To increase self-esteem, it is not necessary to consult a psychologist - there are many exercises in books and on the Internet for developing self-confidence. It turns out that they exist even for teenagers, for whom low self-esteem can bring a lot of inconvenience. So, how can a growing child help himself and improve his self-esteem?
One of the main tasks of a modern school is to instill in students the skills of self-improvement so that they become a harmoniously developed personality, can achieve goals and achieve success. In this matter, the teenager’s level of self-esteem plays a key role.
Unfortunately, today the self-esteem of adolescents is often low, and a young person entering the adult world is not very confident in himself. And this directly affects a very important quality for development - positive thinking, making it difficult to be optimistic about your successes and failures.
Don't compare with others
A teenager who is constantly compared with more successful, flexible and beautiful people does not know how to value himself. Instead of looking for and developing his strengths, he becomes fixated on the slightest mistakes. As a result, the child may lose motivation to do anything at all. After all, those around him, according to his parents, always turn out to be better than him.
Adults should learn to notice something good in their children and talk about it. All children are different: some get A's in math, others are excellent dancers. It is very important for a teenager to recognize and accept their own individuality, whatever it may be.
Features in adolescence
The complex and contradictory period of formation of self-analysis in a teenager determines how successful he will be in adulthood. Good self-esteem will help you interact normally with the opposite sex, achieve your goals, and achieve success. One of the features of this period is that the authority of their parents begins to decline among minors. If peers see a teenager as handsome, smart, and cheerful, then he values himself. If peers react negatively to him, then self-esteem drops. Just don’t step aside, it’s important to help the child. During this period, children want to experience everything through their own experience. Therefore, advice must be very correct.
Praise for achievements
A teenager needs to be praised when he has really worked on himself. Empty praise only devalues real efforts. Reasons for pride can be both material and intangible. You can praise both for an A in school and for the fact that the child gave up his seat to someone on the transport.
If a teenager doesn’t know how to unleash his abilities, offer him some activity: music, dancing, crafts, volunteering, helping around the house, science courses. Maybe not right away, but he will find a place to prove himself. After the first success, the child will understand what he is capable of, and his self-esteem will rise.
Oleg Ivanov
psychologist, conflict specialist, head of the Center for Social Conflict Resolution
A teenager needs to feel your support and understanding in order to overcome internal fears.
Formation of adolescent self-esteem
Psychologists say that low self-esteem is observed in 90% of adolescents. You need to be prepared for this. Parents should know how to raise a teenager’s self-esteem and help him during this difficult period. Remember that parental comments and reproaches only further lower children's self-esteem. It is important not to harm them.
It is worth understanding what self-esteem is. It includes a teenager’s analysis of his physical characteristics, actions, moral qualities, and abilities. Self-esteem begins during adolescence. She goes through several steps. First there is a naive ignorance of what is happening, then there is a wavering self-esteem. The focus of teenagers shifts to what is hidden inside.
Self-esteem determines the social adaptation of an individual, regulates his behavior and activities. Sometimes an overestimation of oneself is formed, and in other cases an underestimation. It is important to find a middle ground here. No matter how much the mother at this moment convinces her son that he is attractive, he will harbor doubts if not a single girl at school pays attention to him.
Respect his opinion and taste
Never criticize your child's taste. Even if it seems to you that he’s dressed up in an incomprehensible way, and the music he’s turned on makes your head pound. The child needs to feel support and sincere interest in you; he does not need your value judgments. Let him find himself, learn to choose and defend his own opinion. Be interested in what he listens to and watches. Otherwise, you risk being branded a bore and losing touch with him.
Valentina Paevskaya
pediatric neuropsychologist, blogger
Ask your child to download new music to your smartphone, attend quests and concerts of his favorite bands, and watch movies. This will help maintain an emotional connection and understand what your teenager is worried about right now.
The role of parents in shaping the personality of a teenager
Often boys and girls demonstrate their importance in every possible way, but inside they have a lot of doubts. Every step they take into adulthood is difficult for them, and they show indecisiveness. It is important to help children survive this stage and learn not to get irritated themselves. Parents must properly establish communication with teenagers so that they do not express their importance through protest. After all, if minors are unable to communicate with their parents, then they violently splash out their emotions and may leave home. It is at this age that some people get used to drugs and smoking. The influence of the street is very great. It is important that children come home for more than just a sleepover. Teenagers really want to be leaders in front of their peers.
Every parent should know how to increase the self-esteem of their daughter or son. First you need to accept and understand your child’s position. Support at this moment is very important. Reproaches and comparisons do not always produce results. It's time to start looking at a teenager as an adult. Respect, a gentle form of communication, the opportunity to express oneself - this is what minors need.
Get your teenager involved in sports
During adolescence, the body changes a lot. Many children gain weight, become clumsy, slouch, and suffer from acne. It is difficult to remain satisfied with your appearance. In addition, teenagers spend most of their time sitting: either at a desk or at a computer. The energy is not channeled in the right direction, and children, not knowing what to do with it, become aggressive or capricious.
To bring self-esteem and feelings in order, a teenager should exercise regularly. This will not only strengthen the body and increase endurance, but also relieve tension and help gain self-confidence.
Teenagers most often want to engage in extreme sports, such as snowboarding, skateboarding, and street dancing. By doing new tricks, the teenager seems to prove to himself that his body listens.
Valentina Paevskaya
pediatric neuropsychologist, blogger
Consequences of low self-perception in adolescence
Often the mental and physical health of a girl or guy depends on self-confidence. Parents should not forget about this. Here are the negative consequences that low self-esteem can lead to:
- resistance to stressful situations is lost;
- a depressed mood occurs;
- various fears appear;
- the functions of the gastrointestinal tract are disrupted.
Of course, no parent wants this to happen to their child. Therefore, it is very important to help minors improve their self-confidence. Psychologists recommend tips and exercises on how to raise self-esteem for a teenager.
Self-esteem: what is it like?
Self-esteem can be divided into low, high and healthy (normal).
Low self-esteem is characterized by the fact that a person sees only his own shortcomings and constantly criticizes himself. On an emotional level, this leads to him regularly experiencing shame or guilt. This also includes self-hatred.
Inflated self-esteem is a concentration only on one’s advantages and merits. It’s as if a person bathes in them and doesn’t notice the downsides. He is obsessed with self-love. This self-esteem is most often found in narcissistic disorder.
Healthy self-esteem is a state in which a person sees and knows his own pros and cons. This leads to the fact that self-perception becomes objective and rational. Such a person is able to accept and love himself regardless of circumstances.
Low self-esteem: 2 types
- Self-hatred, which is characterized by specific negative beliefs. A person calls himself certain words, for example, insignificant, or considers himself terrible. Sometimes such hatred has a specific history, for example, from childhood, when a person was called these specific words, humiliated and overly criticized.
- lack of positive self-image. Such a person knows almost nothing about himself, he does not know what is good in him, what qualities he possesses, and cannot objectively see his strengths.
How and when self-esteem is formed in childhood
At an early age, the child acts thoughtlessly, without predicting the results of his actions, only under the influence of a momentary desire.
At this stage, parents begin to form future self-esteem with the help of limiting phrases: “ Ay !”, “ You can’t ,” “ It hurts ” and show the child the possible consequences.
Gradually, purposefulness and dependence on the situation arise. The child begins to follow more complex verbal instructions and receives reward or punishment for this.
When should you contact a psychologist?
Adolescence is an important and difficult period of personality development. Changes occur, both physical and psychological. The child is in search of ideals, achieves new goals, and sets priorities.
It is necessary to prevent low self-esteem against the background of so-called “shortcomings” and fictitious complexes. If you don’t cope with the problem in time, the imprint can be left for life: self-doubt prevents you from realizing your abilities.
It is important that parents give support to the child to create good conditions to achieve results. If parents understand that they cannot help their child on their own, then it is necessary to consult a psychologist for advice.
Self-esteem of a teenage girl
A mother may well convince her minor daughter of her success. How to increase self-esteem for a teenage girl? First, help her take care of herself. Take him to a hairdresser or beauty salon. It is very important for a girl to feel beautiful, well-groomed, important, and valuable. Just don’t force her to do it, find a way to involve your daughter on a voluntary basis. A great idea would be to have a photo shoot in a new look. You can send your daughter to courses on creating your own style.
Invite the girl to do some housework, where she will demonstrate her abilities. Take an interest in the girl’s school life and make sure that the teachers treat her well. Instances of humiliation and ridicule by teachers are unacceptable.
How do parents influence their children's self-esteem?
Responsive and loving parents help the child develop with normal self-esteem. And negative relationships in the family give rise to uncertainty and isolation: the child becomes fixated on his failures, becomes suspicious, and sometimes displays aggression and anxiety.
When forming a teenager’s self-esteem, the style of communication within the family is important:
- Symmetrical - all family members interact with each other on equal terms. In such a family, the child considers himself important, his opinion is taken into account in all situations. The child forms his own criteria for evaluating his actions based on his parents’ assessments.
- Asymmetrical - the child is practically not allowed to participate in decision making. This model creates a negative perception of one’s own self.
It is important to understand that a child is also a member of the family. He has his own opinion on the situation or action addressed to him. It is worth taking into account the child’s opinion in matters that concern him indirectly or directly. You should not neglect the child’s words, as he may feel useless and withdraw into himself even more.
Parents as psychologists
In the age of the Internet, a father and mother can take on the role of a psychologist for a teenager if they suddenly notice low self-esteem. Experts advise conducting a test to determine a teenager’s self-esteem. After this, you can have a conversation with your child about the need to love and accept yourself with all your shortcomings. Tell the minor that everyone can make mistakes and that is their right. It is important to convey to your son or daughter that you should not concentrate on shortcomings. Advise your child to communicate with confident guys. For cases when the situation gets completely out of control and the teenager loses self-confidence, suggest that he use a deep inhalation and exhalation exercise. You need to breathe and count to 10. This will help bad thoughts go away, and your confidence in your abilities will rise. Communicate more with your children, ask them for advice, show them that they are important to you.
How to learn to value yourself?
Increasing your self-worth begins with developing self-esteem.
Tested psychotherapy techniques recommended by psychologists specializing in women's fears and complexes will help with this: Awareness of your uniqueness. Each personality has an individual set of qualities: habits, needs, strengths - every woman has them. Individuality is the main value of a person, the basis of a positive attitude towards oneself. Having realized what is special and special, you can present yourself correctly in society, and also learn to value yourself. Self-development. To respect yourself, you need to objectively increase your own value: devote more time to developing your intellect, comprehensive education, and improving your health. It is enough to give yourself at least 15–20 minutes a day to get noticeable results within a year. Focus on the positive
You need to highlight 3-5 strong qualities and focus on them.
When engaging in self-development, it is important to exclude from your information field all negative attitudes that can devalue and reduce the positive effect of psychotherapy
Showing love is good!
It goes without saying that parents love their children. But not all adults know how to express heartfelt affection. If this is not done, then the teenager will feel useless and self-esteem will fall. Learn to talk about your feelings yourself, show tenderness, show sympathy. Let your son or daughter feel that you unconditionally, unconditionally, sincerely accept him for who he is. Tell your child that you are happy to spend time with him and how good it is that you have him. Try to do it emotionally. Express your feelings through nonverbal (wordless) means: a sincere sparkle in your eyes, close attention, touching your shoulder, hugging. If a teenager feels loved, his self-esteem will definitely increase.
Boosting guys' self-esteem
Teenagers often focus on their parents. So, guys can imitate their father. It is important to be a worthy example. Those who observe alcohol consumption at home may also become addicted to it. Even the level of education of children depends on the level of knowledge of parents. Your actions and deeds influence young men.
It is very important for guys to focus not on appearance, but on achievements. Inspire your teenager to do good things that you will later be proud of. A father can teach his son to fish, drive a car, or play the guitar. A young man's self-esteem will definitely rise if he can brag about this to his friends. If the child cannot master all subjects perfectly, focus him on his favorite one. Maybe it will be physical education, history or biology.
More praise, less criticism
The task of parents is to bring the child’s self-esteem as close to reality as possible. If you criticize your son or daughter all the time, their self-esteem will drop completely. Don't be stingy with praise. It is important to encourage any endeavors of a teenager. Never make fun of a child if he fails at something. Try to help him, give maternal or paternal advice, just do it unobtrusively. Encourage the teenager, tell him that he will succeed. If you don't know how to raise a teenager's self-esteem, show your son or daughter that you believe in them.
Signs of low self-esteem in a child
How to understand that a child has problems with self-esteem? Psychologists identify a number of symptoms that may indicate low self-esteem in a child.
- Criticality – the child criticizes everything around him and feels dissatisfied when things don’t go according to plan. An upset child feels misunderstood and underappreciated, and this can provoke withdrawal.
- Tearfulness is the result of excessive criticism. Dissatisfaction with your results comes out through tears.
- Desire to be the center of attention - children constantly attract the attention of adults so as not to feel lonely. Adults do not always have time for constant conversations and joint activities, which angers and upsets children.
- Inability to lose - such children do not value the process of the game, but expect only a positive result from it, i.e. victories. They believe that this will allow them to earn the acceptance and love of others. Such children do not know how to admit defeat, and at the same time overestimate the fact of their victory (excessive boasting).
- Fear of making a mistake – fear of failure makes a child avoid risks. Therefore, the child chooses the action in which he is absolutely confident. This attitude interferes with development, and in addition contributes to the emergence of anxiety.
- Closedness and unsociability - introverts, as a rule, find it difficult to find a common language with peers and let other people into their space, so their social skills are poorly developed.
- Depressed mood – such children are often sad and not smiling. They do not have the motivation and vital energy for spontaneous actions.
- Achieving ideals - an attempt to bring any action to the ideal does not give the opportunity to focus on other important points. Perfectionism prevents a child from developing effectively and efficiently, because too much effort is spent on improving and correcting the result already achieved.
- Aggression is the best defense - attack. And the manifestation of aggression and anger only worsens relationships.
- Addiction to approval – children with low self-esteem are overly eager to receive approval from peers, parents, and teachers. This may be due to a lack of trust or a lack of understanding of how to understand yourself or how to evaluate your actions yourself.
- Behavioral factors - a child who lacks self-confidence often speaks quietly and indistinctly. doesn't make eye contact. In a team, he sits on the edge, does not try to establish contact with peers, thereby trying to distance himself from everyone. The appearance may be sloppy.
It is worth considering that all these signs can manifest themselves in different ways. It depends on temperament, character, family situation and life path.
Correction of self-esteem work program in psychology (grade 6)
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND SCIENCE OF THE CITY OF MOSCOW
STATE GOVERNMENTAL EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTION OF THE CITY OF MOSCOW "SPECIAL (CORRECTIONAL) BOARDING SCHOOL No. 65"
Saratovskaya st., 19, building 1, Moscow, 109518
Phone Fax: (499)177-67-66 E-mail https://schuvc65.mskobr.ru/
INN/KPP 7722306978/772201001 OKATO 45290590000 OGRN 1037700227157 OKTMO 45395000
I approve
Director of GKOU SKSHI No. 65
Perepelkina S.I.
________________________
Individual program of psychological and pedagogical support aimed at correcting self-esteem
Educational psychologist:
Buryakova N.V.
2019-2020
Scientific, methodological and methodological foundations of the program Adolescence is the time when stable forms of behavior, character traits and methods of emotional response take shape, which in the future largely determine the life of an adult, his physical and psychological health, social and personal maturity. In this regard, the study of the characteristics of adolescence deserves special attention, as evidenced by the works of such scientists as P.P. Blonsky, V.P. Kashchenko, I.A. Sikorsky, S.A. Belicheva, L.S. Vygotsky, D.B. Elkonin, L.I. Bozhovich, D.I. Feldstein et al. Many authors pay attention to the formation of self-esteem in adolescence and the factors that contribute to its formation. Among the researchers of this problem are Borozdina L.V., Zakharova A.V., Stuzhin A.G., Rean A.A., Bozhovich L.I., Kon I.S., Lipkina A.I., Sokolova E.A. . etc. The authors unanimously note that the formation of self-esteem occurs precisely in adolescence. Therefore, modern psychology is actively conducting research to identify factors that contribute to the development of self-esteem in adolescents. Among the numerous factors that influence the formation of self-esteem in adolescents, psychologists highlight interpersonal relationships with peers. The emotional well-being of a teenager depends on them. Research on interpersonal relationships in adolescents was carried out by such scientists as Anikeeva N.P., Krichevsky R.L., Dubovskaya E.L., Madorsky L.R., Reznikov E.N., Remshmidt. Kh., Smirnova M.V. etc.
The concept of “self-esteem” includes a wide range of physical, behavioral, psychological and social manifestations of personality associated with the individual’s assessment of himself in these characteristics. The study of this concept traditionally begins with an analysis of the individual’s self-awareness. That is, self-awareness is the formation from which one isolates and tries to find a place for self-esteem. Often, when studying self-esteem, researchers seem to use the following identical terms: self-awareness, self-attitude, self-esteem and self-esteem itself. However, despite the identity, there are certain conceptual differences that allow us to define the term “self-esteem”. In the most general terms, we note that the term “self-esteem” in psychological literature is understood as a complex system that determines the nature of an individual’s self-attitude and includes general self-esteem, reflecting the level of self-esteem, holistic acceptance or non-acceptance of oneself, and partial, private self-esteem, characterizing the attitude towards individual aspects of one’s self. personality, actions, success of certain types of activities. The program contains a complete list of educational and methodological materials necessary for the implementation of the program, including diagnostic tools, descriptions of practical tasks and exercises, and requirements for its implementation. A program of diagnostic results, the analysis of which indicates the presence of inadequate self-esteem. To assess the effectiveness of the program, a diagnostic cut is carried out at the input and output. Methodological principles:
1. Systematic principle. The program is a systematized, structured methodological material for working with teenagers in the form of group classes.
2. The principle of “normativity” of development based on taking into account the age and individual psychological characteristics of the child. This principle implements the requirement that the child’s mental and personal development comply with the parameters of the norm, on the one hand, and the recognition of the indisputable fact of the uniqueness and uniqueness of the development path of each individual, on the other.
3. The principle of a personal approach. Personality development as the main idea is considered in unity and interrelation with the physical and general mental development of the child, which is reflected in the objectives and content of the program.
4. The principle of comprehensiveness of methods of psychological influence. The method of psychological influence is not just a set of operations and a set of technical techniques. Already the use of certain concepts means fixing the properties of a real object corresponding to these concepts, their certain hierarchy and reflects the starting position. The process of conducting classes according to the program is based on a set of psychological methods and techniques that are logically interconnected.
5. The principle of identification (personification). Identification is a stable identification of oneself with a significant other, the desire to be like him. At primary school age, figurative and emotional perception of reality predominates, imitation mechanisms and the ability to identify are developed. At this age, an orientation towards personalized ideals is expressed - bright, emotionally attractive images of people (as well as natural phenomena, living and inanimate creatures in the image of a person), inextricably linked with the situation in which they showed themselves. Personified ideals are effective means of moral education of a child.
6. The principle of interactive learning. Methods, techniques, forms and means of teaching must create conditions under which children take an active position in the process of acquiring knowledge.
7. The principle of consistency. The presentation of the material must have a logical sequence.
8. The principle of unity of feelings and knowledge. The knowledge acquired by the participants should be developed not only in the sphere of intellect, but also in the emotional and sensory sphere.
Of great importance for the low self-esteem of a teenager aged 11-14 years is the discrepancy between the needs that have arisen in him and the life circumstances that limit the possibility of their implementation, a discrepancy characteristic of each age crisis. In fact, the teenager still remains a typical schoolchild. Teaching, school, relationships with friends fill almost all of his time and constitute the main content of his life. At the same time, the nature of the teenager’s internal position changes. The discrepancy between a teenager’s aspirations associated with consciousness and assertion of himself as an individual, and the position of a schoolchild makes him want to break out of the framework of everyday school life, into something different, significant and independent. Sometimes teenagers, acutely experiencing a conflict between their desires and the possibilities of satisfying them, embark on the path of searching for a special, not imaginary, but real life, but it leads them away from its prosperous course and disrupts the course of the teenager’s normal development. In these cases, teenagers abandon their studies, school, they are captured by the yard, the street, the company of the same children who have become disconnected from school, which often leads them to antisocial forms of behavior, which are a way of self-expression of a teenager, a desire to increase their self-esteem. However, the only safe way for teenagers to “express themselves” is to increase their self-esteem at school and in the family.
A planned diagnosis and a request from teachers of a teenage student revealed difficulties in terms of self-esteem. Low self-esteem of a student negatively affects the social adaptation of the individual. This phenomenon is expressed in the manifestation of aggressive behavior towards peers, difficulties in building relationships, personal maladjustment and building defense mechanisms. In this connection, it was decided that it was necessary to carry out correctional and developmental work in this direction. In the process of taking classes on the formation of adequate self-esteem, she had the opportunity to become aware of problem areas and then work on them. Form a correct idea of yourself and your capabilities, believe in yourself and develop self-confidence.
Self-esteem is a complex and multifaceted concept. As an integral system, self-esteem is included in many connections and relationships with other mental formations, including personality traits, interaction with which is dialectical in nature: being conditioned by them, self-esteem at the same time itself acts as the most important determinant of their further development. According to most researchers, self-esteem reflects the qualitative uniqueness of a person and the nature of his interaction with other people. In particular, the level of awareness and generality of self-esteem depends on individual differences. Self-esteem is a person’s idea of the importance of his personal activities in society and evaluation of himself and his own qualities and feelings, advantages and disadvantages, expressing them openly or closed. The main evaluation criterion is the individual’s system of personal meanings. The understanding of the self-concept as a set of attitudes “towards oneself” is clearly recorded, for example, by R. Burns. In accordance with this understanding, the three traditionally identified elements of attitude (cognitive, emotional and behavioral) in relation to the Self-Concept are specified as follows: 1. The image of “I” is the individual’s idea of himself. 2. Self-esteem is an affective assessment of this idea, which can have varying intensity, since specific features of the image of “I” can cause more or less strong emotions associated with their acceptance or condemnation. 3. Potential behavioral response, i.e. those specific actions that can be caused by the image of “I” and self-esteem. At the same time, self-esteem as an affective component of self-esteem exists due to the fact that its cognitive component is not perceived by a person indifferently, but awakens in him assessments and emotions, the intensity of which depends on the context and on the cognitive content itself. Rosenberg proposed the so-called interactive hypothesis, according to which the influence of a specific aspect of “I” on self-esteem varies depending on the level of self-esteem in this aspect and its importance for significant aspects: their high levels greatly increase overall self-esteem, while low levels of particular significant ones self-esteem significantly reduce the final self-esteem. The contribution of self-assessments on less significant aspects to generalized self-esteem is correspondingly smaller. Thus, in accordance with these ideas, the structure of self-attitude can be presented as follows: There are two levels of self-attitude - the level of private self-esteem and the level of generalized self-esteem, and the main principle of organizing these levels into a single system is the integration of private self-esteem, taking into account their subjective significance. The structure of self-attitude, in fact, comes down to the structure of the aspects of “I” included in the self-concept. According to the literature, there are three main understandings of self-attitude terms, each of which reflects different theoretical approaches and has its own connotative meaning: 1) self-love, 2) self-acceptance, 3) a sense of competence.
Main goal: formation of adequate self-esteem of the student.
Tasks:
1. awareness of one’s own positive and negative sides;
2. developing skills of confident behavior;
3. promoting the formation of the skill of quick decision-making;
4. formation of a positive self-attitude.
Addressee: the program is intended for teenagers aged 11 to 14 years, for students in grade 6A.
Classes are held once a week (5 weeks). This time period between classes provides the necessary time to practice skills and fully assimilate the information received. The duration of one lesson is 40 minutes.
Expected results.
Intermediate: The introduction of this program into the activities of the psychological service of educational institutions will allow adolescents to realize their own positive and negative sides, will help develop skills of confident behavior, and the ability to quickly make decisions in a stressful situation; will contribute to the formation of a positive self-attitude.
Final: the program will help you update your personal resources, allowing you to achieve success and take responsibility for solving your life problems.
Educational and thematic plan of the program “Increasing self-esteem”
No. Section, topic
Total hours (teaching hours)
Including Form of control of theoretical practical
1. Acquaintance 1.5 0.5 1 1.1 Two sides 1.5 0.5 1 Diagnostics, observation
2. Main part.
2.1 Areas of my resources. Interactive communication, completing tasks, reflection;
2.2 Reality of the goal. Interactive communication, completing tasks, reflection;
2.3 Situation-action. Interactive communication, completing tasks, reflection;
3. Summing up. Self-expression. Diagnostics, reflection.
A significant role in the formation of self-esteem is played by the assessments of others about the personality and achievements of the individual. Without self-esteem, it is impossible to determine yourself in life. True self-esteem presupposes a critical attitude towards oneself, constantly measuring one’s capabilities against life’s demands, the ability to independently set achievable goals for oneself, strictly evaluate the flow of one’s thoughts and its results, subject the guesses put forward to careful testing, and thoughtfully weigh all the pros and cons ", abandon unjustified hypotheses and versions. True self-esteem maintains a person's dignity and gives him moral satisfaction. An adequate or inadequate attitude towards oneself leads either to harmony of spirit, providing reasonable self-confidence, or to constant conflict, sometimes leading a person to a neurotic state. This justifies the need to proactively promote the formation of adequate self-esteem in a person. Carrying out diagnostic measures indicates the prevalence of low self-esteem in adolescent children, as a result of which the emphasis of this work will be on increasing self-esteem. Since adolescence is a sensitive age due to its psychophysiological characteristics, the work carried out will be most effective during this period.
The main goal of the program is to form adequate self-esteem of students. In this regard, the following tasks have been set: awareness of one’s own positive and negative sides, developing skills of confident behavior, promoting the formation of the skill of quick decision-making in a stressful situation, and the formation of a positive self-attitude.
The first lesson is introductory and is aimed at introducing you to the upcoming work, developing motivation for work, and also has the goal of promoting the formation of a positive self-attitude.
The second lesson is conducted with the aim of developing confident behavior skills.
The third lesson is aimed at understanding the principles of achieving goals.
The fourth and fifth lessons are aimed at both conscious moments of forming adequate self-esteem and training skills of confident behavior. This ratio allows us to achieve maximum efficiency of the program’s results on this issue. The program is implemented in the form of training and consists of 5 lessons.
Contents of the program “Increasing self-esteem”
Lesson No. 1
Goal: promoting the formation of a positive self-attitude.
Introductory part: The lesson begins with an introductory speech by the psychologist, who talks about himself and the upcoming joint work. After this, the coach answers the children’s questions. Next, students are asked to remember the basic rules that they will use in the process of work: 1. “Rule of activity. The more actively you work, the more useful knowledge and skills you can gain.” 2. “Rule “Here and Now”. Conversations during the training process can only concern the event currently taking place. We will have time to discuss abstract topics during the break or after the end of the lesson.” 3. “Rule of respect. During the work, only one person can speak and express themselves; in order to answer or express your opinion, you can wait until your classmate finishes, or raise your hand.” 4. “Right hand rule. How many of you have heard about this rule? It lies in the fact that if no one in the group shows initiative, then the one who my right hand points to will have to answer.” This rule promotes the emergence of positive emotions and in some groups influences the initial increase in activity.
Exercise 1. “Snowball”
Purpose of the exercise: to prepare for the beginning of interaction, to form a positive attitude towards each other, to establish a relationship with a trainer (psychologist).
Procedure: Participants sit in a circle. A volunteer from the circle must state his name and one of the positive traits of his character, the name of which begins with the first letter of his name. For example, Dasha is kind. Then, in a circle, everyone performs the same task. The difficulty lies in the fact that each participant, before giving his name and character trait, must repeat the names and character traits of all previous participants. After completing the main task, a discussion takes place. Attention should be paid to what emotions arose in the participants, whether they remembered the names of their training comrades and whether they were ready to work further.
Exercise 2. “My virtues”
Purpose of the exercise: awareness of positive personality traits
Procedure: Children should write down a list of their positive characteristics on separate sheets of paper. Qualities should relate only to personality traits and character. 7 minutes are given to complete the task, after which each participant reads out his characteristics in front of the others. At the end of the exercise, reflection is carried out: - How many of your own qualities were you able to write? — When the other guys read out their features, did you want to add to your list? — What other traits would you like to see in yourself? - What needs to be done for this? — Where can each of your qualities be useful in life? — Do you currently have a dream or goal? — What qualities are needed to achieve it? - Now you can add to your own lists.
Exercise 3. “Opinions of others”
Purpose of the exercise: formation of a positive “I-image”
Progress of the exercise: Each training participant places a blank sheet of paper in front of him, signing his name on the top line. Everyone passes the piece of paper to the neighbor on the right. Thus, each student ends up with a piece of paper with someone else’s name on it. His task is to write about the person whose name is written on the sheet, any positive characteristic or characteristic of appearance that seems attractive to him. Next, the piece of paper is again passed to the neighbor on the right. Thus, each participant in the exercise will write one positive characteristic about each student. The exercise ends when the piece of paper with your name is returned. Next, each participant reads what the other participants wrote about him, after which the list is read out to everyone. The exercise concludes with a general discussion. — What emotions arose during the task? — Was it pleasant to listen to the opinions of others about your personality? — Did you like looking for positive qualities in others? — Why do people need to be able to see the positive sides of others? — What positive qualities are you hearing about for the first time? — Is it possible to independently develop positive qualities in yourself?
Lesson No. 2
Goal: developing skills of confident behavior
Exercise 1. “Podium”
Purpose of the exercise: developing skills of confident behavior, increasing self-confidence.
Progress of the exercise: Children place chairs in two rows, facing each other, leaving a distance of about 2 meters between the rows. This space is used as an imaginary podium. First stage: each of the participants in turn must walk along the podium with their usual gait. Second stage: walk the podium with a very confident gait. Options for a creative approach to the assignment and improvisation by students are not excluded. The exercise ends only after each participant has managed to complete the task correctly. The exercise concludes with a general discussion. At the end of the exercise, reflection is carried out: - What feelings do you experience when you walk with your own gait? — What feelings and emotions did you have when you demonstrated a confident gait? — Which option did others like better? - Why do you think? - What depends on our gait? — Did you manage to feel like a more confident person? —Have you become more confident in yourself after completing the exercise?
Exercise 2. “Stage fright”
Purpose of the exercise: developing skills of confident behavior, removing psychological pressures.
Progress of the exercise: Children arrange chairs in an amphitheater. You are given 10 minutes to come up with your speech in front of the rest of the participants. When performing, you can present any of your talents or abilities; students can team up with each other and depict any scene. Also, the student’s speech can be limited to a story about himself or some interesting moment from his life that he is proud of. The exercise concludes with a discussion. At the end of the exercise, reflection is carried out: - What emotions arose during the task and on stage? — Why do many people feel constrained and embarrassed? - How can it be overcome? — If you don’t fight it, will the acting get better? Students are given the task to repeat the exercise.
— Was it easier to do the exercise the second time? - Why do you think? — Should you be afraid of the opinions of others? What emotions did you experience when you saw confident behavior displayed on stage? What do you need to do to get rid of stiffness?
Lesson No. 3
Goal: awareness of the principles of achieving goals.
Exercise “What can I do”
The purpose of the exercise: awareness of one’s own capabilities, liberation from several stereotypes associated with self-esteem.
Progress of the exercise: Children are divided into 3 groups. Group number one is given the task of making a list of goals that they can currently achieve. Group #2 makes a list of goals that they would like to achieve. Group No. 3 makes a list of “magic” goals that are almost impossible to achieve. All groups read out their lists. Each list is discussed separately. The trainer explains to students how the group lists actually differ and draws various analogies between them. Next, all three groups make a list of those factors that interfere with the achievement of their goals. After which there is a re-discussion. The coach's task: to help children understand the mechanism for achieving any goal through self-esteem. Third stage: groups make a list of the abilities that they need to achieve the listed goals. During the discussion, the psychologist should help children understand how they can work on themselves to achieve what they want. Students also exchange experiences on how each of them is currently able to achieve goals and work on themselves.
Lesson No. 4
Goal: developing skills of confident behavior
Exercise 1. “Dozen”
Purpose of the exercise: “Intellectual warm-up”, training skills of confident behavior in situations where you need to quickly respond to a changing situation.
Progress of the exercise: Participants are located in a circle. The driver points to any of them and names a number from 2 to 12. The one to whom the driver pointed demonstrates the named number on his fingers (if it is more than 10, then in two steps). The one standing to his right shows on his fingers a number one less, the next right neighbor shows another one less, etc., until zero is reached. Whoever makes a mistake or hesitates is out of the game. Reflection: — What skills, from the participants’ point of view, are developed in this exercise? — Have your performance improved each time? — What are the reasons for the hitches in the game? — What emotions did you have during the exercise? — What can you advise to those who are confused in the process of completing a task? The exercise is done several times so that the children can note for themselves the improvement in their own results.
Exercise 2. “Intonation”
Purpose of the exercise: development of confident behavior skills.
Procedure: On small cards the group writes the name of any feeling or emotion. Then the cards are collected, shuffled and dealt again. Now the group decides which phrase or line from the verse to take as the basis for further actions. After this, the participants take turns pronouncing this phrase with an intonation corresponding to the feeling that is written on their piece of paper. The rest of the group guesses with what intonation the phrase was pronounced. At the end of the exercise, reflection is carried out: - What emotions did you have during the exercise? — Did you manage to correctly portray the desired emotion the first time? - What prevented you? — What qualities of yours can help you complete this task correctly? The exercise is repeated to consolidate the results and see whether the students have learned the information.
Exercise 3. “If ..., then ...”
Purpose of the exercise: to develop skills for quickly responding to a conflict situation.
Progress of the exercise: the exercise goes in a circle: one participant sets a condition in which a certain conflict situation is specified. For example: “If I were shortchanged in a store...”. The next person sitting next to him continues (finishes) the sentence. For example: “... I would demand a complaint book.” It is advisable to carry out this exercise in several stages, each of which involves everyone present, followed by discussion. The presenter notes that answers should not be repeated. At the end of the lesson, reflection is carried out: - What emotions arose during the task? Why? — How can you control your own emotions at the moment? — What qualities can be used in this case? — What can you advise those who have difficulties the first time?
Lesson No. 5
Goal: awareness of the mechanisms of formation of adequate self-esteem
Exercise 1. “Personal abilities”
Purpose of the exercise: awareness of your own abilities.
Progress of the exercise: Participants write down their own abilities and skills (from banal to special) on sheets of paper. It should be at least 20 points. As soon as all participants are ready, a reading and general discussion of each participant takes place. In turn, while listening to the speaker, other participants can write down his ideas if they relate to them personally. At the end of the exercise, reflection is carried out: - Was it difficult to remember your abilities? — Who completed their list while listening to others? - Do we have more abilities than it seems at first glance? - Why does a person need abilities and skills? - How can they be used usefully? — Do they help you achieve your goals?
Exercise 2. “Gift”
Purpose of the exercise: development of confident behavior skills.
Procedure: All group members anonymously give each other imaginary gifts, as if the giver’s capabilities were unlimited. For this you will need sheets of paper. The player receives his gifts, and then, reading the notes out loud, tries to guess who the author of this or that gift is and why he decided that way. At the end of the lesson, reflection is carried out: - Was it pleasant to receive gifts? — Why do you think this gift is intended specifically for you? — What needs to be done to get more gifts? — What conclusions can be drawn from this exercise?
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Forming the correct perception of criticism
Always show interest in the affairs of the minor and find out about his difficulties. It is important to properly teach him to accept criticism from friends or teachers. Explain to children that sometimes you need to admit your mistakes or defend your point of view in a cultural manner. Do not feel sorry for the upset teenager, but simply advise him how to behave in such situations. Explain to your child that criticism is not a personal insult, because others may have a different opinion than he does. Let him understand that criticism can become an incentive for further development, an objective assessment of his further actions.
We form adequate self-esteem for a child (up to 6 years old)
At the preschool stage, the child already has a fairly developed will and life experience, has mastered the basic safety rules, but still makes annoying mistakes.
Important ! You should not create a child with constant protection from dangers and a situation of success in everything and everywhere. This creates an incorrect perception of the world around us. Allow your child to make mistakes safely.
For self-esteem, it is important that the child does not hear setting phrases: “ You will fall !”, “ You will not succeed !” The process of stuffing cones should be structured correctly:
- Warn the child about possible consequences using the formula: “Don’t jump from there. It’s high up there, you could fall painfully.”
- Give the opportunity to make a mistake (ensuring safety).
- If the result is positive, repeat the warning: “You did well, you did it, let’s try together next time.” In case of a mistake: “I really sympathize with you. I know you're hurting. But you and I told you that you can fall?”
This approach demonstrates to the child that his parents believe in him and fear for him, but are ready to support any choice. In the end, this choice turns out to be imaginary: the child will trust the opinion of mom and dad more than direct prohibitions. In the preschool period, this is a good way to manage behavior and form an adequate assessment of one’s capabilities.
Important ways to master the experience of adults at 2–5 years old:
- observation of correct behavior, imitation;
- visiting a kindergarten;
- game according to age and goals;
- technique “One boy...” (an instructive story invented specifically to study the situation)
- fairy tales, folk and therapeutic.
It is fairy tales that allow not only to shape behavior, self-esteem and ideas about the basic processes of life, but also to get rid of fears! And games can work wonders if you use them thoughtfully and systematically, organize the gaming space and get sincere pleasure from the process.
What is self-esteem: definition and its impact on our lives
To achieve success in any area of one's activity, a person must be self-confident and be able to convince others that he is right.
People with low self-esteem cannot be happy by definition: their entire existence consists of doubts, disappointments and soul-searching. Meanwhile, a bright, eventful life passes by, going to those who do not doubt that they are right and confidently walk towards their goal.
A person with low self-esteem considers himself unworthy of happiness, and therefore subconsciously inferior to others in everything. To change the situation in your favor, you need to change yourself - there is no other way.
In this article I will tell you why a person’s self-esteem is so important, what reasons influence its decline, and how to increase self-esteem for a man, woman (girl), and teenager using the most effective methods.
Self-esteem is extremely important for the full functioning of the individual in society and the achievement of various life goals - success, self-realization, family happiness, spiritual and material well-being.
What to do when violence is used against you?
If someone close to you is violent or violates your boundaries, you have the choice to leave the relationship. Or limit your communication to such a level as to minimize harm to yourself (in case it is difficult to leave the relationship completely - for example, these are parents, close relatives, spouse's relatives).
- Choose to associate with people who help you grow as a person and consider you a valuable person. And not those who are trying to belittle you and assert themselves at your expense.
- A person who constantly criticizes you and calls you offensive nicknames does not love you! You have nothing to do together.
- If these are your parents or close relatives, firmly tell them that you are already an adult and are able to take care of yourself and ask them to keep their advice and assessments to themselves. If they do it again, tell them that you will then have to limit your communication because their words hurt you. If they continue the same behavior after that, limit your communication for several months.
This will help create a stronger foundation for seeing yourself as a worthy person.
Why self-esteem matters
Children who feel good have the confidence to try new things. They are more likely to try their best. They are proud of what they can do. Self-esteem helps children cope with mistakes. This helps children try again even if they fail at first. As a result, self-esteem helps children do better at school, at home and with friends.
The boy raised his finger up
Teens with high self-esteem will be able to:
- act independently;
- will be able to take responsibility;
- endure disappointment;
- try to solve new problems;
- cope with positive and negative emotions;
- will be able to offer help to others.
The girl is sad with her head down
Confidence – what is it?
Self-confidence is the ability to positively assess one’s abilities and skills, the feeling that the accumulated experience and knowledge is enough to achieve goals. Confidence comes when you are happy with yourself and your current state of affairs. It is formed not only due to the personal experience gained. It is also influenced by other factors, such as the attitudes of parents and friends. You can develop self-confidence at any age, but you should not expect quick results - it requires long and painstaking work.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Psychologists advise:
Try to make important decisions at a time of day that is comfortable for you. Most people experience changes in energy and mood throughout the day. Some people hesitate before going to bed and constantly think about difficult thoughts. If you belong to this category, think through rituals that will help you relax better in the evening and fall asleep faster, and do your work in the morning, when you have more strength.
Prepare a list of your strengths, list those situations when you were confident and satisfied with yourself. It will help you not to lose heart in moments of failure. Listen to others, but don't become dependent on other people's opinions. We already talked about this when we raised the topic of self-esteem. Stop trying to make a good impression on others in order to appear better than you are. Being sincere today is a real luxury; few people can afford it without regard to other people’s opinions. Instead of talking about yourself, listen carefully to your interlocutor, show interest in his life, discuss questions to which you cannot find answers. If something doesn't work out, don't panic, just ask yourself: is it really as significant as I think it is now? Will I worry about this in 5 years? Try to constantly learn and develop in different areas. We are not talking about expensive courses. Have fun - read books on your specialty or self-development, communicate with inspiring people, watch interesting videos from experts, develop useful skills using available applications, keep a diary of achievements
If you feel unsure about something, pay more attention to it, study the topic carefully.
Let go of past grievances. Forgive those who brought you negative emotions, let them go from your life
Work on the fears and childhood experiences that you still carry with you throughout life as a heavy burden.
