10 important tips for teenage boys. Psychology of a teenage boy. Advice for parents of teenagers 9-15 years old

Parents have heard a lot about adolescence, so when a child approaches a dangerous threshold, they try to prepare for it as much as possible. The crisis of 13 years manifests itself especially vividly and impulsively, when conversations in raised voices, slamming doors, partying until midnight in strange companies and other problems begin.

How to behave in conflict situations without causing trouble and not harming the fragile child’s psyche? The advice of psychologists will help, the implementation of which does not require supernatural powers.

Raising a 9-year-old boy: advice from a psychologist

You need to try to sort out the problems. That is, do not shift responsibility onto your child’s shoulders, but also do not deprive him of choice. Give your child more independence than before. You cannot leave a child without control, because he can make a lot of mistakes, but try to make this control unnoticeable. Do not lie and tell your child the truth, even if it is quite harsh and unpleasant.

Raising a 9-year-old boy, advice from a psychologist:

Be sure to get advice about spending family money. Monitor your child’s health and, if necessary, consult a dermatologist to solve problems with oily skin, acne and pimples.
Be sure to praise your child, even if the achievements are minor.
Do not reprimand your child in front of peers, as this may undermine his or her authority. Listen to his opinion and express yours, but don’t force him to do it his way.
Be sure to be interested in successes and listen to what the child says. Trust him and be sure to love him.
Boys aged 9 years have not yet reached the culmination of adolescence, so there may be subtle changes in behavior. However, at this age there is a need for personal space and greater freedom.
Therefore, parents should be prepared that after the age of 9 the child will gradually become distant. Remember that at this age sons are very vulnerable, interests, some questions and doubts appear. Be sure to communicate with your child and try to support him. Very often, sweet children turn into unbearable ones and may behave badly.

Communication

How to raise a child at 10-12 years old

Be very attentive to your child's opinion . At this age, he has his own point of view on almost everything. If you don’t learn to respect his views, then in adolescence he will either respond with violent protest to attempts to “shut him up,” or he will withdraw into himself and stop expressing his opinion, which is no less dangerous.
Try not to use harsh phrases when communicating with your child, and do not be overly categorical. Expressions “I forbid you”, “You are obliged”, “Because I said so!” etc. will be met extremely negatively by your child and will only cause resistance. If you think his behavior is inappropriate or you don’t like one of his friends, say so calmly, argue your point of view (get used to doing this all the time), and communicate your feelings. Be sure to listen to your child.
Do not hide your fears and concerns for your child under the guise of severity and inflexibility. Openness and sincerity in communicating with him will help maintain a warm, trusting relationship between you.
Pay attention to what the child is interested in at this age in order to encourage his involvement in one activity or another. By the beginning of adolescence, your child should have one or more useful hobbies (creative or sports), then it is easier to direct his energy in the right direction.
Your ability to trust your child begins to play an increasingly important role. Demonstrate with all your behavior that you do not doubt him, provide a reasonable degree of independence and initiative, and designate his area of responsibility. You can't stop children from wanting to become adults, but it's important to show that it's not that easy.
Accept your child for who he is, do not compare with others. He should feel loved and protected regardless of any conditions.
Create conditions for confidential conversations with your child. If you want him to communicate more with you, do not build the conversation in the form of an interrogation, that is, do not use many questions at once that require monosyllabic answers (“yes” or “no”). Ask your child how his day went, what new things he learned, what he thinks about some phenomenon, etc. It is open questions that stimulate communication. Remember that children are more likely to have genuine conversations before bed, and use this time to be affectionate and kind.
Always maintain eye contact when talking to your child. And don't forget the importance of touch. Supportive hugs help you feel accepted and protected.

When raising children, loved ones and teachers should take into account the psychological state of the teenager and the fact that he is going through a period of self-determination and development of independence. Experiences associated with puberty are also taken into account.

Children need to be supported in their endeavors and initiative. You cannot treat personality and appearance with irony or disrespect. This age period instills many complexes due to improper behavior on the part of parents.

Relatives should not put pressure on a teenager and force him to accept their opinion, regardless of his own. A son or daughter should have the opportunity to express their views and, according to individual preferences, choose their clothes and hobbies (if they are not dangerous).

Psychology of a 10-11 year old boy: advice

The transitional age can begin at 11 years old and last until 17. This is a fairly wide range, during which significant changes in appearance occur. The genital organs mature, hair growth increases, the voice changes, and significant changes occur in the boy’s height and weight. In general, from 14 to 16 years of age, there may be a peak in weight gain, as well as in height. It is during this period that a young man is able to grow by several tens of centimeters. Of course, such a significant jump in growth and changes in appearance is due to the high content of various hormones in the blood. They can affect the child’s mental state, causing anxiety, apathy, excessive emotionality, or, conversely, isolation. Therefore, parents should be prepared for this. It is best to prepare your child for such a period in advance by discussing important aspects.

Psychology of a 10-11 year old boy, tips:

First of all, it is necessary to talk about nocturnal emissions that occur in adolescents. Indeed, according to the opinion of a large number of experts, they are the ones who cause a lot of anxiety in children. If you are embarrassed to talk about such intimate topics, you can offer him a relevant book. In this case, the teenager will independently choose a convenient time to read useful information.
It is necessary for the child to understand that nothing bad is happening to his body. Be sure to pay attention to the teenager’s appearance. At the age of 10-16 years, boys and girls are characterized by youthful maximalism; they are very scrupulous about their appearance. It may not change for the better. Previously beautiful, smooth, thin skin becomes oily, covered with pimples and comedones.
Even if these problems are minor, you need to pay attention to them. Never yell at your child or ignore his problems, even if they seem insignificant to you. Help your child take care of his skin. Take him to an appointment with a dermatologist, talk and discuss all the intricacies of caring for oily teenage skin. Usually, dermatologists prescribe special products, talkers, and masks that help remove pimples and blackheads.

In company

Psychology of teenage girls

During puberty, intensive growth of the body and hormonal changes occur. Therefore, many girls begin to gain weight, their bodies become rounded, becoming more feminine.

Since the body does not have time to quickly adapt to the ongoing metamorphoses, it has to work hard. Hence, girls experience increased fatigue, drowsiness and apathy. Chronic illnesses may also worsen or new ones may appear.

The condition of the skin may worsen due to an increase in the production of estrogen and progesterone, which also negatively affects the emotional state of the child. This stage is also marked by the appearance of the first menstruation, which is often accompanied by pain and weakness.

All processes occurring in the body inevitably affect the children's nervous system. In addition, far-fetched shortcomings such as excess weight, problem skin, and the appearance of sweat odor negatively affect the self-esteem of a teenage girl. This is fertile ground for the emergence of various complexes in a teenage girl.

Due to the increased production of sex hormones, the emotional background of girls is unstable, its various forms can change every second - from apathy to joyful causeless excitement, from tearfulness to obvious aggression.

Teenage girls are often depressed. They are convinced that everything is bad for them. Girls are often prone to tearfulness. They often feel hatred and irritation towards those closest to them.

Their memory deteriorates, their concentration decreases, and their ability to express their thoughts is impaired.

Girls who are at the described stage of growing up often resemble three-year-old children in their own actions and words. You can often hear from them: “I myself,” “don’t meddle with me,” “leave me alone.”

Psychology of a 12 year old boy: advice

During this period, personal boundaries are built, so do not be upset if a teenager moves away from you. For the first time he begins to feel like a person, a person and an individual, as well as a member of society. He wants his opinion to be taken into account.

Psychology of a 12 year old boy, advice:

If there is misunderstanding on the part of adults, the child may withdraw into himself. Therefore, under no circumstances treat a teenager as a child. Try to communicate with him as an adult, but do not forget that he is not smart or experienced enough to make serious decisions. Please note that now very low self-esteem and complexes may form.
The child often becomes overly anxious during this period. There may be difficulties communicating with peers. Therefore, take a closer look at your friends and surroundings. Teenagers aged 11-12 years may act rashly. This is one of the most dangerous periods, when there is a surge of hormones, and boys want to be better than their peers, often getting into “weak” fights.
The main task is to assert yourself, prove to yourself that you are worth something, and also gain authority among your peers. It is necessary to tell the child that he is worthy, thereby increasing his self-esteem. It is necessary that the child learns to perceive his emotions and control them. In adolescence, this is quite difficult; the emotional component predominates rather than the rational one. Therefore, teach your child to control his emotions and manage aggression.

At this stage, boundaries are changed and new ones are created. An independent person with his own views and emotions is formed. Therefore, it is quite natural that the guy wants to separate from his parents. That is why at the moment there may be a denial of family values, authority and norms of behavior. The child may become too aggressive. Try to smooth out such conflicts gently. Very often, children want to do everything the other way around in order to annoy adults and contrast their values. Often a restructuring of emotions occurs, and feelings become more vivid.

Alone

Problems of adolescence

The complication of real trends in social advancement, the acceleration of the rhythm of existence, and the preference for a hedonistic way of life have an impact on the formation of modern teenagers. The current circumstances cause passivity in children, aggression, depressive moods, moral indifference and create obstacles to the identification of their own moral values and comprehension of the meaning of their own existence.

That is why the psychology of modern adolescents, in comparison with the psychology of early periods of formation, is characterized by specificity. After all, the dynamism of existence and its attitude towards pleasure as the highest value is reflected in the hearts and consciousness of new generations.

The main problems of adolescence include:

– anger in children (the problem lies not in the very presence of this feeling, but in the inability to control it), manifested in passive-aggressive behavioral reactions in order to throw the adult environment or parents out of balance, and is characterized by unawareness, being the result of hushed anger;

– emotional instability;

– suicidal tendencies, which are caused by low self-esteem, parental indifference, feelings of loneliness, and depressive moods;

– homosexuality, which consists of intimate attraction to subjects of the same sex;

– teenage depression, expressed by a sad, depressed mood, pessimism, a feeling of worthlessness, retardation of movements, monotony of ideas, decreased motivation, various somatic abnormalities;

– personal self-determination, which includes social self-determination, family, professional, moral, religious and life.

Psychology of a 13 year old boy

Parents should gently encourage them to make the right choice. You must try to make sure that he does not understand that you are the initiator of a useful acquaintance. A child at this age may ignore those he does not like and does not feel trust.

Psychology of a 13 year old boy:

Male education is very important during this period. That is why it is necessary for his father to communicate with him. Not only the mother is able to discuss sensitive issues, but also the father. It is necessary that trust arises from early childhood.
Only in such conditions will the child discuss masculine topics with his father. If in childhood and adolescence there is no trust between parents and child, then in adulthood such an individual will constantly shift responsibility to someone else. Often such guys become childish and not independent. The father and mother must allow the child to make his own decisions, even if he makes mistakes.
First of all, in adolescence, the father should communicate with the child not as with his son, keeping him under constant control, pointing out mistakes, but forming friendly relations. It is worth noting that at the age of 14, children in a military family are more disciplined and resilient than their peers. However, in such families a huge problem arises. This is due to the rather strict treatment of children, which often provokes a breakdown.

Restrictions

Development of a child at 10-12 years old, what should he know and be able to do?

During early adolescence, which lasts from 9.5 to 12-12.5 years, children move from a dependent position to an independent person who can fully take care of themselves. At this age, regardless of gender, children should be able to:

clean up the apartment;
use a washing machine and wash small items by hand;
prepare simple dishes with or without a stove;
Wash yourself and follow all necessary hygiene rules;
wash the dishes;
plan your personal time and distribute tasks depending on their importance;
defend your opinion and accept constructive, reasonable criticism;
stand up for oneself;
get out of awkward situations;
accurately carry out the instructions given by parents;
seek help from emergency services and clearly explain what is happening;
distribute and save pocket money;
care for pets;
be responsible for your actions;
look after the younger ones;
analyze actions and their consequences.

From the age of 11, a teenager should be able to navigate the ingredients of products in a store and choose them not based on the attractiveness of the packaging.

From the age of 12, children become quite independent and can be left alone at home all day. At the same time, they are already able to heat or cook their own food, allocate time for work and rest.

In early adolescence, a child must fully master school subjects. He also already knows and clearly understands that he is a person who has rights and responsibilities, as well as responsibility for his actions.

Advice for parents of a 13 year old teenager

Starting from the age of 13, teenage boys can actively engage in various sports. Accordingly, they want to be better, shape their figure, so it is necessary to adjust the amount of load.

Advice for parents of a 13-year-old teenager:

Anabolic steroids and steroids are often taken. This negatively affects the child’s health, muscle formation, and physique. During this period, active growth of muscles and bones occurs, while internal organs do not have time to grow so quickly.
Therefore, if you exercise too much, you may experience health problems. Therefore, under no circumstances should a child be dissuaded from playing sports, but it is necessary to encourage them to adjust physical activity and not take dangerous medications.
An example of parental misbehavior is punishing a child. Try to talk to him more and understand. After all, the child behaves badly for a reason; perhaps he is worried about something, he does not know how to behave.

In adolescence, a boy may be completely confused, not understanding what awaits next. Remember that punishment can make the situation worse. It is necessary to form trusting relationships and comfortable living conditions so that the child goes home, not like to hard labor, but to a place where you can share your problems. Try to be an example for your son.

Communication

How to behave

The age crisis of 13 years does not require treatment. The need for psychotherapeutic help or consultation with a psychologist arises only in extreme situations, when a teenager’s behavior gets out of control and is fraught with serious consequences for personal development. In such cases, group and autogenic trainings are conducted aimed at developing self-reflection and adequate self-acceptance.

First of all, experts give advice to parents on how to behave with teenagers aged 13 so that the crisis proceeds without complications:

Find compromises in communication.
Look for “points of contact” of interests.
Establish uniform rules of conduct at home that must be followed by all family members (dine at the same table, be home at 9 pm).
Involve the teenager in family activities. Ask and take into account his opinion. Delegate some responsibilities around the house.
Be patient and remain calm. Speak confidently and with restraint.
Be interested in the teenager's hobbies.
Praise and encourage achievements.
Spend more time with him.
Remain an authority figure, but at the same time establish a trusting relationship.
Constantly be in touch with teachers, class teacher, school psychologist.

10 “don’ts”: a reminder for parents

Enter into conflict.
Throwing phrases: “You’re still small”, “You don’t understand anything”, “Don’t teach me”, “When you grow up, then you’ll have the right to swing”, “Eggs don’t teach a chicken”, etc.
Give indulgences, follow the lead, satisfy whims.
To impose one’s point of view, to order, to demand wordless obedience without providing the right to choose.
Screaming, raising your voice, breaking down into hysterics.
Hit, swing, physically punish.
Humiliate, belittle, ignore achievements, criticize.
Moving away, not keeping promises, refusing requests or advice, citing being busy.
Deprive of communication with peers.
Encroach on personal space (check your phone, social networks, read correspondence).

It will be much easier to survive the crisis of 13 years if parents adhered to a competent education system before it occurred. By this age, the child should already clearly understand certain rules of behavior in the family and society and acquire communication skills. Yes, impulsive teenage outbursts are inevitable, but normally they quickly subside without consequences.

Therefore, psychologists strongly advise parents aged 8-11 to constantly work on raising their children, helping in the formation of a value system, and monitoring their level of self-esteem. And the most important thing is to pay them enough attention and build trusting relationships. With such prevention, no teenage crisis will be scary for either side.

Psychology of a 14 year old boy

The most difficult relationships with a teenager are observed at the age of 13-14 years. It must be remembered that a child is a separate person, so there is no need to invest your values in him.

Psychology of a 14 year old boy:

There is also no need to force someone to do something or follow in your footsteps. The main task of an adult is to provide freedom so that the child can choose for himself what he wants to do, who he wants to become in the future.
The task of adults is to observe, guide, but at the same time smooth out rough edges, and also minimize the risk of dangerous situations. Pay attention to how a teenager behaves in company.
Is he a victim of bullying or an outcast? The main difficulty is getting the boy to talk. Often at this age, guys are very secretive and are in no hurry to share their emotions.

Communication

Causes

Why does the maximum boiling point of the teenage crisis occur at the age of 13?

Developing Self Awareness

During adolescence, self-awareness improves and forces the child to place increased demands on both himself and the people around him. However, they are often impracticable. On the one hand, this leads to the formation of internal complexes, since children are not yet ready to take responsibility for their actions. On the other hand, relationships with family, friends and relatives deteriorate.

Parental (teacher) control

Considering himself an adult, the 13-year-old wants more freedom. It seems to him that he can cope with difficulties without outside help, that he can make the right decisions. But the practical skill has not yet been developed, there is no experience. Therefore, when parents (teachers) impose some prohibitions, the child demonstratively violates them, but at the same time finds himself in a funny or dangerous situation. Adults get angry because of open resistance and try to prove to children that they are still small, thereby offending them and only aggravating the crisis.

The desire to assert oneself

At 13 years old, like at no other age, a child is overcome by a real thirst for self-affirmation. He wants to stand out from the rest in all micro-collectives: in the classroom, in the family, in the section, in the circle of friends, even in public transport. There is a desire for false ideals, adapting one’s already partially formed character to them. When in the end nothing works out, self-criticism, self-flagellation and self-deprecation begin. At the age of 13, they take catastrophic turns: dissatisfied with their appearance, studies, and achievements, teenagers often commit suicide.

Puberty

Puberty entails a complete transformation of the body. This leads to a change in self-esteem (most often it decreases) and the formation of internal complexes. The first timid attempts to establish contacts with representatives of the opposite sex are observed. Failure in these matters (unhappy love, separation) leads to psychological trauma and suicide. The behavior of a teenager is strongly influenced by unstable hormonal levels. It is because of him that they become emotionally unbalanced.

Teenage boy 14 years old: advice from a psychologist

The main difficulty is that now the main authority for the child is not the parents, but classmates, grown-up guys. A teenager may feel disappointed in life and not see future prospects while watching his parents.

Teenage boy 14 years old, advice from a psychologist:

Very often guys at this age lose their incentive. They feel frustrated and threatened. Only in the company of your friends and peers can you show what you are capable of, throw out heroism, as well as aggression.
Teenagers' problems arise due to misunderstandings in family and school. If earlier he listened to the opinions of teachers and parents, now he questions absolutely everything they tell him. The main task is to convey to the teenager that he is the culprit of the incidents and is responsible for them.
Therefore, the choice lies solely with him. At the age of 14, a search for authority usually occurs. The boy finds himself a certain role model. Usually boys want to be like their idol, so their appearance, clothing style, and behavior change.

Alcohol

Games and toys for children aged 10-12 years

Toys that interested children at an early age turn into protected and carefully stored talismans, which they do not part with, but do not play with them anymore. For boys and girls, the main toys are complex puzzles, radio-controlled models, logic board games and computer games.

The latter cannot be prohibited, as this will only lead to them becoming especially desirable. However, it is necessary to dose the time spent in front of the monitor, organizing an equally exciting pastime for the child, preferably with a sports focus.

Any toys should be purchased only with the teenager's interests in mind so that they do not become a disappointment. In most cases, children want to receive various sports equipment as gifts.

When raising a boy or girl, loved ones need to first analyze their behavior. It should be aimed at the formation of an independent and full-fledged personality, and not at manipulating the child in order to keep him near you.

Often parents unconsciously try to instill in their children a sense of guilt and duty towards them, which, in their opinion, can protect their sons and daughters from mistakes and disappointments. As a result of such an illiterate approach, they only achieve that children either acquire a lot of complexes and cannot live fully, or break off relations with loved ones as early as possible, wanting to finally become an individual.

Psychology of a teenager 15 years old boy: advice to parents

If the boy is embarrassed by the appearance of dark hair above the lip, suggest removal. If the guy is not yet ready to use a razor, you can recommend waxing or sugaring.

Psychology of a teenager 15 years old boy, advice to parents:

As a result of such manipulations, hair will grow much slower, and coarse stubble will not appear, which will force you to shave constantly. Also listen to the teenager’s opinion, and be sure to make an appointment with the hairdresser. At this age, all guys want to stand out from the crowd and seem cooler than their peers. Recommend a good hairdresser and offer to show the guy the haircut he wants.
A stylish appearance significantly increases self-confidence and improves the relationship between parents and child. It is because of appearance that a large number of complexes arise. Guys often suffer from excessive hair growth.
It is worth understanding that not everyone develops in the same way, so some of their peers will experience noticeable changes; for some, maturation occurs much later. A teenager should not feel like everyone else, special, or be criticized by their peers.
During this period, there is a significant change in the child's behavior. This is due to a change in psychology due to a surge in hormones. The boy begins to feel like a separate person who needs to be listened to. Your main task is to establish a trusting relationship with him and listen to his opinion. You cannot talk about the fact that you are currently the breadwinner in the family, so the teenager must do what you say. This does not work and can cause aggression and separation of the child from adults.
During this period, the boy chooses a leader for himself, as well as people whom he imitates. Most often these are not parents. He often compares himself with his peers, trying on different roles. Don’t be opposed if your child starts to dress creatively or gets piercings or strange hairstyles. This is just a search for yourself, and a way to understand your position in society. Allow the child to do what he wants, as long as it does not harm his health or life.

Communication

Adolescence period

As for the physiological and psychological changes in the life of each boy, they are divided into 3 stages, each of which is fraught with different problems. The first stage is preparatory, when the body accumulates materials necessary for its further development. A typical situation for this period is that a 10-11 year old boy gains weight, has a balanced character, and by the age of 14 - a sharp jump in growth and rudeness in communication.

The next stage is puberty, when drastic changes occur in the body. The teenager becomes excitable and irritable. Such character traits are explained by the fact that physiological changes cause the appearance of psychological ones. At this time, parents should be especially attentive and caring, since the sharp change in their son’s character is caused precisely by physiological changes. It will be very difficult for a boy to cope with them on his own.

The last stage is post-puberty. During this period, boys are attracted to the opposite sex. The child becomes aware of his sexuality. This is explained by the fact that at the previous stage, sexual characteristics and the reproductive system were formed. Parents should be prepared for the fact that their son will become intensely interested in girls, and that this may cause problems. What changes occur in the body?

Transitional stage 10-12 years

At this age, the testicles and penis of boys enlarge, vegetation appears on the pubis - the body is just beginning to “swing”, and the changes do not occur to the full extent. During this period, children are more interested in communicating with their peers rather than with their family. Some may exhibit aggression and child cruelty.

Transitional age 13-14 years

During this period, cartilage grows, vocal cords and muscles in the throat increase. This causes the boy's voice to begin to break. Hair throughout the body continues to grow rapidly, and vegetation - fluff - also appears above the upper lip. At the age of 13-14 years, boys begin to grow quickly, their shoulders become wider. Due to hormonal factors, some teenagers develop a rash on their face. This is a completely typical phenomenon, so there is no need to worry about it. So that the child is not afraid of this and is not ashamed, you need to tell him about it.

Transitional stage 15-16 years

Around this age, boys' voices break and their timbre becomes lower. At this stage, the teenager is actively looking for his “I”, trying to prove himself in all areas, stand out from the crowd, show off his dexterity, strength and other qualities. It is during this period that the teenager’s moral guidelines and system of assessing the world around him actively change. At this stage, the foundation is laid for an independent person who needs certain goals and desires in life. And the boy must definitely achieve them. The transitional age of 15-16 years is considered the most difficult from a psychological point of view. This manifests itself in the teenager’s frequent mood swings and reluctance to gain knowledge and attend school (technical school). At this age, boys show an excessive desire to live independently, without parents, and without any interference on their part.

What are the features of the transitional stage of 17-18 years?

This is the final stage of changes: puberty ends over time, the growth rate of the spine and cartilaginous tissues visibly decreases, and the attraction to the female sex increases significantly, since all these are manifestations of the post-pubertal period of development of boys. This period coincides with the end of school, the emergence of other responsibilities, the need for self-determination and the choice of one’s future path (further education, etc.).

It is at this age that teenagers begin to realize that they are already young men, they have grown up and will soon enter the adult world. At this stage, the main responsibility of parents is to talk with their son more often, to guide him on the right path, so that he does not stumble and become disillusioned in life.

Advice from a psychologist to parents of teenagers

It is necessary to listen to your son and accept his desire to grow up. It is worth listening to the child and making it clear that you seriously evaluate his emotions and experiences. At the age of 13, it is necessary to discuss with the boy certain problems that are considered to be adults.

Advice from a psychologist to parents of teenagers:

It is necessary to gradually wean yourself from perceiving your son as a child. It is worth creating an atmosphere of trust in the house. That is, the father and mother must treat their child with patience and trust.
All guys at that age should have their own space. This does not mean that it is necessary to let everything take its course and give your son complete freedom. However, it is worth remembering that the child may get tired of his surroundings.
It's best if he has his own room and time to be alone. Teach your child to say “no.” Many guys have problems with this in their teens. They want to be like their peers, go to abandoned buildings, unfinished construction sites, or engage in dangerous pastimes at train stations.
Often such teenagers cling to trains. Accordingly, it is necessary to convince the child that this is quite dangerous and it is not worth sacrificing your health, as well as your life, in order to seem the coolest among your peers.

Teenager

Hobbies

A teenager should have his own hobbies, this will help him realize himself. Many people go in for sports. A teenager can collect stamps, photographs, calendars, etc.

Creative activities can be a favorite activity: writing, drawing, etc. Help your teenager develop his existing abilities.

The boy should be protected from dangerous hobbies associated with bad companies.

Computer and Internet

It is important to know how your child spends time on a social network. What groups is he registered in, with whom and how does he communicate. It is important to do all this unobtrusively.

Make sure your son doesn't sit at the computer in the evening. Fatigue can cause a nervous breakdown.

Teenagers become computer dependent due to nervous disorders and inferiority complex. This is a very dangerous situation that requires the help of a psychologist.

Sports in a boy's life

A twelve-year-old child changes physiologically, his muscles grow, his shoulders become wider. It is important that the boy engages in some kind of sport.

It is better to start choosing a sport between the ages of 5 and 7 years. In this case, by the age of 12, the teenager will already have a useful activity. Swimming, hockey, judo, and athletics are suitable for overweight children. If the child is tall, then he can play volleyball or basketball. Speed and agility are important in football and hockey. The main thing is that the training is beneficial. Teenagers who lead an active lifestyle have fewer problems.

Education

Education is of great importance in raising a teenager. It forms a system of life values. Schoolchildren are taught to accept social responsibility and make the right choice in difficult life situations. Children are prepared for adulthood.

School

School is an important component of a teenager’s social development. It is designed to make the development process less painful for the child himself. Here the teenager learns to communicate and live in a team.

Sometimes a child does not want to go to school. The reasons may be different. For example, he does not see the point in studying or has bad relationships with peers. Explain in a confidential conversation what the consequences may be. Parents should increase motivation to study and set goals together with their child.

If a teenager does not have good relationships in a team, contact a teacher or psychologist. Help solve this problem.

Additional education

Continuing education institutions provide a wide range of interest classes. Some teenagers cannot express themselves in general education, in the classroom. You can develop your hobbies and talents in clubs. A teenager can participate in various competitions and competitions.

Such activities will help increase self-esteem, and even authority in the class. Motivation, self-realization and socialization develop.

Choice of profession

A serious issue in the life of a teenager is the choice of a future profession. Doing something you don't like leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction. Nowadays, it is worth thinking about who the child will be as early as possible. It is necessary to help the teenager decide on the direction of future activities.

Now many schools and even kindergartens have a certain focus. An experienced psychologist will help you make the right choice through testing. The child will be able to develop in accordance with his natural abilities.

By doing something that works and brings satisfaction, the teenager will be able to achieve good results and will feel comfortable and confident in the children's team.

How to raise a boy without a father: advice from psychologists

Particular attention must be paid to adolescents who grow up in the company of only one mother, without a father. Very often in such families there are two extremes. The mother constantly controls the child, becomes fixated on him, and tries to take out her anger because of personal failures. Often, excessive guardianship makes a child dependent. Usually such children become objects of ridicule and bullying by their peers. They are very helpless and do not know how to stand up for themselves.

How to raise a boy without a father, advice from psychologists:

Remember, under no circumstances should you openly express your dissatisfaction and take it out on your child. In this case, he will feel like a burden, guilty of all his mother’s problems. Typically, such teenagers withdraw and are subject to the bad influence of their peers.
If a mother is offended by her father, she should under no circumstances turn the child against him. It is necessary to communicate with the child on equal terms, not to be a mother and father at the same time. In this case, it will be difficult for a teenager to understand what a real woman and man should be like.
In a family where there is no father, it is necessary to find appropriate authority for the child. This could be a family friend, a cousin or uncle, or one of the relatives who often visits the family.

Communication

Rugrats!

This period is difficult for both teenagers and their parents. Mere knowledge of the psychology of a teenager cannot save anyone. Knowledge and practical application of this knowledge are completely different things.

A girl begins to claim her rights to freedom earlier than a grown-up boy.

Girls “grow up” before boys

They achieve this in the way they understand it, they begin to test in practice whether the prohibitions that their parents set really apply. It is at the age of 12 that many parents begin to conduct subtle politics with their children. You can no longer tell a 13-year-old child to “sit down for your homework,” and on the other hand, letting the situation take its course is also not an option. The main thing to do here is to create a trusting relationship with the teenager.

Advice for parents: Everything that was previously strictly prohibited is slowly being conquered by the child. And that's normal, don't be afraid of it.

This is the only way each of us went through the growing up stage. You need to remember yourself at this age. 12 years is a time of active trials and a lot of errors. Unfortunately, many parents are deeply mistaken that they can forbid something at this age. The formation of all life values and priorities occurs between the ages of 3 and 5 years.

How does a teenager feel a sense of adulthood?

And 12 years is the time to reap the benefits of that upbringing. Just because your boy refuses to do the dishes or make the bed doesn't mean he's incapable of doing it. Most likely, in this way he expresses his protest to the inevitable growing up, or hygiene and order are not in his values. During this difficult period, it is important to concentrate on the main thing, leaving out all the little things. It is important not to overdo it with parental pressure, so that such a protest does not become stronger for the rest of your life.

Advice for a teenage boy

Children themselves suffer from the changes that happen to them, painfully experiencing growing up.

Advice for a teenage boy:

In order not to refuse your peers, shift the blame to your parents. Accordingly, if you are afraid to say “no”, or do not want to feel like an outcast, say what your parents forbade. This will prevent you from getting into an unpleasant situation.
Always count to 10 if you want to say something offensive or do something unexpected.
For facts and explanations, turn to your parents.
Your parents were teenagers too, so don't be afraid to ask them for help.
Choose the right and understandable words for conversations with adults. Sometimes parents don't understand youth slang.
Maintain hygiene and cleanliness. During this period, sweating increases and acne may occur.
Don't ignore communication with your peers. But if you don't support their hobbies, or consider their activities dangerous, go home.
Don't shirk your homework and physical labor. This strengthens and prepares for adult life.
Take care of your health. How you feel directly affects your appearance. At first it may seem that there is enough health for children and grandchildren, but this is not so.
Listen to the opinions of your parents and friends, but do as you see fit.

Online correspondence

Daily routine for a 10-12 year old child

Maintaining a strict daily routine turns out to be difficult, since at this age teenage independence begins to manifest itself. During this period, parents must make compromises to maintain the correct rhythm of the children's day. You also need to not just indicate when and what to do, but you should, giving reasonable arguments, explain to your son or daughter why this is necessary and how not following the routine will harm them.

You also need to allow the teenager to experience the disadvantages of violations. For example, if he sat in front of the TV or computer until late at night, then he will not be able to easily wake up for school in the morning, and during the day he will suffer from poor health. Having encountered this, you are unlikely to want to repeat the mistake.

Advice from a psychologist on how to help a teenager

At the age of 11-13 years there may be first attempts to try tobacco and alcohol. It is necessary to give the child freedom, but still control his circle of friends. If one of them drinks or smokes, try to gently explain to the child that this is not the best way to spend time. It is very difficult at this age to control their pastime, since they spend most of the day at school. Accordingly, at this time they can communicate with friends.

Advice from a psychologist on how to help a teenager:

Starting from the age of nine, it is best to come up with additional activities for the child to minimize the amount of free time. It has been proven that teenagers whose time is not controlled by their parents are unoccupied and often find themselves in unpleasant situations and bad company. Conversely, children who spend almost all their free time playing sports and attending clubs are less susceptible to peer influence, since they do not have time to think about bad things.
It is necessary for a teenager to have a hobby that calms him down and helps him achieve a state of balance. These can be mental and physical activities. Perhaps this is running your own blog or website on YouTube.
You cannot insist and force a teenager to do something specific. He must make his own choice. Remember that the child is not a copy of you, so he is not obliged to follow the instructions. It is necessary to assign certain household responsibilities to the teenager. This could be washing the floor, cleaning rooms.

Relationships
Here you can also read advice on various topics, for example :

How to win people over?
How to love a man correctly?
How to deal with stress and depression?
Why is it important to be able to forgive people?
My husband beats me, what should I do in this situation?

You cannot exploit a child and shift your work to him. However, a teenager must understand that he is a member of the family and has certain responsibilities. He is responsible for his actions, so he can choose what he will do.

Features of adolescent development

Puberty is the most difficult of all stages of child development. The stage under consideration is also called transitional, since the so-called “transformation” of a child into an adult occurs, the transition from childhood to maturity. This transformation affects all aspects of a teenager’s life, his anatomical and physiological formation, intellectual and moral maturation, as well as all subtypes of activity, namely: gaming, educational and work.

At the stage of puberty, the circumstances of a child’s existence and his activities change significantly, which leads to the need to transform mental processes and break old, previously established forms of interaction with peers and adults. Educational activities are complicated by increased demands, increased workload, and the emergence of new sciences that need to be systematically studied. All this requires mental processes at a deeper level: thorough generalizations and reasoned evidence, understanding of abstract connections between objects, and the development of abstract concepts.

In addition, the teenager’s principles, worldview, social position, and position among classmates undergo significant transformations. The child begins to play a more significant role in the school environment and family. In this regard, he begins to face more demands from society and parents, which become more serious and thorough in content.

In the process of complex educational activities, the intelligence of adolescents noticeably improves. The content of the sciences learned at school, the modification of the nature and content of educational activities develop in them the ability to independently think, generalize, reason, analyze, compare and summarize.

In addition, the described stage in the maturation of a child’s personality is also marked by puberty, which seriously complicates the passage of the developmental stage in question.

Taming the Shrew Girl

Girls who do not have the right to their own personal “no” at home begin to actively protest in public.

Unfortunately, it is better to sort things out within the walls of the house than to bring the problem to public attention. And parents need to be patient during this period, this must be overcome, this is the first tangible signal of growing up. And obedient father's and mother's daughters remain infantile for the rest of their lives.

Adolescence crisis often leads to deviant behavior

The adolescence period in children exists for the purpose of developing the necessary immunity for life - to try a lot in order to make the right choice. This is a period when children experience disappointment in their parents and there is misunderstanding. It is then that the basic life values are created that accompany a person throughout his life.

Teenagers try to do everything against the will of their parents, actively expressing their contrived independence.

Teenagers need to be patient during puberty.
Parents will have to be patient during this period. During this period, a teenager experiences a hidden need for approval and support from his parents. It is during this period that adolescents experience low self-esteem, self-acceptance and self-evaluation, and low self-worth.

Two more signs of prepuberty

The second sign of the onset of prepuberty seems to us to be a significant increase in motor activity: according to modern video observations, per day 11-12 year olds walk - or rather, run - a distance one and a half times greater than 6 months before. In other words, starting at 10.5–11 years, the distance they travel during the day doubles. And their average movement speed also doubles!

The third important sign is increased curiosity coupled with increased attention to the conversations of adults: the boy listens carefully to the conversations of adults, especially if there are several of them, adults, which you have not observed before. He does not understand everything, but he closely watches the communication, asks many questions that are not always convenient and appropriate, and spies on parents and guests. But he rarely expresses his opinion. As a rule, he pays special attention to the visits of his mother’s friends or sister’s friends, in a word, to the communication of women with each other: he already has an interest in the opposite sex.

It is amazing that after a year or two, or even just a few months, with the onset of real puberty and an increase in testosterone to a level of 18 nmol/l and above, conversations between adults, conversations between adults and with him cease to be any interesting. Only conversations with peers, members of his “reference group” become interesting: they can last for hours, and even to qualified psychologists they seem like “talks about nothing.”

The thorny path of growing up: what happens to a teenager

By the age of twelve or thirteen, changes occur in all areas, and a crisis is brewing.

Body. The child grows, his body changes, which, due to uneven growth, often seems funny and absurd.

The child is, as it were, between two shores: childhood and adulthood.

Mood. Due to the play of hormones, the mood constantly changes: rage gives way to euphoria, resentment immediately turns into joy. Just now he was laughing at a ridiculous character on YouTube, and now he was upset to tears at his friends who forgot to invite him into the yard. Not every adult can withstand such loads.

Conflicting attitude of adults. He feels like an adult. Every being strives to become one. Parents continue to see him as a child and begin to demand adult responsibility. On the one hand: “so that I’m already home at 9”, “go now and do your homework”, “don’t communicate with Pasha anymore, I don’t like him.” On the other hand: “at your age I was already closing cans,” “what an example you are setting for your brother,” “what a big deal, but what’s the point,” “it’s time to think about the future.”

I am the mother of a teenager, and I am no longer the main person in his life

Other milestones

By this age, many teenagers have their own social media accounts and can communicate with their friends in private. For some teenagers, this brings a sense of relief because they often talk to their friends a little differently than they talk to their parents.

For other 13-year-olds, electronic communication means added pressure. They may feel obligated to join in conversations to be accepted by their peers, or they may feel like their friends are having more fun than them when they look at photos on social media.