What should a married woman do if she wants to forget her lover?

If the passing infatuation is over and the passion has cooled down, then you already want to leave behind all the secret meetings with your lover, forget everything and continue to live. And it is right. You shouldn't continue a meaningless relationship. But it is not always possible to objectively assess the situation and get rid of a harmful love addiction. Therefore, a married woman should use methods that will help her return to her family, restore her relationship with her husband and increase her self-esteem.

Why relationships with your lover are meaningless

To understand this, you need to take a close look at the situation that is currently happening in your life. A careless affair on the side is quite ugly, not only from an ethical point of view, but it also has other arguments that confirm that a relationship with a lover is absolutely meaningless and useless. This may include a deterioration in relations with her husband, nervous tension, the possible collapse of family relationships, and so on.

Why do women in happy marriages cheat?

Priya couldn't understand why she was in this situation. She also believed that this only happened when there were problems in the marriage. However, while she was listing all the advantages of her married life, I began to suspect that her betrayal had nothing to do with her husband or the relationship.

In such cases, a stubborn search for the reasons for betrayal in marriage becomes an example of the manifestation of the so-called “street lamp effect”, when a drunkard looks for his keys not where he lost them, but where there is light. This may explain why many couples therapists cling desperately to the symptom theory. It is much easier to blame an unhappy marriage than to face the complexity of our ambitions, desires and aspirations.

The problem is that, unlike the drunkard who never finds the keys, the therapist can always find faults in the marriage. But they do not always provide the necessary key to unlock the true meaning of betrayal.

A thorough examination of Priya's marriage would definitely have yielded some result - it would have turned out that she is in a dependent position because she earns less than her husband; that she tends to suppress her anger and avoid conflict; that two personalities are gradually fused into a single “we,” which is most accurately reflected by the phrase: “Did we like this restaurant?” Having chosen this path, she and I would have talked about a lot of things, but not about what needed to be talked about. Even if a couple does have “problems,” this does not mean that they led to the betrayal.

“I think it’s about you, not your marriage,” I told Priya. - Tell me about you.

- I've always been good. A good daughter, a good wife, a good mother. A diligent student. An excellent student.

Illusion about the future.

If a woman has a relationship with a married man who, wanting to woo her, eagerly promises everything she wants to hear, showers her with flowers and gifts. Then his promises come down to this kind: “We will definitely be together, but later,” “I will divorce my wife when the child grows up... my wife gets better...”, “The work situation will improve...” and so on and so forth. Remember, if a man wants to be with you, he will not put your relationship on hold. He will do everything to be by your side as early as possible. And if he only talks, but does nothing, it means that he is completely satisfied with this state of affairs. And for a married woman, this can destroy her family.

What to say when breaking up

If you have decided to break up, you need to act decisively. You should not postpone the farewell conversation and give the person false hopes. Women try to end relationships with phrases:

• "Let's remain friends";
• “Maybe we should separate for a week, a month, and then we’ll be together?”;
• "I need time to think".

But they harm not only the girl, but also the partner. There is no certainty in them, which means there can be no talk of a point in the relationship.

The farewell speech should be uncompromising and decisive. After it, the lover must understand that a woman’s choice cannot be corrected.

READ A lover is jealous of her husband: why this happens and how to correct the situation

You can’t leave on a negative note, devaluing all the relationships you had with your partner. It's better to tame your anger. A calm breakup will help you get over the consequences faster. It is better to say the following phrases:

• "I don't want to be with you anymore";
• " I do not love you";
• “I want to be a wife and mother, but this won’t happen with you”;
• “I realized that I love my husband and don’t want to cheat on him anymore”;
• “Thank you for all the wonderful hours we spent together, but this is where our communication ends,” etc.

You should not part with a person by correspondence or telephone. It is advisable to wait for a personal meeting. Only face to face should you explain to a man the reasons why the breakup occurs.

It is not easy to survive the days of mental anguish, but it is possible with minimal emotional loss. The main thing is to patiently overcome all stages of separation.

False feelings.

Very often, women think that they will gain nothing by starting a relationship without obligations, for the sake of ordinary sex. But, as a rule, they are wrong. The woman has a complex psyche. She cannot, like a man, forget her partner in the morning. Her feelings often become deeper, and the separation is quite difficult. Therefore, it is better to end all relations with your lover as early as possible, so that you can easily and quickly forget him.

Psychological advice

Breaking up is stressful for a person. It can negatively affect all areas of life, lead to deterioration in health, communication with colleagues, relatives, and children.

If you don’t know how to survive a breakup with a married or single lover, take into account the following advice from a psychologist:

1. Control of emotions. Black and white stripes in life are the norm. No one is immune from grief, resentment and separation. When sick, a person takes medicine, and when sadness is detected, one needs to bring positivity into life in order to increase the concentration of endorphins (hormones of joy).
2. Refuse yourself from self-flagellation. Everyone makes mistakes and does not achieve the result they dreamed of.
3. Changing your perspective on relationships. You need to analyze your actions and the consequences to which they led.
4. Don't isolate yourself. It is easier to survive pain in the company of pleasant friends.
5. To survive the end of a relationship with a former boyfriend, you don’t need to listen to sad songs and watch melodramas. They will aggravate the situation and drive you into depression.
6. Negativity should be directed in a useful direction. If you want to tear and throw, put all your energy into cleaning the house.
7. You shouldn't be angry with all men. Among them there are worthy specimens. If you don’t close your heart to love, then you will definitely meet such a person.
8. You can change your image. Experimenting with your appearance will help you get through a difficult period. The main thing is not to go to extremes.

No matter how difficult it is to survive a breakup with a married or single man, every woman should remember that she is worthy of love, happiness and care. And if a man doesn’t want to give it to her, then he’s not her man.

If your hopes come true. What's next.

If a woman nevertheless managed to take her lover away from the family and become his legal wife, then she should be prepared for the fact that the period when she received a huge number of gifts and had freedom will quickly end. In addition, we cannot exclude the possibility of a repetition of the situation that your chosen one’s wife had to endure. You'll have to be on your guard all the time.

From the prose of life to a parallel universe?

Romances on the side often unfold in a parallel universe, free from the hardships of everyday life and therefore offering hope for deliverance. For some, this universe becomes a world of possibilities—an alternative reality where they can rethink their lives and start over.

But the main feature of this ephemeral universe - and the key to understanding its appeal - lies in its inaccessibility. Romances on the side are by definition unstable, doubtful and contradictory. Uncertainty, uncertainty, not knowing when we will meet our lover again - in other words, those feelings that we would not tolerate in a primary relationship - fan the flames in a secret affair. Because we cannot get a lover, we continue to want him, because we always want what we cannot get. It is this inaccessibility that gives affairs an erotic charm that keeps the fire of desire alive.

The affair contrasts even more with the reality where many, like Priya, choose lovers who cannot become their permanent partners. When we fall in love with someone from a different class, culture, or generation, we play with possibilities that we would not normally consider.

Indulging in passion, lovers dream about what they will do when they finally find themselves together. But the ban is lifted, a divorce occurs, the sublime mixes with the mundane, the romance enters the real world - and what next? If Priya and her tattooed beau had their own bedroom, would they be as happy as in the back of his pickup truck?

I have met many women (and men) like Priya. I acknowledge the power of their experiences. I am not inclined to underestimate their importance and call them trivial, selfish or immature. But at the same time, I question the arrogance of lovers who believe that their great romance has made all other aspects of life bland. I warned Priya that her poetic plane would crash sooner or later, after which she would most likely realize that the prose of her life was very important to her.

Can such a lover be trusted?

If you are in a relationship with a married man, then think twice about whether you can trust him. After all, in fact, he is betraying his wife by dating you. Yes, he may have developed feelings and is uncontrollably attracted to a new woman. But then he should first divorce his wife, and then enter into a new relationship. Otherwise it will be a betrayal of a loved one. By the way, if you do develop a serious relationship with him, then be prepared for the fact that he may leave you for another, more interesting woman.

Classic mistakes to avoid

Sometimes women make mistakes when breaking up: they keep their lover’s things, abuse alcohol or food. It’s strange that the girl broke up with the man who preferred his wife, and she keeps his toothbrush or shirts at home. We urgently get rid of them so that they do not torment us with memories when they come across our eyes.

You definitely shouldn’t drink yourself to death or eat your grief with buns. There are many other ways to distract yourself from the problem. Alcohol and baked goods, on the contrary, will add more problems in the form of headaches, hangovers, binge drinking and excess weight. And if you indulge in sweets, then you will also have problems with your teeth. Parting with your lover is a great reason to take care of yourself, proper nutrition, and things that you haven’t had time for for a long time.

Believing that life is over is also a mistake. It continues and you need to fill it with new emotions, impressions, goals and achievements. There was a lot of time to learn to live without a former lover and enjoy other processes.

Thus, in order to break up with your lover, you need to carefully prepare for a conversation with him, choose your words, and tune in to possible resistance on his part. You must immediately decide for yourself that resuming the relationship is impossible. It will be difficult to move through the stages of loss, but there are many ways to help ease the experience.

How to love your husband again

If you have come to the realization that your relationship with your lover does not promise you anything good, then a reassessment of your relationship with your husband begins. You want him to love you again. And, if your family has not yet suffered from your frivolous behavior, then consider yourself lucky. Now your task is to restore the favor and former feelings of your spouse. And for this:

• Understand how important your husband is to you. What connects you and how much you have experienced together;
• Remember the beginning of your relationship, how you were in love and how you felt at that moment. Look at your husband, perhaps you will see the same qualities again;
• Try to spend more time with your spouse and pay attention to his positive sides;
• Try to compare him with other males, and find those features that make him stand out among them;
• Give yourself the attitude that in the future you will never cheat on your husband, and be completely honest with him. But this does not mean that you should admit to cheating, as you may lose your husband;
• Start restoring your spiritual relationship with your husband. Tell him about your experiences and listen carefully to his;
• Change your relationship with your husband sexually. Let them flirt and coquetry. Act as if he is your lover.

How to get through a difficult period

Dealing with the end of a relationship is not easy: waves of stress, despair and hatred roll in one after another. To pull yourself together and continue to fight for a happy future, you need:

1. Train yourself to enjoy the little things every day. Bringing positivity out of small details is a habit that can be developed. Psychotherapist and author of the book “How to stay sane” Philippe Peri believes that if a person’s brain is not used to extracting pleasant emotions from what is happening, the neural pathways responsible for positive news are not activated. If the brain does not know how to “turn on” “good” neurons, a person cannot produce good news on his own, so he programs himself to feel bad.
2. Realize that bad experiences are just as valuable as good ones. Experiences should not be avoided or ashamed. It is not for nothing that a person is given a whole range of feelings. Negative emotions are a guide to a person, his actions, a “warning sign” that asks him to stop and think. Only by experiencing and accepting certain emotions is a person able to analyze them and prevent mistakes in the future.
3. Shift attention from yourself to other people. To feel better, it is common practice in Christianity to pray for other people. You don't have to be a religious person to wish your neighbor happiness. With kind deeds towards others, your own mental relief will come.

You can get through this difficult time by reminding yourself why such a step was taken.

What should a married woman do to get rid of memories of her lover?

It often happens that a woman has already ended her relationship with her lover, but she cannot forget him. What to do?

Setting goals

Understand that your life cannot revolve only around your ex-lover. Think about your goals, dreams and desires that you wanted to fulfill. Switch your attention to them. Your future life depends only on you. Look at past relationships as life experiences that made you smarter.

Remove from your environment everything that reminds you of your ex-lover.

Surely, after the end of the relationship, you still have some things, photographs or memories of how good it was for you. And now all this haunts you and brings you back again and again to the time when you felt good and prevents you from forgetting about your lover. Therefore, get rid of everything that connects you with that relationship: gifts, photos, correspondence, delete all his numbers and unfollow his accounts.

Don't do any soul-searching.

If your feelings for your lover were deep enough, then it will be difficult for you to come to terms with the loss. And there will be a danger of immersing yourself in yourself, starting to feel sorry for yourself and delving into your feelings. Don't let this happen. Call your friends, go somewhere. In general, try by all means to cheer yourself up and take your mind off thoughts about past relationships.

Stages of separation that a person goes through

To find out how to survive a breakup with minimal consequences, you need to determine what stage the person is at. Psychologists distinguish 5 stages:

• denial of the situation;
• disturbance;
• bargaining (an attempt to restore relations);
• depression;
• humility (acceptance of the situation).

To recover from a breakup, you need to make sure that you are not fixated on one of the stages. Only moving forward will help you survive the emotional shock and open up new opportunities. The characteristic features of each stage will help you understand this.

Stage of rejection of reality

After a breakup, a person is not ready to abruptly accept the fact that the relationship has ended. The situation is aggravated by stress.

The main signs of this stage are:

• acute attacks of panic (neuroses, anxiety);
• disappointment in life;
• despair (melancholy, stupor);
• lack of sleep or, conversely, sleeping all day long;
• loss of appetite.

Even if a woman has proposed a breakup, it is difficult for her at this stage to explain to herself that this is better.

The prolonged stage of non-acceptance indicates the presence of fear of experiencing bitter mental torment. To survive this period, you need:

1. Soberly assess the current situation that led to such drastic actions.
2. It is important to live in a familiar rhythm, not to be afraid of routine and not to plunge headlong into unimaginable adventures. But a moderate search for interests won't hurt.

Don't be afraid to turn to loved ones for support. It is easier to survive a breakup with your beloved married man together than alone.

Stage of indignation and anger

Denial is replaced by emotionally strong feelings. But along with them comes awareness of the situation. This stage passes quickly, but it is characterized by bright and expressive manifestations. Among the most common bouquet of feelings at this stage are:

• anger;
• resentment;
• guilt;
• aggression;
• irritation.

To survive this stage, you need to carefully control your actions, otherwise you will later bitterly regret actions taken in a fit of emotion.

READ A dish that is served cold, or how to take revenge on your husband’s mistress

Bargain

During this period, the initiator of the breakup may regret what he did. The fear of moving on without a lover gives rise to attempts to renew the relationship. Trading may be accompanied by thoughts:

• “I was in a hurry”;
• “I am ready to forgive”;
• "I won't survive."

It is important to understand that the return of your ex-lover will not change the situation. Awareness of this will help you survive the exciting moment.

Depression

After accepting a breakup, women often become depressed. Psychologists believe that this period is the most difficult of all. There is a high risk of suicide. Depression is accompanied by apathy. It can take root in all areas - work, study, hobbies, family, friends.

Concentrating on people and activities that are dear to your heart will help you survive a dangerous period of time. You need to remember all the hobbies that made you happy before meeting your lover.

If this stage drags on, a psychotherapist will help you get through this difficult situation.

Humility

After depression comes the stage of accepting reality. This is where building a new happy life begins.

The stage is characterized by the following metamorphoses:

• the story with the lover is a thing of the past;
• thoughts about an ex-man are replaced by more significant plans every day;
• there is a desire to move forward without a lover;
• the psyche was able to survive all stages of separation and begins to learn to live with the new experience of the former relationship.

When your soul becomes easy, it is important to believe in yourself and your strength.

Why does suffering arise due to lost love?

Some people, convinced that they have found great love, for some reason suddenly lose it. For many, this turns out to be a serious trauma and turns into a deep mental crisis, which can lead to murder or suicide.

Many people suffer because of lost love. Let's consider how pathological reactions to disappointment in love differ from natural ones? Natural reactions such as loneliness and sadness are well known and most often help a person become more mature. Pathological reactions cause great harm, so you need to learn to avoid them. They arise in those who see in love not just joy, but primarily narcissistic satisfaction. Love only strengthens their narcissism, inflates their self-esteem, promotes self-admiration and self-gratification. All efforts are directed towards this.

The narcissist thinks that everything around him exists to satisfy him. This conviction begins in childhood, when he sees that his mother immediately satisfies all his needs. It begins to seem to him that she and the whole world were created only for him. Subsequently, if the mother overprotects and protects her child, he develops a feeling of omnipotence, on the basis of which narcissism develops. As he grows up, he discovers that he is not omnipotent, but this does not relieve him of the complex, the roots of which are deeply rooted in the unconscious.

To increase self-esteem, the narcissist must resort to external support, which can be called “narcissist feeding.” Love can be the best “feed” for a narcissist. For him, a love relationship means, first of all, satisfaction, so the departure of his partner causes pathological reactions in him. It seems to such a person that with the loss of his beloved he has lost life itself or that there is no point in continuing to live. This deep suffering is not due to the loss of the beloved, but to the cessation of the “feeding” that he provided.

Let's imagine a person who, like a deflated balloon, needs another person of the opposite sex to constantly inflate him. Obviously, if the partner one day refuses to do this, the person becomes devastated and feels as if he is dying. In fact, why he yearns is because of the air that allowed him to feel his own importance. Suddenly he lacks imaginary volume, he feels his insignificance, feels that life has lost its meaning - and then he wants to die. This example epitomizes the narcissist's disappointment in love. He suffers not from the loss of love, but from the loss of the “feeding” to which he is accustomed. This becomes obvious when the lost love object is easily found with a replacement that has an equivalent ability to provide such “feeding”.

Thus, suffering in love is quite relative, since it is not always possible to establish the line between true love and narcissism. You cannot suffer from the loss of something that never really existed, but existed only in the imagination. Suffering is caused by the destruction of a pleasant fantasy and a decrease in self-esteem. The only rational solution is to understand what really happened and look for support within yourself, not outside.

Ways to help you get through a difficult period

There are many ways to quickly recover from a breakup with your married partner. They will ease the breakup and the stages of experiencing separation. You can change your appearance, your place of residence, go on a trip, take up a new hobby, meet with friends more, or focus all your energy on building a career.

Changes in appearance

You can start by changing your appearance. To do this, you need to invite your friends to go shopping and buy new things. Then go to a beauty salon, get a haircut, recolor your hair, cut off your bangs if you’ve never had them in your life, or get a bio-perm. You should also refresh your manicure and try a color that you haven’t painted your nails before. These procedures will distract you from your worries and help you cope with melancholy.

Change of residence or travel

When the ghosts of the past haunt you after breaking up with your lover, frequent meetings with him occur, this begins to excite your feelings. If possible, then you can move to live in another area or even city, so that familiar places do not remind you of your former lover.

If the idea of ​​moving is rejected, it’s enough to change the environment for a while and go on a trip. It will allow you to escape from memories, experience new emotions, and get rid of sadness. New experiences will help you get over the breakup faster. During the trip you will meet people who will tell you a lot of interesting things. Excursions to famous places will fill the mind with new facts and useful information, so there will be no time to experience the feelings of a breakup. And it would be a shame to waste time on this.

If it is not possible to change your place of residence or go on a trip, it is enough to at least start cleaning the apartment. Physical labor is a great fight against sadness. Rearranging your apartment is also not such an impossible idea. The new interior will refresh your thoughts and restore peace of mind. Changing the wallpaper or curtains would also work. Getting rid of old junk will also help.

Interesting hobby

A new hobby can reboot your brain and distract you from suffering. There are many ideas: learn to knit, sew, embroider, play the guitar, take up dancing, sign up for yoga, master the splits. Book lovers should start collecting a library, sorting books by genre, writer, cover color. After this process, you can sit in a chair with a cup of tea or coffee, pick up a book and go on a literary binge. Let the book be about love, suffering, in which you can see the ways in which the heroes of the book pages experience grief. After reading some works, your own story will seem funny and absurd.

For those who don't like books, head straight to the gym or the skating rink. In the gym, physical activity will help you take your mind off your worries, and at the skating rink you will have the opportunity to learn how to skate if someone doesn’t know how. In winter you can go skiing.

Communication with friends or relatives

Depression is a dangerous thing. It’s better not to be alone, but to invite guests: girlfriends, parents, friends. You can go to them yourself. Communication with loved ones will allow you to express all the pain, hear and feel the support of family and friends. They will tell you other stories from life, and when you hear them, you understand that you are not the only one to whom this happened.

Career Focus

Being immersed in work really helps many people, because there is no time left to think about personal problems. And in the evening, when you return home, you don’t have the strength to think about them. Some people even take work home just to immerse themselves in it and not let bad thoughts enter their heads. Only career, only work.

How to get ready for a breakup: advice from psychologists

It is important to understand that there is no painless way; healing mental wounds will still take time.
A mistress who has decided to get rid of addiction must understand that another woman exists not only in a man’s stories. She is a very real person, forced to live in deception. Does the lover have a reason to be proud of such a relationship? Does she respect a man who leads a double life and does not spare the feelings of two women at once?

Many married men cite discord with their spouse, whose divorce is prevented by habit or common children. In all these excuses, the mistress sees the hope that one day her beloved will get divorced and will belong to her completely.

It is worth looking back at the experience of generations and understanding that a person who wants to get a divorce will get a divorce without excuses or delays. Words spoken in the heat of passion often turn out to be empty chatter.

The novelty of feelings and the opportunity to feel needed by both his wife and his mistress are what attracts a man to such a life. The decision to break up remains with the woman, since the lover is completely satisfied with the situation.

How do people cope with breakups?

It's no secret that one of the basic needs of an individual is the need for love. But as soon as your mind begins to understand that you and your love have been betrayed, reality is perceived in gray. Because of this, depression sets in, and it is very difficult for the body to readjust and accept the changed conditions, since the brain is still absorbed in love memories.

At first after a breakup, the experiences seem unbearable and painful. Women can spontaneously shed tears; they find it unbearable to look at couples in love and wedding processions. Men also suffer, but try not to show it to others. In the future, they categorically forbid themselves from falling in love again, thereby trying to protect themselves from new suffering. Sometimes men unknowingly begin to take revenge on all women: by purposefully falling in love with them, and then abruptly abandoning them.

The period of separation can be marked by severe depression with lingering symptoms, as well as the following signs: motor retardation, decreased mood, pessimistic outlook on life, loss of interest in everything that is happening. A depressive state is marked by a decrease in self-esteem. To relieve unpleasant sensations, people often resort to drinking alcohol, as well as other available psychotropic substances.

How do people cope with breakups? Psychologists have noted that after parting with their loved ones, people regret not for them, but for the emotions and sensations that they received from their partners. Therefore, a person shows pity and selfishness towards himself.

Conducted research indicates that separation is often a severe psycho-emotional shock, leading to frustration, psychological discomfort, as well as a feeling of humiliation and loss of self-worth.

Parting undermines a person’s deepest beliefs about devotion, love, and family. In this case, both feelings, emotions, and the system of beliefs, beliefs and worldview become vulnerable.

The results of studies of people during separation showed the prevalence of two models of behavior - the aggression complex and the victim complex. The aggression complex is marked by emotions of bitterness, bitterness, irritation, desire for retribution, revenge and self-aggression.

The victim complex is characterized by apathy, resentment, humiliation, helplessness, sadness, decreased vitality, and painful memories.

The person feels helpless and also unable to overcome the consequences of separation. He often blames himself for what happened and his inability to foresee the development of such events in a timely manner. In women, the severity of sacrifice is more prevalent than in men.

The aggression complex occurs due to feelings of injustice, as well as forms of auto-aggression and self-accusation.

Other signs of anxiety include: emotional numbness, suicidal tendencies, feelings of hopelessness, global inhibition of feelings, and psychosomatic symptoms. Difficulties often arise when performing ordinary household or work duties.

The experience of separation leaves an imprint on all subsequent relationships. Having experienced psychological trauma, people do not enter into new relationships soon. Often a person suffers from loneliness for a long time, but does not make any attempts to make new acquaintances due to internal unpreparedness.

What stages does a man go through?

Psychologists do not share whether a man is worried about a breakup with his beloved woman, wife, or because of a separation from his mistress. Any break in a relationship falls into the category of loss of something valuable. Therefore, here the man goes through certain stages of loss, some of which the wife may notice. The only difference here is the speed of passage through these stages, which depends only on how strong and deep the lover’s feelings for his mistress were:

1. The first stage is called denial. At this stage, a person cannot believe what happened. He still hopes that his beloved will come back, he continues to make plans for spending time together, sometimes his hand reaches out to call his mistress. A man does not accept reality because he was not ready for it or does not want to accept it.
2. The second stage is called anger. At this stage, a person experiences hatred, anger, dissatisfaction towards the one he lost. A man can be angry both openly and within himself, unnoticed by others. But still, a man cannot completely extinguish these feelings within himself. His anger can spill out on his wife, children, and work colleagues who irritate him with every little thing. Even a mistress, because of whom a man is angry, can suffer in some way. For example, a man can call her to say a bunch of nasty things, or meet her at the entrance to stir up old feelings.

Often at this stage, a man blames either himself, or his mistress, or even his wife, especially if she caused the breakup of the lovers’ relationship. By the way, if it was the wife who separated the lovers, then at this stage the man becomes so aggressive that he ceases to be afraid of anything. He runs to his mistress to return her and unite, without fear that his wife will find out about this and might leave him.

If a man does not return his mistress, and the wife was not the reason for the breakup of the love union, then some tension will still be felt in the marriage. A man may accidentally snap at his wife, who may wonder what dictates his behavior.

1. The third stage is called bargaining. Here the man is trying to come to an agreement with himself: how long will he still love his mistress, how much time will he give her to return, what concessions is he willing to make if his mistress starts returning, etc. It is at this stage that a man can break loose and go to his mistress to bargain with her. He doesn’t seem to be trying to bring her back, but he shows up on her doorstep to tell her what she’s lost and what will happen if she doesn’t return to him. He will tell her how much time he gives her to come to her senses.

In this way, the psyche tries to calm itself down and distance itself from negative emotions that a man cannot otherwise eliminate.

1. The fourth stage is called depression. At this stage, the man finally accepts reality. He realizes that nothing can be returned. From the realization of loss, a person falls into apathy, depression, nothing interests him.
2. The fifth stage is the final one – a new life. Here the man realizes that he is wasting time on unreasonable worries and thinking about what cannot be returned. He has a desire to start a new life, he pulls himself together and, as often happens, looks for a new mistress.