for a long time, people seem to have turned into two communicating vessels and now they can’t live without each other. That's why a person gets bored.
The main advantages of sincerity
- Sincerity will help push him to action . Often for a guy the message: “I miss you” is like a “green light” for decisive action. There is a good technique that works on the stronger sex, namely a message with promises. For example, instead of: “I miss you, I want to see you so much,” you should write: “I’m cooking your favorite Peking duck and I’m looking forward to our meeting.” There may be erotic and gastronomic fantasies, the prospect of watching football together, etc.
- Will help him take his mind off his problems . It’s nice to receive an SMS during a boring meeting: “There are five (six, seven, etc.) hours left until our meeting.”
- You can get a meeting with the man you are interested in . Representatives of the stronger sex understand direct words, not hints. Therefore, you need to talk about your emotions directly, and if the girl is interesting, then the guy will understand and offer to meet, and if not, then you should not count on a long-term relationship.
- Thanks to sincerity, relationships between partners will improve . As experts note, many problems in couples arise due to understatement between partners. Both husbands and wives are often embarrassed to talk about their feelings, arguing that since we live together, the other half should know about it. But both sides are pleased to receive recognition that the other half is bored.
- Most guys want to hear good words addressed to them . People's attitude towards us can be a mirror reflection of our attitude towards them. It is easy for others to stumble upon a hypocrite. By being sincere with others, we receive sincere affection towards us. If the gentleman is “the one,” then sincerity will improve the relationship, otherwise, while the game of pretending is going on, another woman will get ahead, who will quickly realize that the stronger sex also wants to hear kind, sincere words.
Great responsibility
It's hard to find a place for yourself when you really miss a person. But on the other hand, it is worth agreeing that it is impossible to constantly be nearby and maintain the same favorable mood. People may experience fatigue, irritation, satiety with relationships and other negative mental manifestations. And with close emotional contact, these negative reactions are immediately reflected on someone else, especially if the person is emotionally dependent.
In reality, this is a huge responsibility that causes a lot of inconvenience. After all, if a person is missed, then he feels that he must at all costs cheer up, increase vitality, maintain interest, be empathic, etc. Someone who is obsessively missed really “should” do a lot of things.
And as practice shows, sooner or later he will get away from this “I miss you.” After all, it is better to get rid of all these responsibilities and go free swimming than to be a “vest”, a support and an on-call clown. This is what happens when someone misses someone pathologically - both parties suffer.
Making a man bored - women's tricks and secrets
It's not easy to make a man you like very bored. After all, for this you will need to use almost the entire arsenal of feminine tricks. First, you need to tie a guy and make him fall in love with you, so that his thoughts are constantly only with you, and only then check the feeling of melancholy by breaking up for a certain period.
Male psychology is straightforward and less emotional than female psychology, so before checking your lover, you should call your chosen one for a frank conversation and try to intuitively feel love and affection for the girl. In order for a young person to feel a lack of communication and begin to get bored, it is necessary to provide him with free space and time to think.
You can make a man suffer and get bored if you know male psychology, the secrets of manipulating people and female tricks. Among all methods, the main spheres of influence are distinguished:
- Beauty is a terrible force to which all male subjects are subject. A girl's spectacular appearance will lead to constant lust on the part of a man and, as a result, will make her feel very bored and jealous.
- Changeability is the main female weapon. Gray everyday life gets boring, monotonous sex is boring, so why not diversify the routine? Make surprises, become a playful tigress or a shy schoolgirl.
- Romantic surprises will make the lover think and remember the girl with warmth. Come up with a puzzle, a small quest, or you can have a dinner with a continuation.
- Don't be intrusive. Give up the constant presence of a man in your life, occupy your free time, transfer the initiative to men's hands.
- A smile and a sense of humor will help you become unforgettable. Gloomy people who are fixated on their problems are repulsive; try to abstract yourself from everyday and everyday difficulties in the presence of a guy.
It will be quite difficult to make a married man get bored and, moreover, run after you, because he has little free time. In such a situation, all feminine charms should be used together with care, patience and a great desire to be close to your loved one.
What to do?
You won't envy someone who is pursued with a manic "I miss you," but you should worry much more about someone who is emotionally dependent. So, what to do if you miss someone?
First of all, it is worth considering the mechanism of boredom. If a person has some kind of activity to which he devotes several hours every day, then he quickly gets used to it. But if at a certain point this activity disappears, then a lot of free time is created, which causes a feeling of confusion. A person wants to return to these activities so as not to sit idle. Man is such a creature - he needs to constantly do something.
For example, a woman may complain that she has to wash too many dishes every day. Her husband buys her a dishwasher, but she still continues to wash cups and spoons by hand. It’s just that a woman misses regular and familiar activities that can distract her.
The same can be said about why you miss a person. It’s just that over time you get used to his presence, and when he leaves, a void is formed, and usually people don’t like this void.
Filling the void
When someone close or loved one leaves, people feel discomfort, a contradictory feeling of incompleteness and brokenness appears. In such cases, you should not bother with the pathological “I miss” the one who left, you need to make your own day as busy as possible.
Start simple - with your hobby. Devote a few hours to what you love. Then read a book by your favorite writer, don’t forget about a walk with your best friends, go to the premiere of a new film.
It’s not for nothing that our great-grandfathers said that any problem can be cured with work. Take on several additional projects, take part in organizing an event, attend an exhibition in the evening, and devote the weekend to charity.
You can also find useful activities at home: rearrange things, hang wallpaper, learn a new recipe. If you wanted to lose extra pounds or go on a trip, now is the time.
The more ideas for active pastime, the better, the faster you can get rid of obsessive thoughts. And over time, you won’t even notice how longing and boredom will turn into pleasant nostalgia.
PLEASANT SMS FOR YOUR LOVED ONE IS A WHOLE ART
A distinctive feature of an SMS message is its brevity. Writing a small SMS beautifully and meaningfully is an art. You can surprise your loved one with an original and funny joke that can cheer up the recipient. He will remember a good joke and tell it to his family and friends. The man will understand that he is communicating with a lively, witty girl and will appreciate her even more.
Poems of your own composition sent via SMS will prove that the girl has talent and creativity. Anyone will love beautiful poems addressed to him personally. Such messages lift your mood and self-esteem.
At the beginning of dating, preference should be given to more neutral messages. At this time, you should not write too frank phrases or declarations of love to the young man. In the early stages, a man needs to take the initiative; this will bring great benefits for the further development of the relationship.
