In the modern world, representatives of the fair half of humanity have all the rights equal to men. Women are able to realize themselves not only in the role of mother and homemaker, but also in the social world, business, build a successful career, study, develop not only as a woman-mother, but also as a person in general. At the same time, the other side of the coin appeared - more and more men began to meet who had ceased to be the breadwinner in the family and were fully supported by their wife, refusing to work.
A woman is sad, a man is lying on the sofa
To begin with, it is worth finding out the main reasons for the phenomenon when a man does not want to work, only after determining methods of how to force his husband to work.
Reasons why the husband does not want to work
Some of the most common reasons why a man refuses to work include the following:
- The man is used to living at the expense of others. When a man is used to being supported, forcing him to work is usually a hopeless option.
- The husband is a creative person. This phenomenon is often found among artists, writers, and musicians. The reason for the unemployment of such a man is that the creative person begins to wait for well-deserved fame to come, the world to recognize his talents, and then wealth to come.
- The man is lazy. The reason here is that the feeling of laziness exceeds the impulse to work.
Unemployed man lying on sofa with food
- Procrastination for later. The husband is going to spend his “last” day today in front of the TV with a bottle of beer; tomorrow he will definitely “begin the search.”
- Bad experience. Due to psychological problems at the previous workplace, there was a fear of repeating unpleasant situations again. Confidence in one's own strength and success is undermined.
- Lack of work in your specialty. Some men brush off excuses that five or six years of university cannot be wasted, so he waits for a job in his specialty to come along.
- Working "for my uncle." The man explains the reasons for his inactivity seven days a week by saying that he comes up with his own project, since any work for his “uncle” is humiliation for him. A “real man” cannot afford such humiliation.
Why does a man refuse to work?
Women are always confused by this question. There can be an infinite number of reasons why a husband does not work. Some of them are very subjective, but it is still possible to identify general criteria.
- Your husband lost his job due to layoff or layoff, and is now completely at a loss and doesn’t know how to proceed.
- Lack of demand for his profession. Perhaps over time it has lost its promise. Or your man suddenly realized that he was doing something he didn’t like. The result is the same - a pause in your career and earning money.
- The husband is lazy. Men quickly understand when a woman is ready to act as a caring mother and take all the problems upon herself. Why bother if you always have money, food, and children at home? You can relax and lie on the couch/play games. By the way, I already wrote an article about how to overcome laziness at work.
IMPORTANT! As a rule, a lazy man can always be recognized before marriage. But love is blind, and the girl does not notice the shortcomings of the chosen one.
- Congratulations! Your man is a gigolo. He is very charming, attentive, polite, does everything to please you, but his words and actions do not correspond in any way. A man constantly promises you mountains of gold and assures you that he is ready to do anything for love, but for some reason he is in no hurry to get a regular job. At the same time, he finds a lot of good reasons: he is a creative person, he is unlucky, no one understands him... But you believe and continue to give him money, hoping for a bright future.
- Excessive immaturity. For example, your spouse has not had to deal with major life issues on his own. The parents had no problems, they helped their son get settled, and everything turned out so well that the man was simply not used to dealing with minor problems.
- Your chosen one has a bad character : it is difficult for him to get along with people, join the team, pass interviews and communicate with the employer. Therefore, the husband does not want to work, preferring to stay at home.
Types of men who don't want to work
Relationships with a married man - what to do if you fall in love, how to break up
According to a number of studies, psychologists have found that the following psychotypes of men have no desire to work:
- "Misanthrope". This type does not like people and feels discomfort in the company of colleagues and co-workers. The reasons may include psychological trauma, temperament, and character traits.
- "Melancholic." This is a sensual type who perceives all his experienced failures quite painfully. Sees problems even where there are none, overreacts to all comments, criticism and demands.
- "Sissy". This type is accustomed to the fact that all responsibility was previously borne by the mother or parents, so the situation does not change when a wife appears. There are usually two reasons for this behavior. The first is that in childhood there was excessive guardianship, which broke the will and destroyed the inclinations of initiative. The second is indulgence in every whim, when a man was pampered beyond measure as a child. As an adult, he is sure that he will get everything, free of charge and immediately.
- "Careful". This type is afraid of making a mistake, so in order not to fail, he does nothing. The deeper reason lies in self-doubt and fear of doing the wrong thing.
Man with a scared face showing caution
- "Narcissus". He considers himself a top-class professional, with no doubt that he was underestimated. As a result, he comes to the conclusion that they are simply jealous of him. Therefore, there is no point in looking for a job: he will still remain misunderstood and undervalued.
A man is a narcissist, with a crown on his head and his arms crossed over his chest
Unhappy with your husband? Increase your self-esteem
I’ll finish the topic “How to inspire your husband?” one simple truth. A woman does not need to motivate a man when she is happy with everything. All these stories about “inspiring, stimulating” come from dissatisfaction with her husband and his life, which he must improve.
But what is the husband’s perception based on? What do you think he is like? Partially yes. But only partially. A major part of how you treat your man is based on your self-esteem. Your spouse may have a lot of advantages, but you really don’t see them because you are used to devaluing everything that is around you.
If you consider yourself not worthy enough of the best, then automatically, unconsciously, you will belittle the dignity of the other person nearby. You will only need this to increase your self-esteem.
If you are completely unhappy with your husband, the question arises: are you satisfied with yourself? This is where you should start. By the way, this also applies to children.
It can be very painful to admit, but all changes in your life need to start with yourself. There are no other successful options. Is it true.
The role of the caring wife-helper is a trap. If you really want to help a man, leave his problems to him and help yourself.
When someone helps us, we often feel hostility towards this person because it seems to us that he is imposing his will and authority. Help is a type of power. By giving up the role of the nanny who takes care of everyone, we give the opportunity to someone else to take care of us.
How to motivate your husband to earn money
How to get rid of bad thoughts in your head and what to do if they constantly creep in
No one will argue that a man is the breadwinner of the family, and a woman is the keeper of the hearth. The wife’s task is to properly motivate and inspire the head of the family to earn money. Here are the challenges facing a woman whose spouse does not work:
- Make sure the family has common goals. Partners should move towards the same goal, discuss joint plans and ways to achieve them. This will not only allow the couple to get closer emotionally, but will also form a trusting relationship in the family. Men will move forward much faster when they clearly understand where and what result they are going to. This approach, as a component of motivation, is very effective, because the spouse will realize that he has a leading role.
A man and a woman look at each other, set common goals
- Allow a man to feel his value and importance. A man needs to feel that he is loved, appreciated and believed, even when things don’t work out for him. With the unconditional support of his wife, a man begins to understand that he has someone to try for. A woman needs to raise the self-esteem of a desperate man. In this case, he will have a desire to do as much as possible, earn money, and improve his professional level. You should also learn to be grateful for all the efforts of your life partner, so that your other half has the desire to give all his best. It is important for a man to realize that he makes a woman happy, including gifts. The desire to provide for a wife is one of the most powerful motivations for men.
- Create a suitable environment. The environment, without a doubt, has the most direct influence on a person: it forces him to strive for new goals and meet the required level. To fit into a certain company, it is necessary to have common interests with new acquaintances and correspond to them, including in material terms. If a woman can help a man create a social circle that will inspire him, then the husband will make every effort to become a full-fledged part of this company.
Male slowness
In modern society, it is still believed that financial difficulties should be solved by men. But recently, if you look into families, the picture is completely different, quite the opposite.
