A chance meeting with a wonderful man, an unforgettable first date, flowers, gifts, joint adventures, passionate sex...
Everything turns out as if you were in a fairy tale. But when you already begin to dream of a wedding dress and a shiny ring on your ring finger, terrible words come from the man’s lips: “Sorry, I’m not ready for a serious relationship.”
The ground disappears from under your feet, and your eyes fill with tears. How can we now make plans for our future together? How to convince him to stay?
Only knowing what to answer a man to such a humiliating statement can you maintain composure and not say anything stupid.
That is why we have prepared for you three phrases that will help you adequately convey the words spoken from the lips of a loved one.
Phrase No. 1
“It’s a shame, I saw potential in you and I’m sure that together we could achieve more.”
The phrase is ideal when you are working together on a common project, even if it is a project for your future life together.
Men do not like to leave ambitions and potential unfulfilled, and therefore your words will touch your beloved to the quick.
But don't expect him to immediately rush to apologize. The man has a serious decision to make, and therefore you will have to wait. The words he heard had already created doubts in his head.
When he once again spins the phrase about achievements and potential in his head, his masculine nature will not let him just take it and miss the opportunity to achieve an enviable result.
Therefore, if you and a man are not only lovers, but also colleagues, business partners, or two people with developed pragmatism, you should talk about love in a more down-to-earth way, at least for a while.
What reveals a man who is not serious?
- Complains about a former relationship.
Everyone has experience, but there is not a single adequate reason to burden their current companion with it. This happens when a man is not ready to take responsibility. Be prepared that this is his favorite position in life in general.
- It cannot be relied upon in unexpected situations.
No matter how busy a person is, there is always the opportunity to adjust plans. A man lets you down at the last minute if he doesn’t want to invest anything in the relationship.
- Immediately insists on sex.
A man who is not ready for a serious relationship has an extremely simple attitude towards changing partners. And even after a stormy night, you shouldn’t expect declarations of love from him. For him it was just sex and nothing more.
- He has no close friends.
This means that he does not know how to build relationships. No one wants to be surrounded by a person who will leave you in difficult times or run away at the first difficulty.
- Obsessed with his own desires.
Calls at any time of the day. Meetings from time to time. Everything when it is convenient only for him and when only he has the desire. He is not interested in other people's plans and circumstances.
- Just ended a relationship.
It doesn't matter how long the previous romance lasted. He also needs time to recover emotionally.
- Sincere confession.
If a man says that he is not ready for a relationship, it is wiser to take his words literally the first time. Don't get your hopes up. The efforts spent on winning his favor will most likely be in vain.
- He is a complete perfectionist.
He controls all aspects of life and strives for perfection in everything and everywhere. It is unlikely that you will be able to completely relax with him. Any little thing can make him angry.
Why is he not ready for a serious relationship?
In any novel you want to see perspective. Nobody wants to waste time on a person who is not ready to invest in a relationship. After analyzing the behavior, it's time to start finding out the reasons.
- He can't forget his past relationship.
No matter how long they lasted or how long ago they ended, everyone lets go differently. Perhaps the partner is afraid to start a new relationship or does not want to get burned again.
- You are not the only one.
In search of that same soulmate, a man spends time with other women. In order not to suddenly be left alone, he collects alternate airfields. You are among them.
- You are the reason for the breakup of past relationships.
Perhaps it was a coincidence. But it is possible that the man set up everything in order to finally break ties with his ex. He hasn't set his priorities yet and hasn't decided what he wants. The problem is it and its uncertainty.
- Uncertainty and doubt.
He is one of those men who thinks for a long time before making a final decision. Right now he is not ready to build a relationship. This means he has some doubts.
- Desire to be alone.
Another good reason why a man can temporarily suspend the development of an already begun romance. He needs time to put everything in his life in order.
- Fear or unwillingness to take responsibility.
This is not just about the financial side. Maybe he is not ready to always be there, share his feelings and listen to someone else's experiences.
- Uncertainty.
If a man says that he is not ready for a relationship, then you should seriously think about it. Most likely, he is simply not sure who exactly he wants to see next to him. He is looking for a better option.
- Diffidence.
In this case, we are talking about specific difficulties in a man’s life. These could be problems with work, housing, financial difficulties. He doesn’t want to put the burden on his companion, so he decides to first improve his own life, and then build a relationship.
- Excessive demands.
Typically for men who have not had a relationship for a long time. Over time, requests for a potential companion become higher and higher.
- Lack of falling in love.
This is the most honest reason why a man says he is not ready for a relationship. Any person, if he truly loves his partner, is ready for much. And there will be time and strength to build relationships.
Somewhere there will definitely be greener grass
Men are accustomed to the fact that society gives them much more time to find a permanent partner than women, without bothering them with either the biological clock or the old maid complex. Today they can use this “bachelor credit” to the fullest on dating sites, which turn this task into an endless process, where, like on Tinder, one beauty in the photo is immediately followed by another, and so on until the thumb gets tired or the battery on the phone will not run out. As a result, settling on just one seems like a simply impossible task: you open the application, and more and more new options are waiting for you.
Looking for Barbie
Mass culture shapes our consciousness from childhood and influences our choice of partner in adulthood. Our generation of men was brought up in a culture of sexualization of the female body: a girl with an ideal figure and long hair in a micro bikini appeared everywhere - from music videos and magazine covers to advertising for detergents, personifying the female image desired by a man, and porn and erotic magazines that served men textbooks on sex education, demonstrated standards of beauty that do not exist in the real world. Thus, men have been instilled with an inhumane attitude towards female sexuality, which not only forces them not to stop searching, but also to criticize without shame the “imperfect” female heels .
Money and ambition
From childhood, men are taught to play and win, so when they reach adulthood, they perceive the career ladder as a competition in which they must win - one day become a big boss or the owner of their own business. Work drags on and takes up all your free time, but you can’t stop so easily, because, if you believe the gossip columns, you’re far from cool until you have your own yacht or at least a cozy loft.
Nonverbal signs
The behavior of a man who treats a lady as a passing hobby is characterized by the following:
- Shows faceless signs of attention - banal gifts, dates according to the standard scenario, etc.
- Always determines the time, place and duration of meetings, citing busyness and urgent matters, comes up with excuses for canceling the rendezvous, and does not always answer calls.
- Doesn't introduce him to friends and relatives.
- Does not seek to help if a woman needs a reliable male shoulder.
By not responding to even the slightest requests, the gentleman demonstrates that the woman is not a close friend to him. Find out 5 signs of a consumer man in a relationship.
If a man is determined to have a serious relationship with his passion, he tries to give the impression of a strong person, ready to solve any problem and shield his beloved from life’s troubles. Find out the unobvious qualities of a worthy person here .
How to end a dead-end relationship
- Understand that he was not yours. Yours were only fantasies.
- Eliminate communication. His words about his unpreparedness for a serious relationship with you are the main reason not to stick around him anymore.
- Remember: if life takes something away from you, it certainly wants to give you the best. The time has simply come when he must give way to a more worthy candidate.
- Take care of yourself. This is the best way to get rid of sad thoughts. Engage in sports, creativity, work, active recreation - this will help you meet the right person.
- Leave on time, with dignity and pride. There is no need for hysterics and accusations against a man - this will not change anything, and you will leave a bad impression of yourself and experience stress.
If a man does not want your serious relationship with him, this does not mean that one of you is bad. You are simply not made for each other. After all, it is his right to decide when to start a family. Life can be unpredictable, and perhaps the time just hasn’t come yet.
Enjoy the present without making a certain man the meaning of your life.
Common phrases by which you can understand that a guy does not want a relationship
It doesn't happen often that a guy says he doesn't want a relationship. As a rule, he finds thousands of excuses (sometimes made up) and does not speak directly about his reluctance. Not all women can understand the essence of such words, while continuing to hope for a common future. In order not to build false hopes, it is worth finding out in advance what phrases can signal an unpleasant outcome. These are:
The guy is afraid of the feelings he experiences
There is a high probability that a man fell in love with someone for the first time in his life. He had previously had relationships, but the new chosen one became the first for whom the guy has such strong and vivid feelings. He can shower his beloved with gifts, invite her on dates, but even after 6-7 months of the relationship, the first sex will not take place.
In such a situation, a girl should not think that something is wrong with her partner. It is better to let this relationship go with the flow, to give the man time. Under no circumstances should you take any drastic actions; you can only gently hint to your partner that the girl is ready to move to a new stage of the relationship.
Why doesn't a man want a relationship with a woman with a child?
In cases where a man starts a relationship, and even a serious one, with a woman whose children are quite rare, they usually prefer to avoid such situations, especially if the man himself does not have children. The first reason for this is that building relationships does not begin according to the usual scenario and instead of elevating the man to first place and giving him maximum attention, the woman’s priority is the child. This includes jealousy, misunderstanding and simple selfishness with the desire to receive the necessary dose of attention and care.
Even if a relationship has begun, it is built simultaneously not only with the woman, but also with her child, who is not possible to love as if he were his own; in addition, there is a constant fear that the child will not love and accept the man, and will accordingly influence the choice mother. To get involved in something like this means to bear a double amount of responsibility, and not everyone can say whether they want a serious continuation even with an absolutely free woman. In addition, the appearance of a common child, along with joy, in this case will also bring another crisis and tension in the situation.
If the child’s father is unknown, died, abandoned them before birth, then in a sense this brightens up the future, but if this is an ex-husband visiting his offspring, then the need to put up with this presence of many men plunges them into an inadequate state. The child constantly draws the mother’s attention to himself, while he needs to make friends with him, and also somehow withstand competition with his ex-husband, observing the line that the father is always more important than the newly appeared uncle. Dancing like this between all the lights, a man remains a man and the instincts to drive another away from his territory continue to work, so self-control may not always work. Situations can be of varying degrees of severity, but what men immediately see is a greater number of difficulties and responsibilities, a need for the manifestation of wisdom. Although if there is true love, then the relationship develops harmoniously and children become a wonderful part, and not a burden.
Analyzing myself
Before looking for a problem in your lover, you need to understand yourself. You need to think about whether you really want a serious relationship. If so, how does this manifest itself in behavior? Sincerity is important in this matter, since many women follow the example of their friends and, afraid of being left alone, try to marry the first man they meet. In fact, you should not rush in this matter, so as not to make a mistake that could ruin your whole life. A girl should listen to her own desires, and not follow the example of others.
